Island Claws (1980)

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Well, hey there, folks, Just like how only you can
prevent forest fires, only you can prepare yourself for what's
ahead on this podcast. But before we hike into the
woods of horror films and all the terrifying tales they tell,
you should know that on this show, we'll be taking
a deep dive into some of your favorite scary movies.
But be warned there will be spoilers hidden behind every

(00:26):
tree stump. So if you haven't seen the movie we're
talking about, well you should probably circle on back to
the trailhead partner. Not only that, but things can get
a little let's say explicit. Around here. You'll hear strong
language and those opinions of ours, oh, they can be
as sharp as a bear's fangs. So remember, only you
can decide if you're ready for the journey ahead. So

(00:48):
stick around if you're prepared to face all those spoilers
and listen to all that strong language and entertain some
seriously bold takes.

Speaker 2 (00:56):
Otherwise, tread lightly, man hard.

Speaker 1 (01:09):
I didn't know you like bikes.

Speaker 2 (01:11):
I didn't know you like pickups?

Speaker 1 (01:14):
You coming or going?

Speaker 3 (01:15):
I have just spent a lovely hour with.

Speaker 2 (01:17):
The good doctor.

Speaker 1 (01:18):
Nothing serious, I hope, No, My only problem was the crabs.
I'm sorry in photograph.

Speaker 3 (01:27):
I'm sorry, and I'll prove it to you at dinner
tonight eight o'clock.

Speaker 2 (01:32):
Pretty sure of yourself, aren't you?

Speaker 3 (01:35):
Actually? I'm scared to death.

Speaker 1 (01:36):
You're gonna say no, Well, I wouldn't want that to happen.

Speaker 2 (01:40):
Okay, good, Hi, Hello, and welcome to this week's episode
of Monster Madness, a podcast dedicated to all sorts of creatures,
features and beyond. I'm Erica, and joined with me is
a man who probably wouldn't survive a massive crab attack
my co host Matthew.

Speaker 3 (01:58):
Hi, Matt, I do not want crab apps. I mean
I like eating crab. It's pretty delightful.

Speaker 2 (02:03):
I used to until it decided to turn on me.

Speaker 3 (02:06):
As a crab has an end for you know.

Speaker 2 (02:08):
I mean the anaphylactic shock is what has it really
in for me. But I still haven't gotten my allergy test.
I need to do that. I went to the allergist,
I scheduled it, and then I had to reschedule it
because I got really sick. And then I just keep
forgetting and I keep taking my allergy pill and they're like,
you have to detox for like a week from your
allergy like, yeah.

Speaker 3 (02:30):
Yeah, that's that sounds like a winter problem, right.

Speaker 2 (02:33):
I was like, I don't. I don't feel in danger enough.
And they texted me, They're like, are you going to reschedule?
And I was just like, here's the thing. I've been
taking my allergy pill a lot because the palin is
rough in these parts and I want to be able
to breathe. So no, I'm not ready. And they're like, oh, okay,
well just text us when you want to schedule it,
because I'm pretty sure. It's like the actual doctor's number,

(02:56):
like their personal number. Yeah, two of them in the office.
It's a very quaint place. I love it, called Pure Allergy.
It's quite nice. Literally in the same building of my daughter,
both of my daughter's doctor. You can find Monster Madness
on all your favorite podcasting platforms, social media sites and
things of that nature. Matt does stream video games and
drums sessions from time to time. Yea, you know the drill.

(03:20):
All the information for the show, whether you want to
do merch this, that or the other, rate the show,
email us, it's all in the show notes. Go check
it out. Uh So, Matthew, before we get into have
our hebes Bengbiat. I want to do a quick shout
out to one of our longtime listeners, Eric. What's up Eric?

(03:42):
He he probably will not be listening to this for
a few weeks because he has a backlog to listen to,
because he messaged me today and he was just like, hey,
how are you guys? You know I haven't been able
to listen because I've just been busy with work and
I have a new baby. So let's say congrats to
Eric on his new babs. That's awesome some Eric, We're
very happy for you. Well, Matt is blase. You know

(04:03):
how Matt feels about children. If you've been listening to
the show since day one.

Speaker 3 (04:06):
I just don't want my own exactly.

Speaker 2 (04:08):
He just he likes to give them back. He doesn't
even want to borrow them. He just wants to say
hi to them. I'll buy you presents.

Speaker 3 (04:17):
Move on, call me when you're old enough to drive
me home from the bar.

Speaker 2 (04:22):
There it is question. This is going to get deep
if something were to happen, would you raise my children?

Speaker 3 (04:29):
How old are they when you give them to me,
like tomorrow?

Speaker 2 (04:34):
Right now? They're eight and four.

Speaker 3 (04:35):
That's what I'm saying. So is this like tomorrow or
is this like in seven years?

Speaker 2 (04:39):
But they can wipe their own ass, so you know
you don't have to worry about that.

Speaker 3 (04:43):
I mean, yeah, naturally I would take them, but the fact.

Speaker 2 (04:46):
That you didn't do an immediate no just means the world.

Speaker 3 (04:48):
Well, no, I would have to figure out what it
means to take care.

Speaker 2 (04:53):
Of I mean, it's similar to prison. Three hots and
a cot, they'll be fine.

Speaker 3 (04:58):
I thought you were saying that taking care of them
similar to being in prison, because you can't do fuck
all of them than take care of them.

Speaker 2 (05:03):
I wanted to say that, but I felt like it
might come across as a little mean. Also, my youngest
daughter's former teacher, I know, listens to this show. I
don't know if it's sporadic or she's like, oh, let
me listen to all the episodes. So I don't want
her to think that. I think having children is like
living in a prison. This place is a living hell.

Speaker 3 (05:22):
I mean, I had made jokes about being bullied by
a fourteen year old shitze that required pills all the time.
It's pretty much like having a child, except this one
cannot wipe his own ass and couldn't tell me what
he wanted. He would just yell at me. So I
don't feel like two children that far off. When they
can speak the English language at least well enough to
say if they're hungry, or they're tired, or they got

(05:44):
to take a shit.

