December 5, 2024 • 45 mins
Ever wondered what the afterlife might be like if it were designed by a candy-loving game master? Our hero, Chester, finds himself navigating an enchanting realm filled with root beer pools and candy trees reminiscent of the magical Feywild. Alongside a mysterious woman in black leather and a spirited young girl, Chester’s resilience shines through despite facing repeated failures. Revisit Chester's past misadventures, laugh at his unexpected bravery, and witness how he earns respect in the most whimsical of circumstances. This episode brings a mix of humor and introspection, setting a stage where fantasy and reality blur.
When resisting the allure of power becomes a matter of life and death, Chester’s journey through the astral plane takes a gripping turn. With guidance from a mystical figure named Pewter, our narrative explores mortality, choice, and perseverance. The emotional stakes heighten as Chester's lifeless body is found, weaving humor and tension into a tale of healing abilities and psychic energy. This fantastical odyssey climaxes with Chester's vivid resurrection, thanks to his companion Ekrem. Their humorous and heartfelt reunion propels them into a thrilling showdown with their adversary, Kaga.
The battle against Kaga unfolds in a smoke-filled chamber, where Chester and Ekrem must strategize and improvise to take down their formidable foe. The thrill of high-stakes fantasy role-playing takes center stage as they engage in magical combat, culminating in a critical victory with a time dragon's fate hanging in the balance. To cap off this enchanting adventure, comedians Tyson Cox, Tyler Waltz, and Kevin Eggleston join us to share laughs and insights from their comedic journeys, offering a playful conclusion to our whimsical adventure.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Chester blackness fades from your eyes.
Instead, you're in this spaceof almost blinding radiance.
You are floating on a pool ofGo and give me a perception.
(00:22):
Check.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
Six.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
You feel like you're in a pool of root beer.
Speaker 3 (00:33):
All right.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Around you.
As the light kind of grow, youreyes grow accustomed to light.
You see bright colors.
A unicorn flies through the skyas you sit up.
You realize, uh, you should besinking in this root beer pool
(00:57):
I'm dead, so nah and it's notregular beer, so you're in hell.
Asmodeus raises up and is likehey, gotcha Chester.
No, you look around, the landitself almost seems to be If the
Feywild was this land ofunrestrained emotion, these
(01:22):
almost vibrant positive energythat you remember.
This almost seems like a dreamof that.
You see trees made of candies.
You see little sprite-likecreatures flitting about At the
(01:44):
edge of the little lake you findyourself floating on.
You see a woman clad in blackleather armor holding hands with
a young girl.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
Hey, killer number one.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
I'm gonna give her a big wave.
You can tell from this distanceshe is just dismissively
looking at you, but you see thelittle child next to her just
giving you that awkward littlekid wave.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
I stand up, I guess, on the stuff that I'm floating.
I guess probably kind ofsloppily, jauntily, clumsily
make my way over.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
Let's go ahead and give me an athletics.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
Check to see if you can do this gracefully.
Gracefully, that's my plus.
Yeah, ooh 27.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
All right, you walk on water as if you were always
supposed to.
You're like, finally, therespect.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
I deserve Turns out, it was the solid ground that was
my issue this entire time.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
Uh, you stride towards these, uh, two figures.
The little girl looks up at thekiller and she says well, I
told you he'd be fine, I toldyou as he would I'm sorry I died
little girl.
I apologize about the killerlooks at you and she goes it's
not that you died, Chester,Everyone dies.
(03:10):
That's the one thing we don'tget back up from, but it's that
you tried every time.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
Well, I mean, and it just is like such a foreign
concept to him to not yeah.
The little girl reaches herhand towards you.
Do you take it?
Oh sorry, yeah, yes, I take thehand.
You're like yeah, fuck you kid,you're not getting me this way
(03:40):
no fay wild.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Chris hansen steps out and is like huh please have
a sit on this toadstool.
She does that and she kind ofpositions herself in between you
and the killer, like almostlike it's.
You know, like when you were alittle kid, where your parents,
like you, were in between yourparents and they kind of swung
you around a little bit myparents yeeted me and she kind
(04:05):
of just starts skipping,dragging you guys along behind
her.
And as you walk through thisland, you look down and you
realize the grass is likelicorice vines.
This is hell, just sticky sweetyou.
Automatically you're like Ican't feel my toes.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
Diabetes through osmosis?
Yeah, it's crazy.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
That's how it happens , she.
I told you you'd be here andyou've never.
You didn't win, but you didn't.
You didn't ever fail, chester.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
Well, you know, I never thought of it like that.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
She stops Chester trips over.
Give me an athletics check, no,no.
See if you accidentally drop.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
kick this creepy child Creepy child, don't fail
your afterlife debt savingtrance 18.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
18?
Yeah, you kind of do thatlittle hop around her.
I didn't.
I picked you because you alwaystry, chester, you always you
make me laugh every time becauseyou're just so silly when you
fail.
But it just looks, you just doit so funny and you'd never let
(05:26):
it get you down we just do asmash cut of all the times I'm
like laying yeah, there's amontage there's like knives in
me and like I'm spitting brokenteeth you just see ekram like
pulling a beer bottle out of you.
That you're like nobody stabbedyou with it.
You just fell on it I don'tlike that.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
yeah, be broken and be stabbed me, me in the back,
come on.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
There's one day you cut yourself, shaving your head
and it's just a gushing headwound and I slip and hit my head
with it.
Killer's like huh, Huh, youreally got my title, huh.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
Yeah, okay.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
She just looks at you and she goes.
You know, chester, I hated youfor a really long time Floating
around watching you with mytitle, my reputation, everyone
(06:23):
thinking I lost to someone likeyou.
My reputation everyone thinkingI lost to someone like you.
But she goes somewhere alongthe line.
I grew kind of proud ofwatching you, of just seeing a
man that had no reason to standup, do it time after time.
And then she cuts to that fightin the Feywild between you and
(06:48):
the cultists where you two, sogreatly outmatched, just decided
to give it your all to save adragon and its eggs its eggs.
(07:11):
She goes in.
That's.
That's where I started torealize maybe you did deserve
the reputation you have, becausethat takes not just somebody
that can take a hit but knowswhen it's worth to take in the
hit for someone else chesterrubs his head like shyly and
he's like well I mean like Idon't know.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
I just never didn't make much sense, not to you know
, we cut to.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
Ekrem Pewter and you were walking along the astral
plane.
It's odd, because she's justkind of she's doing the walking
and you're just kind of floatingalongside her thinking, yeah
thinking about this directionyeah, you know, bud.
(07:53):
Uh, I watched you for a longtime.
I've seen, I've seen yousucceed a lot.
I've seen you fail a lot.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
You've probably seen that one more.
Yeah, no way.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Well, we weren't keeping tabs, but yeah, you kind
of called it uh, a lot of a lot.
I've seen you fail a lot.
You've probably seen that onemore.
Yeah, no, well, we weren'tkeeping tabs, but yeah, you kind
of called it A lot of failuresin your life.
And what's always impressed meabout you is every time you were
given the same choice to pickpower, to let it that corruption
in you, let it fester and fillyou.
(08:24):
And every time you let itfester and fill you, and every
time you've said no.
And this time, this time, youhave gotten so close to
succeeding and you still didn'tpick it when it would have been
the easy choice.
That's what I love about youmortals is you always are
(08:47):
surprising me.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
Well, I feel like it's the least that we can do.
I'm also still having a hardtime getting over the fact that
pretty sure you were a mortal atone point and you're probably
just using this body to like berelatable to me and Pewter's
probably still dead.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
I've kind of come to realize that yeah, it's like
that thing in contact whereyou're like, is this what you
would rather see?
Speaker 2 (09:05):
And then just turn something horrible and you're
like, oh no, no, Go back to thelittle dwarf woman.
Yeah, please.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
Had you are wise beyond your years or wise beyond
your stat points One of the twoLiterally less wise than normal
Do you feel yourself justrushing through the astral plane
until you see yourself floatingin front of the city.
Not the city, the tangible placethat you knew on the material
(09:33):
plane, but the city as it wouldexist on the astral plane, as
this almost echo or mirageversion of itself.
You see all that psychic energygenerated by the sleeping god,
and then faint little dotsaround the city that you realize
(09:53):
are the emanations of everyliving creature that calls that
place home.
Some bright, flickering, somedying, uh, you kind of realize
like there's a battle going onthroughout the city and she goes
pewter, looks at you and saysthat's right now me.
(10:14):
Well, it is me, it was me, it'sall the parts of us that matter
and I I think you two are readyto finally fix this permanently
.
For a while I wanted to wake up,to feel alive again, to walk
(10:39):
through the cosmos and feel ittremble under me.
Then I dreamed the cosmos andfeel it tremble under me.
Then I dreamed and in thatdream and I saw this place and
all of your lives and all yourchoices, and I saw it reset time
and again.
(11:00):
And yet you all kept trying.
And then the people like youand Chester are so brave in the
face of all the things thatcould go wrong, and you either
didn't give in or you keptgetting back up and I realized,
(11:20):
I think in that moment I learnedlearned to love you, you
short-lived, fragile littlethings.
I want you to succeed this time, bud.
I don't want to see it getreduced again.
I want to see you guys finish astory.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
Well, if I can make it back, I can make sure to
close this book.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
I'd like that she begins to grow larger.
She goes.
