February 14, 2025 • 47 mins
Happy day of LOVE, you monsters! Enjoy this bonus episode where we slice apart 1981's My Bloody Valentine!
Music:
Nu Alkemi$t - Bit Mac
Poltergeist
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Artwork:
Original logo and banner by Ian Gray
Illustrations by Phil Rood
Check out his website: philrood.com
His Ko-fi shop: https://ko-fi.com/philrood
His podcast The Picture Show!: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-picture-show-with-austin-and-phil-rood/id1523101342
Listener Advisory by Jackie Sauer
Find Jack’s work here:
Instagram: @jadedvader
https://www.thelastofuspodcast.com/
Sources:
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0082782/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_3_tt_7_nm_1_in_0_q_my%2520bloody%2520
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/monster-madness--4303842/support.
Music:
Nu Alkemi$t - Bit Mac
Poltergeist
Social Media:
Bluesky: @monstermadness@bsky.social
Instagram: @monstermadnesspod
Discord: https://discord.gg/PCP2ZmyWPE
Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/monstermadnesspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/monstermadnesspod
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@monstermadnesspod
Want to email us? Hit us up at: MonsterMadnessPodcast@gmail.com
Merch:
Teepublic: http://tee.pub/lic/zpJgzEGy3QA
Want to support the show?
Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/monstermadnesspod
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/monstermadness
Artwork:
Original logo and banner by Ian Gray
Illustrations by Phil Rood
Check out his website: philrood.com
His Ko-fi shop: https://ko-fi.com/philrood
His podcast The Picture Show!: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-picture-show-with-austin-and-phil-rood/id1523101342
Listener Advisory by Jackie Sauer
Find Jack’s work here:
Instagram: @jadedvader
https://www.thelastofuspodcast.com/
Sources:
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0082782/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_3_tt_7_nm_1_in_0_q_my%2520bloody%2520
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/monster-madness--4303842/support.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello there, fellow monster, Madness, schools and goblins. You're currently
hearing the voice of a girl with no name, and
it's here with very very clear intentions to sound the alarm.
Before you listen any further, beware that frightful spoilers and
deliciously explicit language lie, and for once you find yourself
in the midst of those telltale bumps in the night,
in the haunting hows of host laughter and cinematic judgment,
(00:22):
there is no turning back, Joos wisely.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Here.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
Where somebody left us for you, for me?
Speaker 4 (00:36):
Who was it?
Speaker 2 (00:37):
I don't know who was already inside when we got here.
Maybe got a secret Mayer. Huh you mean Mabel?
Speaker 5 (00:44):
Afraid not man?
Speaker 3 (00:48):
Oh no, oh no, don't look at me. I didn't
have a thing to do with it.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Oh well, hell, I've been looking for an excuse to
get off this miserable diet. Missus Hannigher has me on.
Thanks hard, Hey, there's one other thing I like better
than Christmas candy. It's Valentine's candy pass out. Hey, who's
that it?
Speaker 3 (01:11):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (01:14):
From the heart comes a warning filled with bloody good cheer.
Remember what happened? Here's the fourteenth draws near.
Speaker 6 (01:25):
Hi, Hello, and welcome to a special Valentine's Day edition
of Monster Madness, the podcast that knows Love hurts, but
not usually with the pickacks. But before we get.
Speaker 5 (01:35):
Into the episode, oh no, I have to fucking introduce you.
Speaker 6 (01:37):
I forgot MAT's here.
Speaker 4 (01:38):
You don't have to, but I think one to three
people out there enjoying my involvement.
Speaker 5 (01:44):
Is that three people?
Speaker 4 (01:48):
I know. I'm gonna get a text from him right
now saying I'm two people and that's the worst episode ever.
Speaker 6 (01:56):
Reference Before we get into the episode, the plugs. You
can find Monster manis on all your favorite podcasting platforms,
social media sites and things of that nature. Matt does
stream video games and occasionally I joined him, and you
can also stream drums. He also streams drum sessions from
time to time, so you could check that out on
our twitch channel as well as our YouTube. We upload
all of our streams there, so if you miss it,
(02:17):
that's my cat, you can catch it.
Speaker 5 (02:20):
Did you hear him me out?
Speaker 4 (02:21):
Nope? But you know what that means.
Speaker 6 (02:24):
Pushys, we need a pussy doogle segment where we just
talk about our animals. If you'd like to support this show,
You could do so in a many different ways, such
as Patreon, buying merch or donating to the show, leaving
a review ya blah blah blah. And also, guys send
us some emails, say hi, recommend something horror related, make
fun of us. I don't give a shit either which way,
We'll read it on the show, we'll chat about it.
(02:45):
We want to interact with a you. All the links
for everything will be posted in the show notes. Also, Matthew,
I don't even think you know happy one hundredth episode.
It's the episode of.
Speaker 5 (02:55):
Love Nice, real classy.
Speaker 6 (02:58):
But yeah, it's our one hundred episode of Monster Madness,
which is fucking bananas. I cannot believe we have done this.
We've done this over a hundred times because we have
redone episodes.
Speaker 4 (03:09):
It's very nice of you to word it that way.
But we can all just un We don't have to
lie to the people. I usually fuck something up, and
the end result is that we have to re record
things because sometimes when I'm drinking, I forget to hit
say I'm.
Speaker 6 (03:23):
Sure I fucked it up at least once or twice.
The Crampist episode the long for Lost crampis episode Gramps
with our wonderful Alyssa is you know, just lost to
the ether Man because I lost that audio.
Speaker 4 (03:40):
We could redo it.
Speaker 5 (03:41):
Yeah, we could do that this Christmas.
Speaker 6 (03:44):
Yeah, man, I'm already excited for Christmas again.
Speaker 4 (03:47):
Stop that?
Speaker 6 (03:48):
All right, Well, we're not gonna do too much of
the hubbub because this is a special holiday bonus episode
for your gut you guys. Matt's already rubbing his nipples.
He's so excited for the Fest of Love. So group popcorn,
grab your candy hearts and a box of chocolates. Today
we are diving into My Bloody Valentine from nineteen eighty one,
the slasher that turned a holiday of romance into a bloodbath.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
It started twenty years ago. It was the night of
the Valentines Day dance the Union Hall, the biggest event
of the year. There had been a tradition for over
one hundred years. Everybody was there except for seven miners
who were out at the Hanniger mine, five of them
(04:34):
still down below. Two supervisors were waiting for the men
to come up. Anxious to get to the party, they
left before the men were safely out, failing to check
the methane gas levels and the tunnels down below. The
(04:56):
five men were buried alive as the town continued its party.
For six weeks. We dug around the clock to try
to save them. After we broke through, one man was
found alive. I was the one who found Harry Warden
(05:24):
spent the next year on the state mental hospital. Exactly
one year later, on Valentine's Day, he came back to town.
He killed the two supervisors who had left their posts.
Speaker 4 (05:36):
The year before.
Speaker 3 (05:38):
Then, he cut out their hearts and stuffed them into
heart shake candy boxes. That night at the dance, we
found in the boxes, blood dripping out the sides. Inside
was a note, a warning from Harry. Never too hold
a Valentine's dance ever. Cat Every February fourteenth, Harry comes
(06:05):
back to town, his pickaxe stained with blood, waiting in
the shadows of the hunderger mind, just for someone to kill.
Should they not heed his warning, it could be you.
I know what I'm saying. You forget about having a
(06:26):
party at all.
Speaker 4 (06:27):
On Saturday night. The only good part about this movie
was the almost sex scene that happened in the first
five minutes.
Speaker 5 (06:33):
Oh, I have comments about that. Don't you worry?
Speaker 4 (06:34):
Don't you worry she jerked off his mask hose.
Speaker 6 (06:37):
I was highly uncomfortable during that that scene.
Speaker 4 (06:39):
I was highly erect.
Speaker 6 (06:43):
Hey, all those just that sentence just put together. It's
just that I don't like it. My Bloody Valentine is
rated R. It was filmed from September twenty twenty second
to November one, nineteen eighty. It was released on February eleventh,
nineteen eighty one. It falls into the slasher, horror and
mister genre as a runtime of ninety minutes if you're
watching the theatrical version, not a whole wop in ninety
(07:05):
three minutes uncut. It was directed by George Mahaka and
it was written by Stephen Miller did the story and
John Bierre did the screenplay. It was produced by the
Canadian Film Development Corporation, which I called that Canadian shit
because they said a boot quite a bit.
Speaker 5 (07:21):
Made me feel happy.
Speaker 6 (07:22):
It was distributed by Paramount Pictures. The music was done
by Paul's Aaza, which was a big thing that kept
coming up when I was researching this movie.
Speaker 5 (07:29):
Paul's Aza did this, Paul's ASA did that.
Speaker 6 (07:31):
It's just kudos to Paul's Azza. Special effects were Thomas
Berman and Ken Diez. Our main cast is Paul Kellman,
Lorie Haylor, Neil Affleck. I wonder if he's related to
band and Casey, Cynthia Dale, Alf Humphries, Don Franks, Larry Reynolds,
Peter Cowperr, and Patricia Hamilton. Some taglines that we have
(07:52):
Harry's out to Steal your heart, cross your Heart, and
hope to Die heart period burn period nice. This Valentine's
Day Romance is Dead, Sarah, be my bloody Valentine. It's
such a coal movie, you'll want to see.
Speaker 5 (08:10):
It over and over again. That might be my favorite one.
Speaker 6 (08:13):
Roses are red, violets are blue, One is dead and
the next is you. There's more than one way to
lose your heart.
Speaker 5 (08:19):
Dot dot dot.
Speaker 6 (08:20):
And finally, Valentine's Day will never be the same again
dot dot dot. Nah.
Speaker 5 (08:25):
They weren't horrible heartburn.
Speaker 6 (08:27):
I didn't like Cross your Heart, Hope to Die, The
Valentine's Day Romance is Dead, the coal movie that was
so corny that you know, But anyway, do we have
a budget and box office?
Speaker 4 (08:40):
Matthewll uh Yeah, sorry, I was doing a deep dive
on Paul's aza real quick. The budget was too point
three million dollars, which is seven point nine million in
America and five point seven's the box office. Yeah, such
my numbers around here.
Speaker 5 (08:58):
That's fine. You take your time with your inflation.
Speaker 4 (09:01):
M nineteen point six million.
Speaker 5 (09:03):
Not horrible. That's a lot more than I expected.
Speaker 4 (09:06):
But I wonder. I mean, it came out on Valentine's
Day weekend someone, and I have to assume that the
only reason it did well is because people wanted to
do something different, so they went and saw this when
it came out because it was a horror movie.
Speaker 6 (09:16):
Yeah, and you have to think the eighties, the end
of the seventies beginning of the eighties was a really
big time for just slasher horror films. People were excited.
They just wanted to see that type of shit. Anyway,
So we're going to get into the plot of My
Bloody Valentine. So again, this is some of my own writing.
(09:37):
This is some theft. There's a lot of shit going
on here. Not wiki though, because Wiki just I can't
take it the grammar anymore.
Speaker 4 (09:43):
Yeah, well that's what happens to you. Let fucking anyone
write words.
Speaker 6 (09:49):
So our movie opens deep underground in the tunnels.
Speaker 5 (09:53):
Of the henneern mine.
Speaker 6 (09:55):
Two miners, dressed in a full projective gear silently walked
through the dimly lit caverns. Their breathing is heavy, Allah
darth vager kind of like it was weird, creating a
tense atmosphere. Not to me, but you know, I was.
Why are you so winded? Suddenly one miner removes their gear,
revealing a blonde woman who one may say that she
(10:16):
has bodacious bazongas.
Speaker 4 (10:19):
No, nothing, I wouldn't call them bodacious or bodacious maybe bisogas.
Speaker 6 (10:26):
No, you sent me that meme. I thought that would
get you fucking rolling.
Speaker 4 (10:30):
No, Oh my god, her turtater touts aren't big enough
to be bozogas.
Speaker 5 (10:35):
Listen, any boob is a good boob.
Speaker 6 (10:37):
Oh.
Speaker 4 (10:37):
I didn't say it was a bad boob. I'm just saying,
if we're gonna call it a bodacious bosoma, it needs
to be of a certain weight class. And that is
not what this lady is throwing.
