Freaky (2020)

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Come one and all to the following segment of enjoyment
and an escape from reality. But beware the show you
are about to bear witness to will not hold back
when it comes to spoilers, language, and things not.

Speaker 2 (00:19):
Appropriate for work or children.

Speaker 1 (00:21):
If you continue on, we hope that you laugh at
the banter, that you are thrilled by the topic of discussion,
and marvel at the host's dedication to their craft, because
you can only get that type of treatment here at
Monster Madness.

Speaker 2 (00:34):
You have been warned, I'll take months ago. Hey, no, no, no,
Come sit down, eat like a family for a change.

Speaker 3 (00:42):
Family, right?

Speaker 2 (00:51):
See? Isn't this nice? Feels like we hardly ever do
this anymore since your dad.

Speaker 4 (00:57):
So, Millie, do you.

Speaker 3 (00:59):
Have a dear for homecoming tomorrow? I'm not. I'm not
good going.

Speaker 2 (01:03):
She has a date with me. We're going to see
Wicked at the Anus Theater.

Speaker 4 (01:08):
Anna's wow, what nothing?

Speaker 3 (01:14):
It just seems a little weird to miss out on
a seminal high school experience to go see shit regional
theater with your mom. Oh, I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 (01:22):
Aren't you supposed to discourage her from things like that?
You know, it's just underage drinking and God, knows what
else that can end in tragedy.

Speaker 3 (01:32):
Her name is still ending in tragedy.

Speaker 2 (01:38):
Hi, Hello, and welcome to this week's episode of Monster Madness,
a podcast dedicated to all sorts of creatures, features and beyond.
I'm Erica and joined with me as a man who
I truly wish I could see body swap with an
eighteen year old girl in high school. My beautiful, gorgeous
co host Matthew, how are you?

Speaker 3 (01:54):
I'm good, and I'm just thinking about having some terrific
eighteen year old tits.

Speaker 2 (01:59):
I mean, but what if you're like a super flat
chested eighteen.

Speaker 3 (02:01):
Year old kill myself there.

Speaker 2 (02:04):
It is like you're the Laney Bogs of eighteen year olds,
but before she got chees all that, Like, you're like
a weird little my hair is my home in the
shelter type girl.

Speaker 3 (02:17):
It's not, but it's getting there. Yeah, I mean, I
don't know. Yeah, I don't know. If I was a
flat chested eighteen year old that I'd switched swatched bodies with,
I don't think I'd be very happy. But also, like,
why did I end up in the body of an
eighteen year old female? If I continue that the sentence,
I might end up on an FBI list regardless of

(02:38):
where I was going.

Speaker 2 (02:40):
I know you're probably already on one.

Speaker 3 (02:42):
I've seen two girls.

Speaker 2 (02:42):
One cup that's you know that came out recently, that
that was fake.

Speaker 3 (02:47):
Yeah, that's still was absolutely horrifying to watch. Like the
texture of what they were eating.

Speaker 2 (02:54):
I don't want to remember it. I don't want to remember, even.

Speaker 3 (02:57):
Though you know it's fake and it's just chocolate moose.

Speaker 2 (02:59):
Yeah, just then it ruins chocolate moose for me, and
I like, moose?

Speaker 3 (03:03):
Are you a fuck a moose? Sorry?

Speaker 2 (03:06):
A moose?

Speaker 3 (03:07):
Have you seen super Troopers too? No? Okay, they just
talked about fucking a moose at one point.

Speaker 2 (03:13):
I had a friend who got chased by a moose once.

Speaker 3 (03:15):
Not what I thought you were gonna say. I have
a friend who fucked a moose one time. He climbed
up on a l adder and just gave it do it.

Speaker 2 (03:24):
I like how we're assuming my friend's Canadian, not Alaskan,
which she was is she doesn't live there anymore.

Speaker 3 (03:31):
Don't they sound the same? I used to watch SLEDINEX
on MTV, but I don't really recall what they sounded
like other than fucking dumb not.

Speaker 2 (03:39):
She didn't have.

Speaker 3 (03:40):
That is not a statement about their accents. That is
the statement about the intellect level of the people on
the show.

Speaker 2 (03:47):
No, I literally have watched a lot of cops out
of Alaska, like you know, they're a special breed or something.

Speaker 3 (03:54):
For sure. Oh no, for sure.

Speaker 2 (03:56):
Not to deter our Alaskan listeners, but there's not much
to do. They're in certain spots, and that's where the
cops went.

Speaker 3 (04:03):
They had a couple of decent breweries there. I'll give
them that.

Speaker 2 (04:06):
Have you ever been to a list.

Speaker 3 (04:07):
No, but I knew I knew a guy who knew
a guy, then I would he would mail me beer.

Speaker 2 (04:12):
I know a guy who knows a guy.

Speaker 3 (04:14):
Friend of a friend, but I didn't really care for him,
but he would mail me beer. So sometimes he keep
those people at arms.

Speaker 2 (04:18):
Like you're not wrong at all. Okay, So real talk,
if you do have if you ever switch bodies with
a female of age female and of age consenting female
trying to word.

Speaker 3 (04:33):
The stouth, But if it's my body, whether I originated
in that body or not, consent is no longer an
issue because it's me.

Speaker 2 (04:41):
Oh loophole, So what is the first thing you're doing.

Speaker 3 (04:45):
Finding the biggest bill, don't going right into my asshole.
I don't know. That was the most extreme thing that
I could think of.

Speaker 2 (04:52):
God, that just turned to requiem for a dreamy.

Speaker 3 (04:56):
It's honestly, it's probably just playing with my boobs, and
then at some point in the day I am going
to flick the bean like me and John Green. There's
just no way around it. I want to know what
that's like. Probably that night I'm gonna go out drinking
and I'm not gonna pay for a goddamn thing. I
would be a super huge horror for the entire time

(05:18):
because I hold the power. I know that as a
female and as a male, I know that I have
absolutely no power in situations because we're big dumb idiots.

Speaker 2 (05:29):
I mean, yeah, yes, colossal dumb idiots. Absolutely Well, you know,
word to the wise, it's, you know, a marathon, not
a sprint, and that's awesome.

Speaker 3 (05:40):
Well, I don't know how much time I have in
that body.

Speaker 2 (05:43):
Uh, if we're basing it off of freaky timelines, twenty
four hours.

Speaker 3 (05:47):
That's what I'm saying. I have twenty four hours to
play with my boobs. Just pound out some easy ones
and get my body back unless it's awesome. But I
have a feeling I don't want to go back to
being eighteen year olds.

Speaker 2 (05:59):
Eighteen years I had say eight Okay, you could be
what you could just be a attractive female of age.
She doesn't have to be eighteen fair enough.

Speaker 3 (06:10):
I mean, there's there's still just a lot of other questions,
like am I trying to save my own life? I
can even back into my body. This is just like
weird happened stance, in which I've now ended up in
a body of a female, and this is just how
I live the rest of my life, just being smoking hot,
chugging cock.

Speaker 2 (06:26):
Okay, first of all, I was going to give you
three points for using happenstance for a vocal word, but rugging.

Speaker 3 (06:34):
Cock, it's smarts with the term chug and cock.

Speaker 2 (06:38):
Twitt time gross gross gross. You're welcome, I think, But
I here's the thing. I think that your answer is
very similar. I think every single person would state that absolutely.

Speaker 3 (06:54):
And I feel like we've had this discussion at some point.

Speaker 2 (06:57):
When we recorded this. The first time we had the
same disc I know, I.

Speaker 3 (07:00):
Didn't know if you wanted to point out the fact
that I lost the audio for the first time around,
and we're redoing it or not. But I guess all
the cards around the table now, dickhead, Yeah, I know
that you would instantly go to poundtown.

Speaker 2 (07:13):
Yeah, like I wouldn't leave the house. I mean probably
go to reach for the door handle and pass.

Speaker 3 (07:20):
Out because it just I do remember suggesting you get
yourself a lot of electric lights as you're drinking gatorade.
Right now, you're just really gearing up to a five
knuckle shuffle.

Speaker 2 (07:33):
That's disgusting. You know how I feel about noseplay.

