September 16, 2025 • 12 mins
Let's dive into the grief and fear that can surface when we try to outgrow old identities tied to survival and struggle - especially around money and success. I’ll help you explore why you might feel stuck or resistant even when you logically want to thrive, and guide you through important questions and practical mindset shifts.
You’ll learn how to release old patterns, embrace new identities, and move toward unstoppable financial and emotional growth. If you’re ready to stop holding back and truly step into your next level, this episode is for you!
Cashflow Calculator: https://aimeecerka.com/cashflow
For the full transcript and all links mentioned, see the blog post: https://aimeecerka.com/224
Ready To Take Action: https://aimeecerka.com/podcastlinks
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Have you ever noticed at the momentthat you start to succeed, grow ? You
(00:03):
kind of end up in the same place again.
In this episode, we're gonna talkabout how to identify and process.
There's a grief thatshows up in your identity.
Release, the fear and how to feelsafe becoming someone who truly
thrives without holding back.
This episode is gonna be perfect foryou if you feel like you're stuck.
(00:24):
And a survival or struggling mindset,even though you know you're capable of
more, you notice resistance or fear.
You're ready to outgrow the oldyou and step into a version of
yourself that thrives financially,emotionally, and in life.
So let's get to it.
(00:51):
This is Money Simplified, thepodcast where I help female
entrepreneurs go from stress andstruggle to unstoppable with money.
Money is more than just budgetingand p and Ls, and we're gonna
take you through all of it here.
We blend proven financial strategywith mindset work and energetic
alignment, so you can create unstop.
Finances, build an unstoppable businessand truly enjoy your unstoppable life.
(01:13):
It's time to take my wisdom andmy expertise to help you simplify
money and go beyond the numbers.
I'm your host, Aimee Cerka.
Welcome.
I'm so glad you're here.
Welcome back to Money Simplified.
I'm your host, Aimee Cerka.
Today we're talking about somethingthat often goes unnoticed and unspoken.
(01:34):
There's a grief, a fear, and uncertaintythat shows up and comes up when you
outgrow the old version of yourself.
Whether we're talking about money.
Business or life.
Here's the thing though, we don'teven realize half the time that
we have tied our identity to this.
(01:56):
Survival mode to this struggle, to this.
Staying small, it almost becomes likea badge of honor, or it just feels
like this is the theme for your life.
Okay?
And this identity that you're holdingonto can keep you stuck, even if you're
(02:16):
like, logically, I'm ready for this.
I'm ready for more.
I'm ready.
To do this thing.
I'm ready to have this business.
I'm ready to have the audience.
I'm ready to have the attention.
I'm ready to have the sales,I'm ready to have the clients.
You can logically say those things,but not actually embody it, and that's
(02:38):
where we can get stuck in the oldidentity or holding on to old identities.
Okay.
Let's give a couple examples.
So maybe.
You have this need to have your parentslove you, that it was a struggle.
And before we get any farther, this isnot about bashing anybody's parents.
(03:00):
Like it's what you do with those things.
And then the other part of that isit's not what actually happened.
It's your perception.
Your perception is reality for you.
So what are you gonnado with the perception?
Okay, not about PA passing off guilt, or,I'm sorry, not about passing off blame.
We're looking at this, havingthe information to move forward.
(03:23):
Okay?
So maybe you didn't feel like you wereloved or worthy of feeling loved or
worthy of attention growing up fromyour parents, but you needed them
financially and because you needed themfinancially, you received attention.
So now we have this identity that Ican't be self-sufficient financially
(03:48):
because what does my relationship looklike if I don't need my spouse for money?
Maybe it's not your spouse, maybe it'syour parents, whatever it might be.
Maybe we made choices that.
We don't necessarily feelare the right choices.
We made investments in programsand we're hiding the finances.
(04:11):
We're hiding those expenses.
We're hiding that debt from our spouse.
They don't know.
I don't want to tell 'em.
Why don't we wanna tell them?