Speaker 2 (05:45):
Or they want to go run around, they announce it
quite often they announce it. My dad was over last
week to celebrate my oldest daughter's belated birthday and we're
just sitting on the couch watching a movie. I forget
what she picked to watch, some cartoon or some sort,
and she just looks at him. This is my four

(06:07):
year old, poppy, do you have a butthole? That's my
daughter right there. Never been more proud. But yeah, Eric,
thanks for coming back and after your break and listening
to the show. Maybe in a few years you will
regale us with the story of how your child turned

(06:28):
to you and said, Dada, do you have a butthole?

Speaker 3 (06:31):
Or shit all over the table.

Speaker 2 (06:33):
I've never had that happen.

Speaker 3 (06:34):
It had to happen someone.

Speaker 2 (06:35):
Oh for sure. I have had a lot of projectile
vomit due to my youngest child. She just did not
She was like the Exorcist. She was the worst. It
got to the point where I was like, h Natalie
puked again. Huh and people would look at me like,
is she okay.

Speaker 3 (06:51):
I'm like, yep, just deuce being deuce. I don't know
what to tell you.

Speaker 2 (06:54):
Yeah, yeah, just give her some water so she doesn't
get the.

Speaker 3 (06:57):
Hot because it's salting crack and water.

Speaker 2 (07:00):
Yeah. It's just like the opposite of a gremlin. Honestly,
she was. She was the absolute worst, and she still
is the worst when it comes to puking because she'll
just like, I'm not gonna get into it anyway. So, uh,
have your uh hebes been g beat at all this
week because I got quite a few.

Speaker 3 (07:16):
Yeah, I mean I had those jalapeno popper Dorito's. Those
are pretty fucking delightful. I ate the seven layer dip pringles.
Those are really those are actually, really, really fucking good.
There was another kind of pringles too. I can't remember
what it was because I had the brisket ones the
last time we recorded.

Speaker 2 (07:32):
Yeah, you had tried those, you didn't try the other two,
I believe.

Speaker 3 (07:35):
Yeah, So the seven layer dip, I've eaten the entire tube.
They'll pickle. Those are really fucking good.

Speaker 2 (07:40):
I was concerned because you didn't. You forgot them, so
I thought maybe they're forgettable.

Speaker 3 (07:44):
No, not at all. I just I drank a lot seecond.

Speaker 2 (07:48):
That's totally fine.

Speaker 3 (07:48):
I respect that someone's gotta do it. That. Yeah, that's
all I got for for now.

Speaker 2 (07:53):
So I said this before we started recording recording. I'm
a big coffee fan, but coffee is not a fan
of wah.

Speaker 3 (08:01):
So coffee and I have something in common. Yeah, I'm sorry,
I'm not.

Speaker 2 (08:07):
Though, No, that's quite right. That was a good singer
right in the heart.

Speaker 3 (08:13):
Right in your baboon heart.

Speaker 2 (08:15):
My bad boon heart.

Speaker 3 (08:16):
Know what? Yeah, all right, it works.

Speaker 2 (08:19):
At least it wasn't like my babboon ass.

Speaker 3 (08:24):
Your big red baboon ass.

Speaker 2 (08:26):
I wonder why, you know what, In all of my
nature documentaries and things that I've watched with my children,
Planet Earth's and all that shit, I have never found
out why baboons have red asses?

Speaker 3 (08:37):
Too bad?

Speaker 2 (08:39):
Click clackity, here we go.

Speaker 3 (08:40):
All I put is why do b a b and
at auto filled to baboons have red butts?

Speaker 2 (08:47):
I like it. We're an educational podcast.

Speaker 3 (08:49):
I'm going to add that to the tag female baboons
have read swollen bottoms as a visual sign of their fertility,
indicating their ready their readiness to mate. So when you
see a big right bab boon ass, don't actually fuck
a baboon ass. I'm just saying that's that's what it's.

Speaker 2 (09:05):
I hate all the words coming out of your mouth
right now.

Speaker 3 (09:07):
Didn't fucking get back to the show.

Speaker 2 (09:11):
So coffee, I love coffee. Coffee doesn't like me. So
for the last you know, twenty years or so, I
have been in a really toxic relationship with coffee, knowing
that it's gonna hurt me, but occasionally, probably more often
than I should, divulging in said caffeinated beverage and just
lots of pain. It took me till I was almost

(09:34):
thirty four years old, because I turned thirty four in
seven days. Actually to it's in your calendar, don't worry,
don't get panicky. No, I just went cross eyed.

Speaker 3 (09:44):
No, my I started to twitch, and I was like,
where the fuck I know it's in my calendar. I
just saw it, not the other day, you're one.

Speaker 2 (09:51):
I just went right in, like just went right in.
Jesus Christ, I wish this was a video podcast. I
tried decaf for the first time, because I was always
told that decaf is still caffeinated, so most people who
have reactions to caffeinated coffee, decaf doesn't really it's not
really any different. Lies. I have been drinking the shit

(10:15):
out of decaf cold brew, and I'm fine, and I'm
able to enjoy the fruits of the world, the bean
water as it were. So that he beat my GB's
quite a bit because I feel like a functioning person.
I don't need caffeine to function, but I like the
taste and it makes me sad.

Speaker 3 (10:32):
You have to rub it in that some of us
require caffeine to function.

Speaker 2 (10:36):
No, I mean, if you do, I'm sorry. I probably
would benefit from it, but my heart might not.

Speaker 3 (10:43):
I feel like if I just stopped long enough to
let it like run out right and need it, I
shouldn't even say that, Like I don't feel like I
drink coffee and I'm like, fuck, yuh, let's party through
this day. So I like coffee, Yeah, no, you.

Speaker 2 (10:56):
Can just enjoy it. Yeah, yeah, you can always switch
it up to decaf.

Speaker 3 (11:01):
It's harder to find like different varieties of good tasting
coffee that are in decaf.