Speaker 5 (10:46):
I resent that comment for numerous reasons.
Speaker 6 (10:49):
Anyway, she seductively unzips her tree. I really wish he
just did. Like when a dog gets confused and their
head almost goes like three p sixty just completely whoo.
Speaker 5 (11:04):
Ah.
Speaker 6 (11:05):
She seductively unzips her jumpsuit, exposing a red heart shaped
tattoo above her breast. However, as she reaches for her
companion's mask, and as Matt so eloquently put before, vigorously
stroked his mask tube, the other miner suddenly becomes very aggressive,
and without warning, he slams her against the mine wall
(11:25):
and impales her on his pick axe. The weapon bursts
through her chest, which was I actually gasped a little
bit because I didn't think that this was gonna be
super gory, and not to say that it was the
gorious thing I ever saw, but it was like chunks
and flash like coming right through her chest. Kind of gross.
The camera lingers on the site of her twitching body
as the mask killer tilts his head admiring his gruesome handiwork,
(11:47):
stealing some of Mike Myers moves right there.
Speaker 5 (11:50):
Then we are.
Speaker 6 (11:51):
Introduced to the Valentine Bluffs, a small, quiet, working class
mining town where coal is the lifeblood of the community.
The streets are decorated with hearts, streamers, and banners as
the town prepares for its first Valentine's Day dance in
twenty years. Don't you wish you lived in a town
that had Valentine's Day dances?
Speaker 5 (12:08):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (12:08):
I don't think any school I every once who had
a Valentine's Day dance?
Speaker 5 (12:11):
To be fair, are you serious.
Speaker 4 (12:15):
They had like middle school? I don't know if it
was necessarily like a Valentine's dance. I know for a
fact high school didn't.
Speaker 6 (12:21):
Like a sweetheart dance. Or maybe you're subconscious just blocked
it out.
Speaker 4 (12:27):
Because no, I'm assuming so in middle school you would
have dances, and I'm guessing at least one of them
fell around Valentine's Day between my school and the public
school one. But I don't remember.
Speaker 5 (12:39):
Did you go to prom?
Speaker 6 (12:41):
No proms ever? Have you ever been to a school dance?
Speaker 5 (12:44):
Okay?
Speaker 4 (12:44):
I went to homecoming a bunch. I went to a
different school's homecoming when I was still in middle school?
Speaker 5 (12:50):
Nice player, Why don't you go to prom?
Speaker 4 (12:53):
Didn't want to?
Speaker 5 (12:54):
Do you regret it?
Speaker 4 (12:55):
Not one fucking bit. I'm still in contact with like
two people I went to high school with. I don't
talk to him frequently, but if I see him, I talked.
But that's about it. Okay, Yeah, fuck, Like dances weren't
my thing. They never were my thing, and I was
never really dating anyone for it to have to go.
Speaker 6 (13:11):
I thought your nickname was Matty.
Speaker 4 (13:12):
Two step, though different kind of two step. You're thinking
something far different. I was talking about a hardcore dance
two step, which is also I've never hardcore danced seriously
in my life. We used to do it in the
streets after shows, but like funny ones, that's about it.
I'd hurt myself if I tried to do it right now.
Speaker 6 (13:29):
So what you guys don't realize is that Matt, if
you look really closely in that video of those goth
techno kids doing that fucking crazy dance, he's in the background.
Speaker 4 (13:38):
I am the background.
Speaker 6 (13:42):
So now in the movie we meet our main characters,
a group of young miners who are looking forward to
the fun Valentine's event. So we have TJ, a rebellious
son of the mine owner who recently returned after failing
to make it on his own elsewhere. His return has
left him bigger, especially since his ex girlfriend Sarah is
now with his old former friend Axel. Now, Axel is
(14:07):
a well respected minor, but he has a very bad
temper and he has always been jealous of TJ. Then
there's Sarah, the third in this little love triangle. She
is the main female, the one you're gonna be paying
attention to the most in this movie, and she is
caught between a very hardcore love triangle between TJ and
(14:27):
Axel with Based on those names alone, just dump them both.
So then we have Hollis, Patty, Howard, and Mabel. I'm
just gonna name them. You don't need to know any
other facts about them. They're all fucking youre atypical. Yeah,
basically gangs all here, fucking SpongeBob. Despite the town's excitement
(14:50):
for the event, Mayor Hanneger and Chief Newby are uneasy.
This is the first dance since the tragedy.
Speaker 5 (14:56):
Of Harry Warden.
Speaker 6 (14:58):
Now who is Harry Warden?
Speaker 5 (15:00):
Can you ask? I'm going to tell you.
Speaker 6 (15:02):
In nineteen sixty one, there was a mind disaster. Twenty
years earlier, on Valentine's Day, an explosion occurred in the
mind Due to pure negligence, the town's two supervisors left
ers early to attend the Valentine's Day dance, failing to
check the methane gas levels. The explosion trapped five miners underground,
leaving them buried alive for six weeks before rescuers finally
(15:25):
reached them. But there was only one survivor, and that
was you guessed it, Harry Warden. But he had survived
only by eating the bodies of his dead coworkers. Driven insane,
he was institutionalized at the sanitarium. Matt, how long would
it take you in this type of situation before you
just start eating people?
Speaker 5 (15:46):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (15:46):
I did not expect that question to go that direction.
I was loaded up to be like, shorter than it took.
You didn't finish the sentence. I have to assume I
would probably just be like, you know what, I'm going
to die on here, so let's just you guys can
feast upon my loins. I don't know. And that's a
fair question because our sweet friend Seth got me into
(16:09):
watching Yellowjackets, where that is a theme of the show,
and I was like, I don't feel like I would
be able to eat my friends. But when you're faced
with that or death, you kinda.
Speaker 5 (16:24):
Give me death.
Speaker 4 (16:24):
Yeah, yeah, I know, I would much prefer death at
that point.
Speaker 6 (16:27):
But yeah, Now my question is, because I don't think
that they specify this in the film. This explosion trapped
five miners, now I'm assuming, and that's miners with an E,
not with an O. Did four of them die? And
Harry was the only one who survived the explosion and
(16:48):
he just started eating or is he fucking it? And
then he's eating them.
Speaker 4 (16:51):
I don't know if this topic was ever meant to
be discussed in discussed in such detail.
Speaker 5 (16:57):
Well that we're here, man.
Speaker 4 (16:59):
No, I know, I know, but it's just like these
they are probably things I know, one never thought about.
And I'd like to think for the sake of hilarity
that it was like within five minutes and he was
just like, we gotta start eating someone.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
Harry, what the fuck are you doing?
Speaker 5 (17:13):
That's my leg I'm not even dead, all right.
Speaker 6 (17:15):
So one year later, on Valentine's Day, Harry escaped and
went on a murderous rampage, killing the two negligent supervisors
after cutting out their hearts. He left a warning, which
is my fucking this is the best. If Valentine's Day
is ever celebrated again in this town, there will be blood. Now, Matt,
have you ever seen the movie? There will be blood?
Speaker 2 (17:36):
No?
Speaker 4 (17:37):
I know, I know what it is. I have an
idea but I have no interest in watching it.
Speaker 5 (17:41):
That's that's fine.
Speaker 6 (17:42):
I don't think it's a movie that's like, uh like
on your ragar, because it's I don't know it's a
good movie. I'm not gonna I'm not gonna say it's
not acting chops wise, I guess. And I haven't seen
a long time. But have you ever seen the milkshake scene?
Speaker 4 (17:57):
No? I no I have.
Speaker 6 (17:58):
I kind of want you to google, Well, there will
be blood and I.
Speaker 5 (18:03):
Drink your milkshake.
Speaker 4 (18:04):
Yeah, there it is.
Speaker 6 (18:05):
Yep.
Speaker 5 (18:05):
If the video is left less than like two minutes,
I say, watch it.
Speaker 4 (18:09):
It's two minutes and thirty nine seconds.
Speaker 6 (18:11):
Okay, that's fair. I can live with that. I can
live with that because basically, you have this minor, or
not a minor. He's an oil driller crossing streams and
h he's basically he hates this younger dude.
Speaker 4 (18:24):
I feel like I've seen this before, like this scene.
Speaker 5 (18:27):
You might have.
Speaker 6 (18:27):
It's pretty fucking iconic because he just starts fucking flipping
out and he's like, I drink your milkshake. I drink
it up and he does this weird little fucking walk
with his finger. I'm going to insert that right here.
The I drink your milkshake scene.
Speaker 4 (18:43):
If you have a milkshake.
Speaker 7 (18:46):
And I have a milkshake and I have a stroll,
there it is.
Speaker 4 (18:50):
That's a stroll.
Speaker 7 (18:52):
Watching a my soul reaches a cruel and starts to
drink your milkshake. I drink your milkshake.
Speaker 4 (19:13):
I drink it up.
Speaker 7 (19:14):
Don't buy me?
Speaker 5 (19:18):
Pretty aggressive, right, don't bully me, Daniel, Oh, bully all right,
it's nice.
Speaker 6 (19:25):
It's a weird movie. I want to you watch it now. Anyway,
back to the movie we're talking about. Harry is supposedly
recaptured and recommitted, but when Chief Nubi calls the sanitarium
for confirmation, there is no record of Harry Warden ever
being there. Despite the warning, the young people continue to
preparing for the dance. Mabel, the enthusiastic organizer for the town,
(19:48):
decorates the laundromat alone that evening. Dumb As she admires
her decorations, she of course hears a noise. Suddenly, the
mask minor emerges from the shadows.
Speaker 5 (19:59):
She tries to but the.
Speaker 6 (20:00):
Killer attacks her by brutally stabbing her with the pickaxe
before cutting out her heart. The next day, Chief Nube
finds me Mabel's charred remains in the laundry Matt dryer,
her body burned beyond recognition. A note warns him again
to cancel a dance if you ever celebrate Valentine's Day again.
I swear to fucking God, what a hill to die on. Literally,
(20:22):
I mean these people are dying left, right and center,
all because of Valentine's Day? Are you a big Valentine's
Day in your household? No heart shaped steak, heart shaped pizza?
Speaker 4 (20:32):
Nice? About as far as we go.
Speaker 6 (20:34):
Same, you know what. I realized I've done the heart
shaped pizza, and then I realized, I'm like, I'm kind
of getting jipped on pizza, so I just get the
circular one.
Speaker 4 (20:44):
I get a crust in making myself.
Speaker 5 (20:47):
Oh you dirty bitch.
Speaker 4 (20:49):
Well, I can't go to Domino's or Papa John's and
get a pizza. She can eat, so if she wants.
Speaker 6 (20:53):
It, that's fair.
Speaker 4 (20:54):
So that there's a bread place here that I think
has a couple stores out your direction called Breadsmith and
they have some froze like pizza dough. So I just
we always have a couple on hands, So I'll just
thaw a fuck her out and then I'll just form
it myself. And if I want to get real saucy,
I'll make stuff crossed pizza because pizza to her is
just dough and cheese, So if I can put more
cheese on there, maybe I'll do cheeseburger pizza.
Speaker 6 (21:16):
She does like that.
Speaker 4 (21:17):
She has requested that from no fucking natural cheese sauce.
Who doesn't like it? Commis, Communists don't. That's it.
Speaker 5 (21:25):
I mean, that's fair, that's fair.
Speaker 4 (21:27):
I drink your millshake stuck my head, drink it up.
I drink it up so stupid.
Speaker 5 (21:33):
Right, it's fucking crazy.
Speaker 6 (21:35):
I imagine your level of romance, well, not your level
of romance, the romance that would work in your life.
It's like not like rose petals leading to the bedroom,
but more like cheese curds pizza.
Speaker 4 (21:48):
Yeah, something like that.
Speaker 5 (21:49):
I'm not saying that's a problem. I'm saying that that's
a good thing.
Speaker 4 (21:53):
Sometimes that is looking to go, Hey, my AMPI is
kind of wig going around on tapia for a couple minutes.
Never worries numb. Once has she been like, yeah, wiggle
on me, daddy, which if she called me daddy, I
would probably kick her out. Of my house.
