October 9, 2024 • 52 mins
What happens when a group of lovable misfits disguises themselves as cultists, only to find themselves in the heart of a magical showdown? Discover the laugh-out-loud antics and strategic brilliance of our Dungeons & Dragons crew as they navigate their way through perilous quests and outrageous scenarios. We kick things off with a lighthearted recap of our previous escapades, where saving a Fae dragon helped us level up and snag some sweet magical gear. With Ekram’s staff of power and Chester’s flying shield, we’re prepped for any challenge the dice throw our way.
Join us as we slip into cult robes and infiltrate a chaotic cityscape, packed with cultists and guarded secrets. With sharp wit and a healthy dose of cunning, we aim to uncover the next target in the cultists' dastardly plan—the lore worm, a vital keystone of our world. The comedic exchanges keep rolling as we tackle the chaos, turning tense standoffs into opportunities for stealth and surprise attacks. Summoning fiery allies and casting powerful spells, we engage in epic battles where the stakes are high, and the jokes fly even higher.
The episode wraps up with some whimsical banter and strategic discussions, featuring our mysterious ally Lead, who shares potions and tales of her heroic past. As we plan our next move toward the lore worms, Ekrem and Tyson entertain with their humorous camaraderie, while we also highlight upcoming comedy gigs and creative projects. We invite you to join the fun by leaving a five-star review, a gesture that’s sure to bring smiles and more magical adventures in the future.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
Welcome to Monster Monster, a real play Dungeons
and dragons show featuringcomedians as the players.
I'm your dm kavin eggleston,joined today by hi.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
I'm tyson cox.
I'm playing chester blackfield.
I punched, I shot a big boltthrough a guy.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
It was pretty good time all right, and my name is
tyler waltz and I will beplaying ekram, a shadow sorcerer
.
Just keep it short and sweettoday.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
All right.
And last session, you folkssuccessfully saved the Fae
dragon, the anchor point of thispart of reality, one of two
dragons that are holdingtogether existence, preventing
the awakening of an elder God.
Did I miss anything in thatrecap?
Speaker 2 (01:04):
We leveled up, we leveled up.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
You guys leveled up.
Chester deceived a group ofcultists into thinking he was
getting revenge for beingcuckolded.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Yep, which never been married.
You're not going to gaslight meinto that, tyler.
I know you wanted to.
You're not going to.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Just because the divorce happened doesn't mean
you have to deny it, likeacceptance is a big part of this
marriage that we decided youhad last week uh, we cut to a
woman doing washing.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
She looks up at a like a framed photograph of
chester.
She says, when will my belovedget here?
And there's a knock at the door, six cultists burst in and
they're like who ordered thesedickings?
Speaker 2 (01:47):
that's the thing I love about Dungeons and Dragons
is when your character autonomyis removed.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
That's my favorite to be fair, we haven't removed any
of your autonomy.
We've removed her autonomy andshe's an NPC.
Oh, I don't like that.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
We said that we didn't, you did also never
canonically.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Chester's never been married.
No.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
The dragon stoops down to look at you guys.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
Hey, thanks guys, You're my favorites.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
You guys saved everything.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
Well, not the shadow area, but we saved this area.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
You saved all the things I care about yeah, I, uh,
thank you guys.
Speaker 3 (02:31):
I, I, I don't know how, how to repay you.
Uh, I shall name any.
Nudges his little egg forwardand you see it starting to hatch
.
He goes, I shall name him.
Hey, wait a minute, I don'tactually know your guys' name.
We kind of met under tryingtimes.
Oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
So are you going to just name it after me, or do I
got to pick the name?
Speaker 1 (02:53):
What is your name?
Well, tell us an answer on thatfirst, before I decide what my
name is in the moment.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
Okay, I was going to name my dragon, for my dragon
spawn after you.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
My name is Knifeblade the Dark.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
And mine's Shitty McDickstain.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Come on, buddy, I'll say Ekrem.
I was trying to give him a coolname I'd like in high school.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
Okay, ekrem, the Nightblade sounds pretty cool.
I'm a fey dragon.
I'm made of flowers andhappiness.
I spit life and I feel like younamed my child something.
This is, it's a misdirect.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
I kind of like uh, like my nickname in high school
was tiny yeah, and if he getsfamous, if they just google
ekram, there's a chance I showup.
So I kind of benefit from thistoo.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
So oh, you're worried about seo uh all right, he, he
also, uh, he breathes a littlebit of, uh, of that draconic
life energy, that magical power.
In front of you, um, ekram, youget a beautifully, beautifully
(04:05):
living staff of wood.
It curls up, it holds a crystalthat shimmers with multiple
colors, almost like a prism, forone that is always in the dark.
You could use a little light.
And you now have a staff ofpower for you.
(04:27):
The same vines, uh, they, theyreach for each other, they
bramble together, uh, and theymake a flying shield.
Oh, that's pretty fucking coolyeah so you can add those items
to your inventory and it's justcalled flying shield pretty
(04:50):
certain, yeah, I'm prettycertain.
I've looked at the items, uh,and he goes, but uh, I feel, uh,
your time is not done savingthe realm while the anchor is
protected.
I feel something terriblecoming and with that you see,
(05:15):
one of the portals that thecultists had been pouring out of
is still open and you see, asyou look through it, a burning
cityscape well, that's, that'swe're gonna have to handle that.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
Yeah, normally we get like a small break after we
either save or don't save thedragon, but this time seems like
we're right back in it yep, doyou uh?
Speaker 2 (05:38):
hey, I noticed you're doing some cool hot breath uh,
some some yoga uh my therapistsays breath work doesn't work.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
But but I'm like you know what, if it makes me feel
good who cares.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
I was going to say maybe you could just breathe on
some of my wounds.
I got some hurt.
You're not.
Hang on, I got it now.
You're life like entropy, notlike life as in, like healing
powers.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
I mean, I am life in its essence.
And he gives you.
You smell lilacs andgooseberries, which gooseberries
are just like giant grapes,right?
Well, I don't know yeah, I'venever had one, they just look
fun.
Fantasy gooseberries yeah, ohgood berries oh, uh, your wounds
(06:22):
, uh, your wounds almost likecovered with a moss and you
basically get the benefits of ashort rest nice.
Ekrem, you get some of yourspell slots back cool so I used
almost all of my spell slots.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
How many is some?
Speaker 2 (06:44):
you know what, but short.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
So it's literally just short rest.
You get a short rest, butyou'll get some.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
You'll, let's get you .
Uh, you can get all your first,second and third level spell
slots back.
Perfect, that's all of them.
And I think with the level upyou get, you have a fourth level
now too.
So, so do you have just one ortwo, just one at fourth level
(07:10):
right now?
Now, I'm sorry, you deservemuch more than this.
You are heroes, you are alwayswelcome here in the Fae realm,
but you still have jobs to do.
And with that, he kind of justgestures you with one wing
towards the portal, like come on, I can take a hint he's kind of
(07:33):
like doing that thing like ahost does at a party, when he's
like you
Speaker 2 (07:36):
guys are staying too long alright, well, it's good to
hang out with you.
You tell Martha we stop by andand Mighty Ekram the Nightblade.
All right, well, it's good tohang out with you.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
You tell Martha we stopped by, and Mighty Ekram the
Nightblade.
I'll tell him of your deed.
I'd say deeds, but we just met.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
He really does only know the one, it's true,
actually, and he probably heardof the other one, but that was a
failure.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Yeah, don't bring that one up.
Speaker 3 (08:01):
I think it's important that he knows that
your failures don't just defineyou, that you can succeed.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
That's actually a pretty good point too.
Speaker 3 (08:08):
I'm trying to teach resiliency.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
You're going to raise a good kid.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
We got to go hey you want to go punch a bunch of
cultists in the dick.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Yeah, I'm not going to punch, but I'll hit them in
the dick for sure.
Nice Hell yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:18):
Magic missile in the man meat.
That's a fun phrase.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Alliteration.
Speaker 3 (08:24):
That's the title of this episode.
All right, you guys burstthrough the portal.
It almost hits you.
That warm, good feeling thatyou've felt in the fey realms,
that brightness of colors, isall of a sudden uh replaced by
(08:46):
the smell of burning timber and,uh, soot and ash, uh you feel
the city um, just tense, likethere's something horrible is
happening.
As you uh make your way fromthis alley, you hear screams and
(09:06):
you hear, uh alarm bells asfire brigades rush around trying
to kind of quell the flames.
You also hear the sound offights and battles.
What would you guys like to do?
Speaker 2 (09:18):
um, does it seem like there's a particular area where
all the cult members are likecoming from?
Speaker 3 (09:24):
uh, there's, you guys are in this alleyway that
there's you're in the heartdistrict.
Um, so you are kind of movinginto this alleyway.
You can kind of see figuresrunning past you.
So if you can run into thatmain street you might have a
better view.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
Okay, cool I will do that that way and ask a similar
question is there a place thatthey all seem to be going to?
Speaker 3 (09:44):
uh, yeah, as you guys move in there, go ahead and
give me a perception check andis there anything like keeping
the alley open?
Or like that.
That portal, yeah, um no, notnecessarily, I think.
With the uh, with you steppingthrough it, the, the goose lord
uh uses his powers as, uh, thearchfey of the realm to just
close off access to his.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
That's what I was hoping for uh, my perception was
15, 15, fantastic eight.
Speaker 3 (10:09):
Okay, um, you got a little smoke in your eyes.
You're like, oh, this spicy Igot spice, I got spicy fog, um,
and uh, ekram, you look in.
You see there's definitely apush.
These, uh, cultists have almostgone a little bit mad with
their failure.
They seem to be striking outnot at the people in the streets
(10:33):
but at the infrastructure ofthe city.
Go ahead and make me I'm justgoing to say, make me an insight
.
Check on this, cool.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
Much worse Nine Not going to brag, but it's four
plus zero four, just say justmake me an insight, check on
this.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
Cool, uh, much worse.
Nine okay, not gonna brag, butit's four plus zero four all
right, you have no idea whythey're just punching walls.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
You're like oh, you've been mad at my dad too.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
You know, this is.
I think I got this.
This is like they all work fora construction company, so
they're gonna come by withquotes later.
Speaker 3 (11:00):
I was thinking you think it's a scam to drum up
business yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
Do you need an insight check to put together
that they just failed killing adragon and now they're mad?
No, that's exactly why youthink they're doing it.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
They're just mad boys , cool they just they're
throwing a cult wide tantrumokay, yeah, well, you guys, you
wanna make our way where they'regoing, where they're from.
What do you want?
Speaker 1 (11:29):
because this is just general.
I didn't notice, with myperception check, that they were
focusing on a location.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
Right, it's just ambient there, uh, there's
random violence occurring aroundyou, uh, again, aimed
specifically at buildings.
Not necessarily like if there'sa person fleeing, they're not
striking them down, uh, but ifsomebody is like trying to
defend their business, they'regetting messed up Um.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
do we have any of those cult robes?
I can't remember.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
I would assume they would still be in my inventory,
unless something happened tothem.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Hey you want to throw in those robes, and then we can
run over and be like, hey, weover.
And be like, hey, we just gotnew orders.
What are we doing over here?
We're told to help you guys out.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
It's a very good idea .
I will also use my Eldritch.
Oh man, I can't remember.
It was the feat I took thatgave me the warlock.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
The Eldritch invocation To at will disguise
yes.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
At will disguise self .
Give the robes Nice.
Speaker 3 (12:19):
Okay, so you approach a couple of these cultists that
are milling over.
What do you do?
What do you say?
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Hey, we got new instructions to come over and
help you guys out.
What are you guys doing?
Speaker 3 (12:33):
It's the time we're waking the sleeper.
If we can't destroy the anchors, we'll wake him the old way,
sorry, with blood and bone.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
Okay, I got a concussion earlier, so I got
some gaps.
We're going to do that just bybeating up.
We're going on a Nintendorampage.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Nintendo ramp.
Are you referencing the game?
Yeah, the game where you're amonster and you just destroy
buildings.
Yep, okay, cool, just makingsure we're on the same page here
.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Game where you're a monster andyou just destroy buildings.
Okay, cool, just making surewe're on the same page.
Yeah, it wasn't the smoothestone, but, um, he go ahead and
make a deception check to see ifhe actually buys your occultist
.
You don't have to, you can makeit with advantage because
you're dressed as them dirty 20okay, all right, he the cultist.
No, we're.
We're the distraction.
