October 22, 2025 • 33 mins
We trace the real costs of welcoming a second child and how a strict budget turned worry into confidence. From rising doula fees to two daycare bills, we share what changed, what we reused, and how we planned leave, space, and school decisions without losing joy.
• daycare becoming the largest monthly expense
• getting serious about budgeting to pay off debt
• navigating higher medical and doula costs
• planning for feeding costs and inflation
• where thrifting works and where buying new wins
• reusing gear and avoiding first‑time parent traps
• housing trade‑offs and space planning for two kids
• preparing for two tuitions and kindergarten choices
• funding parental leave with PTO, STD and savings
• making room for meaningful splurges within the plan
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Episode Transcript
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SPEAKER_00 (00:02):
Welcome to Money Matters, the podcast that
focuses on how to use the moneyyou have, make the money you
need, and save the money youwant.
Now, here is your host, Ms.
Kim Chapman.
SPEAKER_01 (00:14):
I'm your host, Kim Chapman.
And guess what?
Returning to the studio today,we have our very own Betty
Majika Malama.
If for our longtime listeners,way back when we started the
podcast, Betty was one of ourfirst guests because we were
talking about the cost of havinga baby.
Everything from diapers todelivery to childcare.
(00:37):
And now let's fast forward.
And guess what?
She is expecting baby numbertwo.
Welcome back, Betty.
Thanks.
Glad to be here.
She is no stranger to this room,to this studio, and definitely
not a stranger to the podcast.
So how are you doing?
Good, doing really well.
Happy Friday.
And Lenny is how old now?
She's three and a half.
Three and a half.
(00:58):
So it's it's it's been quite awhile.
And I know that you've learned alot about raising that first
kid, uh, what the expenses werelike, and we're gonna talk about
how well you've managed them.
And of course, now you're braveenough to go ahead and do it
again.
Again, I don't know what I'mthinking.
So, any any clues?
Do you want to tell ouraudience?
(01:18):
Do we know where we're heading?
We're having another girl.
SPEAKER_02 (01:21):
Another yeah, another girl.
So excited.
And honestly, excited for thecost savings alone.
SPEAKER_01 (01:28):
But you know what?
With that said, that meansyou're gonna have to do a boy
because we need to have apodcast where you compare
raising a girl to a boy.
SPEAKER_02 (01:35):
So you're gonna have to find somebody else, find
another person.
I'm done after this one.
SPEAKER_01 (01:41):
So let's talk about how has it been?
How has what has shocked you themost in terms of expenses?
I know we talked a lot about,you know, the delivery and the
diapers then, and you were justkind of in that very beginning
stage.
SPEAKER_02 (01:58):
Yeah, I mean, you know, I think it's been almost
four years, which is crazy tosay, of having, you know, a
newborn, a toddler, and now justkind of a full-blown little kid.
Um, and there's been a lot ofinteresting things um about kind
of the the way the finances havechanged over the last few years.
(02:19):
Um, obviously, probably thebiggest thing, and I don't know
if she was in daycare when welast no.
Yeah.
Um was I did I have the baby oryou had the baby.
I had the baby, but maybe shewas a new newborn.
Um daycare girl.
That's that's really, I thinkmost parents uh kind of
(02:40):
anticipate that being kind oftheir highest cost of having a
child.
Um, and daycare is definitely,you know, daycare and childcare
is definitely has been kind ofthe highest cost.
Obviously, now you're catchingme at almost four years.
So we've just it's now it's partof our budget and it's part of
our routine.
But I remember at first when shefirst started going to full-time
(03:01):
daycare, because she started ata mother's morning out, which
was a little less expensive, butwhen she started going to that
full-day daycare, I was a littlebit like, oh my god, that's a
lot of money every month.
Um, now we're used to it.
And now as soon as we're used toit, we're gonna have two
children in daycare.
Um so that's what you'll beworking for daycare.
(03:22):
Yes, basically.
Um, you know, so that's youknow, that's the next big hurdle
is like, okay, now I'm I'm notjust paying for one child to go
to daycare.
I'm gonna be paying for twochildren to go to school slash
daycare, you know, which cangive you a little bit of heart
palpitations.
SPEAKER_01 (03:38):
So of course, by the time the second baby comes, uh
Lenny will make four.
So they'll have a four-year gap.
And of course, just like thefirst pregnancy, this was
planned.
You and Eric talked about it.
I know that you always wanted tohave a second one.
So what influenced the timing?
SPEAKER_02 (03:52):
You know, um, it's actually really this is this is
a great um topic for us rightnow because in the last year,
Eric and I got really, reallyserious about budgeting.
Um, we had some debt that, youknow, we were paying off really
slowly and we weren't, we didn'thave like a really, really solid
plan.
And I wasn't feeling superstrongly about getting pregnant
(04:15):
again because I didn't feelcomfortable with taking on a
second child and a secondessentially financial
commitment, right?
Because it's like having Lenny,we got used to all of the
expenses of one child, and soyou work that in and we're able
to handle that.
But I knew that I wasn't gonnafeel comfortable multiplying
that times two in our currentfinancial situation.
(04:37):
So uh at the beginning of thisyear, no, at the beginning of
2024, um, we got really seriousabout uh budgeting and we kind
of started doing the the DaveRamsey Financial Peace
University thing um to really,really like start steamrolling
our debt and really get ourfinancial situation and picture
(04:58):
super in frame.
Um, and when we got really goodwith it, uh about six months
into it, where I we I felt likewe were really, really making a
lot of headway and just reallyfelt strongly like that we were
on the same page.
That's when I said, okay, I feelcomfortable, let's pull the
trigger.
And baby, just as quickly asbaby number one came, baby
(05:22):
number two came just as fast.
Um, probably, yeah, we're reallylucky, honestly, but it only
took us about three or fourmonths of trying, and and there
she was.
SPEAKER_01 (05:31):
Well, I have to ask, you said that of course you
decided that you wanted to getserious about it.
And I do remember Betty walkingaround saying, Hey, can't do
this, can't do that.
She'd put the hands on the deskand say, Don't look at my nails
because I'm not sure.
SPEAKER_02 (05:43):
Girl, and look, and don't look at them now because
we're on another cut with thenails because we're going to
Disney.
SPEAKER_01 (05:48):
So tell us how did you manage to do that?
How did you manage to, you know,get serious about a budget in a
time where everything is moreexpensive and it takes more
money just to live?
SPEAKER_02 (05:59):
I think that that was actually one of the big
things, right?
It was like just realizing howmuch things have gone up.
Um, and just like even feedingyour family can feel sometimes
daunting.
Um, egg, egg prices don't evenget me started.
I don't know.
Um, you know, and I think thatlike kind of was a little bit of
a wake-up call of just beinglike, okay, we actually have to
(06:22):
really, really make every pennycount.
Um, and I also had aconversation with a good friend
of mine who had done kind of theDave Ramsey thing.
And I had told him aboutactually my apprehension about
having a second child.
And it really was all a jumpingoff point of having the second
child.
I was like, I just don't feelfinancially comfortable to do
(06:43):
that yet.
And he was like, Well, you needto get serious then.
And I was like, leave me alone.
And then um, and then I told myhusband, and we, you know, we
just started jumping on a callwith him and another one of our
good friends who had also doneit, and they were kind of like
our mentors and our encouragers,you know, to just get clear and
(07:04):
just to put it all out on thetable.
Cause I think sometimes it'sscary.
You don't want to look at likewhat all the debts are, and I
know you know that becausethat's who you work with uh day
in and day out.
You just don't want to look atit because you're, you know,
you're shameful, you're fearful,whatever.
But it was like once we startedlooking at it, we were like,
it's a lot, but it's notanything we can't handle.
(07:25):
Um, and then that's when we hadto start buckling down.
And that honestly, in a way,it's kind of like a game when
you get into it because it'slike you really just have to
like make strategic choices ofwhat you're gonna do and stuff.
And I, yeah, I stopped gettingmy nails done.
That was like probably one of mybiggest just like fun, nice
(07:48):
thing expenses for myself.