I'd really like that she getsbigger.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
A giant dwarf.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
Yes, it's an oxymoron Much like in a dream, when
you're like I'm running, but I'mstanding still, I'm at the
grocery store, but it's also mydad.
Here.
I would like that You're notgoing gonna like this part and
she begins to walk backward fromyou.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
You're gonna want to hold still for this part, ekram
okay that doesn't tell meanything, really, and she comes
charging through you or for you.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
You see, just as she's running, just this astral
energy, this psychic forcebuilding up around her, almost
like a bullet fired from a gun,just breaking the airwaves
around her, and she just bootsyou, just kicks your soul self
hard.
Speaker 3 (12:42):
Into another dimension.
Yeah, she overshot it hurdletowards the city.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
You smash through the shadowy, like void, that used
to be.
The shadow fell through theliving feywild which you saved.
You see the, the fey dragoncircling around, a small dragon
uh, its offspring underneath itoh, those eggs were close.
Yeah, and then the goose kingjust ker-honking his way through
(13:11):
there, yeah.
You slam into the library doinga sick superhero landing.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Back to the knees.
Speaker 1 (13:21):
Give me an athletics check, oh come on.
Come on.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
You're ruining this cool entrance 11.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
You know what you stick that landing, though as
you get up you're like, oh darn,that does not feel great.
It was like early Marvel.
It was like, hmm, all right.
You find yourself back in thecrater from where you smashed
your staff of power.
On the edge of it you see thelifeless body of Chester.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
He wasn't okay.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
You just see in the corner the little shadow version
of you being like yeah, I lied,gotcha fucker, I killed you, I
killed you, you're in hell.
Do I really see him?
No, okay, you're like.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
You know, I'm gonna shadow dagger him again yeah, I
was like priority number one andI just see kaga approaching the
dragon, like how much is thedragon dead?
It feels like we've been gonefor a while.
Yes, about an episode.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
You see the chamber where the lore dragon or the
lore worm was kind of manningthe defenses is vacant.
You see a doorway behind thatopen, but you can't see anything
else.
Go ahead and give me aperception check to see if you
hear anything.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
Nope, I do not.
Okay, I can give you the bonusif you really think a seven is
gonna make a big difference no,okay, you just see the lifeless
body of chester.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
A pool of blood, so much blood.
Almost like somebody I'm gonnasay he like juiced his own self
berryberry.
Speaker 3 (15:04):
Okay, that could have been phrased better, I'm sure.
Yeah, there's got to be.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
It's like somebody had a jelly donut and just
squeezed himself.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
So here's the thing about shadow sorcerers Not many
healing options.
Speaker 3 (15:18):
Are you sure?
Because I remember threeepisodes ago we found out you
could have been helping me healthis entire time.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
That's true, but I can't heal dead but uh, so yeah,
can I run up and do like amedicine check or an arcana,
just go ahead and head on up anduh, give me a medicine check
nine, I'm getting upset you, uh,you're a middle guy yep, you
feel uh for a pulse on Chesterand you don't feel anything.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Go ahead and give me an Arcana check.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
Suspense.
Okay, that can't be bad, that'sa 22.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
You notice there's a faint glowing pulse around his
hands covered in blood.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
The tattoos are faintly flickering, pulsing with
faint light.
Can I try and use my healinghands that I get to just try and
just if there's any ounce oflife left in him to try and
bring him back?
Sure, and that's a speciestrait that I got and it's
basically just a one-time actionto heal 15 hit points
mechanically.
That's how it works, but I will.
(16:32):
I will grasp his hand andthat'll be the method of
transfer, trying to to keep thatessence in it yeah, uh, so it's
just a flat 15 hit points.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
Yes, okay, you feel those cold hands begin to warm
and while Chester doesn't awakenor even seem to show a pulse,
you feel those tattoos or yousee those tattoos begin to glow
brighter.
We cut to Chester.
Speaker 3 (17:00):
Sure hope.
No one's holding my dead body'shands.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
I'll be like come on you, son of a bitch, and I'll
slap him in the face Live, liveas you slap him in the face.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
In this realm that he's in, the sky shakes.
You stand next to the killer,the former, the killer formerly
known as Number One and thelittle girl, and she looks at
you and she goes the little girlthis.
She looks at you and she goesthe little girl, this is not the
(17:29):
killer, she goes Chester.
What do you want?
Speaker 3 (17:33):
Well, to be honest, I don't necessarily love leaving
a job undone, so so Can I.
Can I go back?
Speaker 1 (17:53):
She smiles.
Chester, what I love.
You've always been A man withsimple dreams, but they've been
Thank you so big.
You've dreamed of being thebest boxer, the best friend to
Ekrem.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
You're reading my diary, you, son of a bitch.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
Oh, it's going to be hard to beat my buddy Doug.
Speaker 3 (18:17):
Oh, this is a work relationship, man.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
You always wanted to be the best, even though you
failed every time.
So how about you get up thereand just give it one more shot?
Speaker 3 (18:35):
I mean, I'll give it two or three more shots.
Honestly, I'll keep coming back.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
You get one.
Oh, okay, hey, hey, hey, I'mjust saying I'm pretty
persistent, being greedy.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
I'm not trying to be Shut up.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
Shut up voice the little girl.
As she's holding your hand, shebegins to grow you almost like.
She almost lifts you up, justeffortlessly.
She grows again up into theclouds, up in uh to the sky, as
(19:07):
it pierces this kind of curvingearth.
You find out that actually it'sall round not flat.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
I have been involved in so many groups.
This is a fantasy world.
I gotta let them know.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
You see, this place you thought you were is like a
child's dream of the citySkyscrapers built of candy and
held up by just kind of all thethings that are we all kind of
(19:47):
just dream about and forget aswe get older.
Uh, all that whimsy and fun.
And she, uh she says, chester,I hope you got this one this
time.
I believe in you.
I believe in you too.
(20:07):
And she says I'm really sorryabout this.
And she throws you as youhurtle up through, you smash
through this fantasy barrier,this magical land of kind of
like make-believe, like thisimagination place I don't want
(20:28):
to say imagination land, becauseI know like somebody's going to
listen to this podcast.
South Park did it.
But you smash through that.
You feel that cold, clingingvoid of what used to be the
Shadowfell touch you and thenyou break through into the
Feywild.
You just see that grinning catand a look of surprise on his
face as he sees you hurtlingpast like a comet in the air.
(20:51):
I just give him a little wave.
He just doesn't even.
It just waves back at you.
It's confused, like why dometeors wave?
Now you slam into your body asif, like your entire essence
came back.
Your wound in your chest heals.
Speaker 3 (21:14):
Rapidly bleeding.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
You just have Ekrem holding your hand.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
I saved you twice.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
Let's do that reunion .
What's that look?
Speaker 2 (21:25):
like.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
Ekrem just taking all the credit.
Yeah right.
Speaker 3 (21:29):
Oh hey, buddy, I thought you exploded.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
I did, but I'm back.
I talked to God.
I think that was very confusing.
It looks like you were reallyclose to talking to God.
No, I talked to God.
I think that was very confusing.
It looks like you were reallyclose to talking to God.
No, I talked to God.
Speaker 3 (21:44):
Well, huh, god sent.
Well, I don't know it was likeI talked to.
I don't know, I talked tosomebody.
They sent me back.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
Yeah, yeah, I got sent back too.
I feel like this should be areally emotional moment, but
there's that door and the time,dragon's gone and I I feel like
we we need to get going plus,I'm incredibly sticky with my
own blood, so I'm not feelinglike emotionally available right
now I pressed the digitationshit his pants.
I'm like buddy it's what.
Speaker 3 (22:12):
It's what.
It's what happens when you die.
I know I'm not, I'm notembarrassed, I died, it's, it's
natural.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
No, but how about we have the touchy-feely catch up
after all this, after we close?
Speaker 3 (22:25):
this out.
Sound good.
Yeah, sounds pretty good.
Plus, I turned evil.
I'm going to get you Nah, I'mjust kidding Shadow dagger.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
He's like, yeah, I've dealt with this before I see
where the wound closed up and Ijust slowly just Nah, I've dealt
with this before.
Speaker 3 (22:40):
I see where the wound closed up and I just slowly
just Not again.
Like no, I'm just kidding,buddy, let's go, well, let's go,
beat the shit out of Kaga.
I guess.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
Yeah, yeah, it feels like she deserves it at this
point.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
I'm not to be rude, but my greens are steamed about
this one.
Your what my greens?
I got real steamed greens.
I'm pretty upset.
Is that a saying we're movingwhile I'm doing?
Speaker 2 (23:02):
this, by the way.
Speaker 3 (23:04):
Man, I'm really miffed.
I've heard that one Really getsmy goat.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
Uh-huh, yep, I get that one too.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
There's something with grits, I'm not sure what.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
Oh no, I want to see where this goes.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
We stopped and we're like hey, buddy, what did you
find out in heaven?
Speaker 3 (23:22):
I also have a brain tumor.
He's like, yeah, Like we'resending him back Also see a
doctor.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
It's one of those things where they're like it's
really like it takes a greaterrestoration to fix a stroke.
Speaker 3 (23:36):
You only got partial coverage.
Just do a quick check.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
How's your left side doing Well?
Speaker 3 (23:42):
it smells like toast, if that helps.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
Just make sure you ask for an itemized bill.
Speaker 1 (23:49):
You guys can make your way into this chamber.
Go ahead and give me perception.