Speaker 3 (07:40):
Fucking itch. Didn't let me get in there scratch it.
I tried, and you yelled at me. Okay, go ahead, no,
you're We're good now. I just want to be I
just went the direct. How many mustaches in there? I'm
a mess?

Speaker 2 (07:57):
You really are?

Speaker 3 (07:58):
Fine? Okay, fine, I need to trim the upper mustache
hairs because they start to poke in my nose at
some point and then it's just tickle tone.

Speaker 2 (08:07):
See, if I switch bodies with.

Speaker 3 (08:09):
A man, I would learn that if you switch bodies
with the man, would you ask someone to kick you
in the balls? So you know what it felt like like?
That's I was like, well, someone knocked me up so
nine months I can experience the miracles of childbirth.

Speaker 2 (08:22):
So I don't want to do that.

Speaker 3 (08:24):
No, I know I don't want to do that. I
just I mean, I guess in theory, I could just
get the thing that simulates the pain.

Speaker 2 (08:29):
I want to do that to you so bad.

Speaker 3 (08:31):
Why you just said earlier today you're never mean to me,
and now you want to zap my uterus.

Speaker 2 (08:36):
That's not being mean to you. That's literally showing you
how to be more empathetic to females in your life.

Speaker 3 (08:43):
Are you insinuating that I'm not empathetic.

Speaker 2 (08:45):
No, I'm just saying everybody could be more empathetic.

Speaker 3 (08:48):
This would ass that both directions. But I don't disagree
with what you're saying.

Speaker 2 (08:53):
I think I'm very empathetic to all your plates? What
plate have I never been where I was like buck up? Fucko?
Like when have I ever been like take your balls
out of your back pocket and you know, grow up.

Speaker 3 (09:08):
I feel like you're projecting right now things that you
wish you could say to me on a daily basis,
and you're just shrouding them in an illusion of goofiness.

Speaker 2 (09:18):
You can find monster madness on all your favorite podcasts
and play social media. It's like to think that that nature.
Matt does stream video games and drum sessions from time
to time, so you can check that out on our
Twitch channel. If you'd like to support our show, you
could do so in many different ways. Buy merch, donate
to the show, leaving a review five stars go a
long way, and we will read it on the show.

(09:38):
If you do it, all links will be posted in
our show notes. So, Matt, other than being a little bitch,
you got anything, case.

Speaker 3 (09:48):
Of point, You're mean to me right now.

Speaker 2 (09:51):
I don't think being honest with you is being mean.

Speaker 3 (09:55):
You told me to point out a time is five
for five pm C standard time, October tenth, twenty twenty four.
You said I was a little bitch.

Speaker 2 (10:13):
Oh that's so good, that's.

Speaker 3 (10:20):
Yeah good. Yeah, I mean I had nothing trying to
stream more. I'm sure by the time this comes out,
I will have done a drum stream. I gotta set
my shit up. I have to dust my basement things.
Life is a mess, it really is. I just we
had baby chickens downstairs and I dusted a little bit,
and I need to finish dusting.

Speaker 2 (10:35):
How the chick he's doing I.

Speaker 3 (10:36):
Mean four of them died rip. Yeah, one got stuck
outside the coop. I noticed it in the lawn today.
It's alive. It just was confused on how to get
back in the fence, so I let the other ones out,
hoping that they would help her get back in.

Speaker 2 (10:50):
Why would the other four die?

Speaker 3 (10:52):
Uh? Nature? It was like while we were integrating them
in with the rest, so they could have got too
cold at night. I mean, they had food and water
and all that shit. So it's is what it is.

Speaker 2 (11:05):
Well, this episode is dedicated to the lost lives of
those four chicken, the Stein family Chicken Massacre.

Speaker 3 (11:12):
Can you please play that one song that's always on
the ASPC A commercials Sarah McLaughlin. Nope, that's Vitamin C.
But yes, Sarah McLachlin, or the Vitamin C song Great Gratuation.
So it's a real sad, fucking one.

Speaker 2 (11:25):
I mean it's played like well, I actually don't think not. Yeah,
they don't play that shit anymore. I think like our
generation was the last one.

Speaker 3 (11:34):
Probably. I'm trying to think of what high schoolers I
know right now that could answer this question, but they're
all they're all too young. That sentence sounds really bad.
They're my friend's children. Like Dylan's son is a freshman. Uh,
one of the Josh's kids is a sophomore. So it's like,

(11:55):
I don't know anyone who's seen Oh, Friend of the Show,
Seth's son seen of this year almost certain if he's
not a senior or a junior. I really know this too.
I know he's listening.

Speaker 2 (12:05):
So Friend of the Show, Seth, please let us know. Yep,
dedicated listener, this show is also for you.

Speaker 3 (12:11):
It really is. And then in six weeks I'll get
a text with an answer and I'm like, well, I
don't know what you're talking about, Seth, we recorded this song.
Why don't we think we recorded it this lunar cycle? Uh.

Speaker 2 (12:24):
Actually every episode is dedicated to Friend of the Show,
Seth because Friend of the Show Seth is a dedicated listener.

Speaker 3 (12:29):
Well, every episode is dedicated to every episode of every
dedicated listener that we have. That's an episode of an
episode of a dedicated listener.

Speaker 2 (12:35):
Wow, I just got really focused when you start talking.

Speaker 3 (12:38):
Think I had a stroke.

Speaker 2 (12:40):
All right. Then this week on Monster Madness, we cover
twenty twenties Freaky again again.

Speaker 4 (12:50):
He moves through this town unseen like a ghost, and
he kills.

Speaker 3 (12:56):
It will every year.

Speaker 4 (12:59):
The Field Butcher started is ran a tear in nineteen
seventy seven, and it continues to this day.

Speaker 3 (13:06):
A geriatric serial killer. Really don't underestimate a straight white
man's propensity of violence, Isaac.

Speaker 2 (13:13):
I don't care how fucking old they are, and your
story is bullshit, Evan. The butcher killed some kids.

Speaker 3 (13:18):
Like in the nineties, and then twenty years ago he disappeared.
The rest is just the local folklore. Yeah, but then
the butcher like also killed a bunch of kids up
prom way.

Speaker 2 (13:25):
Back when not prom homecoming.

Speaker 3 (13:28):
All the Blissfield Butcher stories are centered around homecoming, and
a new legend pops up every year during Homecoming week
to warn Blissfields teenagers of the dangers of underage debauchery.
What would this year's story be?

Speaker 4 (13:44):
Oh my god.

Speaker 2 (13:46):
Freaky came out in the United States on October eighth,
twenty twenty, at Beyond Fest. It is rated R and
has a run time of one hour and forty two minutes.
It's directed by Christopher Landon and it is written by
Christopher lane Then and Michael Kennedy. It stars Vince Vaughn
Catherine Newton, Celeste O'Connor, Misha Osherovich, which I think I

(14:07):
pronounced better this time around than I did the first time,
Emily Holder, Nicholas Stargel, Kelly Wilson, Mitchell hug Dana Jury,
and Katie Finneran is produced by Universal Pictures and Blumhouse Productions, which, honestly,
if you see Blumhouse touching it, I feel like it's

(14:28):
gonna be fairly solid ish. Sometimes we're not gonna talk
about Halloween ends, but you know, most of the time,
Blumhouse does a really good job. It filmed from October
twenty first, twenty nineteen to December twelfth, twenty nineteen. Some
taglines for the film basic switch killer, new Look, a

(14:49):
body swap that cuts deep Friday the thirteenth of November
meh b minus.

Speaker 3 (14:56):
I mean they're all pretty bad. To be honest, yeah,
I agree, Like I get the movie originally came out
on Friday the thirteenth November, But if you released a
movie specifically to use that tagline, reassess your life.

Speaker 2 (15:10):
I mean they didn't. It's because it's a freaky Friday
parody with horror, and it just so happened to have
occur on Friday the thirteenth.

Speaker 3 (15:19):
You're telling me that you don't think that they picked
Friday the thirteenth November to use the tagline Friday the
thirteenth of November.