Because we were wrong.
We feel like we failed.
Where does that story,that identity come from?
Often our childhood.
Is it logical?
Not really.
(04:33):
So I've got a couplequestions for you here.
If you're like, oh crap,
that could be you, andthere's so many more.
We're gonna put together a liveworkshop, um, here probably next month.
So we're gonna be able todive into some of these.
I've also got a resource for you hereat the end that's like, Hey, I want
(04:54):
help now because who wants to wait?
So grab a pen and paper.
This is probably also somethingto write down to come back to.
So if you succeed, who orwhat do you fear you'll lose?
(05:16):
What will you lose if you succeed?
I,
I spent some time thinking on that.
The second question I want you toreflect on is who are you becoming?
Do you?
Is there shame?
Is there guilt?
Does it feel wrong with theperson that you want to become?
(05:36):
Again, logically, you know, thisis what you want, but we're not
talking about a logical aspect here.
If your parents said, rich people arebad growing up, they gave off that vibe.
We've got media and all those on a lot ofother avenues that perpetrate that, right?
But if you feel like you'regonna become air quotes bad
(05:56):
person, if you're successful.
And the way that you wanna be successful,we've gotta shift that identity.
Okay.
This is a deeper concept, but itreally felt like I was supposed
to cover it on the podcast today.
So we're gonna do this.
I want you to know though therealization that could be showing up
(06:17):
for you right now and the grief thatcan show up with knowing that you've
self-sabotaged yourself for years.
And years.
That can be hard.
And if you are feeling that, Iwant you to know you're not alone.
It's normal.
You're okay.
It's a necessary part of growth.
(06:38):
If you hadn't had all the experiencesthat you've had up until this point,
you would not be where you're at now.
And the beautiful thing thatwith these identities, you
can try on something new now.
The way that I see these is it.
It's a role that you're playing.
Okay?
(06:58):
So you've stepped into this role,and because it's a role, you can
choose to step into a different role.
I'm gonna do a whole series on this.
I think it's gonna be ready soon, butyou can step into a different role.
Don't beat yourself up.
No guilt, no shame.
That doesn't do us any good.
Just choose something different, okay?
(07:20):
And we're gonna make the choice now.
You don't have to choosethe opposite though.
Okay.
So if you felt like you had tostruggle, if you felt like you had
to have, we'll stick with that.
If you felt like it had to bea struggle for you, that things
couldn't come easy, you don't haveto say, oh, it's gonna be easy.
Now
(07:41):
that's a big jump.
What if for now we just tried on?
It doesn't have to be a struggle.
Small steps, new identity.
Make the choice now that things can bedifferent, that you don't have to have
the fear when we make those choices.
Again, this is like the logical part.
We're anchoring in beliefs and then we'lldo, um, I highly recommend nervous sense.
(08:07):
I highly recommend nervoussystem regulation work.
You know, EFT tapping breath work, um,are the two main ones that I work with.
I know there's more modalitiesout there or more tools out there.
Because again, we're not necessarilyoperating from the logical
perspective, so we can't fixthis at just the logical level.
Okay?
(08:28):
Here's the key.
Make the choice now, right?
Choose it now.
It can change.
Now make the choice in themoment that it changes, but that
doesn't mean that we don't like.
It's always gonna be great.
And if you fall bandwagon again,I want you to choose again.
Just choose yourself again.
(08:48):
Choose the version ofyou that you wanna be.
Don't beat yourself up.
We're gonna have compassion'cause we're on a journey, right?
Choose yourself, and if you'vegotta choose the new identity
every 10 minutes, then do it.
And then maybe it'll be 20 minutes,and then maybe it'll be an hour,
and then maybe it'll be everycouple days, we're going to build
(09:10):
that muscle until it's the norm.
If you're thinking, okay, maybe I dohave money patterns, it feels like
it's always been a struggle for me.
And if you've listened, if you'vebeen around for a while and you know
my story, you know that was mine.
