November 20, 2024 • 40 mins
Picture this: a realm where sacrifice leads to unexpected journeys and introspection becomes an adventure in itself. Our story begins with Ekram's selfless act that sends him spiraling into the astral plane, basking in a serene illusion of success. Meanwhile, Chester is left to pick up the pieces in the mortal world after Ekram's explosion—not just of destruction, but of trust and alliances. Kaga Blood Axe's betrayal leaves Chester in a precarious state, battling both his environment and his own vulnerabilities. We traverse a tale of bravery and betrayal, where tension and humor dance in a high-stakes narrative.
Journey with us deeper as we tackle themes of redemption and self-discovery. Chester faces his wounds, both seen and unseen, while Ekram confronts his shadow on a distant, skull-like asteroid. It's a battle of wills and wisdom as Ekram resists the allure of easy power, striving to maintain his integrity amid existential dilemmas. Amid the chaos, laughter echoes through their struggles, reminding us of the lighter side of life's challenges and the complexities of intention and personal growth.
As our tale reaches its climax, humor and tension intertwine with Chester's introspective musings on life choices and resilience. In moments of levity, he lightheartedly compares barbers to old-timey surgeons, even as he clings to life. The episode culminates with gratitude and excitement for our growing community, announcing upcoming live shows and celebrating the conclusion of our first season. Join us for this captivating blend of adventure, introspection, and community engagement, where fantasy meets the relatable challenges of self-acceptance and growth.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Welcome to Monster Monster, a real-play Dungeons
Dragons show featuring comediansplaying your favorite
characters.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
I'm your Dungeon Master, Kevin Eggleston, joined
by Hi, I'm Tyson Cox and I playChester Blackfield.
Who's never gonna get hurt toobad.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Alright, yeah, and I'm Ekram.
I rocketed myself into the voidlast time, so we're going to
see how that goes, yeah forthose of you just joining us,
what the heck it's been like 18episodes.
Get caught up.
At least listen to the last one.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Yeah, but in our last journey, Ekram made a heroic
sacrifice to stall or thwart theadvances of the Cult of the
Unseeing Eye by shattering hisstaff of power.
He did.
And accidentally launchinghimself into the astral plane
where he now is drifting in thevoid.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
Kaga turns out she's kind of a jerk.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Yes, kaga turns out she's kind of a jerk.
Yes, kaga, the one-timehenchman associate lackey,
personal assistant PA futurefriend of the time, dragon the
loreworm has turned out to be abetrayer Again.
Having to relive her life overand over again every time has
driven her slightly insane andshe has turned against her
(01:28):
former associates.
All right, you guys ready tostart?
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
Ekrem, you're drifting in the astral void,
this plane, this liminal space,somewhere that exists between
consciousness andunconsciousness.
In the distance you seetwinkling what look like stars,
but based on your kind ofunderstanding of the astral
plane, it's just as likely to bestars as it is entire
(01:59):
consciousnesses or other astralbeings.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
I throw my hands behind my head and I kick back
and cross my legs and I go.
Well, ekram, you did it.
You saved everybody and nothingbad's happening on the other
side, where you left everyone wecut to chester spitting teeth
out.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
There's a smoking crater in the halls of the lore
worm.
You see the scattered remainsand body parts of several
cultists and as the smoke clearsyou see the muscled and, in
this case, very angry face ofone Kaga blood axe.
(02:45):
Looks like plaster and bits ofmasonry have cut into her a
little bit, but she is not evennoticing it.
You see a chunk of some woodenprobably piece of furniture that
had come off and slammed intoher shoulder, put a big old
piece of a big old splinter intoher shoulder and she just kind
(03:06):
of nonchalantly pulls it out I'dlike to do a quick perception
check to see if I can see anylike bits of uh ekram, because I
don't know what.
I don't know what just happenedokay, go ahead and give me that
perception.
Check uh, 22, 22, ooh roll good22.
You see, as you are kind oflooking over there, what's
(03:28):
interesting is you see the areaaround this explosion.
You see stonework has beencracked as if like something
forceful blew out of that.
But you also see around thatinitial area is like a perfect
sphere.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
As if you're like just parts of this place
disappeared.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
I thought it was going to be like after a nuclear
bomb, where you just see theshadow.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
You just see just Ekrem's like force ghost.
Speaker 3 (03:59):
Oh no, we got bought out by Disney.
God, I wish Get at us Big D.
Wait a minute, oh.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
Yeah, as you kind of are looking around, kind of
collecting your senses, you justfeel Kylo Rush forward, grab
you and just pick you upone-handed by your throat It'll
be okay.
Yeah, this time it will be okay.
(04:32):
And she takes the dagger fromyour hand, the one that she had
trusted you with to kill thelore worm.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
Yeah, strength check.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
You can give me a strength check.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
I'm not going out without trying Nine.
Nine's good Nine, do it.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
You do that thing, I'm just for the viewers at home
.
You remember that reallyuncomfortable scene in Saving
Private Ryan.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
Oh no.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Where that guy just slowly lowers that bayonet into
the other person.
Yeah, it's like that, but a lotfaster.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
Oh okay, she's just like you, didn't provide any
resistance.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
So.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
I got stabbed.
It's called stabbing.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Yeah, it was like you did that thing where you're
like no, no, and she's like bet.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
Hard cut to Ekrem, God.
I'm glad I saved everybody.
I bet Chester's so happy rightnow.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
What was your hit points at before we started?
Speaker 3 (05:44):
this oh, it's not great.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
Okay, okay, yeah.
So you're starting to feel yourlifeblood spill out of you.
She pulls that dagger free andbegins walking into the chamber
of the lore worm.
Now the defenses have been kindof shattered.
It looks like it's almost justher left.
All the other cultists for themoment have been blown to
(06:08):
smithereens or chillingsomewhere in the void with Ekram
.
They're just like one of theguys, like hey I think we did it
guys.
Firebolt, he's just chilling.
He's like hey, this is actuallynot that.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Ow, you're having such a good time and I'm just
like he's like hey, this isactually not that, ow, you're
having such a good time.
And I'm just like I think Isaved everybody.
I'm like, yeah, my name will bein the history books.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
All right, we cut back to Ekrem, as you are
drifting in this astral planereally quick.
What's your intelligence?
Speaker 2 (06:43):
Phenomenal as a charisma-based character.
What's your intelligence?
Phenomenal as a charisma basedcharacter?
Speaker 3 (06:46):
it's definitely yeah, it's a plus one.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
I forgot.
I made my wisdom minus one, notmy intelligence, so slightly
smarter than the average boy.
I just don't know what to dowith it.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
Yes, yeah, well, thanks.
Then I made it feel like everygifted kid in the reader's
program in middle school.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
now, I was never part of that actually.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
Okay, well, I was, and look where it got me.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
DMing a podcast the same room as me.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
You notice at first.
You see what looks like theonly piece of solid mass you can
see around you floating in thiskind of this gaseous void is
stardust or things like thisswirls around you.
It looks like the only piece ofsolid matter you've seen, like
this chunk of asteroid.
On it you see a strangetwinkling, as if something's
(07:39):
trying to get your attention,almost like somebody's giving
you like a signal mirror.
If it was like a shipwreck orsomething.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
It's like, oh well, I wasn't expecting anybody else
on this voyage, I'll floattoward.
Okay, I'll swim.
What do you do?
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Right as you try to make that move.
You realize, uh, you try tomove your feet and you try to
dog paddle.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
And you realize, uh, go ahead and give me an arcana
check.
It's like this, like outerspace where I could fart, and
that's the yes, uh, the astralplane.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
It puts the ass in astral nice.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
What check did you say?
Speaker 3 (08:14):
yeah, arcana I know joke was gonna say like he's
being kind of a jerk.
He's really putting the ass inastral earlier.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
Yeah, but man yeah, no, it's, it's.
It's one that lends itself tostuff a lot it very viable, do
you?
