Morgellons in Mountain View CA

Crystal meets a morgie from Mountain View CA. Creepy conversation ensues.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Crystal clear here. You're listening to more more
lines. I've been thinking about exile
and I keep reminding myself, remember, remember, remember CC.
Much of exile is self-imposed. Much of exile isn't a
punishment, it's a habit. You know, we build invisible
walls out of pride, fear, shame,or the myth of self-sufficiency.

(00:27):
Then some of us decorate those walls with diplomas and
Instagram filters. Maybe we call it boundaries,
independence, healing, or focus.But often it's just loneliness.
We exile ourselves from belonging because belonging asks
for vulnerability, and vulnerability feels like danger

(00:48):
in a world that monetizes exposure.
So we withdraw some of us into achievement, into irony, into
survival mode, into the bathroomfor several hours.
I said please put the tweezers down.
Much of exile is self-imposed. That really is the tragedy.
Exile starts as protection, but it calcifies into amnesia.

(01:14):
We forget there was ever a home to return to.
We don't have to. We have a home.
I'm sure you have a home at home.
If you don't have a home at home, will you have a home here?
We all have a home here if we choose to trade our
vulnerability for belonging. Someone who bravely did that was

(01:35):
my next guest, who I'm very, very excited to introduce to
you. Let's hear from Sarah.
Yep. Yep, Yep, Yep, you're a good
swing. What kind of dog did you say was
he's? A German Shepherd?
Oh wow. How long have you had him?
Five years. He was a pandemic.

(01:57):
Dog, you know, he was in it. It's interesting, right?
Because before I adopted him, I had, I've had a series of dogs,
but I had another German shepherd who was also a rescue
and he was awesome. And literally just probably four
or five days before the pandemiclockdown started, he was acting

(02:20):
funny one night. So he took him to the vet the
next day and he had hemo something carcinoma.
So he he had cancer of the bloodvessels.
Oh wow, that's a really rare vessel.
Cancer. You know, the incidence of that
in humans has gone up a lot since 2020.
It's interesting you mentioned. Yeah, So I had to put him down

(02:42):
and I was devastated. And then the the pandemic hit
and then all these like wannabe pet parents because a lot of
them ended up returning their pets, like rushed the shelters.
So I had to go really far away to to get him.
I know, which is fine because hewas obviously meant to be my

(03:02):
dog. He's got a, he's actually got
double hip dysplasia. He's got a lot of problems.
He's a sweetheart though, but hewas like abandoned in the night
drop at the shelter in San Benito County.
OK. And tell me you're in San
Francisco now. Mountain.
View, Mountain View. That's right.
That's right. Google headquarters.

(03:23):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and it's, it's interesting
too, because I, I'm here in 2021and we're in like a trailer park
and they've just built some new apartments like nearby.
But when we first moved here, this was the only residential
thing on the north side of the freeway because it's all just or

(03:43):
not industrial, I guess, but office offices.
And then up at the end is Shoreline Amphitheater, where
they have concerts. Yeah, yeah, OK.
But it was kind of nice because there weren't a lot of like
people about. But that's changed.
They built 2 giant apartment things nearby.
Right, right. Yeah.
So like, what did you move therein 2021?

(04:05):
Yeah, Yeah. I think probably any act to make
up for a lot of past wrongs. My mom bought me this house.
Yeah. My wife and my grandfather

(04:25):
passed away. He had a lot of, like, rental
properties that he owned in LA County, so we had a lot of
money. And so when he died, my mom and
her three sisters that were still living, you know, got the
bulk of the inheritance. Yeah.
And then she, she offered to buyme a house.
And at first they said no, I didn't want to feel like not

(04:48):
indebted, but I just didn't wantto feel like something that big.
And then I talked to my cousin who's like related through her
side of the family, and she convinced me to just let her do
it. Honestly, this is one of the
most expensive areas to live in the country.
You know why not? Yeah, yeah.
It's just hard. Like, I don't, I don't really

(05:10):
like taking from anybody, like anytime.
So I've already got like this weird complex about like, I
don't know, I'm much more comfortable being the giver than
the recipient, which as an adulttoo, or as I've aged, I've also
come to realize how selfish it is to not give people the chance
to be the giver. So I really tried to work on

(05:32):
that because. Yeah.
In a way it's kind of selfish being unselfish to that extent.
Kind of a like Christ like complex in a way like that
you're the one that's always sacrificing and giving.
So in a way, I guess it's still just as selfish as somebody who
only takes. Selfish, but I think it's like
the person who's the giver is the person who has power.

