Morgellons Biopsy

Crystal goes to the dermatologist and shares medicine’s latest epic fail. She also shamelessly promotes her new Medium page https://medium.com/@moremorgellons/the-parasite-pretending-to-be-alive-dispatches-from-under-my-fingernails-59c6e4ca5ce1

Episode Transcript

(00:03):
Hello Morgies listeners. It's crystal clear hosting more
morgal lines this week. I'm seeing the dermatologist
again. The last one said my moles were
probably just overachievers. This one?
I'm hoping they believe in nanotech, photonic herpes, or at
least interdimensional fungus because I'm running out of
metaphors and scar cream. OK.

(00:28):
Hi, good. How are you?
We're going to be a room number 6.
OK, Hi.
Hi. How are you?
Good. How are you good.
So I'm going to listen. She's going to listen.

(00:51):
You're in a patient with. No, I've been here before.
It's just been. A while it's just.
Yeah. Any medications that you're on
or drug allergies that we need to know about?
No medications. I may be allergic to penicillin.
My mom said I had a reaction when I was an infant.
Who knows what that really means, but otherwise, no.
OK. All right.

(01:11):
And then I see we're here today.Just some spots that you're
concerned about. Yeah, have.
You ever heard of 1 to us to buy?
So you can just point them out now because that was going to be
my next question. That's the next question.
So I have had a mole on my abdomen like my entire life.
It looks a little different. So I just wanted to get that

(01:32):
checked. And then I also left of a
concern, but this lesion on my arm has not been it like heals
and then it re erupts and it's been going on for like maybe
like a month or two months even.Yeah, just kind of strange.
Yeah, let's see the little thingon your.
Yeah, so, but that spot on your arm, we may have to take a small

(01:55):
sample of that. That one is.
Yeah, that was kind of worrisome.
Yeah, it's strange looking. It's strange looking and it just
keeps coming and going. Yeah, right.
Yeah. So this area is, I mean, I don't
know if you document where you see, you know, moles and stuff
prior, but it's definitely been there and it's looked similar.
But what's strange is like thesenew things around it, like that

(02:18):
just happened literally like a few days ago.
Huh. Well, this mole looks normal.
OK? I mean, yeah, that looks totally
normal. And I'm not sure if it's just
This almost looks like an irritant dermatitis.
Yeah, I know, but it it's strangely.
Does it itch? No, doesn't itch.
Huh. Doesn't itch, doesn't doesn't

(02:40):
hurt or you know, doesn't flake or whatever.
It's just weird to get like 3 new moles.
Little tiny. Yeah, like.
Little. Tiny.
And then actually, honestly, this being like so much darker
than the other ones, like all myother moles, I kind of was like,
is this normal? That one's OK, too.
OK, good. So that's.
Good. Yeah.

(03:00):
And then lastly, this is, I think a cheery angioma, but it
keeps getting bigger. It's.
Black, yeah. It's so purple.
I know, yeah. It's black, so.
And that I know I've had looked at several times by various
dermatologists, including here, and it's always been diagnosed

(03:22):
as a cherry angioma, but I just don't associate that type of
legion. But being that getting bigger,
you know. Yeah, so you can't, it can get
bigger, like more capillaries. That are involved.
Involved and so it, I mean it looks normal when I push on it
with the microscope thing it does go away like it's supposed

(03:42):
to. So it's all those things.
Yeah, what do you think though? I mean, if it were a mole it
would look pretty odd compared to all my other.
But it's not. It's not a mole.
How do you tell the difference? Because it's.
Purple. OK.
I mean, if you want to look likeit's, it's it's.
Purple, right, right, right. Yeah.
Yeah, and so the moles are, you know.
Black or dark color or? Something like that.

(04:04):
Or so the transom is red, purple, red.
That's exactly. Red or purple?
The spot on your arm, though. Yeah.
What to do about that? I think we need to probably take
a little box. You have it.
Send that. Yeah.
Make sure that that's OK. You look like Marilyn Monroe
today. Oh, thanks.
You look all cute. Thank you, I need to put

(04:27):
something over her. Outfit.
So the one that I was least concerned about, you're the most
concerned about. I'm glad I came.
Here. Yeah, it was almost entirely
gone like a week ago, and then it just all of a sudden kind of
came back and it was bigger and badder.