Speaker 2 (15:28):
No, I'm sure that they did.

Speaker 3 (15:29):
That's what I'm saying, Like, well, that's a fucking stretch.
I get it. That's a stretch you could have put
brain power into something. Don't stare at me like I'm
the asshole here.

Speaker 2 (15:39):
Hey, why why are you calm down?

Speaker 3 (15:41):
You're the one getting a little aggressive about tagline.

Speaker 2 (15:43):
You're the one who lost the original audio, so maybe
you're just a little hostle from that. What's the budget
six million dollars? What's the gross?

Speaker 3 (15:55):
Eighteen point one million dollars?

Speaker 2 (15:57):
Oh, and you know what, I did hear much about
this movie when it came out.

Speaker 3 (16:03):
I can't remember who told me to watch it. But
it was early early DEMI. I mean this came out
early DEMI.

Speaker 2 (16:10):
So it was early pandemic. Yeah, are you talking about
it was like right in the middle of pandemic.

Speaker 3 (16:15):
Was six months in.

Speaker 2 (16:16):
Yeah, it was pretty it was pretty tough times right then.

Speaker 3 (16:19):
There wasn't great. My liver and I were not speaking.

Speaker 2 (16:24):
Everybody was dying.

Speaker 3 (16:25):
Yeah, fortunately I'm still here.

Speaker 2 (16:30):
Wow. All right. On that note, let's get into the plot.

Speaker 3 (16:37):
Four teenagers to discuss an urban legend of a serial
killer known as the Blissfield Butcher. Meanwhile, the butcher breaks
into the mansion they are in and promptly slaughters the
group before departing with an ancient dagger known as Littoya.
The next day, bullied high school student Milly Kessler attends
the Blissfield Valley High School homecoming football game, where she
performs as the school mascot. As Milly waits for her
ride home near the now empty school, the butcher arrives

(16:59):
and attacks her. He stabs milliing the shoulder with Lodola. Ladoya.
We had this issue the last time. I can't figure
out how to say this thing. It's Litthoa Yeahola, causing
an identical wound to appear on his shoulder. Milliy's older sister,
Sharup police officer arrives and scares off the butcher. The
police collect Lodola as evidence and initiate a main hunt
for the butcher. The following morning, the butcher and Millie

(17:21):
discover that they have switched bodies and they are now
make their way into Blissfield Valley High School. At school,
the Butcher, now posing as Millie, kills Milly's chief tormentor
Riler by locking her in a cryout therapy tank in
a girl's locker room. He realizes his innocent appearance grantsome
immunity from suspicion and fatally buy sex woodshop teacher mister Bernardi,
another one of Milly's tormentors and half of the table

(17:42):
saw Milly now when the Butcher's body finds her best
friends Nyla and Josh, improves her identity to them by
performing the school mascot's dance routine and answering a series
of personal questions. Nyla and Josh researched Lodola and discover
that Millie must stab the butcher with the dagger by
midnight or else the body switch will be permanent. Later
that afternoon, with the school's official homecoming cancel, the Butcher

(18:04):
suggests that new dance be held in an old mill
that is actually his hiding place. Butcher subsequently lures Millie's
crush Booker into a monster minigolf course to kill him,
but Milly, Nyla, and Josh arrive just in time to
save it. Millie knocks both the butcher and the Booker
and Booker unconscious, and she and her friends bring the
two to Josh's house after trying the butcher into a chair.

(18:26):
Milli and Nyla try to explain the situation to Booker,
who remains unconvinced until Millie recites a love poem she
and honestly wrote him weeks earlier. Josh watches over the
butcher while Millie, Nyla, and Booker drive to the police
station to obtain Lithola. Nyla Trix char the last officer
in the station into leaving so she can steal the dagger.
Waiting outside and the car, Booker reveals that he has
always liked Milly, and Milly divulges how she enjoys the

(18:48):
newfound strength and confidence she feels while in the butcher's body,
and they kiss.

Speaker 2 (18:53):
Would you kiss Vince Wallan in the mouth?

Speaker 3 (18:55):
Oh? My god? Deep with tom?

Speaker 2 (18:57):
Oh? Okay, that was easy.

Speaker 3 (19:01):
The butcher eventually escapes Josh's house and Shark catches NILA's stealing.
With Dola still in the car, Millie sees the butcher
enter the police station and runs in after him. But
Char tries to detain her. Unaware of the situation, Milly
overpowers Char and locks her in her jail cell while
the butcher escapes in a police car. At the Blissfield
Valley High homecoming dance out at the Butcher's mill, the
butcher kills three jocks who attempt to rape him thinking

(19:22):
he is Milly, as well as a fourth who attempts
to assault Josh. As midnight approaches, Millie finds the butcher
and both Nyla and Josh hold down while Booker staves
off the police. Millie stabs the butcher with lodola, and
they switch back to their own bodies just in time
before the police shoot the butcher. Later, Million Booker reunite
they kiss again. After faking his death in an ambulance.
The butcher follows Millie home and attacks her, mocking her

(19:43):
physical weakness and anxiety. Millie, Char and their mother struggle
to overpower the butcher, but Milly finally kills him by
impaling him with a broken table leg slut slut Was
that freaky version one? Or was that the week before
that the slut came up?

Speaker 2 (19:58):
It might have been version one. I feel like talked
about slut last week.

Speaker 3 (20:01):
That sounds about right. Yeah, the Norwegian Swedish or Norwegian sluts.

Speaker 2 (20:06):
I think it's Swedish Swedish Swedish sluts, Swedish sluts.

Speaker 3 (20:11):
I love their meatballs and their sluts.

Speaker 2 (20:13):
Yeah, there it is.

Speaker 3 (20:15):
What would you do for a Klondike bar?

Speaker 2 (20:18):
Hopefully nothing because they suck but the chocolate is subpar.
I literally just had this conversation with Brooke because she's like,
I can't believe you don't like Klondike bars. I'm like,
the chocolate sucks. The ice cream side on them are good,
but like the chocolate shell is not good. Tell me
I'm I'm wrong. Tell me that that is like a
superior chocolate that you're like, Fuck? Yeah, what I do

(20:41):
anything for a Klondike bar?

Speaker 3 (20:42):
No? I think what I like about it is the
fact that it like generally breaks off in like sheets,
so you get like a big piece of flat chocolate
that has decent texture.

Speaker 2 (20:52):
My thing is, if you're gonna have a tagline that
bold like what would you do for a Klondike bar,
you better be the best fucking chocolate bar like ice
cream bar that I've ever eaten.

Speaker 3 (21:02):
And you're just not well ninety percent of everything is marketing.
So if you market yourself as the best chocolate bar
ice cream bar out there.

Speaker 2 (21:09):
Like you're gonna can you just agree with me for once?

Speaker 3 (21:12):
I'm not disagreeing with you.

Speaker 2 (21:13):
It feels like you are.

Speaker 3 (21:16):
I don't hate them, I don't love them. There's better
shit out there, lots of better shit out there.

Speaker 2 (21:20):
So true, Like even a drumstick is better.

Speaker 3 (21:24):
Like I was just gonna say that I prefer a drumstick.
I ate one yesterday at work.

Speaker 2 (21:28):
Nice that little fucking solid piece of chocolate at the
end of that cone.

Speaker 3 (21:33):
Have you seen I think they're called muddy bites where
it's just the bottom part of the cone filled the chocolate.

Speaker 2 (21:38):
Okay, Oh yeah, you got so close to them, like
you're like, have you seen.

Speaker 3 (21:46):
Deep breathing?

Speaker 2 (21:51):
Okay? So what do you do if a tall, unsightly
man probably smells a little bit, looks very serial killery
and is like not it's.

Speaker 3 (22:01):
Erica, I swish bodies with a fucking serial killer. I
need for help.

Speaker 2 (22:07):
Do you believe him?

Speaker 3 (22:09):
What did you say to me at five forty five
pm Central Standard Time on October tenth A little book?
Then I'm like, what's up? Let's find this dagger first.
Let me get you a case of gatorade, and I'll
come back at you at two hours.

Speaker 2 (22:24):
I'll give you some new time. But don't worry, girl,
we're gonna we're gonna solve this problem.