Speaker 2 (11:06):
That's my only thing I will let you know, because
I just found this company via Amazon, I think. Sorry, guys,
I still shop at Amazon. It's the one oligarchy that
I still subscribe to. Yeah, we all do, so let's
not pretend like we don't. I don't shop a Target anymore.
So whatever, that's just because it's too expensive and they're big.
It's but yeah, there's I forget the name of the company.

(11:28):
I could just look in my fucking previous orders and
make it easy. And if I was prepared for the show,
I would know this because I was kind of feeling
that way too. I'm like, you know, this is really
fun and all, but like it's all just straight coffee
and occasionally I like a little flava. So this place
is called Crazy Cups via Amazon, and I got their

(11:50):
caramel vanilla and they have a bunch of different decaf varieties,
so I'm excited to try those.

Speaker 3 (11:58):
Oh yeah, but I don't. I don't like flavored coffee,
and I don't have a currig because I drink like
a half a pot like a fucking adult.

Speaker 2 (12:05):
No, they have bags, but they also have just yeah,
calm down, they also have I'm just saying that the
flavor I got was caramel vanilla, so you can get
butter babel, pecan, caramel, eggnog, caribbean coconut, chocolate, hazelnut chocolate, raspberry,
holiday spice, pumpkin spice.

Speaker 3 (12:25):
Do you know what flavor of coffee You didn't mention
what black coffee?

Speaker 1 (12:32):
Uh?

Speaker 3 (12:32):
Maxwell House, No, Maxwell House is fucking dog dirt. I
was torn between dog dick and just saying dirt, so
we don't net dog dirt. Dog dick dirt, dog dick dirt. Yeah, dog.

Speaker 2 (12:48):
Well, it was either that or nothing at the store
because they didn't have furnitures. And the best part of
waking up is not shitting my head.

Speaker 3 (12:56):
Fucking oh man, do you know who Naper Bigley is?
Stand up comedian. He has a fucking I think it's
an older bit, but it's a He just says, if
the best part of waking up is folders in your cup,
I don't want to wake up.

Speaker 2 (13:09):
See here's the thing. Folders to me is just nostalgia
because like in the nineties, that was the most popular
coffee brand and that commercial, you know, that jingle, and
then the weird Christmas commercials.

Speaker 3 (13:21):
Yes, that are just yeah where the brother and the
sister are clearly trying to fuck in the kitchen, but
then the dad shows up.

Speaker 2 (13:26):
Yeah, it's like, what's going on here? Timmy's home? Yeah,
I bet Timmy's home, so decaf coffee, he be's my GB's.
This is gonna be really corny and you're gonna roll
your eyes at me. But because it's springtime and even
though the pollen is a murdering a bitch, I fucking
love gardening.

Speaker 3 (13:43):
Can you please come and make my garden not suck?
And by my garden, I mean Alissa's garden, but by
Alyssa's garden, it becomes my garden because it's just everything's
my problem.

Speaker 2 (13:52):
It's very simple to have a very low maintenance garden,
like what.

Speaker 3 (13:56):
Does she like vegetables like she did green peppers I
Shrek carrots when you're peppers or kilipino peppers, Like, nothing difficult.
We even have a fucking bed. It's just that she
doesn't go out there and pull the weeds because when
it gets hot, she doesn't want to be outside because
of the bug. I don't want to fucking pull weeds
because I don't like fucking pulling weeds. It's also not
my garden, but then it becomes my problem. And then
when I try to take care of but I pull

(14:17):
out a plant on acient because we just so god
damned all that you can fuck on the all that,
and then I still hear about it may or may
not have actually happened last year.

Speaker 2 (14:23):
Okay, Well, number one, next time you get an Amazon package,
save the cardboard, flatten it and put it on top
of the bed and wet it and kill the weeds.

Speaker 3 (14:31):
Good.

Speaker 2 (14:32):
Yeah, So if you want to one of an easy
way to kill weeds is to just do a weed blocker.
I would suggest doing this at the end of this
season so that next season you won't have a lot
of maintenance. But you could dig. I mean, but here's
the thing. It requires some digging and you have to
kind of clear out what you already have. So if
you dig and then put cardboard down the cardboard, as

(14:55):
long as there isn't like you know, obviously like tape
and stuff still attached to the cardboard, it will create
a whe blocker and you can just put top soil
on top of it, plant your stuff and you will
have significantly less weed.

Speaker 3 (15:07):
Well, I think part of the problem is is that
she used rabbit. I want to say fertilizer. But that's
not the true, but it is. It was just like
the litter box animal. I know, I know, but it was.
It was the litter box. So it's whatever they eat
the shit. So there's probably seeds in the shit, which
then weeds. And it's also yeah, so like it's yeah.

Speaker 2 (15:27):
You also live in a very like open area with
birds and animals and deer that you know, get these
things on them and they drop them and all that stuff.
So weeds are inevitable. But you know, there are ways
to deter You could, honestly if you did, if you
wanted to start fresh on a garden, get white vinegar,

(15:48):
sprinkle it all, get it, put in a spray ball,
spray the base of all the weeds. Leave it for
a couple of days. You'll come out and everything will
be dead. It'll be like literally shriveled up and you
won't have to pull anything, and it'll just decomposed because
it dries it out through the root. Okay, and it's
a non harmful weed killer, and you know, easy peasy.

Speaker 3 (16:10):
Because shit shits. Well, I think it's gonna snow again
this weekend, but shit should start growing here shortly so
that might not be the worst that you just go
out through the spray bottle and BUKACKI that bitch.

Speaker 2 (16:20):
White vinegar is so cheap. It's like three dollars for
like a huge gallon.

Speaker 3 (16:25):
I know, we use it to clean our coffee pot,
like our coffee maker. It actually told me to do it,
and then also for pickles.

Speaker 2 (16:32):
Yeah, there you go. It's very versatile. That's what cleaner
used to be. Like your grandparents, like our great great grandparents,
you know, they were wiping their countertops with vinegar because
that's a cleaner, you know whatever.

Speaker 3 (16:45):
Man, Just imagine going into someone's house and just it
just reeks a vinegar.