Think the astral plane is whereUranus is located right now.
All right.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
Anyways, Tyler, what'd you get 11.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
In this moment you flash back to your wizard
schooling teacher.
That was like Ekrem.
If you're ever stranded in theastral plane, here's what you.
And then it goes static, yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
Boo.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Oh right, I didn't listen, yeah you realize, uh,
physically you can't do anythingto move um, but almost as if
you think it, you feel yourselfmoving.
So you realize fairly quicklywith a little bit of
experimentation thought is whatdrives the astral plane.
Your intelligence determineshow successful you are in here,
(09:09):
your strength of will and allthat stuff I'm gonna do slightly
better than average.
This is great, yeah, no, it's uhit's gonna take a while with
think real hard about thatasteroid, yeah, but we're
getting there, yeah.
So you uh begin driftingtowards that asteroid as you
do're getting there, yeah, soyou begin drifting towards that
asteroid.
As you do, you notice, theflashing becomes a little bit, a
(09:32):
little bit more consistent.
You realize it's kind of likeyou're starting to piece
together a message.
Go ahead and make anintelligence check for me, just
flat intelligence.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
Just flat.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
Intelligence 11 you feel slightly better than
average yeah, you uh told youyou recognize some of it.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
You realize this is kind of almost a form of like
fantasy morse code and againyou've flashed to your survival
teacher, being like ak Ekrem.
If you're ever stranded withsomebody flashing Morse code at
you, fantasy style, you justknow that deet, deet, deet, deet
deet, deet, deet, deet, deet is, and I'm sitting there, I'm
like I don't think I went toschool, not any ingredients.
(10:15):
Yeah, you just all of a suddenhave a bunch of jingles in your
head from like other products.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
You're like mentos mentads I don't remember that,
but I definitely know the phonenumber if I need a new carpet I
know all these places that makefreshly baked bagels.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
All right, we cut to chester.
You fall to the ground, yourlifeblood spilling out.
Go ahead and make that firstdeath saving throw for me.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
Oh no, I just went from.
All right, I gotta, I gottakill myself real fast yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
We all saw that one coming, didn't we guys?
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (11:00):
Oh, live on air, exciting yeah All right the
first death saving throw.
Like an exposed politician,real Bud Dwyer right here.
Deep cut references.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
I'm so glad none of these will make it 18.
Fantastic, you try to stop thatbleeding.
You feel like an inner strength, a rage, like it's not even
rage.
You're just determined.
At this point, you, with thepulse of your heart that you can
(11:36):
feel now, as the blood isleaving your body, you kind of
neat you see in front of you, uh, a female character, or female
character oh yeah, yeah, reallygiving the meta here.
Uh, you see a female figure cladin black armor, her body just
(11:58):
covered in just daggers andthrowing knives, and she steps
towards you.
She leans down and just sayswhy, I can't believe I ever let
somebody as pitiful as you killme.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
Sorry about that, wait, am I dead Wait?
Speaker 1 (12:24):
You're not dead yet, chester.
Okay, but you will be if youdon't get up.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
What if I take a quick nap?
Rule say just a short rest.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
Yeah, getting kind of cold.
I feel like I just need to takea little nap.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
How many times did you sleep after a fight, after
you got hit real good in thehead?
Speaker 3 (12:46):
Me or Chester?
Are they different answers?
Speaker 2 (12:51):
One should be never the other question mark.
In season two we got to work onyour character creation.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Yeah, we're putting a little too much of the self in
the soup, you know.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
The kids say you're bumming us out soup.
You know, yeah, the kids sayyou're bumming us out.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
I mean, I've never been in a fight, but I've fallen
off bikes Anyways.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
Well, that's just fighting yourself riding, I
guess, fought earth with my head.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
Sorry, you said.
How does it feel to?
Sorry, I honestly didn't meanto.
How does it feel to?
I'm sorry, I honestly didn'tmean to.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
Oh no, she was saying you gotta get up.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
Yeah, you gotta get up.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
Sorry, you went too far back, Did we?
Speaker 2 (13:36):
do it, yep.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
I typically do, and I go to stand up Really like
squeeze the wound.
I typically do and I go tostand up, okay, really like
squeeze the wound, put pressureon the wound, I guess.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
Just squeeze the wound.
I milk it.
I milk my thorax wound.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
Just really get up in that wound.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
See, the problem is all the blood in me.
It's weighing me down.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
I'm just going to get some of this blood out If I
make my inside blood, outsideblood problem solved.
Yeah, so you're going to bestill doing this?
She leans down and cups yourface in her hands and pulls your
(14:24):
eyes up to her and you see infront of you killer number one,
a person.
The last time you saw you hadaccidentally murdered her.
Speaker 3 (14:38):
Hey, I really am sorry about that.
That was never my intention.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
She just looks at you and she says Chester, our
intentions seldom matter, it'susually the outcomes, the only
thing we care about.
Speaker 3 (14:55):
Well, yeah, I reckon I got a bit more to do,
Hopefully.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
We cut to Ekrem.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
God, I'm so scared right now, but at least I have
peace in knowing Chester's okay.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
Fun how this one continues a trend of Chester
just bleeding out while Ekrem'skind of like I can do some heavy
lifting story-wise.
Speaker 3 (15:21):
This is a pretty good bookend.
He died how he lived.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
Making death saves.
Speaker 3 (15:28):
Bloody, while Ekron was somewhere else.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
You make your way to this asteroid, you notice it
almost has the resembling lookof a skull, covered with just
this growth of stone and almostlike coral-like texture.
It almost seems like it belongsto, like a sea creature
Comforting.
Yeah, you see a flat space witha purple glowing fire on it.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
I will think my way on over Okay.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
As you do, you see a figure standing by that fire and
as you approach it, it turns tolook at you and you see your
shadow self.
Oh, damn it.
Speaker 3 (16:24):
I was hoping it was like Bob Vila or something.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
I'm going to think my way past this place.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
No, no, don't, Don't Ekrem, don't go.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
Hear me out, I know you've been.
I literally have no otheroption at this point.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
No, do you see anyone else around?
This is what I have to do toget a little bit of your
attention.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
I did this.
You're not taking this from me.
I saved my best friend.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Yeah, you saved him.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
Yeah.
He's doing fine, I know I savedhim.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
I could show you him right now.
Do you want to see him?
No, I'm confident I'm nottaking any of your deals.
Man.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
No, because you're going to try and fool me into
thinking he's dying.
So I accept your stupid gift,but I know he's fine.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
You always were a real plus one intelligence kind
of guy.
Yeah, akram, we I've tried tobargain with you.
I've tried to barter.
I think now I should just tellyou the truth.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
You didn't think that was smart.
Off the rip.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
Well, I really honestly kind of like look at
your past bud.
Were you really in a space totrust?
Speaker 2 (17:59):
No, but I don't think lying at the top of a
relationship is a good way tobuild that trust.
Because now, how do I know?
Speaker 1 (18:04):
Just because you said it's the truth this time it's
like, oh well, he wouldn't tellme that if he was lying again, I
guess maybe I need to trust youto handle the truth and you
need to just have a little bitof faith that I won't lie this
time.
Hmm, alright, as he's talkingto you, go ahead and give me an
(18:30):
insight check.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
It's a natural one.
It was a natural one.
Is it a zero?
You rolled a zero.
It's a natural one.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
That's a wisdom.
Is it a zero?
You rolled a zero.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
It's a wisdom skill.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:48):
All right, I'll trust him, you know counter to
everything you've ever told me.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
You're right.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
You feel like he actually is coming clean with
you this time I have to.
Speaker 3 (19:02):
I rolled a nat 1.
Mathematically it says so yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
Chester is going to be okay, I know I saved him.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
But you've got to get back to him quick.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
I mean I definitely plan on getting back to him for
sure I want to help you withthat.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
I bet you do.
I really I do.
I can honestly say I neveranticipated you turning down
power at every opportunity.