Checks the two of youHistorically good at these.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
Oh, I came back fucking ready, natural 20.
Speaker 3 (24:01):
Let's go 17.
17.
I see everything.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
The boys are back in town.
Yeah, you just hear a sickguitar solo somewhere, like it's
playing that epic battle music.
Speaker 3 (24:13):
The reason I only got less than you is because I put
on sunglasses.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
You guys enter this room, it is full of smoke and
you can almost taste the magicthat's been expelled in this
room, just various sigils andseals bursting their stored
energy around.
You see again the few scatteredcorpses of some cultists and
(24:42):
some of the cultists' monstrouscompanions.
And then, at the far end ofthis chamber, you see Kaga as
she delivers a mighty blow tothe time dragon, the lore worm
as it drops, not dead, but shestands over it, ready to deal a
(25:06):
final killing blow.
Speaker 3 (25:07):
I have done a lot of the big speeches.
You want this one.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
I mean, I'm not much for talking, and it's literally
about to die.
Yeah, I mean it's been good bud.
I know that it seems like weboth have died before.
Speaker 3 (25:20):
Oh, not to me.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
Hey, kaga, fuck you.
She turns, she just looks.
How many times do I have tokill you two?
Speaker 3 (25:31):
One more.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
All right, go ahead and roll initiative.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
Not as exciting, you ready.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
Yeah, 13.
13.
All right, though not bad, notbad.
Uh, 16, all right.
She delivers a boot to the faceof the the lore worm, just kind
of leaving it stunned therewith that boot to the face.
She turns to face you two, justkind of pops her neck, picks up
(26:00):
her blood axe from the groundwhere she left it, stores the
dagger in her belt and then justwordlessly charges at you 30.
Does that hit Chester what?
Speaker 2 (26:13):
Yes, also, is it just her, or is it like her, with a
bunch of cultists?
Just her, just her, just her.
Speaker 3 (26:19):
Okay, please don't Help, don't help.
I was just asking.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
And a 24?
.
Speaker 3 (26:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
Both of those hit.
Speaker 3 (26:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
I'm sorry, it's just fun for me, what do you mean?
Speaker 3 (26:30):
Just fun for?
Speaker 1 (26:30):
me All right, it's a D12 plus 14.
Speaker 3 (26:35):
Yeah, I got an 18.
18's pretty good.
I don't have shield cast on meor nothing, Just goddammit yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
All right.
She swings at you and like ablow that if you were still the
Chester that she dispatched witha dagger thrust would have hurt
so much, Axe bites into you andyou almost just don't notice it
(27:05):
, you'll take six points ofdamage.
You see a look of frustrationand shock on her face.
That second sword swing comesin and it deals 11 damage.
Speaker 3 (27:15):
All right chester, what do you want to do?
Uh, I'm going to.
Is there anything like a chair,a table or anything around me,
like within, like grabbingdistance?
Speaker 1 (27:25):
yeah, there's uh definitely some smashed
furniture that you could grab tomake a improvised weapon I
would like to grab a table leg.
Speaker 3 (27:31):
What's the damage on like a table leg?
Speaker 1 (27:33):
we'll make it a club, um, so it would be a.
You're gonna use it one-handedor two-handed?
Uh, two-handed okay, we'lltreat it like a mall, so it'd be
a d12 or 2d6.
Speaker 3 (27:41):
I'm sorry, okay so first attack we're gonna go
ahead with does a 29 hit?
Sure does 31.
And then last one ooh, 17, yeah, oh, all right.
So I'm gonna use my scofflawstuff at 10th level uh, which we
got big mad ups from the uh,fade the fade dragon, the fade
(28:02):
lady on a hit I get to exploitthe target's defenses, dealing
5d6 points damage on use of thisability.
Can't use again until they takea short long rest.
Okay, no, I don't want to dothat oh, okay, you don't have to
, I'm not not going to.
I have to find the.
That's the one cool thing about.
When you level up, you justhave all this new stuff, all
(28:22):
right.
First hits for 27 damage Okay.
And then the second hits for 15damage Okay.
And then the third hits for 15damage.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
All right, so that's 57 points of damage in that
first three attacks with a tableleg.
Okay, so you just take that andyou just smash that on her.
You see as, uh, you bash herwith that, that piece of
furniture three times, she turnsand locks eyes with you and, uh
(28:55):
, you actually see respect andalso, uh, her face.
You've drawn a couple lines ofblood.
You've never actually seen kagabesides when that staff went
off in her face like bleed herown blood.
Ekram, what do you want to do?
Speaker 2 (29:09):
okay, as this is going down, I try and get her
attention and I say hey kaga andyeah and just in that tone yeah
, well, kind of like in a snarkytone like this is kind of like
I'm very confident afterliterally coming back what felt
like hell, confronting my otherevil self, feeling this brand
(29:30):
new power and you start to seelike your hell was pretty chill
dude, yeah, I mean, it was likea void black nothingness, you
know.
And and flames start to spark inmy hand and when she looks over
I'll say I hope you feel everybit of this, and I snap my
finger and cast immolation onher.
Okay, what's she got to do?
A dexterity saving throw of 18.
(29:51):
I'm going to go ahead and startrolling my dice.
Speaker 1 (29:55):
Yeah, she fails that.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
Good.
Speaker 1 (30:01):
No, that's too many rolls.
I don't like when it's thisside of the equation for me.
Speaker 3 (30:07):
Yeah, you've been playing Kaga this whole time,
just beating this tar out of us.
Speaker 2 (30:11):
Okay, so I'm going to spend one of my sorcery points
to re-roll three of my sorcerypoints to re-roll three of my
d8s that I got ones on.
Okay, let me add my bonus herereally quick.
This is the most dice I'verolled in a while.
So it looks like she will betaking about 52 points of fire
(30:32):
damage, alright, and she will betaking that basically every
turn.
Wow, okay, you can repeat thesaving throw every turn, though,
okay, and then with that, oncethat happens, I will hold up my
other hand and I will summon myHound of Ill Omen.
Speaker 1 (30:50):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
Which will go on a bite on her.
I'm assuming a 12 does not hit.
No, all right, cool.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
This is is gonna be fun.
You hear a sound you've neverheard before, which is kaga in
pain.
Yeah, she's not used to this,like she's used to being the one
doing the hurting, and you guyshave just, in one turn, showed
her that she's vulnerable.
She's going to go ahead andtake three.
(31:22):
I'm sorry.
She's going to take one swingat you with the blood axe,
chester, and then she's going totake a punch at you with her
follow-up hand, just like ablind.
Speaker 3 (31:32):
Okay, and it does do an extra 1d6 of fire damage.
Thanks, dog.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
And she also goes into a rage.
Speaker 2 (31:42):
We see her better because she sheds bright light
for 30 feet.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
Oh good 29.
Yep 32.
Speaker 3 (31:51):
I just say yes to all of them.
18?
Yes.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
Okay, damn, yeah, still fun for me.
Uh, all right, you're going totake 10 points of damage and
then the punches.
Okay, that's going to be 8points of bludgeoning damage.
9 points of bludgeoning damage.
Speaker 3 (32:16):
Hey man, we're going to want to make quick work of
this, already, already.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
For those of you at home, don't take a drink when
these two are.
Speaker 3 (32:31):
Combating.
Speaker 1 (32:32):
We're doing so good, and then they're like oh no, but
we also are squishy too.
Speaker 2 (32:36):
I'm doing fine.
The thing is, it's not that I'msquishy.
Speaker 3 (32:39):
I'm just hittable.
Speaker 1 (32:43):
I've seen your face.
I get it.
Was that the end of her turn?
So that is going to be the endof her turn?
Okay, at the end of her turn.
So that is going to be the endof her turn.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
Okay.
At the end of her turn she hasto try and succeed on another
dexterity saving throw or take46 fire damage moving forward
Okay.
Speaker 1 (32:59):
Okay, she's going to fail that.
Okay.
So each turn she's going totake 46.
No new saves.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
Every turn she can try and make that save and on a
fail she takes the 46, which wasonly six damage.
No new saves.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
Every turn.
Speaker 2 (33:14):
She can try and make that save.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
And on a fail she takes the 46, which was only six
damage.
I rolled very low, all right,fantastic.
It's still, damage is damage isdamage.
She just again just threw thesegritted teeth like why won't
you die?
And that's your turn, chester.
Speaker 3 (33:31):
Okay, I'm going to do a couple of cool things.
Hopefully I'm going to go aheadand first I'm going to start
with like a just like quicklygrab like a broken beaker or
like some glass thing and justlike kind of like use it like a
quick attack action to like jamit up in like her ribs and using
my blindside ability.
Speaker 1 (33:51):
Are you going do the liam neeson in the gray thing
where you got just liquorbottles?
No, no, no.
Speaker 3 (33:55):
That was baller though it was very cool gonna
punch wolves, uh, no, uh.
But what I'm gonna do is andthen I'm gonna take a swing and
just kind of like try to likebash it up into her and like
shatter it up into her ribs.
Okay, does a 29 hit.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (34:11):
All right For 22 damage, fantastic.
And then I'm going to I'm goingto go ahead and take another.
Just a pure punch at her, okay,and I'm going to use my infamy
as part of my attack action.
I can cause a target within 30feet to become frightened of me
for one minute on a failedwisdom saving throw.
Okay, I can cause a targetwithin 30 feet to become
frightened of me for one minuteon a failed wisdom saving throw.