Speaker 2 (16:49):
If you didn't know any beggar. Everybody smelled like vinegar.

Speaker 3 (16:51):
Really, Oh man, I wonder my grandmaways smelled like vinegar
and mothballs. She just smelled like mothballs. I made the
vinegar part up.

Speaker 2 (16:59):
But yeah, I love gardening. Uh, we're cleaning up the
backyard now next weekend. Jackie's actually coming over and helping, uh,
because she wants to help garden. And I was like, hey, man,
I got a lawn to mow and weeds to pull,
so your lawn, Yeah, we've got a lot of rain,
So like, my front yard needs to be mowed a

(17:19):
little bit just to kind of make it not look
like a fucking haphazard house. Out Front. Out back is
like myth and out back is a complete disaster because
I forgot too.

Speaker 3 (17:30):
You're right, Yeah, it was most of my art's standing water.
I was turning around to make sure there's still standing water,
like I thought it was in a fucking way. It
was only like forty degrees to day.

Speaker 2 (17:39):
Yeah, I forgot to cut down all my perennial uh
shrubs or not shrubs, but they're this greenery that I
have planted all over my backyard that comes back every year.
These like big hostas and Lamb's ear and other shit
I can't remember the names of, but all I literally
have to do.

Speaker 3 (17:57):
What's that I was gonna say. The first time I
heard hospit, I thought it was called.

Speaker 2 (18:00):
The hostel, the hostile plant. I could give you a
shit ton of I could split those at the end
of the season and mail them to you. Get a
shit ton of greenery in your yard. You never have
to worry about it. The only thing you have to
do is cut it down at the end of the
season and then it grows back.

Speaker 3 (18:14):
I hate our landscaping, but there's so much of it
I refuse to pay to redo it. So I literally
spray everything that shouldn't be a bush or a shrub
with ground clear because I just, yeah, I don't fucking care,
but I care enough that I don't want like overgrown weeds.

Speaker 2 (18:34):
No, I totally get that.

Speaker 3 (18:35):
I need to like do rock. I need to get
like rock and shit, and I need some mulch in
the background where the bed is because I killed everything
to put her fucking thing there, because it's right next
to the house. I just don't. I hate I hate
fucking landscape. I hate it so much. I did it
for a job. I don't fucking like doing it.

Speaker 2 (18:50):
I forgot that you did do that for a job,
But yeah, I forgot to at the end of last
season to cut everything down. So it's just all like
flopped over and I'm like, ah, so now my my
springtime cleaning is a little bit more strenuous than I
wanted it to be. But yeah, those are my hebi
GBI's I have like a heb It didn't GB, but

(19:12):
it was okay. The spicy chicken patties from Aldie the
spice is top tier. The consistency of the patty reminds
me of a hot dog, and it wigs me.

Speaker 3 (19:24):
Out a little bit like it. Okay, is it just
Aldie Brand.

Speaker 2 (19:28):
Or yeah, I'm pretty sure it's just Aldie Brand. But yeah,
those are those are my hebby GBI's and a heb
not a jeeb honorable mention me an honorable heb an
honorable heb of a spicy chicken patty from Aldie. But yes,

(19:49):
now that we have sufficiently talked to your ear off
about everything except this movie. This week on Monster Madness
we cover the nineteen eighty film Island Claws.

Speaker 1 (20:00):
They got there, good lord?

Speaker 2 (20:07):
Look, yeah, let's uh, let's have a look at this.

Speaker 3 (20:12):
I guess.

Speaker 2 (20:14):
Just speaks. Here's the one that goes on the back.

Speaker 3 (20:17):
Let's speak right here.

Speaker 2 (20:18):
That's unbelievable.

Speaker 3 (20:20):
It's unbelievable.

Speaker 1 (20:22):
It can be done, doctor McNeil. Could this be a
result of your research? Maybe no, maybe not.

Speaker 2 (20:30):
It may be another crab of the same species that
we've never seen before.

Speaker 3 (20:38):
John, I think we may have done it.

Speaker 2 (20:40):
All right, all right, let's not go breaking our arms
patting ourselves on the back.

Speaker 1 (20:46):
We need proof.

Speaker 3 (20:47):
This his proof, John, it's happening.

Speaker 2 (20:52):
Now. I had never heard of this movie at all.
I had been we had something else in the docket
called night Wings, which was really hard number one for
me to acquire, and I was unable to acquire. I know,
you would probably have been able to hunt it down.
I did find it on YouTube. I fell asleep within
the first fifteen minutes of that movie, so I was like,

(21:13):
that's probably not like the vibe I want to go with.

Speaker 3 (21:16):
What time in the day did you watch this?

Speaker 2 (21:19):
Uh, seven pm, so my bedtime.

Speaker 3 (21:21):
Yeah, fair enough.

Speaker 2 (21:22):
I did go to try and watch it again. So
it might appear somewhere in this season. It might be
even next week. We don't know. I never know. Matt's
face just completely went from.

Speaker 3 (21:31):
Smile to drop peak behind the curtain every week, Erica
just says, what taking your record, And I say, just
tell me what to watch and when.

Speaker 2 (21:40):
So, yeah, Matt never knows what's going on because this
season is so filled with like the animal movies and
then the holiday movies and like the bonus episodes. Because
I'm really just trying to watch all of the fucking
movies that I have acquired or you know, have learned
about so Clause just kind of came out of nowhere,

(22:02):
and what a surprise it was. So Island Clause is
rated PG. It was filmed somewhere around nineteen seventy nine.
There isn't an exact date. It was released in November
of nineteen eighty. It falls into the horror and sci
fi genre and has a run time of eighty nine minutes.
It is directed by Hernon Car cardinists I don't know

(22:23):
it was written by And this is a really interesting fact.
The story was done by Jack Codin and also Rico
Browning did the screenplay. Do you have any familiality with
the name Rico Browning?

Speaker 3 (22:37):
No, I'm more of a Rico suave kind of guy. Rico,
I'm glad you.

Speaker 2 (22:43):
Of course I do. I got my finger on the
pulse at all times.

