March 3, 2025 • 35 mins
Will this be the episode that turns friend of the show Seth against us? It might be.
Music:
Aiden Hatfield - This Is Heavier Than I Thought
Elevate Audio - Headshot
Social Media:
Bluesky: @monstermadness@bsky.social
Instagram: @monstermadnesspod
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Want to email us? Hit us up at: MonsterMadnessPodcast@gmail.com
Merch:
Teepublic: http://tee.pub/lic/zpJgzEGy3QA
Want to support the show?
Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/monstermadnesspod
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/monstermadness
Artwork:
Original logo and banner by Ian Gray
Illustrations by Phil Rood
Check out his website: philrood.com
His Ko-fi shop: https://ko-fi.com/philrood
His podcast The Picture Show!: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-picture-show-with-austin-and-phil-rood/id1523101342
Listener Advisory by Jackie Sauer
Find Jack’s work here:
Instagram: @jadedvader
https://www.thelastofuspodcast.com/
Sources:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sssssss
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0070622/
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/monster-madness--4303842/support.
Music:
Aiden Hatfield - This Is Heavier Than I Thought
Elevate Audio - Headshot
Social Media:
Bluesky: @monstermadness@bsky.social
Instagram: @monstermadnesspod
Discord: https://discord.gg/PCP2ZmyWPE
Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/monstermadnesspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/monstermadnesspod
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@monstermadnesspod
Want to email us? Hit us up at: MonsterMadnessPodcast@gmail.com
Merch:
Teepublic: http://tee.pub/lic/zpJgzEGy3QA
Want to support the show?
Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/monstermadnesspod
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/monstermadness
Artwork:
Original logo and banner by Ian Gray
Illustrations by Phil Rood
Check out his website: philrood.com
His Ko-fi shop: https://ko-fi.com/philrood
His podcast The Picture Show!: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-picture-show-with-austin-and-phil-rood/id1523101342
Listener Advisory by Jackie Sauer
Find Jack’s work here:
Instagram: @jadedvader
https://www.thelastofuspodcast.com/
Sources:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sssssss
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0070622/
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/monster-madness--4303842/support.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Well, hey there, folks, Just like how only you can
prevent forest fires, only you can prepare yourself for what's
ahead on this podcast. But before we hike into the
woods of horror films and all the terrifying tales they tell,
you should know that on this show, we'll be taking
a deep dive into some of your favorite scary movies.
But be warned there will be spoilers hidden behind every
(00:26):
tree stump. So if you haven't seen the movie we're
talking about, well you should probably circle on back to
the trailhead partner. Not only that, but things can get
a little let's say explicit. Around here. You'll hear strong
language and those opinions of ours, oh, they can be
as sharp as a bear's fangs. So remember, only you
can decide if you're ready for the journey ahead. So
(00:48):
stick around if you're prepared to face all those spoilers
and listen to all that strong language and entertain some
seriously bold takes.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Otherwise, tread lightly.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
Oh mard, what time miss it?
Speaker 4 (01:11):
It looks like days about popping it? Say about four
thirty you dug, that's eight hundred bucks. Aren't you gonna
counta I trust you boy? Many people ever said that
to me before.
Speaker 5 (01:29):
Dog you're real.
Speaker 4 (01:32):
Gentlemen, you know that, and a genius. Besides, it's sir,
you're a real bona fide genius, first one I ever met.
Speaker 5 (01:42):
It's rare to be appreciated for one's failures.
Speaker 4 (01:45):
Mark my words, Doc, You're gonna go down in history
as a great man.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
Hi, Hello, and welcome to this week's episode of Monster Man.
This podcast dedicated to you know it all sorts of creatures,
features and beyond.
Speaker 5 (01:57):
I thought it was anal beed reviews have been at
the wrong show this whole time.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
Yeah, haven't you noticed, in like six years we haven't
talked about anal beads ones.
Speaker 5 (02:05):
I'm a very patient man.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Well, as you can see, the anal bee connoisseur has joined.
Speaker 5 (02:12):
Us anal bead champion of Wisconsin.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
New merch Idea. You can find Monster Madness on all
your favorite podcasting platforms, social media sites and things of
that nature. Matt streams, video games, blah blah blah blah blah,
you know the socials. They'll all be listed in our
show notes if you're interested.
Speaker 5 (02:27):
I can't stop thinking about the fact that we would
have anal beads that spell monster Madness, and every ball
is a different letter. And then you just your ripcording
your lady friend just to spell our podcast.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Name, or a male friend or non bin your partner.
Speaker 5 (02:42):
Sorry, just the thought of m oh and I wonder
what's next?
Speaker 2 (02:50):
God, this podcast even so long.
Speaker 5 (02:54):
If you think it's long, I got the beads inside.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Me because you can't forget the word podcast too. It's
not just monster Madness, it's the pod.
Speaker 5 (03:02):
We might have to abbreviate somewhere in there, or it's
just m MP for for the less then the less experienced,
anal dead connoisseur. It's just the starter, the starter line.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Similar to Patreon. There will be tears, tears Tier one mmphuck,
Tier two, Monster Madness Pod.
Speaker 5 (03:23):
No, it'd have to be mon mad pod and then
it would be Yeah, it would be there. It is
fucking uh we call that the knee buckler.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Jesus, that's just it.
Speaker 5 (03:35):
Does someone out there that is their idea of a
really good Friday night. I am not here to kink shame.
Uh oh.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Once upon a time, someone someone in my family told
me a story about another person in my family that
they won't name, but I'm pretty who it was hm,
way to go. Aunts Sue. I actually did have an
Aunt Susan.
Speaker 5 (03:57):
Well.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
She was like a best friend of my parents. Either
which way.
Speaker 5 (04:02):
Have you ever seen have you ever read or seen
the movie Choke? Have you read the book Choke or
seen the movie Choke.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
I've read the movie. I've read the book Choke. Yeah,
it's been a long time now.
Speaker 5 (04:11):
So I read the book and watching the movie. I
haven't watched the movie a really long time. But Aunt
Susan getting start like an old fucking black and decker
push moower reminded me of the scene where he's got
the anal beads that won't come out. They're giving him
the Heimlich in the police station and he just shits
everywhere because it finally pops out.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
I forgot about that.
Speaker 5 (04:28):
Friend of the show is Seth has certainly turned this
off by.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Now, come back, come back, keep.
Speaker 5 (04:35):
Put a disclaimer, and they're gon be like, if you
don't want to just fast forward to five minutes, and
if you don't want to hear about gratuitous anal bead
discussion deep dive on butt stuff, how does.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
He listen to the show even a little bit.
Speaker 5 (04:49):
It's fine, He's been one of my best friends for
like fifteen years. It's fine.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
So we're gonna have two sets of anal beads. It's
gonna be the monster Man and the Seth friend of
the show set.
Speaker 5 (05:04):
So that's that you can wear them. It's like a necklace,
a shawl. Yeah, wear to your high school or college graduation,
any graduation you're interested in.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
Actually, yeah, because that is a feat. You should be
proud that you accomplished of.
Speaker 5 (05:17):
Throwing your cap. Just rip them out. We might need
to pivot away from this because I'm having too many
great ideas that I need to say. I mean, I'm
not currently have I don't currently have more, but I
can come up with a couple.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Well, going back to my story, so relative told me
a story about another relative that had to go to
the emergency room because they had some anal beads that
got stuck. I don't know, I didn't ask questions.
Speaker 5 (05:46):
Was like, I don't know the schemantics, schematics, whatever, the no.
I understand how a sphincter works, but it's like there
has to be some sort of fail safe that you
had to probably consciously go past, like a fucking hook
or something that shouldn't go inside your butt. I'm getting
the heat of the moment, though, you might just be
(06:07):
pushing a little too hard.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
Well, this also was probably the eighties, so they may
have just been ooh.
Speaker 5 (06:11):
It'll be Technologies come a long way in the past
forty five years.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Oh my god, it has been forty five years.
Speaker 5 (06:17):
Oh no, yeah, let's not forget I turned forty this year.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Oh I didn't forget eighty five. Either I have it
or my arthritis.
Speaker 5 (06:30):
Actually feel pretty good. That's why I'm drinking so that
I can repeat the cycle. There you go, just treet chicken.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
When none of this fucking right. So I don't have
really much to say, but I do have something that
fucked my Jimney cricket Geebi's I'm so sorry, Seth, I'm
so sorry.
Speaker 5 (06:49):
We did have a very in depth conversation on blind
full force supporting your friends regardless of what it is.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
Yeah, you've had conversations with like that with him a
couple of times, because I remember you showed me a
text where you sent me something super random and I
was just like, okay, when are we doing it? And
He's like, wow, she just follows you blindly. I'm like
that's loyalty.
