S02E10 - Necromancy and Neck Pain

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Previously on Monster Monster, Vance and Dolo make
their way through the streets ofKerr Hill to find an
interesting blacksmith.
After striking a deal, theybegin to wonder what else is in
their adventure.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
I like that.
You said an interestingblacksmith.
That's for us to decide, notyou the guy who made him.
No, I made him interesting, socool.
You made him kind of a prick.
I did because, they werefrustrating me.

Speaker 4 (00:22):
Interesting is the word as a.

Speaker 1 (00:24):
DM I vent through characters Gotcha.

Speaker 2 (00:29):
Yeah, he hates it whenever players have fun
talking to his NPCs.

Speaker 1 (00:34):
He hates it.
All.
Right, everybody, welcome toMonster Monster.
My name is Tyler Waltz and Iwill be your DM.
I know that we normally dointroductions at the end, but we
have a guest today.

Speaker 3 (00:44):
Yeah, my name's Joey Eberling.
Should I introduce my character?

Speaker 1 (00:47):
or just let that, If you want we can have your
character be introduced throughthe story.
But just who are you?
I'll hang on to it.
Oh, I'm just a guy.
You're just a guy.

Speaker 3 (00:57):
Yeah, I'm just a girl in a world.
No, I'm just a guy doing funmake-em-ups every now and again,
and I get to play D&D on apodcast now, so that's really
cool.
It is very cool I've made somecool choices in my life to get
here, that's pretty great.

Speaker 2 (01:09):
That didn't sound like sarcastic at all.
No.

Speaker 3 (01:11):
I was completely genuine with that.
I get how it could sound thatway because the world of comedy
can be very sad, but I wascompletely genuine with that
Also D&D and cool is like athree year anomaly.

Speaker 1 (01:24):
It hasn't been associated for very long.

Speaker 2 (01:26):
Lockers empty of nerds currently.

Speaker 1 (01:28):
All right, Tyson.

Speaker 2 (01:30):
Hey everybody, I'm Tyson Cox.
I'm a stand-up comedian, d&dplayer, nerd guy.
You guys know me if you've beenlistening, if not, that's me.

Speaker 4 (01:39):
My name is Dolan Mircedrin.
Everybody call me Dolo, but myreal name is brian petrie.
Find me at all things.
Brian petrie.

Speaker 1 (01:46):
Comedy on the insta webs, vance and dolo just
recently got the information forwho can tell them more about
these necromancer books.
Do you guys know what you wouldlike to do with this
information?

Speaker 2 (01:55):
because we're just coming right out of that
conversation with the blacksmithfirst I look over at dolo and
go oh, what an interestingblacksmith.

Speaker 4 (02:04):
Yeah, it's almost as if he was created as an
interesting person From day oneinteresting.
That's what.
I thought immediately I'm goingto write that on my little
notepad here.
Interesting yeah.

Speaker 1 (02:18):
As you guys are talking, you see that he opens
the door and there was not asign before, but now it says no
solicitors and he closes it.

Speaker 4 (02:25):
Yeah.
Yeah we have that effect onpeople.
Nice.
Good luck selling shit.

Speaker 1 (02:31):
Well, no, it's good luck buying shit, because you
sold him a bunch of stuff.

Speaker 4 (02:34):
No, he ain't going to sell nothing when I'm done with
this place.

Speaker 1 (02:38):
Vague threat to economy.
Tyler loves economy.

Speaker 2 (02:44):
Be nice to him All right, so you said we have the
address.
Is it general shopping or is itjust like?
This is a?

Speaker 1 (02:52):
guy's house.
It's basically a guy's house.
So essentially, your optionsright now for the information
that you have is you have theamulet that you don't know what
it does but you know that ittries to hurt you when you put
it on.
That you don't know what itdoes, but you know that it tries
to hurt you when you put it on.
You have the docks, which iswhere most of the underground
information everybody who knowseverybody is going to get their
merchandise through there andwhere you're going to meet the

(03:14):
most contacts and then thismysterious person that could
tell you more about thenecromancy books.

Speaker 2 (03:21):
Okay, all right, all right.
So we're going to meet this guy.
We should get him a bribe.
Let's go get him some pastries.
Really smooth them over,pastries.
Yeah, I think seems like a goodidea so what are you marketing?
Yeah I mean, we got to meetthis guy about a book, right?
Yeah, you want to bring inpastries I want to start off on

(03:41):
the right foot.

Speaker 4 (03:42):
How do you know he likes sweets?

Speaker 2 (03:44):
I'm making a pretty vague stab here.

Speaker 4 (03:47):
Like, what if we get there and he's diabetic?

Speaker 2 (03:51):
More pastries for us.

Speaker 4 (03:53):
You just want pastries, don't you Vance?

Speaker 2 (03:56):
He looks down at his stomach and just goes.

Speaker 1 (03:59):
Everybody knows, the best comedy is no but.
You're presented sweetsdiabetes.

Speaker 2 (04:06):
That's what happened to you, though.

Speaker 3 (04:10):
Let's get him a hot wing and a rich beer.

Speaker 2 (04:12):
That way his gout can flare up.

Speaker 1 (04:14):
Oh, that's an inside joke.

Speaker 2 (04:15):
Nobody even knows that.

Speaker 4 (04:18):
Why don't we get him some cherry juice, just to be
safe?

Speaker 1 (04:22):
Am I just going to have to write me as this
mysterious wizard?
I think so.
I think so.
You hear his steps come downfrom the.
Am I just going to have towrite me as this mysterious?

Speaker 2 (04:26):
wizard.
I think so.
I think so.
You hear his steps come downfrom the tower.
He opens the door.
He is winded All right.

Speaker 3 (04:33):
Are you going to the fucking docks?

Speaker 4 (04:36):
Let's go get you some sweet treats Vance.

Speaker 2 (04:38):
Well, I mean, there's like no, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 4 (04:41):
You need sweet, truffly sweet, candy-coated,
glazed wonderfulness in yourlife.
Let's go get you some.

Speaker 2 (04:48):
I think that blacksmith really rubbed you the
wrong way but yeah, let's go,yeah, yeah.
We head down to the I guess thedock area.

Speaker 1 (04:57):
The docks are north, so you head up to the docks.

Speaker 2 (04:59):
Yeah, that's fun for the listeners.
Yeah, it's just like diabetesAll right.

Speaker 1 (05:06):
So you head to the docks.
Before you get there, younotice that they almost have,
like, a check-in system, like,instead of it just being a huge
open docks, it's completelyfenced off with one point of
entry and there's a dwarfstanding there at that point of
entry.

Speaker 4 (05:20):
Vance, you know him.

Speaker 2 (05:23):
Do I.

Speaker 1 (05:25):
Make a history check to confirm Brian's racism.

Speaker 2 (05:33):
Ooh Brian's very racist 18 on the die.