Speaker 5 (22:06):
But I am I leaving all that in.
Speaker 4 (22:09):
Maybe take the daddy part out, but I don't care
about the wiggle comment. It's not She listens to this
and it's fun, hilarious.
Speaker 5 (22:16):
The daddy comments, what made it for me?
Speaker 4 (22:18):
I mean, you can leave it, and I don't care the.
Speaker 5 (22:20):
Fucking curd daddy over here, curd Daddy.
Speaker 6 (22:23):
The chief drives to keep the murder quiet, but words
spread quickly. Word spreads quickly. The town cancels the official dance,
but the young miners decide to throw their own private
party at the mine double dumb. Meanwhile, the local bartender,
who has warned the kids numerous times about Harry Warden,
sets up a fake minor dummy outside the bar to
scare them, but when he returns later, the real killer
(22:45):
is waiting. The killer drives a pickaxe through his face,
causing his eye to pop out. I liked that kill.
That was a pretty sick kill. Made Brook kind of
really uncomfortable. So during all of this kerfuffle with murder,
throwing a bitch in a dryer, decorating for Valentine's Day,
canceling for Valentine's Day, just you know, Bayhem, there is
a very odd scene which gives off what I like
(23:08):
to call the duck duck goose vibes, where it's like
this fits, this fits, this kind of does not fit
at all, so duck duck goose. It's when TJ and
Sarah meet up randomly and they kiss, rekindling their love,
and there's this weird filter over the scene. You probably
completely blacked it out at this point, even though you
watched it maybe three hours ago, and it was kind
(23:31):
of like a dreamy filter, you know, that foggy looking shit,
and the music was really corny. It was like straight
out of a romance movie and it was just very odd.
I don't know why they put that in there. It
was like a completely different director was just like I
need romance and I need it now.
Speaker 4 (23:50):
Well, and that's the thing. It's like they had a
hard time trying to decide if it was going to
be a horror movie or a romance movie, because it
was like there were two people that wrote it. Maybe
there was maybe more, maybe there was. I don't get
a fuck, but it's like one guy was like, well,
we're gonna do a love movie, and now I guess
we're gonna do a horror movie, and then they just
made the dumbest choices to try to meld the two.
Just well, that's what I'm saying. So it's like you
have a fuck scene that then turns out to be
(24:11):
a murder scene, and then you got shit where there's
weird filters and like it. It's fucking stupid. It's dumb
that I've lost so much time of my day to
day in which I could have been doing literally anything else.
Speaker 6 (24:23):
Yeah, but here's the thing. Think about it as you're
doing it for me, So it's not time lost because
now we're having this fun conversation. You're now known as
kur Daddy. I'm gonna make merch. It's gonna become a
whole thing. You're not ready only boy anymore.
Speaker 4 (24:38):
You're not Ravioli boy. Is fucking hilarious, it is, but
you can factuate someone I haven't even looked to see
if we've had any new comments. But it's like the
fact that someone took time out of their day to
call me Ravioli boy and a douche in one sentence
proves how meaningless that person's life is.
Speaker 5 (24:55):
I mean, that's fair.
Speaker 6 (24:56):
Yeah, I wonder if they still listen I wonder that occasionally.
I'm like, reach out. If you are the Ravioli boy.
Speaker 5 (25:02):
Accuser, Yeah, I'd love to hear from you.
Speaker 6 (25:04):
Please email us at monstermannesspot at gmail dot com.
Speaker 5 (25:07):
We want to talk to you.
Speaker 6 (25:09):
Do you still think Matt is a Ravioli boy? Do
you agree that he is the Kurd Daddy? And also,
fuck you, he's not a douche anyway.
Speaker 4 (25:17):
I mean, you are what you eat, right, you just
start drinking a douche disgusting, uh, nutritious and delicious, clean
in the hole. That's what the cheating, That's what the
cards are for. Anyway.
Speaker 6 (25:33):
Anyway, the young people head to the Minds Wreck Room
for a night of drinking, dancing, and demauchery. As the
party continues, a fight breaks out between the love triangle,
of course, and then several couples wander off and separates
the group because of course, you gotta fucking break everybody up,
because if it's ten people against one dude with a pickaxe,
(25:55):
they're losing. Now, when you were watching this, did you
have any inkling of who the killer was?
Speaker 4 (26:01):
No, mostly because I just wanted it to end.
Speaker 5 (26:03):
Similar to my life.
Speaker 6 (26:05):
Also follow up question not related, but also related to
the movie three.
Speaker 4 (26:09):
Times a week. Oh, I thought you're gonna say, oh,
how many times a week do you wish that you
wouldn't wake up?
Speaker 3 (26:13):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (26:13):
I thought that was your masturbate scale.
Speaker 4 (26:16):
So you think I'm only cranking Hogg three times a week,
I've cranked it twice since we we started.
Speaker 5 (26:21):
Wow, that's skill. Sneak a crank.
Speaker 4 (26:27):
So real sticky pants over here.
Speaker 6 (26:29):
That's disgusting the mind. The mind. Would you go down
in a mine?
Speaker 4 (26:35):
No, I have been in a cave before, like when
I was a kid, and I just have no interest
in going back. Yeah.
Speaker 6 (26:42):
I have an issue with going underground.
Speaker 4 (26:44):
I don't really care about that. Like, if it was
a big open cave, I would go back into it.
But the one we went into is like legit splunking
cave and someone got stuck in the entrance.
Speaker 5 (26:58):
Fuck.
Speaker 4 (26:58):
Now. Yeah, I mean like like there's there's there's a
lot of caves and shit around here that you can
go in. Uh, and I would do that, Like I
think not in near Madison, there's a hotel you can
stay at that's underground. Like I'm fine with that. I
don't give a shit about it.
Speaker 6 (27:11):
If it's a big open space, and I can't really
tell that I'm underground, you know, as long as you
know if I'm in a cave and it's like big
and I see, like fucking.
Speaker 4 (27:19):
What about like an underground parking structure? Are you worried
about those?
Speaker 6 (27:24):
That's okay, because it's I know that one, I can
get the fuck out.
Speaker 5 (27:29):
At two, it's open.
Speaker 6 (27:31):
It's not like I'm not in The Descent where I'm
like crawling through cracks and shit. I would never ever
do that because that's claustrophobia to the nth degree. And
I don't even have claustrophobia, like I'll get in an elevator.
Speaker 5 (27:42):
I'm fine.
Speaker 4 (27:43):
You don't have claustrophobia yet.
Speaker 6 (27:45):
Sidebarring too, like movies like The Descent or like you
read those stories of that guy who got trapped. I
think it was called the Baby's Cragle or something, or
the cat's cradle where he literally got stuck and couldn't
back out and he just died. They could not get
(28:05):
him out.
Speaker 4 (28:06):
Pretty sure it was a cat's cradle, that's what they
were calling, right, But.
Speaker 5 (28:09):
Yeah, something cradle.
Speaker 6 (28:10):
But yeah, he's literally just his head is down, his
feet are like slightly up he's just stuck there and
he knows he's going to die a slow and paper.
That's I literally, I'm sweaty.
Speaker 5 (28:21):
I don't like that.
Speaker 4 (28:21):
So that but that goes back to your early earlier
question about how long would it take me to eat someone?
And it's like, I think I would rather just be
the first to die than to be put into a
position to be like, well, if i'd like to live,
to get on the other side of this, because no
one ever gets out of a traumatic experience and is
normal there. Yes, some people go and live great lives whatever,
do good shit, but they're always fucking insane. So just
(28:45):
end me.
Speaker 6 (28:46):
Yeah, I'm similar vibes. If I see like a situation
going awrye deuces, I don't need to partake in that.
It's like, oh, well, if the world ends, don't you
want to you know, see the other side's gonna be
like no, because I've seen enough dystopia and watch enough
zombie movies to know I don't want to fucking live
(29:08):
my life constantly in fear and everybody's stinking I'm too
I'm too desensitized.
Speaker 5 (29:15):
I need things to be fresh.
Speaker 4 (29:17):
You wanted this recorded, so we were talking before we
started recording about how Judy shit on the floor for
the first time ever, and I thought I was smelling
my own balls, so like, I'm not in a dystopian future.
I could literally go and apply soap to my genitals
and fix the situation.
Speaker 5 (29:35):
It wasn't his genitals.
Speaker 4 (29:38):
Pooped on the floor. It's it's been super windy and cold.
I don't blame her. She's a sweet angel, Yeah she is.
Speaker 5 (29:43):
I love that picture of Lessa Sense West earlier.
Speaker 4 (29:45):
Yeah, that's just Judy in a nutshell.
Speaker 6 (29:47):
I know she looks like a little granny. Judy is
a perfect name.
Speaker 4 (29:50):
That's why we kept it.
Speaker 5 (29:51):
I understand, all right.
Speaker 6 (29:52):
So the point of my story is a mine I
would never fucking do. It's too small, it's too cramped. Horrible,
no big, nope. Anyway, Sylvia and John wander into the
shower room assumingly alone with them all the minor uniforms
hanging above them, which I found weird because that can't
be like an enjoyable place at all. It looks very dirty, dusty.
(30:16):
I have one thousand percent wedeed my inhaler multiple times.
And then they're just like randomly trying to fuck, and
then he's like, oh, just pull the cord, and then
they have minor gear falling on top of them, which
is easily probably like fifteen pounds of gear. That's not
gonna feel good.
Speaker 4 (30:29):
People fucking bathrooms. Do you think a coal miner's dressing
room is gonna deter someone?
Speaker 6 (30:36):
I'm this, I'm just speaking to anybody who fucks in
a bathroom. Look at your life, look at your choices.
There are so many other places.
Speaker 4 (30:46):
Yeah, I mean, you're certainly you're gonna get a little
bit of poop particles in your vagina hole. Oh god.
Speaker 6 (30:53):
I well, anyway, John leaves to go get beers, and
Sylvia is suddenly attacked. The killer grabs her from behind
and pals her through the shower head. Michael and Harriet
sneak off for an intimate moment in the mine cart,
and they are later discovered impaled together with a giant
mining drill. Hollis is investigating their disappearance because he's all
pissed off because they're only supposed to go down to
(31:14):
the mine to look at the mine impress. The ladies
then go do their little Valentine's Day fuckery, but no,
now everybody fucking starts disappearing. But then Hollis, my favorite character,
is attacked with the nail gun, and bye boy. He tried,
he tried real hard to survive, but once you get
a fucking nail to the brain, I think it's game over.
(31:35):
So he stumbles back and he dies in front of
Patty and Sarah. Patty is his girlfriend who literally cannot
keep her shit together from this moment on.
Speaker 4 (31:44):
Yeah, goddamn it, Patty.
Speaker 6 (31:45):
But eventually she's killed so you don't have to worry
about her anymore. So Sarah and TJ are the only
ones left, and they attempt to flee because TJ and
Axel go down into the mine the minds to try
and find where the fuck everybody went because everybody's just
dying quick sidebar.
Speaker 4 (32:03):
The whole time I watched this movie, the only enjoyment
I got out of it was thinking about the Minecraft
meme where they were talking about how you know and
whatever we got the kids out of the mines, and
then into twenty twenty they just do nothing but play
a game called Minecraft. The kids yearn for the for
the mindset that that's really the best part abou watching
this movie was that I just kept repeating that.
Speaker 6 (32:23):
In my head, fucking Minecraft, he be's my GBI's I
love that game.
Speaker 4 (32:28):
Now I don't. I played it once with you and
never looked back.
Speaker 6 (32:31):
You played it more than once, but you it's just
not it's not your vibe. You're not like you like simulators,
but that is a that's way too in depth of
a simulator of just like having to create everything.
Speaker 4 (32:43):
Well, I got back into Sons of the Forest with
Glitter and her husband and another one of their friends,
and like we played the shit out of it for
a little bit and then stopped, and I was just
kind of like, all right, cool, but I like built
a fucking church and we had all, like we did
a ton in that game in a very short period
of time without actually playing the game. But at least
there you could like go play the game if you
get sick of Minecraft is.
Speaker 6 (33:04):
Just it's just literally mining. You're mining to find all
the material so you can make the stuff that you
need to beat the game. It's it.