And I would get, you know, Ialways had my fun nail art.
I was always like to the to thenines, you know, but that's over
a hundred dollars a month justthere for my nails.
Um, and I I stopped getting mynails done for like seven to
eight months.
Um and that's but the sacrifice,I mean, I hate to say it because
(08:09):
it sounds annoying, but it wasworth it, you know.
And then and then we were ableto start working back into the
budget a more reasonable nailbudget, right?
So then I was like, okay, well,like I can do a$70 nail set
instead of a$125 nail set, youknow, and and just looking at
the budget and being like, okay,where can I we shift?
Where can we move?
Um, and it just gives you likeguardrails.
(08:32):
Control.
And control, yeah, exactly.
So you just feel a lot moreconfident.
Even yesterday, my husband waslike, I'm really glad we did
what we did.
Like, I'm really glad we buckleddown and we got serious because
it's just it's peace of mind andcomfort knowing that we can take
care of our family, take care ofourselves, and welcome like a
new child without like beingstressed.
SPEAKER_01 (08:54):
How are you gonna feed them?
So let's let's exactly kind ofback up and think about
pregnancy number one and compareto the cost of pregnancy number
two.
What things in terms of priceshave changed the most?
Girl.
You gotta wear it more maternityclothes for sure because you you
barely showed Nick last time.
SPEAKER_02 (09:12):
Yeah, I'm a little bigger this time.
I'm a little bigger this time.
But you know what?
I've spent less money onmaternity clothes this time,
girl.
I'm you know, I'm scraping thebottom of the barrel.
This is like all stuff I got,hand-me-downs from friends and
things like that.
Um, yeah, I mean, like thehonestly, the biggest cost jump
is care, is like medical care.
(09:32):
And I was kind of telling youthe other day, I got a shock
because, you know, as wediscussed on my last podcast, uh
I had a natural birth at thebirth center, um, which is
pretty cost effective, honestly,way to have a child if you're if
you're willing to go withoutpain medication.
But um, you know, usually youcan also hire a doula as a, you
know, as an addition to your uhcare.
(09:55):
And that's a person who's withyou there while um, you know,
while you're having the baby,while you're laboring.
And they kind of, they're kindof like a point person for your
partner and for you.
They're not a medical person,they're more like a person that
just like keep you mentally inthe game and focused because it
is a difficult process.
Girl, my doula last time, she'sgreat, loved her.
(10:16):
She was like a thousand dollars,right?
And that's an out-of-pocketcost.
Like maybe this year Louisianamight start covering doula um
care with insurance if if theysubmit and they're become part
of the list of registereddoulas, but not in time for baby
number two.
Maybe not, maybe not.
So, you know, it's anout-of-pocket cost, and it was a
(10:39):
thousand dollars, same doulafour years later.
$1,850.
Wow.
So it's almost double in in fouryears, and obviously that's
reflective of all of the pricehikes of the last, you know,
four years and how expensivethings have gotten, and also her
demand.
You know, Baton Rouge isn't likea huge market with like millions
(11:02):
of doulas.
Like if you're in Austin or likeLos Angeles, you probably have
your pick of doulas, but that'snot necessarily the case in
Baton Rouge because it's not themost popular option.
So there's probably like five orsix people you can choose from
here in town, and she's the onewith the most experience.
So, you know, she's able tocharge that much because she has
the experience to back it up.
But girl, stressing me out.
(11:23):
1850.
SPEAKER_01 (11:27):
So, what are the things have you seen in terms of
prices that have really changed?
You know, I I should have lookedat this before.
SPEAKER_02 (11:36):
I didn't look at the price of formula yet because my
daughter was breastfed, but alsoformula fed because I had some
issues and I wasn't able toproduce enough breast milk for
her.
And so we did have to useformula and we wanted to use
like, you know, like cute, topof the line, like the best of
the best.
And it was expensive.
(11:56):
It was like a can of formula, itwas like 40 bucks.
unknown (11:59):
Wow.
SPEAKER_01 (11:59):
And then I remember there being a shortage at the
end of the day.
SPEAKER_02 (12:01):
And there was a shortage at a time.
And luckily for us, we did asubscription one that was online
that was not available instores, and it wasn't part of
the like, I think it was acontamination that caused the
shortage.
Um, and we never experienced anissue with receiving our
shipments.
But I haven't looked at theprice of formula, and you know,
(12:21):
fingers crossed, I won't havethe same issues as I had last
time.
Obviously, I know what wascausing them, so I'm able to
address it quicker.
But I'm scared to look at theprice of formula because I
imagine, you know, along withfood prices, we're gonna see a
big hike in that as well.
So if I do need to supplementwith formula or use exclusively
formula, there's a little bit ofuh fear.
(12:45):
But I haven't looked at theprices yet because I'm keeping
it hopeful that I'll be able tofeed her for free.
SPEAKER_01 (12:51):
That always works great.
So it's no secret, you love tothrift, you do it as a hobby,
you do it to make a little extrachange.
Is there a market for thriftingfor pregnant women, for newborn
babies?
SPEAKER_02 (13:04):
Yeah, I mean, I um I know a lot of people now,
especially that are so open tolike secondhand items for their
children.
Um, and there's a lot of placesin here in town, there's a a
store called Once Upon a Babythat's really great, especially
when for those kind of specialoccasion things.
Um, because you can go and spend$100,$120 on a three-month
(13:26):
little cutie gown for Christmasum that they're gonna wear once.
And maybe not even once.
They might not even let you putit on them that one time.
Um, and so yeah, I mean, onceupon a child and just like any
thrift store in town, if you'relooking any fancy outfit I've
ever used for photos, for familypictures, for whatever, I've
(13:49):
almost always thrifted becauseit's like the last person only
wore it once.
Right.
You know, like it's not, it'snot that um they're the least
used clothes.
It's the least used clothes.
I will say, as far I what I'vekind of found now as far as just
everyday clothes, those for meare actually harder to buy used
(14:09):
for children.
Um, because the day-to-dayclothes, those things get beat
up.
I know everybody who has kidsknows like the clothes your kids
wear every day, their playclothes, their school clothes,
those things get torn up.
Um, so I haven't thrifted asmuch for her day-to-day
clothing.
I we actually do buy that new.
(14:29):
Um, and let me say Walmart isdoing the Lord's work when it
comes to children's clothingbecause Target, still the
pricing, a little high for me.
Um, but Walmart has really cutestuff, really affordable.
And Carter's, I always sayCarter's is like great prices
and clothes last.
Um, so it's funny because asmuch as of a thrifter I am for
myself, for her day-to-daystuff, we have to go new because
(14:53):
it's like how in two weeks itgets so torn up, I don't
understand.
Um, so we kind of we start new,but we always try to, you know,
go to the more affordable spot.
So definitely Walmart andCarters are on speed dial for
us.
SPEAKER_01 (15:08):
And I'll tell you, even for those that aren't
thrifting, I think somethingthat's very common is that
especially when a mom knowsshe's gonna have another baby
and she may cross her fingersthat it's the same sex or not,
you know, were you able to savesome of Lenny's, you know, maybe
her bed, her bassinet, things ofthat nature.
Girl, you know I saved it all.
SPEAKER_02 (15:26):
Yeah, absolutely.
So a lot of the stuff we got forLenny the first time was, you
know, a lot of gender neutralstuff.
Like we, you know, we didn't geta pink crib or anything like
that, you know.
And I think most of the stufftoday, it's like for those basic
baby items, you know, it'sreally easy to get something
that would work for a girl or aboy.
Um, but yeah, we kept all of herstuff, all the stuff that
(15:47):
worked.
If it didn't work for her andfor us, like there were certain
baby carriers, was like 80clips.
It's like, I don't know how toput my kid in this thing.
We got rid of that stuff.
But the basics that worked forus, we kept all of that.
So we'll be able to dust it offfor baby number two, which is
really, really exciting.
And then same with the clothes.