Speaker 1 (05:38):
Yeah, 18.
Okay, cool, so you do recognizethis dwarf so, yeah, 18, okay,
cool, so you do recognize thisdwarf.
All right, I'm sure this won'tget out of hand.
Um, because now brian's gonnatry and confirm everything
through the lens of species.

Speaker 4 (05:57):
I rolled no dice.
You just asked a question, allright, you're actually it's, I'm
actually related to him.

Speaker 2 (06:05):
Oh, you're going to the extra step.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got 18.

Speaker 1 (06:08):
So you could recognize this dwarf as Golnam
Keenhold and he is one of theguildmasters for this area and
basically, if there is somebodythat knows somebody, it's Golnam
.
He has a very high reputationwhere you know that loyalty is
his number one thing.
As long as you're loyal to him,everything's going to be fine.

(06:30):
But the moment he even suspectsthat you are crossing him, you
better.

Speaker 2 (06:35):
You're not sleeping well at night oh, he's gonna
feed me hot wings too late atnight yeah so like uh, yeah,
crazy enough.
I know him, cool guy.
He kind of knows a lot about alot of things.

Speaker 4 (06:52):
How do you know him?
I was just being an ass.

Speaker 2 (06:56):
Well, you know what they say sometimes when you're
an ass.

Speaker 1 (06:59):
He doesn't know you.
I rolled the C.

Speaker 4 (07:05):
What are the odds of him hearing about you?

Speaker 1 (07:06):
this is this is what we need, though right, yeah,
apparently I'm a fan of him well, it's one of those things where
you know like a local businessand you know the owner, but the
owner doesn't know you yeah, youknow so I have a actually I
have a punch card nine, nineinteractions with him.

Speaker 2 (07:22):
The tenth one's free, so this is pretty advantageous
and you're at eight ah, son of abitch I just kind of know him
through.

Speaker 4 (07:30):
You know the grapevine I got a suspicious
feeling about these books andthis little evil gem.
You think he knows anythingabout it would I, you wouldn't I
?

Speaker 1 (07:43):
nothing from what you've heard would make you
think that he's arcane likeunderstanding in any way.

Speaker 2 (07:48):
No, I don't think so.
I think he deals more in thematerial goods.

Speaker 4 (07:51):
Well, let's see if we can make our way through there
and get you some pastries andsomething for our upcoming
visitor.

Speaker 1 (07:56):
Yeah, so I walk up when you walk up, he's reading a
book.
What's he reading?
You can't.

Speaker 2 (08:05):
The cover doesn't have anything on it.
It's almost like a journal.
Ah okay, Excuse me, uh,Keenhold, how are you doing?

Speaker 1 (08:12):
He, uh, he just looks up with his eyes and he goes
permit.
Unfortunately we just got intotown, ah so you need a permit
and then he kind of looks and hegoes that'll be 200 gold and he
scratches his head.

Speaker 2 (08:27):
The fuck Wait 200 gold to change parts of the city
.

Speaker 1 (08:32):
Hey, I don't make the rules.
You know he makes the rules.
Yeah, you do.

Speaker 2 (08:37):
You don't recognize me.

Speaker 1 (08:39):
No, I cannot say, I do in any capacity.
You know my aunt oh who wasyour aunt.
Yes, that's not how this works.
Roll me Deception 16.
19.
Yeah, he goes.

Speaker 4 (08:56):
Look, I may know her, but that doesn't mean I know
you Now, while they're goingback and forth about whether or
not he knows his aunt, can Ijust look around and see what's
around me?

Speaker 1 (09:05):
Yeah, yeah for sure you can see through the fence.
It's very much stereotypicalport.
There's people unloading boats,everything like that.
Give me a perception or insight.
Check Boom Nat 20.

Speaker 4 (09:17):
Nat 20.

Speaker 1 (09:18):
Okay.
So with you being in theindustry of buying and selling
and stuff like that, you cankind of pinpoint which boats are
doing what business.
So you see a boat that'sclearly unloading arms and stuff
like that.
You notice that some of thesepackages aren't following the
flow of traffic and there'sdefinitely some alleyways, that

(09:38):
some boxes are disappearing andyou're able to pinpoint and
locate those and you also noticesome of the like side deals
that are going on as well.

Speaker 4 (09:52):
So you are able to get a very clear understanding
of this dock um, on the dockside, since, uh, I'm looking at
all the stuff being loaded andis there like a stack of crates
anywhere on the other side ofthe fence?

Speaker 1 (10:00):
on the opposite side of the fence.
Uh yeah, there would be somecrates for some of the vendors
that are set up on the perimeter.
How far away are they Probably30, 40 feet down the fence line,
perfect.

Speaker 4 (10:10):
Perfect, I'm going to , while they're conversating,
start a little fire at thebottom of those crates.

Speaker 1 (10:19):
Okay, give me a sleight of hand to see if
anybody notices.
Ooh, I got a 19 on the die.

Speaker 4 (10:24):
I'm a rogue, though.
Oh, we match, oh, we match, wematch.
I'll give it to you.

Speaker 1 (10:28):
So you start a small fire that hasn't really been
noticed yet.
And during all of this and theargument, our wonderful guest
overhears this exchange at thegate.
What are you doing in there?

Speaker 3 (10:44):
What am I doing?
Or am I just popping in at this?

Speaker 1 (10:46):
what would you like to be doing?
Let's just say that you're onthe dock doing an exchange and
you overhear it you're justwheeling and dealing here at the
docks and you overhear somebodytrying to get in.
But can't like just arguingwith the with the front gate
I've, uh, I'm there doing somebusiness.

Speaker 5 (10:59):
I overhear this commotion, uh hey, there's
something going on over here.
Is everything okay?
I couldn't help but notice alittle kerfuffle happening at
the fence.
Rules got you down, brotherGolden looks over and goes.

Speaker 1 (11:12):
Ah, just more people trying to get in without paying
the fee.

Speaker 5 (11:16):
Hey, you got to pay the fee to party brother.
Listen.
The laws of man don't entice memuch, but the laws of society
amongst us as tradesperson,those I can get down with all
day.
How do you?

Speaker 1 (11:30):
react Vance.

Speaker 5 (11:32):
You need a hand brother.

Speaker 2 (11:33):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (11:36):
How much is the fee again, sir?

Speaker 5 (11:40):
You talking to me.
Yes, sir, do I look like thefucking quartermaster to you?

Speaker 4 (11:47):
That's well said.
I've never heard someone put itthat way.

Speaker 1 (11:52):
Look, I would be willing to negotiate on the
prices, as long as I'm not beinglied to.
And he looks at you, vance andhe goes.
We do need some work done,vance and he goes.
We do need some work done.
The fees to get in are mostlyjust to deter people who aren't
actually interested in business.