(34:33):
An effective target may repeatthis throw at the end of each of
their turns, Ending effects onsuccess.
The DC for the save is 8 plus 5or plus 8 or plus 5.
I don't know what that means.
It's a creature who haswitnessed or heard tales of my
ruthlessness makes adisadvantage if they think I'm
ruthless.
Speaker 1 (34:52):
But I'm like, okay, yeah, she's afraid of you right
now, so she's going to have tospend her action moving away
from you.
Speaker 3 (34:58):
Yeah.
So I hit her with that one andI'm just like it's because I
have no joy in this, there's nolust for this, it is what must
be done.
And then I would like to use myscofflaw and grab another table
leg and break it over her head.
If she tries to start fleeing,I'll activate my Eldritch Claw
tattoos as well.
(35:18):
2032 to hit Yep.
Speaker 1 (35:21):
Okay, so what are all your damages?
Speaker 3 (35:24):
So it's going to be.
Being a fighter at high levelis fun For the damage.
Oh, chat's so low.
Six damage on the explodingtable leg over her, okay.
And then I'm going to Axe andStrange and just take three big
oh plus D6 for the claw, so six,ten total on that one.
And then I'm going to do threequick attacks 24.
(35:47):
Okay, higher and 30.
Okay, higher and 30.
Okay, okay.
So that's going to be 12 plus14 plus 13.
Okay.
Speaker 1 (35:58):
She, yeah, you see her eyes grow wide in fear, as
if she doesn't quite understandhow you've come back and are
able to do this.
Speaker 3 (36:10):
Neither do I.
Speaker 1 (36:13):
I anticipated you'd be confused.
Me to be confused is different.
Ekram, it's your turn.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
Can I make a perception check to see how
she's doing?
Yeah, 17.
She's looking pretty messed up.
She's looking pretty messed up,man.
If I'm just going to do it andhopefully, it works out.
Speaker 3 (36:35):
If not, it's gonna be really embarrassing.
I break the staff of power overmy knee.
Speaker 2 (36:37):
Yeah, I, I duct tape it together and I break it again
.
Um, I will walk up to kaga oruse my, my movement to go up to
her, and then I will reach outand I will grab her and use my
new seventh level spell, fingerof Death.
Okay, and she must make aconstitution saving throw of 18,
(36:59):
which I'm assuming she's prettygood with.
Speaker 1 (37:01):
Yeah, you would think , oh, Except for when you roll
like that.
She had to beat 18?
Speaker 2 (37:07):
Yes, or take half.
Speaker 1 (37:08):
Okay, she'll take half.
Speaker 2 (37:13):
Okay, and I'm at.
Uh, she had to beat 18, yes, ortake half.
Okay, she'll take half, okay,and I'm going to use two more of
my sorcery points to re-rolltwo of these d8s, for you said
it would be halved.
The total damage was 38, okay,okay, is that enough to kill her
?
No, okay, never mind, I won'tsay the cool line, yeah.
It's a bummer oh wait, sorry,it's plus 30 necrotic damage.
Speaker 1 (37:32):
God 38 plus 30?
.
Speaker 2 (37:34):
It was 38 plus 30.
So 68.
Speaker 1 (37:38):
So 68 halved, so 34.
Yes, we're back at her turn.
She kind of looks at you,chester, and see that, just that
fear in her eyes and she turnsto run.
You'll get an opportunityattack here.
Speaker 3 (37:52):
I think it's not too late to quit 29 okay that'll hit
.
Speaker 2 (37:57):
Did she do her dex saving throw at the end of her
last?
Speaker 1 (38:00):
19.
She hasn't gone since that 19damage okay all right, thanks.
Oh, just claw tattoos yeahshe's gonna take that time to
run towards akron, or it's akronI'm gonna take.
Well, I walked up to her to ohwait, holy shit, she's raging.
She can't be frightened, she'sa good actor she's just like
(38:25):
just kind of like I would beafraid of you if you weren't a
dead man.
Speaker 3 (38:31):
Yeah, it hits 30.
Let me know if it hits a one,one or 20.
25.
Yep, one or 20 is the only twooptions.
Speaker 1 (38:37):
Okay, but that's three swings with that axe at
your head.
Yeah, it is dude.
Speaker 2 (38:42):
Also, rebar is the last one I'm trying.
Speaker 1 (38:45):
Oh, she'll re-roll it yeah it's still going to hit.
Damn it.
Speaker 2 (38:48):
It has to be a one, okay, but you got advantage on
your next attack, buddy.
Speaker 1 (38:53):
Get her You're going to take 20 points of damage.
Speaker 3 (38:57):
That's bad, it's not great.
I'm not dead, but that's notgood.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
Okay and then.
Yeah, that's going to be theend of her turn.
Make that saving throw.
Speaker 2 (39:11):
Okay yeah, she fails that again.
Nice Six plus six plus one plusfive, so it's pretty good.
Speaker 1 (39:19):
Yeah, are you going to tell me the math 18.
It's 18.
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (39:24):
Jesus man.
Speaker 1 (39:26):
All right.
Speaker 3 (39:27):
Chester, your turn.
I'm going to go ahead and justgrab something nearby and take a
big swing at her.
Where do you keep findingweapon-shaped stools?
It's in a closet, it's just avery.
Speaker 1 (39:38):
Why did I fight this dragon in an Ikea?
Speaker 3 (39:41):
20?
.
Speaker 1 (39:43):
Yeah, that'll hit.
Speaker 3 (39:44):
Okay, I don't know her stats 24 and then 20 again.
Okay, so it's going to be 10,12, 14, 11.
Okay, it's not too late.
Don't make us do this.
Speaker 1 (39:58):
Ekrem, it's your turn .
Speaker 3 (40:02):
Back to me, it's fast , but I just have to hit three
buttons Punch, punch, punch.
Speaker 2 (40:09):
I'm going to use Psychic Lance.
Okay, so she needs to make asaving throw of intelligence for
18.
I was like, well, I triedConstitution.
She's kind of beefy, so I'mgoing to hit her in the brain
Good job.
Speaker 3 (40:23):
She got a brain Ekrum Get it 18.
Speaker 2 (40:26):
Ain't that a kick in the dick?
I'm not gonna do that.
Instead I'm gonna do fireboltstick with your psychic yeah, so
she's gonna take half.
Total damage was 30, so 15 shelets out a cry as her.
Speaker 1 (40:43):
she reaches to grasp her head and she drops uh, as
you've shattered her mind Withthat, you've defeated Kaga.
Her unconscious, lifeless bodyis there on the floor.
You two sprint towards the timedragon and see it still
(41:08):
breathing.
Speaker 2 (41:09):
That was going to be a make sure she's dead moment.
You know you want to double tap.
Speaker 3 (41:15):
I was thinking about it I'm like you got the uh go
put your uh good healing help onher, I'll uh.
Speaker 2 (41:21):
Or on the time dragon , I'll be uh I only get one of
those per long rest, so I can doit in eight hours.
Oh sorry, I had a moment ofclarity there.
I don't know what I just said alittle meta narrative there.
Yeah, yeah, sorry I I used itto to save your life again, oh
yeah, really unappreciativechester, I mean all right, I
(41:43):
didn't know dude, sorry I wasdead.
No, I'll be dramatic.
In the moment I was like I I'msorry I tapped out, I can't well
I just slowly like stand onkaga's neck, just like don't
worry about this yeah, oh, thehealing magic.
Speaker 1 (41:59):
I was like, yeah, all right, I mean, she has this
ability where she'd pop back upat one hit point, uh, but it
really with you standing on herneck she's just like trying to
bite her time.
Be like play possum Kaga playpossum.
Speaker 2 (42:13):
This is why I said make sure she's dead.
Speaker 3 (42:17):
Do you go over to the time, dragon, do I?
Speaker 2 (42:22):
I thought that's where we both went.
Speaker 3 (42:24):
I was going to say, as you go, talk to her, because
it takes a minute to stand onsomeone's neck until they're
dead.
Speaker 2 (42:29):
I was going to ask if you wanted to do the honors or
if you're.
I know you're a bit squeamish,so it's not really glory to grow
I guess it's not really a glorything.
Speaker 3 (42:37):
I'm just gonna make sure this nothing bad happens
over here.
You go see what's up and I willall right.
Speaker 1 (42:42):
Uh, you go run to the time, dragon.
You see?
Uh, shallow breaths, um.
Several superficial wounds dotits body and then one deep gash
seems to be near where its heartwas.
The area around it is fastdecaying Through this luminous
(43:07):
form.
Black lines of rot begin toemanate from that wound.
Her eyes snap open.
She goes Akram, where did youcome from?
Speaker 2 (43:23):
Kind of hell, but right now what's important is
getting you better, because itlooks like you're in very rough
shape.
Speaker 1 (43:31):
Oh yes, well, I've been better, I've also been
worse.
I kind of exist in all pointsof time.
So like my best day is also myworst day.
It's very confusing.
Speaker 2 (43:42):
Yeah, what can I do to help you?
Is there like a secret, likeband-aid, like something?
Speaker 1 (43:50):
Yes, you can help, you can go and fix all of this,
and she goes.
I need you and Chester to makeit to the center of the city, to
(44:11):
the soul of it.
Only there can you set thingsright, and that's where we're
going to end this one.
Speaker 3 (44:20):
Did you say more cardio?
God damn it.
Yeah, All right guys.
Speaker 1 (44:26):
You beat Kaga.