It almost makes me proud of youKind of, in the way you see
(19:50):
somebody doing something reallydumb but you're like, damn,
they're doing it on their own.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
Thanks.
I don't know how to respond tothis.
I guess I'm just kind of likestill listening to hear where
the butt is going to be, youknow, because, like every time
that he's tried to bargain withme before, it's always like I'll
bet you need me now.
So I'm waiting for, like, theflip on his inch.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
The thing is, ekrem, you can't do this with who you
are now, but you can do it withthe person.
You can be watched.
You struggle and fight and tryto use darkness and a person's
(20:48):
own fears against them, and Iwonder what do you think would
happen if you embrace thoseparts about you that you use
against everyone else?
Speaker 2 (21:04):
Well, if I'm being honest with myself, I fear that
it would teeter that linebetween the absolute power,
corrupting absolutely.
And as long as I keep myself incheck and keep my emotions
under control, I can utilizethese abilities without making
them exploitive.
So, quite frankly, I've beendenying your power up to this
point, to prove a point tomyself that I do have the
(21:25):
self-control I've always wanted.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
And you've done remarkable.
I watched you, I picked you,I've put you in this place and
every time you've resisted, justtaking the easy path.
(21:56):
And he steps into the light ofthe fire and as he does, that
kind of shadowy self of youvanishes and you're just left
looking at, in this case, anexact copy of yourself, and he
goes.
(22:19):
I think it's easier for you tosee me this way than how I
really am, but just know I'mvery glad you're one of the
city's protectors and he holdsout a hand to you.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
Back to Chester, yeah , chester.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
Make that second death saving throw.
You kind of do this thing whereyou're trying to pick yourself
up as if you're trying to leanagainst the weight of this woman
.
Where you're trying to pickyourself up as if you're trying
to lean against the weight ofthis woman and you just kind of
fall as you realize she'sincorporeal.
You fall through her, hittingyour face on the ground.
Speaker 3 (23:11):
I slipped on some of the bad blood I had inside my
body.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
Well, that's taking damage.
So you just failed.
Two more deaths, shut up, thenyou're dead.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
Chester, I'm not here like that.
Speaker 3 (23:27):
You live on in my heart, you're right.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
Yeah, the one that has a dagger In it, big guy.
Speaker 3 (23:32):
I mean, she took it back.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
Yeah, no, they usually do.
It seemed like it was verypotent.
Chester, if we would havefought I mean really fought do
you think you would have won?
Speaker 3 (23:48):
No, you would have whipped the tits off me.
Is that a phrase?
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Don't be offensive before you die I mean this is
all in your head, so I guess youthought it as a phrase.
I mean this is all in your head, so I guess you thought it as a
phrase.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
Chester, why do you think I would have beat you?
Because you're killer numberone.
You're the best killer.
Like, you're very good at it.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
No, that's very nice.
Speaker 3 (24:24):
I appreciate that she was good at it.
You no, that's very nice, shewas good at it.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
yeah, you're not here , shut up shit, I was the best
at it, but you know how I gotthat way uh practice.
Yeah, murder, murder practice,no, but also, I had to want it.
I wanted it more than anythingI'd ever wanted.
(24:47):
And when you took that swing atme I could see in your eyes you
didn't want any of this.
Speaker 3 (24:55):
Nope, you're very good at reading people as well.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
Yeah, very good at reading the room.
Well, yeah, very good atreading the room, not so much at
finding the stool behind me.
Speaker 3 (25:04):
Yeah, well, I may have come back from the future.
I'm not sure exactly if it wasreal or not, but Chester, what
did you want?
An easy life.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
And what have you been given?
Speaker 3 (25:26):
Well, it could be worse, I'm sure.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
How Would you have two stab wounds, big guy?
Speaker 3 (25:32):
Yep, I mean, that is worse.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
Kaga runs back in the room.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
Oh, thank you.
Oh gosh, I was sweating.
I was like, if he doesn't.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
Hey, what the shit?
Yeah, give you another one, youbig old dum-dum.
Speaker 3 (25:48):
You see, things were better just a minute ago.
It can always be Never mind.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
The Lord Dragon's like oh, fuck man.
Oh, you wanted an easy life andyou've never had that From your
childhood to a failed marriage.
I wasn't married, exactly yourwife says I don't even think I
(26:18):
was married to him.
I just forget about him all thetime.
And here you are.
Speaker 3 (26:26):
Bleeding out, dying a man that's never been married.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
I know that's even more sad than if you had a wife
that left you somehow.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
Cut to Ekrem.
You know what I'm going to behonest with when I get back, and
I'm just going to let him knowthat he never had a wife.
Speaker 1 (26:40):
I never had a wife, I never had a wife sheep the only
thing that you've ever donethat surprised me is that you
didn't just lay down and dieeach time you'd been hit, beat.
(27:02):
Is that you didn't just laydown and die each time You'd
been hit, beat, stabbed, set onfire?
You were humiliated by a pieceof armor.
Speaker 3 (27:12):
In my defense, I did get poisoned because my
companion tripped a trap.
Speaker 1 (27:17):
And yet every time you got back up.
Why won't this time be anydifferent, chester?
Speaker 3 (27:28):
well, I reckon it won't be any different.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
I'm I'm doing pretty good she looks it's just a
puddle of blood under you.
She's like chester you'retalking to a hallucination, a
blood loss induced hallucination.
How do you think?
It's like Chester, you'retalking to a hallucination, a
blood loss induced hallucination.
How do you think it's going?
Speaker 3 (27:45):
It just cuts out and I'm just like on my knees Just
slowly drooling blood.
Speaker 1 (27:50):
Just one cultist walking in there, just being
like I don't know what we'resupposed to do.
Is he okay?
They're just like.
You know what, Just walk, Keepwalking.
He's.
You know, it's all sort itselfout.
Um, one of them slides you, uh,like a cookie and a juice box.
Speaker 3 (28:09):
It's just like yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
I know that it was about the best I can do Go ahead
and give yourself a go aheadand make a medicine check, Just
for like what you think'shappening to yourself.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
That's a pretty hearty plus zero.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
So ooh, does a six work?
I'm good dude.
You're still playing the gameof like bad blood's coming out,
good blood's gonna go in at somepoint, right.
Speaker 3 (28:32):
Yeah, I haven't seen a barber in years, hence being
bald, but also this is what theywould do.
I have less blood.
Speaker 2 (28:40):
Duh, what does that?
Speaker 1 (28:42):
have to do with a barber.
Barbers used to be old-timeysurgeons, oh.
Speaker 2 (28:45):
Huh.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
Yeah, he passed a real-life history check there.
Speaker 3 (28:48):
Yeah, I didn't.
Oh, sorry guys.
Tyson dumb.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
I was so confused.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
No, it's just weird that you know the history of
barbers.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
I know a lot of weird stuff.
It is ironic.
I know a lot of weird stuff.
It is ironic.
I mean, if we're being real, Ishould have been the one that
knew.
Speaker 3 (29:06):
More of a stylist, I think.
Speaker 2 (29:08):
Yeah, alright, we cut to Ekrem.
God, I'm glad my buddy's okay.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
Every time.
We cut back to Ekrem on theasteroid.
The purified looking version ofyourself has his hand extended
to you.
He just says Ekrem, I want tohelp.
All you have to do is take myhand.
(29:38):
No strings, no more bargains,Just my help.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
I'm still having a really hard time deciding
whether this thing is actuallyevil or not, so I'm very
conflicted.
You know what?
Speaker 1 (29:57):
No, okay, I've made it this far on my own, and
copping out right at the endfeels completely against who I
am.
Okay, so you rejected him.
I do.
Uh, how's that look?
Are you just like get?
Speaker 2 (30:16):
fucked nerd and I just and I just float Birds up.
I mean, once again, I can bevery dramatic about this.
I think I will be very dramaticabout this.
Can I stealthily summon myshadow dagger?
Sure, is that just sleight ofhand?