Speaker 4 (12:11):
What else would people be interested in?
Yeah, what.

Speaker 5 (12:14):
All kinds of things.
I could list things all day.
I got all kinds of interests.
Sorry, I'm a bit of achatterbox.

Speaker 4 (12:21):
I got time.

Speaker 1 (12:22):
I don't get to talk very often it's interesting to
me that two gentlemen would cometo a smuggling city and then
you see a gate where there'slike a fee to get in and think,
oh no, no, no, this is all onthe up and up and they're
definitely not trying to keepout like I don't know the feds
or anything.

Speaker 5 (12:38):
The feds would have gold.
Are you a?

Speaker 2 (12:39):
fed.

Speaker 4 (12:39):
You've got to tell me if you're a fed, if I was a fed
, would I be arguing about theprice to get in?
That's exactly what a fed wouldsay.
And who is this homeless guyand where did he come from?
Homeless, you're homeless, I'vegot a home.

Speaker 5 (12:49):
I've got a home.
It's fully self-sustaining.
Can you say that I've got afull homestead ready to go
locked and loaded?
I've got known to enjoy alittle temple, but I don't live
there.

Speaker 1 (13:10):
At about this time.
The fire grows pretty big atthis point and a bunch of people
start rushing over and he goeslook, help us put out this fire,
and then we can negotiatesomething.

Speaker 2 (13:19):
All right, I go try to find a bucket to get some
water.

Speaker 4 (13:23):
Okay, yeah, I'm going to go help him find the bucket.

Speaker 2 (13:27):
Yeah, and I walk past him into the city, me too, all
right.
I'm going to get a bucket, I'llbe right back hey game respect
game.

Speaker 5 (13:33):
That was pretty smooth what you did there.

Speaker 1 (13:35):
Oh, so you go with him, yeah.

Speaker 5 (13:38):
Listen again.
I'm very much on the laws ofman, as we agree upon, but when
you skirt them, brother, youskirt them, but good, I got a
question for you.

Speaker 2 (13:47):
You said you had it Because I technically am
homeless.

Speaker 5 (13:50):
All right, good on you, dude this house, powered
house.

Speaker 2 (13:54):
It's pretty good.
We should talk about that morelater.

Speaker 5 (13:56):
Oh wait, Are you fed?

Speaker 2 (13:59):
No.

Speaker 5 (13:59):
Okay, good, because you got to tell me if you are.

Speaker 2 (14:01):
Also no, they don't.

Speaker 1 (14:02):
So, now that you guys are in the port and they're
dealing with the fire, where doyou guys go?
Dolo, you have a pretty goodlayout.
Are you trying to make it toone of the ships?
Are you trying to make it toone of those like alleys?

Speaker 4 (14:15):
I'm trying to get up in them alleys.
Okay cool.
Their stuff on the ship is notwhat anybody wants.

Speaker 1 (14:25):
It what anybody wants .
It's the stuff in the alley.
Okay, so I will need.
Are you guys just going?
I'm gonna go with him.
Yeah, I'm not gonna split up.
No, no, I was asking are youtrying to like sneak?
Are you trying to like blend in, like?
How are you guys doing hang?

Speaker 2 (14:32):
on.
Is there a bucket?
Uh, is there like a bucket,like readily available?

Speaker 1 (14:35):
yeah, there'd be buckets.
I mean there's bringing in fishor all kinds of stuff.

Speaker 2 (14:39):
I grab a.
I grab a bucket.
Uh, is there any like that?
Are filled with water oranything already?
No, okay, well, I find somewater or something, or I create
water into the bucket and I justthrow the bucket and the water
at the fire.
I'm like, ah, I gave it a shot.

Speaker 4 (14:53):
We were already gone.

Speaker 2 (14:55):
But I had to try.
I couldn't lie to the man.

Speaker 5 (14:58):
Ben's got a code.
I gotta respect that.

Speaker 4 (14:59):
While he's doing that , I'm tucked away in a shadow,
slowly turning my jacket insideout.

Speaker 1 (15:05):
Okay, Give me a sneak check, but yes you throw the
bucket and Goldham just looks atyou and goes what the hell?
17.
17.
All right, you are able to yep,you're able to change your
identity to be vague enough towhere nobody will notice you.
And he just looks at you and hegoes just handle them, I'll

(15:30):
keep an eye on them.
And you all head to thealleyways.

Speaker 3 (15:33):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (15:33):
Okay.
So in the alleyways, you startto see more of what the city's
really about.
You're seeing people justlaying on your typical slums of
the city, but you're also seeingwhere most of the money is
being transferred as well.
Everybody, give me an insightcheck.

Speaker 2 (15:49):
Ooh, not me, not me, not today, mm-mm, no how.

Speaker 1 (15:53):
Mm-mm 19.
19,.
Okay, dolo's really carryingthe situations.

Speaker 4 (15:59):
Walking through these alleyways, baby, this is my bad
.
Home Okay.
10.
These alleyways, baby, this ismy bad home, okay, 10.

Speaker 1 (16:03):
So Dolo, you notice that a lot of these goods
they're within these alleysthere's almost like man-made,
not man-made.
There are essentiallycheckpoints where everybody
knows kind of what is theirlocation.
You can tell by how people aredressed, certain tattoos, that
each little alleyway thatbranches out is controlled by

(16:27):
different underground societiesand different boxes and
different labels are passingthrough.

Speaker 4 (16:32):
Do I recognize any of the societies or the tattoos?

Speaker 1 (16:35):
So you recognize, give me a history check.
You're going to get one, butyou might be able to get more.
You can also roll me a historycheck.
Oh shit, a seven, that's a five.
Okay.
So yeah, neither one of yourecognize too many of them,
although I will say Dolo.
One of them that you dorecognize is the same symbol of
the gentleman that beat you upmany years ago.

Speaker 2 (16:59):
Very nice about it.
At the end of the movieKingsman he was like the man is
mak nice about it.
Yeah, the movie Kingsman, hewas like the man is making the
man yeah shit out of me with anumbrella and a monocle can I?

Speaker 4 (17:10):
can I tell what products?

Speaker 1 (17:12):
are being transported to them specifically.
No, they're all in crates.
The crates just have the symbolon them mm-hmm.

Speaker 4 (17:22):
I know what this is all about now what in what in
the alley are the alleyssegmented?
Is it like are we walking downan alley and then there's like
cut streets?

Speaker 1 (17:32):
Yes, it's almost like you guys are walking down like
a mall where there's one mainhighway and then they branch off
and you see like doorways thatare blocked with certain symbols
on them.
Give me perception checkseverybody.

Speaker 2 (17:44):
So if it's like a mall, I don't know and I'm like,
ah, so this is a bad idea anddying yeah right in the middle
there's a cell phone yeah,there's a little kiosk yeah yeah
there's massage chairs oh 10 1424.