Speaker 5 (07:09):
Well no it is, but that's uh because like Set's
kids play sports and if they have a fundraiser, I
just I basically just say tell me what I'm buying
and how much to send you.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
Oh, I know, I see your Venmo.
Speaker 5 (07:20):
Yeah. A text Dylan today and I'm like, hey, man,
Venmo's gonna start to think that you're paying me for
friendship because we're going to a bunch of concerts, so
he like paid me for all of it.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
Are you going to Disturbed?
Speaker 5 (07:30):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (07:31):
Yeah, because I had a Venmo brooke earlier and I
was just like, I saw the down with the sickness thing.
I was like, I think they're going to go see
Disturbed probably Yeah.
Speaker 5 (07:38):
And then a week from tomorrow we're seeing Doctor Phil.
Adam Ray asked, doctor Phil, Oh, he's in Milwaukee.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
I'm so confused.
Speaker 5 (07:46):
Yeah, I saw the look on your face. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
I didn't know that he like toured.
Speaker 5 (07:51):
He might.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
I don't know what I mean, what is doctor Phil doing.
He's like ninety years old, isn't he. H.
Speaker 5 (07:55):
I think he still has the TV show. He does
show up because Adam Ray does Doctor Phil shows. I
think in La and Doctor Phil has shown up. It's
on that there's a Netflix special that Doctor Phil shows
up to. I highly recommend watching it. Anyways, something GB
at your Hebes and Jimminy into your Crickets.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
Yeah, Ben and Jerry's Tierra Massou. Oh yeah, I fucking yeah,
that's dangerous.
Speaker 5 (08:17):
That's why I don't get Ben and Jerry's anymore. So
back to Seth because you know he's kind of a
staple in my life. We used to do ice cream Saturdays.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
I love that.
Speaker 5 (08:25):
So it's like you're you're allowed to have one pint
of ice cream on Saturdays, which ultimately turned into me
just gaining weight because I was not doing anything different,
just still eating ice pint full pint of ice cream
every Saturday. But uh, like when we would go out
of town for trips and shit on Saturday, we would
go get a pint of ice cream. So I have
to stop because if I get a pint, I'm gonna
eat a pint.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
Understandable. Yeah, it's like pringles. Once you pop, can't stop.
But yeah, I never had their tear Massou, and the
only reason I got is because they didn't have the
Buzz Buzz coffee one, which is my all time favorite.
Speaker 5 (08:53):
I can't even get it because I live in Squalor.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
So sad. How many calories do you think is in
the tiarsu one?
Speaker 5 (09:00):
Like if you eat the whole twelve hundred easy.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Oh yeah, you hit the nail right on the head.
Fucking twelve hundred calories.
Speaker 5 (09:07):
I don't like that. I was like on point, but
I know that all Ben and Jerry's have at least
nine to eighty up to probably go to fourteen hundred.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
Oh yeah, that's a full day's worth of calories.
Speaker 5 (09:17):
Twelve hundred. Yeah. Sorry, the dirt cake one twelve hundred
and twenty calories.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
For the entire Yeah, I literally make it stretch like
a week. I'll take a couple of bites of it.
Speaker 5 (09:25):
Oh that's what a responsible adult should do. I am
not a responsible adult.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
I mean fair.
Speaker 5 (09:34):
Less than less than you know, like trying to make
fun of myself without also making fun of myself, Like
I'm not a completely piece of shit, this functional human being.
I am able to hold a job and pay a
mortgaan and shit like that. But also there are certain
parts of my life that just do not add up.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
I just cannot contain myself around Ben or Jerry.
Speaker 5 (10:00):
Not only that, but we were supposed to record this yesterday,
and then I had twenty lunch beers at work and
was not really interested in talking.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
So I toughly cannot tell you how much I loved
the fact that lunch beers literally were just like, I
can't podcast. Eight hours later, I'm like, I understand, I
get it.
Speaker 5 (10:19):
Well, it was a combination. The end of my day
resulted in our network like denying my computer from connecting,
just out of the blue, only mine, so like all
of our like our desktops and all this shit, like
it's all mapped through our network. So all of a
sudden it disappeared and I was like log trying to
log in. It won't let me. I was rebooting, it
didn't work like our network. I walked over and jokingly
(10:40):
handed me a shitty laptop and then disappeared into the
fucking night. As we figured out what was going on,
and we're like, hey, man, you got any ideas, And
the joke was that he's not at the office anymore.
So it was like, at the end of my day
just wasn't ideal. So I just took a new laptop home. Cauz,
That's what you get when you work in it.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
You're not wrong.
Speaker 5 (10:59):
Yeah, we're talking about everything other than the movie at
this point. I hope you figure that out.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
But we have to talk about this movie. I know.
Speaker 5 (11:09):
I got diarrhea.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
It happens.
Speaker 5 (11:13):
I like how you didn't say, oh, go ahead, take
care that we'll never talk about this again. You just
basically said shit, your paints, piece of shit.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
I mean, why do I even have to say it?
If you're going to say it, Oh, you know something
else that fucks abbot elementary.
Speaker 5 (11:28):
That's pretty good, shoe. I'm like halfway no. Five six
episodes in a season three at this point.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
I'm so proud of you. I never have a win
with you.
Speaker 5 (11:36):
Well, it's it's easy. It's it follows the formula of
every one of those shows like The Office and Parks
and Rex and all that Parks and rec and all
that shit. So I can turn it on and just
do something else. So a lot of times, like when
I make breakfast, I can turn it on. I can
make breakfast and eat just about in the time of
what like one full episode.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
Who's your favorite character so far?
Speaker 5 (11:59):
I awful with names? Yeah, I know, I do kind
of like the Jake the white teacher.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
Yeah, he'shious, darky gay guy.
Speaker 5 (12:07):
Ava's annoying as fuck, but that's the point.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
Mm hmm. She's my favorite.
Speaker 5 (12:12):
I know exactly who you like. It's the redheaded teacher
that is Philadelphia and a female.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
I mean that's literally like every aunt I have in
every like female. Uh.
Speaker 5 (12:24):
I don't know how you're not an alcoholic.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
I don't drink, so I'm just the opposite. If I did,
I probably would. But no. Actually, my favorite character is Ava.
The principle she gets so she has so many fucking
one liners that have me howling. There's this one scene where,
fuck it, I don't even remember, Janine just like runs
(12:48):
towards Ava and it was just like Janine, why are
you breathing so hard? And it just fucking sent me.
She just the way she delivers everything. It's so good
either which way, have an elementary if you haven't, if
you haven't watched it, it's great, really good for the
times right now if you need a good laugh. True,
all right, we have to talk about it. We're about
(13:09):
to step into the strange and slithery world of nineteen
seventy threes.
Speaker 6 (13:17):
Here we have two of the most commonly confused snakes.
That is, the snakes themselves are not confused, but we
have a tendency to confuse them. Let me put that
on our left that the difference is in the case
of the poisonous coral, the red and yellow bands touch,
(13:38):
whereas in the case of the non poisonous king, the
red and yellow bands are separated by black stripes. Yeah,
A good way to remember that is the old folks
saying red touch yellow killer fellow.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
So love that because there's gonna be like a solid
two minutes of just you crying before we cut to
the movie audio and then it started to get in.
You're just crying. It's great, It's so good. So this
movie is rat because I don't feel like saying over
(14:15):
and over again, it's just annoying. It's rady PG. It
was filmed from November nineteen seventy two to December of
nineteen seventy two. It was released on July eighteenth, nineteen
seventy three. It falls into the horror and science fiction genre.
It was directed by Bernard L. Kolwalski. It was written
(14:35):
by Hal Dresner and Daniel C. Stripe Peck. Stripe Peak
stray Peak, I don't know. It was produced by the
Zenook Slash Brown Company Zanuck Brown Company. It was distributed
by Universal Pictures, and the music was by Patrick Williams.
We have in our main cast Strawther Martin, Dick Benedict,
Dirk Benedict, My Bad, Heather Menzies, Richard B. Shall, Tim O'Connor,
(14:59):
Jack j Kathleen King, and Reb Brown. Some taglines. Terror
is ready to strike. Right before your eyes see a
man turn into a cobra. You'll never be the same
after once this motion picture sinks its fangs into you,
You'll never be the same from them. There is no escape.
(15:23):
And in parentheses for some reason, don't say it, hiss it.
You loved that, didn't you do? We have a budget.
Speaker 5 (15:32):
Much one million dollars, which.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
Trust the inflation calculator.
Speaker 5 (15:38):
Seven point one million Jesus Christ. Right, Well you a
if you ever start a movie explaining to me where
the fucking animals came from, I'm already upset. So that
most of that money probably went to the rental of
the snakes and shit herpetologists.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
That's true, and according to my notes, it broke even.