(30:36):
Yeah, 13.
Good thing.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
I've got inspiration okay you see his face twist into
this like mask of rage.
You've refuted him a final timeso he saw me.
He just again just like justanimosity to you, stupid little
(31:15):
shit.
You'll doom entire worlds forthe sake of your pride and he's
gonna take a lunge at you you'regonna make two roles here.
You've got your shadow daggerstealthed out.
Ok, you can make an attack role.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
And then you're also going to make a charisma saving
throw.
Speaker 2 (31:36):
Okay, which one do you want first?
Whichever one you want to giveme first.
Okay, the attack roll was onlyan 11.
Okay, the charisma saving throwis a 16.
Okay.
Speaker 1 (31:51):
His hands latch onto you for a second.
You feel shadowy tendrilsseeping into your skin.
That icy coldness that you feltin the shadow fell, that both
felt like home and also feltvery wrong Sinking into you.
But you assert your belief.
(32:15):
You are Ekrem.
You have said no all your lifeand everyone thought Ekrem is
just being obstinate, but in theend you've been resolute this
entire time.
You feel those shadows beingpushed out, that ASMR nature on
(32:38):
yours, that shadowy self thatyou summon, actually this time
bursts into a radiant light anddrives him back at the same time
as you drive your daggerforward into his chest, piercing
through his robes and strikingat his heart.
You see that rage and hate turnhis heart.
You see that rage and hate turninto agony and then he slumps
(33:06):
to the ground dead.
Speaker 2 (33:13):
Almost melting.
No final words no yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
Hey man, ekrem's going to be like this too.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
Or not, Ekrem.
Speaker 3 (33:22):
Chester whichever one , the one you care about most,
chester more like chest wound,am I right?
Speaker 2 (33:29):
Right before the light leaves his eyes.
I just want to look at him andI want to go just to let you
know you never stood a chance.
I want that to be the lastthing he hears.
Let you know you never stood achance.
I want that to be the lastthing he hears.
Okay, that's cold.
It is Fuck this guy.
He's dead.
What's he gonna do about it?
Speaker 1 (33:46):
From behind you.
You just hear a slow kind ofclap.
Speaker 2 (33:51):
Thank you, cultists, it's me.
Speaker 3 (33:56):
Still gonna get you.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
You did pretty good there.
I'm proud of you, akram.
You didn't have to say no, butyou did.
Every time you turn and you seePewter.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
Oh shit.
Speaker 1 (34:13):
How's it?
Speaker 2 (34:13):
going.
Speaker 1 (34:15):
You know it's pretty good.
You've been here a while Longerthan you would know.
Speaker 2 (34:22):
Oh yeah, how does time work here?
Is it like way slower, wayfaster?
Has it been like 100 years?
In the real world we?
Speaker 1 (34:27):
spent about two death saving throws for you.
I was about to say so about 12seconds.
Speaker 2 (34:32):
You haven't been back so you don't know.
Those are dumb questions.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
That's on me.
She know I've be honest withyou, kid.
Speaker 2 (34:43):
I've always been here well, if I have to be
completely honest, if I wouldhave known that you were here a
bit sooner I believe that wasour only way out I might have
said yes to help both of us.
I I thought it was likeself-sacrifice part two, but now
I kind of feel bad.
Speaker 1 (35:02):
No, ekrem, there's Nothing's ever unsolvable.
No trap is unbreakable, noplane is inescapable.
And Pewter trots up to you, herlittle dwarven-mailed hand,
just reaching out to you hey,you want to go home, bud.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
Yeah, yeah, that sounds pretty great.
Speaker 1 (35:28):
We cut to Chester.
Speaker 3 (35:31):
Please don't use the word cut.
Speaker 1 (35:33):
We stabbed to Chester I was like does this feel
better, chester, go ahead andgive me another death saving
throw.
Speaker 3 (35:47):
Oh, you fucking kidding me One.
Speaker 2 (35:51):
Like a natural one.
Speaker 3 (35:52):
Yes, that makes three fails.
Chester, that makes three fails.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
Chester.
You go to stand, just willpowerand grit as you almost rise.
Then you drop to one arm.
You look up and you see thekiller in front of you.
(36:24):
She just says, chester, I wishyou would have done a little bit
better, but just know, in theend I'm proud of you for always
getting up bud and you feeleverything go cold.
(36:52):
Before everything fades out, Ijust look up at the killer and
I'm just like well, well, Iguess it had to happen someday
the last thing you see is asmall child holding hands with
the killer, her bright clothescontrasting with the black armor
(37:20):
of the killer, and then youfade to darkness.
That's where we're going to endthis one, guys.
Speaker 2 (37:34):
Damn Real yin and yang here.
Speaker 1 (37:37):
Man to be so close to succeeding alright that's the
end of this episode, but it'snot the end of our adventures,
guys we're going to it's so goodat the home stretch to be like,
hey, so roll, a new character.
This one's going to be.
Speaker 3 (37:58):
Hester.
You guys meet at thehomestretch to be like hey, so
roll, a new character.
This one's going to be Hester.
You guys meet at the tavern.
He's got a lot of hair, nomustache.
Speaker 1 (38:04):
It's just oddly reversed.
It's like Chewbacca, but with acutout where the mustache
should go.
Speaker 2 (38:11):
I thought you were going to go more absurdly, like
just mutton chops, oh man.
Speaker 3 (38:15):
That is super cool.
This is why God doesn't let megrow facial hair because I think
mutton chops are super coolalright.
Speaker 1 (38:21):
Where can we find you guys?
Where can we see you?
Speaker 3 (38:23):
you can find me at Tyson Cox Comedy follow me on
Instagram at Tyson Cox Comedyand I travel and do shows.
You can find me thatinformation through my Instagram
at Tyson Cox Comedy my name isTyler Waltz.
Speaker 2 (38:34):
You can find everything I do at Nerd News or
Nerd News Network and I'm KevinEggaltz.
Speaker 1 (38:40):
You can find everything I do at nerd news or
nerd news network.
And I'm kavin agleston.
You can find me at all thingscomedy with kavin aglestoncom or
at kavin underscore egg on allthe socials, bye tyson here,
just wanted to say thank you toeveryone that's listened so far.
Speaker 3 (38:53):
We're wrapping up the first season and we got some
big things in store coming downthe pipeline, but honestly, it's
super cool that we are steadilygrowing in listeners and we get
to do these live shows andpeople are subscribing to the
Patreon, speaking of which,scott, thank you for subscribing
to the Patreon.
I know you come to live showsand you're a super cool guy, so
I appreciate that as well.
(39:14):
Speaking of live shows, we dohave our regularly scheduled
live shows.
If you're listening to thistoday, it drops thursday, the
21st of november.
We are at commonwealth, whichis right outside of cincinnati.
Then on the 4th of december, weare at planet of the tapes, and
the 10th of december we areback at our starting ground, the
(39:37):
White Rabbit Cabaret.
But we have a fun specialMonster Monster at Game Master
Games December 13th inPittsburgh.
It's a super cool game shop.
The owner is this amazing dude.
It's crazy.
He was so awesome to talk to,so check us out there.
So we're all over, and then wehave our other episode.
I'll get to that later.
I won't waste any more of your.
(39:58):
So check us out there.
So we're all over and then wehave our other episode with
Russell.
I'll get to that later.
I won't waste any more of yourtime.
Thank you again, everybody.
If you liked it, please like,share, subscribe, all that jazz.
And with that out of the way,please enjoy the outro by Robert
Smallburn.
I just want to, I just want toroll, I just want to, I just
want to, I just want to roll.
I just wanna roll, I just wanna, I just wanna, I just wanna
(40:18):
roll At 20 on that troll hitthat shit like pretty gold.
I just wanna, I just wanna roll, I just wanna, I just wanna
roll, I just wanna, I just wanna.
I just wanna roll With that.
Level 30's gold got me holdingall this gold.
