March 7, 2025 • 29 mins
The central theme of today's discourse revolves around the critical distinction between judgment and discernment, concepts that frequently become conflated yet possess markedly different ramifications on our interpersonal engagements. As we traverse the complexities of our contemporary societal landscape, it becomes increasingly imperative to cultivate discernment, particularly in light of the myriad distractions and emotional biases that often accompany judgment. I have undertaken a series of experimental formats in this new Friday edition, striving to refine our exploration of such profound topics. Throughout our discussion, we shall elucidate the definitions and implications of judgment and discernment, alongside practical methodologies for enhancing our discernment while mitigating judgment. This examination seeks not only to enhance our individual cognitive processes but also to foster deeper understanding and empathy within our communal interactions.
Takeaways:
- The episode delves into the distinction between judgment and discernment, emphasizing their differing impacts on our interactions.
- Judgment is often rooted in biases and emotional responses, while discernment is connected to wisdom and objective reasoning.
- Mindfulness practices are essential for shifting from judgment to discernment, promoting conscious awareness in decision-making.
- The podcast highlights the importance of engaging with diverse perspectives to cultivate discernment over judgment in social contexts.
- Practicing metacognition allows individuals to reflect on their thought processes, aiding in the development of discernment.
- The episode encourages listeners to be mindful of their automatic judgments and to embrace curiosity as a means of fostering understanding.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(01:41):
Welcome to beyond the Breath,the Friday edition of Just Breathe,
where we get to explorethought provoking topics to deepen
our understanding of ourselvesand the world around us.
I have been experimenting withthis new Friday edition for a couple
(02:02):
of weeks now.
And each week I have triedsomething a little bit different.
And so this is another week ofanother little bit of a tweak in
how I'm doing this.
And so I'm just going to keepeach week doing changing little things
until I hit on something thatfeels great.
And feel free to reach out andlet me know what you think about
(02:27):
this new this new Friday edition.
I really feel like saying, what?
A week doesn't even cut it anymore.
There doesn't seem to be aphrase to really describe what we
all have been experiencing andgoing through on a daily basis.
(02:49):
And you know, as we pull apartthe strategy and the noise of this
administration, which I feellike, you know, is actually progress
because I feel for the firstfew weeks we were shell shocked and,
and just, just shocked andangry and frustrated and did not
(03:16):
have a strategy.
So I feel like in the pastweek or so I've begun to see a strategy
begin to fall into place andmore and more people speaking up
in a way that is powerful andthat is an effort and something that's
(03:39):
going to do more than, let'ssay, wearing pink suits to the State
of the Union like so many havealready acknowledged and talked about
online.
That may have been somethingthat would have made a difference
even five years ago, but withthis administration, with these particular
(04:01):
people, it's not.
It needs to be something muchmore disruptive, much more obvious.
And so I have been reallycautiously hopeful to see those types
of things happening orbeginning to happen.
(04:23):
So I thought this would be thekind of the perfect time to dive
into the critical distinctionbetween judgment and discernment.
Two concepts that are oftenconfused but have really different
impacts on our lives and howwe interact with people.
(04:45):
So what we're going to dotoday is just explore what those
words mean.
There are differentperspectives in our lives, in our
interactions in the world, andthen some practical ways to develop
our discernment and start tomove away from judgment.
(05:13):
So we're just going to startright out with defining the two.
What is judgment?
What is discernment?
How do they differ?
So judgment often carries anegative connotation.
It implies criticism or condemnation.
(05:33):
The dictionary actuallydefines it as the process of forming
an opinion or evaluation bydiscerning and comparing.
And psychologists note thatjudgment often stems from biases,
emotion and past experiencesrather than objective reasoning.
(05:56):
Discernment is rooted inwisdom and clarity.
It's the ability to perceivedifferences with a keen insight.
It involves carefulconsideration and measured decision
making.
The philosopher Kierkegaard,who was known as the father of existentialism,
(06:22):
discuss discernment as anessential aspect of authentic living,
seeing things clearly withoutthe influence of societal pressures.
So what does that mean exactly?
In his book, the Present Ageanalyzes the philosophical implications
(06:43):
of a society dominated by themass media.
What makes this particularbook, this essay, so remarkable is
the way it speaks directly toour time.