Speaker 3 (22:30):
I won't call you between eleven and eleven fifteen.

Speaker 2 (22:32):
That's Willie time, that's Willi's time. Oh shit, uh that
shin of yours? Jess Oh, did I fucking tell you
before we get into anything more? Because I just heard
him cry? Did I tell you that Jasper got out
the other night?

Speaker 3 (22:51):
No, fucking idiot.

Speaker 2 (22:54):
He disappeared for about two hours. We have a sliding
glass door. There's a glass door and then there is
a screen portion that you can slide so you can
get fresh air. We always have it open right now
because it's the weather is beautiful airing out the house.
You got two kids and a cat. Everybody stinks. We
must have not have locked the screen and he was

(23:16):
able to push it and slide it open because we
were watching one of our shows. I don't even remember
what we were watching. And about like eight o'clock, I'm like,
all right, I want to go upstairs and read for
a little bit. Let's you know, close up the house
and you know, go sleep. And I walk into the
kitchen and she's like right behind me, and I hear
her go oh fucking shit, and I'm like what and

(23:38):
I turn around. I just see it open this much,
and I'm like fuck. And we looked all throughout the
house because we didn't see him out back, and then
I look on my camera out back and I see
one still that picked him up because he was so
slick and must have like stayed very close to the edges.
It didn't pick the camera didn't pick him up, but
one still of his beaty little fucking eyes reflecting in

(24:01):
the camera. We took turns hustling all over this goddamn
neighborhood between like eight pm till like nine thirty at night,
trying to find this motherfucker, and we just couldn't. He
has an air tag, so like if you're close to him,
it'll ping, and I got it to ping once I
went to where it was, and he did not come out.

(24:23):
I could not find him. We get back into the
house and it's like nine point thirty and I'm like,
we're basically prepping to just go to sleep because we
need daytime to fucking locate him, and she pings his
thing one more time and it shows up that he's
at the house behind my house, and I'm trying to

(24:46):
explain to her. I was like, he has to be
over here because it was not picking him up. And
while I'm talking, I'm looking at her phone like trying
to keep pinging it to see if we can hear anything.
I see his fucking dumb ass just walking in the backyard,
and then she went to go, like run and get him,
and he got all skittish, and then I opened the

(25:07):
slie glass door and he just jetted inside. He was
totally clean, not really like he didn't have anything on him.
He literally just gallivanted throughout the fucking night for an
hour and a half. Probably fucked another cat who knows.

Speaker 3 (25:19):
Oh they're slut.

Speaker 2 (25:21):
Yeah, but listen, this man is not made for the streets.
He literally has never ever hunted. He cleans himself for
about sixteen hours a day and then sleeps for the
other eight like he does. He's not When he got home,
he sneezed for about a day and a half because

(25:43):
he was outside in nature.

Speaker 3 (25:46):
He say, he's got to get gotta get the cocaine out.

Speaker 2 (25:48):
It was so annoying, like he literally fucking and I
even think she knows this, which when Brooke listens to
this episode, she'll hear it. The night that he got back,
he laid in between us when we were going to sleep, yep,
and his face was basically like on my pillow, like
just right here next to my face. That fucker sneezed
on me and woke me up. And I was like, Jasper,

(26:10):
what the fuck? And all I hear from her dead
asleep at one point thirty in the morning, bless you, buddy,
no regard to the fact that he just snotted on me.
I don't even think I told her that.

Speaker 3 (26:23):
We're about to have a domestic dispute.

Speaker 2 (26:25):
We're about to have a marital But yeah, so okay,
back to the movie. I'm glad that you would immediately
come to my aid.

Speaker 3 (26:36):
I mean, why wouldn't I.

Speaker 2 (26:39):
Because that's like the oldest trick in the book.

Speaker 3 (26:42):
Well that yeah, but we've seen enough movies that it's like, okay,
well you have to ask questions to prove that you
are who you are.

Speaker 2 (26:51):
That's fair, that's fair.

Speaker 3 (26:53):
That wouldn't just be like, all right, let's go like
you'd have to pat there would be a written test
and oral test, probably physical islenge or two.

Speaker 2 (27:01):
Well, if I'm like a six foot man, I'm fucking
ace in those.

Speaker 3 (27:04):
Yeah. But what if it's like it's like a fucking
rope bridge that you've to climb underneath. Now you're too big.

Speaker 2 (27:09):
I wouldn't succeed at that even in my current stature.

Speaker 3 (27:12):
No, I'm saying you got to scoot underneath it like
it's like a mud pit with a rope thing over
the top.

Speaker 2 (27:17):
My statement still stands.

Speaker 3 (27:20):
Trying to give it the benefit out that you're not
as weak as you look.

Speaker 2 (27:23):
No, I am, we don't, I don't try to. Uh
what are the words I'm looking for? I am not
lying going to Yeah, I'm not going to over embellish
and inflate my skills physically. It ain't happening back to

(27:44):
Freaky Some highlights. Number one I pointed out that pointed
this out to you the last time we watched it.
The fact that Vince Fawn has half a thumb. But
I love Vince Fawn same. Uh. I particularly like when

(28:05):
comedic actors take on more serious roles, even though this
is a humor horror he played a really creepy dude.
I could see him being a serial killer, right, But he.

Speaker 3 (28:15):
Was afforded the opportunity to still be goofy by playing
the Milli part, you know what I mean. So I
think that was that probably allowed him to be a
little more serious on the creepy side. But we also
the first time around, talked about him in Psycho than
how he was actually really good at that. Yes, I'm shocked,
I remember that.

Speaker 2 (28:33):
I'm proud. I'm very proud of you. He was really
unsettling in a moving movie called Disturbing Behavior, where he
plays this god awful stepdad.

Speaker 3 (28:43):
Who I forgot about that movie.

Speaker 2 (28:46):
Yeah, it's a good movie. John Travolta, Vince Vaughn, I
forget who plays the mom?

Speaker 3 (28:53):
H damn? Sorry, fuck it. Katie Holmes is in this,
Jamie Marsden uh.

Speaker 2 (29:02):
In Disturbing Behavior.

Speaker 3 (29:05):
Yeah, I had to make sure I was on the
right page. Yeah, Disturbing Behavior in nineteen ninety eighteen science fiction,
psychological horror. Vince Vaughn's not in this movie, there.

Speaker 2 (29:14):
Buckaroo, You're looking at the wrong one.

Speaker 3 (29:17):
There's more than one movie called Disturbing Behavior.

Speaker 2 (29:21):
How fucking hold on? I could be saying the movie
title wrong.

Speaker 3 (29:24):
I would venture dig as you are? You dumb shit?
I had to I'm sorry, Are you sure it's not brawl?
And then Cell Block ninety nine, it's not?

Speaker 2 (29:35):
Oh my god? Why is he in so many things?

Speaker 3 (29:37):
My god, he's in a ton of movies. Yeah, I
don't thumbsucker.

Speaker 2 (29:43):
Oh domestic disturbance.

Speaker 3 (29:46):
Oh is that the one with the Shilah buff No.

Speaker 2 (29:50):
That's that's disturbing.

Speaker 3 (29:51):
Uh, thank you, Kah. I wasn't that far off.

Speaker 2 (29:54):
So John Travolta, Vince Vaughn, Terry Polo played the wife.
What the fuck is Terry Polo been up to?

Speaker 5 (30:05):
Damn?

Speaker 3 (30:06):
She probably did.

Speaker 2 (30:07):
She's not dead.

Speaker 3 (30:09):
She was Divorcet though. I'm just hit her up. See
what's up?

Speaker 2 (30:14):
She was in She's in a lot of horrible movies.

Speaker 3 (30:17):
TV show The Fosters and it's spin off Good Trouble,
which just ended. She was in a little Fockers. Well,
she was in All the Fire.

Speaker 2 (30:27):
Oh she's the girl.

Speaker 3 (30:29):
Yeah, FBI International for her.

Speaker 4 (30:35):
Let's all go to the lobby.

Speaker 3 (30:38):
Let's all go to the lobby.