It is part of the tagline hereof what I do to help you go from
(09:34):
struggle to untoppable, but itdoesn't have to be a struggle anymore.
But I did hold onto that identityfor a long time, and there's
new areas that I uncover it.
It's continuing work, but the keyis not beating yourself up over it.
So if you have this thing that came tomind, this challenge that's going on
(09:54):
in your business, in your finances, inyour relationships, in your health, you
thought about that one, your health,you just, that doesn't work for me.
I don't lose weight like thatdoesn't come easy for me.
Those things are patterns.
That might be keepingyou in survival mode.
(10:14):
So if you're doing all the right things,all the step-by-step that they're
telling you, you've got the mindsetwork, you've done the things and it's
not working, then I've got a resource foryou just released a money clarity audit.
What this is, is it's asimple form that you complete.
I record a personalizedvideo audit for you.
(10:36):
We break down financial habits, patternsand blocks show you exactly where you can
take action to move past that money block
think of it almost like a mini coachingsession just for you, helping you
move past fear, guilt, or old survivalhabits so you can finally feel confident
and aligned in your finances and yourbusiness and that growth that you deserve.
(11:00):
So go to Aimee Cerka.com/clarityto get your money Clarity audit.
It's time that you step into theversion of yourself that thrive.
Remember, you're not behind, you're notbroken, and you're definitely not alone.
You're building somethingreal and that takes courage.
So keep going.
You're doing better than you think.
We're doing this the unstoppable way.
(11:22):
We'll see you next time.
Thank you so much forlistening to Money Simplified.
My favorite place tohang out is on Instagram.
You can find me at Aimee Cerka to catchall the behind the scenes of my stories.
Send me a message to share yourbiggest takeaway or just to say hi.
I love hearing from podcast list.
Nurse, when you're ready to take actionon your mindset, your money, or the
(11:44):
systems behind it all, I'm here for you.
Whether you're snagging a free resource,exploring a mini course, diving into the
fundamentals with Money Mastery Academy,getting in-depth support inside the
unstoppable experience, or schedulinga complimentary bookkeeping consult to
finally get hands on help with your books.
Your next step is waiting for you, AimeeCerka.com/podcast links has all the
(12:08):
information, and of course, that link ishanging out in the show notes for you.
We'll see you next time.
Have you ever noticed at the momentthat you start to succeed, grow ? You
(00:03):
kind of end up in the same place again.
In this episode, we're gonna talkabout how to identify and process.
There's a grief thatshows up in your identity.
Release, the fear and how to feelsafe becoming someone who truly
thrives without holding back.
This episode is gonna be perfect foryou if you feel like you're stuck.
(00:24):
And a survival or struggling mindset,even though you know you're capable of
more, you notice resistance or fear.
You're ready to outgrow the oldyou and step into a version of
yourself that thrives financially,emotionally, and in life.
So let's get to it.
(00:51):
This is Money Simplified, thepodcast where I help female
entrepreneurs go from stress andstruggle to unstoppable with money.
Money is more than just budgetingand p and Ls, and we're gonna
take you through all of it here.
We blend proven financial strategywith mindset work and energetic
alignment, so you can create unstop.
Finances, build an unstoppable businessand truly enjoy your unstoppable life.
(01:13):
It's time to take my wisdom andmy expertise to help you simplify
money and go beyond the numbers.
I'm your host, Aimee Cerka.
Welcome.
I'm so glad you're here.
Welcome back to Money Simplified.
I'm your host, Aimee Cerka.
Today we're talking about somethingthat often goes unnoticed and unspoken.
(01:34):
There's a grief, a fear, and uncertaintythat shows up and comes up when you
outgrow the old version of yourself.
Whether we're talking about money.
Business or life.
Here's the thing though, we don'teven realize half the time that
we have tied our identity to this.
(01:56):
Survival mode to this struggle, to this.
Staying small, it almost becomes likea badge of honor, or it just feels
like this is the theme for your life.