This book was written decadesand decades before the information
(07:05):
age, this current time, wherelife is dominated by information,
right?
Just information, not true knowledge.
And there is a difference thatwe need to go back to, discerning
the difference betweeninformation and actual knowledge.
(07:28):
So Kierkegaard and those whohave extensively studied his work
have posed similar questionsor questions about this concept.
Like when everything is up forendless detached critical comment,
such as on blogs and cablenews, does action finally become
(07:52):
impossible?
And this was posed by HubertDreyfus at UC Berkeley.
And then another that Ithought was fascinating.
Does mass media, advertising,marketing, publicity, actually suppress
revolutionary thoughts and actions?
(08:14):
So take some time and reallyallow yourself to contemplate those
thoughts.
And if you needed to pause, ifyou want to go back and write this
down, it's also in thetranscript, so you can grab it there.
But just really thinking aboutthe implications all around, right?
(08:39):
The philosophicalimplications, the political implications,
the societal implications of aculture, this culture that we are
currently in, of endlessinconsequential commentary and debate,
one where discernment andjudgment are completely jumbled,
(09:04):
where it's too noisy, too muchjust chaos, to be able to take the
time to pause and discern.
So we could go on down arabbit hole with just that.
I was fascinated.
(09:24):
In fact, I spent so much timejust on this section because it was
so interesting.
But we're going to move on.
So I kind of want to move intothe psychology behind judgment and
discernment, because I thoughtthat this was really interesting
as well, and just helps, Ithink, pull apart these two concepts
(09:50):
that often get jumbled andkind of mixed together.
So judgment often engages thebrain's amygdala, which is sometimes
also referred to as thereptilian part of the brain, because
it's where that fight orflight is triggered.
And here is where emotionalreactions can be also be triggered
(10:12):
on, based on fear, onstereotypes, or on preconceived notions.
Another way to think aboutthis is it's the subconscious discernment,
on the other hand, is linkedto the prefrontal cortex right here,
which governs criticalthinking, problem solving, and rational
(10:37):
decision making.
Conscious, active awareness.
Right?
Three of my favorite words.
So let's take this just alittle bit deeper and just hang with
me for a second, because Iwant to look at the role of cognitive
bias in understanding judgmentin particular.
(11:00):
So, first of all, what iscognitive bias?
Well, it's a general term forany mental shortcut that can lead
to inaccurate judgments ordecisions, often stemming from our
brain's need to processinformation quickly when things are
coming at us so fast.
(11:21):
Right?
And it can also be calledsubjective reality.
So just stop and think aboutthat for a second.
Just.
Just in terms of what we'veall been going through the past two
months, right?
What our brains have had totake in and filter through on a daily
(11:45):
basis.
Confirmation bias is aspecific cognitive bias where individuals
actively search for andinterpret information in a way that
supports their existingbeliefs, often overlooking contradictory
evidence.
(12:06):
Confirmation bias leads toquick judgments based on those existing
beliefs, and it is afundamental attribution error which
makes us judge others harshlywhile justifying our own actions.
I bring this up because we'veall run into this, perhaps in our
(12:26):
own lives, perhaps withothers, and I felt it was important
to kind of connect the dots,to show where all of these things
are connected and how they notonly weave within one another, but
(12:48):
also how they can be pulledapart, right?
How awareness and activeeffort can pull this apart.
So how can we learn to shiftfrom judgment to discernment?
One of the biggest ways we cando that is through mindfulness.
(13:11):
Now, if you've been listeningto me, to this podcast for any amount
of time, you know that I lovemindfulness practices.
There are a million and oneyou can choose from any.
Everything from takingmindfulness moments, a moment to
take a breath, a moment tojust look away from your computer
(13:36):
or your writing, or walkoutside, take your shoes off, walk
through the grass, reconnectto nature, reconnect to yourself.
You can Google it and findprobably more than a million and
(13:57):
one things.
You can go in the app Storeand buy a ton of great apps to help
you learn how to practice mindfulness.
I could spend many, manyepisodes just talking about mindfulness,
but that is probably thenumber one way that you can shift
(14:20):
your thinking from judgment,automatic judgment, to discernment.
The second way ismetacognition, which is thinking
about our thinking, right?
Doing that deeper, morepersonal work where we take that
(14:41):
time to pull apart why wethink the way we think, where that
came from, when did that begin?