Um, you know, we we get rid ofclothes quite frequently,
(16:07):
stained and, you know, like Isaid, pretty worn-in clothing.
But anything that wasn't wentinto a bunch of bins in my
garage.
They're all labeled.
I even separated stuff thatwould work for a boy and stuff
that would work for a girl.
And when we found out it was agirl, the boy stuff immediately
went out to other friends andthings.
So um, we really haven't had tobuy too, too much for this baby
(16:30):
yet.
I feel kind of bad for her.
SPEAKER_01 (16:32):
Well, you know, there's a Huggies commercial
that I absolutely love.
I don't even know if they stillplay that really kind of sums up
parenting when you're having thesecond childhood T.
And it talks about how thatfirst child, you know, you you
buy them everything, you hoverover them, you spend the top of
the line, this, that, and theother.
By the time you get to kidnumber two, reality sets in.
(16:53):
I think there's one where theydo a pacifier, and you know, the
first one they sterilize it whenit falls on the floor.
By the time it's the second kid,they just go, you know, here you
go.
So tell me something that maybeyou went a little bit overboard
with with Lenny, and now thatyou're having baby number two,
you know you're gonna have torein it in just a little bit.
You're over it.
SPEAKER_02 (17:11):
Um, I would say that was me at the beginning was
thrifting like baby clothes,like vintage, cute, vintage
little baby clothes with allthese little buttons and
embroidery.
So cute.
This child never wore not asingle one of those items.
Um, I still have them, but Idon't even, it's like I don't
(17:33):
even give it a second thoughtnow, which I again I feel kind
of bad for this child, becauseit's just like it's not the same
at all.
It is very much picking up thebobo and dusting it off and and
you know, and whatever, justbecause it's like of everything
I've learned in the last fouryears and like what's actually
like important and useful andpragmatic.
(17:54):
And it's like as much as I wouldlove, you know, to have like the
little fruit fruit girl stuff.
It was just like that wasn'tLenny, and I can't, I don't know
if it'll be this next girl, butum, I have a couple things, and
really I love to wait.
What I found like in parentingis I like to wait until they
(18:15):
tell me what's up, and then I'llspend money on it, right?
So it's like when they showinterest, then to me it makes
more sense to spend moneyinstead of like pipe dreams that
she's gonna want to wear thislittle fru-fru Dolly Parton
dress that she's not gonna wantto wear.
Cause you know, you can lose alot of money just like being
excited and like pre-buyingthings that don't end up even
(18:38):
being used in your house.
So I kind of just try to waituntil a signal or a sign that
that something might be usefulor fun for them and then kind of
move in that direction.
SPEAKER_01 (18:48):
So let's talk a little bit about technology and
AI.
I know that you said you'reusing a doula, but you know, I'm
sure you still go to the officefor visits.
Have you noticed any changes,anything different that's
available now that maybe wasn'tavailable for the first
pregnancy?
SPEAKER_02 (19:03):
You know, not really.
Everything for everything for myvisits has been pretty normal,
pretty straightforward, fromlike the same as the last time.
Um, you know, I think last timethere was more hype around like
the 4D ultrasound thing, maybefour years ago.
This time scary looking photos.
I don't like them.
(19:24):
I didn't get it the first timeand I won't get it now.
Um, but yeah, I mean,everything's just been pretty
much the same.
Honestly, if anything, I feellike I've like done less.
I've seen the doctor or themidwives less.
Like, again, I don't know if I'mjust being like laxadaisical,
but I'm just like, you just tellme when to come in and
everything's normal.
(19:44):
So like, let's just move forwardas normal.
Um, so yeah, like nothing likenew cutting edge.
Maybe if I was in the hospital,it would be different, but I'm
just over at the birth centerwith the crunchy people.
SPEAKER_01 (19:57):
So, of course, baby number two's not here yet.
So I know that you've beencutting back, you've been
working that budget, making surethe debt.
What changes do you think you'regonna have to make after the
baby arrives?
SPEAKER_02 (20:09):
I'm scared.
Um yeah, I mean, I think it'sreally gonna be taking on that
secondary um, you know, cost ofdaycare and cost of school.
We don't know where Lenny'sgonna go to kindergarten.
So that's also a big questionmark for us.
Um, she'll be going intokindergarten in fall of 2026.
So they'll overlap in daycare,you know, probably for like six
(20:32):
to eight months.
Um, and then, you know, it'll beinteresting to see like whether
we choose to go to a privateschool or a school that has
tuition versus a public school.
Um, because obviously that'llthat'll kind of dictate what we
have to do as far as our budgetgoes, right?
So, you know, I'm scared is allI can say.
(20:54):
Um, because you know, having twochildren and and knowing that
we're gonna be, you know,supporting their education for
the next 18 years, both of them,um, is a little bit, a little
bit daunting.
Um so that's probably like thebiggest thing is like we're just
gonna have to really startfocusing in on, you know, if
(21:14):
we're gonna end up choosing forLenny to go to a private school,
we're gonna have to like reallystart saving and cutting back um
to be prepared for fall of 26when we're paying for two full,
full uh school tuitions, um,which will be crazy.
I know you did it.
Good for you.
SPEAKER_01 (21:34):
So let's talk about, you know, baby number two,
definitely more food, moreeverything.
You know, what other things haveyou had to make adjustments or
will you have to makeadjustments for simply because
it's a second child?
You know, some people aredriving little cars and then
they jump into the minivan.
I don't see you as the minivan.
I see you as the good time van,but not just I'm the good time
(21:54):
van.
Put the lights in the ceiling.
But not necessarily the minivan.
Are there other types ofadjustments that you're having
to make in order to make roomfor baby number two?
SPEAKER_02 (22:03):
Yeah, so right now um we're still in the same house
we were in as last time, whichis a two-bedroom, two-bath.
Um, and you know, and we'vereally come to accept that
that's the house we're gonnahave to kind of be in for a
while.
We have a good interest rate onit, our mortgage is low, you
know, and it's in an area thatwe like to be in.
(22:23):
We have a lot of friends in thearea.
So, you know, we've kind ofaccepted that.
But with that means we've had tomake adjustments to, you know,
Lenny's room, which is now gonnabe the girls' room.
So we've kind of had to likemake some modifications.
Um, we we did get a bunk bed forthem, which obviously the baby
won't use, but we neededsomething to like save space in
(22:43):
the room, but also still keepthe amount of you know, sleep
surfaces, because we do like tohave people, you know, come from
out of town and stay with usoccasionally and things like
that.
So figuring out how to make thatspace work for two children and
not just two children, but twochildren that are in very
different developmental stages,right?
So having an area where the babycan have all of their changing
(23:06):
table and diapers and crib, butalso having an area where Lenny
can have all of her toys andeverything like that.
So we've had to do that, andactually just this week we've
been kind of texting about myhusband and I have been texting
about, we live together.
I don't know why I'm talkingabout we texting about it, but
we weren't just texting aboutit.
Um, about, you know, potentiallyhaving to expand our house.
(23:27):
We love our house, and again,the interest rate is so low.
We're an under 3% interest rate.
So it's just like really hard toconsider selling our house
because no matter what six orseven percent.
Right, exactly.
Like, you know, just end uppaying a lot more, our mortgage
would be higher and the interestrate would be higher.
So trying to figure out waysthat we could make that house
(23:49):
work for us for longer term.
Obviously, in the, you know, inthe first year, it's not as big
of a deal.
But as the girls get bigger,we're gonna kill each other.
I think we might.
So, you know, I think that's ourbiggest kind of future question.
Um, more than cars or anything,is just like, what do we do
about our living space?
(24:10):
Um, you know, how do we how dowe make it work for us?
Do we add on to the house or dowe just bite the bullet and you
know, sell it and buy somethingat a higher interest rate?
Or, you know, do we rent it out?
Just all the different questionsthat you might have about we're
gonna need more space at somepoint, and it's probably gonna
(24:30):
come sooner than we want.
So talking about like expandingand things like that, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (24:35):
Now, having girls, of course, are always more
expensive than boys.
So, how do you think you'regonna handle it financially?