Speaker 4 (30:41):
Let's all go to the lobby to get ourselves a treat.

Speaker 3 (30:47):
You don't watch those shows do you what the FBI shows?
No good?

Speaker 2 (30:53):
I don't watch FBI CSI nothing, so CSI is over.

Speaker 3 (31:01):
NCIS has a prequel that she said no to. But
all the FBI, there's three FBI shows that come out
one day a week. I'll fucking fall in the spring,
which is fine. I like, I urge her to watch
shit whatever she wants. I don't really care. It's just
obnoxious because everyone's froid. There's a crossover episodes. You have
to watch him in a certain order. It's like, good

(31:21):
word Simpsons ever did that?

Speaker 2 (31:24):
They really didn't.

Speaker 3 (31:26):
They're just bad. Did you watch the week's episode after
I told you no? Yeah, they did the tree the
bush the bush gimmick and I was like, oh that's funny.
And then three more times directly in her own I'm like,
why not, you've for ruing it?

Speaker 2 (31:41):
Yeah, fucked it up? Uh okay, So yeah, Domestic Disturbance
was a really good movie. I urge everybody to watch that.
I'm sure there's other movies that he's been in where
he plays a creepy dude, but more often than not,
he's playing this humorous dude who's talking fast, very quick witted,
and you know, Lata rat a Tat tat to see

(32:02):
him play a until he switches bodies with the fuck
is her name? Millie, Until he switches bodies with Milly,
he's virtually silent, so he's very unsettling. But then seeing
Vince Vaughn, which is a six ' to three man,

(32:22):
prance around like he's supposed to be an eighteen year
old girl. That's like chef kiss humor to me. I
absolutely adored that, and that was the highlight of the
movie for me. It was him Milly navigating being in
a dude's body that's at least twice her size. Maybe

(32:44):
that's a little too harsh, one point two five her size.

Speaker 3 (32:48):
Yeah, I mean it's probably she's probably five feet tells whatever,
fucking math, he's bigger than she is.

Speaker 2 (32:58):
What were some of the things you liked about it, Matt.

Speaker 3 (33:01):
It's a real good, real good movie. I had real
good parts, made me smile, made me feel feelings, this
real good movie. It moved No, I mean, I just
remember it being fun, enjoyable. I'm trying to like not
say the exact same thing that you just said, but
what you said is very true. It's he was always

(33:23):
humorous to me to see Vince fun act like this
eighteen year old girl and like react like an eighteen
year old girl would, on top of the fact that
he's also playing this creepy, fucking guy. It's not a
bad story, it's a it's a it's good for what
it's supposed to be, which, like we can we argued
about at the beginning, is it's just a horror version
of Freaky Friday. It was a I'm a little surprised

(33:45):
it took as long as it did to make that
idea like come to reality. I'm sure there's other spin
offs or very close versions that exist, but we're talking
about this one, right, Yeah.

Speaker 2 (34:01):
I mean there's original Freaky Friday. Then there's the Lindsay
Lohan Jamie Lee Kirgis Freaky Friday, which is now getting
a sequel. There's that movie with Jason Bateman and Ryan
Reynolds where they switch. Yes, is it called the Switch Fuck?

Speaker 3 (34:24):
It is the epispmele. I'm gonna look it up, and
it's already change Up, Change Up, which is basically as
fucking bland as the Switch.

Speaker 2 (34:32):
Hold on, I'm gonna go body swap movies. There's got
to be so many Love, Switch, Change Up, Family, Switch,
Freaky The Hot Chick seventeen again thirteen going on thirty.
Even though that does that really count? That's just kind

(34:54):
of like a jump in the future, Same body, Uh,
down to Earth. I forgot about that movie.

Speaker 4 (35:03):
Fuck?

Speaker 3 (35:04):
What was the movie? I can't remember. I think I
was talking with the guys I work with. It's the
Brendan Fraser Last in the Past.

Speaker 2 (35:12):
Oh love that movie. I haven't seen that in a
very long time.

Speaker 3 (35:15):
I don't know if I've ever seen it.

Speaker 2 (35:18):
I probably saw it in the nineties. Face Off Big,
But again, that's another thirteen going on thirty.

Speaker 3 (35:27):
I could eat a peach for hours, It's all I
remember from paes Off.

Speaker 2 (35:33):
Yeah, there's so many switch movies. The Christmas switch.

Speaker 3 (35:37):
M m Santa Claus, Santa Claus two, Santa Claus three,
the Santa Clausing.

Speaker 2 (35:44):
How are the switch movies?

Speaker 3 (35:46):
They're not? Wow, not that I'm thinking about it. I
thought that Santa Claus could vaguely be because Tim Allen
becomes Santa Claus.

Speaker 2 (35:56):
What a dumb ass?

Speaker 3 (36:01):
I Love you six twenty one UM Central Standard Time
twenty four. You called me a dumb ass.

Speaker 2 (36:20):
They put get Out on this list which kind.

Speaker 3 (36:23):
Of get out as as much a body switch movie
as the Santa Claus is a body switch movie.

Speaker 2 (36:29):
Yeah, sorry, he just texted me.

Speaker 3 (36:34):
I'm aware I text you I die initiated.

Speaker 2 (36:37):
I'm telling the people he texted me written proof of
my verbal abuse.

Speaker 3 (36:44):
That's two in less than forty five minutes.

Speaker 2 (36:47):
So listen, you're just I'm rare to go anyway. Great movie.
If we go into yayners, I think it's very obvious
we're yang the movie Yay insert jabby Jay. Can't go wrong.
You really can't go wrong. This is a solid humor

(37:07):
horror genre type movie. It had fun, like I think
one part I did jump because they have like cheap
little jump scares. But it's fun. It's just it's super fun.
The kills are gory and over the top, and I
like them.

Speaker 3 (37:24):
I feel like Freaky is everything we wanted out of
this entire season, every movie in the season, exactly.

Speaker 2 (37:30):
Yeah, you're one hundred percent correct. This is exactly how
I wanted this entire time.

Speaker 3 (37:34):
I will not text you that at six twenty two.
On ten ten twenty four, you were nice to me.

Speaker 2 (37:39):
Yeah, I complimented you on that note. We were going
to go to submoster minutias. The original name of the
film was Freaky Friday the Thirteenth, a reference to the
various Freaky Friday films about My Mother and daughter body
swapping and the Friday the Thirteenth films.

Speaker 3 (37:54):
I almost rather would have had that one, but it's
a mouthful.

Speaker 2 (37:57):
Freaky Friday the thirteenth, Yeah, I don't think it would
have gotten the same. I think a title really does
make or break a movie.

Speaker 3 (38:07):
I also think that they would have had issues using
Friday the thirteenth at all on the title of the movie.

Speaker 2 (38:13):
But I wonder if that's trademark, like nobody else can
use Friday the thirteenth.

Speaker 3 (38:19):
That might be a rabbit hole that I'm not willing
to get myself involved in right now, because I know
that there was a lot of issues with the licensing
rights for the characters of Friday the thirteenth, So I'd
have to assume that the Friday the thirteenth title also
is bundled into that little party.

Speaker 2 (38:34):
Yeah. Catherine Newton was the first choice for Millie, but
she originally declined the role. However, after speaking with Jason
Blum about the project, she eventually changed her mind. Director
and co writer Christopher Landen proposed a crossover movie with
Happy death Day called Freaky death Day. I have never seen.
I've only seen snippets of the Happy death Day movie,

(38:55):
and I feel like I really love it.

Speaker 3 (38:58):
They're both fun.

Speaker 2 (38:59):
Oh good.

Speaker 3 (39:00):
I want to say there's a third one too, not
out in the works.

Speaker 2 (39:05):
Would those be considered humor horror movies or no?

Speaker 3 (39:10):
I'm just looking it up. Yeah, Black Comedy and their Blumhouse.

Speaker 2 (39:14):
I don't know why I didn't put those on here.
I think they are on another season, but I just
can't remember which one. I had to ask you to
look in the spreadsheet, but it's just too bast I'm
already in it.

Speaker 3 (39:24):
There's a decent search function. We're fine, but I don't
know if you can.