That way.
And it really allows you to,you know, the time and space to go
deeper into who you are.
(15:05):
Obviously, something thattakes some time and something that
does take some effort.
However, there is a book thatwas written.
It's called mindsight by Dr.
Daniel Siegel.
And in it, he teaches a.
The healing power of thispotent skill called mindsight that
(15:27):
allows you to make positivechanges in your brain.
And it is absolutely fascinating.
And again, you know, if youare one who learns well by reading
and can kind of teachyourself, walk yourself through processes,
(15:48):
I highly recommend this book.
The way that he has integratedbrain science into the practice of
psychotherapy is fascinating.
And then the third way that wecan learn to shift from judgment
to discernment is with curiosity.
And, you know, this is anotherone of my favorites.
(16:12):
When we take a moment to pauseand be curious, it pulls us out of
that fearful, snap judgment,or staying almost like curled up
in a ball of, like, this is.
(16:32):
This is what I know, and this.
I can't think any other way.
When you allow yourself thatmoment to pause and just wonder,
right?
I wonder why it shifts you outof that fearful survival thinking
(16:53):
to that conscious, active awareness.
So, mindfulness,metacognition, curiosity.
So what are the real worldimpacts of judgment versus discernment?
Well, I mean, most of theseare going to come as no surprise
(17:17):
to you, but I just thought itwas really interesting to put them
up side by side and tocompare, contrast them in this way,
especially with relation tosocial interactions and relationships.
So judgment in socialinteractions leads to misunderstandings,
(17:43):
it leads to conflicts, social divisions.
We've seen a little bit of that.
Right.
Discernment in relationshipshelps us set healthy boundaries without
hostility.
And this is something I'mgoing to get into in another episode,
actually in a full workshop,because this piece here is so important,
(18:11):
and it is something that is souseful for all of us right now.
So really thinking about this.
It helps us set healthyboundaries without hostility, being
discerning.
It helps us choose who totrust based on observed behaviors.
(18:33):
Right.
Rather than snap judgments.
And then I just thought itwould be really, really interesting
to look at how discernmentspecifically can foster empathy and
stronger connections.
And a couple of examples thatare really specific to the LGBTQ
(18:56):
community, to the ally beingan ally.
So here's the first one.
So here's the judgmentspecific to the LGBTQ community.
Someone assumes a person'sgender identity or sexual orientation
based on.
On stereotypes rather thanlistening to their lived experience.
(19:20):
The discernment piece of that.
Right.
The other side of that coin, discernment.
Taking time to understandLGBTQ identities and experiences
without preconceived notions,which leads to informal allyship
and support.
Now I want to this issomething again we could talk a really,
(19:43):
really long time about becauseI know that you know when you say
things without preconceived notions.
Well, everyone haspreconceived notions.
They have biases.
Right?
That's another way of saying this.
This is something that takestime to unlearn.
I believe you can bediscerning while unlearning.
(20:07):
So just know that there is alot of room for grace within all
of this.
The second example is around allyship.
So the judgment example is anally feels defensive when corrected
about using incorrectterminology and assumes they are
(20:28):
being unfairly criticized.
Way to look at this from adiscerning angle would be recognizing
that being corrected is anopportunity for growth and listening
with humility to become a ally.
And then an example from thegreater our greater socio political
(20:53):
environment.
Judgment would be dismissingan opposing political view as ignorant
or malicious withoutunderstanding the root concerns behind
it.
So how do we do that?
Being discerning and notjudging this is hard, but it's so,
(21:19):
so important.
Engaging respectful discourse,being able to ask clarifying questions
and recognizing the complexityand the nuances of sociopolitical
issues.
This does not mean that you'regoing to change who you are, but
(21:45):
it does allow you to grow yourcapacity for holding lots of different
human beings.
Right?
And that's what we're tryingto do here.
So again, this is a process.
(22:08):
This isn't going to happen overnight.
These are all pieces just totake into consideration.
Okay, so how do we cultivatethis discernment over judgment?
(22:30):
Like I said before, wepractice mindfulness.
Observe your thoughts withoutreacting impulsively.
Ask questions before forming opinions.
Do I have all of the information?
Am I making an assumption oram I seeking understanding?
(22:51):
Embrace curiosity over certainty.