(05:55):
You have something to give, you know?
So I think that maybe it's a comfort zone.
It can become a comfort zone too, you know.
Oh. That's OK.
Yeah, So, OK, so I just, I want to hear all about your story and
stuff. I've, I really, I so appreciate
your e-mail because that was like a good intro, but I kind of
want like I kind of want to learn more what's going on right

(06:16):
now. Like how is it like?
So it started in 2020 or I guessit started it, You're aware was
like 2021? Yeah, that's when I, I would say
that the most like a recognizable Morgellon symptoms
started appearing, you know, rather than the vague like achy
joints and the nausea and the blood in my urine and all of
that and the excessive tiredness.

(06:38):
That could be a number of things.
But the things that were very distinctly like Morgellons, like
started really like after. And I know this sounds like I'm,
I'm probably conflating this, but maybe I'm not.
But it was like within a month or two after I got my COVID
booster and, and I've had no issue with getting the COVID,

(07:00):
which, you know, vaccination, which now I can say that in
quotes. I didn't really understand
pretty much about it at the time, but just.
My. Whole life, you know,
vaccination good. Not vaccinating means you're
being selfish and putting other people at risk.
And during the pandemic, like, Iwas home for maybe a month and

(07:21):
then my boss was like, you need to go back to work.
But it was interesting because we had two initial shot.
It was a requirement to go to work.
I had no problem with it. There were some people who were
being resistant. And I was like, what the fuck's
wrong with that? I'm like, that's retarded.
Like, this is science. Like, wake up, you know?
Yeah, I don't, I don't think anybody really truly knew.

(07:41):
I think a lot of people have shifted obviously since that,
you know, whatever, January 2021.
Oh yeah, it's and there's been alot and it's weird.
Oh, so this is really interesting.
So a few years ago I found a like I guess research paper
online which has since disappeared.
Of course. But I think that you found the

(08:03):
same one because it was South Korea and it was post COVID
vaccination and it was all of these weird photographs that
look exactly like the plethora of crap that has been coming out
of my body for the last four years.
Like fake. Fighters.
Shit like fucking. Absolutely, and I tried to find

(08:24):
it online again since searching like the names of the
researchers. The right.
Journal it was in. I cannot pull it up.
Luckily I downloaded it when I found it.
That's. So I do have a copy of it on my
work computer, but when I heard you mention that I was.
Like. Yeah holy shit, like cuz and
personally is this fake? I I know I.

(08:44):
Pictures are exact. I exactly like, so it's really
weird because it's so weird you mentioned that because I don't
think I did an episode about it,but I probably mentioned it in
an episode cuz I had made a video in like 2022 that had
screenshots of the study with like pictures of the, you know,
objects they found. And I just recently, like this
year, Tom was over at my house and he's like, I have something

(09:06):
in my thumb. It's like hurting, it's hurting.
And like, so we got, you know, like tweezers and we got the
microscope and when we looked atit, I was like, holy shit, what
does that remind me of? I'm like, where have I seen that
before? It's like that fake looking
spider thing. I'm like, that was in that
study. Yeah, and I remember saying that
they did like foot soaks and then all this shit like came

(09:28):
out. And that's for me, when it was
like starting, it was like the hands and the feet.
It was just all coming out of myfucking hands and my feet, my
face. My, my primary thing was my
face, for sure. Yeah, not so much with my hand.
My feet, yes, although I didn't realize it at first.
Yeah, yeah. The first SO some of the first
weird things I noticed. Yeah.