It earned approximately one million dollars so congrats.
Speaker 5 (16:04):
One million dollars too much if you ask.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
Me a little bit?
Speaker 5 (16:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
So, Matt, do you want to read the Wikipedia plot
of this because it was so bad? I did not
take notes.
Speaker 5 (16:13):
Nope, but I will. Uh. Doctor Carl Stoner, a herpetologist,
sells a mysterious creature and a create to a carnival owner.
He hires college student David Blake as an assistant, claiming
that his previous assistant had left town to attend to
a sick relative. Unbeknownst to David or anyone else, Stoner
is a delusional man. Stoner begins David on a course
of injections per purpect. Purpect, I think that's supposed to say,
(16:37):
purposely as a safeguard against being bitten by a snake.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
No hip hep popped hip hop.
Speaker 5 (16:44):
Anonymoussu purpetly, perpet whatever. He's trying to do it as
a safeguy, it's a safe guy. He's trying to do
it as a safeguard against being bitten by a snake.
In his lab, David's skin slowly starts to change and
even peel like snake skin. He begins to have straight
nightmares and goes into a coma when having dinner with Stoner,
not waking up until a few days later. He also
begins to lose weight, but Stoner tells him that there
(17:06):
are side effects to the venom. David begins a romance
of Stoner's daughter Christina. Her father Objectson insists that she
not have any sexual relations with him, not knowing that
she already has. Dang she fucked a snake snake. When
David wakes up in the morning, he has become green
and covered with scales. Stoner takes him to the lab
and gives him another injection. Stoner's colleague, doctor Daniels, arrives
(17:27):
to inform him that he has been denied an extension
of his research grants. Stoner reacts to the news with indifference.
Made suspicious by this, Daniels inspects the property. Stoner hides
David in a corner, but David gets enough strength to
walk to a window, allowing Daniels to see him. Stoner
knocks Daniels out, feeds him to a python, and David collapses.
Christina visits a carnival freak show and sees a limitless
(17:48):
snake man, whom she recognizes as Stoner's previous assistant Horrified,
she races back home to save David, who mutates into
a king Cobra brought about by Stoner's injections. Deeming his
work a success, don't to provokes a king Cobert from
his lab and to biting him and dies. Christina arrives
home and finds her father's body with a cobrat next
to him, growing suspicious, The police arrive and shoot the
(18:08):
cobra before heading to the lab, where a mongoose is
biting David's neck, attempting to kill him. As Christina screams
David's name, the movie ends, leaving their fates uncertain. I
couldn't read that fast enough, I know, and.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
I'm really proud of you that you got through it.
Speaker 5 (18:21):
Perpect, perpect, perpect, purpotently, perpetially. That word's gonna haunt me.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
The noise that you're making is what ain't a beeds
sound like when they're coming out? I have a couple notes.
Speaker 5 (18:35):
Reportedly I had to use Google. It's okay, no one
that writes a Wikipedia page knows that word.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
That's also fair. I'm not even gonna try and say it.
I'm really glad I didn't read it because I probably
wouldn't been able to do it.
Speaker 5 (18:46):
Either, but that's a dumbuck word.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
I made a couple notes. So the first thing I
wrote down was the fuck is wrong with this movie?
Speaker 5 (18:55):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (18:56):
And then I said waterbed fucking? And then question have
you ever fucked on a waterbed?
Speaker 5 (19:01):
I have not.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
I feel like that would be really complicated.
Speaker 5 (19:04):
It would be really difficult to get leverage to provide it.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
Everything is just I wish people could see me right now,
but you're just like booying.
Speaker 5 (19:11):
Yeah, it w'd be I feel like I was going
to say it would be like fucking on a boat,
but I feel like even on a boat, it's easier because.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
The surroundings are solid. Yes, yes, you'd literally have to
like stretch your whole body out to get someone.
Speaker 5 (19:24):
Remember when, like waterbeds were the shit.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
My parents had a waterbed and I used to sleep
on it. After they divorced.
Speaker 5 (19:31):
My grandparents had one, and I remember I would just
go lay in their basement on the waterbed.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
Yeah, it's it was a weird fad. They still exist,
but I'm sure they do. It's just a weird, weird fad.
Speaker 5 (19:41):
It can't be easy to get a waterbed in and out.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
No, because you have to fucking drain it.
Speaker 5 (19:45):
How do you get the water to set location?
Speaker 2 (19:47):
I remember my parents so I lived in a Philly
row home growing up, and their window they had to
fish a hose to our front spicket to fill it up.
Speaker 5 (20:01):
But that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
It's complicated. You have to drain the waterbed to.
Speaker 5 (20:04):
Get an hour drain. I thought you said drink it.
I'm like, why are they drinking hose water inside through
a window?
Speaker 2 (20:10):
Just drinking the water bed to make it go away?
Speaker 5 (20:12):
This is so much water? God? Yeah, fuck yeah, fuck that.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
Here's the thing. Funny story. This story actually haunts Mikey
to this day. If I bring it up to him,
he shutders. I used to nap just anywhere when I
was younger, and I remember me and my dad took
a nap one weekend afternoon on the waterbed, and he
forgot I had taken the nap with him. I may
have gone in there after him or whatever, and he
(20:39):
didn't realize I was there. He left, and then my
parents couldn't find me, and they start flipping out. So
they're screaming all over the house for me. They can't
find me. They looked everywhere. I'm not outside. The doors
were locked. I couldn't have gotten outside. I was too small.
My parents. My dad goes into the bedroom and I
had fallen in between the frame and the waterbed and
(21:01):
was asleep, and he's like, you could have suffocated. I
just every time I think about that, I just fucking
I'm like, all right, I'm alive. It's okay. It was
thirty years ago, okay, dad, but yeah, okay. So my
next note is freaky shower toe. Did you see the
guy's toe when he got attacked in the shower? How
fucking weird his pinky.
Speaker 5 (21:21):
Toe was No, I hate feet, so I generally just
don't look.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
I understand, but I looked away.
Speaker 5 (21:27):
I just wasn't inspecting his tootsies.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
Well, you couldn't miss it. It was overlapping his other
toes like it was bent and like overlapped. It was weird.
Speaker 7 (21:37):
I like it.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
Next note I made was I'd be curious to know
if Kevin Smith ever watched this and it inspired Tusk. Obviously,
Tusk came way after this movie, Like, no, for sure.
Speaker 5 (21:47):
Yeah, I'm trying to agree with you in a horrible,
horrible talking over you kind of way, but think of
how like House of a Thousand Corpses is basically the
Texas Chance.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
I'm asker, I still have never seen that.
Speaker 5 (21:58):
I love them both character Yeah, so it's like whatever.
But also I hated Tusk. But so it's weird to
me is you didn't hate Tusk, but you hated this. Actually,
you have not told me what you thought of this movie.
Speaker 2 (22:11):
It was awful. It was awful. It actually kind of
coincides with my final note. I said, this is the
type of movie you would go to see for a
buck at the drive in movie theater on like a
Friday night to see like a double feature. It's like, yo, okay,
let's go watch some horror movies that we're gonna, you know,
just have fun in the experience. This isn't like something
that's gonna win awards, right right, right right? But yeah, no,
(22:35):
I did not care for this movie at all, and
I didn't care for Tusk. The first time I watched Tusk,
I was like, Okay, that was freaky weird. When we
reviewed it for the show, I remember being like, Wow,
this is fucking ridiculous. So if we're yay, nay or
sleigh and like, right, right, out the gate. It's a sleigh.
I would not waste ninety nine minutes to watch this again.
(22:57):
I will delete it off my plex. It's just it's
not a good movie. It's not even like when I'm
when animals attack. In essence, it's when people get turned
into animals and then they attack to you know, defend themselves.
Speaker 5 (23:08):
Yeah, I didn't.
Speaker 7 (23:09):
Uh.
Speaker 5 (23:10):
It's listed as a body horror, which makes sense now,
but fucking.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
Yeah, it was just I can understand if someone who
had like a major fear of snakes saw this, they
would not like it. I like, I don't particularly care
for snakes. If I saw a king Kober coming at me,
I would be frightened, but not really my cup of tea.
(23:37):
So this gets a sleigh. But then we move on
to would we survive? Now, put yourself in this. You're
a herptologist and us your boss is like here, we
have to vaccinate you, and like just like hit it
and you start turning into a snake.
Speaker 5 (23:56):
I'm a slippery, little slitherus snake.
Speaker 2 (24:00):
Do you think you're surviving?
Speaker 5 (24:02):
Man? Probably not, But I'm trying to like put myself
in the in the mindset of actually being a herpetologist.