Speaker 4 (33:10):
Wait wait, wait, So you're telling me that the purpose
of the game is to mine in Craft and they
just put the two words together to name it.
Speaker 5 (33:19):
Yeah, are you just realizing this?
Speaker 4 (33:22):
No, I'm I'm pointing out how fucking stupid that is.
Speaker 6 (33:24):
Don't you fucking slander minecraft. I will quit on our
one hundredth episode right now.
Speaker 4 (33:29):
No you won't, I know.
Speaker 5 (33:31):
Don't use my fucking shit against me.
Speaker 4 (33:34):
Don't threaten me with a good time.
Speaker 6 (33:36):
So Sarah and TJ attempt to flee, but are confronted
by the killer. A brutal fight ensues between TJ and Axel,
and they battle with almost a battle with dick pick axes.
Not dick axes.
Speaker 4 (33:48):
Oh that would have been way better, Just two guys
just fucking hip thrusting boners at each other.
Speaker 5 (33:55):
What a Freudian slip. You know what?
Speaker 6 (33:58):
Someone needs to create where that happens. But it's not
really porn because there's no intercourse. Yeah, with dick axes.
But what would be the poor name for my bloody Valentine?
Speaker 4 (34:11):
Our hemoglobin soaked holiday.
Speaker 5 (34:17):
I don't like that. Oh let's ask chat cheepy.
Speaker 4 (34:24):
Two our menstrual cycle.
Speaker 6 (34:26):
Oh what would be on a good porn name for
my bloody Valentine?
Speaker 4 (34:37):
Oh, man, don't let me down.
Speaker 6 (34:40):
Chat my naughty Valentine, my bodily Valentine. Mine shafted, yes,
deep shaft Valentine.
Speaker 4 (34:53):
I think I like mine Shafted the best, mostly because
there's a restaurant in Oshkosh called the Mine Shaft. So
I'm just gonna go there and be like, I got
mine shafted.
Speaker 6 (35:01):
Yeah, so and me and Chat have a good relationship,
and it was like, do you want something more subtle.
Speaker 5 (35:08):
Or over the top? I was like, oh, over the top.
So we got my slutty Valentine. I think you're gonna like.
Speaker 4 (35:13):
This one relentlessly pounded in the butt by the mine.
Speaker 5 (35:18):
A novel by chucking a tangler.
Speaker 6 (35:21):
There it is. Uh so after these it has like
a little like snippet of just like why it named
it that. So my slutty Valentine says, keeps it simple
but amps up the raunch. And then there's my nutty
Valentine because well nuts, mine shafted a deep drilling story.
Speaker 4 (35:38):
Oh my god.
Speaker 6 (35:39):
Oh this one's This one's aggressive pick axe and pussy,
a love story, dick axe and pussy, Tunnel of love
and other tight spaces.
Speaker 4 (35:50):
Oh my god. Yeah, there's a couple of those were
pretty fucking golden.
Speaker 6 (35:54):
Look I don't fucking like AI and what it's doing
to the world, but that was funny as shit. That's
what I should be used for my nutty Valentine, because nuts.
Speaker 4 (36:04):
And also to make my performance reviews sound smarter.
Speaker 5 (36:07):
There you go.
Speaker 6 (36:09):
So when the killer's masks is ripped off after they
have their dick axe fight, it reveals that it is
Axel Palmer Don Dun Dun, and then they do a
flashback where Axel witnessed his father's murders at the hands
of Harry Warden when he was a child. He was
his father was the one one of the negligent supervisors,
(36:29):
and young Axel hit under the bed as he watched
Warden rip out his father's heart. The psychological traumer festered
over years, and Axel snapped, taking up the miner's mask
and pickaxe, continuing Harry Warden's legacy. In the final struggle,
part of the tunnel collapses, burying Axel. The police arrive,
believing that the nightmare is over, but as they attempt
to dig him out, Axel begins laughing. Before they can
(36:52):
reach him, he severs his own arm and disappears deeper
into the mine, laughing and singing an eerie Valentine's rock
Daddy's Gone Away Harry Warden's Made You Pay, As TJ
and Sarah watching Horror Axules laugh echoes.
Speaker 5 (37:07):
Through the mine and that is when the movie ends.
Speaker 6 (37:12):
Would you cut your own arm off to get away?
If he just masacred a bunch of people they give
the steak of mine. I think he did it at
the joint too, like he did it at a good part.
Speaker 4 (37:21):
Yeah. I mean, if I decided that I didn't want
to just die, I guess I don't know. I don't
think I would be in a position to slaughter a
bunch of people and just be like, you know what,
better get to bed. I got a big day tomorrow.
Speaker 5 (37:33):
Kay, But where the fuck is he going? The mine
has to end eventually.
Speaker 6 (37:36):
Even though they did say like at some point it
was like, oh, this mine goes four hundred miles, He's
gonna walk four hundred miles in that dusty ass fucking
place with his fucking arm severed, Like come on, now,
come on, all right, next segment of the show, now
that the plot is over, would we survive, Matt? Would
you survive?
Speaker 5 (37:57):
No?
Speaker 4 (37:57):
No, because I don't want to.
Speaker 6 (37:58):
Okay, for argument's sake, that you want to someone's coming
at you with a pick axe. Are you fucking going crazy?
Or you just being like, welcome sweet death. I hit
me where it counts.
Speaker 4 (38:09):
Well, that's the thing. So pickaxe is a pretty slow
swing and if he's if you see him coming after you,
you should have enough reaction time to try to find
something to stop him.
Speaker 6 (38:17):
But I just have this image of you at one
end of the room, fucking axle.
Speaker 5 (38:23):
At the other, and you're like, see you coming, see
you coming, Like.
Speaker 4 (38:26):
Start looking on, there's gonna be a rock or something like.
There are things that are probably nearby that can help
your case, but you've chosen to just stand.
Speaker 5 (38:33):
There and die.
Speaker 4 (38:35):
Then die. Yeah, I mean I would like to think
I would probably try to fuck him up.
Speaker 6 (38:39):
It's like that scene in I think it's the first
Austin Powers Yep, if you've seen that, yeah, no.
Speaker 5 (38:48):
It it is so far away, so good.
Speaker 6 (38:51):
All right. No, I'm not surviving either.
Speaker 4 (38:53):
Uh.
Speaker 5 (38:54):
Because here's the thing.
Speaker 6 (38:56):
I've said this already and I will say it mostly
every movie. I'm not putting myself in this position. I
don't fuck with lure or curses or killers telling me
not to do shit. I get one post it note
that says don't have a Valentine's Day party, or I
will fucking.
Speaker 5 (39:11):
Cut your heart out done.
Speaker 6 (39:13):
I don't even know what Valentine's Day is at that point.
Speaker 5 (39:15):
What's a heart? You know?
Speaker 6 (39:16):
I just completely become ignorant to the whole situation.
Speaker 4 (39:19):
Have you ever seen Uh, it's come across on Instagram
a couple of times, but it's like creepy shit of
the internet. And it's a guy who's like, I can't
remember his namebody's singing in Spanish. He has like a
mariachi band behind him, and you just see someone hand
him a note and he reads it. He gets visibly
very very uneasy. Yes, And it was like the cartel
was saying, if you don't stop singing, you, we're gonna
kill you. And he just keeps singing. And then they
(39:41):
never find him. Oh yeah, yeah, but that's a fucking
baldy maneuver right there.
Speaker 5 (39:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (39:46):
Well, I guess it wasn't worth it because that man
is I don't know. I think they did find him,
but he was fucking dead.
Speaker 4 (39:51):
Well, yeah, I think you are right. I think I
believe they did find him dead eventually, but he was
never seen alive again. Is that better for you? God?
Damn it?
Speaker 6 (39:58):
All right, we're dead and now we're gonna do some
monster minutias.
Speaker 4 (40:03):
We can't.
Speaker 6 (40:03):
Well, this is the ghost of Erica's past.
Speaker 4 (40:07):
Damn you, even after death, you do nothing but missed
me off.
Speaker 5 (40:12):
You're okay.
Speaker 4 (40:13):
Uh.
Speaker 6 (40:13):
The film was shot in authentic minds, which were often
as much as nine hundred feet underground. Only certain light
devices could be used in the minds because of the
potential danger of methane explosions. No, thank you, No job
is worth that. If you have to bring a canary
down to make sure you ain't dying, I ain't fucking
doing that job. According to the makeup effects artist Thomas Berman,
(40:35):
one of his gory creations was realistic enough that the
director threw up.
Speaker 5 (40:39):
At the sight of it.
Speaker 6 (40:41):
It's pretty hardcore. Producers Andre Link and John Dunning said
the film's origins came when they sought to find a
holiday which a slasher film had not been set on
during the slasher slasher flick boom of the early nineteen eighties.
Like we were just talking about before, why is there
a slasher movie on Valentine's Day? Because they've fucking had
slasher movies coming out left, right, and center. They settled
(41:02):
on Valentine's Day in order to keep the idea from
being copied. They made the film's working title The Secret,
though they had the release title in Mine the whole time.
Most of the houses scene in the scenery of the
film were company houses. Several of them are still standing.
One of the makeup designers once shipped the dummy corpse
to the set in a coffin, which caused much alarm
(41:23):
when it arrived at Canadian customs. According to the director,
the actors and extras playing miners in the group shower
scene were genuinely naked, even though they were filmed from
the chest. Up man let them keep their drawers on.
What's wrong with you?
Speaker 4 (41:35):
Yeah? I just I feel like they did that shit
a lot. Or the actors were like, yea'll do whatever
because they wanted to be.
Speaker 6 (41:42):
Actors exactly do anything for a paycheck at that point.
Quentin Tarantino has named My Bloody Valentine his all time
favorite slasher film. Really Quentin, really all Right. In the
ending credits, the song line says, and those still alive
know the Secret survives. This is referring to the movies
originally intended title The Secret. Star Neil Affleck said that
(42:04):
the identity of the film's killer was kept a secret
even from the cast, because the filmmakers liked the idea
of the mystery being real among the actors. However, Affleck
figured out that he was the killer when after being cast,
he was sent to the makeup effects department to be
fitted for a fake arm that would be ripped off
the killer.
Speaker 5 (42:20):
In the film's finale.
Speaker 6 (42:22):
And finally, in a recent interview I don't know how
recent actor Neil Affleck, who played Axel the Killer, revealed
that he still has his minor helmet that he wore
in the film, which I always liked. That shit short,
sweet to the point. That's my bloody Valentine. Now are
you a yaynay or slay in this Bad Boy on This.
Speaker 5 (42:42):
Day of Love?
Speaker 4 (42:43):
Absolutely fucking nay, slay absolutely everything.
Speaker 6 (42:48):
Just get it out of here, Okay, So it's a
sleigh for Matt. I would say a y nay because
I never saw this one. I did see the one
that came out in two thousand and nine in the remake.
Speaker 4 (42:59):
I'd rather watch the two as a nine remake.
Speaker 6 (43:01):
I don't remember anything. I just remember Jensen Ackles, isn't it.
I'm pretty sure he played Axel. I remember it being creepy.
But I watched it in two thousand and nine and
I'm an old, decrepit lady now, so I don't remember
anything except Jensen ackles ackles ackle, I don't know whatever,
the guy from fucking Supernatural. That's the only reason I
watched it, because I like Supernatural at that time. But yeah,
(43:24):
that is my bloody Valentine. If you have a favorite
horror movie that is on a holiday, let us know.
Maybe we'll have a chance to cover it this year.
I have some lined up, but I am willing to
replace them. So stay away from cursed mining towns, my friends,
and for the love of all things horror, never throw
(43:46):
Valentine's Day dance in Valentine Bluffs. Thanks for listening, I
almost say watching. We're not cool enough to do a
video podcast online show if we become rich and famous,
not for quite a bit, because Matt's reactions are way
funnier than mine. But anyway, thank you so much for listening.
(44:08):
We will catch you on the next one. Happy Valentine's Day.
Tell the people you know.
Speaker 5 (44:13):
You love them. I love you, Matt, or done, I
love you, Matt.
Speaker 4 (44:24):
I keep hearing a buzzing sound.