(09:48):
Yeah, 1 was like so I'm my I have brown hair.
It's like a medium brown and I don't have a lot of like body
hair or like I didn't have like hair on my neck, you know, and
I, my, the hair on my legs and arms is like really thin and
light colored and I, I don't getlike, you know, a mustache, you

(10:10):
know, like some women do. It's just genetically I'm not a
very hairy person, but I startedto notice this like dark almost
black hair growing in around like my neck and not like at the
base of my that like underwear like my chin was and like my
ears. And I just like what the fuck is
this? And the texture of my skin

(10:32):
started to feel almost not sticky but it was like tacky.
Yes. Like a waxy tacky thing.
And I was like, what is going on?
Yes, like the claymation, sort of.
Like. Right.
Yeah, yes. And it.
Seems like something that like you should be able to push hard
and like play pressure and roll it off but it wouldn't come off.

(10:55):
Or for me, it would come off andI'd be like, holy shit, that is
a huge gouging scar in my face. Not like, you know what I mean?
It was like it would just look like the most superficial little
like flake or something. And I rub it and it's like the
skin would just like rub away like.
Oh yeah. Just so bizarre and sometimes
like you'd rub it the other direction and then all of a
sudden it would look completely normal again.

(11:17):
Like it would go from like huge gaping wound to completely
normal like depending on which way you pushed skin.
It was bizarre. Oh I've definitely experienced
similar to that for sure. That's.
So weird. Yeah.
So I was sitting in the car one day and I was just looking in,
like the, you know, the sun visor, There's like a mirror
that came in the back of it. And I was looking at it and I

(11:39):
noticed that my ears looked like, they were like, ashen
Gray, like, the color of the skin on my ears had changed.
Yeah, Yeah. And I was like, am I seeing
this? Like that's not right.
I'm like, is the is the skin dead?
Like is this like some kind of? Necrotic.
Like, right Gray skin shouldn't be a thing, right?
Blue, maybe that's not good either, but yeah, Gray.

(12:01):
No, yeah. And it was on like, you know, it
was all over my ears. It's like, that's really weird.
And when I got home and I started looking in like the
magnified mirror, I could see. And this is when I really
thought I was losing my mind. So first I noticed some black
streaks like growing over my ears, but then I realized that

(12:22):
it looked like I had hair that would grow like, you know, in
front of the ear, kind of the top of your ear, like on the
side of your head. And it looked like it was all
being sucked up underneath my skin and being pulled onto the
tops of my ear and growing laterally through the skin.

(12:42):
And that's why I'm like, I must be hallucinating, like this
isn't real. This isn't the thing I spent I
don't know how long, like searching online for anything
like keywords, whatever you knowand.
That's what I learned. Was it painful?
No, there was. It didn't feel like anything and

(13:03):
I was like tripping out really hard.
Yeah, yeah, because you're seeing things that you shouldn't
be seeing. Like you're like, OK, I'm not
hallucinating, but how am I not hallucinating?
Like what the fuck am I looking at right now?
Right. And by this time, like, my
cognitive abilities had really declined.
Like I was very seriously like, struggling every day at work to
like, write emails. How long have you been getting

(13:25):
the shot? Did the symptoms start like
that, Like stuff like that? Well, the minor stuff started.
Oh well. The other thing too is when I
got that shot, I got exhausted for several days and I never
bounced back. I feel like my energy level
never returned to where it was before that booster.
Wow. Again.
Maybe, you know, cut correlationisn't causation I guess, right?

(13:48):
Right. We don't know, but it's just,
it's interesting. It was weird.
Timing. Yeah.
Yeah, I've just, I've heard the anecdotes like more than one
time, you know, like. Yeah, yeah.
And so kind of when I was, you know, tripping out on this and,
you know, I would try to get like tweezers to see if I could
like rust the hairs loose and I couldn't.

(14:10):
And it didn't make any sense. And then I was experimenting
with like cutting alcohol and different soaps as before.
I found like the, the soaps and stuff that I use now.
I One of the great things I found was just like on Amazon,
It was like a tea tree oil toner.
That's BHAAHA and whatever the other AJ is.

