121. The Hidden Cost of Making It Work: When Peace Is the Better ROI

Are you trying to make it work—even when it doesn’t really work for you?

In this episode, I open up about our recent home buying experience—how we put in an offer, ran the numbers, and realized the biggest purchase wasn’t the house… it was the peace we were giving up to get it. From mental gymnastics to misaligned values, I walk you through the financial, emotional, and legacy-level cost of trying to force a decision that just doesn’t fit.

You’ll learn:
 1️⃣ Why “we can make it work” might be your most expensive mindset.
 2️⃣ The 2 big signs your budget and values are out of alignment.
 3️⃣ How to say “not yet” without feeling like you’re missing out.
 4️⃣ Why peace should be part of your return on investment.

This is your reminder that long-term legacy > short-term pressure. Don’t sacrifice your sanity for the sake of a strategy.

🎯 ACTION STEP: Identify one area where you’re forcing it financially—then pause or pivot.

💬 Feeling stuck? Book a free Clarity Call with me at accelerateyourlegacy.com/claritycall and let’s get your money and mindset aligned.

Learn more about working with Laura Sexton

. Join the Facebook group Legacy Builders Network.

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Episode Transcript

Laura (00:02):
hello and welcome to money and career mastery from
overwhelmed to ownership.
I'm Laura Sexton, your abundanceand legacy coach here to help
you navigate the world of money,debt payoff, and career growth
with confidence and clarity.
In this podcast, we'll tacklethe financial and career
challenges, holding you back,optimize your income and build

(00:22):
the freedom that comes with trueownership.
If you're ready to break freefrom overwhelm, create a budget
that aligns with your values anddesign a legacy that empowers
future generations.
You're in the right place.
Hey, accelerators, I'm going totell you a little story.
Now, you guys have heard a bitabout, if you go back, you've

(00:44):
heard me talk about wanting tobuy a home and why we want to
purchase.
Purchasing a home is not alwaysright for everybody in every
situation.
We wanna be very thoughtfulabout, this is one of the
biggest purchasing decisionswe're going to make and.
Yeah, it's not the mostexpensive decision we've ever
made.
Because somebody pointed thisout to me yesterday.

(01:06):
We put an offer on a home andthe offer that we bid is less
than the amount of money that wepaid off in debt.
If you've been around for anyamount of time, you know, I paid
off$372,347 in debt, and forthis home we offered 347,000.
Which is close to$30,000 lessthan what we paid off in debt.

(01:29):
So that was a shockingrevelation.
But today I wanna talk to youabout this home buying process
and kind of where we were atwith everything, because we
found ourselves saying, well, wecan make it work.
You guys know I am the nerd inthe relationship.
I am the money guy, as it were,and I kept looking at the

(01:52):
numbers and going, well, if wecrunch them, we can make it
work.
You see saying, make it work toevery new financial challenge,
like market setbacks, cartrouble, counter offers.
That can be something I.
Doable, but that doesn't meanthat it's a peaceful decision.

(02:13):
And if you know anything aboutme, you know that what I'm after
is peace.
That's literally why I want tobuy a home.
I want a home where my kids canplay outside and have a good
time and run around so that Ican have a more peaceful
parenting experience.
What I mean by saying thatbuying this home would have made

(02:35):
for a financially andemotionally draining decision.
Is that eventually what we foundwas it did not align with what
we actually wanted.
Now, when we put in the initialoffer, we were under the
impression that we could pullour money out of our deferred
compensation plan.
We have a large amount in therethat we are not currently

(02:56):
contributing to because thereare better financial.
Vehicles that we could beputting our money in.
And so we have shifted thatover.
So it's just kind of sittingthere.
It's not gaining much interestbecause it is a federally
managed account, so it hasextremely conservative
investments and it is just kindof sitting, it's not doing much

(03:20):
of anything.
And so we had planned on pullingit out and putting a very large
down payment on this home.
It turns out that we could notget to that money, which was
very frustrating.
But I said, okay, that's okay.
There are other ways that we canmake this work.
So I started going through themental gymnastics of where can I

(03:42):
find enough money?
As long as we put 20% down, weshould be fine.
Now keep in mind, we areplanning on buying this home in
a state that is not our currenthome state.
And we were putting a bid onthis home side unseen.
Now my mother had gone, she'dwalked through it.
It's across the street from herhome.
All of these are wonderfulthings.