You know, resist the urge towant to have them dressed alike
and having to buy double ofeverything.
SPEAKER_02 (24:48):
I can't resist that urge, actually.
That's an urge I can't resist.
Um, I that's probably gonna bemy biggest challenge.
I think you probably know that.
Um, I want because I match withmy daughter a lot.
Like, we have all 10 pairs ofmatching pajamas.
Like 10.
I mean, girl, and it's likeshe'll be like, you need to wear
(25:09):
your matchy, matchy pajamastonight.
And some nights she's like, I'mnot doing matchy matchy.
But now having two girls, thatmeans I'm gonna need matching
pajamas, and both of them aregonna need matching pajamas.
Um, and yeah, I mean, there'sdefinitely like the urge to just
kit them out for the gods.
(25:30):
I don't know.
I don't know how I'm gonnahandle that, Kim, actually.
That's that's a good questionbecause, like, you know, we're
going to Disney and uh I'm onthe internet all the time being
like matching outfits for all ofus, matching outfits for, you
know, just the three of us.
So the idea of adding a fourthperson in the mix of of that and
just like those specialcelebration, you know, t-shirts
(25:52):
and things like that.
But you know, I'm I I keep itthrifty and I can usually figure
out ways to do it on a dime, doit on a budget.
So make my own Disney t-shirts,like I don't need to order them
from anybody else and you know,and all that type of good stuff.
So, you know, I think we've donewell enough though for ourselves
that if I want to splurge, wecan fit it into the budget.
SPEAKER_01 (26:14):
Yeah, but I definitely think that's got to
be one of the hardest challengesfor moms with two little girls
because it's just soirresistible to dress them alike
and get all the cutesy littlethings for girls.
SPEAKER_02 (26:25):
Well, and you know what's so funny?
Um, our other coworker uh had adaughter a year ago.
She just turned a year.
Can you believe that?
And he gave me a bunch of babyclothes that were hers.
And in the bag, there wasactually a dress, a zero to
three month dress that is thezero to three month version of a
dress that Lenny actuallyalready had.
(26:46):
And you have to believe Iscreamed.
I was like, matching dresses,um, which was perfect.
So uh, you know, God God doesthings, He works, uh, so you
don't have to as hard.
So I do have a couple ofmatching outfits for them
already.
And luckily I have nieces thatare the same age gap, and so
they have a lot of matchingstuff that I'm sure will get
(27:09):
mailed over to us wheneverthey're they're done with them.
SPEAKER_01 (27:12):
So you've you've definitely testified how you've
grown financially.
What's the one thing or what'sthe one habit or skill that
you've picked up now that youwish you knew for baby number
one for Lenny?
SPEAKER_02 (27:26):
Um, you know, I think my biggest regret or wish
would have been to be on thebudgeting journey sooner and be
better at saving sooner.
Um, because I was only able totake two months off with her and
I plan to take more time off umfor this baby.
But yeah, I mean, this time Ihave, you know, my sick and
(27:51):
vacation banked, which I do haveto use all of that um on leave.
But I also started paying intoshort-term disability like a
year ago, so that'll be able tokick in.
And then we've also started asavings fund for that additional
time.
Um, and so that'll mean I'llhave more time with my baby at
home before I have to come backto work, which um, you know,
(28:12):
which I think is like uhprobably the most important
thing to me is just having moretime together.
Um, the first time around waschallenging.
Hopefully this time I know alittle bit more, but I'm sure
it'll have its own challenges.
So just to have a little bitmore dedicated time with the
newborn um without having toworry about the money aspect and
needing to rush back to work isprobably the biggest thing.
(28:33):
So I'm I'm really grateful thatwe we kind of went on the
journey and now I cancomfortably say I can take, you
know, the full extent of my timethat the law allows and I can
pay for it.
SPEAKER_01 (28:45):
Definitely sounds like everything you did was well
worth it.
So, what's the one thing thatyou're looking forward to the
most right now?
Going to Disney, girl.
SPEAKER_02 (28:54):
You know, going to Disney.
Um, yeah, we that was evensomething part of the um part of
the budgeting question, youknow, and I had I had to do some
soul searching about it, but Ijust felt really um after kind
of all the sacrificing that wehad done, I just felt really
strongly that I wanted to bring,you know, our firstborn there to
(29:14):
have the full Disney experience.
And that includes the BibityBobbity Boutique, the crown
level package,$200.
And you know what is even sosweet?
Like all my friends and like ourfamily know we have been on this
journey.
And I actually had two differentfriends who, like, you know, out
of nowhere, basically, when Iwas kind of like talking about
(29:34):
whether I felt like we couldafford it or not to go to
Disney, they they both gave us$100 to cover the cost of the
bibbity bobbity boutique, youknow.
And and I think that that'sthere's also something to say
about that.
I think sometimes when you're ona budgeting journey, you can
feel like ashamed, like that youhave to say no to things or that
you have to like be like, no,like I don't know if I can do
(29:54):
this because of the money.
But it actually felt reallyfreeing for me to be honest with
everybody and be like, yeah, I.
Just like I that's not in thebudget.
SPEAKER_01 (30:02):
Love it when we always talk about budget.
I told Chad that one of thesedays we're gonna get a little
highlighted sign, and every timemy guest mentions the word
budget, because I don't evenhave to say it.
All my guests know it.
Yeah, you know, we're gonnaflash the little budget sign and
go.
SPEAKER_02 (30:16):
Yeah, but it's like you also find that like people
who care about you and see thatyou're working really hard
towards your goals and liketowards expanding your family or
whatever your goal is, you know,to to they they want to support
you and they want to see youthrive and ooh, girl, make me
cry actually.
But yeah, it's because I waslike, I don't know if we can go.
It's just like it's like we can,but it's like, is it a wise
(30:38):
choice?
And then, you know, spoke with abunch of friends and they're
like, you've worked so hard,like you deserve it.
And then just to have otherpeople just like recognize that
and and also want the same thingfor my daughter that I want,
which is just have this magicallike princess experience, you
know, before her little sisteris born.
It, you know, it makes you feellike it's all just like worth
it, and you know, and I joke,but like, you know, that God is
(31:01):
really has a plan and you know,but you have to work with him.
You can't work against him, youknow.
And I think that, yeah, I thinkI used to hate the word budget,
and I actually love it now.
Yeah, we talk about budget allthe time.
I know.
It's actually like I love it.
I love just going into thebudget and being like, can I buy
something?
And like being like, Yep, I can.
We have the money for it, andnot having to like have that
(31:23):
fear, you know, of like whetherI I want something or not, and
knowing if I can do it or not.
It's like the answer is alwaysclear.
SPEAKER_01 (31:31):
So, you know, right now Betty still has the young
kids and they're not asexpensive.
No, girl, I'm scared.
So, of course, you know, we'regonna continue to have you come
back on this journey, you know,when you have the two of them in
daycare, and as they grow older,and when you have to buy two
cars, you know, we'll justfollow it through and see how
much she smiles about thosebudgets.
(31:51):
But I'm so happy for you andEric.
I am so glad that it's workingout exactly the way you want to.
And so I guess maybe this willbe it for you until after baby
number two comes along.
But we'll definitely have youback.
SPEAKER_02 (32:04):
Look, the next one will be my mommy makeover.
That'll be the next mommymakeover.
Mommy makeover, that's the nextbig budgeting item.
unknown (32:12):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (32:13):
All right.
Well, that's it for today'sepisode.
SPEAKER_00 (32:19):
It's time for blueprint building blocks.
Small changes that lead to bigfinancial wins.
Let's stack up for success.
SPEAKER_01 (32:28):
Adjust your budget early.
Plan ahead for increased costs,whether it's diapers, child
care, or medical expenses.
Reuse and repurpose.
Don't assume you need to buyeverything new.
Check out what can be reusedfrom baby number one because it
may be really helpful for babynumber two.
Plan for inflation.
Keep an eye on rising costs andlook for bulk deals and
(32:51):
discounts or essentials.
And then update your financialplan.
