Crystal shares some health news and discusses why your closest friends are the worst people.
Episode Transcript
Today I left the hospital with anew word in my mouth.
Aneurysm. A little tiny ticking time bomb.
A little tiny ticking time bomb with hopefully a long, long
fuse. I've been referred to a
neurosurgeon. Luckily I do have impeccable
(00:23):
bone structure and I think I canpull off a buzz cut.
Maybe this bad news it's also good news because maybe it adds
20 more years. It would have been taken from me
abrupt an instant. Maybe it adds 20 more years to
kill darkness with light. 20 more years to kill hate with
(00:45):
love. 20 more years to be brave,to inspire, to witness, to
testify, to watch you rise. 20 more years to double down on
joy, on play, on becoming my most authentic self.
Good, bad, ugly. I just want to be me, know me,
and never be false. I want to give, I want to grow.
(01:09):
I want to show up for others, for myself.
And I do and I will. And I get better at it every
year. Have you noticed that when you
need support the most, the people closest to you often give
you the least? They say you're overreacting,
everything's going to be OK. Are you sure?
(01:32):
They intellectualize it, they dismiss it, or they try to fix
it. It doesn't help.
In fact, it hurts like hell. And I don't think it's because
they don't care. I think it's because they care
so much they can't face their own fear.
Your pain feels like a threat totheir world, so they self
protect and do the very thing that doesn't help.
(01:56):
For those of you who've been letdown by the people you love,
you're not crazy. And it's not always that they
don't care. Sometimes they don't care, but
sometimes they care too much. Sometimes they're just scared.
That doesn't make the hurt any less real, but it explains why
the betrayal feels so sharp. For those of you with morgues, I
(02:18):
know you know this pain. You tell somebody what's
happening and instead of empathy, you get dismissal,
discrediting, misdiagnosis, and disbelief.
But it's unbelievable, even to us who've had it for years.
How could we expect the uninitiated to understand and
(02:38):
believe it still hurts. We deserve better.
And if you're sitting in that hurt right now, needing to be
seen, not fixed, I'm here. I can't see you or hear you, and
I don't know you, but I'm here to witness. close your eyes.
Send it to me over the hive mind.
(03:00):
We're probably already connectedby Wi-Fi.
I'll receive it. I'll witness it.
I'll hold it. Grieve.
You have full permission. But when you take a breath, when
you take a pause from your grief, double down on joy.
(03:22):
Double down on compassion for yourself and for others.
Double down on play, on sunlight, on anything that makes
your heart sing. Get high on what builds you up,
not what tears you down. One of the best highs is helping
someone else. We're going to make it through
this until we die. So let's do it in style.
(03:46):
We're not just, we're not just victims.
We're not just, we're not just victims, y'all.
We're not just. Let me say it one more time.
We're not just victims. We are authors because we
dictate how we react, how we deal, and how we cope.
Today I came home with a diagnosis of a brain aneurysm.
But it's not a tumor. It's not stage 4 cancer.
(04:08):
There's still so much to hold onto.
This is not such bad news. That's my choice.
And because I choose it, I will live longer and better than
someone with a clean bill of health who can't see the good.
There's good in everything. Don't forget.
Even death is precious. Precious.
Without it, there is no life. We are all eating our ancestors.
(04:32):
We're all made of dead stars. So do not be afraid.
Do not shrink. Do not harden.
Do not become resentful or bitter or brittle every time the
world tries to scare you. Declare I am the author, I
decide. Author, I decide.
(04:54):
And give compassion to yourself.You deserve it.
You've survived so much already,and there's more to come.
There's more to come. There's more to come, y'all, but
there's also more to look forward to.
There is. I know it, I see it even when I
can't see it. I just know from experience it's
there. There's there's more to look
(05:16):
forward to. Live life your way.
If you want peace, find your breath.
If you want joy, find gratitude.Jump in cold water, pray,
meditate, fly, kite, make music,dance.
Dream bigger not smaller. Get out of the house, apply for
the job, ask out the cute girl at the grocery store.
Show your wounds. Don't fear rejection on your
(05:39):
deathbed. Just think about who you loved
and who loved you. That's it.
Nothing else matters. And don't forget, first you must
love yourself, because you matter.
We all, we all matter. This whole human family.
Let's celebrate us right now. New month, new day.
Let the celebration begin. This is the first day of all the
(06:03):
time that we have left on this earth.
This crystal clear from more Morgolons.
As always, thank you for listening and stay tuned.
Oh, oh, Oh yeah. One last thing.
I owe a couple of you phone calls, emails.
I apologize. I've had a few things going on,
but I know you have two. That's no excuse not to be here,
(06:26):
to hold my hand out so you can take it and let go.
Send me an e-mail, a reminder, or send me an e-mail for the
first time. More morgalons@gmail.com.
I can't wait to hear from you, can't wait to talk to you.
I can't wait to celebrate what we have still and what we have
(06:51):
still left to do and to give andto become together.
This message was brought to you by Hallmark Cards.
No, I'm serious, you guys. I'm serious as a fucking heart
attack. Well, actually a hemorrhagic
stroke in my case. No, I'm just kidding.
I ain't going nowhere, y'all. It's going to take a ton more
(07:11):
than a little balloon in my artery to Take Me Out.
Shit, I've probably got like 3000 Mortalons up there.
Like just hey, party free rent. Little squatters can't evict
them, so you got to learn to live with them.
And they don't own my life. They they don't own our lives.
(07:34):
That's up to us. Yeah.
They turned my hair into worms. I got to say they won that
battle. Don't see that going through the
appeals court process and getting overturned.
Maybe I'm wrong. Hopefully I'm wrong.
I don't know the future. I don't have a crystal ball.
I'm crystal clear. I have an Obsidian black prism
(07:55):
that I look into to see the future because anybody can see
through a crystal ball. Not everybody can see through
the void and the veil. All right, I'll do it.
Let me conjure my inner Miss Cleo.
Go back and listen to Morgalon Science or go to my YouTube
channel Crystal Clear. More Morgalons is the one that's
(08:17):
shadow band I believe. I have a Miss Cleo video up
still on there. I can't remember if I got really
paranoid one day and deleted allthe videos of me with my face as
if people couldn't find that outif they wanted to trust me.
I'm extremely sexy just as I have claimed.
Oh no, when I was at the hospital, like there was a few
(08:38):
scientists. It's a teaching hospital.
There's a few scientists in white coats that came in and
said, is this the one whose bones are all funny?
Well, it's a very funny case. You see, she's also aging
backwards. And I was like, I don't know,
y'all, It's genetic. Get out of here.
I've got an aneurysm. You're stressing me out.
Anyway. All right, love you guys.
Hope to hear from you soon. We're all alone in this
(09:00):
together. Stay tuned.
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