Wanting to do that, then getting a job with some
weirdo and then he then I have to be like, oh,
you're gonna poke me with a needle? Is that cool? Homeboy?
But there's this there's a certain amount of suspension of
disbelief because this guy is a herptologist, should understand that
(24:23):
you don't need daily shots or whatever for antibat.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
Like, so.
Speaker 5 (24:29):
I'm just gonna say that I'm probably going to be
smarter than old Dirk Diggler. So yeah, I would survive
because I wan't fucking stick around.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
You're smart, man, that's the correct answer, because when things
get weird, you'd leave we out like shout, yeah, we're
not hanging out, all right. So moving on to some
monster manuches, because you actually mentioned a a nouche at
the very beginning before we recorded that, I'm saving for
the last that actually ties into the movie that we
will be covering this month or within the next couple weeks.
So before we get to that one, for the scene
(24:58):
where doctor Stoner first injects date Strather, Martin makes a
real hyperdermic puncture on Dirk Benedict's arm with an eagle No,
thank you, Dirk, Tiggler Dirk Diggler. All the venomous snake's
feature were authentic, and the cast actually did have to
interact with them for filming. Only in the shot where
Strather Martin grabs the king Cobra's head during the show
was a puppet snake being used. The poisonous snakes were
(25:21):
not defanged during production. Five king kobras were imported from
Thailand for this feature, ranging from ten to fifteen feet
in length. They have been recently caught in the wild.
They had been recently caught in the wild and were
in good health with full venom capabilities. The snake park
milking scenes were real and meant to mimic what Bill
Haste did at his serpentarium in Florida Daily. I do
(25:45):
not like using the word milking and snake in the
same sentence. That just doesn't feel good. The mongoose in
this movie was actually a tyra, a member of the
weasel family negative to tropical areas of Central American South.
A mayora fooled me. I thought it was a mongoose.
The cast was considerably nervous about interacting with the live snakes.
Star Heather Menzies said she was able to steal her
(26:08):
nerves to work with her scaly co stars during filming
and forgot her original apprehension. However, after the production raft,
she said she reverted back to her original fear of snakes.
For his transformation into a snake, Dirk Benedict Dirk Diggler
spent up to seven hours in makeup, and in the
final stages of the transformation had to be carried to
set on a stretcher. Oh boy. A full body shot
(26:30):
of Red Brown showering he's the one with the weird
toe just before his death scene was blurred at the
studio's insistence so that the film would maintain a PG rating.
At one point during development, Steven Spielberg was asked to direct,
but he turned it down. But he was turned down.
That doesn't make any sense. At one point during development,
Steven Spielberg was asked to direct it, but he was
(26:51):
turned down. So someone asked him and then they're like,
never mind, there's something wrong with that fact. But this
was the last fact that you actually brought up. And
it's very very cool. The first Xenak Brown production, who
later went on to produce the infamous Jaws only two
years later. What a jump.
Speaker 5 (27:11):
Yeah, good for them, really moving up in the world.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
Yeah, they kept Steven Spielberg in their back pocket too,
it seems so that was good for them.
Speaker 5 (27:18):
But I mean they did one, two, three, four, five
six movies in between than Jaws.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
Anything worth mentioning. No, okay, there you go.
Speaker 5 (27:31):
Well, the Clint Eastwood directed The Eiger Sanction. Never even
heard of that, The Sugarlane Express, which is a Spielberg movie.
I've never heard of it, but yeah, no, and Jaws two.
They did Jaws two.
Speaker 2 (27:43):
Also nice who directed Jaws two?
Speaker 5 (27:47):
Jannatt's fart.
Speaker 2 (27:49):
Wow, it wasn't expecting that. I knew it wasn't Spielberg,
but I wasn't expecting whatever you just said.
Speaker 5 (27:54):
Yeah, French director j E. A. N n o T.
S z w Arc.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
Yeah, when people spell things at me, I don't know
what they're saying, but I appreciate you.
Speaker 5 (28:04):
I was hoping that there would be a pronunciation of
this person. It's fine. I stopped caring.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
Yeah, do you have anything else you like to mention about?
Speaker 5 (28:14):
There's dog shit and my life is worse for knowing
that this movie exists.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
But here's look at it this way. No positive spin
your palette is more refined, and now your film knowledge
is even farther expanded. You know what you like and
you know what you don't like. Because guess what, someone
out there, this is the movie that's scared them the most.
They refuse to watch it. It, you know, made them
(28:41):
afraid of snakes. Or there's someone out there that this
is their all time favorite body horror movie.
Speaker 5 (28:47):
Yeah, okay, that person's wrong and they should feel really
bad about themselves.
Speaker 2 (28:51):
Well Jesus, okay, Well, if you're a listening to the show,
we don't feel that way about you, or at least
I don't, so please still stick around and give us
five star.
Speaker 5 (28:59):
If you're a listening the show and this is your
favorite movie, please explain to me why it's your favorite movie.
I'm not gonna shit all over you. I just want
to understand how someone could like this. So I'm legitimately
curious as to someone how could like how they could
like this movie.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
But it's the same reason. See, people could ask us
that question when we talk about like why we like
Thanksgiving or ThanksKilling rather one hundred percent.
Speaker 5 (29:21):
That's what I'm saying is like I understand there are
things that I like that people don't like anal beans included.
Uh so I just want to understand. I just yeah,
just explain to me your point of view. I won't
tell you you're wrong. I'm genuinely curious what redeeming quality
of this movie has because I found zero.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
But you're never gonna forget it.
Speaker 5 (29:38):
Unfortunately, you're welcome.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
So yeah, that's gonna be because we don't really have
much to say on it, and it wasn't good, and
that's probably I'm hoping the last really awful movie we
have to watch the season because everything else looks pretty solid,
which reminds me something on we can tack onto the
end of this episode. And I hope he's listening. We
have a new friend of the show. His name is Anthony.
(30:03):
I believe he is from the UK. Anthony. If you're listening,
please let me know.
Speaker 5 (30:08):
Anthony, please mail me. Hobknobs don't actually do it. Hobknobs
are so fucking good, though.
Speaker 2 (30:12):
I don't know what hobnob is, but it sounds great.
Speaker 5 (30:14):
Believe they're considered digestive biscuits. They're Yeah, they're delightful. Anyways.
Speaker 2 (30:18):
His Instagram handle is my kind of weird dot net
like the words spelled out dotn et my kind of
Weird dot net. He is a curator of my kind
of Weird. He writes about horror comics and bizarre books. Yeah,
he reached out. We became Instagram friends, and he said Tics,
a movie called Tics, should one hundred percent be on
(30:39):
our list. I said, I've never even heard of that movie.
I hate bugs, but I'll add it to the list begrudgingly.
So we're gonna watch Tics for you.
Speaker 7 (30:47):
We got.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
It's not gonna probably come out until the summertime.
Speaker 5 (30:50):
Fuck, oh, when ticks are rampant in my backyard, let's
watch a horror movie about fucking ticks.
Speaker 2 (30:56):
If it's any consolation, they're like from the still that
I saw because I did a little research, they look
like ginormous, So it's not like, really like the ticks
in your backyard if they're that big, if they're the
size of fucking cats.
Speaker 5 (31:08):
No they're not, because the fucking pull them out of
my hair after more.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
So, Yeah, I begrudgingly agreed and I put it on
the list. It should be out around July, so sorry, Anthony,
you do have to wait for that one, but thanks
for the suggestion. Definitely put it on the list. We're
happy to hear from you, and we hope that you
continue to listen to our show and tell them. Uh
but yeah, that's please come hang out with us next time.
(31:35):
We should have if things go to plan, the next
episode you're gonna hear, we're gonna cover a video game
and then a Saint Patti's Day episode, and then resuming
when animals attack. We will be discussing nineteen seventy five's Jaws.
Why are you laughing?
Speaker 5 (31:55):
The way that you said it reminded me of Wayne's
World and.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
In yeah we got we got a lot in the
uh the bank right now. Because we're trying, we are
tempting to do an episode every week, whether it be
a featurette because I actually cut off Friday from Future
at Friday because I was like, what the fuck? Why
why limit myself to Fridays?
Speaker 7 (32:17):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (32:18):
So, yeah, next episode, we will be discussing a game
that Matt played, which is Massacre at the Mirage. Before this,
you should have heard an episode on fasmophobia, but I
forgot to mention that during Frogs and then after that
you'll we hopefully we'll be able to have time to
cover Leprechaun which I haven't seen, and then we will
be talking about Jaws. So that's that's what's coming up
(32:39):
for you the next month or so. It's a lot
of shit, but it's fun. I hope you're as excited
as I am. It's not excited about anything, but yeah,
so we'll catch you on the next one. Bye.