Speaker 1 (17:58):
okay, so, um, everybody that got above a 10.
Uh, the symbols that you cancurrently see where you're at is
the symbol that Dolo saw.
You also see another symbol oftwo dragons that are intertwined
.
You also see a spider wrappingup like a bug symbol and then,
finally, you see a wolf and asheep, like the wolf is going

(18:21):
after the sheep.
Those are the symbols that youcurrently see in front of you.
Are you going to attempt to gointo any of these locations or
are you still just scoping itout?

Speaker 4 (18:31):
I'm just scoping things out.

Speaker 5 (18:33):
Hey, by the way, real quick to jump in here guys.
I wanted to introduce myself.
I realized I've just been kindof tagging along with you.
Oh fuck, yeah.
Hey, sorry, I kind of taggingalong with you.
Oh fuck, yeah, hey, sorry, Ikind of do that.
I just kind of fade into thebackground.
Hey, name's Dudley Wayne Budley, nice to meet you.
Listen, I told the old QM I'dkeep an eye on you.

(18:54):
Don't worry, I'm not a cop oranything like that, I'm just
here as a bud.
But I felt it was weird.
I've been walking behind youand I didn't want to creep you
out or nothing like that.

Speaker 4 (19:05):
Okay, Better a bud than a dud.

Speaker 5 (19:09):
I never heard that one before.
I am a dud.
I'm a dud Lee and a bud Lee.

Speaker 1 (19:17):
You said that with all the enthusiasm of somebody
with a last name that getsbrought up every time they buy
something.
Yeah the last name that getsbrought up every time they buy
something.
Yeah, like, yeah, like.
I've been to so many gasstations where I say my last
name is waltz and somebody willgo.
Can you dance?

Speaker 2 (19:31):
why are you saying your last name at gas stations?

Speaker 4 (19:34):
well, no, like, I guess not you're just like
walking up high tyler waltz,yeah, I'm here for your beef
jerky.

Speaker 1 (19:41):
Yeah, it's for my friend Brian.

Speaker 4 (19:44):
Sure it is, sir, sure it is.

Speaker 2 (19:47):
And it always is.
Yes, this is a large bag ofsnacks, but for me it's several
of my friends.

Speaker 3 (19:53):
What a party we shall have later.

Speaker 1 (19:57):
No, I'm talking about when they check your ID and
stuff if you buy alcohol.
I don't know why I went to gasstation first.
It's just a liquor store.

Speaker 5 (20:03):
Hey, you know what you went from the heart.
You can't be mad about that.

Speaker 1 (20:06):
Choices were made, choices were made.

Speaker 5 (20:08):
So yeah, anyway, just wanted to you know again.
Didn't want to be awkward.

Speaker 1 (20:12):
Nice to meet you.

Speaker 5 (20:13):
Dud Nice, you know sometimes it's well, yep,
sometimes people give me theirnames back, yeah.

Speaker 2 (20:21):
What an interesting tradition you have up here.

Speaker 5 (20:23):
Yeah, you know, it's just something I'm trying out
Trying it on for size I like myname.

Speaker 4 (20:28):
I think I'm going to keep it.
Wow, I see what you did there.
Your name is Sam Antics.
Huh, Nice to meet you.
I'm Vance.

Speaker 5 (20:39):
That's Vance with an A.

Speaker 4 (20:42):
Beginning or in the middle of it, wherever there
would be an I?

Speaker 5 (20:47):
there's an a.
Where would there be an I invance?
No he said vince vince, ohvince with an with an, a vince
with.
See, now I'm more confused thanwhen we started.

Speaker 2 (20:57):
See, here's the thing is.
He'll say that to me, referringto me, and, uh, confusing.
Well, I worry every time.

Speaker 1 (21:05):
Every time you hear an omnipotent voice just in your
head.
Now you know why I'm so fuckingfrustrated all the time.
What the fuck was that?

Speaker 5 (21:13):
Oh, they got the implant on me.

Speaker 4 (21:16):
Well, I'm Dolo.

Speaker 5 (21:17):
Hey, nice to meet you .
I think Time will tell.

Speaker 1 (21:21):
Time will tell.

Speaker 5 (21:22):
All right, wilmette, just wanted to get ourselves
acquainted before we go.

Speaker 4 (21:25):
You recognize any of these?
Oh yeah.

Speaker 5 (21:28):
Yeah, there's a spider.
I believe that's supposed to bea sheep and a wolf.
You know the artistry leavessomething to be desired, but I
see what they were going for.
Graphically okay with it, butyou know, not always my cup of
tea.

Speaker 4 (21:42):
Minimal.
For stencils, it works best.

Speaker 5 (21:44):
Love it.
Yeah, I think those are somedragons.

Speaker 4 (21:46):
Mm-hmm, very mid-century.

Speaker 1 (21:48):
Mm-hmm yeah because, although you've been here a
while, you did roll very low Idid so.
You cannot remember any ofthese ordinances.

Speaker 5 (21:56):
Listen, after they did those experiments on me when
I got sucked into that weirdship in the sky, my memory's a
little foggy.

Speaker 1 (22:04):
What would you guys like to do now that you are in
this alleyway?
What's at the end of the alley?
You can't see it because itgoes so far.

Speaker 4 (22:10):
It's also dark, damn.
Yeah, y'all want to walk downto the alleyway.

Speaker 2 (22:13):
I guess we will just continue down the alleyway until
it suddenly reveals itself.

Speaker 1 (22:17):
Cool, as you continue down the alleyway, give another
perception check golly, seven,21, okay, 12, 12, okay, uh, you
notice some more symbols.
Uh, nothing like the ones upfront, like the prime real
estate this is.
You're getting to the sectionsof the mall where these stores
aren't going to last very long.
You know they're just trying tomake a name for themselves, but

(22:37):
it's like the, the arm bandsthat are supposed to help keep
you balanced.
You know it's a scheme.
So you see some more minorsymbols of businesses and stuff
and when you reach the end, younotice that there's a blank wall
, but there is somebody, a hugeperson, standing right in front
of it, like they're guardingsomething.

Speaker 4 (23:00):
A massive.
Could we recognize what theyare?

Speaker 1 (23:03):
Yes, it's an orc.

Speaker 4 (23:04):
It's an orc, a full orc.
Yeah, massive orc.

Speaker 5 (23:07):
Do I know this massive gentleman?
Give me a history check.
Oh, looks like it.
It looks like that's going tobe a yes, that is a 21.

Speaker 1 (23:20):
Okay, so you don't know the person.
That's a 21.
Okay, so you don't know theperson.
However, you do know that he isessentially working for the
head honcho.
He is the guard for the personthat runs this alleyway.
That is the representation.
You do not mess with thatperson.