You kept her from having adramatic reveal coming back
Freddy Krueger style at the endbecause you smothered her with a
pillow metaphorically but wherecan we find you guys?
Where can we see you otherwise?
Speaker 3 (44:38):
oh, hi everybody.
I'm Tyson Cox.
You can find me at Tyson Coxcomedy.
Follow me on Instagram.
That's kind of where I posteverything linktree or linktree
slash.
Tyson Cox comedy for all theother stuff.
Speaker 2 (44:49):
All right, my name is Tyler Waltz.
You can find everything I do atmostly YouTube, or also
Instagram and Facebook at NerdNews.
Speaker 1 (44:56):
And you can find me on all of my comedy stuff at
KevinEgglestoncom or at Kevinunderscore egg on the socials.
Chester blackness fades from your eyes.
Instead, you're in this spaceof almost blinding radiance.
You are floating on a pool ofGo and give me a perception.
(00:22):
Check.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
Six.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
You feel like you're in a pool of root beer.
Speaker 3 (00:33):
All right.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Around you.
As the light kind of grow, youreyes grow accustomed to light.
You see bright colors.
A unicorn flies through the skyas you sit up.
You realize, uh, you should besinking in this root beer pool
(00:57):
I'm dead, so nah and it's notregular beer, so you're in hell.
Asmodeus raises up and is likehey, gotcha Chester.
No, you look around, the landitself almost seems to be If the
Feywild was this land ofunrestrained emotion, these
(01:22):
almost vibrant positive energythat you remember.
This almost seems like a dreamof that.
You see trees made of candies.
You see little sprite-likecreatures flitting about At the
(01:44):
edge of the little lake you findyourself floating on.
You see a woman clad in blackleather armor holding hands with
a young girl.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
Hey, killer number one.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
I'm gonna give her a big wave.
You can tell from this distanceshe is just dismissively
looking at you, but you see thelittle child next to her just
giving you that awkward littlekid wave.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
I stand up, I guess, on the stuff that I'm floating.
I guess probably kind ofsloppily, jauntily, clumsily
make my way over.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
Let's go ahead and give me an athletics.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
Check to see if you can do this gracefully.
Gracefully, that's my plus.
Yeah, ooh 27.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
All right, you walk on water as if you were always
supposed to.
You're like, finally, therespect.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
I deserve Turns out, it was the solid ground that was
my issue this entire time.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
Uh, you stride towards these, uh, two figures.
The little girl looks up at thekiller and she says well, I
told you he'd be fine, I toldyou as he would I'm sorry I died
little girl.
I apologize about the killerlooks at you and she goes it's
not that you died, Chester,Everyone dies.
(03:10):
That's the one thing we don'tget back up from, but it's that
you tried every time.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
Well, I mean, and it just is like such a foreign
concept to him to not yeah.
The little girl reaches herhand towards you.
Do you take it?
Oh sorry, yeah, yes, I take thehand.
You're like yeah, fuck you kid,you're not getting me this way
(03:40):
no fay wild.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Chris hansen steps out and is like huh please have
a sit on this toadstool.
She does that and she kind ofpositions herself in between you
and the killer, like almostlike it's.
You know, like when you were alittle kid, where your parents,
like you, were in between yourparents and they kind of swung
you around a little bit myparents yeeted me and she kind
(04:05):
of just starts skipping,dragging you guys along behind
her.
And as you walk through thisland, you look down and you
realize the grass is likelicorice vines.
This is hell, just sticky sweetyou.
Automatically you're like Ican't feel my toes.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
Diabetes through osmosis?
Yeah, it's crazy.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
That's how it happens , she.
I told you you'd be here andyou've never.
You didn't win, but you didn't.
You didn't ever fail, chester.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
Well, you know, I never thought of it like that.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
She stops Chester trips over.
Give me an athletics check, no,no.
See if you accidentally drop.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
kick this creepy child Creepy child, don't fail
your afterlife debt savingtrance 18.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
18?
Yeah, you kind of do thatlittle hop around her.
I didn't.
I picked you because you alwaystry, chester, you always you
make me laugh every time becauseyou're just so silly when you
fail.
But it just looks, you just doit so funny and you'd never let
(05:26):
it get you down we just do asmash cut of all the times I'm
like laying yeah, there's amontage there's like knives in
me and like I'm spitting brokenteeth you just see ekram like
pulling a beer bottle out of you.
That you're like nobody stabbedyou with it.
You just fell on it I don'tlike that.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
yeah, be broken and be stabbed me, me in the back,
come on.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
There's one day you cut yourself, shaving your head
and it's just a gushing headwound and I slip and hit my head
with it.
Killer's like huh, Huh, youreally got my title, huh.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
Yeah, okay.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
She just looks at you and she goes.
You know, chester, I hated youfor a really long time Floating
around watching you with mytitle, my reputation, everyone
(06:23):
thinking I lost to someone likeyou.
My reputation everyone thinkingI lost to someone like you.
But she goes somewhere alongthe line.
I grew kind of proud ofwatching you, of just seeing a
man that had no reason to standup, do it time after time.
And then she cuts to that fightin the Feywild between you and
(06:48):
the cultists where you two, sogreatly outmatched, just decided
to give it your all to save adragon and its eggs its eggs.
(07:11):
She goes in.
That's.
That's where I started torealize maybe you did deserve
the reputation you have, becausethat takes not just somebody
that can take a hit but knowswhen it's worth to take in the
hit for someone else chesterrubs his head like shyly and
he's like well I mean like Idon't know.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
I just never didn't make much sense, not to you know
, we cut to.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
Ekrem Pewter and you were walking along the astral
plane.
It's odd, because she's justkind of she's doing the walking
and you're just kind of floatingalongside her thinking, yeah
thinking about this directionyeah, you know, bud.
(07:53):
Uh, I watched you for a longtime.
I've seen, I've seen yousucceed a lot.
I've seen you fail a lot.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
You've probably seen that one more.
Yeah, no way.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Well, we weren't keeping tabs, but yeah, you kind
of called it uh, a lot of a lot.
I've seen you fail a lot.
You've probably seen that onemore.
Yeah, no, well, we weren'tkeeping tabs, but yeah, you kind
of called it A lot of failuresin your life.
And what's always impressed meabout you is every time you were
given the same choice to pickpower, to let it that corruption
in you, let it fester and fillyou.
(08:24):
And every time you let itfester and fill you, and every
time you've said no.
And this time, this time, youhave gotten so close to
succeeding and you still didn'tpick it when it would have been
the easy choice.
That's what I love about youmortals is you always are
(08:47):
surprising me.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
Well, I feel like it's the least that we can do.
I'm also still having a hardtime getting over the fact that
pretty sure you were a mortal atone point and you're probably
just using this body to like berelatable to me and Pewter's
probably still dead.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
I've kind of come to realize that yeah, it's like
that thing in contact whereyou're like, is this what you
would rather see?
Speaker 2 (09:05):
And then just turn something horrible and you're
like, oh no, no, Go back to thelittle dwarf woman.
Yeah, please.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
Had you are wise beyond your years or wise beyond
your stat points One of the twoLiterally less wise than normal
Do you feel yourself justrushing through the astral plane
until you see yourself floatingin front of the city.
Not the city, the tangible placethat you knew on the material
(09:33):
plane, but the city as it wouldexist on the astral plane, as
this almost echo or mirageversion of itself.
You see all that psychic energygenerated by the sleeping god,
and then faint little dotsaround the city that you realize
(09:53):
are the emanations of everyliving creature that calls that
place home.
Some bright, flickering, somedying, uh, you kind of realize
like there's a battle going onthroughout the city and she goes
pewter, looks at you and saysthat's right now me.
(10:14):
Well, it is me, it was me, it'sall the parts of us that matter
and I I think you two are readyto finally fix this permanently
.
For a while I wanted to wake up,to feel alive again, to walk
(10:39):
through the cosmos and feel ittremble under me.
Then I dreamed the cosmos andfeel it tremble under me.
Then I dreamed and in thatdream and I saw this place and
all of your lives and all yourchoices, and I saw it reset time
and again.
(11:00):
And yet you all kept trying.
And then the people like youand Chester are so brave in the
face of all the things thatcould go wrong, and you either
didn't give in or you keptgetting back up and I realized,
(11:20):
I think in that moment I learnedlearned to love you, you
short-lived, fragile littlethings.
I want you to succeed this time, bud.
I don't want to see it getreduced again.
I want to see you guys finish astory.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
Well, if I can make it back, I can make sure to
close this book.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
I'd like that she begins to grow larger.
She goes.
I'd really like that she getsbigger.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
A giant dwarf.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
Yes, it's an oxymoron Much like in a dream, when
you're like I'm running, but I'mstanding still, I'm at the
grocery store, but it's also mydad.
Here.
I would like that You're notgoing gonna like this part and
she begins to walk backward fromyou.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
You're gonna want to hold still for this part, ekram
okay that doesn't tell meanything, really, and she comes
charging through you or for you.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
You see, just as she's running, just this astral
energy, this psychic forcebuilding up around her, almost
like a bullet fired from a gun,just breaking the airwaves
around her, and she just bootsyou, just kicks your soul self
hard.
Speaker 3 (12:42):
Into another dimension.
Yeah, she overshot it hurdletowards the city.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
You smash through the shadowy, like void, that used
to be.
The shadow fell through theliving feywild which you saved.