Speaker 5 (32:53):
This movie was a piece of shit.
Speaker 7 (32:58):
You so interested in snakes?
Speaker 5 (32:59):
I got a beauty for you.
Speaker 7 (33:01):
Oh yeah, what kind of snake? You don't know the
name of it, but it's sure the biggest one I
ever saw. Peladan de Carnival's got it in his freak
show Half Snake and half man. Sure worth a look.
Speaker 5 (33:12):
See.
Speaker 7 (33:13):
Oh, come on, you don't really believe all that.
Speaker 5 (33:15):
Stuff, do you.
Speaker 7 (33:16):
I've seen a lot of freak shows. Used to be
a Donica man with the Westcott Brothers Amusements of the World,
fifty three years on the circuit. Never seen one like
that before.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
Well, I'm sure it's just a python made to look
like a man.
Speaker 5 (33:31):
Blue eyes. Sure fooled me.
Speaker 7 (33:34):
You never heard of a snake with blue eyes?
Speaker 5 (34:02):
And English and English sish and what's she daughters
Well, hey there, folks, Just like how only you can
prevent forest fires, only you can prepare yourself for what's
ahead on this podcast. But before we hike into the
woods of horror films and all the terrifying tales they tell,
you should know that on this show, we'll be taking
a deep dive into some of your favorite scary movies.
But be warned there will be spoilers hidden behind every
(00:26):
tree stump. So if you haven't seen the movie we're
talking about, well you should probably circle on back to
the trailhead partner. Not only that, but things can get
a little let's say explicit. Around here. You'll hear strong
language and those opinions of ours, oh, they can be
as sharp as a bear's fangs. So remember, only you
can decide if you're ready for the journey ahead. So
(00:48):
stick around if you're prepared to face all those spoilers
and listen to all that strong language and entertain some
seriously bold takes.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Otherwise, tread lightly.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
Oh mard, what time miss it?
Speaker 4 (01:11):
It looks like days about popping it? Say about four
thirty you dug, that's eight hundred bucks. Aren't you gonna
counta I trust you boy? Many people ever said that
to me before.
Speaker 5 (01:29):
Dog you're real.
Speaker 4 (01:32):
Gentlemen, you know that, and a genius. Besides, it's sir,
you're a real bona fide genius, first one I ever met.
Speaker 5 (01:42):
It's rare to be appreciated for one's failures.
Speaker 4 (01:45):
Mark my words, Doc, You're gonna go down in history
as a great man.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
Hi, Hello, and welcome to this week's episode of Monster Man.
This podcast dedicated to you know it all sorts of creatures,
features and beyond.
Speaker 5 (01:57):
I thought it was anal beed reviews have been at
the wrong show this whole time.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
Yeah, haven't you noticed, in like six years we haven't
talked about anal beads ones.
Speaker 5 (02:05):
I'm a very patient man.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Well, as you can see, the anal bee connoisseur has joined.
Speaker 5 (02:12):
Us anal bead champion of Wisconsin.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
New merch Idea. You can find Monster Madness on all
your favorite podcasting platforms, social media sites and things of
that nature. Matt streams, video games, blah blah blah blah blah,
you know the socials. They'll all be listed in our
show notes if you're interested.
Speaker 5 (02:27):
I can't stop thinking about the fact that we would
have anal beads that spell monster Madness, and every ball
is a different letter. And then you just your ripcording
your lady friend just to spell our podcast.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Name, or a male friend or non bin your partner.
Speaker 5 (02:42):
Sorry, just the thought of m oh and I wonder
what's next?
Speaker 2 (02:50):
God, this podcast even so long.
Speaker 5 (02:54):
If you think it's long, I got the beads inside.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Me because you can't forget the word podcast too. It's
not just monster Madness, it's the pod.
Speaker 5 (03:02):
We might have to abbreviate somewhere in there, or it's
just m MP for for the less then the less experienced,
anal dead connoisseur. It's just the starter, the starter line.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Similar to Patreon. There will be tears, tears Tier one mmphuck,
Tier two, Monster Madness Pod.
Speaker 5 (03:23):
No, it'd have to be mon mad pod and then
it would be Yeah, it would be there. It is
fucking uh we call that the knee buckler.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Jesus, that's just it.
Speaker 5 (03:35):
Does someone out there that is their idea of a
really good Friday night. I am not here to kink shame.
Uh oh.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Once upon a time, someone someone in my family told
me a story about another person in my family that
they won't name, but I'm pretty who it was hm,
way to go. Aunts Sue. I actually did have an
Aunt Susan.
Speaker 5 (03:57):
Well.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
She was like a best friend of my parents. Either
which way.
Speaker 5 (04:02):
Have you ever seen have you ever read or seen
the movie Choke? Have you read the book Choke or
seen the movie Choke.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
I've read the movie. I've read the book Choke. Yeah,
it's been a long time now.
Speaker 5 (04:11):
So I read the book and watching the movie. I
haven't watched the movie a really long time. But Aunt
Susan getting start like an old fucking black and decker
push moower reminded me of the scene where he's got
the anal beads that won't come out. They're giving him
the Heimlich in the police station and he just shits
everywhere because it finally pops out.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
I forgot about that.
Speaker 5 (04:28):
Friend of the show is Seth has certainly turned this
off by.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Now, come back, come back, keep.
Speaker 5 (04:35):
Put a disclaimer, and they're gon be like, if you
don't want to just fast forward to five minutes, and
if you don't want to hear about gratuitous anal bead
discussion deep dive on butt stuff, how does.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
He listen to the show even a little bit.
Speaker 5 (04:49):
It's fine, He's been one of my best friends for
like fifteen years. It's fine.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
So we're gonna have two sets of anal beads. It's
gonna be the monster Man and the Seth friend of
the show set.
Speaker 5 (05:04):
So that's that you can wear them. It's like a necklace,
a shawl. Yeah, wear to your high school or college graduation,
any graduation you're interested in.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
Actually, yeah, because that is a feat. You should be
proud that you accomplished of.
Speaker 5 (05:17):
Throwing your cap. Just rip them out. We might need
to pivot away from this because I'm having too many
great ideas that I need to say. I mean, I'm
not currently have I don't currently have more, but I
can come up with a couple.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Well, going back to my story, so relative told me
a story about another relative that had to go to
the emergency room because they had some anal beads that
got stuck. I don't know, I didn't ask questions.
Speaker 5 (05:46):
Was like, I don't know the schemantics, schematics, whatever, the no.
I understand how a sphincter works, but it's like there
has to be some sort of fail safe that you
had to probably consciously go past, like a fucking hook
or something that shouldn't go inside your butt. I'm getting
the heat of the moment, though, you might just be
(06:07):
pushing a little too hard.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
Well, this also was probably the eighties, so they may
have just been ooh.
Speaker 5 (06:11):
It'll be Technologies come a long way in the past
forty five years.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Oh my god, it has been forty five years.
Speaker 5 (06:17):
Oh no, yeah, let's not forget I turned forty this year.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Oh I didn't forget eighty five. Either I have it
or my arthritis.
Speaker 5 (06:30):
Actually feel pretty good. That's why I'm drinking so that
I can repeat the cycle. There you go, just treet chicken.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
When none of this fucking right. So I don't have
really much to say, but I do have something that
fucked my Jimney cricket Geebi's I'm so sorry, Seth, I'm
so sorry.
Speaker 5 (06:49):
We did have a very in depth conversation on blind
full force supporting your friends regardless of what it is.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
Yeah, you've had conversations with like that with him a
couple of times, because I remember you showed me a
text where you sent me something super random and I
was just like, okay, when are we doing it? And
He's like, wow, she just follows you blindly. I'm like
that's loyalty.
Speaker 5 (07:09):
Well no it is, but that's uh because like Set's
kids play sports and if they have a fundraiser, I
just I basically just say tell me what I'm buying
and how much to send you.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
Oh, I know, I see your Venmo.
Speaker 5 (07:20):
Yeah. A text Dylan today and I'm like, hey, man,
Venmo's gonna start to think that you're paying me for
friendship because we're going to a bunch of concerts, so
he like paid me for all of it.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
Are you going to Disturbed?
Speaker 5 (07:30):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (07:31):
Yeah, because I had a Venmo brooke earlier and I
was just like, I saw the down with the sickness thing.
I was like, I think they're going to go see
Disturbed probably Yeah.
Speaker 5 (07:38):
And then a week from tomorrow we're seeing Doctor Phil.
Adam Ray asked, doctor Phil, Oh, he's in Milwaukee.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
I'm so confused.
Speaker 5 (07:46):
Yeah, I saw the look on your face. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
I didn't know that he like toured.