Speaker 6 (44:28):
I love you so much.
Speaker 4 (44:32):
I can't say it now. I'm in too deep.
Speaker 5 (44:34):
Fuck you Bye, I love you too. Oh it isn't
Harry Warden.
Speaker 4 (44:43):
Yeah I know, t Yank.
Speaker 3 (44:45):
I got a call from Eastfield late this evening. I
said that Harry Wharton died five years ago, but the
new isard.
Speaker 4 (44:56):
It's excellent.
Speaker 3 (45:00):
God, it was on Valentine's Day that Harry Warden killed
Exel's father.
Speaker 7 (47:11):
Er, I'll be waiting in hell for you, Harry, Harry.
Speaker 4 (47:15):
I'm coming.
Speaker 6 (47:17):
This whole fucking town is going to die.
Speaker 7 (47:20):
We're coming back, you bastards. Sarah be my bloody Valentine Day, goneaway,
Harry ward Ma
Hello there, fellow monster, Madness, schools and goblins. You're currently
hearing the voice of a girl with no name, and
it's here with very very clear intentions to sound the alarm.
Before you listen any further, beware that frightful spoilers and
deliciously explicit language lie, and for once you find yourself
in the midst of those telltale bumps in the night,
in the haunting hows of host laughter and cinematic judgment,
(00:22):
there is no turning back, Joos wisely.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Here.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
Where somebody left us for you, for me?
Speaker 4 (00:36):
Who was it?
Speaker 2 (00:37):
I don't know who was already inside when we got here.
Maybe got a secret Mayer. Huh you mean Mabel?
Speaker 5 (00:44):
Afraid not man?
Speaker 3 (00:48):
Oh no, oh no, don't look at me. I didn't
have a thing to do with it.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Oh well, hell, I've been looking for an excuse to
get off this miserable diet. Missus Hannigher has me on.
Thanks hard, Hey, there's one other thing I like better
than Christmas candy. It's Valentine's candy pass out. Hey, who's
that it?
Speaker 3 (01:11):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (01:14):
From the heart comes a warning filled with bloody good cheer.
Remember what happened? Here's the fourteenth draws near.
Speaker 6 (01:25):
Hi, Hello, and welcome to a special Valentine's Day edition
of Monster Madness, the podcast that knows Love hurts, but
not usually with the pickacks. But before we get.
Speaker 5 (01:35):
Into the episode, oh no, I have to fucking introduce you.
Speaker 6 (01:37):
I forgot MAT's here.
Speaker 4 (01:38):
You don't have to, but I think one to three
people out there enjoying my involvement.
Speaker 5 (01:44):
Is that three people?
Speaker 4 (01:48):
I know. I'm gonna get a text from him right
now saying I'm two people and that's the worst episode ever.
Speaker 6 (01:56):
Reference Before we get into the episode, the plugs. You
can find Monster manis on all your favorite podcasting platforms,
social media sites and things of that nature. Matt does
stream video games and occasionally I joined him, and you
can also stream drums. He also streams drum sessions from
time to time, so you could check that out on
our twitch channel as well as our YouTube. We upload
all of our streams there, so if you miss it,
(02:17):
that's my cat, you can catch it.
Speaker 5 (02:20):
Did you hear him me out?
Speaker 4 (02:21):
Nope? But you know what that means.
Speaker 6 (02:24):
Pushys, we need a pussy doogle segment where we just
talk about our animals. If you'd like to support this show,
You could do so in a many different ways, such
as Patreon, buying merch or donating to the show, leaving
a review ya blah blah blah. And also, guys send
us some emails, say hi, recommend something horror related, make
fun of us. I don't give a shit either which way,
We'll read it on the show, we'll chat about it.
(02:45):
We want to interact with a you. All the links
for everything will be posted in the show notes. Also, Matthew,
I don't even think you know happy one hundredth episode.
It's the episode of.
Speaker 5 (02:55):
Love Nice, real classy.
Speaker 6 (02:58):
But yeah, it's our one hundred episode of Monster Madness,
which is fucking bananas. I cannot believe we have done this.
We've done this over a hundred times because we have
redone episodes.
Speaker 4 (03:09):
It's very nice of you to word it that way.
But we can all just un We don't have to
lie to the people. I usually fuck something up, and
the end result is that we have to re record
things because sometimes when I'm drinking, I forget to hit
say I'm.
Speaker 6 (03:23):
Sure I fucked it up at least once or twice.
The Crampist episode the long for Lost crampis episode Gramps
with our wonderful Alyssa is you know, just lost to
the ether Man because I lost that audio.
Speaker 4 (03:40):
We could redo it.
Speaker 5 (03:41):
Yeah, we could do that this Christmas.
Speaker 6 (03:44):
Yeah, man, I'm already excited for Christmas again.
Speaker 4 (03:47):
Stop that?
Speaker 6 (03:48):
All right, Well, we're not gonna do too much of
the hubbub because this is a special holiday bonus episode
for your gut you guys. Matt's already rubbing his nipples.
He's so excited for the Fest of Love. So group popcorn,
grab your candy hearts and a box of chocolates. Today
we are diving into My Bloody Valentine from nineteen eighty one,
the slasher that turned a holiday of romance into a bloodbath.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
It started twenty years ago. It was the night of
the Valentines Day dance the Union Hall, the biggest event
of the year. There had been a tradition for over
one hundred years. Everybody was there except for seven miners
who were out at the Hanniger mine, five of them
(04:34):
still down below. Two supervisors were waiting for the men
to come up. Anxious to get to the party, they
left before the men were safely out, failing to check
the methane gas levels and the tunnels down below. The
(04:56):
five men were buried alive as the town continued its party.
For six weeks. We dug around the clock to try
to save them. After we broke through, one man was
found alive. I was the one who found Harry Warden
(05:24):
spent the next year on the state mental hospital. Exactly
one year later, on Valentine's Day, he came back to town.
He killed the two supervisors who had left their posts.
Speaker 4 (05:36):
The year before.
Speaker 3 (05:38):
Then, he cut out their hearts and stuffed them into
heart shake candy boxes. That night at the dance, we
found in the boxes, blood dripping out the sides. Inside
was a note, a warning from Harry. Never too hold
a Valentine's dance ever. Cat Every February fourteenth, Harry comes
(06:05):
back to town, his pickaxe stained with blood, waiting in
the shadows of the hunderger mind, just for someone to kill.
Should they not heed his warning, it could be you.
I know what I'm saying. You forget about having a
(06:26):
party at all.
Speaker 4 (06:27):
On Saturday night. The only good part about this movie
was the almost sex scene that happened in the first
five minutes.
Speaker 5 (06:33):
Oh, I have comments about that. Don't you worry?
Speaker 4 (06:34):
Don't you worry she jerked off his mask hose.
Speaker 6 (06:37):
I was highly uncomfortable during that that scene.
Speaker 4 (06:39):
I was highly erect.
Speaker 6 (06:43):
Hey, all those just that sentence just put together. It's
just that I don't like it. My Bloody Valentine is
rated R. It was filmed from September twenty twenty second
to November one, nineteen eighty. It was released on February eleventh,
nineteen eighty one. It falls into the slasher, horror and
mister genre as a runtime of ninety minutes if you're
watching the theatrical version, not a whole wop in ninety
(07:05):
three minutes uncut. It was directed by George Mahaka and
it was written by Stephen Miller did the story and
John Bierre did the screenplay. It was produced by the
Canadian Film Development Corporation, which I called that Canadian shit
because they said a boot quite a bit.
Speaker 5 (07:21):
Made me feel happy.
Speaker 6 (07:22):
It was distributed by Paramount Pictures. The music was done
by Paul's Aaza, which was a big thing that kept
coming up when I was researching this movie.
Speaker 5 (07:29):
Paul's Aza did this, Paul's ASA did that.
Speaker 6 (07:31):
It's just kudos to Paul's Azza. Special effects were Thomas
Berman and Ken Diez. Our main cast is Paul Kellman,
Lorie Haylor, Neil Affleck. I wonder if he's related to
band and Casey, Cynthia Dale, Alf Humphries, Don Franks, Larry Reynolds,
Peter Cowperr, and Patricia Hamilton. Some taglines that we have
(07:52):
Harry's out to Steal your heart, cross your Heart, and
hope to Die heart period burn period nice. This Valentine's
Day Romance is Dead, Sarah, be my bloody Valentine. It's
such a coal movie, you'll want to see.
Speaker 5 (08:10):
It over and over again. That might be my favorite one.
Speaker 6 (08:13):
Roses are red, violets are blue, One is dead and
the next is you. There's more than one way to
lose your heart.
Speaker 5 (08:19):
Dot dot dot.
Speaker 6 (08:20):
And finally, Valentine's Day will never be the same again
dot dot dot. Nah.
Speaker 5 (08:25):
They weren't horrible heartburn.
Speaker 6 (08:27):
I didn't like Cross your Heart, Hope to Die, The
Valentine's Day Romance is Dead, the coal movie that was
so corny that you know, But anyway, do we have
a budget and box office?
Speaker 4 (08:40):
Matthewll uh Yeah, sorry, I was doing a deep dive
on Paul's aza real quick. The budget was too point
three million dollars, which is seven point nine million in
America and five point seven's the box office. Yeah, such
my numbers around here.
Speaker 5 (08:58):
That's fine. You take your time with your inflation.
Speaker 4 (09:01):
M nineteen point six million.
Speaker 5 (09:03):
Not horrible. That's a lot more than I expected.
Speaker 4 (09:06):
But I wonder. I mean, it came out on Valentine's
Day weekend someone, and I have to assume that the
only reason it did well is because people wanted to
do something different, so they went and saw this when
it came out because it was a horror movie.
Speaker 6 (09:16):
Yeah, and you have to think the eighties, the end
of the seventies beginning of the eighties was a really
big time for just slasher horror films. People were excited.
They just wanted to see that type of shit. Anyway,
So we're going to get into the plot of My
Bloody Valentine. So again, this is some of my own writing.
(09:37):
This is some theft. There's a lot of shit going
on here. Not wiki though, because Wiki just I can't
take it the grammar anymore.
Speaker 4 (09:43):
Yeah, well that's what happens to you. Let fucking anyone
write words.
Speaker 6 (09:49):
So our movie opens deep underground in the tunnels.
Speaker 5 (09:53):
Of the henneern mine.
Speaker 6 (09:55):
Two miners, dressed in a full projective gear silently walked
through the dimly lit caverns. Their breathing is heavy, Allah
darth vager kind of like it was weird, creating a
tense atmosphere. Not to me, but you know, I was.
Why are you so winded? Suddenly one miner removes their gear,
revealing a blonde woman who one may say that she
(10:16):
has bodacious bazongas.
Speaker 4 (10:19):
No, nothing, I wouldn't call them bodacious or bodacious maybe bisogas.
Speaker 6 (10:26):
No, you sent me that meme. I thought that would
get you fucking rolling.
Speaker 4 (10:30):
No, Oh my god, her turtater touts aren't big enough
to be bozogas.
Speaker 5 (10:35):
Listen, any boob is a good boob.
Speaker 6 (10:37):
Oh.
Speaker 4 (10:37):
I didn't say it was a bad boob. I'm just saying,
if we're gonna call it a bodacious bosoma, it needs
to be of a certain weight class. And that is
not what this lady is throwing.
Speaker 5 (10:46):
I resent that comment for numerous reasons.
Speaker 6 (10:49):
Anyway, she seductively unzips her tree. I really wish he
just did. Like when a dog gets confused and their
head almost goes like three p sixty just completely whoo.
Speaker 5 (11:04):
Ah.
Speaker 6 (11:05):
She seductively unzips her jumpsuit, exposing a red heart shaped
tattoo above her breast. However, as she reaches for her
companion's mask, and as Matt so eloquently put before, vigorously
stroked his mask tube, the other miner suddenly becomes very aggressive,
and without warning, he slams her against the mine wall
(11:25):
and impales her on his pick axe. The weapon bursts
through her chest, which was I actually gasped a little
bit because I didn't think that this was gonna be
super gory, and not to say that it was the
gorious thing I ever saw, but it was like chunks
and flash like coming right through her chest. Kind of gross.