While they're fighting us, ourbrothers and sisters are
(13:35):
striking at the one being thatholds this all together.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
Oh, we were supposed to go to that one.
I'm sorry, where is thathappening?
I remember that we werechecking with you for the
location of that.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
Everyone knows where the.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
Echrem is looking at Chester.
Do you want to?
Speaker 3 (13:59):
stop by a medical tent first.
I feel like this concussion isa problem.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
Hey, if we can get all of existence erased, I won't
have to worry about CTE later.
So you're kind of slowing medown on this bud.
You want to help me out?
Help me, help you.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
Ekram's just standing there as the person that's good
with deception going.
Let's see how this goes.
Speaker 3 (14:19):
This is fascinating.
I mean it just, man.
I feel like if you got neworders, the new orders would
have included that you know.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Yeah, chaotic times call for chaotic measures,
brother, uh, I got my initialorders to come over here to
check in with you because theywere pinned on my shirt, so like
I'm doing a pretty good job, Ithink I.
Speaker 3 (14:42):
You know he takes a moment to think.
I feel like this Colt is notrecruiting the brightest, but
you know I can't take time fromburning this building down to
deal with that.
Go to the lore worm.
Slay the lore worm oh, right,yeah cool, all right.
Good, he goes to give you likea fist bump turkey him.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Yeah, I'll see you, bud all right as we walk away,
I'm gonna pat chester on theback and be like hey, buddy,
we'll work on it.
Like I know that you wereexcited, you wanted to get the
information, but maybe I talkedto him and then we work on this
when the world's saved fairenough, you know, I just I got
excited.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
I just, oh, come on, maybe I got this new boomerang
shield.
Should we go save our boss?
Yeah, yeah, oh sorry, it's justlike a foot from the guy no, uh
, yeah clearly we would havestarted doing this on the run
here, quick, some fully work hey, robert, just so you know he
was masturbating.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
That's the sound it makes, uh the old running tug
all right.
Um, how do you guys, uh, makeyour way towards the lure worm
you see in front of you?
Go ahead and give me just a D6roll there, ekram, or just Ekram
.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
Yeah, five.
Speaker 3 (16:05):
Five.
All right In front of you.
You see a group of cultistsapproaching some of the city
guard.
You see a dwarf that looks kindof like Pewter.
She's swinging her hammer backand forth, just not trying to
(16:30):
really hit them, but trying tokeep them wary of.
You see a group of civiliansbehind her.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
How many and how tightly grouped are they?
Just in case it's important.
Speaker 3 (16:42):
Yeah, uh, they're, you know, they're kind of like
spreading out and around tryingto flank her.
She's turning quick yeah, she'sturning around there.
She's got a kind of a smallshield wall of two or three, but
there's five cultists, uh, kindof uh, surrounding them.
You see, leading them is onethat um has given himself over
(17:04):
more towards the, themetamorphosis of the cult.
Um, you see a large, long,gangly arm hanging down from the
robes.
Looks like he's maybe got thearm of an ogre attached to him
on one side.
Uh, you see tentacles andtendrils, uh, sticking out of
the claw or his tattered robesand various angles.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
A hand holds a rusty sword on a scale of one to ten,
how fireballable are they?
Speaker 2 (17:32):
I mean everyone's fireballable, uh, the real
question is how fireballadjacent are the people we like
right and can they take afireball?
No, but I do.
All right, you take the big one, I'll take the five guys yeah,
I like this all right get theburger yeah yeah but I don't
(17:55):
know, the burgers aren't great,but boy, they give you a shit
ton of french fries.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
I think there's a lot of people that would be upset
at you for saying they don'thave big burgers.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
That's probably just my opinion, man.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
Yep, yep, all right.
Do you want big five guysagainst us?
Is that what?
Speaker 2 (18:08):
it is.
Are you trying to turn Old bigburger?
Speaker 3 (18:10):
coming down on Monster Pod.
Watch this Four tiny guys, onebig guy, five guy.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Yeah, I'll take the bigger deal.
Speaker 3 (18:17):
Okay, I'm going to go ahead and give me.
Do you want to try to sneak upon them?
How are you wanting to do this?
Do you want to charge in behind?
Speaker 2 (18:26):
them.
I'm just running as if we're apart of the group.
You know what I mean.
I'm going to use that toadvantage and just punch one of
them in the back of the head.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
I was going to ask if we needed to roll initiative.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
Yeah go First off.
I'm just going to have you guysroll a quick stealth to see if
you can approach unseen orunheard.
Speaker 3 (18:45):
For some reason.
I'm a real good stealth.
Oh shit, Ten.
Okay.
Upside they got a one on thatperception to spot you guys, so
they're very dialed in Eighteen.
Yeah, they're dialed in on thisgroup.
They have a goal.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Do we get a surprise round?
Speaker 3 (18:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
Okay, then Do we get a surprise round?
Yeah, then I'm going to justrun up and, like I said, I'm
just trying to punch one in theback of the base of the spine.
You know, just make the legsand the brain disconnect from
each other.
You know, just fun, just forgoofs.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
Just a little paralysis for goofs.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
Well, you're trying to kill the normal nice people
and my buddies and my friendPewter's in trouble.
Speaker 3 (19:16):
So oh, it looks like Pewter Fair.
Very important distinction introuble.
It looks like Pewter Fair.
What was your initiative?
Speaker 2 (19:24):
Oh, I wonder if something's going to be amiss
with Pewter when we get there,my initial what?
Speaker 3 (19:29):
What was your initiative?
Speaker 1 (19:34):
Average 13.
5.
Pretty low.
What's your dex?
That was with my dex 10 plus 3.
Speaker 3 (19:39):
Plus 3 is my dex modifier.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
What's your dex?
Speaker 1 (19:40):
That was with my dex.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
Okay, yeah, so 10 plus three what's your dex
modifier Plus?
Speaker 1 (19:42):
three is my dex modifier.
What was yours?
Speaker 3 (19:45):
Five.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
Five, okay, pretty bad.
Speaker 3 (19:47):
Yeah, no, and I've seen worse, but not today.
Pretty hard to get worse.
And then, okay, all right, youguys do get a surprise round, so
that's good.
They just don't get a turn,because 5e's I'm not mad, 5e's
(20:08):
stuff is dumb as far as howsurprise rounds work.
But whoa Jesus.
Okay, ekron, what would youlike to do first?
Speaker 1 (20:18):
I would like to use my bonus action to summon my
Hound of Bad Omen and basicallysummon it to target the big guy.
Speaker 3 (20:26):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
And then Do you have a cool catchphrase for him, Like
bite his butt.
I'm working on it.
I gotta think of a good way to.
Speaker 3 (20:33):
Bite his butt is a catchphrase.
Huh, Eat his ass, damn itthat's gonna go on a shirt.
Could Eat his ass, damn itthat's going to go on a shirt.
Could be worse Get our monster,monster merch at our Zazzle
shop.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
Hound of Ill Omen.
Okay, what's?
Speaker 3 (20:46):
this dog look like?
How would flavor this for me?
Speaker 1 (20:51):
You ever see the movie the Mask, I was going to
say I don't want to saystereotypical, but the normal
way that Cerberus is kind ofportrayed with like flames down
his back and stuff like thatflaming fur, except it's just a
one-headed dog okay, what breed?
Speaker 3 (21:05):
uh, oh that's a good question.
Is it german?
Shepherd german shepherds a lotinstead of one-headed cerberus
oh yeah, let me check the akclisting for cerberus.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
It's just one uh, do you want to have a hell of a
time?
Get our dog all right?
Uh, nope, random cat ranthrough that's because you
mentioned dogs all right sure umall right, so your servers
latches on.
That's your bonus action, uhit'll share an attack with me.
Um, and then, to conserve spellslots, I'll just fire bolt for
now.
Uh, the big boy, yes, okay, andthat is a 13 to hit okay, uh it
(21:41):
doesn't, it does not okay, andthen my dog goes in for the bite
.
Uh natural 20 on the dog okayuh, so because it's using the
dire wolf stats, uh, a strengthsaving throw of 13 to see if he
gets pinned.
Speaker 3 (21:59):
Okay, he doesn't.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
Okay, you pinned him Four six, nine Okay, we got 14
piercing damage, okay, and he isprone on the ground.
Oh, plus three, so sorry aboutthat, okay, 17.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
That's a good bite from the dog.
Yeah, and that ends my turn.
All right, chester, what wouldyou like to do?
17.
That's a good bite from the dog, and that ends my turn.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
Chester, what would you like to do?
I'd like to run up and then usemy action to just take two
swings at either one cultist ortwo cultists, if one is soft and
falls down.
So that is going to be firstattack 10.
(22:44):
Alright, that first swingmisses one of the cultists, I'll
take another swing at him.
Okay, uh, 15 that'll hit, allright sweet, that's gonna be a
12 damage okay, you crumble thisguy, uh, roll your wild magic,
oh, yeah, and then, as a bonusaction, I'd like to use
misdirection okay uh I got anatural 20 on that.
(23:06):
Uh, um wild magic okay, allright, fantastic.
Speaker 3 (23:15):
Let's see what happens with a 20.
Oh, come on, do you love whenyou open up a chart and it's
like, hey, we have a zoom, butit actually doesn't do anything
like why do we even have a chart, guys?
Uh, a 20, all right, go aheadand give me a dexterity saving
(23:40):
throw.
Oh so you take a big old pop atthis guy and, uh, grease erupts
around you seven as thathappens.
You fall prone.
Uh, you just fall down on your.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
You're like oh, I'm a slippery boy.
Uh, as a bonus action, I stillwant to try to do that.
Misdirect, yeah, on the big bad.
So he has to make a dc.
Uh, 15 intelligence okay yeah,definitely we'll.
Speaker 3 (24:05):
We'll say you, uh, you slip, slip a little bit
after this happens or I can makeit.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
You know what I mean.
Like it depends how it workswhat's the save?
Speaker 3 (24:13):
yes, to what number has intelligence?
15, 15?
Speaker 2 (24:16):
okay, he doesn't all right, sweet, look.
Can we say like I hit that guyand then like I slip and fall
and like kind of shuffleseveryone around, so like he's
doing, like Flavor it how youwant.
Yeah, so like I hit the one guyand I crumple him, but then I
explode in grease and then fallon the ground, I just you're
super lubed up.
Speaker 3 (24:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
Yeah, I think having that causes everyone to kind of
shuffle like three card Monty,so he's not sure who's who.
Okay, now he must use his uhact, one of his uh.
Speaker 3 (24:43):
His reaction like to so he takes a reaction to hit
something.
Yep, okay, uh, is it just aspell or a melee attack?
Speaker 2 (24:51):
Uh, I believe well, it says causes them to attack.
Speaker 3 (24:56):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
All right, okay, all right, yeah, that'll definitely
hit.
Uh okay, so that'll hit one ofthese cultists and it's their
reaction.
Speaker 3 (25:07):
So it'd be like, yeah , so he can't take a reaction
during his until his next turnokay, cool as hell.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
That's so cool and strong and good all right.
Speaker 3 (25:14):
Uh, he just as you.
I can just see this is like youkind of falling.
You grab him and you spin himaround and his sword just lops
off another cultist's head.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
There's no blood on me, it's fine.
Speaker 3 (25:31):
Well, the upside, you're so greased up, the blood
will just roll off like wateroff a duck's back.
All right, that's going to makeit all right back into the top
of the round.
So this zealot looks at youback.
Nice, all right, uh, that'sgonna make it all right back
into the top of the round.
So this, uh, this zealot looksat you.
Um, zealot, oh, it's pinned.
I didn't even think of thatlike so, it didn't lop off a
head when this happened, becauseit's pinned by the it just like
(25:53):
cut a guy off at the knees.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
Uh, yeah, even worse, somehow because when you die,
you're dead fast.
His legs came off and then hefell on his stumps.
Speaker 3 (26:03):
So he?
The first thing he does is hejust using that big ogre arm to
like, push your hound of omen upoff of him and you see him just
wink out of existence andalmost like he falls through
shadow and appears behind.
(26:26):
Chester so he teleports behindChester.
Everyone make strength savingthrows everybody.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
Yeah, how does that work, with me being prone?
Speaker 3 (26:41):
you still make it normally okay, 21 3 okay, you're
fine, you're still prone.
You feel yourself yankedtowards the spot where he
existed.
Make it also for your ill, yourhound, okay does it?
Speaker 2 (26:58):
uh, just pull the grease off me.