You see the, the fey dragoncircling around, a small dragon
uh, its offspring underneath itoh, those eggs were close.
Yeah, and then the goose kingjust ker-honking his way through
(13:11):
there, yeah.
You slam into the library doinga sick superhero landing.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Back to the knees.
Speaker 1 (13:21):
Give me an athletics check, oh come on.
Come on.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
You're ruining this cool entrance 11.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
You know what you stick that landing, though as
you get up you're like, oh darn,that does not feel great.
It was like early Marvel.
It was like, hmm, all right.
You find yourself back in thecrater from where you smashed
your staff of power.
On the edge of it you see thelifeless body of Chester.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
He wasn't okay.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
You just see in the corner the little shadow version
of you being like yeah, I lied,gotcha fucker, I killed you, I
killed you, you're in hell.
Do I really see him?
No, okay, you're like.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
You know, I'm gonna shadow dagger him again yeah, I
was like priority number one andI just see kaga approaching the
dragon, like how much is thedragon dead?
It feels like we've been gonefor a while.
Yes, about an episode.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
You see the chamber where the lore dragon or the
lore worm was kind of manningthe defenses is vacant.
You see a doorway behind thatopen, but you can't see anything
else.
Go ahead and give me aperception check to see if you
hear anything.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
Nope, I do not.
Okay, I can give you the bonusif you really think a seven is
gonna make a big difference no,okay, you just see the lifeless
body of chester.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
A pool of blood, so much blood.
Almost like somebody I'm gonnasay he like juiced his own self
berryberry.
Speaker 3 (15:04):
Okay, that could have been phrased better, I'm sure.
Yeah, there's got to be.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
It's like somebody had a jelly donut and just
squeezed himself.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
So here's the thing about shadow sorcerers Not many
healing options.
Speaker 3 (15:18):
Are you sure?
Because I remember threeepisodes ago we found out you
could have been helping me healthis entire time.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
That's true, but I can't heal dead but uh, so yeah,
can I run up and do like amedicine check or an arcana,
just go ahead and head on up anduh, give me a medicine check
nine, I'm getting upset you, uh,you're a middle guy yep, you
feel uh for a pulse on Chesterand you don't feel anything.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Go ahead and give me an Arcana check.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
Suspense.
Okay, that can't be bad, that'sa 22.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
You notice there's a faint glowing pulse around his
hands covered in blood.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
The tattoos are faintly flickering, pulsing with
faint light.
Can I try and use my healinghands that I get to just try and
just if there's any ounce oflife left in him to try and
bring him back?
Sure, and that's a speciestrait that I got and it's
basically just a one-time actionto heal 15 hit points
mechanically.
That's how it works, but I will.
(16:32):
I will grasp his hand andthat'll be the method of
transfer, trying to to keep thatessence in it yeah, uh, so it's
just a flat 15 hit points.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
Yes, okay, you feel those cold hands begin to warm
and while Chester doesn't awakenor even seem to show a pulse,
you feel those tattoos or yousee those tattoos begin to glow
brighter.
We cut to Chester.
Speaker 3 (17:00):
Sure hope.
No one's holding my dead body'shands.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
I'll be like come on you, son of a bitch, and I'll
slap him in the face Live, liveas you slap him in the face.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
In this realm that he's in, the sky shakes.
You stand next to the killer,the former, the killer formerly
known as Number One and thelittle girl, and she looks at
you and she goes the little girlthis.
She looks at you and she goesthe little girl, this is not the
(17:29):
killer, she goes Chester.
What do you want?
Speaker 3 (17:33):
Well, to be honest, I don't necessarily love leaving
a job undone, so so Can I.
Can I go back?
Speaker 1 (17:53):
She smiles.
Chester, what I love.
You've always been A man withsimple dreams, but they've been
Thank you so big.
You've dreamed of being thebest boxer, the best friend to
Ekrem.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
You're reading my diary, you, son of a bitch.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
Oh, it's going to be hard to beat my buddy Doug.
Speaker 3 (18:17):
Oh, this is a work relationship, man.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
You always wanted to be the best, even though you
failed every time.
So how about you get up thereand just give it one more shot?
Speaker 3 (18:35):
I mean, I'll give it two or three more shots.
Honestly, I'll keep coming back.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
You get one.
Oh, okay, hey, hey, hey, I'mjust saying I'm pretty
persistent, being greedy.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
I'm not trying to be Shut up.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
Shut up voice the little girl.
As she's holding your hand, shebegins to grow you almost like.
She almost lifts you up, justeffortlessly.
She grows again up into theclouds, up in uh to the sky, as
(19:07):
it pierces this kind of curvingearth.
You find out that actually it'sall round not flat.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
I have been involved in so many groups.
This is a fantasy world.
I gotta let them know.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
You see, this place you thought you were is like a
child's dream of the citySkyscrapers built of candy and
held up by just kind of all thethings that are we all kind of
(19:47):
just dream about and forget aswe get older.
Uh, all that whimsy and fun.
And she, uh she says, chester,I hope you got this one this
time.
I believe in you.
I believe in you too.
(20:07):
And she says I'm really sorryabout this.
And she throws you as youhurtle up through, you smash
through this fantasy barrier,this magical land of kind of
like make-believe, like thisimagination place I don't want
(20:28):
to say imagination land, becauseI know like somebody's going to
listen to this podcast.
South Park did it.
But you smash through that.
You feel that cold, clingingvoid of what used to be the
Shadowfell touch you and thenyou break through into the
Feywild.
You just see that grinning catand a look of surprise on his
face as he sees you hurtlingpast like a comet in the air.
(20:51):
I just give him a little wave.
He just doesn't even.
It just waves back at you.
It's confused, like why dometeors wave?
Now you slam into your body asif, like your entire essence
came back.
Your wound in your chest heals.
Speaker 3 (21:14):
Rapidly bleeding.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
You just have Ekrem holding your hand.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
I saved you twice.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
Let's do that reunion .
What's that look?
Speaker 2 (21:25):
like.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
Ekrem just taking all the credit.
Yeah right.
Speaker 3 (21:29):
Oh hey, buddy, I thought you exploded.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
I did, but I'm back.
I talked to God.
I think that was very confusing.
It looks like you were reallyclose to talking to God.
No, I talked to God.
I think that was very confusing.
It looks like you were reallyclose to talking to God.
No, I talked to God.
Speaker 3 (21:44):
Well, huh, god sent.
Well, I don't know it was likeI talked to.
I don't know, I talked tosomebody.
They sent me back.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
Yeah, yeah, I got sent back too.
I feel like this should be areally emotional moment, but
there's that door and the time,dragon's gone and I I feel like
we we need to get going plus,I'm incredibly sticky with my
own blood, so I'm not feelinglike emotionally available right
now I pressed the digitationshit his pants.
I'm like buddy it's what.
Speaker 3 (22:12):
It's what.
It's what happens when you die.
I know I'm not, I'm notembarrassed, I died, it's, it's
natural.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
No, but how about we have the touchy-feely catch up
after all this, after we close?
Speaker 3 (22:25):
this out.
Sound good.
Yeah, sounds pretty good.
Plus, I turned evil.
I'm going to get you Nah, I'mjust kidding Shadow dagger.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
He's like, yeah, I've dealt with this before I see
where the wound closed up and Ijust slowly just Nah, I've dealt
with this before.
Speaker 3 (22:40):
I see where the wound closed up and I just slowly
just Not again.
Like no, I'm just kidding,buddy, let's go, well, let's go,
beat the shit out of Kaga.
I guess.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
Yeah, yeah, it feels like she deserves it at this
point.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
I'm not to be rude, but my greens are steamed about
this one.
Your what my greens?
I got real steamed greens.
I'm pretty upset.
Is that a saying we're movingwhile I'm doing?
Speaker 2 (23:02):
this, by the way.
Speaker 3 (23:04):
Man, I'm really miffed.
I've heard that one Really getsmy goat.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
Uh-huh, yep, I get that one too.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
There's something with grits, I'm not sure what.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
Oh no, I want to see where this goes.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
We stopped and we're like hey, buddy, what did you
find out in heaven?
Speaker 3 (23:22):
I also have a brain tumor.
He's like, yeah, Like we'resending him back Also see a
doctor.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
It's one of those things where they're like it's
really like it takes a greaterrestoration to fix a stroke.
Speaker 3 (23:36):
You only got partial coverage.
Just do a quick check.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
How's your left side doing Well?
Speaker 3 (23:42):
it smells like toast, if that helps.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
Just make sure you ask for an itemized bill.
Speaker 1 (23:49):
You guys can make your way into this chamber.
Go ahead and give me perception.
Checks the two of youHistorically good at these.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
Oh, I came back fucking ready, natural 20.
Speaker 3 (24:01):
Let's go 17.
17.
I see everything.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
The boys are back in town.
Yeah, you just hear a sickguitar solo somewhere, like it's
playing that epic battle music.
Speaker 3 (24:13):
The reason I only got less than you is because I put
on sunglasses.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
You guys enter this room, it is full of smoke and
you can almost taste the magicthat's been expelled in this
room, just various sigils andseals bursting their stored
energy around.
You see again the few scatteredcorpses of some cultists and
(24:42):
some of the cultists' monstrouscompanions.
And then, at the far end ofthis chamber, you see Kaga as
she delivers a mighty blow tothe time dragon, the lore worm
as it drops, not dead, but shestands over it, ready to deal a
(25:06):
final killing blow.