(14:32):
But you know that that actually helps me remove a lot of the
stuff that had built up. Yeah, but so I was looking and
then I noticed it. Not just the ear, the hair in
front of my ear, but the hair above my ear.
It all seemed to be sucked underthe skin and down and going
around my ear. Well, I had like what seemed to

(14:52):
be like a zit. It wasn't like on my forehead,
that wasn't healing. And it was like spitting out,
like hard crystals spitting. Like when I would rub it, it
would look like little flakes ofglitter were falling out.
And I'm like, I'm not seeing that.
That's not real. Yeah.
Yeah. But something that looked like a
wooden thorn or. I'm sorry, Splinter.

(15:12):
Yeah, like little sticks. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, and it would heal over andthen I'd be like, OK, it's fine.
And then like 3 weeks later it would just open up again.
And one day like I was like thisthing and it went on for a while
and then I was like, whatever's in here, like I, we need to get
it out. So I started at it with the
tweezers and then I pulled out and I have a picture of it.

(15:33):
It looked like, and now that I'mmore familiar, it just looks
like that, the typical like weird strands, but with like
bundled like it looks like a long string with like bundles on
either side, but down the middle1/2 of this strand was like
bright red that I know you see. Yeah, and the other half was

(15:54):
blue. Of course, classic and patriotic
Morgans there for you. Right, right.
Yeah. And I'm like, OK, there's no
possible fucking explanation forthis other than I have to accept
this is Morgellons. What else comes out of your skin
blue? Like what?
Blue strings? There's nothing else that puts
blue strings in your skin. More got like, hello.
Yeah. I mean, it's so diagnostic.

(16:15):
Like what? How do you know if you have
Morgellons? You got Morgellons all in you
like those. I mean, I don't know what else
to call them, you know, like it's the characteristic thing,
you know, the, the strings that this, the crystal granules, the
it's so crazy. And I mean, there's been other
things like, you know, I have pictures of all of this stuff.
Like sometimes my skin will looklike, it's like loose, flaky

(16:37):
skin and then you pull it off. And one time, like I was pulling
it off, I was looking in the mirror and it was in the area on
the side of my face, like under my temple.
And this perfect, like rectangleof tissue came off.
But it's like gold. Like when the light hits it,
obviously you can look at it from a different angle and you
can't see it. And it didn't look gold when it

(16:58):
was on my face. But when I pulled it off, I have
pictures. It's like this gold, but it's
like iridescent gold. So you can kind of get a rainbow
Sheen, Yeah, if you get the light.
Right, Absolutely, absolutely. It's almost like a, it's like
anti counterfeiting type of liketechnology, like the way it's
like iridescent and it kind of like flashes different colors
like at every single angle or like it.

(17:20):
Yeah. Or like it'll be like 2.
Like I've noticed I a lot of stuff that goes from black like
pitch black to silver or white or white.
Yes, I think. Yep, going black.
To white. Yeah, yeah.
It's so. I mean, if it weren't so
horrifying, it would be fascinating, you know what I
mean? Because it's like there's just,

(17:41):
it is inexplicable. Like, I mean it really is
inexplicable. I mean, I'm still like here I am
like 400 episodes or some shit into this.
And it's like, no matter how many times I like meet people
and hear the stories and learn stuff, it's fucking
unbelievable, like. What is really, really is this
shit. It makes no sense it.
Makes no sense. I think in the e-mail I sent

(18:03):
you, I linked, there's a guy in Germany, it's like Mcgowan's
research org or something, whichof course like you can't pull it
up if you're using like Google search obviously, right, right.
Yeah, because there's nothing comes up.
So, but I found that using DuckDuckGo.
Structure. I guess I just, I, I must Sarah,
be at the point of cynicism where I just don't believe that

(18:26):
like anything like preserves ourprivacy.
Like, I think we're somehow being tracked in one way or
another by all of them. So after I found that site,
which I was like, whoa, this looks exactly like what I have.
And his theory is that it's likea filamentous fungal infection.