The whole idea of that growthmindset versus the fixed mindset.
Engage in self reflection.
You know, I love this one.
Journaling, meditating.
There are so many ways thatyou can do this, even just, you know,
(23:14):
meditation.
I have to say just a totalaside here, but for those who struggle
with meditation, know thatmeditation takes lots of different
forms.
And one of them that I havefound to be very helpful for myself
is walking and allowing myselfto be in nature.
(23:36):
Be moving while reflecting,allowing the self reflection process
to occur.
The downside of that is nothaving, you know, anything with me
necessarily to write on whenthings come to me.
But oh my goodness, definitelyjust know that you can add that to
your, your list of things thatyou, the ways that you can self reflect
(24:01):
and then another is tosurround yourself with diverse perspectives.
I know it can be hard andhonestly, I know right now that it's
is particularly difficult toexpose ourselves to some of the viewpoints
(24:25):
that are just way, way out there.
So this is something that Ireally, I honor and I ask you to
honor in yourselves how muchtime you can do this.
And if there are days that youjust know that it's not good for
(24:46):
your mental health to do it,that you're on overload or overwhelm,
taking care of yourself withinthis is so much more important.
I only offer this as anencouragement, as a goal for down
(25:09):
the road.
And it's kind of a let's getback to the place where the different
viewpoints aren't ones thatare hurting others, right.
That are dangerous, that arecausing destruction.
(25:30):
I think those are the thingsthat are causing us so much pain
right now.
So just know that Iacknowledge that.
And again, there's so muchnuance within all of these.
And so be kind and gentle toyourself as you are figuring out
what works for you.
(25:51):
Days inspired action, which iswhat I'm calling it this week.
I'm still working with, withwhat I want to call this, but I would
love for you to either reflecton a recent situation or take the
time in the next week to bereally, really aware of situations
(26:13):
that you come into contactwith where you notice yourself, whether
you lean toward judgment rightaway or whether where you are with
discernment.
And so this is really kind ofpractice and awareness and seeing
(26:34):
what your natural inclinationis and think about how you know,
if you really like the waythat you're approaching it, if you
could approach it differentlyand if you could approach it differently,
how would you approach it differently?
So I just encourage you to bemindful of your thought processes
(27:01):
throughout the day, to bemindful of what you are taking in.
And even within that rightnow, practice discernment and your
intake of information.
Right?
The intake of just all of thenoise that's around us.
(27:26):
There's a way right there topractice that discernment.
So I thank you so much fortuning in today, for being with me
today, and I'd love to hearyour thoughts on the new Friday series
that I'm doing.
And if you have ideas ortopics that you would like for me
(27:47):
to cover, please let me know.
And I just ask that yousubscribe to the show, that you follow
the show and that I lookforward to connecting with you out
there within social media andemail and all the things until next
(28:09):
time.
Welcome to beyond the Breath,the Friday edition of Just Breathe,
where we get to explorethought provoking topics to deepen
our understanding of ourselvesand the world around us.
I have been experimenting withthis new Friday edition for a couple
(02:02):
of weeks now.
And each week I have triedsomething a little bit different.
And so this is another week ofanother little bit of a tweak in
how I'm doing this.
And so I'm just going to keepeach week doing changing little things
until I hit on something thatfeels great.
And feel free to reach out andlet me know what you think about
(02:27):
this new this new Friday edition.
I really feel like saying, what?
A week doesn't even cut it anymore.
There doesn't seem to be aphrase to really describe what we
all have been experiencing andgoing through on a daily basis.
(02:49):
And you know, as we pull apartthe strategy and the noise of this
administration, which I feellike, you know, is actually progress
because I feel for the firstfew weeks we were shell shocked and,
and just, just shocked andangry and frustrated and did not
(03:16):
have a strategy.
So I feel like in the pastweek or so I've begun to see a strategy
begin to fall into place andmore and more people speaking up
in a way that is powerful andthat is an effort and something that's
(03:39):
going to do more than, let'ssay, wearing pink suits to the State
of the Union like so many havealready acknowledged and talked about
online.
That may have been somethingthat would have made a difference
even five years ago, but withthis administration, with these particular
(04:01):
people, it's not.
It needs to be something muchmore disruptive, much more obvious.