Is that what it is?
It just can't get a hold of me.
Speaker 3 (27:02):
It's slippery these tendrils are trying to reach up
from the shadows.
They're like yo yo, no gross.
Speaker 2 (27:06):
Yo, this is it's crisco.
I was cooking a lot of baconthis week, sorry uh 10 for the
dog okay, uh, it's pull two.
Speaker 3 (27:13):
So you guys are gonna take 4d8 worth of force damage
as you're pulled towards thisthing upside on your end.
Is it wiped out?
The other cultists when he didthis?
Cool, so they're dead.
But 4d, where's my d8s?
Alright, 13 21, no 15 23 you'regonna take 23 points of force
(27:44):
damage um warlocks are known fortheir hardy constitution.
Speaker 2 (27:49):
Right, I'm not a warlock, I'm a sorcerer, even
better it's episode 16.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
I understand why you're just learning this now.
Uh, it's all spells to me,buddy.
That was one point higher thanhalf my health, why you're just
learning this now.
It's all spells to me, buddy.
That was one point higher thanhalf my health, so yeah, okay,
good to know.
Speaker 3 (28:09):
Then behind you, chester, go ahead, and I don't
like the tone in his voice rightnow.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
I'm about to make my first move ever with this power
staff to just break it over myknee 13?
Speaker 2 (28:25):
Yeah, I do not believe it does Okay.
Speaker 3 (28:27):
So you feel a tugging in your mind as it searches for
your thoughts.
Open your mind to me.
Speaker 2 (28:35):
No, okay, I respect boundaries.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
Thank you very much.
You should have been like whatare you into Another?
Speaker 3 (28:44):
13.
And a crit.
So, then he takes as he does,that he catches you kind of off
guard and smacks you real goodwith his sword.
You are going to take D6.
So five, nine, nine, eighteenpiercing damage and then nine
(29:08):
points of psychic damage.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
All right, is that all you got?
I mean, it felt like it waspretty good.
It was pretty good, I'm notgoing to lie, pretty good Game,
respect, game, my dude.
Speaker 3 (29:24):
You're hearing this just in your head.
He's like thanks, you seem likea decent fellow.
I hate to have to kill you.
Speaker 2 (29:30):
Oh, you seem like a piece of shit.
I can't wait to kill you.
Speaker 1 (29:33):
I know that's not how the quote goes, but All right
all right, uh, that'll bring usto ekram your turn, okay, um,
let's utilize this new uh staffof power.
I will expend three charges ofit right, no, five charges of it
to cast lightning bolt on himokay, uh, let's get his deck
(29:55):
saving throw.
Speaker 3 (29:56):
What's the number he's got to beat?
14.
Yes, all right, he uh fails.
Go ahead and lightning bolt him.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
Oh, I just realized that.
Uh, okay, I just read it ascasting lightning bolt, but you
get to cast it at third level,so so that's the level it's.
Oh, it is a third level spell.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
Okay, cool, run on 86 , and that's why you get a cast
at third.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
It'd be weird if they were like do this on the app,
Heck with you.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
Just do it at second level, figure that out, do a
couple minuses.
We're not going to tell youwhat the thing is.
Speaker 1 (30:29):
All right.
8d6 came out to 30 lightningdamage.
Speaker 3 (30:33):
All right, you smell the smell of like cooked seafood
, like calamari, uh, and alsoburnt ogre flesh as a lightning
crackles over him, Uh.
You hear in your mindhistorically, a tick moved to
hit a guy when he doesn't expectit.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
I'm here to shit.
I'm not here to fight fairfights, I'm here to win.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
You hit me when I was on the ground.
I know I'm evil.
Speaker 3 (31:00):
Well, it's kind of my thing.
You seem like you guys are verynot understanding roles here.
Speaker 1 (31:05):
I mean the world's complex, more of an anti-hero
kind of thing.
Shades of Grey.
Also the move that we had tosave against that did 23 damage,
that did kill the Hound ofIll-Owned, so that he's not in
anymore.
I'm sorry about your dog.
You feel like you're having aJohn Wick moment.
I'll summon him later.
He just kind of goes away and Ican bring him back.
Oh, so not a.
Speaker 3 (31:26):
John Wick moment.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
More of a like a I just want to kill you, you might
be the bad guy.
Speaker 2 (31:31):
It's like a Tamagotchi.
You were supposed to feel badwhen those died too.
Speaker 1 (31:37):
I need a something that has a reset button feels
more like a.
Speaker 3 (31:43):
I killed my cultist too, so we all have gotten rid
of something we love today.
That's permanent not when wereset reality in our own image
he's got a point are we all theTamagotchi of this world?
Speaker 2 (31:57):
I think so.
Speaker 3 (31:58):
Roll existential crisis what would that be?
The Tamagotchi of this world?
I think so Roll ExistentialCrisis.
What would that be?
What would my modifier be?
D20 Wisdom Wisdom saving throw.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
So that's good, because it's going to be a three
, three, all right, was that allyour turn?
Speaker 3 (32:13):
Yes, that was my turn , so it goes to your turn.
The reason why I have you rollthat with a three this guy, the
reason why I have you roll thatwith a three this guy, you are
now questioning existencecompletely.
Oh, chester.
Your wisdom saving throw failed.
You're going to take 2d6psychic damage.
Speaker 1 (32:28):
What Was that?
Me too, or just Chester?
Speaker 3 (32:30):
No, you're just close , you're out of his range.
So you take eight points ofpsychic damage.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
All right.
Well, I hope there's like apoke arrest area, like a nurse
joy, because I'm getting realfucking dipped up here bud.
Speaker 3 (32:44):
All right, what would ?
Speaker 2 (32:47):
you like to do, chester, hit the wrong button.
There we go.
I'm going to well, I'm going toget up.
So I'll probably use my half mymovement to get up.
Okay, yeah, I'm going to do acool like in the movie Upgrade,
where I just kind of like throwmy elbows back and just to my
feet, okay, nice.
And then I'm going to punch himreally good.
So I'm going to run over justlike one to him.
Speaker 3 (33:08):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
With my good punches.
And that is a 21 on the firstattack, Definitely a hit, a ooh
even better, 24 on the second.
Speaker 3 (33:23):
Okay, definitely a hit.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
Okay, and that's 9 Plus, so 19 total damage.
Speaker 3 (33:30):
Okay, fantastic, is he still up?
Yeah, he is, but he's lookingpretty jacked up.
Action surge.
Speaker 2 (33:36):
I get that back on a short rest, right.
I'll have to mark that in asecond For speed.
Looking pretty jacked up.
Action surge Okay, I get thatback on a short rest, right.
Yep, I'll have to mark that ina second for speed.
Second attack or third attack19.
Okay, that'll hit and a 18.
Speaker 3 (33:51):
Okay, that'll hit too yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
Hit those buttons real fast, 11 plus 12.
This guy's on Hit those buttonsreal fast, 11 plus 12.
Speaker 3 (34:00):
Alright, this guy's on death's door.
Go ahead and also roll your d20to see if you surge.
Speaker 2 (34:09):
Surge Is that every attack, or just when I attack,
every attack no 8.
Speaker 3 (34:16):
Nope 8.
Nope, 8?
That's crazy.
And six, okay.
I was like, are you justrolling d8s?
Are you just looking at thedice options?
I like that one, all right.
Uh, so you don't surge on anyof those.
Um, fantastic dude, uh, goahead.
(34:36):
And uh, let's see, that makesit this, this dwarf.
Uh, she runs up and uh, she'sjust gonna slap her uh hand on
you and be like you got this bud.
Speaker 1 (34:52):
Uh thank you thank you pewter?
Speaker 3 (34:56):
I feel like you should have hit him you know,
you know, pewter, you seen mesister nope we hung out one time
.
Speaker 2 (35:08):
We're not that close.
Speaker 3 (35:09):
Haven't seen her in a while you're gonna heal for 12
plus 4, so 16 points as she layson hands.
Speaker 2 (35:20):
Oh, thank you so much for that.
Speaker 3 (35:22):
All right, that brings us back up to the top,
this cultist.
Let's see if he gets hisrecharge back.
He does not.
All right.
All right, ekrem.
Speaker 1 (35:37):
Yes, does a 23 hit.
Nope, don't worry about it.
I don't even think castingshield would help me in this
situation.
Speaker 3 (35:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (35:46):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (35:47):
All right, 23 hits.
Go ahead and make a wisdomsaving throw for me, oh good.
Speaker 1 (35:55):
Yeah, if you could go ahead and that one baby.
Speaker 2 (35:57):
Oh, no you should do me a favor.
Kill him on this turn, becausehe hurts me a lot.
Speaker 3 (36:04):
I'm trying.
Speaker 2 (36:04):
I've done 30.
Speaker 3 (36:05):
21 points of psychic damage.
I'm down, all right.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
That's not what I asked you to do.
Speaker 1 (36:11):
You're also stunned, but that was the exact amount of
damage you needed to do to downme.
Speaker 3 (36:15):
That was the exact amount of damage he needed to do
to down me.
Oh wow, Do you have thatability?
I?
Speaker 1 (36:19):
do because it wasn't necrotic damage.
Yeah, so I get to do Cool, I'mfine.
Speaker 3 (36:26):
Are you back up?
Yes, I'm back up, okay.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
Just don't hit me again.
Speaker 3 (36:33):
He sees you go down, he's like oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:36):
Let's knock this shit off.
Speaker 3 (36:38):
I feel like I kind of want to hit him again, now that
he said don't hit me again.
He said it out loud no, uh, allright, yeah, I just I imagine
that it looks like you, uh,almost like your shadowy clone,
kind of like pulls you back up Iwas thinking like my knees
buckled but I recovered before Ihit the ground.
So kind of like when you're alittle too drunk but you're like
, yeah, I still gotta get thisbudweiser from this bar yeah
(36:59):
yeah, pull it together.
Ekram, that knee goes out.
Yeah, you're drunk behind this.
Uh, this thing, this, thiscultist.
You see your shadowy self, justkind of like eyeing you and be
like give in can you fuck offfor like an hour?
Speaker 1 (37:18):
Can I get some fucking peace?
I'm part of you, I don't give ashit.
Speaker 3 (37:24):
It's like it'd be, like you were like hey, can I
get my ear to go away?
You can't.
Speaker 1 (37:29):
You can.
Van Gogh did it right.
You do want to cut off your earFucking if it gets you out of
my head for an hour.
Speaker 3 (37:36):
Maybe, Try.
Speaker 2 (37:45):
You want to cut off your ear fucking.
Speaker 1 (37:46):
If it gets you out of my head for an hour, maybe try
it.
That feels like it would be onepoint of damage.
Just drop yourself.
Well, at least you shut up.
Speaker 3 (37:49):
But okay, everything's fine, everything is
fine, uh, and then he's gonnatake two stabs with his sword at
chester 2 26.
Speaker 2 (37:58):
No, yes.
Speaker 3 (38:00):
Alright, bud.
I feel like this guy is tougherthan all the cultist dragons
that you fought.
Speaker 2 (38:06):
Yeah, he's been a real rough boy.
He has just base brain wavedamage.
Okay, you're gonna take 9piercing damage from his sword
and then gosh bud 11 psychicdamage all right, let's just say
it was a good thing that uh notpewter came over and high-fived
(38:28):
my back don't call her neuter.
Speaker 3 (38:30):
Uh, I just did I didn't all right chester, that's
your turn.
I'm sorry, ekram, that's yourturn, okay um, I sorry, ekrem,
that's your turn.
Speaker 1 (38:39):
Okay, I'm just going to keep leaning on this Staff of
Power right now because I wantto save my spell slots for some
cool shit that I got.
I'm going to man.
I don't want to be a one-trickpony, but Lightning Bolt seems
like a pretty good option again.
Yeah, I'm just going toLightning Bolt again.
I was going to hold holdmonster.
Speaker 3 (39:04):
But if he's doing psychic stuff then he doesn't
need to move to do that.
Speaker 1 (39:06):
Um so yep, lightning that dexterity saving throw
please, okay.
23, okay, well, he still takeshalf damage, which is enough.
26, so I'll take 13.
Speaker 3 (39:15):
Uh you, thank god you obliterate this thing.
The lightning bolt slams intohim, lifts him off his feet and
it just vaporizes this cultist.
Speaker 2 (39:23):
Good, no loot on his body to investigate.
Speaker 1 (39:27):
I was going to take that girthy arm of his.