(18:48):
Oh, is that a Are you talking about the Carnicon guy?
No, no. Oh, OK.
So no. And Konicom was my my next stop
when I found his stuff. He's actually resonates the most
of me. He's convinced it's a
bioengineered. Yeah, right.
So that it's synthetic biology. Right.
It doesn't seem natural. That's for damn.
Sure. No.
So he, you know, classifieds it as synthetic biology.

(19:11):
And he actually was. What does he call it?
The the end of the day is my brain's a little fried.
It's fine. It's a Monday.
But there's like the the bacteria, it's not multi domain
bacteria. Something like that though.
Because it has, yeah. Attributes of like plant life
and fungal life, but he isolatedit and he's been able to like,

(19:34):
regrow it in the lab. Well, I've seen a couple of
researchers, you know, make thatclaim.
And I I honestly, you know, I want to go back to that one
study we were talking about earlier, the South Korean 1, and
I want to go back to there was another study of some, I think
it was her name was Yan. But she was like, yes, yeah, she

(19:54):
she grew. I think she grew it like in a
hamster or some shit. I can't even remember, but it
was. Yeah, yeah.
She thought it was plant relatedand that like the person had
picked it up like on a trip to Brazil I think.
Yes, yes, good memory, yeah. Oh, I spent hours and hours and
hours pouring over a lot of thisstuff, looking for answers.

(20:14):
You. Haven't we all?
Yeah, haven't we all? I mean, I, I still, you know, I
still spend hours and hours pouring over not looking for
stuff anymore, really. But, you know, just trying to
keep up with whatever, you know,people that call the show or,
you know, stuff like that. But it's like, I find that I
learned a lot more just from talking to people than I do any

(20:36):
of the papers because it's like,yeah, there are interesting
studies, but unless somebody else, like, you know, replicates
them and there's something like some action tied to it, you
know, it's like if no one even believes it's real, then it's
kind of that seems like anythingthat's explained through, you
know, science will be rejected regardless, you know?

(20:58):
Oh, absolutely. And that's a problem too, is
that there's not the right people aren't ever going to do
studies on it. The right people, meaning those
you know with the grants and thefunding.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, we could, that's the
thing. You know, there are people I
guess, you know, doing some studies and they're mostly
people I think that have it. So it would be nice if there was

(21:20):
some way to kind of validate like information.
You know, I, it's, it's sad to me because there's that one site
that has the concept kind of right, you know, where they do
the crowdsourcing and they gather like people that self
report their Morgellons data, but they're just not, they're
just the way you can just tell the way it's designed.
They're just the assumption is that it's a psychiatric disorder

(21:43):
and that's kind of what the focus of their, I think, you
know, data mining has been. So that kind of sucks.
I don't know what that is, but it sounds like maybe it's a good
thing that yeah, they've given them my free data.
Yeah, yeah. The only thing I know is that I
don't know. Yes.
And so I'm open to all. I'm I'm open to exploring all

(22:06):
different ideas. Right.
Whether it's, you know, some kind of engineered biology,
which is what to me seems to make the most sense.
You know, there's the theory that it, like is related to
radiobacteri. Radiobacter.
It's like a Organism that's naturally occurring in soil, but

(22:29):
it's been genetically modified to do like pest control with
crops. Yeah, interesting.
I mean, still, why? Why would we be seeing the
objects we're seeing though? Like.
Site with the German researchers.
So he sent a bunch of the samples in for like DNA analysis
and he's convinced that part of it is definitely related to this

(22:52):
escaped bioengineered bacteria used for crop like agriculture,
commercial agriculture. OK.
But he's his, you know, thing isthat it's like a filament
filamentous, that it's like biofilms growing into these
weird shapes. Uh huh.
OK, interesting. So he has done some lab stuff.

(23:14):
It was older. I don't think he's been actively
posting much. I know his site's been attacked,
same with Chronicom, like his site has been attacked a lot.
And it was interesting because at some point, the highest
number of like hits on his site were coming from the big Air
Force Base that's on the like inVirginia Langley.