Speaker 4 (23:47):
He reports everything that he sees to the underground
boss.
I look at the orc dude and I golook like it's gonna rain.
Huh, we get the hell away fromthis big ass dude, because I I'm
not trying with him today.
He has a bit of a smell thatcould be me, it could be you.

Speaker 5 (23:59):
Yeah, I don't.
I don't, I don't ascribe toconsumer friendly so soaps.

Speaker 4 (24:04):
Yeah, that's what I was going to say, but I didn't
want to just put that on you asour new friend, so I put it up
in the air.

Speaker 5 (24:11):
Sorry for looking after my microbiomes.

Speaker 2 (24:15):
That is what you're doing, vance, just pulls out a
piece of aluminum foil and juststarts eating it.

Speaker 5 (24:21):
Scramble those signals, brother.
You know how it goes.

Speaker 1 (24:25):
So you double back to the first symbol, which was the
one that looked like thejewelry place that is the one
that had the symbol that yourecognize.
It's calling me.
When you approach, you see thetwo guards up front and they
look up and they say well,what's your business here?

Speaker 4 (24:42):
I don't know.
My business is whateverbusiness is going on in here.

Speaker 1 (24:47):
Are you looking to buy or are you looking to sell A
?

Speaker 4 (24:49):
little bit of both.

Speaker 1 (24:50):
Well, if it's a little bit of both, what do you
have to sell what you got for meto buy?
What the hell are we talkingabout right now?
I just asked you what you'reselling.

Speaker 4 (24:58):
Yeah, and I'm asking what you're buying, what can I
buy from you?
I'm not going to sell youanything if I don't know if
there's anything of interest forme to buy here.
You want to know what I have,I'm shopping.
You're not shopping.
You're owning an establishment.

Speaker 1 (25:11):
I feel like we just completely walked past each
other in this conversation.

Speaker 4 (25:14):
Do you have a menu?

Speaker 1 (25:16):
He goes, okay, listen .

Speaker 2 (25:18):
First of all, do you work here?
You're outside the building.
Yes, I'm very confused.

Speaker 4 (25:21):
Why would security, be selling me anything.
Oh no, I don't work here, Ijust like to talk.

Speaker 1 (25:24):
I believe you.
I believe you, excuse me, sir.

Speaker 2 (25:27):
This whole town needs to go through a customer
service.

Speaker 5 (25:31):
Oh, you ran into old chatterbox, dave.
Huh, yeah, you're right, fuckit.

Speaker 1 (25:34):
That's canon, you guys go in.

Speaker 5 (25:35):
Yeah, all right.

Speaker 1 (25:48):
He'll get, you can imagine, and give me arcana
checks everybody.

Speaker 2 (25:54):
All right 17.

Speaker 4 (25:56):
Okay, 25.
24.

Speaker 1 (25:58):
Yeah, and you notice that most of these give some
kind of magical hue.
These give some kind of magicalhue and with the higher rolls
you can tell that they kind ofhave them parceled out to be
like certain schools of magichave different areas within the
store.
But, this is more magical itemsand jewelry than you've ever
seen in a single place.

Speaker 4 (26:17):
Shopkeep around.

Speaker 1 (26:18):
Yes, there is an elderly man sitting at the desk
and he hasn't said anything yet.
He is just watching you.

Speaker 4 (26:26):
Well, boys, it looks like we got a couple hundred
gold in our pocket that we ain'thave to spend to get in here.

Speaker 2 (26:33):
Micah, I like how you still have all the money.
I have like 13 gold to my name.

Speaker 4 (26:38):
I didn't spend any money.

Speaker 1 (26:40):
You've made money because you've sold stuff.

Speaker 4 (26:42):
I've sold things.

Speaker 2 (26:44):
I haven't got anything here to help.
A little bit of wisdom, maybecharisma well, I mean we do you
got any?

Speaker 1 (26:50):
hymns.
We got any hymns like theunderwear, is it?

Speaker 3 (26:55):
yeah, hashtag not sponsored, like the hair pills
that's where he knows it from.

Speaker 4 (27:01):
Yeah, yeah, get different advertisements.

Speaker 1 (27:03):
Because he's bald and I've got a massive hog.

Speaker 4 (27:06):
That's what it is.
That's what it is.
That's what it is.
That doesn't work apparently.

Speaker 5 (27:18):
Excuse me, this is an absolute pork shoulder.
I'm lugging around.

Speaker 4 (27:25):
I'm a little winded.
I had to pee earlier.

Speaker 3 (27:42):
I'm going to have to regroup after that one.

Speaker 1 (27:46):
I'm going to have to regroup after that one.

Speaker 4 (27:51):
I like how we all knew that thing for different
reasons.

Speaker 3 (27:54):
Oh man, that's so funny.

Speaker 4 (27:59):
Absolute pork, shoulder you know the loin.

Speaker 5 (28:03):
It's boneless for now , for now.

Speaker 1 (28:09):
So he looks and he goes.
Ah yes, gentlemen, God dang,I'm sorry, I'm still thinking.

Speaker 2 (28:16):
It's so funny I'm sweating now.

Speaker 1 (28:18):
Yes, Yep, he goes ah yes, gentlemen, we have jewelry
of all sorts.
Are you new in town?
Yes, gentlemen, we have jewelryof all sorts.

Speaker 2 (28:26):
Are you new in town?
Yeah, we're just travelingthrough and just trying to see
what kind of works out there.
There's a lot going on and,yeah, we're new in town.

Speaker 1 (28:36):
You notice, as you talk to him he kind of twists
his head a little bit, almostlike he's in a little bit of
pain, and then he continues theconversation.
He goes, goes well, uh, and hejust kind of points out and he's
just telling you like, overhere we have some, uh, some
conjuration items, over here wehave some illusionary items can
I do an insight check on that?
like that neck thing yeah, dothat little weird chiropractic

(28:58):
thing from where you climb 21,21 okay, uh, so you notice that
that it was as you guys wereentering he was watching and
then, as you got closer, hestarted to wince a little bit
and it was clearly a reaction ofpain.
You don't know what type ofpain, but as you got closer he

(29:18):
was reacting.

Speaker 2 (29:18):
Okay, so it wasn't a like yeah, we're new in town.
He's like that's the symbol.

Speaker 1 (29:23):
Oh no, no, nothing like that.
He genuinely was reacting inpain.

Speaker 4 (29:27):
Dude, I noticed that too.
Yes, can I walk away?
From him to the other side ofthe store and see if he still
winces in pain when Vance getsclose to him.

Speaker 1 (29:38):
So when you walk away and you get closer, he does not
.

Speaker 4 (29:41):
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, sir, I'm going to yell
over at the shopkeep Do you haveany pyro enhancing items?
I love a good fire.

Speaker 1 (29:52):
Well, we don't have too many specific enhancements
for fire magic, but we do have acouple rings.
And he points and it's a shelfto his right.
I'm going to walk over close tohim and say where exactly.
As you get closer you noticethat he's trying to fight it
back, but it does hurt him againas you get closer.