(04:03):
Her husband could do all of ourhandyman work'cause that's what
he does.
And I was like, this is gonna beabsolutely fabulous.
The house is only two years old,so we probably won't have hvac,
or.
Roof repairs or any of thesethings, and I'm sitting here
going, look at all thesewonderful things.
Look at all the wonderfulthings.
We actually had somebody thathad asked us if she could rent

(04:26):
from us for a couple monthsuntil we could move out there,
and we're sitting here going,are you getting somebody who's
going to pay us rent for acouple of months, which is going
to offset the cost?
Do you see how many hurdles,mental hurdles that I'm jumping
through to try and make thiswork?
When we put in the initialoffer, our monthly payment on a

(04:46):
15 year mortgage would've beenaround$2,000 a month, which is
insane.
However, by getting to barely a20% down payment, we are really
pushing it, and we are going tobe paying essentially what we're
paying for rent right now.
It's really frustrating though,because.

(05:07):
Having a home right across thestreet from my mom would be
ideal.
Having a brand new constructionhome that we could get for below
asking price and the currentmarket that we're in for homes
is crazy.
It doesn't happen, especially aturnkey new build like this, but

(05:27):
there are hidden costs to makingit work mentally, emotionally.
Financially and when.
The thing that I want most ispeace.
Why am I allowing myself to bedrained?
Making it work will drain youremotional reserves and it
impacts your decision makingcapacity.

(05:49):
I was doing literal mentalgymnastics, trying to figure out
where I could move money fromthis account to that account,
and I could probably pull thishere and I could take this away.
And I could do, it Becameexhausting, physically
exhausting.
I, I got tired trying to figureout how I could make it work.

(06:09):
And I know that some of you dothis often, and it goes back to
the justified spending that Iwas talking about last week.
The hidden cost of making itwork would have also caused me
to delay and also disrupt somelong-term goals like my savings
and investments.
Now, we had money set aside tobe able to cover almost 20% of

(06:34):
this home purchase.
We would have to take money outof other places like my business
cash reserves, to be able to hitthat 20% mark.
Why do you wanna pay at least20%?
So we can avoid private mortgageinsurance, which would've
increased our monthly payment byaround$300 a month.
So by finding the extra$3,000that I needed, I would save

(06:57):
myself$300 a month.
It's a considerable savings.
However, when the counter offercame back higher by around$8,000
higher, finding another$8,000was not something that I could
do.
And so the thought crossed mymind, well, what if we take

(07:20):
money out of our Roth IRA?
You can take.
Principal out of the Roth ira.
You cannot take any interestthat has accrued.
But thinking about taking$8,000,especially at that time, the
market was down.
The market was down a lot.
We lost around$12,000 in a day.

(07:40):
I say lost.
If we had taken it out of themarket at that time, we would've
actually lost it.
It was just lost on paper.
The market is going back up.
But the question is, is it worthit?
And the answer was no.
If this had been my dream homeand I needed to move in next
week, we may have thought aboutit.
It may have come to a differentresult because our necessity had

(08:04):
changed.
But this is a long-term goalbuying a home, and it's not
worth disrupting other areas ofour life.
Other plans that we have made.
I have big plans for the moneythat is in my account.
I am planning on having apicture book illustrated, and
that costs money, and so I needthat There.

(08:26):
I am building things out for youthat are going to be absolutely
amazing, and I don't wanna takemoney away from the piece of my
business and taking money out ofinvestments.
I never recommend that foranybody else.
So why was I considering it?
I was trying to make it work.
I hope you see where I'm goingwith this.