(23:37):
Airfield. Yeah, yeah.
And the. FBI, CIA are too right?
Yeah, yeah. So like he was getting massive
amounts of traffic from there and from other like Air Force
Base, Naval intelligence locations, he could see like
from the data that I guess you get from your host, like your

(23:57):
web. Host.
I know I get weird pings on stuff for my audience listener,
like demographics, it's locations and stuff.
It's it's very interesting. There are definitely people, and
I don't think so much now, but like if you go back and look at
stuff from 10 years ago, messageboard posts, Reddit posts, there

(24:18):
are people that just seem to live sitting online waiting for
somebody to post about Morgellonso they can jump in and be like,
you're crazy. That's been proven.
More meth smoke some. More meth. 100% but it's like
crazy, like how rapid, like there's the army and I guess now
it could be bots. Yeah, probably. 15 years ago.

(24:40):
It could have been bots, probably.
It could probably have been botsat least 10 years ago, but like
maybe even 15 honestly, but I'm not sure.
But yeah, no, you're right, though.
It's it's it is interesting to me too.
Like how why is it that Morgellons in particular like
causes so much? I don't know, like almost like
alarm like, or just completely like shut down and like medicine

(25:03):
and stuff. It's just like, oh, well, we're
not going to discuss that. That's, you know, I don't know.
It's just, it's almost like, OK.I don't even see other like
types of delusional disorders being treated with this much.
No. Yeah.
The fake skin. The fake skin.
Absolutely fake skin and then itlooked like there were black
lines. And the other thing that was
weird too and I noticed this like on my thighs.

(25:23):
So it would look like I had a hair that was growing laterally
and it would connect with another hair that was growing
laterally. Like all under the skin
connecting next one. Almost as if somebody took a
needle and thread and did like aseam.
I also have found and it's really bad around my eyes where

(25:43):
it was like the biofilm like makes a crease and seals it shut
so there's like a pocket of likeweird shit and I have really
deep like upper eyelids so like the crease above my eyes.
Yes, yeah, yeah. Yeah, hangs over and that was
like one of my worst areas. I'm pretty sure that was all
grown over. Part of it was like sealed and

(26:07):
there was like it hurt all the time.
There's all this weird, you know, stuff going on.
There was like a solid lump and that's for sure where like the
piece of like foil looking debris that was purple and blue
on one side definitely popped out of my eye.
And it was weird because I was tugging on the eyelid just like
out of desperation and I saw a flash of blue and purple like in

(26:29):
front of my eye. Oh my God.
I also have another thing that looks like and the other thing
too. There's so many things I know
you're bringing. Back so many memory.
Who? Yeah.
Well, it's nice to talk to somebody who's gone through it,
right? Because I I've never had this
experience before. Wow, wow.
You don't know anybody. You don't know anybody else in

(26:51):
your life that has more. That's my mom that I can't,
that's. Right.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I don't know if she really
does and I can't talk to her like a.
Yeah, right, right, right. Yeah, I totally get it.
She's not, she's not somebody that I can have like a
conversation with. I got to the point where like
couldn't drink alcohol anymore, like it I didn't enjoy it like I
did not feel good even if I had like 1/2 a beer.

(27:12):
I know I quit like I've quit. I used to drink a beer every day
when I got home from work, like every day.
And like I, I, I don't, I haven't had a drink in like a
year. I just don't like it anymore.
Yeah, I mean, it's weird becauselike, I used to be fanatic about
craft beers and trying like different styles.
Yeah, so that's interesting. So since has your health been

(27:32):
like other than the Morgellan stuff, has it been like stable,
like better, worse? Yeah, well, with.
The OK, so this is the really weird thing.
So I used to get sick a lot. Granted, maybe it was because I
used to drink so much, but I would get sick and like really
sick for a couple days at a timelike 3 * a year for years.

(27:56):
And I haven't been like sick, like maybe I'll have one day
when my stomach hurts, but like I hadn't been sick really since
I got this. At that point I was chronically
like trying to vacuum and freaking out.
And now I've like calmed down a lot.
Like I was afraid of everything.Like when around the time, like
my ears separated. Like getting in the shower was

(28:17):
like traumatic. Oh, yeah, panic.
Just panic. Yeah, I I had many in that first
what year? Oh my God.
Oh. Laundry was like a whole thing I
would literally get. I've heard people say this
online where it's like a fake seam on the clothes and you
separate it and it's just like glued together with a bunch of
Morgellons fibers inside. Yeah.