The camera lingers on the site of her twitching body
as the mask killer tilts his head admiring his gruesome handiwork,
(11:47):
stealing some of Mike Myers moves right there.
Speaker 5 (11:50):
Then we are.
Speaker 6 (11:51):
Introduced to the Valentine Bluffs, a small, quiet, working class
mining town where coal is the lifeblood of the community.
The streets are decorated with hearts, streamers, and banners as
the town prepares for its first Valentine's Day dance in
twenty years. Don't you wish you lived in a town
that had Valentine's Day dances?
Speaker 5 (12:08):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (12:08):
I don't think any school I every once who had
a Valentine's Day dance?
Speaker 5 (12:11):
To be fair, are you serious.
Speaker 4 (12:15):
They had like middle school? I don't know if it
was necessarily like a Valentine's dance. I know for a
fact high school didn't.
Speaker 6 (12:21):
Like a sweetheart dance. Or maybe you're subconscious just blocked
it out.
Speaker 4 (12:27):
Because no, I'm assuming so in middle school you would
have dances, and I'm guessing at least one of them
fell around Valentine's Day between my school and the public
school one. But I don't remember.
Speaker 5 (12:39):
Did you go to prom?
Speaker 6 (12:41):
No proms ever? Have you ever been to a school dance?
Speaker 5 (12:44):
Okay?
Speaker 4 (12:44):
I went to homecoming a bunch. I went to a
different school's homecoming when I was still in middle school?
Speaker 5 (12:50):
Nice player, Why don't you go to prom?
Speaker 4 (12:53):
Didn't want to?
Speaker 5 (12:54):
Do you regret it?
Speaker 4 (12:55):
Not one fucking bit. I'm still in contact with like
two people I went to high school with. I don't
talk to him frequently, but if I see him, I talked.
But that's about it. Okay, Yeah, fuck, Like dances weren't
my thing. They never were my thing, and I was
never really dating anyone for it to have to go.
Speaker 6 (13:11):
I thought your nickname was Matty.
Speaker 4 (13:12):
Two step, though different kind of two step. You're thinking
something far different. I was talking about a hardcore dance
two step, which is also I've never hardcore danced seriously
in my life. We used to do it in the
streets after shows, but like funny ones, that's about it.
I'd hurt myself if I tried to do it right now.
Speaker 6 (13:29):
So what you guys don't realize is that Matt, if
you look really closely in that video of those goth
techno kids doing that fucking crazy dance, he's in the background.
Speaker 4 (13:38):
I am the background.
Speaker 6 (13:42):
So now in the movie we meet our main characters,
a group of young miners who are looking forward to
the fun Valentine's event. So we have TJ, a rebellious
son of the mine owner who recently returned after failing
to make it on his own elsewhere. His return has
left him bigger, especially since his ex girlfriend Sarah is
now with his old former friend Axel. Now, Axel is
(14:07):
a well respected minor, but he has a very bad
temper and he has always been jealous of TJ. Then
there's Sarah, the third in this little love triangle. She
is the main female, the one you're gonna be paying
attention to the most in this movie, and she is
caught between a very hardcore love triangle between TJ and
(14:27):
Axel with Based on those names alone, just dump them both.
So then we have Hollis, Patty, Howard, and Mabel. I'm
just gonna name them. You don't need to know any
other facts about them. They're all fucking youre atypical. Yeah,
basically gangs all here, fucking SpongeBob. Despite the town's excitement
(14:50):
for the event, Mayor Hanneger and Chief Newby are uneasy.
This is the first dance since the tragedy.
Speaker 5 (14:56):
Of Harry Warden.
Speaker 6 (14:58):
Now who is Harry Warden?
Speaker 5 (15:00):
Can you ask? I'm going to tell you.
Speaker 6 (15:02):
In nineteen sixty one, there was a mind disaster. Twenty
years earlier, on Valentine's Day, an explosion occurred in the
mind Due to pure negligence, the town's two supervisors left
ers early to attend the Valentine's Day dance, failing to
check the methane gas levels. The explosion trapped five miners underground,
leaving them buried alive for six weeks before rescuers finally
(15:25):
reached them. But there was only one survivor, and that
was you guessed it, Harry Warden. But he had survived
only by eating the bodies of his dead coworkers. Driven insane,
he was institutionalized at the sanitarium. Matt, how long would
it take you in this type of situation before you
just start eating people?
Speaker 5 (15:46):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (15:46):
I did not expect that question to go that direction.
I was loaded up to be like, shorter than it took.
You didn't finish the sentence. I have to assume I
would probably just be like, you know what, I'm going
to die on here, so let's just you guys can
feast upon my loins. I don't know. And that's a
fair question because our sweet friend Seth got me into
(16:09):
watching Yellowjackets, where that is a theme of the show,
and I was like, I don't feel like I would
be able to eat my friends. But when you're faced
with that or death, you kinda.
Speaker 5 (16:24):
Give me death.
Speaker 4 (16:24):
Yeah, yeah, I know, I would much prefer death at
that point.
Speaker 6 (16:27):
But yeah, Now my question is, because I don't think
that they specify this in the film. This explosion trapped
five miners, now I'm assuming, and that's miners with an E,
not with an O. Did four of them die? And
Harry was the only one who survived the explosion and
(16:48):
he just started eating or is he fucking it? And
then he's eating them.
Speaker 4 (16:51):
I don't know if this topic was ever meant to
be discussed in discussed in such detail.
Speaker 5 (16:57):
Well that we're here, man.
Speaker 4 (16:59):
No, I know, I know, but it's just like these
they are probably things I know, one never thought about.
And I'd like to think for the sake of hilarity
that it was like within five minutes and he was
just like, we gotta start eating someone.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
Harry, what the fuck are you doing?
Speaker 5 (17:13):
That's my leg I'm not even dead, all right.
Speaker 6 (17:15):
So one year later, on Valentine's Day, Harry escaped and
went on a murderous rampage, killing the two negligent supervisors
after cutting out their hearts. He left a warning, which
is my fucking this is the best. If Valentine's Day
is ever celebrated again in this town, there will be blood. Now, Matt,
have you ever seen the movie? There will be blood?
Speaker 2 (17:36):
No?
Speaker 4 (17:37):
I know, I know what it is. I have an
idea but I have no interest in watching it.
Speaker 5 (17:41):
That's that's fine.
Speaker 6 (17:42):
I don't think it's a movie that's like, uh like
on your ragar, because it's I don't know it's a
good movie. I'm not gonna I'm not gonna say it's
not acting chops wise, I guess. And I haven't seen
a long time. But have you ever seen the milkshake scene?
Speaker 4 (17:57):
No? I no I have.
Speaker 6 (17:58):
I kind of want you to google, Well, there will
be blood and I.
Speaker 5 (18:03):
Drink your milkshake.
Speaker 4 (18:04):
Yeah, there it is.
Speaker 6 (18:05):
Yep.
Speaker 5 (18:05):
If the video is left less than like two minutes,
I say, watch it.
Speaker 4 (18:09):
It's two minutes and thirty nine seconds.
Speaker 6 (18:11):
Okay, that's fair. I can live with that. I can
live with that because basically, you have this minor, or
not a minor. He's an oil driller crossing streams and
h he's basically he hates this younger dude.
Speaker 4 (18:24):
I feel like I've seen this before, like this scene.
Speaker 5 (18:27):
You might have.
Speaker 6 (18:27):
It's pretty fucking iconic because he just starts fucking flipping
out and he's like, I drink your milkshake. I drink
it up and he does this weird little fucking walk
with his finger. I'm going to insert that right here.
The I drink your milkshake scene.
Speaker 4 (18:43):
If you have a milkshake.
Speaker 7 (18:46):
And I have a milkshake and I have a stroll,
there it is.
Speaker 4 (18:50):
That's a stroll.
Speaker 7 (18:52):
Watching a my soul reaches a cruel and starts to
drink your milkshake. I drink your milkshake.
Speaker 4 (19:13):
I drink it up.
Speaker 7 (19:14):
Don't buy me?
Speaker 5 (19:18):
Pretty aggressive, right, don't bully me, Daniel, Oh, bully all right,
it's nice.
Speaker 6 (19:25):
It's a weird movie. I want to you watch it now. Anyway,
back to the movie we're talking about. Harry is supposedly
recaptured and recommitted, but when Chief Nubi calls the sanitarium
for confirmation, there is no record of Harry Warden ever
being there. Despite the warning, the young people continue to
preparing for the dance. Mabel, the enthusiastic organizer for the town,
(19:48):
decorates the laundromat alone that evening. Dumb As she admires
her decorations, she of course hears a noise. Suddenly, the
mask minor emerges from the shadows.
Speaker 5 (19:59):
She tries to but the.
Speaker 6 (20:00):
Killer attacks her by brutally stabbing her with the pickaxe
before cutting out her heart. The next day, Chief Nube
finds me Mabel's charred remains in the laundry Matt dryer,
her body burned beyond recognition. A note warns him again
to cancel a dance if you ever celebrate Valentine's Day again.
I swear to fucking God, what a hill to die on. Literally,
(20:22):
I mean these people are dying left, right and center,
all because of Valentine's Day? Are you a big Valentine's
Day in your household? No heart shaped steak, heart shaped pizza?
Speaker 4 (20:32):
Nice? About as far as we go.
Speaker 6 (20:34):
Same, you know what. I realized I've done the heart
shaped pizza, and then I realized, I'm like, I'm kind
of getting jipped on pizza, so I just get the
circular one.
Speaker 4 (20:44):
I get a crust in making myself.
Speaker 5 (20:47):
Oh you dirty bitch.
Speaker 4 (20:49):
Well, I can't go to Domino's or Papa John's and
get a pizza. She can eat, so if she wants.
Speaker 6 (20:53):
It, that's fair.
Speaker 4 (20:54):
So that there's a bread place here that I think
has a couple stores out your direction called Breadsmith and
they have some froze like pizza dough. So I just
we always have a couple on hands, So I'll just
thaw a fuck her out and then I'll just form
it myself. And if I want to get real saucy,
I'll make stuff crossed pizza because pizza to her is
just dough and cheese, So if I can put more
cheese on there, maybe I'll do cheeseburger pizza.
Speaker 6 (21:16):
She does like that.
Speaker 4 (21:17):
She has requested that from no fucking natural cheese sauce.
Who doesn't like it? Commis, Communists don't. That's it.
Speaker 5 (21:25):
I mean, that's fair, that's fair.
Speaker 4 (21:27):
I drink your millshake stuck my head, drink it up.
I drink it up so stupid.
Speaker 5 (21:33):
Right, it's fucking crazy.
Speaker 6 (21:35):
I imagine your level of romance, well, not your level
of romance, the romance that would work in your life.
It's like not like rose petals leading to the bedroom,
but more like cheese curds pizza.
Speaker 4 (21:48):
Yeah, something like that.
Speaker 5 (21:49):
I'm not saying that's a problem. I'm saying that that's
a good thing.
Speaker 4 (21:53):
Sometimes that is looking to go, Hey, my AMPI is
kind of wig going around on tapia for a couple minutes.
Never worries numb. Once has she been like, yeah, wiggle
on me, daddy, which if she called me daddy, I
would probably kick her out. Of my house.
Speaker 5 (22:06):
But I am I leaving all that in.
Speaker 4 (22:09):
Maybe take the daddy part out, but I don't care
about the wiggle comment. It's not She listens to this
and it's fun, hilarious.
Speaker 5 (22:16):
The daddy comments, what made it for me?
Speaker 4 (22:18):
I mean, you can leave it, and I don't care the.
Speaker 5 (22:20):
Fucking curd daddy over here, curd Daddy.
Speaker 6 (22:23):
The chief drives to keep the murder quiet, but words
spread quickly. Word spreads quickly. The town cancels the official dance,
but the young miners decide to throw their own private
party at the mine double dumb. Meanwhile, the local bartender,
who has warned the kids numerous times about Harry Warden,
sets up a fake minor dummy outside the bar to
scare them, but when he returns later, the real killer
(22:45):
is waiting. The killer drives a pickaxe through his face,
causing his eye to pop out. I liked that kill.