Speaker 3 (39:30):
Just the arm is there , as all that's left.
It like ripped off the stitches.
He's like that was fresh.
He just vaporizes.
Uh.
All that's left is uh, there'sa medallion, uh, left from the
smoldering ruins of the.
Speaker 2 (39:46):
Well, we can't touch it right now.
It's probably very hot to thetouch probably yeah, so we're
gonna give it a few minutes oh,I'll mage hand it oh, boom yeah
your mage hands just like no, no.
Speaker 3 (39:56):
And then picks it up A little hot mage hand, Like
when you have a potato.
Oh no.
Speaker 2 (40:02):
You know we could have just waited while we talked
to um not what was your name?
I'm sorry, I didn't catch yourname in the middle of all this
hubba blue oh, uh.
I'm, I'm lead what a what aelegant name like the poisoning
yeah, well, I mean, I do dopoison damage with this hammer.
Speaker 3 (40:23):
Oh poison your life out of you.
Speaker 2 (40:26):
I was gonna say poison on a hammer is insane.
That's a pretty crazy like.
In case the bludgeoning don'tget you, give it 45 minutes yeah
, it'll seep through the skin.
Speaker 3 (40:35):
What do you?
What do you know of me, sister?
Speaker 2 (40:38):
I believe last time we saw her she went into the
shadow realm and that was it.
She ran off.
Speaker 1 (40:43):
Yeah, she played Yu-Gi-Oh too hard she.
Speaker 3 (40:47):
We always knew the trap card would get her one day.
We always said Pewter, don't beplaying the.
Speaker 1 (40:53):
Yu-Gi-Oh.
We were hoping she made it out,Just for context, just to make
sure I'm remembering or anybodythat's tuning in is remembering.
We are fairly certain she'sdead Right.
Speaker 3 (41:03):
When the realm collapsed, she collapsed with it
.
Speaker 2 (41:08):
Chester's a hopeful guy.
We didn't see her die Like.
You know how TV shows havepeople die off screen and then
they're like haha, just kidding.
Speaker 3 (41:15):
You think this is an x-men character situation?
Speaker 2 (41:16):
it could be that's up to you, isn't it?
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (41:20):
uh, I, we, we fear the worst, but, uh, you know I,
she probably died doing what she.
Speaker 1 (41:27):
She did, I will be honest, saving people I will say
that we didn't literally seeher die, but chances are she was
consumed when we were trying todefend the dragon.
I'll be very sincere about it.
Speaker 3 (41:39):
I will say I appreciate that If you're
friends of Pewter, you'refriends of mine, and she reaches
into her pouch and she givesyou each a potion of greater
healing.
Speaker 1 (41:50):
Oh, my god, yeah, thank you.
Well, um, I was going to make ajoke saying that we were
friends with your sister, butI'm not now.
Speaker 2 (41:58):
I like you're like, I'm going to be sincere and then
just be a real dipshit.
Speaker 3 (42:03):
Also be careful that those potions are lined with
lead.
You might get a little bit oflead poisoning.
Speaker 1 (42:07):
I just kidding, it's fucking fine, that's Tyler
seeping into Ekrem.
Speaker 2 (42:10):
Yeah, uh, I uh, I'm going to go ahead and because
we're on our way to like thelore worms area cheers buddy and
drink the potion what's the?
Speaker 3 (42:22):
greater healing do let's see what does the greater
healing potion do?
Speaker 1 (42:29):
I feel like it's more than that 44 increase the
amount of d4s 44 plus 4 hitpoints when you drink this
potion you said plus 4 hitpoints when you drink this
potion, you said plus 4?
Speaker 2 (42:41):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (42:42):
Nice 10.
Speaker 2 (42:44):
Also 10.
Okay.
Speaker 3 (42:47):
Better than 0.
Yeah, if you follow me I'lltake you the back way to the
lore worms where they seem to becongregating.
Uh, the defenses are holdingthe city, most of the watches
there but uh, you, you see,she's like, but somebody has got
to look out for the wee folkand she points to the group of
uh County commoners that she wasshielding with her, her fellow
(43:11):
um watchmen.
She's like they can take themfrom here.
But you boys look like you needa little backup.
Speaker 2 (43:19):
Yeah, I'm not going to say no.
Speaker 3 (43:24):
to someone with character levels oh no.
Commoner stats oh no you'regood, then you need to stay here
.
Speaker 2 (43:28):
Do not.
I don't need to see you die aswell.
Speaker 3 (43:31):
I'm just the last in my family.
Yeah, nope, you stay here.
They always, they always toldme hey, led, uh, the name rides
with you.
Yeah, I look at all thecommenters.
Speaker 2 (43:40):
They're like hey, you find any of them handsome
because you guys could.
You guys could hang out and geta, get a family going and not
immediately die at the firstkind of anything.
Speaker 3 (43:49):
I got a brother.
His name is ryan.
Uh, you can.
You can save him.
He's a private in the army.
You can save private ryan ifyou need to.
Speaker 1 (43:55):
Wow, that's kind of crazy.
That seemed way out of.
Speaker 2 (43:57):
You pulled that out of Did your back hurt, Kevin.
That was a stretch.
Speaker 3 (44:03):
Well, I've been carrying this campaign this
whole goddamn time.
Speaker 2 (44:08):
Is she a commoner or is?
Speaker 3 (44:09):
she a she's a city guardsman.
Speaker 2 (44:12):
All right.
Well, let's head down.
I look at the commoners and I'mlike that feels so bad to say.
I look at the people.
I turn to the people huddle.
I'm like it's all right,everybody, it's going to be okay
and I kind of hope peoplerecognize me just a little bit
so they can be like.
So I'm kind of like hamming itup a little bit.
Speaker 3 (44:35):
It's not a great speech because Chester's kind of
dumb, give it up a little bit.
It's not a great speech becauseChester's kind of dumb Give me
a persuasion check.
I don't say they had anadvantage, they just watched you
cover yourself in grease andrun at cultists Squee.
The guy with the lightning boltstaff seems like he might have
been a little bit more essential.
Speaker 2 (44:52):
I got a 19.
Okay, but I'm like it's goingto be alright, we're here to
help's gonna be okay.
Speaker 3 (44:57):
Just watch out for each other and be kind uh, yeah,
you see the look of like someof them like that's, it's him,
it's, it's the number one killer, the number one killer's.
Here we might have a chance.
Speaker 1 (45:10):
Yeah, the number one killer's here I'll press the
digitation a little bit of likefireworks off your shoulder.
Be like everything's okay, it'sgoing to
Speaker 3 (45:18):
be just like shadowy kind of creepy fireworks.
No, no, all right, yes they.
I mean, you've kind of ralliedthis group of people.
They're feeling at least alittle bit more hope in this
situation.
Go ahead, and both of you giveme a perception.
Speaker 2 (45:33):
Check 17, 17 17 14.
Speaker 3 (45:40):
You see down the street um darting into an
alleyway.
You see a small girl.
She turns and looks at you andthen skips down the alleyway
well, that seemed like weirdlyspecific to point out.
Speaker 2 (46:00):
It's either a really creepy girl, because that's a
weird thing to do in such atrying time, or the one that has
visited me in my dreams.
All right, it's a bigdifference.
Is it the one that visited mein my dreams?
Speaker 3 (46:14):
Go ahead and give me an intelligence check.
Speaker 1 (46:16):
Oh no, Go ahead and fail this one, tyson's what I
just heard true weakness, and Inotice it.
Or just you notice what?
Speaker 3 (46:25):
did you roll in perception 14, 14?
Yeah, you notice it too.
Okay, and you can roll a arcanato see if you would be able to
piece this together, I got an 18okay, fantastic, yeah.
You recall your dream vividly,like this is the child that you
saw in your dreams.
Speaker 2 (46:38):
Yeah, no, she's visited in my dreams.
I think it's a pretty good omen.
Okay, so you think we?
Speaker 1 (46:45):
should follow.
Speaker 2 (46:46):
Is that?
What kind of yeah yeah, it'snot a bad omen.
Speaker 1 (46:49):
My arcana didn't tell me anything, so I will follow
your lead.
Speaker 3 (46:52):
Yeah, you dart down, I skip down, you skip down you
follow.
Mm-hmm, it's fucking playful asshit.
Give me a performance, check,homie.
Speaker 1 (46:59):
Hell yeah, I was going to say let's tone it down.
Speaker 3 (47:01):
I'm just going to walk around, I'm just laying
like You're just watching thisgiant, burly, bare-knuckled
boxer that's covered in greaseand blood.
Speaker 1 (47:09):
Scraping a little girl down an alley, that's so
don't whistle.
Speaker 2 (47:16):
It makes it sound like it's not threatening, but
it's wrong.
I got a 14 14.
Speaker 3 (47:21):
Okay, you do a pre uh , as you guys uh, make this.
You see the, the brick, uh, thelight of the fires in the city
and the street lamps that arestill working, um, kind of
diminishes uh, and you seealmost like a technicolor hue
take to everything.
You see the girl standing inthis kind of empty space as she,
(47:49):
where she stands, there's aradiating pool of shimmering
light.
She turns.
I see you're here for moregames.
Always, I don't like the onesthey're playing right now.
Speaker 2 (48:11):
Chester kind of walks over and gets on one knee and
puts a hand on her shoulder.
He's like it's gonna be okay.
Speaker 3 (48:18):
She just gives you a hug.
Speaker 2 (48:21):
I give her a hug and go.
This world might always seemkind, but it's always.
You got to look for the good,you got to find the good.
Speaker 3 (48:30):
She just like, she nuzzles into you, like just a
person just needing thatreassurance.
That's why I like you, you, youalways see the good, even in
the bad situations.
Um, in the dark, around thislight radiance, you see six
glowing eyes open.
They are glowing red, notmaliciously or hatefully.
Speaker 2 (49:06):
I was like oh no.
Speaker 3 (49:09):
Go ahead and give me you almost feel this feeling of
like acceptance andunderstanding.
Go ahead and give me just astraight up I'm going to say
just a straight up charismacheck.
Speaker 2 (49:27):
Four, four Perfect time for the dramatic moment.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (49:31):
No, this is great.
You feel your senses just kindof like this thing wants inside
your mind and as this happens,like you try to kind of throw up
a wall, this mental like block,but everything that's happening
.
You're just worn down.
And this wave of relief, fear,anxiety, but at the same time
(49:56):
hope, and you realize whateverthis thing is that you're seeing
, believes in you, fullytrusting in you, you gain the
fey-touched feet.
Speaker 2 (50:15):
Oh shit.
Speaker 3 (50:17):
As if this, this thing, she goes.
I'm worried when this is allover, you won't come back and
play games with me if I'm stillhere, I'll come play games all
right, ekram.
What are you doing when you seeall this?
Speaker 1 (50:34):
what the fuck is happening.
Chester's got a kid.
Speaker 3 (50:39):
And he had it with his wife.
Speaker 1 (50:40):
I can't have.
I don't have a wife.
I feel like this would havecome up sooner.
Speaker 3 (50:46):
Do you know my mummy?
No, Ekrem, in your ear you heara voice.
I swear to God, it doesn't looklike he needs you anymore.
It looks like he's grown pastyou.
Don't worry, buddy.
I'm still here for you, ekrem,and that's where we're going to
(51:09):
end this session.
Speaker 2 (51:11):
Okay, yeah, get fucked nerd.
Speaker 1 (51:14):
That's fine, that's fine, good for you.
I'll figure it out All right,hey guys.
Thanks's fine, that's fine,good for you.
Speaker 3 (51:19):
I'll figure it out All right.
Hey guys, Thanks for the end ofthis session.
Tyson, where can we find you?
Where can we see you?
Speaker 2 (51:26):
Oh, I'm at Tyson Cox Comedy.
I travel all over, so check outmy website at.
Tysoncoxcomedycom and follow meon Instagram at TysonCoxComedy.
Speaker 3 (51:38):
My name is Tyler Waltz and you can find
everything I do at nerd news andI'm cavin eggleston.
I uh dm some of the live shows.
We have live shows coming up.
Uh, tyson will be back to tellyou where those ones are
upcoming.
And, uh, as always, thispodcast is edited by robert
schmabbert, so give robertschmabbert a follow on instagram
.
Yeah, he's really great and hekept in the stuff that made
tyler and tyson look bad, butthe stuff that made me look good
there too, but he cut out thestuff where I got weird thanks,
(52:02):
robert yeah, robert puts in alot of work.