(28:38):
Yeah, I'm I'm convinced these things or are in textiles like
they're in the supply chain somehow.
Yeah, well, it's, you know, whenI moved into this house, there
was a washer and dryer that had been here since the 90s and they
broke last year, so I had to buya new washer and dryer.
And I also, I also use Borax when I wash my clothes.

(28:59):
But since then, like, I don't have a problem with any of my
textiles. Well, it's weird though.
Before that I remember like whenI'd get out the shower and I'd
wipe down with like towels. Like it used to always feel like
they were fuzzy or just gross. Like it didn't feel clean now
that I used the Borax and maybe updated my washing machine.
It is so bizarre that people that have never met before,

(29:22):
different parts of the country, different countries sometimes,
you know, like the, I mean, it'sso crazy how overlapping these
experiences are. They're so specific, like
they're so specific. Like it's, it's wild to me.
So it's like, it's definitely real.
And it's so obvious that like, you know, just logically,
there's can't be this many people for 25 plus years going

(29:45):
on about this, having the same stories, the same sequential,
like kind of strange, you know, experiences.
And it's like there's still justno interest at all in like
examining the whole delusional pairs.
Like it's insane. Like one study.
And that's that's why I think that, you know, I think it's a
cover up. Yeah, yeah.

(30:06):
But I mean, that's why I think there is somebody or some some
level higher up that knows exactly what this is because,
yeah, there's no other excuse for nothing to have happened and
that. Reminds me too, but everybody
like just kind of, you know, everybody like kind of just
relies upon that information. Even maybe people that don't

(30:27):
know any longer trust the CDC orthis, you know, it's just crazy.
It just seems like this, especially just it's something
that's so suppressed in a weird way.
Right. And like with like, as I was
talking to my boyfriend about this a couple months ago, he's
like, well, I don't understand. Like, would your doctor be
excited to like, discover this new disease?
And like, would it be easier to find a researcher?

(30:49):
I'm like, no, but you understand, like, first of all,
in the medical field, my understanding is that they're
trained and not even engaged because then they believe
they're reinforcing your unhealthy delusion.
Right, right. So they're not going to listen
to you. They're not going to ask
questions. And they think that that's
helpful. They're not being like,
malicious. Absolutely.
Right. That's just they're training.

(31:10):
They're not bad people. They're just, yeah, they're just
ignorant to what's going on, youknow?
Absolutely. And then on the other hand, too,
it's like there's no vocabulary for this, right?
It's not, again, it's not, it's not in the domain of medicine is
what I'm convinced of. You know, it's like it affects
your body because it's in your body.
But like you wouldn't go to a doctor to like look at, you

(31:30):
know, your car engine or something like this has nothing.
It's it's so clearly like thingshave come out of my body that
are synthetic. Like they look like plastic,
they look like foil. They look like, I mean, I'm not,
you know, you know what I mean? I'm not imagining that.
So that right there tells me right out the gate, like I need
like a materials science guy. Like I'm serious.
Like this is so obviously not originating from my.

(31:53):
It's not keratin in collagen. Like your skin is made of
keratin in collagen, you know. There's within the last couple
months I'm sure I could find it if if it's still there.
Somebody posted on Reddit and they said like that it's
definitely some kind of lino. Chronicom refers to it as a
polymer, but he said that in theUnited States, like testing

(32:15):
labs, like the tests, like plastics, are not allowed by law
to examine specimens of biological origin.
But he said that he sent his like Morgellons exclusions, I
don't know, to a lab in India and that they confirmed that it
was like something that's definitely not like biological

(32:37):
in origin. And I again, I'm not good at
remembering the specifics, but Icould find it if it is
interesting. We all know like, because we've
seen it ourselves, like we don'teven really need a lab to
confirm that it's not biologicalin origin because I had a
fucking neon orange triangle come out of my butt one time,
you know what I mean? Like like that.