A second child means revisitingyour emergency fund, insurance
policies, and savings goals.
SPEAKER_00 (33:01):
That's a wrap on today's Blueprint Building
Blocks.
Stay on track with yourfinancial journey.
Subscribe to the Money MattersPodcast, and visit
neighborsfcu.org slash financialwellness for more tools to help
you build a strong financialfuture.
Welcome to Money Matters, the podcast that
focuses on how to use the moneyyou have, make the money you
need, and save the money youwant.
Now, here is your host, Ms.
Kim Chapman.
SPEAKER_01 (00:14):
I'm your host, Kim Chapman.
And guess what?
Returning to the studio today,we have our very own Betty
Majika Malama.
If for our longtime listeners,way back when we started the
podcast, Betty was one of ourfirst guests because we were
talking about the cost of havinga baby.
Everything from diapers todelivery to childcare.
(00:37):
And now let's fast forward.
And guess what?
She is expecting baby numbertwo.
Welcome back, Betty.
Thanks.
Glad to be here.
She is no stranger to this room,to this studio, and definitely
not a stranger to the podcast.
So how are you doing?
Good, doing really well.
Happy Friday.
And Lenny is how old now?
She's three and a half.
Three and a half.
(00:58):
So it's it's it's been quite awhile.
And I know that you've learned alot about raising that first
kid, uh, what the expenses werelike, and we're gonna talk about
how well you've managed them.
And of course, now you're braveenough to go ahead and do it
again.
Again, I don't know what I'mthinking.
So, any any clues?
Do you want to tell ouraudience?
(01:18):
Do we know where we're heading?
We're having another girl.
SPEAKER_02 (01:21):
Another yeah, another girl.
So excited.
And honestly, excited for thecost savings alone.
SPEAKER_01 (01:28):
But you know what?
With that said, that meansyou're gonna have to do a boy
because we need to have apodcast where you compare
raising a girl to a boy.
SPEAKER_02 (01:35):
So you're gonna have to find somebody else, find
another person.
I'm done after this one.
SPEAKER_01 (01:41):
So let's talk about how has it been?
How has what has shocked you themost in terms of expenses?
I know we talked a lot about,you know, the delivery and the
diapers then, and you were justkind of in that very beginning
stage.
SPEAKER_02 (01:58):
Yeah, I mean, you know, I think it's been almost
four years, which is crazy tosay, of having, you know, a
newborn, a toddler, and now justkind of a full-blown little kid.
Um, and there's been a lot ofinteresting things um about kind
of the the way the finances havechanged over the last few years.
(02:19):
Um, obviously, probably thebiggest thing, and I don't know
if she was in daycare when welast no.
Yeah.
Um was I did I have the baby oryou had the baby.
I had the baby, but maybe shewas a new newborn.
Um daycare girl.
That's that's really, I thinkmost parents uh kind of
(02:40):
anticipate that being kind oftheir highest cost of having a
child.
Um, and daycare is definitely,you know, daycare and childcare
is definitely has been kind ofthe highest cost.
Obviously, now you're catchingme at almost four years.
So we've just it's now it's partof our budget and it's part of
our routine.
But I remember at first when shefirst started going to full-time
(03:01):
daycare, because she started ata mother's morning out, which
was a little less expensive, butwhen she started going to that
full-day daycare, I was a littlebit like, oh my god, that's a
lot of money every month.
Um, now we're used to it.
And now as soon as we're used toit, we're gonna have two
children in daycare.
Um so that's what you'll beworking for daycare.
(03:22):
Yes, basically.
Um, you know, so that's youknow, that's the next big hurdle
is like, okay, now I'm I'm notjust paying for one child to go
to daycare.
I'm gonna be paying for twochildren to go to school slash
daycare, you know, which cangive you a little bit of heart
palpitations.
SPEAKER_01 (03:38):
So of course, by the time the second baby comes, uh
Lenny will make four.
So they'll have a four-year gap.
And of course, just like thefirst pregnancy, this was
planned.
You and Eric talked about it.
I know that you always wanted tohave a second one.
So what influenced the timing?
SPEAKER_02 (03:52):
You know, um, it's actually really this is this is
a great um topic for us rightnow because in the last year,
Eric and I got really, reallyserious about budgeting.
Um, we had some debt that, youknow, we were paying off really
slowly and we weren't, we didn'thave like a really, really solid
plan.
And I wasn't feeling superstrongly about getting pregnant
(04:15):
again because I didn't feelcomfortable with taking on a
second child and a secondessentially financial
commitment, right?
Because it's like having Lenny,we got used to all of the
expenses of one child, and soyou work that in and we're able
to handle that.
But I knew that I wasn't gonnafeel comfortable multiplying
that times two in our currentfinancial situation.
(04:37):
So uh at the beginning of thisyear, no, at the beginning of
2024, um, we got really seriousabout uh budgeting and we kind
of started doing the the DaveRamsey Financial Peace
University thing um to really,really like start steamrolling
our debt and really get ourfinancial situation and picture
(04:58):
super in frame.
Um, and when we got really goodwith it, uh about six months
into it, where I we I felt likewe were really, really making a
lot of headway and just reallyfelt strongly like that we were
on the same page.
That's when I said, okay, I feelcomfortable, let's pull the
trigger.
And baby, just as quickly asbaby number one came, baby
(05:22):
number two came just as fast.
Um, probably, yeah, we're reallylucky, honestly, but it only
took us about three or fourmonths of trying, and and there
she was.
SPEAKER_01 (05:31):
Well, I have to ask, you said that of course you
decided that you wanted to getserious about it.
And I do remember Betty walkingaround saying, Hey, can't do
this, can't do that.
She'd put the hands on the deskand say, Don't look at my nails
because I'm not sure.
SPEAKER_02 (05:43):
Girl, and look, and don't look at them now because
we're on another cut with thenails because we're going to
Disney.
SPEAKER_01 (05:48):
So tell us how did you manage to do that?
How did you manage to, you know,get serious about a budget in a
time where everything is moreexpensive and it takes more
money just to live?
SPEAKER_02 (05:59):
I think that that was actually one of the big
things, right?
It was like just realizing howmuch things have gone up.
Um, and just like even feedingyour family can feel sometimes
daunting.
Um, egg, egg prices don't evenget me started.
I don't know.
Um, you know, and I think thatlike kind of was a little bit of
a wake-up call of just beinglike, okay, we actually have to
(06:22):
really, really make every pennycount.
Um, and I also had aconversation with a good friend
of mine who had done kind of theDave Ramsey thing.
And I had told him aboutactually my apprehension about
having a second child.
And it really was all a jumpingoff point of having the second
child.
I was like, I just don't feelfinancially comfortable to do
(06:43):
that yet.
And he was like, Well, you needto get serious then.
And I was like, leave me alone.
And then um, and then I told myhusband, and we, you know, we
just started jumping on a callwith him and another one of our
good friends who had also doneit, and they were kind of like
our mentors and our encouragers,you know, to just get clear and
(07:04):
just to put it all out on thetable.
Cause I think sometimes it'sscary.
You don't want to look at likewhat all the debts are, and I
know you know that becausethat's who you work with uh day
in and day out.
You just don't want to look atit because you're, you know,
you're shameful, you're fearful,whatever.
But it was like once we startedlooking at it, we were like,
it's a lot, but it's notanything we can't handle.
(07:25):
Um, and then that's when we hadto start buckling down.
And that honestly, in a way,it's kind of like a game when
you get into it because it'slike you really just have to
like make strategic choices ofwhat you're gonna do and stuff.
And I, yeah, I stopped gettingmy nails done.
That was like probably one of mybiggest just like fun, nice
(07:48):
thing expenses for myself.
And I would get, you know, Ialways had my fun nail art.
I was always like to the to thenines, you know, but that's over
a hundred dollars a month justthere for my nails.
Um, and I I stopped getting mynails done for like seven to
eight months.
Um and that's but the sacrifice,I mean, I hate to say it because
(08:09):
it sounds annoying, but it wasworth it, you know.