And so I have been reallycautiously hopeful to see those types
of things happening orbeginning to happen.
(04:23):
So I thought this would be thekind of the perfect time to dive
into the critical distinctionbetween judgment and discernment.
Two concepts that are oftenconfused but have really different
impacts on our lives and howwe interact with people.
(04:45):
So what we're going to dotoday is just explore what those
words mean.
There are differentperspectives in our lives, in our
interactions in the world, andthen some practical ways to develop
our discernment and start tomove away from judgment.
(05:13):
So we're just going to startright out with defining the two.
What is judgment?
What is discernment?
How do they differ?
So judgment often carries anegative connotation.
It implies criticism or condemnation.
(05:33):
The dictionary actuallydefines it as the process of forming
an opinion or evaluation bydiscerning and comparing.
And psychologists note thatjudgment often stems from biases,
emotion and past experiencesrather than objective reasoning.
(05:56):
Discernment is rooted inwisdom and clarity.
It's the ability to perceivedifferences with a keen insight.
It involves carefulconsideration and measured decision
making.
The philosopher Kierkegaard,who was known as the father of existentialism,
(06:22):
discuss discernment as anessential aspect of authentic living,
seeing things clearly withoutthe influence of societal pressures.
So what does that mean exactly?
In his book, the Present Ageanalyzes the philosophical implications
(06:43):
of a society dominated by themass media.
What makes this particularbook, this essay, so remarkable is
the way it speaks directly toour time.
This book was written decadesand decades before the information
(07:05):
age, this current time, wherelife is dominated by information,
right?
Just information, not true knowledge.
And there is a difference thatwe need to go back to, discerning
the difference betweeninformation and actual knowledge.
(07:28):
So Kierkegaard and those whohave extensively studied his work
have posed similar questionsor questions about this concept.
Like when everything is up forendless detached critical comment,
such as on blogs and cablenews, does action finally become
(07:52):
impossible?
And this was posed by HubertDreyfus at UC Berkeley.
And then another that Ithought was fascinating.
Does mass media, advertising,marketing, publicity, actually suppress
revolutionary thoughts and actions?
(08:14):
So take some time and reallyallow yourself to contemplate those
thoughts.
And if you needed to pause, ifyou want to go back and write this
down, it's also in thetranscript, so you can grab it there.
But just really thinking aboutthe implications all around, right?
(08:39):
The philosophicalimplications, the political implications,
the societal implications of aculture, this culture that we are
currently in, of endlessinconsequential commentary and debate,
one where discernment andjudgment are completely jumbled,
(09:04):
where it's too noisy, too muchjust chaos, to be able to take the
time to pause and discern.
So we could go on down arabbit hole with just that.
I was fascinated.
(09:24):
In fact, I spent so much timejust on this section because it was
so interesting.
But we're going to move on.
So I kind of want to move intothe psychology behind judgment and
discernment, because I thoughtthat this was really interesting
as well, and just helps, Ithink, pull apart these two concepts
(09:50):
that often get jumbled andkind of mixed together.
So judgment often engages thebrain's amygdala, which is sometimes
also referred to as thereptilian part of the brain, because
it's where that fight orflight is triggered.
And here is where emotionalreactions can be also be triggered
(10:12):
on, based on fear, onstereotypes, or on preconceived notions.
Another way to think aboutthis is it's the subconscious discernment,
on the other hand, is linkedto the prefrontal cortex right here,
which governs criticalthinking, problem solving, and rational
(10:37):
decision making.
Conscious, active awareness.
Right?
Three of my favorite words.
So let's take this just alittle bit deeper and just hang with
me for a second, because Iwant to look at the role of cognitive
bias in understanding judgmentin particular.
(11:00):
So, first of all, what iscognitive bias?
Well, it's a general term forany mental shortcut that can lead
to inaccurate judgments ordecisions, often stemming from our
brain's need to processinformation quickly when things are
coming at us so fast.
(11:21):
Right?
And it can also be calledsubjective reality.
So just stop and think aboutthat for a second.
Just.
Just in terms of what we'veall been going through the past two
months, right?
What our brains have had totake in and filter through on a daily
(11:45):
basis.
Confirmation bias is aspecific cognitive bias where individuals
actively search for andinterpret information in a way that
supports their existingbeliefs, often overlooking contradictory
evidence.