Speaker 5 (07:51):
He might.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
I don't know what I mean, what is doctor Phil doing.
He's like ninety years old, isn't he. H.
Speaker 5 (07:55):
I think he still has the TV show. He does
show up because Adam Ray does Doctor Phil shows. I
think in La and Doctor Phil has shown up. It's
on that there's a Netflix special that Doctor Phil shows
up to. I highly recommend watching it. Anyways, something GB
at your Hebes and Jimminy into your Crickets.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
Yeah, Ben and Jerry's Tierra Massou. Oh yeah, I fucking yeah,
that's dangerous.
Speaker 5 (08:17):
That's why I don't get Ben and Jerry's anymore. So
back to Seth because you know he's kind of a
staple in my life. We used to do ice cream Saturdays.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
I love that.
Speaker 5 (08:25):
So it's like you're you're allowed to have one pint
of ice cream on Saturdays, which ultimately turned into me
just gaining weight because I was not doing anything different,
just still eating ice pint full pint of ice cream
every Saturday. But uh, like when we would go out
of town for trips and shit on Saturday, we would
go get a pint of ice cream. So I have
to stop because if I get a pint, I'm gonna
eat a pint.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
Understandable. Yeah, it's like pringles. Once you pop, can't stop.
But yeah, I never had their tear Massou, and the
only reason I got is because they didn't have the
Buzz Buzz coffee one, which is my all time favorite.
Speaker 5 (08:53):
I can't even get it because I live in Squalor.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
So sad. How many calories do you think is in
the tiarsu one?
Speaker 5 (09:00):
Like if you eat the whole twelve hundred easy.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Oh yeah, you hit the nail right on the head.
Fucking twelve hundred calories.
Speaker 5 (09:07):
I don't like that. I was like on point, but
I know that all Ben and Jerry's have at least
nine to eighty up to probably go to fourteen hundred.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
Oh yeah, that's a full day's worth of calories.
Speaker 5 (09:17):
Twelve hundred. Yeah. Sorry, the dirt cake one twelve hundred
and twenty calories.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
For the entire Yeah, I literally make it stretch like
a week. I'll take a couple of bites of it.
Speaker 5 (09:25):
Oh that's what a responsible adult should do. I am
not a responsible adult.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
I mean fair.
Speaker 5 (09:34):
Less than less than you know, like trying to make
fun of myself without also making fun of myself, Like
I'm not a completely piece of shit, this functional human being.
I am able to hold a job and pay a
mortgaan and shit like that. But also there are certain
parts of my life that just do not add up.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
I just cannot contain myself around Ben or Jerry.
Speaker 5 (10:00):
Not only that, but we were supposed to record this yesterday,
and then I had twenty lunch beers at work and
was not really interested in talking.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
So I toughly cannot tell you how much I loved
the fact that lunch beers literally were just like, I
can't podcast. Eight hours later, I'm like, I understand, I
get it.
Speaker 5 (10:19):
Well, it was a combination. The end of my day
resulted in our network like denying my computer from connecting,
just out of the blue, only mine, so like all
of our like our desktops and all this shit, like
it's all mapped through our network. So all of a
sudden it disappeared and I was like log trying to
log in. It won't let me. I was rebooting, it
didn't work like our network. I walked over and jokingly
(10:40):
handed me a shitty laptop and then disappeared into the
fucking night. As we figured out what was going on,
and we're like, hey, man, you got any ideas, And
the joke was that he's not at the office anymore.
So it was like, at the end of my day
just wasn't ideal. So I just took a new laptop home. Cauz,
That's what you get when you work in it.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
You're not wrong.
Speaker 5 (10:59):
Yeah, we're talking about everything other than the movie at
this point. I hope you figure that out.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
But we have to talk about this movie. I know.
Speaker 5 (11:09):
I got diarrhea.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
It happens.
Speaker 5 (11:13):
I like how you didn't say, oh, go ahead, take
care that we'll never talk about this again. You just
basically said shit, your paints, piece of shit.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
I mean, why do I even have to say it?
If you're going to say it, Oh, you know something
else that fucks abbot elementary.
Speaker 5 (11:28):
That's pretty good, shoe. I'm like halfway no. Five six
episodes in a season three at this point.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
I'm so proud of you. I never have a win
with you.
Speaker 5 (11:36):
Well, it's it's easy. It's it follows the formula of
every one of those shows like The Office and Parks
and Rex and all that Parks and rec and all
that shit. So I can turn it on and just
do something else. So a lot of times, like when
I make breakfast, I can turn it on. I can
make breakfast and eat just about in the time of
what like one full episode.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
Who's your favorite character so far?
Speaker 5 (11:59):
I awful with names? Yeah, I know, I do kind
of like the Jake the white teacher.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
Yeah, he'shious, darky gay guy.
Speaker 5 (12:07):
Ava's annoying as fuck, but that's the point.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
Mm hmm. She's my favorite.
Speaker 5 (12:12):
I know exactly who you like. It's the redheaded teacher
that is Philadelphia and a female.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
I mean that's literally like every aunt I have in
every like female. Uh.
Speaker 5 (12:24):
I don't know how you're not an alcoholic.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
I don't drink, so I'm just the opposite. If I did,
I probably would. But no. Actually, my favorite character is Ava.
The principle she gets so she has so many fucking
one liners that have me howling. There's this one scene where,
fuck it, I don't even remember, Janine just like runs
(12:48):
towards Ava and it was just like Janine, why are
you breathing so hard? And it just fucking sent me.
She just the way she delivers everything. It's so good
either which way, have an elementary if you haven't, if
you haven't watched it, it's great, really good for the
times right now if you need a good laugh. True,
all right, we have to talk about it. We're about
(13:09):
to step into the strange and slithery world of nineteen
seventy threes.
Speaker 6 (13:17):
Here we have two of the most commonly confused snakes.
That is, the snakes themselves are not confused, but we
have a tendency to confuse them. Let me put that
on our left that the difference is in the case
of the poisonous coral, the red and yellow bands touch,
(13:38):
whereas in the case of the non poisonous king, the
red and yellow bands are separated by black stripes. Yeah,
A good way to remember that is the old folks
saying red touch yellow killer fellow.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
So love that because there's gonna be like a solid
two minutes of just you crying before we cut to
the movie audio and then it started to get in.
You're just crying. It's great, It's so good. So this
movie is rat because I don't feel like saying over
(14:15):
and over again, it's just annoying. It's rady PG. It
was filmed from November nineteen seventy two to December of
nineteen seventy two. It was released on July eighteenth, nineteen
seventy three. It falls into the horror and science fiction genre.
It was directed by Bernard L. Kolwalski. It was written
(14:35):
by Hal Dresner and Daniel C. Stripe Peck. Stripe Peak
stray Peak, I don't know. It was produced by the
Zenook Slash Brown Company Zanuck Brown Company. It was distributed
by Universal Pictures, and the music was by Patrick Williams.
We have in our main cast Strawther Martin, Dick Benedict,
Dirk Benedict, My Bad, Heather Menzies, Richard B. Shall, Tim O'Connor,
(14:59):
Jack j Kathleen King, and Reb Brown. Some taglines. Terror
is ready to strike. Right before your eyes see a
man turn into a cobra. You'll never be the same
after once this motion picture sinks its fangs into you,
You'll never be the same from them. There is no escape.
(15:23):
And in parentheses for some reason, don't say it, hiss it.
You loved that, didn't you do? We have a budget.
Speaker 5 (15:32):
Much one million dollars, which.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
Trust the inflation calculator.
Speaker 5 (15:38):
Seven point one million Jesus Christ. Right, Well you a
if you ever start a movie explaining to me where
the fucking animals came from, I'm already upset. So that
most of that money probably went to the rental of
the snakes and shit herpetologists.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
That's true, and according to my notes, it broke even.
It earned approximately one million dollars so congrats.
Speaker 5 (16:04):
One million dollars too much if you ask.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
Me a little bit?
Speaker 5 (16:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
So, Matt, do you want to read the Wikipedia plot
of this because it was so bad? I did not
take notes.
Speaker 5 (16:13):
Nope, but I will. Uh. Doctor Carl Stoner, a herpetologist,
sells a mysterious creature and a create to a carnival owner.
He hires college student David Blake as an assistant, claiming
that his previous assistant had left town to attend to
a sick relative. Unbeknownst to David or anyone else, Stoner
is a delusional man. Stoner begins David on a course
of injections per purpect. Purpect, I think that's supposed to say,
(16:37):
purposely as a safeguard against being bitten by a snake.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
No hip hep popped hip hop.
Speaker 5 (16:44):
Anonymoussu purpetly, perpet whatever. He's trying to do it as
a safeguy, it's a safe guy. He's trying to do
it as a safeguard against being bitten by a snake.