Speaker 1 (40:33):
I just wanna, I just wanna, I just wanna, I just
wanna, I just wanna, I justwanna, I just want em, I just
want em, I just want em, I justwant em, I just want em, I just
want em.
Speaker 2 (40:42):
I just want to roll that 20 on that troll.
Hit that shit like Fritico.
Welcome to Monster Monster, a real-play Dungeons
Dragons show featuring comediansplaying your favorite
characters.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
I'm your Dungeon Master, Kevin Eggleston, joined
by Hi, I'm Tyson Cox and I playChester Blackfield.
Who's never gonna get hurt toobad.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Alright, yeah, and I'm Ekram.
I rocketed myself into the voidlast time, so we're going to
see how that goes, yeah forthose of you just joining us,
what the heck it's been like 18episodes.
Get caught up.
At least listen to the last one.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Yeah, but in our last journey, Ekram made a heroic
sacrifice to stall or thwart theadvances of the Cult of the
Unseeing Eye by shattering hisstaff of power.
He did.
And accidentally launchinghimself into the astral plane
where he now is drifting in thevoid.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
Kaga turns out she's kind of a jerk.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Yes, kaga turns out she's kind of a jerk.
Yes, kaga, the one-timehenchman associate lackey,
personal assistant PA futurefriend of the time, dragon the
loreworm has turned out to be abetrayer Again.
Having to relive her life overand over again every time has
driven her slightly insane andshe has turned against her
(01:28):
former associates.
All right, you guys ready tostart?
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
Ekrem, you're drifting in the astral void,
this plane, this liminal space,somewhere that exists between
consciousness andunconsciousness.
In the distance you seetwinkling what look like stars,
but based on your kind ofunderstanding of the astral
plane, it's just as likely to bestars as it is entire
(01:59):
consciousnesses or other astralbeings.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
I throw my hands behind my head and I kick back
and cross my legs and I go.
Well, ekram, you did it.
You saved everybody and nothingbad's happening on the other
side, where you left everyone wecut to chester spitting teeth
out.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
There's a smoking crater in the halls of the lore
worm.
You see the scattered remainsand body parts of several
cultists and as the smoke clearsyou see the muscled and, in
this case, very angry face ofone Kaga blood axe.
(02:45):
Looks like plaster and bits ofmasonry have cut into her a
little bit, but she is not evennoticing it.
You see a chunk of some woodenprobably piece of furniture that
had come off and slammed intoher shoulder, put a big old
piece of a big old splinter intoher shoulder and she just kind
(03:06):
of nonchalantly pulls it out I'dlike to do a quick perception
check to see if I can see anylike bits of uh ekram, because I
don't know what.
I don't know what just happenedokay, go ahead and give me that
perception.
Check uh, 22, 22, ooh roll good22.
You see, as you are kind oflooking over there, what's
(03:28):
interesting is you see the areaaround this explosion.
You see stonework has beencracked as if like something
forceful blew out of that.
But you also see around thatinitial area is like a perfect
sphere.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
As if you're like just parts of this place
disappeared.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
I thought it was going to be like after a nuclear
bomb, where you just see theshadow.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
You just see just Ekrem's like force ghost.
Speaker 3 (03:59):
Oh no, we got bought out by Disney.
God, I wish Get at us Big D.
Wait a minute, oh.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
Yeah, as you kind of are looking around, kind of
collecting your senses, you justfeel Kylo Rush forward, grab
you and just pick you upone-handed by your throat It'll
be okay.
Yeah, this time it will be okay.
(04:32):
And she takes the dagger fromyour hand, the one that she had
trusted you with to kill thelore worm.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
Yeah, strength check.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
You can give me a strength check.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
I'm not going out without trying Nine.
Nine's good Nine, do it.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
You do that thing, I'm just for the viewers at home
.
You remember that reallyuncomfortable scene in Saving
Private Ryan.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
Oh no.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Where that guy just slowly lowers that bayonet into
the other person.
Yeah, it's like that, but a lotfaster.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
Oh okay, she's just like you, didn't provide any
resistance.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
So.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
I got stabbed.
It's called stabbing.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Yeah, it was like you did that thing where you're
like no, no, and she's like bet.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
Hard cut to Ekrem, God.
I'm glad I saved everybody.
I bet Chester's so happy rightnow.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
What was your hit points at before we started?
Speaker 3 (05:44):
this oh, it's not great.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
Okay, okay, yeah.
So you're starting to feel yourlifeblood spill out of you.
She pulls that dagger free andbegins walking into the chamber
of the lore worm.
Now the defenses have been kindof shattered.
It looks like it's almost justher left.
All the other cultists for themoment have been blown to
(06:08):
smithereens or chillingsomewhere in the void with Ekram
.
They're just like one of theguys, like hey I think we did it
guys.
Firebolt, he's just chilling.
He's like hey, this is actuallynot that.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Ow, you're having such a good time and I'm just
like he's like hey, this isactually not that, ow, you're
having such a good time.
And I'm just like I think Isaved everybody.
I'm like, yeah, my name will bein the history books.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
All right, we cut back to Ekrem, as you are
drifting in this astral planereally quick.
What's your intelligence?
Speaker 2 (06:43):
Phenomenal as a charisma-based character.
What's your intelligence?
Phenomenal as a charisma basedcharacter?
Speaker 3 (06:46):
it's definitely yeah, it's a plus one.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
I forgot.
I made my wisdom minus one, notmy intelligence, so slightly
smarter than the average boy.
I just don't know what to dowith it.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
Yes, yeah, well, thanks.
Then I made it feel like everygifted kid in the reader's
program in middle school.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
now, I was never part of that actually.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
Okay, well, I was, and look where it got me.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
DMing a podcast the same room as me.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
You notice at first.
You see what looks like theonly piece of solid mass you can
see around you floating in thiskind of this gaseous void is
stardust or things like thisswirls around you.
It looks like the only piece ofsolid matter you've seen, like
this chunk of asteroid.
On it you see a strangetwinkling, as if something's
(07:39):
trying to get your attention,almost like somebody's giving
you like a signal mirror.
If it was like a shipwreck orsomething.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
It's like, oh well, I wasn't expecting anybody else
on this voyage, I'll floattoward.
Okay, I'll swim.
What do you do?
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Right as you try to make that move.
You realize, uh, you try tomove your feet and you try to
dog paddle.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
And you realize, uh, go ahead and give me an arcana
check.
It's like this, like outerspace where I could fart, and
that's the yes, uh, the astralplane.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
It puts the ass in astral nice.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
What check did you say?
Speaker 3 (08:14):
yeah, arcana I know joke was gonna say like he's
being kind of a jerk.
He's really putting the ass inastral earlier.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
Yeah, but man yeah, no, it's, it's.
It's one that lends itself tostuff a lot it very viable, do
you?
Think the astral plane is whereUranus is located right now.
All right.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
Anyways, Tyler, what'd you get 11.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
In this moment you flash back to your wizard
schooling teacher.
That was like Ekrem.
If you're ever stranded in theastral plane, here's what you.
And then it goes static, yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
Boo.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Oh right, I didn't listen, yeah you realize, uh,
physically you can't do anythingto move um, but almost as if
you think it, you feel yourselfmoving.
So you realize fairly quicklywith a little bit of
experimentation thought is whatdrives the astral plane.
Your intelligence determineshow successful you are in here,
(09:09):
your strength of will and allthat stuff I'm gonna do slightly
better than average.
This is great, yeah, no, it's uhit's gonna take a while with
think real hard about thatasteroid, yeah, but we're
getting there, yeah.
So you uh begin driftingtowards that asteroid as you
do're getting there, yeah, soyou begin drifting towards that
asteroid.
As you do, you notice, theflashing becomes a little bit, a
(09:32):
little bit more consistent.
You realize it's kind of likeyou're starting to piece
together a message.