(30:13):
And he points to the shelf andthere's two rings that have
rubies on them, that are fireenhancing magic rings.

Speaker 4 (30:20):
Which one's your favorite?

Speaker 1 (30:23):
Oh, the magic that I tend to delve in isn't of that
type.
I'm more of an illusionistmyself.

Speaker 4 (30:32):
I have the amulet in this pocket and I'm going to
lean over the counter and askhim if I can check it out.

Speaker 1 (30:40):
Okay, as you lean over, he goes.
Sir, please don't lean on theshelf and he goes.
I'll be right back.

Speaker 2 (30:50):
Do you need some healing?
Do you need a massage?

Speaker 1 (30:53):
Oh, I don't think the kind of healing that you offer
will do me any good.
And he goes into the back andin place is a younger lady that
comes up to help attend, and hegoes into the back.

Speaker 4 (31:06):
Hmm.

Speaker 2 (31:08):
Where was that?

Speaker 4 (31:09):
I think I might know what that was.
Ma'am, how much is this ring?

Speaker 1 (31:13):
Ah yes, I would say.
And then she kind of looks inher book and she goes about 70
gold 70 gold.

Speaker 4 (31:22):
Is that your father?

Speaker 1 (31:24):
Oh no.
And then she just kind of looksand she goes I'm just an
assistant, but she, shehesitates hmm, interesting, is
he okay?
Ah, yes, he's fine, he gets.
Uh, he gets headaches huh andyou guys can roll inside on that
if you want.
I got nat one 25 you youbelieve it you're like those are
some sick-ass migraines 14.

(31:45):
Both of you know it's notheadaches.
He's clearly reacting as Dologets closer.

Speaker 2 (31:52):
Do you think it's the shield?
You have your shield emblem orthe amulet.

Speaker 4 (31:56):
It's definitely the amulet, amulet okay, Well, I
noticed it when I walked over.
But she says he gets headaches.
So what am I supposed to do?
70 gold?
You say yes.
Um, what if we did a bundledeal?
Do you guys have like a bogosell, like a buy to get one?

Speaker 1 (32:16):
we do.
I mean, if you want to buymultiple things, I'm sure we can
negotiate, we can negotiate,perfect.

Speaker 4 (32:22):
Hey, my friend, here's a cleric, if, if you want
, he could probably check on hisheadaches.

Speaker 1 (32:29):
His affliction cannot be healed by clerics, Otherwise
we would have handled it.

Speaker 5 (32:32):
Yeah, big pharma, right?
No see.
If you want, though, I've got acollection of root powders on
me that I use.

Speaker 1 (32:37):
See, that sounds way more up our alley here.
There we go.

Speaker 4 (32:40):
You do root healing.
You do root healing, you domagic, I mean.

Speaker 5 (32:44):
I you a hoodwine.
I kind of mash some stufftogether.
It seems to work out for me.

Speaker 1 (32:48):
He goes, she goes.
Listen, if you would like tospeak to him, you're more than
welcome to.
But, sir, you're going to haveto stay out here.
Yeah, that's fine.

Speaker 4 (32:58):
Hey, Vance, do me a favor.
You look cold.
You want to wear my jacket fora little while?
Yeah, and I take off my jacketand I give it to Vance while
they go walk back there to checkon me.

Speaker 2 (33:09):
Do me a favor while you're here.
Look at some wisdom.
Boon any items that would boostthe wisdom.

Speaker 4 (33:15):
Yeah, I'll talk to this nice lady out here.
I'll put together a bogo.
Now, ma'am, I got 125 gold.
What you want to do here?
I 25 gold.
What you want to do here?
I want that ring.
What else can you got?
I want some smart stuff.
I want some strong stuff.
I want some mediocre stuff.
He likes roots and powders andstuff.
He's a new friend of mine, yougot any like little weird snuff
rings or anything like that.

Speaker 5 (33:37):
I don't need any jewelry.
All right, I don't wear it.

Speaker 3 (33:41):
I don't want any trackers on me.

Speaker 4 (33:43):
You that's where they get you Wherever we go.
You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 (33:46):
He's got it.
He knows what I'm talking about.
You understand, right?

Speaker 2 (33:49):
You get it While you haggle you guys head to the back
and I'm walking in the backlike I'm eight years old,
wearing my dad's smooch coat,because it's already a
three-quarter length jacket onme.
Yeah, definitely too long.
It's dragging the ground.
Yeah, I look like I'm floating.
He looks like he's one of thelittle rascals in a jacket I

(34:12):
gotta sneak into a movie later,but my my two dwarf buddies
haven't shown up yet to stack on, so when, uh, when you walk in
the back, you notice, and in abooming voice, only in the two
of yours head, as soon as youcross that threshold, leave okay
, hey, you all right but itsounded like it was in pain, so

(34:36):
you can tell that it was comingfrom the old man hey, old, old
man, why, why do you hurt?
so I, I travel the lands, I tryto do good and help.

Speaker 1 (34:45):
So and he goes.
Whatever it is that you have onyou that is causing this pain
needs to stop.

Speaker 2 (34:55):
I have a sick-ass jacket on.

Speaker 1 (34:56):
Or we will deal with it.

Speaker 2 (34:58):
Alright, I just out of the back room.
Your jacket just goes whew likeback to you.
Just throw it to you.

Speaker 4 (35:05):
Alright, I catch it and I look at her and I look
back at the jacket.
It seems like we've alreadyreduced his pain dramatically.
That's got to be worth anotherdiscount.
Ah, okay All right.
I thought you were going forinformation.

Speaker 2 (35:23):
I'm trying to help him.

Speaker 1 (35:24):
Yes, in the back, so we'll get back with you, dolo.

Speaker 2 (35:28):
It's a bit of a scientific method.
You got to figure out what'sgoing on to really eliminate
some causes.
Sorry about that.

Speaker 1 (35:34):
The lady looks at Dolo and goes well, if you want
to leave your jacket out here,you're more than welcome to
speak to him as well.

Speaker 4 (35:42):
No, I'm good.

Speaker 1 (35:52):
And I put my jacket back on.
Yeah, that's how they get allthe jewelry, hey, uh.
So when you make it back, uh,you notice that he's sitting at
a desk going through some papersand he has a bunch of jewelry
around him.
Uh, and when you enter, thedoor shuts and locks behind you
oh, we're didn't like that yeahum it's one of those parties.

Speaker 5 (36:05):
That's not good, oh all right.
Well, it's either going to goreal good or real bad.
Yeah, he hits a little buttonunder his desk.

Speaker 1 (36:10):
It's getting real creepy.

Speaker 5 (36:10):
Oh, that's okay, I don't like that.