And then and then we were ableto start working back into the
budget a more reasonable nailbudget, right?
So then I was like, okay, well,like I can do a$70 nail set
instead of a$125 nail set, youknow, and and just looking at
the budget and being like, okay,where can I we shift?
Where can we move?
Um, and it just gives you likeguardrails.
(08:32):
Control.
And control, yeah, exactly.
So you just feel a lot moreconfident.
Even yesterday, my husband waslike, I'm really glad we did
what we did.
Like, I'm really glad we buckleddown and we got serious because
it's just it's peace of mind andcomfort knowing that we can take
care of our family, take care ofourselves, and welcome like a
new child without like beingstressed.
SPEAKER_01 (08:54):
How are you gonna feed them?
So let's let's exactly kind ofback up and think about
pregnancy number one and compareto the cost of pregnancy number
two.
What things in terms of priceshave changed the most?
Girl.
You gotta wear it more maternityclothes for sure because you you
barely showed Nick last time.
SPEAKER_02 (09:12):
Yeah, I'm a little bigger this time.
I'm a little bigger this time.
But you know what?
I've spent less money onmaternity clothes this time,
girl.
I'm you know, I'm scraping thebottom of the barrel.
This is like all stuff I got,hand-me-downs from friends and
things like that.
Um, yeah, I mean, like thehonestly, the biggest cost jump
is care, is like medical care.
(09:32):
And I was kind of telling youthe other day, I got a shock
because, you know, as wediscussed on my last podcast, uh
I had a natural birth at thebirth center, um, which is
pretty cost effective, honestly,way to have a child if you're if
you're willing to go withoutpain medication.
But um, you know, usually youcan also hire a doula as a, you
know, as an addition to your uhcare.
(09:55):
And that's a person who's withyou there while um, you know,
while you're having the baby,while you're laboring.
And they kind of, they're kindof like a point person for your
partner and for you.
They're not a medical person,they're more like a person that
just like keep you mentally inthe game and focused because it
is a difficult process.
Girl, my doula last time, she'sgreat, loved her.
(10:16):
She was like a thousand dollars,right?
And that's an out-of-pocketcost.
Like maybe this year Louisianamight start covering doula um
care with insurance if if theysubmit and they're become part
of the list of registereddoulas, but not in time for baby
number two.
Maybe not, maybe not.
So, you know, it's anout-of-pocket cost, and it was a
(10:39):
thousand dollars, same doulafour years later.
$1,850.
Wow.
So it's almost double in in fouryears, and obviously that's
reflective of all of the pricehikes of the last, you know,
four years and how expensivethings have gotten, and also her
demand.
You know, Baton Rouge isn't likea huge market with like millions
(11:02):
of doulas.
Like if you're in Austin or likeLos Angeles, you probably have
your pick of doulas, but that'snot necessarily the case in
Baton Rouge because it's not themost popular option.
So there's probably like five orsix people you can choose from
here in town, and she's the onewith the most experience.
So, you know, she's able tocharge that much because she has
the experience to back it up.
But girl, stressing me out.
(11:23):
1850.
SPEAKER_01 (11:27):
So, what are the things have you seen in terms of
prices that have really changed?
You know, I I should have lookedat this before.
SPEAKER_02 (11:36):
I didn't look at the price of formula yet because my
daughter was breastfed, but alsoformula fed because I had some
issues and I wasn't able toproduce enough breast milk for
her.
And so we did have to useformula and we wanted to use
like, you know, like cute, topof the line, like the best of
the best.
And it was expensive.
(11:56):
It was like a can of formula, itwas like 40 bucks.
unknown (11:59):
Wow.
SPEAKER_01 (11:59):
And then I remember there being a shortage at the
end of the day.
SPEAKER_02 (12:01):
And there was a shortage at a time.
And luckily for us, we did asubscription one that was online
that was not available instores, and it wasn't part of
the like, I think it was acontamination that caused the
shortage.
Um, and we never experienced anissue with receiving our
shipments.
But I haven't looked at theprice of formula, and you know,
(12:21):
fingers crossed, I won't havethe same issues as I had last
time.
Obviously, I know what wascausing them, so I'm able to
address it quicker.
But I'm scared to look at theprice of formula because I
imagine, you know, along withfood prices, we're gonna see a
big hike in that as well.
So if I do need to supplementwith formula or use exclusively
formula, there's a little bit ofuh fear.
(12:45):
But I haven't looked at theprices yet because I'm keeping
it hopeful that I'll be able tofeed her for free.
SPEAKER_01 (12:51):
That always works great.
So it's no secret, you love tothrift, you do it as a hobby,
you do it to make a little extrachange.
Is there a market for thriftingfor pregnant women, for newborn
babies?
SPEAKER_02 (13:04):
Yeah, I mean, I um I know a lot of people now,
especially that are so open tolike secondhand items for their
children.
Um, and there's a lot of placesin here in town, there's a a
store called Once Upon a Babythat's really great, especially
when for those kind of specialoccasion things.
Um, because you can go and spend$100,$120 on a three-month
(13:26):
little cutie gown for Christmasum that they're gonna wear once.
And maybe not even once.
They might not even let you putit on them that one time.
Um, and so yeah, I mean, onceupon a child and just like any
thrift store in town, if you'relooking any fancy outfit I've
ever used for photos, for familypictures, for whatever, I've
(13:49):
almost always thrifted becauseit's like the last person only
wore it once.
Right.
You know, like it's not, it'snot that um they're the least
used clothes.
It's the least used clothes.
I will say, as far I what I'vekind of found now as far as just
everyday clothes, those for meare actually harder to buy used
(14:09):
for children.
Um, because the day-to-dayclothes, those things get beat
up.
I know everybody who has kidsknows like the clothes your kids
wear every day, their playclothes, their school clothes,
those things get torn up.
Um, so I haven't thrifted asmuch for her day-to-day
clothing.
I we actually do buy that new.
(14:29):
Um, and let me say Walmart isdoing the Lord's work when it
comes to children's clothingbecause Target, still the
pricing, a little high for me.
Um, but Walmart has really cutestuff, really affordable.
And Carter's, I always sayCarter's is like great prices
and clothes last.
Um, so it's funny because asmuch as of a thrifter I am for
myself, for her day-to-daystuff, we have to go new because
(14:53):
it's like how in two weeks itgets so torn up, I don't
understand.
Um, so we kind of we start new,but we always try to, you know,
go to the more affordable spot.
So definitely Walmart andCarters are on speed dial for
us.
SPEAKER_01 (15:08):
And I'll tell you, even for those that aren't
thrifting, I think somethingthat's very common is that
especially when a mom knowsshe's gonna have another baby
and she may cross her fingersthat it's the same sex or not,
you know, were you able to savesome of Lenny's, you know, maybe
her bed, her bassinet, things ofthat nature.
Girl, you know I saved it all.
SPEAKER_02 (15:26):
Yeah, absolutely.
So a lot of the stuff we got forLenny the first time was, you
know, a lot of gender neutralstuff.
Like we, you know, we didn't geta pink crib or anything like
that, you know.
And I think most of the stufftoday, it's like for those basic
baby items, you know, it'sreally easy to get something
that would work for a girl or aboy.
Um, but yeah, we kept all of herstuff, all the stuff that
(15:47):
worked.
If it didn't work for her andfor us, like there were certain
baby carriers, was like 80clips.
It's like, I don't know how toput my kid in this thing.
We got rid of that stuff.
But the basics that worked forus, we kept all of that.
So we'll be able to dust it offfor baby number two, which is
really, really exciting.
And then same with the clothes.
Um, you know, we we get rid ofclothes quite frequently,
(16:07):
stained and, you know, like Isaid, pretty worn-in clothing.
But anything that wasn't wentinto a bunch of bins in my
garage.
They're all labeled.
I even separated stuff thatwould work for a boy and stuff
that would work for a girl.
And when we found out it was agirl, the boy stuff immediately
went out to other friends andthings.
So um, we really haven't had tobuy too, too much for this baby
(16:30):
yet.