Go ahead and make anintelligence check for me, just
flat intelligence.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
Just flat.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
Intelligence 11 you feel slightly better than
average yeah, you uh told youyou recognize some of it.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
You realize this is kind of almost a form of like
fantasy morse code and againyou've flashed to your survival
teacher, being like ak Ekrem.
If you're ever stranded withsomebody flashing Morse code at
you, fantasy style, you justknow that deet, deet, deet, deet
deet, deet, deet, deet, deet is, and I'm sitting there, I'm
like I don't think I went toschool, not any ingredients.
(10:15):
Yeah, you just all of a suddenhave a bunch of jingles in your
head from like other products.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
You're like mentos mentads I don't remember that,
but I definitely know the phonenumber if I need a new carpet I
know all these places that makefreshly baked bagels.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
All right, we cut to chester.
You fall to the ground, yourlifeblood spilling out.
Go ahead and make that firstdeath saving throw for me.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
Oh no, I just went from.
All right, I gotta, I gottakill myself real fast yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
We all saw that one coming, didn't we guys?
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (11:00):
Oh, live on air, exciting yeah All right the
first death saving throw.
Like an exposed politician,real Bud Dwyer right here.
Deep cut references.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
I'm so glad none of these will make it 18.
Fantastic, you try to stop thatbleeding.
You feel like an inner strength, a rage, like it's not even
rage.
You're just determined.
At this point, you, with thepulse of your heart that you can
(11:36):
feel now, as the blood isleaving your body, you kind of
neat you see in front of you, uh, a female character, or female
character oh yeah, yeah, reallygiving the meta here.
Uh, you see a female figure cladin black armor, her body just
(11:58):
covered in just daggers andthrowing knives, and she steps
towards you.
She leans down and just sayswhy, I can't believe I ever let
somebody as pitiful as you killme.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
Sorry about that, wait, am I dead Wait?
Speaker 1 (12:24):
You're not dead yet, chester.
Okay, but you will be if youdon't get up.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
What if I take a quick nap?
Rule say just a short rest.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
Yeah, getting kind of cold.
I feel like I just need to takea little nap.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
How many times did you sleep after a fight, after
you got hit real good in thehead?
Speaker 3 (12:46):
Me or Chester?
Are they different answers?
Speaker 2 (12:51):
One should be never the other question mark.
In season two we got to work onyour character creation.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Yeah, we're putting a little too much of the self in
the soup, you know.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
The kids say you're bumming us out soup.
You know, yeah, the kids sayyou're bumming us out.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
I mean, I've never been in a fight, but I've fallen
off bikes Anyways.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
Well, that's just fighting yourself riding, I
guess, fought earth with my head.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
Sorry, you said.
How does it feel to?
Sorry, I honestly didn't meanto.
How does it feel to?
I'm sorry, I honestly didn'tmean to.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
Oh no, she was saying you gotta get up.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
Yeah, you gotta get up.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
Sorry, you went too far back, Did we?
Speaker 2 (13:36):
do it, yep.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
I typically do, and I go to stand up Really like
squeeze the wound.
I typically do and I go tostand up, okay, really like
squeeze the wound, put pressureon the wound, I guess.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
Just squeeze the wound.
I milk it.
I milk my thorax wound.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
Just really get up in that wound.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
See, the problem is all the blood in me.
It's weighing me down.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
I'm just going to get some of this blood out If I
make my inside blood, outsideblood problem solved.
Yeah, so you're going to bestill doing this?
She leans down and cups yourface in her hands and pulls your
(14:24):
eyes up to her and you see infront of you killer number one,
a person.
The last time you saw you hadaccidentally murdered her.
Speaker 3 (14:38):
Hey, I really am sorry about that.
That was never my intention.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
She just looks at you and she says Chester, our
intentions seldom matter, it'susually the outcomes, the only
thing we care about.
Speaker 3 (14:55):
Well, yeah, I reckon I got a bit more to do,
Hopefully.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
We cut to Ekrem.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
God, I'm so scared right now, but at least I have
peace in knowing Chester's okay.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
Fun how this one continues a trend of Chester
just bleeding out while Ekrem'skind of like I can do some heavy
lifting story-wise.
Speaker 3 (15:21):
This is a pretty good bookend.
He died how he lived.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
Making death saves.
Speaker 3 (15:28):
Bloody, while Ekron was somewhere else.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
You make your way to this asteroid, you notice it
almost has the resembling lookof a skull, covered with just
this growth of stone and almostlike coral-like texture.
It almost seems like it belongsto, like a sea creature
Comforting.
Yeah, you see a flat space witha purple glowing fire on it.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
I will think my way on over Okay.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
As you do, you see a figure standing by that fire and
as you approach it, it turns tolook at you and you see your
shadow self.
Oh, damn it.
Speaker 3 (16:24):
I was hoping it was like Bob Vila or something.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
I'm going to think my way past this place.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
No, no, don't, Don't Ekrem, don't go.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
Hear me out, I know you've been.
I literally have no otheroption at this point.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
No, do you see anyone else around?
This is what I have to do toget a little bit of your
attention.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
I did this.
You're not taking this from me.
I saved my best friend.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Yeah, you saved him.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
Yeah.
He's doing fine, I know I savedhim.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
I could show you him right now.
Do you want to see him?
No, I'm confident I'm nottaking any of your deals.
Man.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
No, because you're going to try and fool me into
thinking he's dying.
So I accept your stupid gift,but I know he's fine.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
You always were a real plus one intelligence kind
of guy.
Yeah, akram, we I've tried tobargain with you.
I've tried to barter.
I think now I should just tellyou the truth.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
You didn't think that was smart.
Off the rip.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
Well, I really honestly kind of like look at
your past bud.
Were you really in a space totrust?
Speaker 2 (17:59):
No, but I don't think lying at the top of a
relationship is a good way tobuild that trust.
Because now, how do I know?
Speaker 1 (18:04):
Just because you said it's the truth this time it's
like, oh well, he wouldn't tellme that if he was lying again, I
guess maybe I need to trust youto handle the truth and you
need to just have a little bitof faith that I won't lie this
time.
Hmm, alright, as he's talkingto you, go ahead and give me an
(18:30):
insight check.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
It's a natural one.
It was a natural one.
Is it a zero?
You rolled a zero.
It's a natural one.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
That's a wisdom.
Is it a zero?
You rolled a zero.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
It's a wisdom skill.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:48):
All right, I'll trust him, you know counter to
everything you've ever told me.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
You're right.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
You feel like he actually is coming clean with
you this time I have to.
Speaker 3 (19:02):
I rolled a nat 1.
Mathematically it says so yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
Chester is going to be okay, I know I saved him.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
But you've got to get back to him quick.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
I mean I definitely plan on getting back to him for
sure I want to help you withthat.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
I bet you do.
I really I do.
I can honestly say I neveranticipated you turning down
power at every opportunity.
It almost makes me proud of youKind of, in the way you see
(19:50):
somebody doing something reallydumb but you're like, damn,
they're doing it on their own.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
Thanks.
I don't know how to respond tothis.
I guess I'm just kind of likestill listening to hear where
the butt is going to be, youknow, because, like every time
that he's tried to bargain withme before, it's always like I'll
bet you need me now.
So I'm waiting for, like, theflip on his inch.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
The thing is, ekrem, you can't do this with who you
are now, but you can do it withthe person.
You can be watched.
You struggle and fight and tryto use darkness and a person's
(20:48):
own fears against them, and Iwonder what do you think would
happen if you embrace thoseparts about you that you use
against everyone else?
Speaker 2 (21:04):
Well, if I'm being honest with myself, I fear that
it would teeter that linebetween the absolute power,
corrupting absolutely.
And as long as I keep myself incheck and keep my emotions
under control, I can utilizethese abilities without making
them exploitive.
So, quite frankly, I've beendenying your power up to this
point, to prove a point tomyself that I do have the
(21:25):
self-control I've always wanted.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
And you've done remarkable.
I watched you, I picked you,I've put you in this place and
every time you've resisted, justtaking the easy path.