That was a pretty sick kill. Made Brook kind of
really uncomfortable. So during all of this kerfuffle with murder,
throwing a bitch in a dryer, decorating for Valentine's Day,
canceling for Valentine's Day, just you know, Bayhem, there is
a very odd scene which gives off what I like
(23:08):
to call the duck duck goose vibes, where it's like
this fits, this fits, this kind of does not fit
at all, so duck duck goose. It's when TJ and
Sarah meet up randomly and they kiss, rekindling their love,
and there's this weird filter over the scene. You probably
completely blacked it out at this point, even though you
watched it maybe three hours ago, and it was kind
(23:31):
of like a dreamy filter, you know, that foggy looking shit,
and the music was really corny. It was like straight
out of a romance movie and it was just very odd.
I don't know why they put that in there. It
was like a completely different director was just like I
need romance and I need it now.
Speaker 4 (23:50):
Well, and that's the thing. It's like they had a
hard time trying to decide if it was going to
be a horror movie or a romance movie, because it
was like there were two people that wrote it. Maybe
there was maybe more, maybe there was. I don't get
a fuck, but it's like one guy was like, well,
we're gonna do a love movie, and now I guess
we're gonna do a horror movie, and then they just
made the dumbest choices to try to meld the two.
Just well, that's what I'm saying. So it's like you
have a fuck scene that then turns out to be
(24:11):
a murder scene, and then you got shit where there's
weird filters and like it. It's fucking stupid. It's dumb
that I've lost so much time of my day to
day in which I could have been doing literally anything else.
Speaker 6 (24:23):
Yeah, but here's the thing. Think about it as you're
doing it for me, So it's not time lost because
now we're having this fun conversation. You're now known as
kur Daddy. I'm gonna make merch. It's gonna become a
whole thing. You're not ready only boy anymore.
Speaker 4 (24:38):
You're not Ravioli boy. Is fucking hilarious, it is, but
you can factuate someone I haven't even looked to see
if we've had any new comments. But it's like the
fact that someone took time out of their day to
call me Ravioli boy and a douche in one sentence
proves how meaningless that person's life is.
Speaker 5 (24:55):
I mean, that's fair.
Speaker 6 (24:56):
Yeah, I wonder if they still listen I wonder that occasionally.
I'm like, reach out. If you are the Ravioli boy.
Speaker 5 (25:02):
Accuser, Yeah, I'd love to hear from you.
Speaker 6 (25:04):
Please email us at monstermannesspot at gmail dot com.
Speaker 5 (25:07):
We want to talk to you.
Speaker 6 (25:09):
Do you still think Matt is a Ravioli boy? Do
you agree that he is the Kurd Daddy? And also,
fuck you, he's not a douche anyway.
Speaker 4 (25:17):
I mean, you are what you eat, right, you just
start drinking a douche disgusting, uh, nutritious and delicious, clean
in the hole. That's what the cheating, That's what the
cards are for. Anyway.
Speaker 6 (25:33):
Anyway, the young people head to the Minds Wreck Room
for a night of drinking, dancing, and demauchery. As the
party continues, a fight breaks out between the love triangle,
of course, and then several couples wander off and separates
the group because of course, you gotta fucking break everybody up,
because if it's ten people against one dude with a pickaxe,
(25:55):
they're losing. Now, when you were watching this, did you
have any inkling of who the killer was?
Speaker 4 (26:01):
No, mostly because I just wanted it to end.
Speaker 5 (26:03):
Similar to my life.
Speaker 6 (26:05):
Also follow up question not related, but also related to
the movie three.
Speaker 4 (26:09):
Times a week. Oh, I thought you're gonna say, oh,
how many times a week do you wish that you
wouldn't wake up?
Speaker 3 (26:13):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (26:13):
I thought that was your masturbate scale.
Speaker 4 (26:16):
So you think I'm only cranking Hogg three times a week,
I've cranked it twice since we we started.
Speaker 5 (26:21):
Wow, that's skill. Sneak a crank.
Speaker 4 (26:27):
So real sticky pants over here.
Speaker 6 (26:29):
That's disgusting the mind. The mind. Would you go down
in a mine?
Speaker 4 (26:35):
No, I have been in a cave before, like when
I was a kid, and I just have no interest
in going back. Yeah.
Speaker 6 (26:42):
I have an issue with going underground.
Speaker 4 (26:44):
I don't really care about that. Like, if it was
a big open cave, I would go back into it.
But the one we went into is like legit splunking
cave and someone got stuck in the entrance.
Speaker 5 (26:58):
Fuck.
Speaker 4 (26:58):
Now. Yeah, I mean like like there's there's there's a
lot of caves and shit around here that you can
go in. Uh, and I would do that, Like I
think not in near Madison, there's a hotel you can
stay at that's underground. Like I'm fine with that. I
don't give a shit about it.
Speaker 6 (27:11):
If it's a big open space, and I can't really
tell that I'm underground, you know, as long as you
know if I'm in a cave and it's like big
and I see, like fucking.
Speaker 4 (27:19):
What about like an underground parking structure? Are you worried
about those?
Speaker 6 (27:24):
That's okay, because it's I know that one, I can
get the fuck out.
Speaker 5 (27:29):
At two, it's open.
Speaker 6 (27:31):
It's not like I'm not in The Descent where I'm
like crawling through cracks and shit. I would never ever
do that because that's claustrophobia to the nth degree. And
I don't even have claustrophobia, like I'll get in an elevator.
Speaker 5 (27:42):
I'm fine.
Speaker 4 (27:43):
You don't have claustrophobia yet.
Speaker 6 (27:45):
Sidebarring too, like movies like The Descent or like you
read those stories of that guy who got trapped. I
think it was called the Baby's Cragle or something, or
the cat's cradle where he literally got stuck and couldn't
back out and he just died. They could not get
(28:05):
him out.
Speaker 4 (28:06):
Pretty sure it was a cat's cradle, that's what they
were calling, right, But.
Speaker 5 (28:09):
Yeah, something cradle.
Speaker 6 (28:10):
But yeah, he's literally just his head is down, his
feet are like slightly up he's just stuck there and
he knows he's going to die a slow and paper.
That's I literally, I'm sweaty.
Speaker 5 (28:21):
I don't like that.
Speaker 4 (28:21):
So that but that goes back to your early earlier
question about how long would it take me to eat someone?
And it's like, I think I would rather just be
the first to die than to be put into a
position to be like, well, if i'd like to live,
to get on the other side of this, because no
one ever gets out of a traumatic experience and is
normal there. Yes, some people go and live great lives whatever,
do good shit, but they're always fucking insane. So just
(28:45):
end me.
Speaker 6 (28:46):
Yeah, I'm similar vibes. If I see like a situation
going awrye deuces, I don't need to partake in that.
It's like, oh, well, if the world ends, don't you
want to you know, see the other side's gonna be
like no, because I've seen enough dystopia and watch enough
zombie movies to know I don't want to fucking live
(29:08):
my life constantly in fear and everybody's stinking I'm too
I'm too desensitized.
Speaker 5 (29:15):
I need things to be fresh.
Speaker 4 (29:17):
You wanted this recorded, so we were talking before we
started recording about how Judy shit on the floor for
the first time ever, and I thought I was smelling
my own balls, so like, I'm not in a dystopian future.
I could literally go and apply soap to my genitals
and fix the situation.
Speaker 5 (29:35):
It wasn't his genitals.
Speaker 4 (29:38):
Pooped on the floor. It's it's been super windy and cold.
I don't blame her. She's a sweet angel, Yeah she is.
Speaker 5 (29:43):
I love that picture of Lessa Sense West earlier.
Speaker 4 (29:45):
Yeah, that's just Judy in a nutshell.
Speaker 6 (29:47):
I know she looks like a little granny. Judy is
a perfect name.
Speaker 4 (29:50):
That's why we kept it.
Speaker 5 (29:51):
I understand, all right.
Speaker 6 (29:52):
So the point of my story is a mine I
would never fucking do. It's too small, it's too cramped. Horrible,
no big, nope. Anyway, Sylvia and John wander into the
shower room assumingly alone with them all the minor uniforms
hanging above them, which I found weird because that can't
be like an enjoyable place at all. It looks very dirty, dusty.
(30:16):
I have one thousand percent wedeed my inhaler multiple times.
And then they're just like randomly trying to fuck, and
then he's like, oh, just pull the cord, and then
they have minor gear falling on top of them, which
is easily probably like fifteen pounds of gear. That's not
gonna feel good.
Speaker 4 (30:29):
People fucking bathrooms. Do you think a coal miner's dressing
room is gonna deter someone?
Speaker 6 (30:36):
I'm this, I'm just speaking to anybody who fucks in
a bathroom. Look at your life, look at your choices.
There are so many other places.
Speaker 4 (30:46):
Yeah, I mean, you're certainly you're gonna get a little
bit of poop particles in your vagina hole. Oh god.
Speaker 6 (30:53):
I well, anyway, John leaves to go get beers, and
Sylvia is suddenly attacked. The killer grabs her from behind
and pals her through the shower head. Michael and Harriet
sneak off for an intimate moment in the mine cart,
and they are later discovered impaled together with a giant
mining drill. Hollis is investigating their disappearance because he's all
pissed off because they're only supposed to go down to
(31:14):
the mine to look at the mine impress. The ladies
then go do their little Valentine's Day fuckery, but no,
now everybody fucking starts disappearing. But then Hollis, my favorite character,
is attacked with the nail gun, and bye boy. He tried,
he tried real hard to survive, but once you get
a fucking nail to the brain, I think it's game over.
(31:35):
So he stumbles back and he dies in front of
Patty and Sarah. Patty is his girlfriend who literally cannot
keep her shit together from this moment on.
Speaker 4 (31:44):
Yeah, goddamn it, Patty.
Speaker 6 (31:45):
But eventually she's killed so you don't have to worry
about her anymore. So Sarah and TJ are the only
ones left, and they attempt to flee because TJ and
Axel go down into the mine the minds to try
and find where the fuck everybody went because everybody's just
dying quick sidebar.
Speaker 4 (32:03):
The whole time I watched this movie, the only enjoyment
I got out of it was thinking about the Minecraft
meme where they were talking about how you know and
whatever we got the kids out of the mines, and
then into twenty twenty they just do nothing but play
a game called Minecraft. The kids yearn for the for
the mindset that that's really the best part abou watching
this movie was that I just kept repeating that.
Speaker 6 (32:23):
In my head, fucking Minecraft, he be's my GBI's I
love that game.
Speaker 4 (32:28):
Now I don't. I played it once with you and
never looked back.
Speaker 6 (32:31):
You played it more than once, but you it's just
not it's not your vibe. You're not like you like simulators,
but that is a that's way too in depth of
a simulator of just like having to create everything.
Speaker 4 (32:43):
Well, I got back into Sons of the Forest with
Glitter and her husband and another one of their friends,
and like we played the shit out of it for
a little bit and then stopped, and I was just
kind of like, all right, cool, but I like built
a fucking church and we had all, like we did
a ton in that game in a very short period
of time without actually playing the game. But at least
there you could like go play the game if you
get sick of Minecraft is.
Speaker 6 (33:04):
Just it's just literally mining. You're mining to find all
the material so you can make the stuff that you
need to beat the game. It's it.
Speaker 4 (33:10):
Wait wait, wait, So you're telling me that the purpose
of the game is to mine in Craft and they
just put the two words together to name it.
Speaker 5 (33:19):
Yeah, are you just realizing this?
Speaker 4 (33:22):
No, I'm I'm pointing out how fucking stupid that is.
Speaker 6 (33:24):
Don't you fucking slander minecraft. I will quit on our
one hundredth episode right now.
Speaker 4 (33:29):
No you won't, I know.
Speaker 5 (33:31):
Don't use my fucking shit against me.
Speaker 4 (33:34):
Don't threaten me with a good time.
Speaker 6 (33:36):
So Sarah and TJ attempt to flee, but are confronted
by the killer. A brutal fight ensues between TJ and Axel,
and they battle with almost a battle with dick pick axes.
Not dick axes.
Speaker 4 (33:48):
Oh that would have been way better, Just two guys
just fucking hip thrusting boners at each other.