I feel kind of bad for her.
SPEAKER_01 (16:32):
Well, you know, there's a Huggies commercial
that I absolutely love.
I don't even know if they stillplay that really kind of sums up
parenting when you're having thesecond childhood T.
And it talks about how thatfirst child, you know, you you
buy them everything, you hoverover them, you spend the top of
the line, this, that, and theother.
By the time you get to kidnumber two, reality sets in.
(16:53):
I think there's one where theydo a pacifier, and you know, the
first one they sterilize it whenit falls on the floor.
By the time it's the second kid,they just go, you know, here you
go.
So tell me something that maybeyou went a little bit overboard
with with Lenny, and now thatyou're having baby number two,
you know you're gonna have torein it in just a little bit.
You're over it.
SPEAKER_02 (17:11):
Um, I would say that was me at the beginning was
thrifting like baby clothes,like vintage, cute, vintage
little baby clothes with allthese little buttons and
embroidery.
So cute.
This child never wore not asingle one of those items.
Um, I still have them, but Idon't even, it's like I don't
(17:33):
even give it a second thoughtnow, which I again I feel kind
of bad for this child, becauseit's just like it's not the same
at all.
It is very much picking up thebobo and dusting it off and and
you know, and whatever, justbecause it's like of everything
I've learned in the last fouryears and like what's actually
like important and useful andpragmatic.
(17:54):
And it's like as much as I wouldlove, you know, to have like the
little fruit fruit girl stuff.
It was just like that wasn'tLenny, and I can't, I don't know
if it'll be this next girl, butum, I have a couple things, and
really I love to wait.
What I found like in parentingis I like to wait until they
(18:15):
tell me what's up, and then I'llspend money on it, right?
So it's like when they showinterest, then to me it makes
more sense to spend moneyinstead of like pipe dreams that
she's gonna want to wear thislittle fru-fru Dolly Parton
dress that she's not gonna wantto wear.
Cause you know, you can lose alot of money just like being
excited and like pre-buyingthings that don't end up even
(18:38):
being used in your house.
So I kind of just try to waituntil a signal or a sign that
that something might be usefulor fun for them and then kind of
move in that direction.
SPEAKER_01 (18:48):
So let's talk a little bit about technology and
AI.
I know that you said you'reusing a doula, but you know, I'm
sure you still go to the officefor visits.
Have you noticed any changes,anything different that's
available now that maybe wasn'tavailable for the first
pregnancy?
SPEAKER_02 (19:03):
You know, not really.
Everything for everything for myvisits has been pretty normal,
pretty straightforward, fromlike the same as the last time.
Um, you know, I think last timethere was more hype around like
the 4D ultrasound thing, maybefour years ago.
This time scary looking photos.
I don't like them.
(19:24):
I didn't get it the first timeand I won't get it now.
Um, but yeah, I mean,everything's just been pretty
much the same.
Honestly, if anything, I feellike I've like done less.
I've seen the doctor or themidwives less.
Like, again, I don't know if I'mjust being like laxadaisical,
but I'm just like, you just tellme when to come in and
everything's normal.
(19:44):
So like, let's just move forwardas normal.
Um, so yeah, like nothing likenew cutting edge.
Maybe if I was in the hospital,it would be different, but I'm
just over at the birth centerwith the crunchy people.
SPEAKER_01 (19:57):
So, of course, baby number two's not here yet.
So I know that you've beencutting back, you've been
working that budget, making surethe debt.
What changes do you think you'regonna have to make after the
baby arrives?
SPEAKER_02 (20:09):
I'm scared.
Um yeah, I mean, I think it'sreally gonna be taking on that
secondary um, you know, cost ofdaycare and cost of school.
We don't know where Lenny'sgonna go to kindergarten.
So that's also a big questionmark for us.
Um, she'll be going intokindergarten in fall of 2026.
So they'll overlap in daycare,you know, probably for like six
(20:32):
to eight months.
Um, and then, you know, it'll beinteresting to see like whether
we choose to go to a privateschool or a school that has
tuition versus a public school.
Um, because obviously that'llthat'll kind of dictate what we
have to do as far as our budgetgoes, right?
So, you know, I'm scared is allI can say.
(20:54):
Um, because you know, having twochildren and and knowing that
we're gonna be, you know,supporting their education for
the next 18 years, both of them,um, is a little bit, a little
bit daunting.
Um so that's probably like thebiggest thing is like we're just
gonna have to really startfocusing in on, you know, if
(21:14):
we're gonna end up choosing forLenny to go to a private school,
we're gonna have to like reallystart saving and cutting back um
to be prepared for fall of 26when we're paying for two full,
full uh school tuitions, um,which will be crazy.
I know you did it.
Good for you.
SPEAKER_01 (21:34):
So let's talk about, you know, baby number two,
definitely more food, moreeverything.
You know, what other things haveyou had to make adjustments or
will you have to makeadjustments for simply because
it's a second child?
You know, some people aredriving little cars and then
they jump into the minivan.
I don't see you as the minivan.
I see you as the good time van,but not just I'm the good time
(21:54):
van.
Put the lights in the ceiling.
But not necessarily the minivan.
Are there other types ofadjustments that you're having
to make in order to make roomfor baby number two?
SPEAKER_02 (22:03):
Yeah, so right now um we're still in the same house
we were in as last time, whichis a two-bedroom, two-bath.
Um, and you know, and we'vereally come to accept that
that's the house we're gonnahave to kind of be in for a
while.
We have a good interest rate onit, our mortgage is low, you
know, and it's in an area thatwe like to be in.
(22:23):
We have a lot of friends in thearea.
So, you know, we've kind ofaccepted that.
But with that means we've had tomake adjustments to, you know,
Lenny's room, which is now gonnabe the girls' room.
So we've kind of had to likemake some modifications.
Um, we we did get a bunk bed forthem, which obviously the baby
won't use, but we neededsomething to like save space in
(22:43):
the room, but also still keepthe amount of you know, sleep
surfaces, because we do like tohave people, you know, come from
out of town and stay with usoccasionally and things like
that.
So figuring out how to make thatspace work for two children and
not just two children, but twochildren that are in very
different developmental stages,right?
So having an area where the babycan have all of their changing
(23:06):
table and diapers and crib, butalso having an area where Lenny
can have all of her toys andeverything like that.
So we've had to do that, andactually just this week we've
been kind of texting about myhusband and I have been texting
about, we live together.
I don't know why I'm talkingabout we texting about it, but
we weren't just texting aboutit.
Um, about, you know, potentiallyhaving to expand our house.
(23:27):
We love our house, and again,the interest rate is so low.
We're an under 3% interest rate.
So it's just like really hard toconsider selling our house
because no matter what six orseven percent.
Right, exactly.
Like, you know, just end uppaying a lot more, our mortgage
would be higher and the interestrate would be higher.
So trying to figure out waysthat we could make that house
(23:49):
work for us for longer term.
Obviously, in the, you know, inthe first year, it's not as big
of a deal.
But as the girls get bigger,we're gonna kill each other.
I think we might.
So, you know, I think that's ourbiggest kind of future question.
Um, more than cars or anything,is just like, what do we do
about our living space?
(24:10):
Um, you know, how do we how dowe make it work for us?
Do we add on to the house or dowe just bite the bullet and you
know, sell it and buy somethingat a higher interest rate?
Or, you know, do we rent it out?
Just all the different questionsthat you might have about we're
gonna need more space at somepoint, and it's probably gonna
(24:30):
come sooner than we want.
So talking about like expandingand things like that, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (24:35):
Now, having girls, of course, are always more
expensive than boys.
So, how do you think you'regonna handle it financially?
You know, resist the urge towant to have them dressed alike
and having to buy double ofeverything.
SPEAKER_02 (24:48):
I can't resist that urge, actually.
That's an urge I can't resist.
Um, I that's probably gonna bemy biggest challenge.
I think you probably know that.
Um, I want because I match withmy daughter a lot.
Like, we have all 10 pairs ofmatching pajamas.