Yeah, you don't want to sayunsung heroes, but we're singing
right now for this boy.
All right, thank you guys.
If you like what we're doing,give us a review on any of the
services.
If you don't like what we do,just just say five stars.
That's how we know you hate usif you put five stars.
Bye.
Welcome to Monster Monster, a real play Dungeons
and dragons show featuringcomedians as the players.
I'm your dm kavin eggleston,joined today by hi.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
I'm tyson cox.
I'm playing chester blackfield.
I punched, I shot a big boltthrough a guy.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
It was pretty good time all right, and my name is
tyler waltz and I will beplaying ekram, a shadow sorcerer
.
Just keep it short and sweettoday.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
All right.
And last session, you folkssuccessfully saved the Fae
dragon, the anchor point of thispart of reality, one of two
dragons that are holdingtogether existence, preventing
the awakening of an elder God.
Did I miss anything in thatrecap?
Speaker 2 (01:04):
We leveled up, we leveled up.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
You guys leveled up.
Chester deceived a group ofcultists into thinking he was
getting revenge for beingcuckolded.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Yep, which never been married.
You're not going to gaslight meinto that, tyler.
I know you wanted to.
You're not going to.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Just because the divorce happened doesn't mean
you have to deny it, likeacceptance is a big part of this
marriage that we decided youhad last week uh, we cut to a
woman doing washing.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
She looks up at a like a framed photograph of
chester.
She says, when will my belovedget here?
And there's a knock at the door, six cultists burst in and
they're like who ordered thesedickings?
Speaker 2 (01:47):
that's the thing I love about Dungeons and Dragons
is when your character autonomyis removed.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
That's my favorite to be fair, we haven't removed any
of your autonomy.
We've removed her autonomy andshe's an NPC.
Oh, I don't like that.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
We said that we didn't, you did also never
canonically.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Chester's never been married.
No.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
The dragon stoops down to look at you guys.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
Hey, thanks guys, You're my favorites.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
You guys saved everything.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
Well, not the shadow area, but we saved this area.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
You saved all the things I care about yeah, I, uh,
thank you guys.
Speaker 3 (02:31):
I, I, I don't know how, how to repay you.
Uh, I shall name any.
Nudges his little egg forwardand you see it starting to hatch
.
He goes, I shall name him.
Hey, wait a minute, I don'tactually know your guys' name.
We kind of met under tryingtimes.
Oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
So are you going to just name it after me, or do I
got to pick the name?
Speaker 1 (02:53):
What is your name?
Well, tell us an answer on thatfirst, before I decide what my
name is in the moment.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
Okay, I was going to name my dragon, for my dragon
spawn after you.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
My name is Knifeblade the Dark.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
And mine's Shitty McDickstain.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Come on, buddy, I'll say Ekrem.
I was trying to give him a coolname I'd like in high school.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
Okay, ekrem, the Nightblade sounds pretty cool.
I'm a fey dragon.
I'm made of flowers andhappiness.
I spit life and I feel like younamed my child something.
This is, it's a misdirect.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
I kind of like uh, like my nickname in high school
was tiny yeah, and if he getsfamous, if they just google
ekram, there's a chance I showup.
So I kind of benefit from thistoo.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
So oh, you're worried about seo uh all right, he, he
also, uh, he breathes a littlebit of, uh, of that draconic
life energy, that magical power.
In front of you, um, ekram, youget a beautifully, beautifully
(04:05):
living staff of wood.
It curls up, it holds a crystalthat shimmers with multiple
colors, almost like a prism, forone that is always in the dark.
You could use a little light.
And you now have a staff ofpower for you.
(04:27):
The same vines, uh, they, theyreach for each other, they
bramble together, uh, and theymake a flying shield.
Oh, that's pretty fucking coolyeah so you can add those items
to your inventory and it's justcalled flying shield pretty
(04:50):
certain, yeah, I'm prettycertain.
I've looked at the items, uh,and he goes, but uh, I feel, uh,
your time is not done savingthe realm while the anchor is
protected.
I feel something terriblecoming and with that you see,
(05:15):
one of the portals that thecultists had been pouring out of
is still open and you see, asyou look through it, a burning
cityscape well, that's, that'swe're gonna have to handle that.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
Yeah, normally we get like a small break after we
either save or don't save thedragon, but this time seems like
we're right back in it yep, doyou uh?
Speaker 2 (05:38):
hey, I noticed you're doing some cool hot breath uh,
some some yoga uh my therapistsays breath work doesn't work.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
But but I'm like you know what, if it makes me feel
good who cares.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
I was going to say maybe you could just breathe on
some of my wounds.
I got some hurt.
You're not.
Hang on, I got it now.
You're life like entropy, notlike life as in, like healing
powers.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
I mean, I am life in its essence.
And he gives you.
You smell lilacs andgooseberries, which gooseberries
are just like giant grapes,right?
Well, I don't know yeah, I'venever had one, they just look
fun.
Fantasy gooseberries yeah, ohgood berries oh, uh, your wounds
(06:22):
, uh, your wounds almost likecovered with a moss and you
basically get the benefits of ashort rest nice.
Ekrem, you get some of yourspell slots back cool so I used
almost all of my spell slots.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
How many is some?
Speaker 2 (06:44):
you know what, but short.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
So it's literally just short rest.
You get a short rest, butyou'll get some.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
You'll, let's get you .
Uh, you can get all your first,second and third level spell
slots back.
Perfect, that's all of them.
And I think with the level upyou get, you have a fourth level
now too.
So, so do you have just one ortwo, just one at fourth level
(07:10):
right now?
Now, I'm sorry, you deservemuch more than this.
You are heroes, you are alwayswelcome here in the Fae realm,
but you still have jobs to do.
And with that, he kind of justgestures you with one wing
towards the portal, like come on, I can take a hint he's kind of
(07:33):
like doing that thing like ahost does at a party, when he's
like you
Speaker 2 (07:36):
guys are staying too long alright, well, it's good to
hang out with you.
You tell Martha we stop by andand Mighty Ekram the Nightblade.
All right, well, it's good tohang out with you.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
You tell Martha we stopped by, and Mighty Ekram the
Nightblade.
I'll tell him of your deed.
I'd say deeds, but we just met.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
He really does only know the one, it's true,
actually, and he probably heardof the other one, but that was a
failure.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Yeah, don't bring that one up.
Speaker 3 (08:01):
I think it's important that he knows that
your failures don't just defineyou, that you can succeed.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
That's actually a pretty good point too.
Speaker 3 (08:08):
I'm trying to teach resiliency.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
You're going to raise a good kid.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
We got to go hey you want to go punch a bunch of
cultists in the dick.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Yeah, I'm not going to punch, but I'll hit them in
the dick for sure.
Nice Hell yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:18):
Magic missile in the man meat.
That's a fun phrase.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Alliteration.
Speaker 3 (08:24):
That's the title of this episode.
All right, you guys burstthrough the portal.
It almost hits you.
That warm, good feeling thatyou've felt in the fey realms,
that brightness of colors, isall of a sudden uh replaced by
(08:46):
the smell of burning timber and,uh, soot and ash, uh you feel
the city um, just tense, likethere's something horrible is
happening.
As you uh make your way fromthis alley, you hear screams and
(09:06):
you hear, uh alarm bells asfire brigades rush around trying
to kind of quell the flames.
You also hear the sound offights and battles.
What would you guys like to do?
Speaker 2 (09:18):
um, does it seem like there's a particular area where
all the cult members are likecoming from?
Speaker 3 (09:24):
uh, there's, you guys are in this alleyway that
there's you're in the heartdistrict.
Um, so you are kind of movinginto this alleyway.
You can kind of see figuresrunning past you.
So if you can run into thatmain street you might have a
better view.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
Okay, cool I will do that that way and ask a similar
question is there a place thatthey all seem to be going to?
Speaker 3 (09:44):
uh, yeah, as you guys move in there, go ahead and
give me a perception check andis there anything like keeping
the alley open?
Or like that.
That portal, yeah, um no, notnecessarily, I think.
With the uh, with you steppingthrough it, the, the goose lord
uh uses his powers as, uh, thearchfey of the realm to just
close off access to his.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
That's what I was hoping for uh, my perception was
15, 15, fantastic eight.
Speaker 3 (10:09):
Okay, um, you got a little smoke in your eyes.
You're like, oh, this spicy Igot spice, I got spicy fog, um,
and uh, ekram, you look in.
You see there's definitely apush.
These, uh, cultists have almostgone a little bit mad with
their failure.
They seem to be striking outnot at the people in the streets
(10:33):
but at the infrastructure ofthe city.
Go ahead and make me I'm justgoing to say, make me an insight
.
Check on this, cool.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
Much worse Nine Not going to brag, but it's four
plus zero four, just say justmake me an insight, check on
this.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
Cool, uh, much worse.
Nine okay, not gonna brag, butit's four plus zero four all
right, you have no idea whythey're just punching walls.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
You're like oh, you've been mad at my dad too.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
You know, this is.
I think I got this.
This is like they all work fora construction company, so
they're gonna come by withquotes later.
Speaker 3 (11:00):
I was thinking you think it's a scam to drum up
business yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
Do you need an insight check to put together
that they just failed killing adragon and now they're mad?
No, that's exactly why youthink they're doing it.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
They're just mad boys , cool they just they're
throwing a cult wide tantrumokay, yeah, well, you guys, you
wanna make our way where they'regoing, where they're from.
What do you want?
Speaker 1 (11:29):
because this is just general.
I didn't notice, with myperception check, that they were
focusing on a location.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
Right, it's just ambient there, uh, there's
random violence occurring aroundyou, uh, again, aimed
specifically at buildings.
Not necessarily like if there'sa person fleeing, they're not
striking them down, uh, but ifsomebody is like trying to
defend their business, they'regetting messed up Um.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
do we have any of those cult robes?
I can't remember.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
I would assume they would still be in my inventory,
unless something happened tothem.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Hey you want to throw in those robes, and then we can
run over and be like, hey, weover.
And be like, hey, we just gotnew orders.
What are we doing over here?
We're told to help you guys out.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
It's a very good idea .
I will also use my Eldritch.
Oh man, I can't remember.
It was the feat I took thatgave me the warlock.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
The Eldritch invocation To at will disguise
yes.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
At will disguise self .
Give the robes Nice.
Speaker 3 (12:19):
Okay, so you approach a couple of these cultists that
are milling over.
What do you do?
What do you say?
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Hey, we got new instructions to come over and
help you guys out.
What are you guys doing?
Speaker 3 (12:33):
It's the time we're waking the sleeper.
If we can't destroy the anchors, we'll wake him the old way,
sorry, with blood and bone.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
Okay, I got a concussion earlier, so I got
some gaps.
We're going to do that just bybeating up.
We're going on a Nintendorampage.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Nintendo ramp.
Are you referencing the game?
Yeah, the game where you're amonster and you just destroy
buildings.
Yep, okay, cool, just makingsure we're on the same page here
.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Game where you're a monster andyou just destroy buildings.
Okay, cool, just making surewe're on the same page.
Yeah, it wasn't the smoothestone, but, um, he go ahead and
make a deception check to see ifhe actually buys your occultist
.
You don't have to, you can makeit with advantage because
you're dressed as them dirty 20okay, all right, he the cultist.
No, we're.
We're the distraction.
While they're fighting us, ourbrothers and sisters are
(13:35):
striking at the one being thatholds this all together.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
Oh, we were supposed to go to that one.
I'm sorry, where is thathappening?
I remember that we werechecking with you for the
location of that.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
Everyone knows where the.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
Echrem is looking at Chester.
Do you want to?
Speaker 3 (13:59):
stop by a medical tent first.
I feel like this concussion isa problem.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
Hey, if we can get all of existence erased, I won't
have to worry about CTE later.
So you're kind of slowing medown on this bud.
You want to help me out?
Help me, help you.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
Ekram's just standing there as the person that's good
with deception going.
Let's see how this goes.
Speaker 3 (14:19):
This is fascinating.
I mean it just, man.
I feel like if you got neworders, the new orders would
have included that you know.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Yeah, chaotic times call for chaotic measures,
brother, uh, I got my initialorders to come over here to
check in with you because theywere pinned on my shirt, so like
I'm doing a pretty good job, Ithink I.
Speaker 3 (14:42):
You know he takes a moment to think.
I feel like this Colt is notrecruiting the brightest, but
you know I can't take time fromburning this building down to
deal with that.