Speaker 3 (22:47):
You're also a child.

Speaker 2 (22:48):
Wow, calm down. I watched I Love the Eighties on
VH one. I know everything. Rico Browning was the man
in the Creature of the Black Lagoon suit yep, and
I think he actually just recently passed away. He was
in I think most of the Creature movies, but he

(23:08):
was the main diver in the Creature from the Black
lagoon that is your creature. And he wrote the screenplay
for this movie. It was produced by Prison Productions distributed
by International Film Market. The music was by Jamie Mendoza
Nava And yeah, we got the main cast as Robert Lansing,

(23:29):
Steve Hanks. I don't know if there's a relation to
Tom or Chet or Colin Nita Talbot, Barry Nelson and
Joe McDonald, people that you've never ever heard of. We
only have one tagline, and this I don't even know
if it is an accurate tagline. I had to do
some deep diving for this one. No pun intended. The
terror of the deep rises again. Okay, do we even

(23:53):
have a budget for this movie?

Speaker 3 (23:54):
Bat boy? Did? I have to do a lot of
digging to find it. And you know where I found it.
It was almost at the complete bottom of the IMDb
page underneath that did you know? And the only reason
that it fell under that did you know? Is because
of what you may or may not have a manuche
that I'm going to destroy. But the film budget was
four million dollars, which is just about fifteen and a
half million now, and one million of that was the

(24:17):
crab alone.

Speaker 2 (24:18):
I mean it was a really impressive.

Speaker 3 (24:20):
Fucking nineteen eighty million dollar crab Hey.

Speaker 2 (24:24):
Man, hey man, I got nothing. Yeah, look at us.

Speaker 3 (24:30):
I don't know what to say to that.

Speaker 2 (24:31):
I'm sorry, near I but that is a lot of
money for a random crab movie. I will say it's odd.
But here's the thing. There's not really a uh there's
no Wikipedia page for this movie is relatively unknown. Uh.
So we are on a small a small flora island

(24:51):
where a marine biology biology lab is experiment oh my god,
experimenting with radiation to accelerate the growth of crust as
a potential solution for world hunger. Now, motherfuckers, I already
have a problem with you. What about people with a
shellfish allergy? You only thinking about yourselves? Because I'm hungry too.

(25:13):
The local economy depends on crab fishing, and the scientists,
well meaning but naive, think they're doing something noble. But surprise, surprise,
things go wrong, really wrong. Local fishermen begin reporting odd
behavior in the crab population. Then one by one, people
start disappearing. Some are found dead, others are just gone.
At first, it's chalked up to a drunken accident or

(25:35):
wild animals, but viewers know better. We've already seen a
giant crab in action. The creature makes its first big
reveal in this classic B movie fashion, partially obscured in shadow,
but huge and menacing. It crushes a house. People are
slow to believe what's really going on, so throughout this
entire movie, you basically it was. There was not a

(25:57):
lot of meat to this movie. It was basically other
than the.

Speaker 3 (26:00):
Million dollar crab. That's a lot of meat right there.

Speaker 2 (26:03):
Buzzinga You feel good about that?

Speaker 3 (26:05):
Nope, I don't. That was sounded a lot funnier in
my head. I'm sorry, now, you're totally good.

Speaker 2 (26:10):
Here's the thing. There was nothing about this movie to
me that was super memorable except the ending I cracked
up at. But I didn't hate it. And I know
you're gonna like smack me in the mouth. But so
you just had these scientists, and you know, of course

(26:31):
there's the blonde scientist who's flirting with the male scientist,
and YadA, YadA, YadA. There's always some sort of tension
and love and blah blah blah. And then people start
seeing a massive amount of crabs coming to shore. And
the only thing that I want to point out that
was mildly menacing quote unquote about this movie was the

(26:53):
of the crabs walking.

Speaker 3 (26:54):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (26:55):
I liked that a lot. I'm like, that's creepy as fuck.
I don't like it. It's making me settled. So it
did its job, but tensions begin to rise between the
scientists and the town folk. Moody, who's the lead scientist,
takes charge in or no, wait, who's Moody? I have
that ridden that. Moody is a crusty local who is
suspicious of the lab. He begins to blame the lab

(27:16):
for whatever's happening, accusing them of playing god and unleashing
something unnatural into the world. Meanwhile, the crab attack The
crab attacks escalate. We see a bartender get snapped in
half midshift. What does he get snapped in half or
just crushed? Either which way he did. A group of
kids exploring the beach become bait. There's even a moment
where a drunk guy fights a crab and loses badly.

(27:38):
McNeil and his team finally realize that the radiation experiment
has caused a mutation, a singular giant crab with heightened
intelligence and insatiable hunger is afoot. It's not just killing
for food, it's targeting humans with something like malice. With
communication cut off, the townsfolk are left to fend for themselves.
The survivors, scientists, townfolk, and even Moody reluctantly team up.

(28:02):
There's a showdown on the beach crab versus townspeople where
they try to trap and kill the crab using dynamite
and fire. Now, this crab is the size of my
house at this point. It is a big boy, and
I love him.

Speaker 3 (28:17):
I shall name all.

Speaker 2 (28:19):
Would you name what? Were you gonna name him? Was
it better? No? What was it?

Speaker 3 (28:23):
I hadn't figured it out. That's why I was talking slowly.
I was trying to figure it out us before I
got there. But I would probably name him something like Pinchy,
which is just a Simpsons reference.

Speaker 2 (28:34):
I do like Pinchy.

Speaker 3 (28:36):
Pinch's a good one. Snappy, Oh, I like snappy, crunchy, tasty,
crusty crusty. That's crusty crunch.

Speaker 2 (28:43):
That's a double. That's a double though, because Krusty the
clown crusty crab.

Speaker 3 (28:49):
That's true.

Speaker 2 (28:50):
A lot of SpongeBob with my kids lately.

Speaker 3 (28:52):
So at least you qualified that with with my kids
because of us of SpongeBob, I might make fun of you.
Although people your age grew up watching it, so that
makes sense.