Speaker 2 (39:28):
I think you can. It would be in season ideas.

Speaker 3 (39:32):
It's not here.

Speaker 2 (39:34):
Wow, drop the ball on that one.

Speaker 3 (39:38):
Yeah, don't worry though. Episode sixteen of the next season
is do you know how many times I'm gonna just
stop and go I'm a snake.

Speaker 2 (39:48):
I can't wait. I literally can't wait. We could talk
about that at the end of the episode, because I'm
getting very I'm getting very excited because we're so close
to next season, vince Vaughn told the stunt driver to
actually hit him with the car when he was crossing
the street. Early in the film, the director said Vaughn

(40:08):
could take the hit, and he did. At the football game,
Booker's last name is seen as Strode on his jersey.
This is a reference to slasher icon Laurie Strode from
the Halloween franchise. In addition, Blumhouse made Halloween twenty eighteen,
as well as that the subsequent sequels. Vince Vaughn's fall

(40:29):
during the auditorium chase was accidental and not scripted. Vaughn
slipped on a fake plant and was knocked over and
lost his balance, but continued the scene. I love that shit.
Uh there's like have you ever fuck? I forget what
it is, but it's a Robin Williams movie where he
plays a gay man married to fock that actress. I

(40:49):
forget that. I think Birdhouse.

Speaker 3 (40:51):
I think it's Birdhouse, yes, where it's like an over
the top comedy.

Speaker 2 (40:54):
Yeah, there's bird Cage. There's this scene in that movie
where he's in a kitchen and he's like completely hysterical
because I think this they're meeting the son's girlfriend's parents
or something. I forget. It's been a really long time.
But he falls in the kitchen, and if you look
at every other actor, they like stop and are cracking up.

(41:15):
Robin keeps going because it was an accidental fall, but
they kept it in the movie. It's so good. I
love that ship so much that.

Speaker 3 (41:23):
You've got to get in there. Everything is going to hell.
He didn't make an entree? What do what do you?
What do you you mean? Just have soup? Your soup?
And it's like a stop. Where do you think it was? For? Shup?
He's a no for Catherine. Go put it on the
downstairs door. I've got to get back to before they
eat enough to see the bottom of the bowl. Job,

(41:49):
It's okay, We're all right. It's fine. Shop, it's all
stopped flying.

Speaker 4 (41:53):
Got dann you what?

Speaker 2 (41:55):
He starting it for? Cow?

Speaker 3 (41:56):
Cow Cow.

Speaker 2 (42:01):
In the opening sequence, when the butcher kills his final
victim with the spike on the wall, he tilts his
head the same way Michael Myers didn't Halloween after stabbing
his victim, Linda, You asshole.

Speaker 3 (42:16):
Linda is a cast role that's.

Speaker 2 (42:18):
Rich coming from a household that is not cast role friendly.

Speaker 3 (42:22):
Oh I'm a big cast role. Guy, she's the cast
role racist. I cannot wait for her to leave so
I can make fucking cast roles.

Speaker 2 (42:29):
What would be the first cast role that you make?

Speaker 3 (42:33):
Well, So here's this. So she's gone the last weekend
of this month, so I'm batching it up hard, and
then like ten days in November, like ten days straight. Yeah,
so I think Halloween week and I might hit soups
pretty hard. It all depends. So like it's raindomly going
to be seventy five again tomorrow for reference, it's not

(42:55):
even October fifteenth yet. But then Sunday satur excuse me,
Saturday is like fifty yes, so no, I'm super I
have a beer pickup thing outside on Saturday. But that's fine.
I can wear a flannel in pants. It's not a
big deal. Sorry, I'm getting away from the question here.

(43:16):
I'm not sure because I try really hard not to
like eat like a piece of shit, because I tried
not to put weight on because that's like a problem.
I think I haven't had lasagnia in a while, so
that's up there. Also, like a taco casse.

Speaker 2 (43:32):
Role, you could do a lasagna soup.

Speaker 3 (43:35):
Lazangna soup, is what I was thinking about for the
end of the month, because in reality, you could quote
unquote health it up a bit less noodles turkey instead
of sausage shit like that. I just I love soup
so fucking much that I will just eat soup, Like
when I made the streetcorn soup and I just ate
a gallon in two days, which it wasn't really a gallon,

(43:57):
but it was a full recipe's worth. I ate over
the course of the weekend, and it was fucking glorious.
I just I love soup. It's good. It's your wets
and it's your substance in one glorious spoonful of warmth
and hugs.

Speaker 2 (44:11):
It really is. I thry. I could literally eat potato
soup probably every single day, in different variations. I love
love soup. I made what did I make soup?

Speaker 3 (44:26):
Meat?

Speaker 4 (44:27):
No?

Speaker 2 (44:27):
I did? Yeah, no, I did make soup, but it
wasn't It wasn't like loaded baked potato soup. I just
happened to make a soup and put left Like I
had like a handful of red potatoes left from a
prior meal, and I was like, oh, I'll use these
before they go bad. I'll just put potatoes in this soup,
and it was so fucking delectable. I'll have to ask

(44:48):
for what it was, but it was a fucking great soup.

Speaker 3 (44:51):
I've been doing a lot of soup research lately, like
I think, so I have not made chicken dumpling soup
with dumplings from scratch, probably since Alyssa I moved in together,
which was fourteen years ago. Because the dumpling recipe that
I found that I really liked. Oh, chicken tortilla soup,
I might make that one too, but the dumpling recipe
had not make it, and she's a lurted to it,

(45:11):
so I just never did it, and I was kind
of like, fuck it, I'm gonna do that. So, yeah,
I like to party party hard.

Speaker 2 (45:19):
I've always wanted to make lasagna soup. I need to
do that.

Speaker 3 (45:22):
Yeah, it fucks super hard. Italian chicken. So the thing
like French oninion soup, that's another good one. Oh my god,
just mm.

Speaker 2 (45:34):
Do you need a minute?

Speaker 3 (45:35):
No, I'm just I haven't any dinner, so no, I'm
just kidding.

Speaker 2 (45:38):
Hungry, Let's keep on going. H The death scene involving
a bottle getting shoved down someone's throat has appeared previously
in two other slasher movies. Sorority wrote at Midnight Kiss
from the Hulu horror anthology series Into the Dark, that
was a solid, solid kill shoving a bottle down someone's

(45:59):
throat and then smack the top of it so it shaggers.

Speaker 3 (46:02):
And then yee ye, that's called the next level maneuver.

Speaker 2 (46:05):
Hell yeah, this one's a little political, so buckle up,
Gerda LLINs. The toxic high school football jocks Brett, Tobin,
and Squee intent on gangbanging Millie actually the Blissfield butcher
in Milly's body at the party at the Old Mill,
are named after US Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh and
his high school friends Tobin, PJ and Squee, whose names

(46:29):
became well known during Kavanov's contentious Senate confirmation hearings in
twenty eighteen. Speaking of politics, tomorrow is election Day, Get
out and vote. It has cinematic parallels with the comedy
Hot Chick. Both have a young schoolgirl swapping bodies with
an older criminal man while trying to prevent them from

(46:50):
using their her image for evil and reverse the change
before the school dance. The difference between is that the
protagonists of each title. While Jessica the popular one of
the school, exchanging bodies with the swindler, Millie is excluded,
and she exchanged bodies with a serial killer. Yeah, kind
of different. And then last, but certainly not least, when

(47:11):
Millie is possessed by the butcher uses a large hook
as a murder weapon, it is likely an homage to
the hook killer in I Know what you did last summer,
beautiful beautiful manushas Minusha's do Minushia these nuts sounds way
less aggressive than Minusha this dick.

Speaker 3 (47:29):
I just said, Manush this dick. But yeah, I agree,
Manusha these Nuts is a little softer, more approachable.

Speaker 2 (47:35):
You know, I've been thinking about that question that you
asked me earlier, like would I let someone hit me
in the nuts if I body swaft with a dude?
I've been thinking about basically the whole time we've been talking.

Speaker 3 (47:46):
And you know, is that a common like thing girls
are like they wonder about is if getting hitting the
balls hurts as bad as guys make it out to be.