Go to the lore worm.
Slay the lore worm oh, right,yeah cool, all right.
Good, he goes to give you likea fist bump turkey him.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Yeah, I'll see you, bud all right as we walk away,
I'm gonna pat chester on theback and be like hey, buddy,
we'll work on it.
Like I know that you wereexcited, you wanted to get the
information, but maybe I talkedto him and then we work on this
when the world's saved fairenough, you know, I just I got
excited.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
I just, oh, come on, maybe I got this new boomerang
shield.
Should we go save our boss?
Yeah, yeah, oh sorry, it's justlike a foot from the guy no, uh
, yeah clearly we would havestarted doing this on the run
here, quick, some fully work hey, robert, just so you know he
was masturbating.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
That's the sound it makes, uh the old running tug
all right.
Um, how do you guys, uh, makeyour way towards the lure worm
you see in front of you?
Go ahead and give me just a D6roll there, ekram, or just Ekram
.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
Yeah, five.
Speaker 3 (16:05):
Five.
All right In front of you.
You see a group of cultistsapproaching some of the city
guard.
You see a dwarf that looks kindof like Pewter.
She's swinging her hammer backand forth, just not trying to
(16:30):
really hit them, but trying tokeep them wary of.
You see a group of civiliansbehind her.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
How many and how tightly grouped are they?
Just in case it's important.
Speaker 3 (16:42):
Yeah, uh, they're, you know, they're kind of like
spreading out and around tryingto flank her.
She's turning quick yeah, she'sturning around there.
She's got a kind of a smallshield wall of two or three, but
there's five cultists, uh, kindof uh, surrounding them.
You see, leading them is onethat um has given himself over
(17:04):
more towards the, themetamorphosis of the cult.
Um, you see a large, long,gangly arm hanging down from the
robes.
Looks like he's maybe got thearm of an ogre attached to him
on one side.
Uh, you see tentacles andtendrils, uh, sticking out of
the claw or his tattered robesand various angles.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
A hand holds a rusty sword on a scale of one to ten,
how fireballable are they?
Speaker 2 (17:32):
I mean everyone's fireballable, uh, the real
question is how fireballadjacent are the people we like
right and can they take afireball?
No, but I do.
All right, you take the big one, I'll take the five guys yeah,
I like this all right get theburger yeah yeah but I don't
(17:55):
know, the burgers aren't great,but boy, they give you a shit
ton of french fries.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
I think there's a lot of people that would be upset
at you for saying they don'thave big burgers.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
That's probably just my opinion, man.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
Yep, yep, all right.
Do you want big five guysagainst us?
Is that what?
Speaker 2 (18:08):
it is.
Are you trying to turn Old bigburger?
Speaker 3 (18:10):
coming down on Monster Pod.
Watch this Four tiny guys, onebig guy, five guy.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Yeah, I'll take the bigger deal.
Speaker 3 (18:17):
Okay, I'm going to go ahead and give me.
Do you want to try to sneak upon them?
How are you wanting to do this?
Do you want to charge in behind?
Speaker 2 (18:26):
them.
I'm just running as if we're apart of the group.
You know what I mean.
I'm going to use that toadvantage and just punch one of
them in the back of the head.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
I was going to ask if we needed to roll initiative.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
Yeah go First off.
I'm just going to have you guysroll a quick stealth to see if
you can approach unseen orunheard.
Speaker 3 (18:45):
For some reason.
I'm a real good stealth.
Oh shit, Ten.
Okay.
Upside they got a one on thatperception to spot you guys, so
they're very dialed in Eighteen.
Yeah, they're dialed in on thisgroup.
They have a goal.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Do we get a surprise round?
Speaker 3 (18:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
Okay, then Do we get a surprise round?
Yeah, then I'm going to justrun up and, like I said, I'm
just trying to punch one in theback of the base of the spine.
You know, just make the legsand the brain disconnect from
each other.
You know, just fun, just forgoofs.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
Just a little paralysis for goofs.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
Well, you're trying to kill the normal nice people
and my buddies and my friendPewter's in trouble.
Speaker 3 (19:16):
So oh, it looks like Pewter Fair.
Very important distinction introuble.
It looks like Pewter Fair.
What was your initiative?
Speaker 2 (19:24):
Oh, I wonder if something's going to be amiss
with Pewter when we get there,my initial what?
Speaker 3 (19:29):
What was your initiative?
Speaker 1 (19:34):
Average 13.
5.
Pretty low.
What's your dex?
That was with my dex 10 plus 3.
Speaker 3 (19:39):
Plus 3 is my dex modifier.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
What's your dex?
Speaker 1 (19:40):
That was with my dex.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
Okay, yeah, so 10 plus three what's your dex
modifier Plus?
Speaker 1 (19:42):
three is my dex modifier.
What was yours?
Speaker 3 (19:45):
Five.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
Five, okay, pretty bad.
Speaker 3 (19:47):
Yeah, no, and I've seen worse, but not today.
Pretty hard to get worse.
And then, okay, all right, youguys do get a surprise round, so
that's good.
They just don't get a turn,because 5e's I'm not mad, 5e's
(20:08):
stuff is dumb as far as howsurprise rounds work.
But whoa Jesus.
Okay, ekron, what would youlike to do first?
Speaker 1 (20:18):
I would like to use my bonus action to summon my
Hound of Bad Omen and basicallysummon it to target the big guy.
Speaker 3 (20:26):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
And then Do you have a cool catchphrase for him, Like
bite his butt.
I'm working on it.
I gotta think of a good way to.
Speaker 3 (20:33):
Bite his butt is a catchphrase.
Huh, Eat his ass, damn itthat's gonna go on a shirt.
Could Eat his ass, damn itthat's going to go on a shirt.
Could be worse Get our monster,monster merch at our Zazzle
shop.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
Hound of Ill Omen.
Okay, what's?
Speaker 3 (20:46):
this dog look like?
How would flavor this for me?
Speaker 1 (20:51):
You ever see the movie the Mask, I was going to
say I don't want to saystereotypical, but the normal
way that Cerberus is kind ofportrayed with like flames down
his back and stuff like thatflaming fur, except it's just a
one-headed dog okay, what breed?
Speaker 3 (21:05):
uh, oh that's a good question.
Is it german?
Shepherd german shepherds a lotinstead of one-headed cerberus
oh yeah, let me check the akclisting for cerberus.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
It's just one uh, do you want to have a hell of a
time?
Get our dog all right?
Uh, nope, random cat ranthrough that's because you
mentioned dogs all right sure umall right, so your servers
latches on.
That's your bonus action, uhit'll share an attack with me.
Um, and then, to conserve spellslots, I'll just fire bolt for
now.
Uh, the big boy, yes, okay, andthat is a 13 to hit okay, uh it
(21:41):
doesn't, it does not okay, andthen my dog goes in for the bite
.
Uh natural 20 on the dog okayuh, so because it's using the
dire wolf stats, uh, a strengthsaving throw of 13 to see if he
gets pinned.
Speaker 3 (21:59):
Okay, he doesn't.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
Okay, you pinned him Four six, nine Okay, we got 14
piercing damage, okay, and he isprone on the ground.
Oh, plus three, so sorry aboutthat, okay, 17.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
That's a good bite from the dog.
Yeah, and that ends my turn.
All right, chester, what wouldyou like to do?
17.
That's a good bite from the dog, and that ends my turn.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
Chester, what would you like to do?
I'd like to run up and then usemy action to just take two
swings at either one cultist ortwo cultists, if one is soft and
falls down.
So that is going to be firstattack 10.
(22:44):
Alright, that first swingmisses one of the cultists, I'll
take another swing at him.
Okay, uh, 15 that'll hit, allright sweet, that's gonna be a
12 damage okay, you crumble thisguy, uh, roll your wild magic,
oh, yeah, and then, as a bonusaction, I'd like to use
misdirection okay uh I got anatural 20 on that.
(23:06):
Uh, um wild magic okay, allright, fantastic.
Speaker 3 (23:15):
Let's see what happens with a 20.
Oh, come on, do you love whenyou open up a chart and it's
like, hey, we have a zoom, butit actually doesn't do anything
like why do we even have a chart, guys?
Uh, a 20, all right, go aheadand give me a dexterity saving
(23:40):
throw.
Oh so you take a big old pop atthis guy and, uh, grease erupts
around you seven as thathappens.
You fall prone.
Uh, you just fall down on your.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
You're like oh, I'm a slippery boy.
Uh, as a bonus action, I stillwant to try to do that.
Misdirect, yeah, on the big bad.
So he has to make a dc.
Uh, 15 intelligence okay yeah,definitely we'll.
Speaker 3 (24:05):
We'll say you, uh, you slip, slip a little bit
after this happens or I can makeit.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
You know what I mean.
Like it depends how it workswhat's the save?
Speaker 3 (24:13):
yes, to what number has intelligence?
15, 15?
Speaker 2 (24:16):
okay, he doesn't all right, sweet, look.
Can we say like I hit that guyand then like I slip and fall
and like kind of shuffleseveryone around, so like he's
doing, like Flavor it how youwant.
Yeah, so like I hit the one guyand I crumple him, but then I
explode in grease and then fallon the ground, I just you're
super lubed up.
Speaker 3 (24:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
Yeah, I think having that causes everyone to kind of
shuffle like three card Monty,so he's not sure who's who.
Okay, now he must use his uhact, one of his uh.
Speaker 3 (24:43):
His reaction like to so he takes a reaction to hit
something.
Yep, okay, uh, is it just aspell or a melee attack?
Speaker 2 (24:51):
Uh, I believe well, it says causes them to attack.
Speaker 3 (24:56):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
All right, okay, all right, yeah, that'll definitely
hit.
Uh okay, so that'll hit one ofthese cultists and it's their
reaction.
Speaker 3 (25:07):
So it'd be like, yeah , so he can't take a reaction
during his until his next turnokay, cool as hell.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
That's so cool and strong and good all right.
Speaker 3 (25:14):
Uh, he just as you.
I can just see this is like youkind of falling.
You grab him and you spin himaround and his sword just lops
off another cultist's head.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
There's no blood on me, it's fine.
Speaker 3 (25:31):
Well, the upside, you're so greased up, the blood
will just roll off like wateroff a duck's back.
All right, that's going to makeit all right back into the top
of the round.
So this zealot looks at youback.
Nice, all right, uh, that'sgonna make it all right back
into the top of the round.
So this, uh, this zealot looksat you.
Um, zealot, oh, it's pinned.
I didn't even think of thatlike so, it didn't lop off a
head when this happened, becauseit's pinned by the it just like
(25:53):
cut a guy off at the knees.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
Uh, yeah, even worse, somehow because when you die,
you're dead fast.
His legs came off and then hefell on his stumps.
Speaker 3 (26:03):
So he?
The first thing he does is hejust using that big ogre arm to
like, push your hound of omen upoff of him and you see him just
wink out of existence andalmost like he falls through
shadow and appears behind.
(26:26):
Chester so he teleports behindChester.
Everyone make strength savingthrows everybody.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
Yeah, how does that work, with me being prone?
Speaker 3 (26:41):
you still make it normally okay, 21 3 okay, you're
fine, you're still prone.
You feel yourself yankedtowards the spot where he
existed.
Make it also for your ill, yourhound, okay does it?
Speaker 2 (26:58):
uh, just pull the grease off me.
Is that what it is?
It just can't get a hold of me.
Speaker 3 (27:02):
It's slippery these tendrils are trying to reach up
from the shadows.
They're like yo yo, no gross.
Speaker 2 (27:06):
Yo, this is it's crisco.
I was cooking a lot of baconthis week, sorry uh 10 for the
dog okay, uh, it's pull two.
Speaker 3 (27:13):
So you guys are gonna take 4d8 worth of force damage
as you're pulled towards thisthing upside on your end.
Is it wiped out?
The other cultists when he didthis?
Cool, so they're dead.
But 4d, where's my d8s?
Alright, 13 21, no 15 23 you'regonna take 23 points of force
(27:44):
damage um warlocks are known fortheir hardy constitution.
Speaker 2 (27:49):
Right, I'm not a warlock, I'm a sorcerer, even
better it's episode 16.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
I understand why you're just learning this now.
Uh, it's all spells to me,buddy.
That was one point higher thanhalf my health, why you're just
learning this now.
It's all spells to me, buddy.
That was one point higher thanhalf my health, so yeah, okay,
good to know.