Speaker 2 (29:04):
Oh yeah, no, I mean it came out in two thousand,
I think nineteen ninety nine or two thousand, so that
was I was a big SpongeBob fan when I was younger.
So rewatching the first season with my kids, I'm like, wow,
I forgot so much and it's enjoyable. It's better than
watching Blippy for the eight thousand times. It's something new,
and I realized I cannot watch The Simpsons with my

(29:25):
children anymore, aside from the Treehouse of Horror, because they
just say they repeat all the awful shit that's on
that show.

Speaker 3 (29:33):
You know. While you were talking, I had a thought,
I've never eaten at a blimpy.

Speaker 2 (29:38):
The fuck's a blimpy?

Speaker 3 (29:39):
Oh okay, it's a subplace. I didn't realize that it wasn't.
It's probably there's only one in the area and it's
an Oshkosh and I really probably pass it every time
I go to wrestling. Let's see here, what's you go?

Speaker 2 (29:52):
Blimpy subs look like cold panini. Oh wow? This is
like a legit.

Speaker 3 (29:56):
Yeah. Yeah, no, that's what I'm saying. Like it's a
place and I'd heard about it a bunch before. I
was never gone because there aren't. God damn, it just
show me a fucking mad I'm sure. Oh never mind,
I'm sorry. It's there's like, now, you don't fucking tell me.
There's like six of them. Wow, there's one outside of Minneapolis.
There's one in Wisconsin, which is an Oshkosh, there's two

(30:19):
in Iowa, and then there's a handful in Michigan. And
that's all that their thing is showing me.

Speaker 2 (30:25):
Uh no, there's some in New Jersey. There's one right
like ten to fifteen minutes for me.

Speaker 3 (30:29):
Oh, for whatever reason, it only shows me three state
Vicinity Sea is everything. But I'll be dickerd Yeah, maybe
I'll actually go because normally I end up going to
Jimmy John's because there's one like three minutes from where
we do wrestling in osh I just hate not knowing
what to get. I've never been there, so that's kind
of a thing.

Speaker 2 (30:47):
Well, they got your classic the Blimpy Best, which looks
just like a double meat.

Speaker 3 (30:53):
Yeah, but their limited time offers like a fucking tuna
that does not look real.

Speaker 2 (30:59):
Oh yeah, these all look fake.

Speaker 3 (31:00):
Well they should to an extent.

Speaker 2 (31:03):
No, I wanted to look like how I'm going to
eat it.

Speaker 3 (31:05):
The buffalo chicken sandozle doesn't look half bad. Sicilian looks solid.
The Ultimate Club, the bt l A. There's a Philly
cheese they trust.

Speaker 2 (31:15):
I was just about to say, the Philly cheese steak
looks so sad.

Speaker 3 (31:18):
Yeah, because fucking your their digital assistant made the photo.

Speaker 2 (31:21):
I'm sure O that bt L A looks fire right.

Speaker 3 (31:25):
What you're at for premium sub?

Speaker 2 (31:28):
Oh that's what the A is? Avocado spread? Yeah, buddy,
I'm there. Oh yeah, yeah, I was wondering what the
A was. There is a Hogy place by my dad
that if you're ever in a HOGI place hog. Yeah,
that's that's I just wanted to hear you say, hey, y,
it comes out in certain words water water.

Speaker 3 (31:49):
That's fine. I understand. I do it too. It's okay.
I know.

Speaker 2 (31:52):
I love when you say the word bag.

Speaker 3 (31:54):
Nope, not doing it.

Speaker 2 (31:56):
Okay, that's fine, that's fine. I'll get you to say it.

Speaker 3 (31:59):
It's fine.

Speaker 2 (32:00):
Yeah. There's a sub place by my father h called
thinks Hogies. And Uh, they're really popular in Taconi, which
is an area by me thinks.

Speaker 3 (32:13):
Thinks, I want to look at the menu while you're talking.

Speaker 2 (32:15):
That's why you should. They have all of their their
sandwiches are named after neighborhoods in Northeast Philadelphia, and they
all look fantabulous. I've had it one time and I
still think about it. They have a Thanksgiving they call
it the Thanksgiving that I've always wanted to try. I've

(32:36):
just never had the opportunity.

Speaker 3 (32:38):
I've heard Wawa has like a Thanksgiving sandwich or some
shit that they do. The gobbler. Yeah, I've heard some
New York comedians talk about it a bunch, and it
sounds like it's something I need to make happen in
my life.

Speaker 2 (32:50):
For the novelty of it. Yes, I used to get
the gobbler bowls all the time because I grew up
across the street from ah Wah Wah. And it's basically
mashed potato. Now mind you wah wah version of mashed potatoes,
which is probably insta mashed potatoes stuffing.

Speaker 3 (33:05):
I know.

Speaker 2 (33:06):
I'm just saying, turkey slices, gravy, and you can get
like a cranberry like topping on it. I mean, they're
not horrible, but having the palette that I do now
not to sound like a complete utter snob, i'd be like,
this is gross.

Speaker 3 (33:22):
Have I ever told you about the Kumas Thanksgiving burger?
So it's called Sleep. She's a band called Sleep, but
it's a turkey patty, tempora fried stuffing, turkey gravy, fried sage,
cranberry sauce on a principle to It's so fucking good.
It's everything. Every November it's the burger of the month.

Speaker 2 (33:40):
It is so good, tempura fried stuffing. Holy shit.

Speaker 3 (33:48):
Yeah, it's fucking good. If you ever come visit in
the month of no mever, the month of November will
go down there.

Speaker 2 (33:57):
Oh yeah, I'm coming to friends Giving one of these days.

Speaker 3 (33:59):
I mean, if if you come this here, it'll just
be us because they're doing probably having people over for
my birthday, which you're more than welcome to come to.
But I think Kevin and Johnny are coming from New York,
so our house might be a little full.