Speaker 2 (47:55):
Yes, I would say so, And I know I.

Speaker 3 (47:59):
Know I have explained this to you, and I know
I've explained this to Alyssa and I'm sure any gentleman
listening will agree. It's it's it's a weird thing because
it's not always how hard you get hit. It's just
like where you get hit. And then also when you
get hit, there's sometimes there's like thirty seconds before you
feel anything. It's like it's like hitting a fucking gong

(48:20):
where it starts and then all of a sudden it
just resonates, and it's just it's the weirdest thing ever.
I wish I knew why that is the way it is.

Speaker 2 (48:29):
I'm sure a simple Google search could answer this question
for all of it.

Speaker 3 (48:33):
I am not googling why do my when I get
hit in the balls? Why is it like a gong
gong gong this dong? God, sorry that I'm fucking eloquent
with words.

Speaker 2 (48:47):
Rhyming does not equate eloquency.

Speaker 3 (48:51):
Eloquate the stick. You're welcome, Soupert.

Speaker 2 (49:00):
I don't even want to continue talking about this anymore.

Speaker 3 (49:03):
That's why you can end this episode.

Speaker 2 (49:04):
Oh God, So that's gonna do it for the monster Venutias.
And before we go, we're gonna do one of our
favorite segments which will be changing placement next season, which
I decided today uh, does it fuck? Matt? You have
some fuckable things going on in your life other than soup.

Speaker 3 (49:23):
Mmmm yeah, A chicken Big Mag today, Like, well, so,
so here's my and you're you're a big Mac, a
big Mac queen. I guess you're a bigger you're a
much larger fan of the Secret Sauce than I am.
But I am the type of human being that always
orders a MC chicken with cheese on it.

Speaker 2 (49:44):
That's smart.

Speaker 3 (49:45):
Keep going no, but that's the thing, Like, that's not
something I did until they have the app, because I
am that also the type of person that does not
want to be annoying, so I don't alter an order
unless I'm very much against it, which are very a
few things, black olives really being the one thing that
I don't want. Olives or black olives are really the

(50:06):
only thing that I'll ever ask not to have on
there until you give me an app to order. So
a big Mac a chicken Big Mac is essentially a
McChicken with cheese, but you're changing the mayonnaise for the
Secret sauce and then adding a layer. Oh and the pickles.

(50:26):
I forgot about the pickles because the pickles are kind
of jarring in the whole situation. But I went to
a very small McDonald's so it was made all it
was all made, very fresh. It was delightful. I'm not
upset I had it. I don't think I'll go back
out of my way to get it. Like there's a
lot of shit, Like I'm staring at an ad for
the Culver's Kerderberger which is back, which I really need

(50:49):
to eat, which I know I've sent you pictures of
where it's the fucking fried cheese curd on the burger.
Taco Bell has some shit you see them coming with
Baja blast pie. So yeah, I'll try it because I'm
an idiot. But the point here is I'm not upset
I had it. There are other things I would rather
try before I go back to have this boom.

Speaker 2 (51:10):
So would you label it as fuckable?

Speaker 3 (51:13):
Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, yeah, definitely Fox if you
like Big Max, it'll fuck harder than it fucked me,
But it's still fucked me.

Speaker 2 (51:23):
It was a gentle love It was a gentle love
making session.

Speaker 3 (51:26):
Yeah, Like it bought me dinner beforehand and it cuddled afterwards.

Speaker 2 (51:30):
Nice.

Speaker 3 (51:31):
What do you got that's fucking these days?

Speaker 2 (51:33):
It wasn't. It's not nearly as exciting. I'm really a
woman of simple tastes. I was in the store in
Giant and I got, uh, white I've had them before,
the White Castle burger bites. They have a jalapeno one.

Speaker 3 (51:54):
Uh talk to me, I can't.

Speaker 2 (51:57):
I mean it's really just white Castle with a jalopino
in it. So it's spicy. So if you like spicy,
you're gonna enjoy it.

Speaker 3 (52:04):
Have you had have you had White Castle before?

Speaker 2 (52:08):
Literally never had White Castle before in my life. But
here's the thing, and I always pronounce the name wrong.
I think it's Totinos, but everybody calls it Tostinos.

Speaker 3 (52:16):
Who this is what fucking idiot is saying Toastinos. There's
no ess in there. It's Totino's pizza rolls, the Totino's
pizza boy.

Speaker 2 (52:25):
I think it's one of those Mandela effects. I know
these notes.

Speaker 4 (52:32):
Uh.

Speaker 2 (52:33):
I think it's really a Mandela effect because everyone I
know says Tostinos.

Speaker 3 (52:37):
No. I think I'm with all due respect, everyone he
knows idiots. I mean, you might not be right. Okay,
So Tim and Eric actually have a bit. It's about Totino's.
The pizza boy, so I know on a grand scale
it's Totinos, not Toastinos.

Speaker 2 (52:53):
I understand what you're saying, and that's why I know
the correct name. I'm just saying for the general get
right there, Just very upset. I'm sorry. Totino's pizza rolls.
They used to have, and I've talked to you about
this for fucking years. They used to have a cheeseburger role.

Speaker 3 (53:14):
Yes, I okay, and proceed.

Speaker 2 (53:20):
This cheeseburger role, if memory serves correctly, had like a
ketchup flavor on the inside of it, so it literally
was just like a tiny little mini cheeseburger in your mouth.
It was fucking delectable, and I loved it hard as
a child, as well as the taco ones. I think

(53:41):
they called them the mexicanizza pizza roles, but they were
so fucking good, and they discontinued both of them, and
it was a travesty and it always will be a travesty.
Yet you could still be like, hey, certain walmarts still
get them, apparently, and I don't know if they're backstock
from two thousand and three, but I'd eat the share
at of them one day. I'm perusing my Giant and

(54:03):
I see that they have white Castle pizza. Buttes, I'm
not a huge fan of onion in my burger, like
white raw onion. I'm not like I My onion needs
to be cooked down. I don't like it raw. Just
not a fan.

Speaker 3 (54:19):
There is a change dot org petition to bring back
pizza the Totinos Cheesy Taco flavor pizza roles.

Speaker 2 (54:27):
See what I'm selling people, But.

Speaker 3 (54:28):
There's a picture of the box too, which proves that
you're not losing your mind. These things exist that that's
that's what I'm here for. I just wanted to bust
in and say that continue on your rant.

Speaker 2 (54:38):
So number one, I'm gonna put that change dot org
thing in our show notes, So please everybody sign it, yep,
because they need to bring it back.

Speaker 1 (54:46):
So fucking good.

Speaker 2 (54:48):
But yeah, so if you get the white Castle, just
the regular ones and dip them in ketchup, indistinguishable, they
are exactly the fucking same.

Speaker 3 (54:58):
Yeah. So I I'm a big fan of Heinz Jalapeno ketchup,
and oh dude, it's so good. So I got it
because it's it's almost shrimp dip season and I made
my cocktail sauce with a jlapeno ketchup and horseradish. Yeah.
I don't fuck around when it comes to fucking my

(55:19):
taste buds. But I had the White Castle cheeseburger bites
with a Halopeno ketchup. The point I was making before
when I asked if you've if you've ever eaten White Castles,
those cheeseburger bites taste this same as a White Castle cheeseburger,
which is both good and bad because the problem is
if you eat White Castle, it smells the same going
in as it does coming out. It is re real

(55:41):
fucking pulsive. And I've eaten it twice in my life,
and both have been during weekends of heavy drinking, and
I always think it's gonna be way better than it is.
Like the last time I ate it was in I
could vividly tell you exactly what's happening. It was in
Indiana for dark Lord Day. I met James from Kansas.

(56:03):
He got it had to be eighty dollars in White Castle.
It was like four fucking bags and we ate so much,
and then the next day our hotel room just smelt
like shitty white Castle. Not bad white Castle, shitty white
Castle because we shit out the White Castle, so tread

(56:23):
with Caush.

Speaker 2 (56:24):
I liked our first episode, Begger when we recorded this,
I didn't have that information.