(21:56):
And he steps into the light ofthe fire and as he does, that
kind of shadowy self of youvanishes and you're just left
looking at, in this case, anexact copy of yourself, and he
goes.
(22:19):
I think it's easier for you tosee me this way than how I
really am, but just know I'mvery glad you're one of the
city's protectors and he holdsout a hand to you.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
Back to Chester, yeah , chester.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
Make that second death saving throw.
You kind of do this thing whereyou're trying to pick yourself
up as if you're trying to leanagainst the weight of this woman
.
Where you're trying to pickyourself up as if you're trying
to lean against the weight ofthis woman and you just kind of
fall as you realize she'sincorporeal.
You fall through her, hittingyour face on the ground.
Speaker 3 (23:11):
I slipped on some of the bad blood I had inside my
body.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
Well, that's taking damage.
So you just failed.
Two more deaths, shut up, thenyou're dead.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
Chester, I'm not here like that.
Speaker 3 (23:27):
You live on in my heart, you're right.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
Yeah, the one that has a dagger In it, big guy.
Speaker 3 (23:32):
I mean, she took it back.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
Yeah, no, they usually do.
It seemed like it was verypotent.
Chester, if we would havefought I mean really fought do
you think you would have won?
Speaker 3 (23:48):
No, you would have whipped the tits off me.
Is that a phrase?
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Don't be offensive before you die I mean this is
all in your head, so I guess youthought it as a phrase.
I mean this is all in your head, so I guess you thought it as a
phrase.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
Chester, why do you think I would have beat you?
Because you're killer numberone.
You're the best killer.
Like, you're very good at it.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
No, that's very nice.
Speaker 3 (24:24):
I appreciate that she was good at it.
You no, that's very nice, shewas good at it.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
yeah, you're not here , shut up shit, I was the best
at it, but you know how I gotthat way uh practice.
Yeah, murder, murder practice,no, but also, I had to want it.
I wanted it more than anythingI'd ever wanted.
(24:47):
And when you took that swing atme I could see in your eyes you
didn't want any of this.
Speaker 3 (24:55):
Nope, you're very good at reading people as well.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
Yeah, very good at reading the room.
Well, yeah, very good atreading the room, not so much at
finding the stool behind me.
Speaker 3 (25:04):
Yeah, well, I may have come back from the future.
I'm not sure exactly if it wasreal or not, but Chester, what
did you want?
An easy life.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
And what have you been given?
Speaker 3 (25:26):
Well, it could be worse, I'm sure.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
How Would you have two stab wounds, big guy?
Speaker 3 (25:32):
Yep, I mean, that is worse.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
Kaga runs back in the room.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
Oh, thank you.
Oh gosh, I was sweating.
I was like, if he doesn't.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
Hey, what the shit?
Yeah, give you another one, youbig old dum-dum.
Speaker 3 (25:48):
You see, things were better just a minute ago.
It can always be Never mind.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
The Lord Dragon's like oh, fuck man.
Oh, you wanted an easy life andyou've never had that From your
childhood to a failed marriage.
I wasn't married, exactly yourwife says I don't even think I
(26:18):
was married to him.
I just forget about him all thetime.
And here you are.
Speaker 3 (26:26):
Bleeding out, dying a man that's never been married.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
I know that's even more sad than if you had a wife
that left you somehow.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
Cut to Ekrem.
You know what I'm going to behonest with when I get back, and
I'm just going to let him knowthat he never had a wife.
Speaker 1 (26:40):
I never had a wife, I never had a wife sheep the only
thing that you've ever donethat surprised me is that you
didn't just lay down and dieeach time you'd been hit, beat.
(27:02):
Is that you didn't just laydown and die each time You'd
been hit, beat, stabbed, set onfire?
You were humiliated by a pieceof armor.
Speaker 3 (27:12):
In my defense, I did get poisoned because my
companion tripped a trap.
Speaker 1 (27:17):
And yet every time you got back up.
Why won't this time be anydifferent, chester?
Speaker 3 (27:28):
well, I reckon it won't be any different.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
I'm I'm doing pretty good she looks it's just a
puddle of blood under you.
She's like chester you'retalking to a hallucination, a
blood loss induced hallucination.
How do you think?
It's like Chester, you'retalking to a hallucination, a
blood loss induced hallucination.
How do you think it's going?
Speaker 3 (27:45):
It just cuts out and I'm just like on my knees Just
slowly drooling blood.
Speaker 1 (27:50):
Just one cultist walking in there, just being
like I don't know what we'resupposed to do.
Is he okay?
They're just like.
You know what, Just walk, Keepwalking.
He's.
You know, it's all sort itselfout.
Um, one of them slides you, uh,like a cookie and a juice box.
Speaker 3 (28:09):
It's just like yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
I know that it was about the best I can do Go ahead
and give yourself a go aheadand make a medicine check, Just
for like what you think'shappening to yourself.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
That's a pretty hearty plus zero.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
So ooh, does a six work?
I'm good dude.
You're still playing the gameof like bad blood's coming out,
good blood's gonna go in at somepoint, right.
Speaker 3 (28:32):
Yeah, I haven't seen a barber in years, hence being
bald, but also this is what theywould do.
I have less blood.
Speaker 2 (28:40):
Duh, what does that?
Speaker 1 (28:42):
have to do with a barber.
Barbers used to be old-timeysurgeons, oh.
Speaker 2 (28:45):
Huh.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
Yeah, he passed a real-life history check there.
Speaker 3 (28:48):
Yeah, I didn't.
Oh, sorry guys.
Tyson dumb.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
I was so confused.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
No, it's just weird that you know the history of
barbers.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
I know a lot of weird stuff.
It is ironic.
I know a lot of weird stuff.
It is ironic.
I mean, if we're being real, Ishould have been the one that
knew.
Speaker 3 (29:06):
More of a stylist, I think.
Speaker 2 (29:08):
Yeah, alright, we cut to Ekrem.
God, I'm glad my buddy's okay.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
Every time.
We cut back to Ekrem on theasteroid.
The purified looking version ofyourself has his hand extended
to you.
He just says Ekrem, I want tohelp.
All you have to do is take myhand.
(29:38):
No strings, no more bargains,Just my help.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
I'm still having a really hard time deciding
whether this thing is actuallyevil or not, so I'm very
conflicted.
You know what?
Speaker 1 (29:57):
No, okay, I've made it this far on my own, and
copping out right at the endfeels completely against who I
am.
Okay, so you rejected him.
I do.
Uh, how's that look?
Are you just like get?
Speaker 2 (30:16):
fucked nerd and I just and I just float Birds up.
I mean, once again, I can bevery dramatic about this.
I think I will be very dramaticabout this.
Can I stealthily summon myshadow dagger?
Sure, is that just sleight ofhand?
(30:36):
Yeah, 13.
Good thing.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
I've got inspiration okay you see his face twist into
this like mask of rage.
You've refuted him a final timeso he saw me.
He just again just like justanimosity to you, stupid little
(31:15):
shit.
You'll doom entire worlds forthe sake of your pride and he's
gonna take a lunge at you you'regonna make two roles here.
You've got your shadow daggerstealthed out.
Ok, you can make an attack role.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
And then you're also going to make a charisma saving
throw.
Speaker 2 (31:36):
Okay, which one do you want first?
Whichever one you want to giveme first.
Okay, the attack roll was onlyan 11.
Okay, the charisma saving throwis a 16.
Okay.
Speaker 1 (31:51):
His hands latch onto you for a second.
You feel shadowy tendrilsseeping into your skin.
That icy coldness that you feltin the shadow fell, that both
felt like home and also feltvery wrong Sinking into you.
But you assert your belief.
(32:15):
You are Ekrem.
You have said no all your lifeand everyone thought Ekrem is
just being obstinate, but in theend you've been resolute this
entire time.