Speaker 2 (34:12):
Nice, I'll cuddle up with Kevin. I don't care. So
now with the communications cut off, I'm sorry, I'm just
completely derailed by the tempora. Nothing so good. So the
final battle is clunky but fun, complete with shouting, running,
and lots of close ups of a twitching crab leg.

(34:33):
Eventually the beast is blown up. No it's not, isn't
He like just stabbed in the head. See, this is
why you can't This is why you can't trust our
digital assistant. So basically in this movie, the crab gets
like stabbed in the head multiple times. There's no blowing up.
And then this was my favorite part in the entire movie,
which made it go from a nay to a gay

(34:54):
for me. I shit, you not so again. You just
see a lot of crabs running across the island lot
in this movie, Like that's as scary as it gets.
And then a giant crab you know, demolishes a house.
It's you know, picking up people, chomping on them. And
at the very end, when they're fighting it with guns
and throwing shit at it and whatever, and all this

(35:16):
chaos ensues and they kill it. It literally just freeze
frames with all of the townsfolk and scientists that have
been fighting this giant ass crab just staring at it
and just freeze frames. And the credits start. Do you
ever laughed so hard?

Speaker 3 (35:31):
Did you watch a lot of South Park? Ever?

Speaker 2 (35:32):
Probably like more of the early stuff, but not so
much like La, which is I remember, you know, the
towy and the poop that's Christmas had Ith like I
know that, I know.

Speaker 3 (35:46):
Yeah, So all I thought about this entire movie was
the crab people from South Park where they just chant
crab people, crab people look like crab talk like people,
and that's all I can think about. And even as
we're talking about this, that still is just playing in
my head, so I figured it was worth mentioning. It
should be early one, so you may or may have
seen it and just don't remember.

Speaker 2 (36:06):
It, but yeah, probably not. But the last episode of
the South Park that I remember watching and like crying
laughing is when Cartman land and it's either Kyle or
Stan try to hop the fence and pop a hemorrhoid
and he's just screaming at the top of his lung
like god a guy pat like just like so good.

Speaker 3 (36:25):
I would recommend, because you have access to Paramount Plus,
go watch the South Park ones that are out there,
because they're very timely and relevant as to everything that
we've been dealing with the past couple of years because
I don't think they do like full seasons anymore. They
just do like forty five minute specials a couple times
a year.

Speaker 2 (36:39):
Nice.

Speaker 3 (36:39):
Yeah, but there was one. There's like a Nozampic episode. Uh,
there's a OnlyFans episode. Literally every topic that has been
a hot button, they've done an episode about it.

Speaker 2 (36:50):
I love the behind the scenes a lot when you
see the the creators like doing the voices and like
I realized Bill Hager did a lot of voices on
that show, and he's just like piss he cannot handle
the other thing.

Speaker 3 (37:02):
Yeah, if you got to watch the outtakes of them
trying to do the voices and like just losing their shit,
they're fucking hilarious.

Speaker 2 (37:07):
So good. So yeah, Matt, would you yay, nay or
slay Island Crabs Island Claws Now got crazy?

Speaker 3 (37:17):
Man? Like I didn't. I did not hate it. I
will give it that. I will never watch this movie again.
If someone very specifically was like, I want to watch
a horror movie from the eighties that's about crabs, Like,
there you go, I'll give it. I'll tip my hat
to the fact that it's the only crab centric horror
movie that I've ever heard of, and they really fucking

(37:38):
went all out. So I will ya nay it. I
will not yea it. I will not nay it, and
I definitely would not slay it.

Speaker 2 (37:45):
I think that's fair. I think yaa is fair. I'm
gonna leave it on my plex. This would be I
think I said this. I think when we watched Grizzly,
I said that this is like a perfect movie that
you would go to a drive in too, and like
pay a buck and it would be like back to
back like Grizzly Island Claws, just these crazy off the
wall horror movies that aren't scary at all, but they're fun.

(38:07):
So yeah, I would say ya as well, would you
survive a mini crab attack and or a large crab attack?
Because here's my thoughts. I have been harassed by a
crab before. My neighbor would go crabbing and then he
tricked me into going into his yard and he dumped

(38:27):
all the crabs that he got and they started chasing me. Now,
me being like six years old, a little traumatizing, okay,
little coming at me scary though, I didn't realize that
all of their hands were rubber band before, so he
knew I was not in any danger. Shout out to
my old neighbor Ted, who was missing his big toe
because he cut it off when he mowed his lawn once.
But that's beside the point. Giant crab, I feel like

(38:50):
I would survive because it can't walk that fast. It
didn't really move when it was the eighties. I feel
like I would just have to get in its spot,
and I'm fine. That guy was totally fine standing on
top of it and stabbing it in the head. It
can't reach you, can't get you. I'm just saying, seems

(39:10):
like a viable option. So what do you think would
you survive?

Speaker 3 (39:15):
I feel like I survived the excuse me, the normal
crab size. Probably. I don't know if the giant one
truly is slow or doesn't move. Yeah fuck, they shout,
I'm out.

Speaker 2 (39:28):
But think about like thirty crabs swarming you.

Speaker 3 (39:31):
You're swarm right, but they're not. Crabs aren't super fast.
Even if there's thirty of them. I got to assume
I can kick one or two away and just move.
I understand that there are caveats and other things involved,
but it's like if it's just thirty crab that I
can I can can't get her around because this isn't
a video. I'm trying to trying to give my reasoning

(39:53):
and Eric is just holding her cat up again and
just it was very happy, very content.

Speaker 2 (39:59):
He is very very content. He's gonna fall asleep soon. Uh.

Speaker 3 (40:03):
Small crabs, yes, big crab maybe, because it'll depend on
speed and agility of the big crab.

Speaker 2 (40:10):
I mean, it's not coming at you like the mind flayer.

Speaker 3 (40:12):
You know, it's not like no, but you figure like
all it has to do is jive once and then
spoop like grab you, like it gets its claws on you.
You're done. Well.