(08:47):
So here are three signs thatyour values and your budget are
out of alignment.
You're constantly stressed oranxious about money, even when
you technically can afford it.
We could have afforded the downpayment on this house.
And it was completely stressinducing, not worth it.
Your purchases reflect pressure,not peace or purpose.

(09:13):
We are constantly talking abouthow to make money easy.
Easy's not just the simplicityof things.
Ease is a way of being.
There's no world that I want youto be under pressure when it
comes to your financialdecisions.

(09:33):
That's funny.
That was only two signs thatyour values and your budget are
out of alignment.
But those were the two that cameto mind and I apparently stopped
writing notes after that.
So how do you say not yetwithout feeling like you're
missing out?
It does feel like I'm missingout, not getting the right
across the street from mymother.
You reframe No As not yet.

(09:53):
It's a strategic delay.
It's not a permanent.
So how do you say no withoutfeeling like you're missing out?
Well, the first thing we do iswe reframe it, right?
We're not saying no, we'resaying not right now, or not
yet.
This is a strategic delay.
It is not a permanent denial ofthe thing that I want.

(10:15):
Yes, we want a home and we want,but we want a peaceful home.
So when I realized that thosetwo things were not lining up,
we realized that this was notthe way to do it.
Another way to say no withoutfeeling like you're missing out
is to anchor your decisions inyour values and your legacies,
not your overall expectations.
Our expectations will lie to us.

(10:36):
Our feelings will lie to us.
We have to look at what thefacts are and how it aligns with
what we want most.
So here's your mindset shift.
Peace is a better ROI.
Your peace is worth more thanthat purchase.
If it's not aligning with yourvalues long term, it's not

(10:57):
aligning with your values.
What feels good right now mayharm you later.
And we have to look at things ina long term, legacy minded
focus.
If you were only looking atright now, that bag of chips, I
can eat the whole thing.
If we're only looking at rightnow, I don't need to work out.

(11:18):
But if I look at the long,long-term thinking, how is this
going to affect me later?
That's the ultimate.
So I'd like you to take onesmall action this week.
Identify one area where you'vebeen forcing it financially.
Where have you been saying I canmake it work?
Can you pause or pivot thisdecision?
Think about it.

(11:38):
If your make it work moment wasadding a car payment to the mix,
it may be trying to get rid ofthat car.
If your make it work moment isputting your kids in private
school.
And that doesn't align with yourfuture and you can't actually
make it work or making it workmeans that you're not getting to
do the other things that arevery important to you and your

(11:59):
family.
Can we pivot?
Is there a place that costsless?
Can we do homeschool?
What can we do to adjust this?
Identify an area that you'reforcing financially and decide
how you can pause or pivot.
If your finances feel tight andtangled, if it feels like things
are definitely out of alignment,but I can't figure out how to

(12:19):
pause and pivot, go ahead andbook a clarity call with me.
All you have to do is scrolldown into the show notes or go
to accelerate yourlegacy.com/clarity call, and you
can book a time to work with me.
I'm going to in 30 minutes helpyou get clear about the things
that are most important to youand that help you move forward

(12:40):
confidently.
Clarity and confidence willbuild the skill that you need to
make the legacy impact that youwere hoping to make.
So when you're feeling pressurein your finances, we need to
solve for peace.
The only math problem you needto do, it will need to equal
peace.
Okay, that's it for this week.
Accelerators, as you're goingout, you're looking for peace

(13:03):
over pressure.
Go out and make a difference.
thank you for spending time withus today on Money and Career
Mastery from Overwhelm toOwnership.
Remember, your legacy isn't justabout financial freedom.
It's about living with purpose,taking action, and building a
foundation that lasts forgenerations.
Don't just listen, implementwhat you've learned and share it

(13:25):
with someone who could use afinancial or career
breakthrough.
If you found value in today'sepisode, help us grow by rating,
reviewing, and sharing thepodcast.
I'll be back next week with morestrategies to help you master
your money and career.
Until then take ownership ofyour future and build your
legacy with intention.