Speaker 1 (36:13):
Nobody has an under desk button, for good reasons
unless it's a bank.

Speaker 2 (36:16):
Do you see lights dim and music start to play?
Yeah, just baby lotion.

Speaker 5 (36:21):
Oh, okay, well, hey, still open for suggestion here.

Speaker 1 (36:25):
No, he does lock the door with magic and he goes.
What could you two gentlemenpossibly have to do with me, and
why are you bringing necroticmagic into my store?

Speaker 5 (36:36):
Listen, I just met these guys, but I saw a guy in
pain.
I want to help out if I can.

Speaker 2 (36:42):
That's kind of why I'm back here.

Speaker 1 (36:46):
And he goes.
The one type of magic we do notdeal with here is necrotic.
So if you're trying to peddlenecrotic magic here, you can
leave.

Speaker 2 (36:53):
I don't believe we are.

Speaker 1 (36:54):
I found that in a cave and then he looks puzzled
and he goes to the south of hereyeah and then he goes back and
he starts writing in his bookagain and he goes what, what,
what, what could any of you wanthere?

(37:16):
Like what brings you here?

Speaker 2 (37:18):
uh, well, originally I was gonna get some pastries
because we need to talk tosomebody, uh, and I always like
to start off on a good foot, soI was like we'll go down to the
docks see if they have like aday old crispy creams or
anything like that.
Uh and uh.
Then we met that guy hey and uh, and now we're just kind of in
here, so we're figuring it outas we go.

Speaker 1 (37:41):
So you're just a few gentlemen traveling around in
the slums of Kerr Hill withcontraband, necrotic goods.
Hey, are you a cop?

Speaker 2 (37:52):
Yeah, I mean it turns out.
Yes, we're like the freeformjazz travelers.

Speaker 5 (37:59):
Don't tell them too much now, okay.

Speaker 1 (38:00):
Because you might be a cop Are you a cop, I'm not a
cop.

Speaker 5 (38:03):
Oh sure.

Speaker 1 (38:04):
However, I don't necessarily want to be caught in
the situation where a Fed doesshow up with banned goods.
And I'm not talking about thebanned goods that they're okay
making it to the politicians.

Speaker 5 (38:16):
You're talking about the real crazy stuff.

Speaker 1 (38:18):
Yeah, the no trial execution type shit oh all right
, spicy, I like it.
Then you can get the hell outof my store.
Oh sorry.

Speaker 5 (38:29):
I thought we were vibing there for a second.

Speaker 1 (38:30):
No, no no, you get that necrotic shit out of here.

Speaker 2 (38:32):
Yeah, it dates over there, Don't worry about it.
So why does it affect you so?

Speaker 1 (38:36):
Well, I, thinking that it was a good idea many
years ago, thought, oh, I couldkeep away and just do the normal
illegal stuff if I gave myselfa condition to where, if
necrotic magic gets around me, Ican detect it.
So it causes me pain the closerit gets to me.
Oh interesting, so it's kind oflike drinking yourself out of a

(38:58):
liquor you know what.
Yeah, but that's way sadder, oh.

Speaker 5 (39:01):
Jesus Christ man.

Speaker 2 (39:06):
Wow.

Speaker 5 (39:06):
We all live the life, don't worry about it.
Hey listen, I'm not here toyuck anybody's yum dude.

Speaker 2 (39:10):
Okay, I just want to make sure you aren't in an
ailment or cursed or anythinglike that.
I just want to make sure.

Speaker 1 (39:16):
No, but if you are looking to deal with necrotic
magic, then I do know of a placethat you can go, especially if
you're trying to get rid of it.

Speaker 2 (39:24):
I yeah, I think we are.

Speaker 1 (39:26):
He goes my assistant out there.
She works for Silva, which I'mgoing to say Dudley, you
definitely know who that is.
Yeah, I know that person, theperson at the end of the hallway
that works for the head honcho.

Speaker 5 (39:44):
Yeah, biggin, that's Silva.
Biggin works for Silva.
Yeah, that's Silva.

Speaker 1 (39:49):
Silva is a name that is not spoken lightly.
Sure, because if you sayanything wrong then you're not
going to last very long he goes.
I know an associate of Silvathat deals specifically in these
goods.
They used to not, they are nowacquiring them, so I'm not sure
why, but if you would like, myassistant out there can get you

(40:11):
in contact with Silva.

Speaker 2 (40:16):
Would you be able to tell us what it is?

Speaker 1 (40:20):
I could not.
I don't deal with necroticmagic.
All I know is that it is anincredibly strong necrotic magic
Because normally when it's inmy presence it's more of just
like when you get an itch it'snot really pain.

Speaker 2 (40:33):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (40:34):
But the moment the three of you entered this store,
it was a pain shooting up myspine.

Speaker 2 (40:41):
Do you know anyone that we can go uh talk to to get
this identified?

Speaker 1 (40:44):
that way, we uh we know what we're doing well, that
would be well before himbecause like before silva, yeah,
before her yeah her, yeah,sorry, I am problematic no, no
you're not from the town, it'sno big deal it's no big deal I.
I had a.
Uh, never mind, I was gonna gooff on a tangent.

Speaker 2 (41:00):
It wasn't worth it it was misogynistic of me to think
the big person in charge was aman, that's my fault.
I have a lot of unlearning todo.
I'm working on it.

Speaker 1 (41:07):
Oh, you're digging yourself into this hole.
Yeah, no, no, no.

Speaker 2 (41:11):
I mean you should be allowed to admit when you're
wrong.

Speaker 1 (41:16):
Yeah, yeah, Because then you don my associate out
there would be able to get youin contact with some of Silva's
workers, All right, or she mightbe able to help herself, but
without me acknowledging it, shewill pretend like she's just my
assistant.
Silva really keeps keeps a tabon things Every, every single

(41:36):
store.
Just be careful Every storethat you're in will probably
have a Silva employee justposing as a shopkeep to make
sure that nothing like this doeshappen.

Speaker 2 (41:46):
Alright, cool.
So you two aren't dating oranything?

Speaker 1 (41:49):
No, we cut to this assistant talking to Dolo.

Speaker 4 (41:56):
I'm leaned in on her like, alright, so check it out,
baby girl, I'm gonna just do shegoes.

Speaker 1 (42:00):
Before you say anything, I have to ask what's
in that jacket?

Speaker 4 (42:05):
me of course I mean, if you want me out of the jacket
, I can be out of the jacket oh,she leans in, she goes I want
you out of that jacket.

Speaker 1 (42:15):
Nah, you don't want me out of this tell you what I
come out of everything but thisjacket.
How you feel about that?
I would rather you keepeverything on but that jacket
yeah, that's probably true, andthe way the way that she's
saying it is getting more likedemanding like I.
You're gonna need to take thatjacket off I know that you say

(42:38):
jack it off.