Okay?
And this identity that you're holdingonto can keep you stuck, even if you're
(02:16):
like, logically, I'm ready for this.
I'm ready for more.
I'm ready.
To do this thing.
I'm ready to have this business.
I'm ready to have the audience.
I'm ready to have the attention.
I'm ready to have the sales,I'm ready to have the clients.
You can logically say those things,but not actually embody it, and that's
(02:38):
where we can get stuck in the oldidentity or holding on to old identities.
Okay.
Let's give a couple examples.
So maybe.
You have this need to have your parentslove you, that it was a struggle.
And before we get any farther, this isnot about bashing anybody's parents.
(03:00):
Like it's what you do with those things.
And then the other part of that isit's not what actually happened.
It's your perception.
Your perception is reality for you.
So what are you gonnado with the perception?
Okay, not about PA passing off guilt, or,I'm sorry, not about passing off blame.
We're looking at this, havingthe information to move forward.
(03:23):
Okay?
So maybe you didn't feel like you wereloved or worthy of feeling loved or
worthy of attention growing up fromyour parents, but you needed them
financially and because you needed themfinancially, you received attention.
So now we have this identity that Ican't be self-sufficient financially
(03:48):
because what does my relationship looklike if I don't need my spouse for money?
Maybe it's not your spouse, maybe it'syour parents, whatever it might be.
Maybe we made choices that.
We don't necessarily feelare the right choices.
We made investments in programsand we're hiding the finances.
(04:11):
We're hiding those expenses.
We're hiding that debt from our spouse.
They don't know.
I don't want to tell 'em.
Why don't we wanna tell them?
Because we were wrong.
We feel like we failed.
Where does that story,that identity come from?
Often our childhood.
Is it logical?
Not really.
(04:33):
So I've got a couplequestions for you here.
If you're like, oh crap,
that could be you, andthere's so many more.
We're gonna put together a liveworkshop, um, here probably next month.
So we're gonna be able todive into some of these.
I've also got a resource for you hereat the end that's like, Hey, I want
(04:54):
help now because who wants to wait?
So grab a pen and paper.
This is probably also somethingto write down to come back to.
So if you succeed, who orwhat do you fear you'll lose?
(05:16):
What will you lose if you succeed?
I,
I spent some time thinking on that.
The second question I want you toreflect on is who are you becoming?
Do you?
Is there shame?
Is there guilt?
Does it feel wrong with theperson that you want to become?
(05:36):
Again, logically, you know, thisis what you want, but we're not
talking about a logical aspect here.
If your parents said, rich people arebad growing up, they gave off that vibe.
We've got media and all those on a lot ofother avenues that perpetrate that, right?
But if you feel like you'regonna become air quotes bad
(05:56):
person, if you're successful.
And the way that you wanna be successful,we've gotta shift that identity.
Okay.
This is a deeper concept, but itreally felt like I was supposed
to cover it on the podcast today.
So we're gonna do this.
I want you to know though therealization that could be showing up
(06:17):
for you right now and the grief thatcan show up with knowing that you've
self-sabotaged yourself for years.
And years.
That can be hard.
And if you are feeling that, Iwant you to know you're not alone.
It's normal.
You're okay.
It's a necessary part of growth.
(06:38):
If you hadn't had all the experiencesthat you've had up until this point,
you would not be where you're at now.
And the beautiful thing thatwith these identities, you
can try on something new now.
The way that I see these is it.
It's a role that you're playing.
Okay?
(06:58):
So you've stepped into this role,and because it's a role, you can
choose to step into a different role.
I'm gonna do a whole series on this.
I think it's gonna be ready soon, butyou can step into a different role.
Don't beat yourself up.
No guilt, no shame.
That doesn't do us any good.
Just choose something different, okay?
(07:20):
And we're gonna make the choice now.
You don't have to choosethe opposite though.
Okay.