(04:49):
Yeah. And so that's what I am not sure
about. It might be something called a
separate. Keratosis, I think I've had that
removed before, not the same location, but those kinds of
lesions which. Are annoying.
It might be like an early littleskin cancer.
What when you looked at it, whatwhat what gave you that

(05:13):
impressed like what caused you to it was?
More the history. OK, great.
Like how you were saying it was,you know, it came right back,
right? It's like it's been going on for
over a month. Yes, and it's.
Still. There, yeah, which is weird.
And so it's more the history of how you describe that, what it
looks like. I mean, it could be just a big
scratch, but why does it keep coming?

(05:33):
Right. Yeah.
And so that's really. What the?
What the question is, so there'salcohol and then you don't have
to wash, but you can 123 little stick, a bit of a burn.
It's a lidocaine. Yeah, a bit of lidocaine
epinephrine in there. So that's good.

(05:55):
Thank you. Yeah, you're not going to feel
it now, honey. They were just good.
Oh, do you feel that? Yeah.
How is it possible? I.
Don't know, every time I go to the dentist this happens too.
Like, do you? Have some red hair in your bed?
I don't. I think I do actually.
Because redheads, seriously, they feel pain.

(06:15):
Really more, yes. So maybe that's it.
Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what good.
Have redheads? Skin, yeah, when I was born I
was a newborn. I had red hair, so I've never
heard that about pain tolerance because I think I have a pretty
high pain tolerance, but an anesthesia doesn't often work on
weight. Yeah, local.

(06:35):
And that's that's a red headed trait.
Interesting. Very interesting SO.
Put a little Band-Aid on there and because if it's a skin
cancer, we want to get it early,right?
Smallest bar, right? Right.
You're going. To hope that it's not.
Right, right. So when you.
Guys send it I guess for. Pathology.
Pathology. Yeah.
How long does that? Usually take so it takes from

(06:56):
one to two weeks. If it's bad, they'll get back
with this, probably sooner. If it's probably fine, then
they'll run some other tests on it and make sure it really is.
Great. Yeah, and all that.
Stuff so she can tell you again about we here and everything OK
and it's good to see you. Good to see you too.
You know, This is why I don't trust in doctors.

(07:21):
Not because I think they're evilor in some kind of conspiracy.
I just think incompetent, disorganized.
OK, I come into your practice, they're like, oh, you're a new
patient. Bitch, I've been here like 10
times. So much for reviewing previous
records before the visit. OK, whatever.
Your filing system is wack. I understand then.

(07:43):
I had gone into this appointmentbecause of three new moles that
popped up near an existing mole that were in the shape of a
perfect isosceles triangle. Weird.
When I looked at it under a dramatoscope, there was foreign
objects like embedded in these new mole things.
They just looked weird. I have a textbook right now on

(08:04):
my bedside table, Dermoscopy theEssentials second Edition.
It's a great book. I highly recommend it so you
know what you're looking at and so I do know what I'm looking
at. And I have been keeping an eye
on some moles because as she noted, along with looking like
Marilyn Monroe, I also have skinso fair that it looks like I

(08:24):
should have red hair. I did look up her claim that
redheads have a lower pain tolerance.
Not quite exactly right, but it is.
There is information, research that suggests that the gene that
causes red hair NC1R, the melanocortin 1 receptor.

(08:45):
It appears to affect how the body processes pain and responds
to anesthetics. So if she fucking knew that
tidbit, why the fuck does she just shoot me up with lidocaine?
By the way, can I say she did that incorrectly?
Did it too deep and it's now like extremely swollen still
today from that lidocaine which did not work.

(09:06):
Anywho, so I came in there for the moles.
The thing on my arm was a morgalon's.
I mean, it's a morgalon's lesion.
I think my last episode, the P300 response, the cover art on
that shows some like hot pink, plastic, black and yellow shit
in my arm. That's the thing in my arm that
she actually biopsied. So it'll be interesting to get

(09:27):
those biopsy results back. But here's the thing.
I went to her to get Peace of Mind about my moles.
I do not have that Peace of Mind.
What's the first thing she says when she sees the quote UN
quote, cherry angioma on my legs?
She goes that's black and then she's like, oh, it's purple It's
it can't be a mole because it's purple.
She the first words out of her mouth.