Speaker 4 (42:39):
I like the way you say that that's just something
about the way you say it.
I like it.
Something about the way you sayit.
I like it All right.
So, look, this is what I want.
I like that pearl necklace overthere.
I could hook you up with onetoo, but I like that one over
there.
And I really like this rubyring right here.
And is that a jade belt bucklewith a dragon on it?

Speaker 1 (43:02):
Sir, give me your fucking jacket.
I tell you what.
Or look, you can keep thejacket, just give me whatever is
in it.
That's causing that old man.

Speaker 4 (43:12):
Oh no, I can't give you that.
I could leave as soon as yougive me the discount we talked
about for the three items I'masking for.

Speaker 5 (43:20):
Well, I can asking for.

Speaker 1 (43:23):
Well, I can give you.

Speaker 4 (43:26):
Or I got a third option.
What if I burn thismotherfucker down and I take
everything I can before you cangrab me?

Speaker 1 (43:33):
She sets a wand on the table and she goes.
Oh shit, the safety's off on ittoo.

Speaker 2 (43:40):
Hammer's back.

Speaker 1 (43:42):
And she goes.
Honestly, sir, it would beinteresting to see you try.

Speaker 4 (43:47):
I knew I liked you.
I knew it.
What's your name?
That doesn't matter it doesmatter.

Speaker 1 (43:52):
How about this?
If we're haggling, you give meyour fucking jacket and I will
tell you my name.

Speaker 4 (43:58):
No, we're not haggling, and I'm going to be
nice and I'm not going to callyou out your name.
So here's what we're going todo.
That's your wand, and when Ipoint at it, I light that
motherfucker on fire.
It doesn't work.

Speaker 2 (44:14):
At this point we come out the back and I'm like.
Dolo careful we shouldn't befucking, oh no.

Speaker 5 (44:19):
Oh, wow.
If only you'd been a fly on thewall, brother.

Speaker 2 (44:22):
Hey, we're just goofing.

Speaker 5 (44:27):
He's just a goofy guy , we're just playing around,
okay.

Speaker 2 (44:31):
Come on, you like that thing he did.
It was goof.

Speaker 1 (44:33):
Oh, so I can have what's in the jacket.
No, oh, we didn't say that.
I don't even know these guys.

Speaker 2 (44:39):
Ironically though, yeah yeah, first of all, we just
met him today.
Don't throw him under the bus.
Uh, oh, thank you appreciatethat uh, but yeah, we uh.
We're new in town nice to meetyou uh, vance, I go to shake her
hand she doesn't reach out.
Nice to meet you, good, um,well, actually we're trying to
figure out what that is, and wewere working our way on the way
to your boss, so that actuallyis pretty convenient and I go.

Speaker 4 (45:04):
so that wand there, that's yours.
It seems pretty strong, itlooks familiar.
Do I recognize her wand at all?

Speaker 1 (45:12):
Give me a history check, but probably not.

Speaker 2 (45:16):
And the goodly gentleman in the back did say we
get a three item discount, sowe gotta keep that in mind
during all this.
Where did we land with thatplus two wisdom?

Speaker 1 (45:26):
ring.
I don't think any of you haverealized I don't fucking work
here.
I'm more of a glorifiedbodyguard.
To figure out what that?

Speaker 4 (45:33):
is yeah, you like the dudes outside.

Speaker 1 (45:36):
No, I actually do work here, not here, but here.
You get it Like in the area man.
You get weirder and weirder bythe minute.

Speaker 4 (45:45):
I swear.

Speaker 1 (45:46):
The old man's voice goes Elf, please step to the
back of the room.

Speaker 2 (45:51):
He named her Elf.
That's fucking crazy.

Speaker 1 (45:53):
No, no, no, he's talking to you.
Oh you Sorry.

Speaker 2 (45:56):
He's got a name.
I didn't get it.

Speaker 4 (46:00):
He ain't gonna get it neither.
What's up, you want me to goback there with him?

Speaker 1 (46:03):
No, no, Back to the door Because he's trying to come
out and talk but, it causes himphysical harm.

Speaker 2 (46:09):
I thought he was summoning.
I was like that's a bold move,or just suddenly racist against
elves Out of nowhere.

Speaker 4 (46:15):
Well, so here's what I'm going to do.
I'm going to look with her,take my little gold satchel and
I'm going to toss it over toVance and I'm going to just
slide out the door and I'm goingto wink at her as I leave and I
catch it.

Speaker 2 (46:27):
Everything he does is all cool and cinematic and so
it's like a cool toss and then Icatch it by like oh shit.
Got it, didn't drop it.

Speaker 1 (46:34):
Got it.
So when you step to the back ofthe elderly man comes out and
he looks at her and he goeslisten, whatever amulet or I
guess he doesn't know, it's anamulet whatever magical item
that they have I think would beof great interest to Silva I I
do believe that it should beaddressed to her if you could

(46:57):
make that happen.
And then she looks and shestares you down and she goes.

Speaker 4 (47:08):
Okay, we shall head to silva.

Speaker 1 (47:09):
Yeah, I knew you was leaving with me girl, come on.

Speaker 2 (47:10):
And that's where we're ending the episode and I
turn back like I have somethings I'd like to buy thank you
everybody for watching.

Speaker 1 (47:18):
uh, my name is tyler and I've been your DM and to my
right, oh, I'm.

Speaker 4 (47:22):
Brian Petrie, aka Dolan Sedrin.
Dolan Sedrin, dolan.

Speaker 1 (47:27):
Sedrin.

Speaker 4 (47:27):
You can find me at all things, Brian Petrie Comedy.
Yo appreciate y'all forwatching.

Speaker 2 (47:32):
Hi everybody, I'm Tyson Cox.
I was Van's Ironside, I'm astand-up comedian and, if you
like this show, we have monthlyone the first Wednesday of the
month at Planet of the Tapes inLouisville and then the second
Tuesday of the month at theWhite Rabbit Cabaret and we are
at, I think, gen Con is probablya good time to start promoting
this now.

Speaker 1 (47:48):
Yeah probably.

Speaker 2 (47:48):
So yeah, check us out at Gen Con.
We're doing a bunch of liveshows.

Speaker 1 (47:51):
Six live shows total, three stand-up, two variety
show two Monster Monster,something like that.
Yeah, we'll get you days andtimes as soon as they let us
know, yeah.
And then, last and certainlynot least, our wonderful guest.

Speaker 5 (48:03):
Hey Joe Yeberling I have been Dudley Wayne Budley.

Speaker 3 (48:10):
Louisville, kentucky, a stand-up performer and
comedian sometimes.
So if you're ever in Louisville, check me out at Mr Yeberling
on Instagram and thank you allfor having me on.
This was a great time andthanks for listening.

Speaker 2 (48:23):
Shout out to the Crit Show for.