Speaker 3 (28:09):
Then behind you, chester, go ahead, and I don't
like the tone in his voice rightnow.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
I'm about to make my first move ever with this power
staff to just break it over myknee 13?
Speaker 2 (28:25):
Yeah, I do not believe it does Okay.
Speaker 3 (28:27):
So you feel a tugging in your mind as it searches for
your thoughts.
Open your mind to me.
Speaker 2 (28:35):
No, okay, I respect boundaries.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
Thank you very much.
You should have been like whatare you into Another?
Speaker 3 (28:44):
13.
And a crit.
So, then he takes as he does,that he catches you kind of off
guard and smacks you real goodwith his sword.
You are going to take D6.
So five, nine, nine, eighteenpiercing damage and then nine
(29:08):
points of psychic damage.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
All right, is that all you got?
I mean, it felt like it waspretty good.
It was pretty good, I'm notgoing to lie, pretty good Game,
respect, game, my dude.
Speaker 3 (29:24):
You're hearing this just in your head.
He's like thanks, you seem likea decent fellow.
I hate to have to kill you.
Speaker 2 (29:30):
Oh, you seem like a piece of shit.
I can't wait to kill you.
Speaker 1 (29:33):
I know that's not how the quote goes, but All right
all right, uh, that'll bring usto ekram your turn, okay, um,
let's utilize this new uh staffof power.
I will expend three charges ofit right, no, five charges of it
to cast lightning bolt on himokay, uh, let's get his deck
(29:55):
saving throw.
Speaker 3 (29:56):
What's the number he's got to beat?
14.
Yes, all right, he uh fails.
Go ahead and lightning bolt him.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
Oh, I just realized that.
Uh, okay, I just read it ascasting lightning bolt, but you
get to cast it at third level,so so that's the level it's.
Oh, it is a third level spell.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
Okay, cool, run on 86 , and that's why you get a cast
at third.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
It'd be weird if they were like do this on the app,
Heck with you.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
Just do it at second level, figure that out, do a
couple minuses.
We're not going to tell youwhat the thing is.
Speaker 1 (30:29):
All right.
8d6 came out to 30 lightningdamage.
Speaker 3 (30:33):
All right, you smell the smell of like cooked seafood
, like calamari, uh, and alsoburnt ogre flesh as a lightning
crackles over him, Uh.
You hear in your mindhistorically, a tick moved to
hit a guy when he doesn't expectit.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
I'm here to shit.
I'm not here to fight fairfights, I'm here to win.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
You hit me when I was on the ground.
I know I'm evil.
Speaker 3 (31:00):
Well, it's kind of my thing.
You seem like you guys are verynot understanding roles here.
Speaker 1 (31:05):
I mean the world's complex, more of an anti-hero
kind of thing.
Shades of Grey.
Also the move that we had tosave against that did 23 damage,
that did kill the Hound ofIll-Owned, so that he's not in
anymore.
I'm sorry about your dog.
You feel like you're having aJohn Wick moment.
I'll summon him later.
He just kind of goes away and Ican bring him back.
Oh, so not a.
Speaker 3 (31:26):
John Wick moment.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
More of a like a I just want to kill you, you might
be the bad guy.
Speaker 2 (31:31):
It's like a Tamagotchi.
You were supposed to feel badwhen those died too.
Speaker 1 (31:37):
I need a something that has a reset button feels
more like a.
Speaker 3 (31:43):
I killed my cultist too, so we all have gotten rid
of something we love today.
That's permanent not when wereset reality in our own image
he's got a point are we all theTamagotchi of this world?
Speaker 2 (31:57):
I think so.
Speaker 3 (31:58):
Roll existential crisis what would that be?
The Tamagotchi of this world?
I think so Roll ExistentialCrisis.
What would that be?
What would my modifier be?
D20 Wisdom Wisdom saving throw.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
So that's good, because it's going to be a three
, three, all right, was that allyour turn?
Speaker 3 (32:13):
Yes, that was my turn , so it goes to your turn.
The reason why I have you rollthat with a three this guy, the
reason why I have you roll thatwith a three this guy, you are
now questioning existencecompletely.
Oh, chester.
Your wisdom saving throw failed.
You're going to take 2d6psychic damage.
Speaker 1 (32:28):
What Was that?
Me too, or just Chester?
Speaker 3 (32:30):
No, you're just close , you're out of his range.
So you take eight points ofpsychic damage.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
All right.
Well, I hope there's like apoke arrest area, like a nurse
joy, because I'm getting realfucking dipped up here bud.
Speaker 3 (32:44):
All right, what would ?
Speaker 2 (32:47):
you like to do, chester, hit the wrong button.
There we go.
I'm going to well, I'm going toget up.
So I'll probably use my half mymovement to get up.
Okay, yeah, I'm going to do acool like in the movie Upgrade,
where I just kind of like throwmy elbows back and just to my
feet, okay, nice.
And then I'm going to punch himreally good.
So I'm going to run over justlike one to him.
Speaker 3 (33:08):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
With my good punches.
And that is a 21 on the firstattack, Definitely a hit, a ooh
even better, 24 on the second.
Speaker 3 (33:23):
Okay, definitely a hit.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
Okay, and that's 9 Plus, so 19 total damage.
Speaker 3 (33:30):
Okay, fantastic, is he still up?
Yeah, he is, but he's lookingpretty jacked up.
Action surge.
Speaker 2 (33:36):
I get that back on a short rest, right.
I'll have to mark that in asecond For speed.
Looking pretty jacked up.
Action surge Okay, I get thatback on a short rest, right.
Yep, I'll have to mark that ina second for speed.
Second attack or third attack19.
Okay, that'll hit and a 18.
Speaker 3 (33:51):
Okay, that'll hit too yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
Hit those buttons real fast, 11 plus 12.
This guy's on Hit those buttonsreal fast, 11 plus 12.
Speaker 3 (34:00):
Alright, this guy's on death's door.
Go ahead and also roll your d20to see if you surge.
Speaker 2 (34:09):
Surge Is that every attack, or just when I attack,
every attack no 8.
Speaker 3 (34:16):
Nope 8.
Nope, 8?
That's crazy.
And six, okay.
I was like, are you justrolling d8s?
Are you just looking at thedice options?
I like that one, all right.
Uh, so you don't surge on anyof those.
Um, fantastic dude, uh, goahead.
(34:36):
And uh, let's see, that makesit this, this dwarf.
Uh, she runs up and uh, she'sjust gonna slap her uh hand on
you and be like you got this bud.
Speaker 1 (34:52):
Uh thank you thank you pewter?
Speaker 3 (34:56):
I feel like you should have hit him you know,
you know, pewter, you seen mesister nope we hung out one time
.
Speaker 2 (35:08):
We're not that close.
Speaker 3 (35:09):
Haven't seen her in a while you're gonna heal for 12
plus 4, so 16 points as she layson hands.
Speaker 2 (35:20):
Oh, thank you so much for that.
Speaker 3 (35:22):
All right, that brings us back up to the top,
this cultist.
Let's see if he gets hisrecharge back.
He does not.
All right.
All right, ekrem.
Speaker 1 (35:37):
Yes, does a 23 hit.
Nope, don't worry about it.
I don't even think castingshield would help me in this
situation.
Speaker 3 (35:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (35:46):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (35:47):
All right, 23 hits.
Go ahead and make a wisdomsaving throw for me, oh good.
Speaker 1 (35:55):
Yeah, if you could go ahead and that one baby.
Speaker 2 (35:57):
Oh, no you should do me a favor.
Kill him on this turn, becausehe hurts me a lot.
Speaker 3 (36:04):
I'm trying.
Speaker 2 (36:04):
I've done 30.
Speaker 3 (36:05):
21 points of psychic damage.
I'm down, all right.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
That's not what I asked you to do.
Speaker 1 (36:11):
You're also stunned, but that was the exact amount of
damage you needed to do to downme.
Speaker 3 (36:15):
That was the exact amount of damage he needed to do
to down me.
Oh wow, Do you have thatability?
I?
Speaker 1 (36:19):
do because it wasn't necrotic damage.
Yeah, so I get to do Cool, I'mfine.
Speaker 3 (36:26):
Are you back up?
Yes, I'm back up, okay.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
Just don't hit me again.
Speaker 3 (36:33):
He sees you go down, he's like oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:36):
Let's knock this shit off.
Speaker 3 (36:38):
I feel like I kind of want to hit him again, now that
he said don't hit me again.
He said it out loud no, uh, allright, yeah, I just I imagine
that it looks like you, uh,almost like your shadowy clone,
kind of like pulls you back up Iwas thinking like my knees
buckled but I recovered before Ihit the ground.
So kind of like when you're alittle too drunk but you're like
, yeah, I still gotta get thisbudweiser from this bar yeah
(36:59):
yeah, pull it together.
Ekram, that knee goes out.
Yeah, you're drunk behind this.
Uh, this thing, this, thiscultist.
You see your shadowy self, justkind of like eyeing you and be
like give in can you fuck offfor like an hour?
Speaker 1 (37:18):
Can I get some fucking peace?
I'm part of you, I don't give ashit.
Speaker 3 (37:24):
It's like it'd be, like you were like hey, can I
get my ear to go away?
You can't.
Speaker 1 (37:29):
You can.
Van Gogh did it right.
You do want to cut off your earFucking if it gets you out of
my head for an hour.
Speaker 3 (37:36):
Maybe, Try.
Speaker 2 (37:45):
You want to cut off your ear fucking.
Speaker 1 (37:46):
If it gets you out of my head for an hour, maybe try
it.
That feels like it would be onepoint of damage.
Just drop yourself.
Well, at least you shut up.
Speaker 3 (37:49):
But okay, everything's fine, everything is
fine, uh, and then he's gonnatake two stabs with his sword at
chester 2 26.
Speaker 2 (37:58):
No, yes.
Speaker 3 (38:00):
Alright, bud.
I feel like this guy is tougherthan all the cultist dragons
that you fought.
Speaker 2 (38:06):
Yeah, he's been a real rough boy.
He has just base brain wavedamage.
Okay, you're gonna take 9piercing damage from his sword
and then gosh bud 11 psychicdamage all right, let's just say
it was a good thing that uh notpewter came over and high-fived
(38:28):
my back don't call her neuter.
Speaker 3 (38:30):
Uh, I just did I didn't all right chester, that's
your turn.
I'm sorry, ekram, that's yourturn, okay um, I sorry, ekrem,
that's your turn.
Speaker 1 (38:39):
Okay, I'm just going to keep leaning on this Staff of
Power right now because I wantto save my spell slots for some
cool shit that I got.
I'm going to man.
I don't want to be a one-trickpony, but Lightning Bolt seems
like a pretty good option again.
Yeah, I'm just going toLightning Bolt again.
I was going to hold holdmonster.
Speaker 3 (39:04):
But if he's doing psychic stuff then he doesn't
need to move to do that.
Speaker 1 (39:06):
Um so yep, lightning that dexterity saving throw
please, okay.
23, okay, well, he still takeshalf damage, which is enough.
26, so I'll take 13.
Speaker 3 (39:15):
Uh you, thank god you obliterate this thing.
The lightning bolt slams intohim, lifts him off his feet and
it just vaporizes this cultist.
Speaker 2 (39:23):
Good, no loot on his body to investigate.
Speaker 1 (39:27):
I was going to take that girthy arm of his.
Speaker 3 (39:30):
Just the arm is there , as all that's left.
It like ripped off the stitches.
He's like that was fresh.
He just vaporizes.
Uh.
All that's left is uh, there'sa medallion, uh, left from the
smoldering ruins of the.
Speaker 2 (39:46):
Well, we can't touch it right now.
It's probably very hot to thetouch probably yeah, so we're
gonna give it a few minutes oh,I'll mage hand it oh, boom yeah
your mage hands just like no, no.
Speaker 3 (39:56):
And then picks it up A little hot mage hand, Like
when you have a potato.
Oh no.
Speaker 2 (40:02):
You know we could have just waited while we talked
to um not what was your name?
I'm sorry, I didn't catch yourname in the middle of all this
hubba blue oh, uh.
I'm, I'm lead what a what aelegant name like the poisoning
yeah, well, I mean, I do dopoison damage with this hammer.
Speaker 3 (40:23):
Oh poison your life out of you.
Speaker 2 (40:26):
I was gonna say poison on a hammer is insane.
That's a pretty crazy like.
In case the bludgeoning don'tget you, give it 45 minutes yeah
, it'll seep through the skin.