(09:49):
The first words out of her mouthwere that's black.
I do not trust doctors in time for a shameless professional
self plug. Check me out on medium.com.
Crystal clear. I'm telling stories.
I'm also sharing my comments andresponses to other people's

(10:10):
stories. There was a Doctor Who recently
posted Is ChatGPT a better doctor than I am?
This was in response to a bunch of research that just came out
where doctors and AI go head to head on diagnosing and ChatGPT
outperforms human doctors. And I know that may come as a
surprise to you who are not amongst the 800,000 people

(10:32):
killed or disabled by misdiagnosis every year in
America. The system isn't just more
accurate, it's more present thanany so-called expert.
Whoever looked through me instead of at me.
Better at everything. Let's count the ways diagnosing
AI doesn't dismiss rare symptomsbecause they're unfamiliar.
It doesn't pretend you're average.
It models you as a statistical anomaly.

(10:55):
Worse understanding, not a nuisance to shoehorn into.
I CD10 codes listening. AI never rolls its eyes, never
interrupts, and doesn't pretend your lived experience is less
real than their hunch processing.
AI doesn't get tired after 15 patients, doesn't miss a
critical lab at 3:00 AM because it's hungry.
It wants the whole picture. Then it builds a world model

(11:18):
staying with you. AI doesn't ghost you when the
test comes back quote normal. It doesn't discharge you because
your suffering doesn't fit theirnarrative.
It keeps tracking patterns you didn't even know you were
describing. But humans have empathy, do
they? Or did they outsource their
empathy to policy years ago? Because what AI doesn't have in
hormones, it makes up for and availability, neutrality and

(11:39):
endless bandwidth to care about what matters to you, not just
what matters to Blue Cross. So yeah, check out my Medium
writings, you guys crystal clearon medium.com.
Some of it's about morgalons, not all of it.
The majority of it is about AI and other topics that I find
funny or, you know, interesting.So I walked away from this

(12:01):
appointment getting a biopsy of something that I already know
what it is. It's morgues.
I'm pretty sure the biopsy results will come back to normal
because they always do. Mole on my leg is a black mole,
or if it's a purple cherry angioma.
It's kind of both. I don't know.
I went to an expert to get that clarified because I already knew
that shit going in. Listen, I try to give people the
benefit of the doubt. I try to go along.

(12:22):
I try to be understanding. I think I do.
I think I am. But this is a consumer
transaction. I'm not working because of this
thing called constructive chilling.
And no, it's not hanging out with your friends playing with
construction paper, although that sounds like fun.
No, this chilling effect, like you don't want to work in your

(12:44):
profession when you're in your third investigation in four
years. Still no disciplinary action, no
sanctions. But anyway, I have plans.
I will never surrender to insecurity and allow uncertainty
to master me. I'm OK with uncertainty.

(13:05):
I accept it as a natural and normal part of life.
But when it comes to doing business, I expect to get
something when I pay for something.
This never happens for me. And you know what?
I don't think I'm the only one. I thought it was really
interesting when I was when I first got to the dermatology
office and I was signing the papers for HIPAA disclosure,

(13:27):
that kind of, you know, just thepaperwork.
I, I'm that weirdo who sits downand reads everything I'm
signing. And I noticed that in the thing
I was being asked to sign at thedermatology office, there was a
whole paragraph about prohibitedbehaviors, which included things
like you cannot threaten staff, you cannot yell at staff, you
cannot become verbally or physically aggressive with

(13:48):
staff. I'm like, Dang, this must be a
fucking mortal lines hotbed. And honestly, does that speak
ill of us, or does it speak ill of them?
Whatever the case may be, perhaps it's both.
I'm. Sick of it?
I would love to hear your recordings of your doctor's
appointments, which I'm sure areprobably much worse than this

(14:09):
one. There was no outright
gaslighting in this appointment.Well, there was a little bit.
Send me your mixtapes, but do not record in a state where it's
illegal to record with only the consent of one party.
But either get that consent and send your recordings of your
appointments. We expose gaslighters on this

(14:29):
show. More [e-mail].
We record what they try. To erase.