You feel those shadows beingpushed out, that ASMR nature on
(32:38):
yours, that shadowy self thatyou summon, actually this time
bursts into a radiant light anddrives him back at the same time
as you drive your daggerforward into his chest, piercing
through his robes and strikingat his heart.
You see that rage and hate turnhis heart.
You see that rage and hate turninto agony and then he slumps
(33:06):
to the ground dead.
Speaker 2 (33:13):
Almost melting.
No final words no yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
Hey man, ekrem's going to be like this too.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
Or not, Ekrem.
Speaker 3 (33:22):
Chester whichever one , the one you care about most,
chester more like chest wound,am I right?
Speaker 2 (33:29):
Right before the light leaves his eyes.
I just want to look at him andI want to go just to let you
know you never stood a chance.
I want that to be the lastthing he hears.
Let you know you never stood achance.
I want that to be the lastthing he hears.
Okay, that's cold.
It is Fuck this guy.
He's dead.
What's he gonna do about it?
Speaker 1 (33:46):
From behind you.
You just hear a slow kind ofclap.
Speaker 2 (33:51):
Thank you, cultists, it's me.
Speaker 3 (33:56):
Still gonna get you.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
You did pretty good there.
I'm proud of you, akram.
You didn't have to say no, butyou did.
Every time you turn and you seePewter.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
Oh shit.
Speaker 1 (34:13):
How's it?
Speaker 2 (34:13):
going.
Speaker 1 (34:15):
You know it's pretty good.
You've been here a while Longerthan you would know.
Speaker 2 (34:22):
Oh yeah, how does time work here?
Is it like way slower, wayfaster?
Has it been like 100 years?
In the real world we?
Speaker 1 (34:27):
spent about two death saving throws for you.
I was about to say so about 12seconds.
Speaker 2 (34:32):
You haven't been back so you don't know.
Those are dumb questions.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
That's on me.
She know I've be honest withyou, kid.
Speaker 2 (34:43):
I've always been here well, if I have to be
completely honest, if I wouldhave known that you were here a
bit sooner I believe that wasour only way out I might have
said yes to help both of us.
I I thought it was likeself-sacrifice part two, but now
I kind of feel bad.
Speaker 1 (35:02):
No, ekrem, there's Nothing's ever unsolvable.
No trap is unbreakable, noplane is inescapable.
And Pewter trots up to you, herlittle dwarven-mailed hand,
just reaching out to you hey,you want to go home, bud.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
Yeah, yeah, that sounds pretty great.
Speaker 1 (35:28):
We cut to Chester.
Speaker 3 (35:31):
Please don't use the word cut.
Speaker 1 (35:33):
We stabbed to Chester I was like does this feel
better, chester, go ahead andgive me another death saving
throw.
Speaker 3 (35:47):
Oh, you fucking kidding me One.
Speaker 2 (35:51):
Like a natural one.
Speaker 3 (35:52):
Yes, that makes three fails.
Chester, that makes three fails.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
Chester.
You go to stand, just willpowerand grit as you almost rise.
Then you drop to one arm.
You look up and you see thekiller in front of you.
(36:24):
She just says, chester, I wishyou would have done a little bit
better, but just know, in theend I'm proud of you for always
getting up bud and you feeleverything go cold.
(36:52):
Before everything fades out, Ijust look up at the killer and
I'm just like well, well, Iguess it had to happen someday
the last thing you see is asmall child holding hands with
the killer, her bright clothescontrasting with the black armor
(37:20):
of the killer, and then youfade to darkness.
That's where we're going to endthis one, guys.
Speaker 2 (37:34):
Damn Real yin and yang here.
Speaker 1 (37:37):
Man to be so close to succeeding alright that's the
end of this episode, but it'snot the end of our adventures,
guys we're going to it's so goodat the home stretch to be like,
hey, so roll, a new character.
This one's going to be.
Speaker 3 (37:58):
Hester.
You guys meet at thehomestretch to be like hey, so
roll, a new character.
This one's going to be Hester.
You guys meet at the tavern.
He's got a lot of hair, nomustache.
Speaker 1 (38:04):
It's just oddly reversed.
It's like Chewbacca, but with acutout where the mustache
should go.
Speaker 2 (38:11):
I thought you were going to go more absurdly, like
just mutton chops, oh man.
Speaker 3 (38:15):
That is super cool.
This is why God doesn't let megrow facial hair because I think
mutton chops are super coolalright.
Speaker 1 (38:21):
Where can we find you guys?
Where can we see you?
Speaker 3 (38:23):
you can find me at Tyson Cox Comedy follow me on
Instagram at Tyson Cox Comedyand I travel and do shows.
You can find me thatinformation through my Instagram
at Tyson Cox Comedy my name isTyler Waltz.
Speaker 2 (38:34):
You can find everything I do at Nerd News or
Nerd News Network and I'm KevinEggaltz.
Speaker 1 (38:40):
You can find everything I do at nerd news or
nerd news network.
And I'm kavin agleston.
You can find me at all thingscomedy with kavin aglestoncom or
at kavin underscore egg on allthe socials, bye tyson here,
just wanted to say thank you toeveryone that's listened so far.
Speaker 3 (38:53):
We're wrapping up the first season and we got some
big things in store coming downthe pipeline, but honestly, it's
super cool that we are steadilygrowing in listeners and we get
to do these live shows andpeople are subscribing to the
Patreon, speaking of which,scott, thank you for subscribing
to the Patreon.
I know you come to live showsand you're a super cool guy, so
I appreciate that as well.
(39:14):
Speaking of live shows, we dohave our regularly scheduled
live shows.
If you're listening to thistoday, it drops thursday, the
21st of november.
We are at commonwealth, whichis right outside of cincinnati.
Then on the 4th of december, weare at planet of the tapes, and
the 10th of december we areback at our starting ground, the
(39:37):
White Rabbit Cabaret.
But we have a fun specialMonster Monster at Game Master
Games December 13th inPittsburgh.
It's a super cool game shop.
The owner is this amazing dude.
It's crazy.
He was so awesome to talk to,so check us out there.
So we're all over, and then wehave our other episode.
I'll get to that later.
I won't waste any more of your.
(39:58):
So check us out there.
So we're all over and then wehave our other episode with
Russell.
I'll get to that later.
I won't waste any more of yourtime.
Thank you again, everybody.
If you liked it, please like,share, subscribe, all that jazz.
And with that out of the way,please enjoy the outro by Robert
Smallburn.
I just want to, I just want toroll, I just want to, I just
want to, I just want to roll.
I just wanna roll, I just wanna, I just wanna, I just wanna
(40:18):
roll At 20 on that troll hitthat shit like pretty gold.
I just wanna, I just wanna roll, I just wanna, I just wanna
roll, I just wanna, I just wanna.
I just wanna roll With that.
Level 30's gold got me holdingall this gold.
Speaker 1 (40:33):
I just wanna, I just wanna, I just wanna, I just
wanna, I just wanna, I justwanna, I just want em, I just
want em, I just want em, I justwant em, I just want em, I just
want em.
Speaker 2 (40:42):
I just want to roll that 20 on that troll.
Hit that shit like Fritico.
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Amy Robach & T.J. Holmes present: Aubrey O’Day, Covering the Diddy Trial
Introducing… Aubrey O’Day Diddy’s former protege, television personality, platinum selling music artist, Danity Kane alum Aubrey O’Day joins veteran journalists Amy Robach and TJ Holmes to provide a unique perspective on the trial that has captivated the attention of the nation. Join them throughout the trial as they discuss, debate, and dissect every detail, every aspect of the proceedings. Aubrey will offer her opinions and expertise, as only she is qualified to do given her first-hand knowledge. From her days on Making the Band, as she emerged as the breakout star, the truth of the situation would be the opposite of the glitz and glamour. Listen throughout every minute of the trial, for this exclusive coverage. Amy Robach and TJ Holmes present Aubrey O’Day, Covering the Diddy Trial, an iHeartRadio podcast.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.