Speaker 3 (40:35):
What do you?
What do you know of me, sister?
Speaker 2 (40:38):
I believe last time we saw her she went into the
shadow realm and that was it.
She ran off.
Speaker 1 (40:43):
Yeah, she played Yu-Gi-Oh too hard she.
Speaker 3 (40:47):
We always knew the trap card would get her one day.
We always said Pewter, don't beplaying the.
Speaker 1 (40:53):
Yu-Gi-Oh.
We were hoping she made it out,Just for context, just to make
sure I'm remembering or anybodythat's tuning in is remembering.
We are fairly certain she'sdead Right.
Speaker 3 (41:03):
When the realm collapsed, she collapsed with it
.
Speaker 2 (41:08):
Chester's a hopeful guy.
We didn't see her die Like.
You know how TV shows havepeople die off screen and then
they're like haha, just kidding.
Speaker 3 (41:15):
You think this is an x-men character situation?
Speaker 2 (41:16):
it could be that's up to you, isn't it?
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (41:20):
uh, I, we, we fear the worst, but, uh, you know I,
she probably died doing what she.
Speaker 1 (41:27):
She did, I will be honest, saving people I will say
that we didn't literally seeher die, but chances are she was
consumed when we were trying todefend the dragon.
I'll be very sincere about it.
Speaker 3 (41:39):
I will say I appreciate that If you're
friends of Pewter, you'refriends of mine, and she reaches
into her pouch and she givesyou each a potion of greater
healing.
Speaker 1 (41:50):
Oh, my god, yeah, thank you.
Well, um, I was going to make ajoke saying that we were
friends with your sister, butI'm not now.
Speaker 2 (41:58):
I like you're like, I'm going to be sincere and then
just be a real dipshit.
Speaker 3 (42:03):
Also be careful that those potions are lined with
lead.
You might get a little bit oflead poisoning.
Speaker 1 (42:07):
I just kidding, it's fucking fine, that's Tyler
seeping into Ekrem.
Speaker 2 (42:10):
Yeah, uh, I uh, I'm going to go ahead and because
we're on our way to like thelore worms area cheers buddy and
drink the potion what's the?
Speaker 3 (42:22):
greater healing do let's see what does the greater
healing potion do?
Speaker 1 (42:29):
I feel like it's more than that 44 increase the
amount of d4s 44 plus 4 hitpoints when you drink this
potion you said plus 4 hitpoints when you drink this
potion, you said plus 4?
Speaker 2 (42:41):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (42:42):
Nice 10.
Speaker 2 (42:44):
Also 10.
Okay.
Speaker 3 (42:47):
Better than 0.
Yeah, if you follow me I'lltake you the back way to the
lore worms where they seem to becongregating.
Uh, the defenses are holdingthe city, most of the watches
there but uh, you, you see,she's like, but somebody has got
to look out for the wee folkand she points to the group of
uh County commoners that she wasshielding with her, her fellow
(43:11):
um watchmen.
She's like they can take themfrom here.
But you boys look like you needa little backup.
Speaker 2 (43:19):
Yeah, I'm not going to say no.
Speaker 3 (43:24):
to someone with character levels oh no.
Commoner stats oh no you'regood, then you need to stay here
.
Speaker 2 (43:28):
Do not.
I don't need to see you die aswell.
Speaker 3 (43:31):
I'm just the last in my family.
Yeah, nope, you stay here.
They always, they always toldme hey, led, uh, the name rides
with you.
Yeah, I look at all thecommenters.
Speaker 2 (43:40):
They're like hey, you find any of them handsome
because you guys could.
You guys could hang out and geta, get a family going and not
immediately die at the firstkind of anything.
Speaker 3 (43:49):
I got a brother.
His name is ryan.
Uh, you can.
You can save him.
He's a private in the army.
You can save private ryan ifyou need to.
Speaker 1 (43:55):
Wow, that's kind of crazy.
That seemed way out of.
Speaker 2 (43:57):
You pulled that out of Did your back hurt, Kevin.
That was a stretch.
Speaker 3 (44:03):
Well, I've been carrying this campaign this
whole goddamn time.
Speaker 2 (44:08):
Is she a commoner or is?
Speaker 3 (44:09):
she a she's a city guardsman.
Speaker 2 (44:12):
All right.
Well, let's head down.
I look at the commoners and I'mlike that feels so bad to say.
I look at the people.
I turn to the people huddle.
I'm like it's all right,everybody, it's going to be okay
and I kind of hope peoplerecognize me just a little bit
so they can be like.
So I'm kind of like hamming itup a little bit.
Speaker 3 (44:35):
It's not a great speech because Chester's kind of
dumb, give it up a little bit.
It's not a great speech becauseChester's kind of dumb Give me
a persuasion check.
I don't say they had anadvantage, they just watched you
cover yourself in grease andrun at cultists Squee.
The guy with the lightning boltstaff seems like he might have
been a little bit more essential.
Speaker 2 (44:52):
I got a 19.
Okay, but I'm like it's goingto be alright, we're here to
help's gonna be okay.
Speaker 3 (44:57):
Just watch out for each other and be kind uh, yeah,
you see the look of like someof them like that's, it's him,
it's, it's the number one killer, the number one killer's.
Here we might have a chance.
Speaker 1 (45:10):
Yeah, the number one killer's here I'll press the
digitation a little bit of likefireworks off your shoulder.
Be like everything's okay, it'sgoing to
Speaker 3 (45:18):
be just like shadowy kind of creepy fireworks.
No, no, all right, yes they.
I mean, you've kind of ralliedthis group of people.
They're feeling at least alittle bit more hope in this
situation.
Go ahead, and both of you giveme a perception.
Speaker 2 (45:33):
Check 17, 17 17 14.
Speaker 3 (45:40):
You see down the street um darting into an
alleyway.
You see a small girl.
She turns and looks at you andthen skips down the alleyway
well, that seemed like weirdlyspecific to point out.
Speaker 2 (46:00):
It's either a really creepy girl, because that's a
weird thing to do in such atrying time, or the one that has
visited me in my dreams.
All right, it's a bigdifference.
Is it the one that visited mein my dreams?
Speaker 3 (46:14):
Go ahead and give me an intelligence check.
Speaker 1 (46:16):
Oh no, Go ahead and fail this one, tyson's what I
just heard true weakness, and Inotice it.
Or just you notice what?
Speaker 3 (46:25):
did you roll in perception 14, 14?
Yeah, you notice it too.
Okay, and you can roll a arcanato see if you would be able to
piece this together, I got an 18okay, fantastic, yeah.
You recall your dream vividly,like this is the child that you
saw in your dreams.
Speaker 2 (46:38):
Yeah, no, she's visited in my dreams.
I think it's a pretty good omen.
Okay, so you think we?
Speaker 1 (46:45):
should follow.
Speaker 2 (46:46):
Is that?
What kind of yeah yeah, it'snot a bad omen.
Speaker 1 (46:49):
My arcana didn't tell me anything, so I will follow
your lead.
Speaker 3 (46:52):
Yeah, you dart down, I skip down, you skip down you
follow.
Mm-hmm, it's fucking playful asshit.
Give me a performance, check,homie.
Speaker 1 (46:59):
Hell yeah, I was going to say let's tone it down.
Speaker 3 (47:01):
I'm just going to walk around, I'm just laying
like You're just watching thisgiant, burly, bare-knuckled
boxer that's covered in greaseand blood.
Speaker 1 (47:09):
Scraping a little girl down an alley, that's so
don't whistle.
Speaker 2 (47:16):
It makes it sound like it's not threatening, but
it's wrong.
I got a 14 14.
Speaker 3 (47:21):
Okay, you do a pre uh , as you guys uh, make this.
You see the, the brick, uh, thelight of the fires in the city
and the street lamps that arestill working, um, kind of
diminishes uh, and you seealmost like a technicolor hue
take to everything.
You see the girl standing inthis kind of empty space as she,
(47:49):
where she stands, there's aradiating pool of shimmering
light.
She turns.
I see you're here for moregames.
Always, I don't like the onesthey're playing right now.
Speaker 2 (48:11):
Chester kind of walks over and gets on one knee and
puts a hand on her shoulder.
He's like it's gonna be okay.
Speaker 3 (48:18):
She just gives you a hug.
Speaker 2 (48:21):
I give her a hug and go.
This world might always seemkind, but it's always.
You got to look for the good,you got to find the good.
Speaker 3 (48:30):
She just like, she nuzzles into you, like just a
person just needing thatreassurance.
That's why I like you, you, youalways see the good, even in
the bad situations.
Um, in the dark, around thislight radiance, you see six
glowing eyes open.
They are glowing red, notmaliciously or hatefully.
Speaker 2 (49:06):
I was like oh no.
Speaker 3 (49:09):
Go ahead and give me you almost feel this feeling of
like acceptance andunderstanding.
Go ahead and give me just astraight up I'm going to say
just a straight up charismacheck.
Speaker 2 (49:27):
Four, four Perfect time for the dramatic moment.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (49:31):
No, this is great.
You feel your senses just kindof like this thing wants inside
your mind and as this happens,like you try to kind of throw up
a wall, this mental like block,but everything that's happening
.
You're just worn down.
And this wave of relief, fear,anxiety, but at the same time
(49:56):
hope, and you realize whateverthis thing is that you're seeing
, believes in you, fullytrusting in you, you gain the
fey-touched feet.
Speaker 2 (50:15):
Oh shit.
Speaker 3 (50:17):
As if this, this thing, she goes.
I'm worried when this is allover, you won't come back and
play games with me if I'm stillhere, I'll come play games all
right, ekram.
What are you doing when you seeall this?
Speaker 1 (50:34):
what the fuck is happening.
Chester's got a kid.
Speaker 3 (50:39):
And he had it with his wife.
Speaker 1 (50:40):
I can't have.
I don't have a wife.
I feel like this would havecome up sooner.
Speaker 3 (50:46):
Do you know my mummy?
No, Ekrem, in your ear you heara voice.
I swear to God, it doesn't looklike he needs you anymore.
It looks like he's grown pastyou.
Don't worry, buddy.
I'm still here for you, ekrem,and that's where we're going to
(51:09):
end this session.
Speaker 2 (51:11):
Okay, yeah, get fucked nerd.
Speaker 1 (51:14):
That's fine, that's fine, good for you.
I'll figure it out All right,hey guys.
Thanks's fine, that's fine,good for you.
Speaker 3 (51:19):
I'll figure it out All right.
Hey guys, Thanks for the end ofthis session.
Tyson, where can we find you?
Where can we see you?
Speaker 2 (51:26):
Oh, I'm at Tyson Cox Comedy.
I travel all over, so check outmy website at.
Tysoncoxcomedycom and follow meon Instagram at TysonCoxComedy.
Speaker 3 (51:38):
My name is Tyler Waltz and you can find
everything I do at nerd news andI'm cavin eggleston.
I uh dm some of the live shows.
We have live shows coming up.
Uh, tyson will be back to tellyou where those ones are
upcoming.
And, uh, as always, thispodcast is edited by robert
schmabbert, so give robertschmabbert a follow on instagram
.
Yeah, he's really great and hekept in the stuff that made
tyler and tyson look bad, butthe stuff that made me look good
there too, but he cut out thestuff where I got weird thanks,
(52:02):
robert yeah, robert puts in alot of work.
Yeah, you don't want to sayunsung heroes, but we're singing
right now for this boy.
All right, thank you guys.
If you like what we're doing,give us a review on any of the
services.
If you don't like what we do,just just say five stars.
That's how we know you hate usif you put five stars.
Bye.
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Amy Robach & T.J. Holmes present: Aubrey O’Day, Covering the Diddy Trial
Introducing… Aubrey O’Day Diddy’s former protege, television personality, platinum selling music artist, Danity Kane alum Aubrey O’Day joins veteran journalists Amy Robach and TJ Holmes to provide a unique perspective on the trial that has captivated the attention of the nation. Join them throughout the trial as they discuss, debate, and dissect every detail, every aspect of the proceedings. Aubrey will offer her opinions and expertise, as only she is qualified to do given her first-hand knowledge. From her days on Making the Band, as she emerged as the breakout star, the truth of the situation would be the opposite of the glitz and glamour. Listen throughout every minute of the trial, for this exclusive coverage. Amy Robach and TJ Holmes present Aubrey O’Day, Covering the Diddy Trial, an iHeartRadio podcast.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.