Speaker 3 (25:07):
I have done a lot of the big speeches.
You want this one.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
I mean, I'm not much for talking, and it's literally
about to die.
Yeah, I mean it's been good bud.
I know that it seems like weboth have died before.
Speaker 3 (25:20):
Oh, not to me.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
Hey, kaga, fuck you.
She turns, she just looks.
How many times do I have tokill you two?
Speaker 3 (25:31):
One more.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
All right, go ahead and roll initiative.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
Not as exciting, you ready.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
Yeah, 13.
13.
All right, though not bad, notbad.
Uh, 16, all right.
She delivers a boot to the faceof the the lore worm, just kind
of leaving it stunned therewith that boot to the face.
She turns to face you two, justkind of pops her neck, picks up
(26:00):
her blood axe from the groundwhere she left it, stores the
dagger in her belt and then justwordlessly charges at you 30.
Does that hit Chester what?
Speaker 2 (26:13):
Yes, also, is it just her, or is it like her, with a
bunch of cultists?
Just her, just her, just her.
Speaker 3 (26:19):
Okay, please don't Help, don't help.
I was just asking.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
And a 24?
.
Speaker 3 (26:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
Both of those hit.
Speaker 3 (26:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
I'm sorry, it's just fun for me, what do you mean?
Speaker 3 (26:30):
Just fun for?
Speaker 1 (26:30):
me All right, it's a D12 plus 14.
Speaker 3 (26:35):
Yeah, I got an 18.
18's pretty good.
I don't have shield cast on meor nothing, Just goddammit yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
All right.
She swings at you and like ablow that if you were still the
Chester that she dispatched witha dagger thrust would have hurt
so much, Axe bites into you andyou almost just don't notice it
(27:05):
, you'll take six points ofdamage.
You see a look of frustrationand shock on her face.
That second sword swing comesin and it deals 11 damage.
Speaker 3 (27:15):
All right chester, what do you want to do?
Uh, I'm going to.
Is there anything like a chair,a table or anything around me,
like within, like grabbingdistance?
Speaker 1 (27:25):
yeah, there's uh definitely some smashed
furniture that you could grab tomake a improvised weapon I
would like to grab a table leg.
Speaker 3 (27:31):
What's the damage on like a table leg?
Speaker 1 (27:33):
we'll make it a club, um, so it would be a.
You're gonna use it one-handedor two-handed?
Uh, two-handed okay, we'lltreat it like a mall, so it'd be
a d12 or 2d6.
Speaker 3 (27:41):
I'm sorry, okay so first attack we're gonna go
ahead with does a 29 hit?
Sure does 31.
And then last one ooh, 17, yeah, oh, all right.
So I'm gonna use my scofflawstuff at 10th level uh, which we
got big mad ups from the uh,fade the fade dragon, the fade
(28:02):
lady on a hit I get to exploitthe target's defenses, dealing
5d6 points damage on use of thisability.
Can't use again until they takea short long rest.
Okay, no, I don't want to dothat oh, okay, you don't have to
, I'm not not going to.
I have to find the.
That's the one cool thing about.
When you level up, you justhave all this new stuff, all
(28:22):
right.
First hits for 27 damage Okay.
And then the second hits for 15damage Okay.
And then the third hits for 15damage.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
All right, so that's 57 points of damage in that
first three attacks with a tableleg.
Okay, so you just take that andyou just smash that on her.
You see as, uh, you bash herwith that, that piece of
furniture three times, she turnsand locks eyes with you and, uh
(28:55):
, you actually see respect andalso, uh, her face.
You've drawn a couple lines ofblood.
You've never actually seen kagabesides when that staff went
off in her face like bleed herown blood.
Ekram, what do you want to do?
Speaker 2 (29:09):
okay, as this is going down, I try and get her
attention and I say hey kaga andyeah and just in that tone yeah
, well, kind of like in a snarkytone like this is kind of like
I'm very confident afterliterally coming back what felt
like hell, confronting my otherevil self, feeling this brand
(29:30):
new power and you start to seelike your hell was pretty chill
dude, yeah, I mean, it was likea void black nothingness, you
know.
And and flames start to spark inmy hand and when she looks over
I'll say I hope you feel everybit of this, and I snap my
finger and cast immolation onher.
Okay, what's she got to do?
A dexterity saving throw of 18.
(29:51):
I'm going to go ahead and startrolling my dice.
Speaker 1 (29:55):
Yeah, she fails that.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
Good.
Speaker 1 (30:01):
No, that's too many rolls.
I don't like when it's thisside of the equation for me.
Speaker 3 (30:07):
Yeah, you've been playing Kaga this whole time,
just beating this tar out of us.
Speaker 2 (30:11):
Okay, so I'm going to spend one of my sorcery points
to re-roll three of my sorcerypoints to re-roll three of my
d8s that I got ones on.
Okay, let me add my bonus herereally quick.
This is the most dice I'verolled in a while.
So it looks like she will betaking about 52 points of fire
(30:32):
damage, alright, and she will betaking that basically every
turn.
Wow, okay, you can repeat thesaving throw every turn, though,
okay, and then with that, oncethat happens, I will hold up my
other hand and I will summon myHound of Ill Omen.
Speaker 1 (30:50):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
Which will go on a bite on her.
I'm assuming a 12 does not hit.
No, all right, cool.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
This is is gonna be fun.
You hear a sound you've neverheard before, which is kaga in
pain.
Yeah, she's not used to this,like she's used to being the one
doing the hurting, and you guyshave just, in one turn, showed
her that she's vulnerable.
She's going to go ahead andtake three.
(31:22):
I'm sorry.
She's going to take one swingat you with the blood axe,
chester, and then she's going totake a punch at you with her
follow-up hand, just like ablind.
Speaker 3 (31:32):
Okay, and it does do an extra 1d6 of fire damage.
Thanks, dog.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
And she also goes into a rage.
Speaker 2 (31:42):
We see her better because she sheds bright light
for 30 feet.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
Oh good 29.
Yep 32.
Speaker 3 (31:51):
I just say yes to all of them.
18?
Yes.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
Okay, damn, yeah, still fun for me.
Uh, all right, you're going totake 10 points of damage and
then the punches.
Okay, that's going to be 8points of bludgeoning damage.
9 points of bludgeoning damage.
Speaker 3 (32:16):
Hey man, we're going to want to make quick work of
this, already, already.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
For those of you at home, don't take a drink when
these two are.
Speaker 3 (32:31):
Combating.
Speaker 1 (32:32):
We're doing so good, and then they're like oh no, but
we also are squishy too.
Speaker 2 (32:36):
I'm doing fine.
The thing is, it's not that I'msquishy.
Speaker 3 (32:39):
I'm just hittable.
Speaker 1 (32:43):
I've seen your face.
I get it.
Was that the end of her turn?
So that is going to be the endof her turn?
Okay, at the end of her turn.
So that is going to be the endof her turn.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
Okay.
At the end of her turn she hasto try and succeed on another
dexterity saving throw or take46 fire damage moving forward
Okay.
Speaker 1 (32:59):
Okay, she's going to fail that.
Okay.
So each turn she's going totake 46.
No new saves.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
Every turn she can try and make that save and on a
fail she takes the 46, which wasonly six damage.
No new saves.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
Every turn.
Speaker 2 (33:14):
She can try and make that save.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
And on a fail she takes the 46, which was only six
damage.
I rolled very low, all right,fantastic.
It's still, damage is damage isdamage.
She just again just threw thesegritted teeth like why won't
you die?
And that's your turn, chester.
Speaker 3 (33:31):
Okay, I'm going to do a couple of cool things.
Hopefully I'm going to go aheadand first I'm going to start
with like a just like quicklygrab like a broken beaker or
like some glass thing and justlike kind of like use it like a
quick attack action to like jamit up in like her ribs and using
my blindside ability.
Speaker 1 (33:51):
Are you going do the liam neeson in the gray thing
where you got just liquorbottles?
No, no, no.
Speaker 3 (33:55):
That was baller though it was very cool gonna
punch wolves, uh, no, uh.
But what I'm gonna do is andthen I'm gonna take a swing and
just kind of like try to likebash it up into her and like
shatter it up into her ribs.
Okay, does a 29 hit.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (34:11):
All right For 22 damage, fantastic.
And then I'm going to I'm goingto go ahead and take another.
Just a pure punch at her, okay,and I'm going to use my infamy
as part of my attack action.
I can cause a target within 30feet to become frightened of me
for one minute on a failedwisdom saving throw.
Okay, I can cause a targetwithin 30 feet to become
frightened of me for one minuteon a failed wisdom saving throw.
(34:33):
An effective target may repeatthis throw at the end of each of
their turns, Ending effects onsuccess.
The DC for the save is 8 plus 5or plus 8 or plus 5.
I don't know what that means.
It's a creature who haswitnessed or heard tales of my
ruthlessness makes adisadvantage if they think I'm
ruthless.
Speaker 1 (34:52):
But I'm like, okay, yeah, she's afraid of you right
now, so she's going to have tospend her action moving away
from you.
Speaker 3 (34:58):
Yeah.
So I hit her with that one andI'm just like it's because I
have no joy in this, there's nolust for this, it is what must
be done.
And then I would like to use myscofflaw and grab another table
leg and break it over her head.
If she tries to start fleeing,I'll activate my Eldritch Claw
tattoos as well.