Speaker 2 (40:21):
Actually I should probably revise because I am I do
have a shellfish allergy. I probably would fucking be nade
right out of here because they just can just put
like a little oot in my mouth and I'm dead
just saying. So we have a couple of minutia's. There's
really not a lot. Matt mentioned the one the film.
It was filmed on a budget of four million dollars,
with the giant crab alone costing one million. Unable to

(40:43):
find a distributor, the film never had a theatrical release,
it sat on the shelf before debuting on late night
television in nineteen eighty four under the title Night of
the Claw. The screenplay was written by Jack Cowden and
Rico Browning, the creators of family friendly films like Flipper
in nineteen sixty four, nineteen sixty three and Salty We Got.

(41:05):
Robert Lansing and Barry Nelson previously appeared in the episode
of The Twilight Zone during the show's fifth season called
The Longmorrow and Stop Over in Quiet Town, both episodes
having to do with isolation. Herror author Guy and Smith
said this film was based on his successful Crab Killer
Crab novels Wow, the first being Knight of the Crabs,

(41:26):
published in nineteen seventy six. Island Clause, which told a
similar story about giant crabs on the coast of Florida,
was an adaptation of his work, though neither Smith nor
his novel were credited on the film. Yeah, it looks
like they stole some shit island Crab Island Clause. I
want to call it island Crabs. Why didn't they call
it iron Crab Island Crabs Island Clause is just hurt

(41:51):
in membrain.

Speaker 3 (41:51):
Well Island Clause is not a great name like Island Crab,
Night of the Crab, Night of the Claw. Any of
those is better. But you know, there must have been
some reason.

Speaker 2 (42:02):
I do somewhat love that there is, and by someone,
I mean a lot. I love that there's a man
out there named guy En Smith that was like, you
know what my muses evil crabs, just clicking away. Well
he probably had typewriter, but or was it that clacking away?
Because like I, this is another thing that he beats

(42:23):
my GBI's. I love going to use bookshops, and there's
one in New Jersey called Second Time Books, and it's amazing.
If you're a book lover, that is the place to go.
I went there this past weekend with my cousin and
her family, uh and with Brooke, and we had a
gay old time. Oh real quick. You know what else

(42:44):
he beats my GB's Italian rice balls? Oh right, I
don't remember what They're actually called rang chini or something.
Look them up if you ever see them on a menu.
I cannot believe I forgot to tell you this. So
there was a food truck at the town. It's called Francoccis.

(43:05):
I think it's this quaint little town. They do like
a craft show every Saturday. They have a bunch of
antique shops, you know, coffee shops, stuff like that. It's
really a great time. It's a really great place. And
then they have that bookshop. They had an Italian food
truck and this guy did fried ravioli's which were banging,
they were so good. And then he had rice balls

(43:28):
and I had to look up the actual name, which
is rin chini. I think you looked it up as well.

Speaker 3 (43:32):
Yep.

Speaker 2 (43:33):
It's literally a deep fried rice ball and he puts in.
He had options of like spinach and ricotta. He had
cheese steak, he had chicken palm, he had the Classico,
he had cheese. They were literally sold out of everything
except the cheese steak and the spinach one. So I
just got cheese steak that was so good. You will

(43:54):
love them. So if you ever see those out and about.

Speaker 3 (43:57):
Yeah, there are restaurants here that have them. They're just
ones that I normally go to because I don't go
to like sit down Italian restaurant set often because they overpriced.
You know. There's that, And I was trying to make
a joke. I got nothing, so we can just move on.

Speaker 2 (44:10):
Well, here's my thing with it. Like Italian restaurants, I'm
going to spend way less making the dish myself and
not to be like toot my own horn or sound
like a snob. Again, I think I'm a fairly decent cook.

Speaker 3 (44:22):
The only reason I didn't just look up a recipe
is because you clearly have to deep fry it, and
I hate deep frying anything in my house. Error frying
probably won't get the same results. It's just a lot
of fucking around.

Speaker 2 (44:33):
Yeah, so it would be easier to be like, Oh,
this pizza place that I really like actually sells these,
let me try them.

Speaker 3 (44:38):
I was just gonna say, I think there are a
couple pizza places here apparently, well Fazzoli's popped up, but
I think that's just because it pulled Italian restaurants.

Speaker 2 (44:47):
But Italian. Yeah, but yeah. My whole point about talking
about this little town and then I just spiral is
like the bookshop that I go into. They have a
huge sci fi section and horror section that I really love.
But I was walking through this past Saturday, and I'm like,
looking at all of these really obscure sci fi and
fantasy novels and It's just like there is someone out

(45:08):
there that this is their favorite book of all time,
and nobody knows about it because it's so obscure. So
somewhere out there there's a huge guy end Smith fan
who's just like these crab novels. He'd be my Gemi's
ow billy. He's biting my foot. There's such a bitch.

Speaker 3 (45:26):
Ah.

Speaker 2 (45:27):
But yeah, I'm leaving that in. He bit me, but
I love him very much. Uh So, Yeah, that's gonna
do it for this episode of Monster Madness. Yeah, watch
out for them crabs.

Speaker 3 (45:40):
Man.

Speaker 2 (45:42):
Next time we're gonna be talking about some other movie,
whether it's a holiday movie and or a animal movie.
I don't know. I don't know what's going on anymore.
I just record things and then I edit them as
I can. But yeah, bye.

Speaker 3 (45:58):
Please send help.

Speaker 2 (46:03):
It looked like you had a great time last night.
Well I did not really.

Speaker 3 (46:09):
What you know, Lynn? Yeah? Sure? The girl who works
in the in the lot, something attacked her last night, mood.

Speaker 1 (46:16):
It tore up her arm to shreds. She's still unconscious.

Speaker 3 (46:19):
What the hell do you mean something? I don't know
where did it happen. It was out past Amos, out
in the woods. Who is some funny going on? Yeah,

(47:03):
and finish and finish fish

Speaker 2 (48:21):
Keep

All Episodes

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

Stuff You Should Know

Dateline NBC

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Island Claws (1980)

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

.css-r6mb8g{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:1;overflow:hidden;}Stuff You Should Know

Dateline NBC

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

All Episodes

Island Claws (1980)

Stuff You Should Know