In his lab, David's skin slowly starts to change and
even peel like snake skin. He begins to have straight
nightmares and goes into a coma when having dinner with Stoner,
not waking up until a few days later. He also
begins to lose weight, but Stoner tells him that there
(17:06):
are side effects to the venom. David begins a romance
of Stoner's daughter Christina. Her father Objectson insists that she
not have any sexual relations with him, not knowing that
she already has. Dang she fucked a snake snake. When
David wakes up in the morning, he has become green
and covered with scales. Stoner takes him to the lab
and gives him another injection. Stoner's colleague, doctor Daniels, arrives
(17:27):
to inform him that he has been denied an extension
of his research grants. Stoner reacts to the news with indifference.
Made suspicious by this, Daniels inspects the property. Stoner hides
David in a corner, but David gets enough strength to
walk to a window, allowing Daniels to see him. Stoner
knocks Daniels out, feeds him to a python, and David collapses.
Christina visits a carnival freak show and sees a limitless
(17:48):
snake man, whom she recognizes as Stoner's previous assistant Horrified,
she races back home to save David, who mutates into
a king Cobra brought about by Stoner's injections. Deeming his
work a success, don't to provokes a king Cobert from
his lab and to biting him and dies. Christina arrives
home and finds her father's body with a cobrat next
to him, growing suspicious, The police arrive and shoot the
(18:08):
cobra before heading to the lab, where a mongoose is
biting David's neck, attempting to kill him. As Christina screams
David's name, the movie ends, leaving their fates uncertain. I
couldn't read that fast enough, I know, and.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
I'm really proud of you that you got through it.
Speaker 5 (18:21):
Perpect, perpect, perpect, purpotently, perpetially. That word's gonna haunt me.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
The noise that you're making is what ain't a beeds
sound like when they're coming out? I have a couple notes.
Speaker 5 (18:35):
Reportedly I had to use Google. It's okay, no one
that writes a Wikipedia page knows that word.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
That's also fair. I'm not even gonna try and say it.
I'm really glad I didn't read it because I probably
wouldn't been able to do it.
Speaker 5 (18:46):
Either, but that's a dumbuck word.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
I made a couple notes. So the first thing I
wrote down was the fuck is wrong with this movie?
Speaker 5 (18:55):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (18:56):
And then I said waterbed fucking? And then question have
you ever fucked on a waterbed?
Speaker 5 (19:01):
I have not.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
I feel like that would be really complicated.
Speaker 5 (19:04):
It would be really difficult to get leverage to provide it.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
Everything is just I wish people could see me right now,
but you're just like booying.
Speaker 5 (19:11):
Yeah, it w'd be I feel like I was going
to say it would be like fucking on a boat,
but I feel like even on a boat, it's easier because.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
The surroundings are solid. Yes, yes, you'd literally have to
like stretch your whole body out to get someone.
Speaker 5 (19:24):
Remember when, like waterbeds were the shit.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
My parents had a waterbed and I used to sleep
on it. After they divorced.
Speaker 5 (19:31):
My grandparents had one, and I remember I would just
go lay in their basement on the waterbed.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
Yeah, it's it was a weird fad. They still exist,
but I'm sure they do. It's just a weird, weird fad.
Speaker 5 (19:41):
It can't be easy to get a waterbed in and out.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
No, because you have to fucking drain it.
Speaker 5 (19:45):
How do you get the water to set location?
Speaker 2 (19:47):
I remember my parents so I lived in a Philly
row home growing up, and their window they had to
fish a hose to our front spicket to fill it up.
Speaker 5 (20:01):
But that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
It's complicated. You have to drain the waterbed to.
Speaker 5 (20:04):
Get an hour drain. I thought you said drink it.
I'm like, why are they drinking hose water inside through
a window?
Speaker 2 (20:10):
Just drinking the water bed to make it go away?
Speaker 5 (20:12):
This is so much water? God? Yeah, fuck yeah, fuck that.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
Here's the thing. Funny story. This story actually haunts Mikey
to this day. If I bring it up to him,
he shutders. I used to nap just anywhere when I
was younger, and I remember me and my dad took
a nap one weekend afternoon on the waterbed, and he
forgot I had taken the nap with him. I may
have gone in there after him or whatever, and he
(20:39):
didn't realize I was there. He left, and then my
parents couldn't find me, and they start flipping out. So
they're screaming all over the house for me. They can't
find me. They looked everywhere. I'm not outside. The doors
were locked. I couldn't have gotten outside. I was too small.
My parents. My dad goes into the bedroom and I
had fallen in between the frame and the waterbed and
(21:01):
was asleep, and he's like, you could have suffocated. I
just every time I think about that, I just fucking
I'm like, all right, I'm alive. It's okay. It was
thirty years ago, okay, dad, but yeah, okay. So my
next note is freaky shower toe. Did you see the
guy's toe when he got attacked in the shower? How
fucking weird his pinky.
Speaker 5 (21:21):
Toe was No, I hate feet, so I generally just
don't look.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
I understand, but I looked away.
Speaker 5 (21:27):
I just wasn't inspecting his tootsies.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
Well, you couldn't miss it. It was overlapping his other
toes like it was bent and like overlapped. It was weird.
Speaker 7 (21:37):
I like it.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
Next note I made was I'd be curious to know
if Kevin Smith ever watched this and it inspired Tusk. Obviously,
Tusk came way after this movie, Like, no, for sure.
Speaker 5 (21:47):
Yeah, I'm trying to agree with you in a horrible,
horrible talking over you kind of way, but think of
how like House of a Thousand Corpses is basically the
Texas Chance.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
I'm asker, I still have never seen that.
Speaker 5 (21:58):
I love them both character Yeah, so it's like whatever.
But also I hated Tusk. But so it's weird to
me is you didn't hate Tusk, but you hated this. Actually,
you have not told me what you thought of this movie.
Speaker 2 (22:11):
It was awful. It was awful. It actually kind of
coincides with my final note. I said, this is the
type of movie you would go to see for a
buck at the drive in movie theater on like a
Friday night to see like a double feature. It's like, yo, okay,
let's go watch some horror movies that we're gonna, you know,
just have fun in the experience. This isn't like something
that's gonna win awards, right right, right right? But yeah, no,
(22:35):
I did not care for this movie at all, and
I didn't care for Tusk. The first time I watched Tusk,
I was like, Okay, that was freaky weird. When we
reviewed it for the show, I remember being like, Wow,
this is fucking ridiculous. So if we're yay, nay or
sleigh and like, right, right, out the gate. It's a sleigh.
I would not waste ninety nine minutes to watch this again.
(22:57):
I will delete it off my plex. It's just it's
not a good movie. It's not even like when I'm
when animals attack. In essence, it's when people get turned
into animals and then they attack to you know, defend themselves.
Speaker 5 (23:08):
Yeah, I didn't.
Speaker 7 (23:09):
Uh.
Speaker 5 (23:10):
It's listed as a body horror, which makes sense now,
but fucking.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
Yeah, it was just I can understand if someone who
had like a major fear of snakes saw this, they
would not like it. I like, I don't particularly care
for snakes. If I saw a king Kober coming at me,
I would be frightened, but not really my cup of tea.
(23:37):
So this gets a sleigh. But then we move on
to would we survive? Now, put yourself in this. You're
a herptologist and us your boss is like here, we
have to vaccinate you, and like just like hit it
and you start turning into a snake.
Speaker 5 (23:56):
I'm a slippery, little slitherus snake.
Speaker 2 (24:00):
Do you think you're surviving?
Speaker 5 (24:02):
Man? Probably not, But I'm trying to like put myself
in the in the mindset of actually being a herpetologist.
Wanting to do that, then getting a job with some
weirdo and then he then I have to be like, oh,
you're gonna poke me with a needle? Is that cool? Homeboy?
But there's this there's a certain amount of suspension of
disbelief because this guy is a herptologist, should understand that
(24:23):
you don't need daily shots or whatever for antibat.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
Like, so.
Speaker 5 (24:29):
I'm just gonna say that I'm probably going to be
smarter than old Dirk Diggler. So yeah, I would survive
because I wan't fucking stick around.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
You're smart, man, that's the correct answer, because when things
get weird, you'd leave we out like shout, yeah, we're
not hanging out, all right. So moving on to some
monster manuches, because you actually mentioned a a nouche at
the very beginning before we recorded that, I'm saving for
the last that actually ties into the movie that we
will be covering this month or within the next couple weeks.