So if you felt like you had tostruggle, if you felt like you had
to have, we'll stick with that.
If you felt like it had to bea struggle for you, that things
couldn't come easy, you don't haveto say, oh, it's gonna be easy.
Now
(07:41):
that's a big jump.
What if for now we just tried on?
It doesn't have to be a struggle.
Small steps, new identity.
Make the choice now that things can bedifferent, that you don't have to have
the fear when we make those choices.
Again, this is like the logical part.
We're anchoring in beliefs and then we'lldo, um, I highly recommend nervous sense.
(08:07):
I highly recommend nervoussystem regulation work.
You know, EFT tapping breath work, um,are the two main ones that I work with.
I know there's more modalitiesout there or more tools out there.
Because again, we're not necessarilyoperating from the logical
perspective, so we can't fixthis at just the logical level.
Okay?
(08:28):
Here's the key.
Make the choice now, right?
Choose it now.
It can change.
Now make the choice in themoment that it changes, but that
doesn't mean that we don't like.
It's always gonna be great.
And if you fall bandwagon again,I want you to choose again.
Just choose yourself again.
(08:48):
Choose the version ofyou that you wanna be.
Don't beat yourself up.
We're gonna have compassion'cause we're on a journey, right?
Choose yourself, and if you'vegotta choose the new identity
every 10 minutes, then do it.
And then maybe it'll be 20 minutes,and then maybe it'll be an hour,
and then maybe it'll be everycouple days, we're going to build
(09:10):
that muscle until it's the norm.
If you're thinking, okay, maybe I dohave money patterns, it feels like
it's always been a struggle for me.
And if you've listened, if you'vebeen around for a while and you know
my story, you know that was mine.
It is part of the tagline hereof what I do to help you go from
(09:34):
struggle to untoppable, but itdoesn't have to be a struggle anymore.
But I did hold onto that identityfor a long time, and there's
new areas that I uncover it.
It's continuing work, but the keyis not beating yourself up over it.
So if you have this thing that came tomind, this challenge that's going on
(09:54):
in your business, in your finances, inyour relationships, in your health, you
thought about that one, your health,you just, that doesn't work for me.
I don't lose weight like thatdoesn't come easy for me.
Those things are patterns.
That might be keepingyou in survival mode.
(10:14):
So if you're doing all the right things,all the step-by-step that they're
telling you, you've got the mindsetwork, you've done the things and it's
not working, then I've got a resource foryou just released a money clarity audit.
What this is, is it's asimple form that you complete.
I record a personalizedvideo audit for you.
(10:36):
We break down financial habits, patternsand blocks show you exactly where you can
take action to move past that money block
think of it almost like a mini coachingsession just for you, helping you
move past fear, guilt, or old survivalhabits so you can finally feel confident
and aligned in your finances and yourbusiness and that growth that you deserve.
(11:00):
So go to Aimee Cerka.com/clarityto get your money Clarity audit.
It's time that you step into theversion of yourself that thrive.
Remember, you're not behind, you're notbroken, and you're definitely not alone.
You're building somethingreal and that takes courage.
So keep going.
You're doing better than you think.
We're doing this the unstoppable way.
(11:22):
We'll see you next time.
Thank you so much forlistening to Money Simplified.
My favorite place tohang out is on Instagram.
You can find me at Aimee Cerka to catchall the behind the scenes of my stories.
Send me a message to share yourbiggest takeaway or just to say hi.
I love hearing from podcast list.
Nurse, when you're ready to take actionon your mindset, your money, or the
(11:44):
systems behind it all, I'm here for you.
Whether you're snagging a free resource,exploring a mini course, diving into the
fundamentals with Money Mastery Academy,getting in-depth support inside the
unstoppable experience, or schedulinga complimentary bookkeeping consult to
finally get hands on help with your books.
Your next step is waiting for you, AimeeCerka.com/podcast links has all the
(12:08):
information, and of course, that link ishanging out in the show notes for you.
We'll see you next time.
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