Speaker 3 (56:29):
You didn't bring this up the first time around. Baby,
I'm a happier not. The mayor next to my office
has the Jalapino Cheeseburger Castle Blights, which I will be
getting it because I'm an adult, do it.

Speaker 2 (56:46):
I'm going to get the well number one. I'm going
to try, most likely tomorrow, the Chicken Big Back, and
I will report back when we record, probably at the
episode that comes out in December. What am I gonna say?

Speaker 3 (57:01):
I personally think you're really gonna like that Chicken.

Speaker 2 (57:03):
Big Mac, probably because I love the chicken sandwiches from McDonald's.
I love Big Max had a baby it.

Speaker 3 (57:12):
Being messy and me not being the biggest fan of
Big Max sauce is really the only Knox Oh.

Speaker 2 (57:19):
I love Big Max Sauce. Every time someone you know,
there was that post on snack Betch where she was like,
these are the identical sauces that you can get at
Walmart or Target or whatever. Yep, she was fully correct
with I forget which I think it was the Chick
fil a one because I don't want to give Chick

(57:41):
fil a my money because queer girl can't. I just can't.

Speaker 3 (57:45):
But have you had their chicken And.

Speaker 2 (57:47):
Here's the thing. I think I told you this maybe
actually the last time we recorded their waffle their waffle
fries or fire.

Speaker 3 (57:55):
Do you know that they're making like potato chip bags
of waffle fries.

Speaker 2 (57:58):
Now, yeah, okay, I might have to have you buy
them and then you can just send it to me.

Speaker 3 (58:03):
That's fine, that's fine. Yeah, you don't have to pay
me back.

Speaker 2 (58:05):
But what's funny, hold on before you get there. What's
hilarious is that any time I would eat like chicken
nuggets from there or chicken sandwich from there, before we
all knew that they were fucking, you know, just anti everything,
I would get like a fucking nauseating stomach ache. Nothing
would happen. I would just feel nauseous. I don't know

(58:27):
if the Chick fil A once it went into my body,
it was like ooh queer and tried to like holy
water me from the inside out like a vampire.

Speaker 3 (58:36):
The Chicken a file At was like, it's too gay
in here, exactly that.

Speaker 2 (58:44):
And it's like, we gotta got out, but it just didn't.
So but I I fuck with their fries, but their chicken, man,
it hates me.

Speaker 3 (58:51):
Yeah, I don't want to get too in a chick
fil A because I chickil a waffle fries fucked super
duper hard. They're spicy pimento cheese, saying like the honey
peppers pimental cheese is fine, but like I it, my
argument is kind of like a little less. It's more
lenient than my complaint with McDonald's or like McDonald's is

(59:14):
just like, yeah, you get what you get. We're not
really adding shit, we're changing stuff up a little bit,
that's about it. Chick fil A is like you get
four chicken samches and that's it. But it feels like
they're they're spreading their wings a little bit because the
honey pimental chicken sandwich originally didn't have a spicy option.
They brought it back with a spicy option, so they're
trying a little bit. But also like I don't go

(59:37):
unless something new comes out.

Speaker 2 (59:39):
So yeah, my original point, which were how we got
on the chickil is like no, no, that's fine. It
was my fault because I derailed with my gayness. But
you cannot recreate in my opinion, because I've attempted it.
I've had other people attempt it, and I've tried other
like you know, Walmart brands or Target this or that

(59:59):
or the other. The McDonald's Big Mac sauce. I only
like at McDonald's. I don't like there's always something missing
that I can't put my finger on, Like I could
have the exact recipe, but they do something in that
sauce that I'm just like.

Speaker 3 (01:00:18):
It's the same as everyone's saying that their fries were
the best because it was they had it was a
trans fat, like there was something in the oil that
you we've decided you can't eat anymore, and that's what
makes the fries no longer that great.

Speaker 2 (01:00:31):
Like, oh here's the thing. I never even thought that
they had the best fries anyway.

Speaker 3 (01:00:34):
No, I I'd like for their fries today and they
were so fucking salty that I just I didn't finish them.
But also I got free fries because I bought a soda.
So yeah, there's you can Yeah, yep, there's something special
about someone doing something for you as opposed to me
trying to make your sauce at home. Back to that
post as I thought, I've never had raisin canes. I

(01:00:55):
really want to try raisin caines. They're just they're not
in Wisconsin, McDonald or sorry. Walmart apparently has frozen chicken
tenders that are the same as raising canes and sauce.
But also it's like I have no frame of reference,
so do I get it? And I just have fucking
eight pounds of chicken that I don't like because you
can't buy a small goddamn package because it's fucking Freedom units.

Speaker 2 (01:01:17):
It's Freedom units. But yeah, no, they just had open
I don't know if they just open it up that
there's a raising canes within like twenty minutes of me
that I've been curious to try. So I will report back.
I'll try it for you. You try a lot of things
for this.

Speaker 3 (01:01:30):
Thank you. I really need you to end this episode
because my bladder hurts.

Speaker 2 (01:01:35):
Just go, I'll just end it.

Speaker 3 (01:01:37):
Well, I'm gonna keep my headphones on so i'll be back.

Speaker 2 (01:01:40):
Okay, you're gonna hear me the whole time. Excellent. Well,
while Matt goes to pee, because I'm not gonna cut
that out because the fact that he's literally walking into
a bathroom right now and relieving himself, and can hear
everything I'm saying. It's just a personal basically a conversation
between me and him while he's having private time in

(01:02:02):
the bathroom, which could be a little weird. I don't know.
If I keep talking, will he pee? Will it just
crawl back up? Is he a type of person that
if someone's talking directly at him while he's trying to pee,
can he go? I will let you know if he
comes back by the time I close out this episode.
But on that note, thank you so much for listening

(01:02:23):
to this episode of Monster Madness. We had last week
or when we recorded attempted to record this, attempted to
discuss a movie that Matt and I vehemently despised, So
maybe it wasn't a bad thing that we lost that audio.
Because we ripped this movie to shreds, we're not going

(01:02:47):
to cover it fully. We may do a bonus episode
on it. It's called I Blame Society from twenty twenty.
It's something. But next time on Monster Madness, because it
is Thanksgiving season, we are actually going to be covering
a Moon movie that I just recently discovered that came
out in twenty twenty three called Thanksgiving. So if you

(01:03:11):
want to be up to date on the show, watch
that film and we'll see you on the next one.
Matt is clearly still Pin, so I will say ad
for both of us.

Speaker 5 (01:03:23):
Bye, What do you mean standing in Pin is kind
of rad?

Speaker 2 (01:03:29):
Really focus?

Speaker 5 (01:03:30):
Sorry?

Speaker 3 (01:03:31):
What you both got hurt?

Speaker 2 (01:03:33):
Oh?

Speaker 5 (01:03:34):
Yeah? So when he stabbed me, he instantly got a
wound too, but in the exact same spot, a left shoulder.
And then late last night I kept carrying the bagger's
name like this weird, like whispering in my head. Lodola, Lodola.
I think the dola caused this. This is like three
gallons of pee.

Speaker 3 (01:03:49):
This guy's blatner is huge? Is everything huge? Joshua? What
you know? This is the boys room, right, She's.

Speaker 2 (01:03:57):
Got a dick in her hand, and you're wearing shell
number five think labels.

Speaker 3 (01:04:02):
This is ridiculous.

Speaker 5 (01:04:03):
You guys gotta see this as like a flopp aganny.

Speaker 3 (01:04:48):
Okay, oh god, oh listen, just creeps through the door
and she just goes It. Sounded like you were in distress.
I was just checking on you.

Speaker 2 (01:05:01):
No, we were just talking about ice cream.

Speaker 3 (01:05:03):
Chanced to tell her that that's what we were talking about,
because she just slunk back out. But you also need
to keep in mind like she opened the door this
far and I just saw like one eye.

Speaker 2 (01:05:13):
I like how there was no emergence, Like there was
no emergence at all. She was just like, I think
he's dying.

Speaker 3 (01:05:21):
Well, I think she probably saw me upright and realized
that I wasn't dying. Stay in school, kids,

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