Like 10.
I mean, girl, and it's likeshe'll be like, you need to wear
(25:09):
your matchy, matchy pajamastonight.
And some nights she's like, I'mnot doing matchy matchy.
But now having two girls, thatmeans I'm gonna need matching
pajamas, and both of them aregonna need matching pajamas.
Um, and yeah, I mean, there'sdefinitely like the urge to just
kit them out for the gods.
(25:30):
I don't know.
I don't know how I'm gonnahandle that, Kim, actually.
That's that's a good questionbecause, like, you know, we're
going to Disney and uh I'm onthe internet all the time being
like matching outfits for all ofus, matching outfits for, you
know, just the three of us.
So the idea of adding a fourthperson in the mix of of that and
just like those specialcelebration, you know, t-shirts
(25:52):
and things like that.
But you know, I'm I I keep itthrifty and I can usually figure
out ways to do it on a dime, doit on a budget.
So make my own Disney t-shirts,like I don't need to order them
from anybody else and you know,and all that type of good stuff.
So, you know, I think we've donewell enough though for ourselves
that if I want to splurge, wecan fit it into the budget.
SPEAKER_01 (26:14):
Yeah, but I definitely think that's got to
be one of the hardest challengesfor moms with two little girls
because it's just soirresistible to dress them alike
and get all the cutesy littlethings for girls.
SPEAKER_02 (26:25):
Well, and you know what's so funny?
Um, our other coworker uh had adaughter a year ago.
She just turned a year.
Can you believe that?
And he gave me a bunch of babyclothes that were hers.
And in the bag, there wasactually a dress, a zero to
three month dress that is thezero to three month version of a
dress that Lenny actuallyalready had.
(26:46):
And you have to believe Iscreamed.
I was like, matching dresses,um, which was perfect.
So uh, you know, God God doesthings, He works, uh, so you
don't have to as hard.
So I do have a couple ofmatching outfits for them
already.
And luckily I have nieces thatare the same age gap, and so
they have a lot of matchingstuff that I'm sure will get
(27:09):
mailed over to us wheneverthey're they're done with them.
SPEAKER_01 (27:12):
So you've you've definitely testified how you've
grown financially.
What's the one thing or what'sthe one habit or skill that
you've picked up now that youwish you knew for baby number
one for Lenny?
SPEAKER_02 (27:26):
Um, you know, I think my biggest regret or wish
would have been to be on thebudgeting journey sooner and be
better at saving sooner.
Um, because I was only able totake two months off with her and
I plan to take more time off umfor this baby.
But yeah, I mean, this time Ihave, you know, my sick and
(27:51):
vacation banked, which I do haveto use all of that um on leave.
But I also started paying intoshort-term disability like a
year ago, so that'll be able tokick in.
And then we've also started asavings fund for that additional
time.
Um, and so that'll mean I'llhave more time with my baby at
home before I have to come backto work, which um, you know,
(28:12):
which I think is like uhprobably the most important
thing to me is just having moretime together.
Um, the first time around waschallenging.
Hopefully this time I know alittle bit more, but I'm sure
it'll have its own challenges.
So just to have a little bitmore dedicated time with the
newborn um without having toworry about the money aspect and
needing to rush back to work isprobably the biggest thing.
(28:33):
So I'm I'm really grateful thatwe we kind of went on the
journey and now I cancomfortably say I can take, you
know, the full extent of my timethat the law allows and I can
pay for it.
SPEAKER_01 (28:45):
Definitely sounds like everything you did was well
worth it.
So, what's the one thing thatyou're looking forward to the
most right now?
Going to Disney, girl.
SPEAKER_02 (28:54):
You know, going to Disney.
Um, yeah, we that was evensomething part of the um part of
the budgeting question, youknow, and I had I had to do some
soul searching about it, but Ijust felt really um after kind
of all the sacrificing that wehad done, I just felt really
strongly that I wanted to bring,you know, our firstborn there to
(29:14):
have the full Disney experience.
And that includes the BibityBobbity Boutique, the crown
level package,$200.
And you know what is even sosweet?
Like all my friends and like ourfamily know we have been on this
journey.
And I actually had two differentfriends who, like, you know, out
of nowhere, basically, when Iwas kind of like talking about
(29:34):
whether I felt like we couldafford it or not to go to
Disney, they they both gave us$100 to cover the cost of the
bibbity bobbity boutique, youknow.
And and I think that that'sthere's also something to say
about that.
I think sometimes when you're ona budgeting journey, you can
feel like ashamed, like that youhave to say no to things or that
you have to like be like, no,like I don't know if I can do
(29:54):
this because of the money.
But it actually felt reallyfreeing for me to be honest with
everybody and be like, yeah, I.
Just like I that's not in thebudget.
SPEAKER_01 (30:02):
Love it when we always talk about budget.
I told Chad that one of thesedays we're gonna get a little
highlighted sign, and every timemy guest mentions the word
budget, because I don't evenhave to say it.
All my guests know it.
Yeah, you know, we're gonnaflash the little budget sign and
go.
SPEAKER_02 (30:16):
Yeah, but it's like you also find that like people
who care about you and see thatyou're working really hard
towards your goals and liketowards expanding your family or
whatever your goal is, you know,to to they they want to support
you and they want to see youthrive and ooh, girl, make me
cry actually.
But yeah, it's because I waslike, I don't know if we can go.
It's just like it's like we can,but it's like, is it a wise
(30:38):
choice?
And then, you know, spoke with abunch of friends and they're
like, you've worked so hard,like you deserve it.
And then just to have otherpeople just like recognize that
and and also want the same thingfor my daughter that I want,
which is just have this magicallike princess experience, you
know, before her little sisteris born.
It, you know, it makes you feellike it's all just like worth
it, and you know, and I joke,but like, you know, that God is
(31:01):
really has a plan and you know,but you have to work with him.
You can't work against him, youknow.
And I think that, yeah, I thinkI used to hate the word budget,
and I actually love it now.
Yeah, we talk about budget allthe time.
I know.
It's actually like I love it.
I love just going into thebudget and being like, can I buy
something?
And like being like, Yep, I can.
We have the money for it, andnot having to like have that
(31:23):
fear, you know, of like whetherI I want something or not, and
knowing if I can do it or not.
It's like the answer is alwaysclear.
SPEAKER_01 (31:31):
So, you know, right now Betty still has the young
kids and they're not asexpensive.
No, girl, I'm scared.
So, of course, you know, we'regonna continue to have you come
back on this journey, you know,when you have the two of them in
daycare, and as they grow older,and when you have to buy two
cars, you know, we'll justfollow it through and see how
much she smiles about thosebudgets.
(31:51):
But I'm so happy for you andEric.
I am so glad that it's workingout exactly the way you want to.
And so I guess maybe this willbe it for you until after baby
number two comes along.
But we'll definitely have youback.
SPEAKER_02 (32:04):
Look, the next one will be my mommy makeover.
That'll be the next mommymakeover.
Mommy makeover, that's the nextbig budgeting item.
unknown (32:12):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (32:13):
All right.
Well, that's it for today'sepisode.
SPEAKER_00 (32:19):
It's time for blueprint building blocks.
Small changes that lead to bigfinancial wins.
Let's stack up for success.
SPEAKER_01 (32:28):
Adjust your budget early.
Plan ahead for increased costs,whether it's diapers, child
care, or medical expenses.
Reuse and repurpose.
Don't assume you need to buyeverything new.
Check out what can be reusedfrom baby number one because it
may be really helpful for babynumber two.
Plan for inflation.
Keep an eye on rising costs andlook for bulk deals and
(32:51):
discounts or essentials.
And then update your financialplan.
A second child means revisitingyour emergency fund, insurance
policies, and savings goals.
SPEAKER_00 (33:01):
That's a wrap on today's Blueprint Building
Blocks.
Stay on track with yourfinancial journey.
Subscribe to the Money MattersPodcast, and visit
neighborsfcu.org slash financialwellness for more tools to help
you build a strong financialfuture.
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