(12:06):
Confirmation bias leads toquick judgments based on those existing
beliefs, and it is afundamental attribution error which
makes us judge others harshlywhile justifying our own actions.
I bring this up because we'veall run into this, perhaps in our
(12:26):
own lives, perhaps withothers, and I felt it was important
to kind of connect the dots,to show where all of these things
are connected and how they notonly weave within one another, but
(12:48):
also how they can be pulledapart, right?
How awareness and activeeffort can pull this apart.
So how can we learn to shiftfrom judgment to discernment?
One of the biggest ways we cando that is through mindfulness.
(13:11):
Now, if you've been listeningto me, to this podcast for any amount
of time, you know that I lovemindfulness practices.
There are a million and oneyou can choose from any.
Everything from takingmindfulness moments, a moment to
take a breath, a moment tojust look away from your computer
(13:36):
or your writing, or walkoutside, take your shoes off, walk
through the grass, reconnectto nature, reconnect to yourself.
You can Google it and findprobably more than a million and
(13:57):
one things.
You can go in the app Storeand buy a ton of great apps to help
you learn how to practice mindfulness.
I could spend many, manyepisodes just talking about mindfulness,
but that is probably thenumber one way that you can shift
(14:20):
your thinking from judgment,automatic judgment, to discernment.
The second way ismetacognition, which is thinking
about our thinking, right?
Doing that deeper, morepersonal work where we take that
(14:41):
time to pull apart why wethink the way we think, where that
came from, when did that begin?
That way.
And it really allows you to,you know, the time and space to go
deeper into who you are.
(15:05):
Obviously, something thattakes some time and something that
does take some effort.
However, there is a book thatwas written.
It's called mindsight by Dr.
Daniel Siegel.
And in it, he teaches a.
The healing power of thispotent skill called mindsight that
(15:27):
allows you to make positivechanges in your brain.
And it is absolutely fascinating.
And again, you know, if youare one who learns well by reading
and can kind of teachyourself, walk yourself through processes,
(15:48):
I highly recommend this book.
The way that he has integratedbrain science into the practice of
psychotherapy is fascinating.
And then the third way that wecan learn to shift from judgment
to discernment is with curiosity.
And, you know, this is anotherone of my favorites.
(16:12):
When we take a moment to pauseand be curious, it pulls us out of
that fearful, snap judgment,or staying almost like curled up
in a ball of, like, this is.
(16:32):
This is what I know, and this.
I can't think any other way.
When you allow yourself thatmoment to pause and just wonder,
right?
I wonder why it shifts you outof that fearful survival thinking
(16:53):
to that conscious, active awareness.
So, mindfulness,metacognition, curiosity.
So what are the real worldimpacts of judgment versus discernment?
Well, I mean, most of theseare going to come as no surprise
(17:17):
to you, but I just thought itwas really interesting to put them
up side by side and tocompare, contrast them in this way,
especially with relation tosocial interactions and relationships.
So judgment in socialinteractions leads to misunderstandings,
(17:43):
it leads to conflicts, social divisions.
We've seen a little bit of that.
Right.
Discernment in relationshipshelps us set healthy boundaries without
hostility.
And this is something I'mgoing to get into in another episode,
actually in a full workshop,because this piece here is so important,
(18:11):
and it is something that is souseful for all of us right now.
So really thinking about this.
It helps us set healthyboundaries without hostility, being
discerning.
It helps us choose who totrust based on observed behaviors.
(18:33):
Right.
Rather than snap judgments.
And then I just thought itwould be really, really interesting
to look at how discernmentspecifically can foster empathy and
stronger connections.
And a couple of examples thatare really specific to the LGBTQ
(18:56):
community, to the ally beingan ally.
So here's the first one.
So here's the judgmentspecific to the LGBTQ community.
Someone assumes a person'sgender identity or sexual orientation
based on.
On stereotypes rather thanlistening to their lived experience.
(19:20):
The discernment piece of that.
Right.
The other side of that coin, discernment.
Taking time to understandLGBTQ identities and experiences
without preconceived notions,which leads to informal allyship
and support.
Now I want to this issomething again we could talk a really,
(19:43):
really long time about becauseI know that you know when you say
things without preconceived notions.
Well, everyone haspreconceived notions.
They have biases.
Right?