Speaker 5 (33:55):
What a Freudian slip. You know what?
Speaker 6 (33:58):
Someone needs to create where that happens. But it's not
really porn because there's no intercourse. Yeah, with dick axes.
But what would be the poor name for my bloody Valentine?
Speaker 4 (34:11):
Our hemoglobin soaked holiday.
Speaker 5 (34:17):
I don't like that. Oh let's ask chat cheepy.
Speaker 4 (34:24):
Two our menstrual cycle.
Speaker 6 (34:26):
Oh what would be on a good porn name for
my bloody Valentine?
Speaker 4 (34:37):
Oh, man, don't let me down.
Speaker 6 (34:40):
Chat my naughty Valentine, my bodily Valentine. Mine shafted, yes,
deep shaft Valentine.
Speaker 4 (34:53):
I think I like mine Shafted the best, mostly because
there's a restaurant in Oshkosh called the Mine Shaft. So
I'm just gonna go there and be like, I got
mine shafted.
Speaker 6 (35:01):
Yeah, so and me and Chat have a good relationship,
and it was like, do you want something more subtle.
Speaker 5 (35:08):
Or over the top? I was like, oh, over the top.
So we got my slutty Valentine. I think you're gonna like.
Speaker 4 (35:13):
This one relentlessly pounded in the butt by the mine.
Speaker 5 (35:18):
A novel by chucking a tangler.
Speaker 6 (35:21):
There it is. Uh so after these it has like
a little like snippet of just like why it named
it that. So my slutty Valentine says, keeps it simple
but amps up the raunch. And then there's my nutty
Valentine because well nuts, mine shafted a deep drilling story.
Speaker 4 (35:38):
Oh my god.
Speaker 6 (35:39):
Oh this one's This one's aggressive pick axe and pussy,
a love story, dick axe and pussy, Tunnel of love
and other tight spaces.
Speaker 4 (35:50):
Oh my god. Yeah, there's a couple of those were
pretty fucking golden.
Speaker 6 (35:54):
Look I don't fucking like AI and what it's doing
to the world, but that was funny as shit. That's
what I should be used for my nutty Valentine, because nuts.
Speaker 4 (36:04):
And also to make my performance reviews sound smarter.
Speaker 5 (36:07):
There you go.
Speaker 6 (36:09):
So when the killer's masks is ripped off after they
have their dick axe fight, it reveals that it is
Axel Palmer Don Dun Dun, and then they do a
flashback where Axel witnessed his father's murders at the hands
of Harry Warden when he was a child. He was
his father was the one one of the negligent supervisors,
(36:29):
and young Axel hit under the bed as he watched
Warden rip out his father's heart. The psychological traumer festered
over years, and Axel snapped, taking up the miner's mask
and pickaxe, continuing Harry Warden's legacy. In the final struggle,
part of the tunnel collapses, burying Axel. The police arrive,
believing that the nightmare is over, but as they attempt
to dig him out, Axel begins laughing. Before they can
(36:52):
reach him, he severs his own arm and disappears deeper
into the mine, laughing and singing an eerie Valentine's rock
Daddy's Gone Away Harry Warden's Made You Pay, As TJ
and Sarah watching Horror Axules laugh echoes.
Speaker 5 (37:07):
Through the mine and that is when the movie ends.
Speaker 6 (37:12):
Would you cut your own arm off to get away?
If he just masacred a bunch of people they give
the steak of mine. I think he did it at
the joint too, like he did it at a good part.
Speaker 4 (37:21):
Yeah. I mean, if I decided that I didn't want
to just die, I guess I don't know. I don't
think I would be in a position to slaughter a
bunch of people and just be like, you know what,
better get to bed. I got a big day tomorrow.
Speaker 5 (37:33):
Kay, But where the fuck is he going? The mine
has to end eventually.
Speaker 6 (37:36):
Even though they did say like at some point it
was like, oh, this mine goes four hundred miles, He's
gonna walk four hundred miles in that dusty ass fucking
place with his fucking arm severed, Like come on, now,
come on, all right, next segment of the show, now
that the plot is over, would we survive, Matt? Would
you survive?
Speaker 5 (37:57):
No?
Speaker 4 (37:57):
No, because I don't want to.
Speaker 6 (37:58):
Okay, for argument's sake, that you want to someone's coming
at you with a pick axe. Are you fucking going crazy?
Or you just being like, welcome sweet death. I hit
me where it counts.
Speaker 4 (38:09):
Well, that's the thing. So pickaxe is a pretty slow
swing and if he's if you see him coming after you,
you should have enough reaction time to try to find
something to stop him.
Speaker 6 (38:17):
But I just have this image of you at one
end of the room, fucking axle.
Speaker 5 (38:23):
At the other, and you're like, see you coming, see
you coming, Like.
Speaker 4 (38:26):
Start looking on, there's gonna be a rock or something like.
There are things that are probably nearby that can help
your case, but you've chosen to just stand.
Speaker 5 (38:33):
There and die.
Speaker 4 (38:35):
Then die. Yeah, I mean I would like to think
I would probably try to fuck him up.
Speaker 6 (38:39):
It's like that scene in I think it's the first
Austin Powers Yep, if you've seen that, yeah, no.
Speaker 5 (38:48):
It it is so far away, so good.
Speaker 6 (38:51):
All right. No, I'm not surviving either.
Speaker 4 (38:53):
Uh.
Speaker 5 (38:54):
Because here's the thing.
Speaker 6 (38:56):
I've said this already and I will say it mostly
every movie. I'm not putting myself in this position. I
don't fuck with lure or curses or killers telling me
not to do shit. I get one post it note
that says don't have a Valentine's Day party, or I
will fucking.
Speaker 5 (39:11):
Cut your heart out done.
Speaker 6 (39:13):
I don't even know what Valentine's Day is at that point.
Speaker 5 (39:15):
What's a heart? You know?
Speaker 6 (39:16):
I just completely become ignorant to the whole situation.
Speaker 4 (39:19):
Have you ever seen Uh, it's come across on Instagram
a couple of times, but it's like creepy shit of
the internet. And it's a guy who's like, I can't
remember his namebody's singing in Spanish. He has like a
mariachi band behind him, and you just see someone hand
him a note and he reads it. He gets visibly
very very uneasy. Yes, And it was like the cartel
was saying, if you don't stop singing, you, we're gonna
kill you. And he just keeps singing. And then they
(39:41):
never find him. Oh yeah, yeah, but that's a fucking
baldy maneuver right there.
Speaker 5 (39:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (39:46):
Well, I guess it wasn't worth it because that man
is I don't know. I think they did find him,
but he was fucking dead.
Speaker 4 (39:51):
Well, yeah, I think you are right. I think I
believe they did find him dead eventually, but he was
never seen alive again. Is that better for you? God?
Damn it?
Speaker 6 (39:58):
All right, we're dead and now we're gonna do some
monster minutias.
Speaker 4 (40:03):
We can't.
Speaker 6 (40:03):
Well, this is the ghost of Erica's past.
Speaker 4 (40:07):
Damn you, even after death, you do nothing but missed
me off.
Speaker 5 (40:12):
You're okay.
Speaker 4 (40:13):
Uh.
Speaker 6 (40:13):
The film was shot in authentic minds, which were often
as much as nine hundred feet underground. Only certain light
devices could be used in the minds because of the
potential danger of methane explosions. No, thank you, No job
is worth that. If you have to bring a canary
down to make sure you ain't dying, I ain't fucking
doing that job. According to the makeup effects artist Thomas Berman,
(40:35):
one of his gory creations was realistic enough that the
director threw up.
Speaker 5 (40:39):
At the sight of it.
Speaker 6 (40:41):
It's pretty hardcore. Producers Andre Link and John Dunning said
the film's origins came when they sought to find a
holiday which a slasher film had not been set on
during the slasher slasher flick boom of the early nineteen eighties.
Like we were just talking about before, why is there
a slasher movie on Valentine's Day? Because they've fucking had
slasher movies coming out left, right, and center. They settled
(41:02):
on Valentine's Day in order to keep the idea from
being copied. They made the film's working title The Secret,
though they had the release title in Mine the whole time.
Most of the houses scene in the scenery of the
film were company houses. Several of them are still standing.
One of the makeup designers once shipped the dummy corpse
to the set in a coffin, which caused much alarm
(41:23):
when it arrived at Canadian customs. According to the director,
the actors and extras playing miners in the group shower
scene were genuinely naked, even though they were filmed from
the chest. Up man let them keep their drawers on.
What's wrong with you?
Speaker 4 (41:35):
Yeah? I just I feel like they did that shit
a lot. Or the actors were like, yea'll do whatever
because they wanted to be.
Speaker 6 (41:42):
Actors exactly do anything for a paycheck at that point.
Quentin Tarantino has named My Bloody Valentine his all time
favorite slasher film. Really Quentin, really all Right. In the
ending credits, the song line says, and those still alive
know the Secret survives. This is referring to the movies
originally intended title The Secret. Star Neil Affleck said that
(42:04):
the identity of the film's killer was kept a secret
even from the cast, because the filmmakers liked the idea
of the mystery being real among the actors. However, Affleck
figured out that he was the killer when after being cast,
he was sent to the makeup effects department to be
fitted for a fake arm that would be ripped off
the killer.
Speaker 5 (42:20):
In the film's finale.
Speaker 6 (42:22):
And finally, in a recent interview I don't know how
recent actor Neil Affleck, who played Axel the Killer, revealed
that he still has his minor helmet that he wore
in the film, which I always liked. That shit short,
sweet to the point. That's my bloody Valentine. Now are
you a yaynay or slay in this Bad Boy on This.
Speaker 5 (42:42):
Day of Love?
Speaker 4 (42:43):
Absolutely fucking nay, slay absolutely everything.
Speaker 6 (42:48):
Just get it out of here, Okay, So it's a
sleigh for Matt. I would say a y nay because
I never saw this one. I did see the one
that came out in two thousand and nine in the remake.
Speaker 4 (42:59):
I'd rather watch the two as a nine remake.
Speaker 6 (43:01):
I don't remember anything. I just remember Jensen Ackles, isn't it.
I'm pretty sure he played Axel. I remember it being creepy.
But I watched it in two thousand and nine and
I'm an old, decrepit lady now, so I don't remember
anything except Jensen ackles ackles ackle, I don't know whatever,
the guy from fucking Supernatural. That's the only reason I
watched it, because I like Supernatural at that time. But yeah,
(43:24):
that is my bloody Valentine. If you have a favorite
horror movie that is on a holiday, let us know.
Maybe we'll have a chance to cover it this year.
I have some lined up, but I am willing to
replace them. So stay away from cursed mining towns, my friends,
and for the love of all things horror, never throw
(43:46):
Valentine's Day dance in Valentine Bluffs. Thanks for listening, I
almost say watching. We're not cool enough to do a
video podcast online show if we become rich and famous,
not for quite a bit, because Matt's reactions are way
funnier than mine. But anyway, thank you so much for listening.
(44:08):
We will catch you on the next one. Happy Valentine's Day.
Tell the people you know.
Speaker 5 (44:13):
You love them. I love you, Matt, or done, I
love you, Matt.
Speaker 4 (44:24):
I keep hearing a buzzing sound.
Speaker 6 (44:28):
I love you so much.
Speaker 4 (44:32):
I can't say it now. I'm in too deep.
Speaker 5 (44:34):
Fuck you Bye, I love you too. Oh it isn't
Harry Warden.
Speaker 4 (44:43):
Yeah I know, t Yank.
Speaker 3 (44:45):
I got a call from Eastfield late this evening. I
said that Harry Wharton died five years ago, but the
new isard.
Speaker 4 (44:56):
It's excellent.
Speaker 3 (45:00):
God, it was on Valentine's Day that Harry Warden killed
Exel's father.
Speaker 7 (47:11):
Er, I'll be waiting in hell for you, Harry, Harry.
Speaker 4 (47:15):
I'm coming.
Speaker 6 (47:17):
This whole fucking town is going to die.
Speaker 7 (47:20):
We're coming back, you bastards. Sarah be my bloody Valentine Day, goneaway,
Harry ward Ma
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