So before we get to that one, for the scene
(24:58):
where doctor Stoner first injects date Strather, Martin makes a
real hyperdermic puncture on Dirk Benedict's arm with an eagle No,
thank you, Dirk, Tiggler Dirk Diggler. All the venomous snake's
feature were authentic, and the cast actually did have to
interact with them for filming. Only in the shot where
Strather Martin grabs the king Cobra's head during the show
was a puppet snake being used. The poisonous snakes were
(25:21):
not defanged during production. Five king kobras were imported from
Thailand for this feature, ranging from ten to fifteen feet
in length. They have been recently caught in the wild.
They had been recently caught in the wild and were
in good health with full venom capabilities. The snake park
milking scenes were real and meant to mimic what Bill
Haste did at his serpentarium in Florida Daily. I do
(25:45):
not like using the word milking and snake in the
same sentence. That just doesn't feel good. The mongoose in
this movie was actually a tyra, a member of the
weasel family negative to tropical areas of Central American South.
A mayora fooled me. I thought it was a mongoose.
The cast was considerably nervous about interacting with the live snakes.
Star Heather Menzies said she was able to steal her
(26:08):
nerves to work with her scaly co stars during filming
and forgot her original apprehension. However, after the production raft,
she said she reverted back to her original fear of snakes.
For his transformation into a snake, Dirk Benedict Dirk Diggler
spent up to seven hours in makeup, and in the
final stages of the transformation had to be carried to
set on a stretcher. Oh boy. A full body shot
(26:30):
of Red Brown showering he's the one with the weird
toe just before his death scene was blurred at the
studio's insistence so that the film would maintain a PG rating.
At one point during development, Steven Spielberg was asked to direct,
but he turned it down. But he was turned down.
That doesn't make any sense. At one point during development,
Steven Spielberg was asked to direct it, but he was
(26:51):
turned down. So someone asked him and then they're like,
never mind, there's something wrong with that fact. But this
was the last fact that you actually brought up. And
it's very very cool. The first Xenak Brown production, who
later went on to produce the infamous Jaws only two
years later. What a jump.
Speaker 5 (27:11):
Yeah, good for them, really moving up in the world.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
Yeah, they kept Steven Spielberg in their back pocket too,
it seems so that was good for them.
Speaker 5 (27:18):
But I mean they did one, two, three, four, five
six movies in between than Jaws.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
Anything worth mentioning. No, okay, there you go.
Speaker 5 (27:31):
Well, the Clint Eastwood directed The Eiger Sanction. Never even
heard of that, The Sugarlane Express, which is a Spielberg movie.
I've never heard of it, but yeah, no, and Jaws two.
They did Jaws two.
Speaker 2 (27:43):
Also nice who directed Jaws two?
Speaker 5 (27:47):
Jannatt's fart.
Speaker 2 (27:49):
Wow, it wasn't expecting that. I knew it wasn't Spielberg,
but I wasn't expecting whatever you just said.
Speaker 5 (27:54):
Yeah, French director j E. A. N n o T.
S z w Arc.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
Yeah, when people spell things at me, I don't know
what they're saying, but I appreciate you.
Speaker 5 (28:04):
I was hoping that there would be a pronunciation of
this person. It's fine. I stopped caring.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
Yeah, do you have anything else you like to mention about?
Speaker 5 (28:14):
There's dog shit and my life is worse for knowing
that this movie exists.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
But here's look at it this way. No positive spin
your palette is more refined, and now your film knowledge
is even farther expanded. You know what you like and
you know what you don't like. Because guess what, someone
out there, this is the movie that's scared them the most.
They refuse to watch it. It, you know, made them
(28:41):
afraid of snakes. Or there's someone out there that this
is their all time favorite body horror movie.
Speaker 5 (28:47):
Yeah, okay, that person's wrong and they should feel really
bad about themselves.
Speaker 2 (28:51):
Well Jesus, okay, Well, if you're a listening to the show,
we don't feel that way about you, or at least
I don't, so please still stick around and give us
five star.
Speaker 5 (28:59):
If you're a listening the show and this is your
favorite movie, please explain to me why it's your favorite movie.
I'm not gonna shit all over you. I just want
to understand how someone could like this. So I'm legitimately
curious as to someone how could like how they could
like this movie.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
But it's the same reason. See, people could ask us
that question when we talk about like why we like
Thanksgiving or ThanksKilling rather one hundred percent.
Speaker 5 (29:21):
That's what I'm saying is like I understand there are
things that I like that people don't like anal beans included.
Uh so I just want to understand. I just yeah,
just explain to me your point of view. I won't
tell you you're wrong. I'm genuinely curious what redeeming quality
of this movie has because I found zero.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
But you're never gonna forget it.
Speaker 5 (29:38):
Unfortunately, you're welcome.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
So yeah, that's gonna be because we don't really have
much to say on it, and it wasn't good, and
that's probably I'm hoping the last really awful movie we
have to watch the season because everything else looks pretty solid,
which reminds me something on we can tack onto the
end of this episode. And I hope he's listening. We
have a new friend of the show. His name is Anthony.
(30:03):
I believe he is from the UK. Anthony. If you're listening,
please let me know.
Speaker 5 (30:08):
Anthony, please mail me. Hobknobs don't actually do it. Hobknobs
are so fucking good, though.
Speaker 2 (30:12):
I don't know what hobnob is, but it sounds great.
Speaker 5 (30:14):
Believe they're considered digestive biscuits. They're Yeah, they're delightful. Anyways.
Speaker 2 (30:18):
His Instagram handle is my kind of weird dot net
like the words spelled out dotn et my kind of
Weird dot net. He is a curator of my kind
of Weird. He writes about horror comics and bizarre books. Yeah,
he reached out. We became Instagram friends, and he said Tics,
a movie called Tics, should one hundred percent be on
(30:39):
our list. I said, I've never even heard of that movie.
I hate bugs, but I'll add it to the list begrudgingly.
So we're gonna watch Tics for you.
Speaker 7 (30:47):
We got.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
It's not gonna probably come out until the summertime.
Speaker 5 (30:50):
Fuck, oh, when ticks are rampant in my backyard, let's
watch a horror movie about fucking ticks.
Speaker 2 (30:56):
If it's any consolation, they're like from the still that
I saw because I did a little research, they look
like ginormous, So it's not like, really like the ticks
in your backyard if they're that big, if they're the
size of fucking cats.
Speaker 5 (31:08):
No they're not, because the fucking pull them out of
my hair after more.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
So, Yeah, I begrudgingly agreed and I put it on
the list. It should be out around July, so sorry, Anthony,
you do have to wait for that one, but thanks
for the suggestion. Definitely put it on the list. We're
happy to hear from you, and we hope that you
continue to listen to our show and tell them. Uh
but yeah, that's please come hang out with us next time.
(31:35):
We should have if things go to plan, the next
episode you're gonna hear, we're gonna cover a video game
and then a Saint Patti's Day episode, and then resuming
when animals attack. We will be discussing nineteen seventy five's Jaws.
Why are you laughing?
Speaker 5 (31:55):
The way that you said it reminded me of Wayne's
World and.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
In yeah we got we got a lot in the
uh the bank right now. Because we're trying, we are
tempting to do an episode every week, whether it be
a featurette because I actually cut off Friday from Future
at Friday because I was like, what the fuck? Why
why limit myself to Fridays?
Speaker 7 (32:17):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (32:18):
So, yeah, next episode, we will be discussing a game
that Matt played, which is Massacre at the Mirage. Before this,
you should have heard an episode on fasmophobia, but I
forgot to mention that during Frogs and then after that
you'll we hopefully we'll be able to have time to
cover Leprechaun which I haven't seen, and then we will
be talking about Jaws. So that's that's what's coming up
(32:39):
for you the next month or so. It's a lot
of shit, but it's fun. I hope you're as excited
as I am. It's not excited about anything, but yeah,
so we'll catch you on the next one. Bye.
Speaker 5 (32:53):
This movie was a piece of shit.
Speaker 7 (32:58):
You so interested in snakes?
Speaker 5 (32:59):
I got a beauty for you.
Speaker 7 (33:01):
Oh yeah, what kind of snake? You don't know the
name of it, but it's sure the biggest one I
ever saw. Peladan de Carnival's got it in his freak
show Half Snake and half man. Sure worth a look.
Speaker 5 (33:12):
See.
Speaker 7 (33:13):
Oh, come on, you don't really believe all that.
Speaker 5 (33:15):
Stuff, do you.
Speaker 7 (33:16):
I've seen a lot of freak shows. Used to be
a Donica man with the Westcott Brothers Amusements of the World,
fifty three years on the circuit. Never seen one like
that before.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
Well, I'm sure it's just a python made to look
like a man.
Speaker 5 (33:31):
Blue eyes. Sure fooled me.
Speaker 7 (33:34):
You never heard of a snake with blue eyes?
Speaker 5 (34:02):
And English and English sish and what's she daughters
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