That's another way of saying this.
This is something that takestime to unlearn.
I believe you can bediscerning while unlearning.
(20:07):
So just know that there is alot of room for grace within all
of this.
The second example is around allyship.
So the judgment example is anally feels defensive when corrected
about using incorrectterminology and assumes they are
(20:28):
being unfairly criticized.
Way to look at this from adiscerning angle would be recognizing
that being corrected is anopportunity for growth and listening
with humility to become a ally.
And then an example from thegreater our greater socio political
(20:53):
environment.
Judgment would be dismissingan opposing political view as ignorant
or malicious withoutunderstanding the root concerns behind
it.
So how do we do that?
Being discerning and notjudging this is hard, but it's so,
(21:19):
so important.
Engaging respectful discourse,being able to ask clarifying questions
and recognizing the complexityand the nuances of sociopolitical
issues.
This does not mean that you'regoing to change who you are, but
(21:45):
it does allow you to grow yourcapacity for holding lots of different
human beings.
Right?
And that's what we're tryingto do here.
So again, this is a process.
(22:08):
This isn't going to happen overnight.
These are all pieces just totake into consideration.
Okay, so how do we cultivatethis discernment over judgment?
(22:30):
Like I said before, wepractice mindfulness.
Observe your thoughts withoutreacting impulsively.
Ask questions before forming opinions.
Do I have all of the information?
Am I making an assumption oram I seeking understanding?
(22:51):
Embrace curiosity over certainty.
The whole idea of that growthmindset versus the fixed mindset.
Engage in self reflection.
You know, I love this one.
Journaling, meditating.
There are so many ways thatyou can do this, even just, you know,
(23:14):
meditation.
I have to say just a totalaside here, but for those who struggle
with meditation, know thatmeditation takes lots of different
forms.
And one of them that I havefound to be very helpful for myself
is walking and allowing myselfto be in nature.
(23:36):
Be moving while reflecting,allowing the self reflection process
to occur.
The downside of that is nothaving, you know, anything with me
necessarily to write on whenthings come to me.
But oh my goodness, definitelyjust know that you can add that to
your, your list of things thatyou, the ways that you can self reflect
(24:01):
and then another is tosurround yourself with diverse perspectives.
I know it can be hard andhonestly, I know right now that it's
is particularly difficult toexpose ourselves to some of the viewpoints
(24:25):
that are just way, way out there.
So this is something that Ireally, I honor and I ask you to
honor in yourselves how muchtime you can do this.
And if there are days that youjust know that it's not good for
(24:46):
your mental health to do it,that you're on overload or overwhelm,
taking care of yourself withinthis is so much more important.
I only offer this as anencouragement, as a goal for down
(25:09):
the road.
And it's kind of a let's getback to the place where the different
viewpoints aren't ones thatare hurting others, right.
That are dangerous, that arecausing destruction.
(25:30):
I think those are the thingsthat are causing us so much pain
right now.
So just know that Iacknowledge that.
And again, there's so muchnuance within all of these.
And so be kind and gentle toyourself as you are figuring out
what works for you.
(25:51):
Days inspired action, which iswhat I'm calling it this week.
I'm still working with, withwhat I want to call this, but I would
love for you to either reflecton a recent situation or take the
time in the next week to bereally, really aware of situations
(26:13):
that you come into contactwith where you notice yourself, whether
you lean toward judgment rightaway or whether where you are with
discernment.
And so this is really kind ofpractice and awareness and seeing
(26:34):
what your natural inclinationis and think about how you know,
if you really like the waythat you're approaching it, if you
could approach it differentlyand if you could approach it differently,
how would you approach it differently?
So I just encourage you to bemindful of your thought processes
(27:01):
throughout the day, to bemindful of what you are taking in.
And even within that rightnow, practice discernment and your
intake of information.
Right?
The intake of just all of thenoise that's around us.
(27:26):
There's a way right there topractice that discernment.
So I thank you so much fortuning in today, for being with me
today, and I'd love to hearyour thoughts on the new Friday series
that I'm doing.
And if you have ideas ortopics that you would like for me
(27:47):
to cover, please let me know.
And I just ask that yousubscribe to the show, that you follow
the show and that I lookforward to connecting with you out
there within social media andemail and all the things until next
(28:09):
time.
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