(35:18):
2032 to hit Yep.
Speaker 1 (35:21):
Okay, so what are all your damages?
Speaker 3 (35:24):
So it's going to be.
Being a fighter at high levelis fun For the damage.
Oh, chat's so low.
Six damage on the explodingtable leg over her, okay.
And then I'm going to Axe andStrange and just take three big
oh plus D6 for the claw, so six,ten total on that one.
And then I'm going to do threequick attacks 24.
(35:47):
Okay, higher and 30.
Okay, higher and 30.
Okay, okay.
So that's going to be 12 plus14 plus 13.
Okay.
Speaker 1 (35:58):
She, yeah, you see her eyes grow wide in fear, as
if she doesn't quite understandhow you've come back and are
able to do this.
Speaker 3 (36:10):
Neither do I.
Speaker 1 (36:13):
I anticipated you'd be confused.
Me to be confused is different.
Ekram, it's your turn.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
Can I make a perception check to see how
she's doing?
Yeah, 17.
She's looking pretty messed up.
She's looking pretty messed up,man.
If I'm just going to do it andhopefully, it works out.
Speaker 3 (36:35):
If not, it's gonna be really embarrassing.
I break the staff of power overmy knee.
Speaker 2 (36:37):
Yeah, I, I duct tape it together and I break it again
.
Um, I will walk up to kaga oruse my, my movement to go up to
her, and then I will reach outand I will grab her and use my
new seventh level spell, fingerof Death.
Okay, and she must make aconstitution saving throw of 18,
(36:59):
which I'm assuming she's prettygood with.
Speaker 1 (37:01):
Yeah, you would think , oh, Except for when you roll
like that.
She had to beat 18?
Speaker 2 (37:07):
Yes, or take half.
Speaker 1 (37:08):
Okay, she'll take half.
Speaker 2 (37:13):
Okay, and I'm at.
Uh, she had to beat 18, yes, ortake half.
Okay, she'll take half, okay,and I'm going to use two more of
my sorcery points to re-rolltwo of these d8s, for you said
it would be halved.
The total damage was 38, okay,okay, is that enough to kill her
?
No, okay, never mind, I won'tsay the cool line, yeah.
It's a bummer oh wait, sorry,it's plus 30 necrotic damage.
Speaker 1 (37:32):
God 38 plus 30?
.
Speaker 2 (37:34):
It was 38 plus 30.
So 68.
Speaker 1 (37:38):
So 68 halved, so 34.
Yes, we're back at her turn.
She kind of looks at you,chester, and see that, just that
fear in her eyes and she turnsto run.
You'll get an opportunityattack here.
Speaker 3 (37:52):
I think it's not too late to quit 29 okay that'll hit
.
Speaker 2 (37:57):
Did she do her dex saving throw at the end of her
last?
Speaker 1 (38:00):
19.
She hasn't gone since that 19damage okay all right, thanks.
Oh, just claw tattoos yeahshe's gonna take that time to
run towards akron, or it's akronI'm gonna take.
Well, I walked up to her to ohwait, holy shit, she's raging.
She can't be frightened, she'sa good actor she's just like
(38:25):
just kind of like I would beafraid of you if you weren't a
dead man.
Speaker 3 (38:31):
Yeah, it hits 30.
Let me know if it hits a one,one or 20.
25.
Yep, one or 20 is the only twooptions.
Speaker 1 (38:37):
Okay, but that's three swings with that axe at
your head.
Yeah, it is dude.
Speaker 2 (38:42):
Also, rebar is the last one I'm trying.
Speaker 1 (38:45):
Oh, she'll re-roll it yeah it's still going to hit.
Damn it.
Speaker 2 (38:48):
It has to be a one, okay, but you got advantage on
your next attack, buddy.
Speaker 1 (38:53):
Get her You're going to take 20 points of damage.
Speaker 3 (38:57):
That's bad, it's not great.
I'm not dead, but that's notgood.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
Okay and then.
Yeah, that's going to be theend of her turn.
Make that saving throw.
Speaker 2 (39:11):
Okay yeah, she fails that again.
Nice Six plus six plus one plusfive, so it's pretty good.
Speaker 1 (39:19):
Yeah, are you going to tell me the math 18.
It's 18.
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (39:24):
Jesus man.
Speaker 1 (39:26):
All right.
Speaker 3 (39:27):
Chester, your turn.
I'm going to go ahead and justgrab something nearby and take a
big swing at her.
Where do you keep findingweapon-shaped stools?
It's in a closet, it's just avery.
Speaker 1 (39:38):
Why did I fight this dragon in an Ikea?
Speaker 3 (39:41):
20?
.
Speaker 1 (39:43):
Yeah, that'll hit.
Speaker 3 (39:44):
Okay, I don't know her stats 24 and then 20 again.
Okay, so it's going to be 10,12, 14, 11.
Okay, it's not too late.
Don't make us do this.
Speaker 1 (39:58):
Ekrem, it's your turn .
Speaker 3 (40:02):
Back to me, it's fast , but I just have to hit three
buttons Punch, punch, punch.
Speaker 2 (40:09):
I'm going to use Psychic Lance.
Okay, so she needs to make asaving throw of intelligence for
18.
I was like, well, I triedConstitution.
She's kind of beefy, so I'mgoing to hit her in the brain
Good job.
Speaker 3 (40:23):
She got a brain Ekrum Get it 18.
Speaker 2 (40:26):
Ain't that a kick in the dick?
I'm not gonna do that.
Instead I'm gonna do fireboltstick with your psychic yeah, so
she's gonna take half.
Total damage was 30, so 15 shelets out a cry as her.
Speaker 1 (40:43):
she reaches to grasp her head and she drops uh, as
you've shattered her mind Withthat, you've defeated Kaga.
Her unconscious, lifeless bodyis there on the floor.
You two sprint towards the timedragon and see it still
(41:08):
breathing.
Speaker 2 (41:09):
That was going to be a make sure she's dead moment.
You know you want to double tap.
Speaker 3 (41:15):
I was thinking about it I'm like you got the uh go
put your uh good healing help onher, I'll uh.
Speaker 2 (41:21):
Or on the time dragon , I'll be uh I only get one of
those per long rest, so I can doit in eight hours.
Oh sorry, I had a moment ofclarity there.
I don't know what I just said alittle meta narrative there.
Yeah, yeah, sorry I I used itto to save your life again, oh
yeah, really unappreciativechester, I mean all right, I
(41:43):
didn't know dude, sorry I wasdead.
No, I'll be dramatic.
In the moment I was like I I'msorry I tapped out, I can't well
I just slowly like stand onkaga's neck, just like don't
worry about this yeah, oh, thehealing magic.
Speaker 1 (41:59):
I was like, yeah, all right, I mean, she has this
ability where she'd pop back upat one hit point, uh, but it
really with you standing on herneck she's just like trying to
bite her time.
Be like play possum Kaga playpossum.
Speaker 2 (42:13):
This is why I said make sure she's dead.
Speaker 3 (42:17):
Do you go over to the time, dragon, do I?
Speaker 2 (42:22):
I thought that's where we both went.
Speaker 3 (42:24):
I was going to say, as you go, talk to her, because
it takes a minute to stand onsomeone's neck until they're
dead.
Speaker 2 (42:29):
I was going to ask if you wanted to do the honors or
if you're.
I know you're a bit squeamish,so it's not really glory to grow
I guess it's not really a glorything.
Speaker 3 (42:37):
I'm just gonna make sure this nothing bad happens
over here.
You go see what's up and I willall right.
Speaker 1 (42:42):
Uh, you go run to the time, dragon.
You see?
Uh, shallow breaths, um.
Several superficial wounds dotits body and then one deep gash
seems to be near where its heartwas.
The area around it is fastdecaying Through this luminous
(43:07):
form.
Black lines of rot begin toemanate from that wound.
Her eyes snap open.
She goes Akram, where did youcome from?
Speaker 2 (43:23):
Kind of hell, but right now what's important is
getting you better, because itlooks like you're in very rough
shape.
Speaker 1 (43:31):
Oh yes, well, I've been better, I've also been
worse.
I kind of exist in all pointsof time.
So like my best day is also myworst day.
It's very confusing.
Speaker 2 (43:42):
Yeah, what can I do to help you?
Is there like a secret, likeband-aid, like something?
Speaker 1 (43:50):
Yes, you can help, you can go and fix all of this,
and she goes.
I need you and Chester to makeit to the center of the city, to
(44:11):
the soul of it.
Only there can you set thingsright, and that's where we're
going to end this one.
Speaker 3 (44:20):
Did you say more cardio?
God damn it.
Yeah, All right guys.
Speaker 1 (44:26):
You beat Kaga.
You kept her from having adramatic reveal coming back
Freddy Krueger style at the endbecause you smothered her with a
pillow metaphorically but wherecan we find you guys?
Where can we see you otherwise?
Speaker 3 (44:38):
oh, hi everybody.
I'm Tyson Cox.
You can find me at Tyson Coxcomedy.
Follow me on Instagram.
That's kind of where I posteverything linktree or linktree
slash.
Tyson Cox comedy for all theother stuff.
Speaker 2 (44:49):
All right, my name is Tyler Waltz.
You can find everything I do atmostly YouTube, or also
Instagram and Facebook at NerdNews.
Speaker 1 (44:56):
And you can find me on all of my comedy stuff at
KevinEgglestoncom or at Kevinunderscore egg on the socials.
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