(32:57):
Like I know for sure that this like reflective piece of
plastic. I mean, at one point, of course,
like I was like, it's got to be microplastics.
Like they're all over the environment.
We're just, we haven't really studied this and blah, blah,
blah. But even that doesn't, it's
like, no, unless, unless plastics can literally mutate
your DNA and like, change, you know, the composition of your

(33:19):
hair, you know, right? So the hair is another.
And so like my eye, like I said,my eyes are really like one of
my main infestation areas. So many people think.
And yes. And I notice like, I'll get
these like, weird eyelashes, these imposters that grow like
above my lash line, like on my eyelid.

(33:40):
OK, Yeah. And if I pluck them out, like,
you know, my normal eyelash willcome out.
And it's got like the little white or clear fold on the
bottom, like a normal hair follicle.
These ones, when they come out, instead of that, it's like like
a really black like flat thing and I really should have a
microscope. To look at this but.

(34:01):
A lot of it. Well, that's the thing.
I actually bought one from Amazon and I never used it
because I'm like, I'm already obsessed and crazy.
Like I don't need to freak myself out anymore because it's
not going to solve anything. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, but I still in a lot of
the hairs that come on the side of my face also they're like

(34:21):
they're on the hairline, but they're really black and really
thick. And when I pull them out,
instead of a normal hair root with like the clear bold,
they've got these weird giant black.
Some of them look like match heads, like just a solid black
giant match head. And then other ones come out and
they're like a tiny like where the root is.

(34:42):
It like goes at like a 90° angle.
It looks like a check, or even more like a check mark.
Yes, yes, I know exactly what that looks like actually.
And then on my eyes, like what Inoticed, one of the first things
was that I started growing eyelashes out of like the inner,
I don't know what the right words are.
So, you know when you where youreye is closest to your nose and

(35:06):
there's that little like flap oftissue, like skin colored tissue
that. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. So I started like getting eye,
what looked like eyelashes growing out right there at the
corner, like the inner most, yeah.
Corner. It's called the cantham or
something canthas. SO11 night and this is when I
was like, you know, I thought myear was coming off my head.

(35:29):
Oh, I I feel I'm like so there with you like on that.
That must have been. It was a horrifying.
It was like I am living in a body horror.
Movie yes, I mean we've my is a different scene, but it's the
same movie girl and like I know exactly that moment and that
just that Oh my God, do you everfeel so alone in your life as
you do in that moment because you're like this is so this is

(35:53):
so bizarre. I'm no longer in like, the
fabric of reality itself has torn people, you know?
100%. I mean, and it is such a lonely
place and it is so horrifying, literally horrifying.
I just, I'm like sitting with you right now in that like
horror because that that that isa trauma.
That really is a trauma. And I have to tell you, though,

(36:13):
it was like when I was in that darkest place they may have
light because your podcast foundme.
I mean, it really, I, I know that this is like, it sounds
like I'm being dramatic, but it's not like it really helped
me. You know.
Become grounded again and like. That makes so happy because it's
like I have found my sanity likethrough doing this.

(36:39):
So I mean, you know, the people that I've met, it's it's
honestly it. I don't know what would have
happened to me because just being alone with that feeling
that like, you know, your momentwith the, the, the ear, like
behind that moment, you know, like separating.
Yeah. I mean, we've all had that
moment. It and it is like it is such a

(37:00):
scary place to be. And I was like, uh, I'm not.
You're seeing something with your eyes that you.
Yeah, I think it can't be really.
Possible like it? And it's not even just that, but
it's like that. It's happening to your body,
which is the whole other headphone.
Yes, yes. Same time.
You have to like, yeah, it, it is.
It is so rough. So like that makes me so happy.

(37:21):
Like it's, it's just this one like proof that like no matter
what happens, you know, like we'll get through this, you
know, they're they're. Like, yeah.
And then it's valid and it's real.
Absolutely. Yes, cuz that's one.
Of the. That that makes you go insane.
It's just that like, nobody getsit.
Nobody believes you well. And one of your first like,

(37:41):
episodes, you were talking aboutcleaning and you took off your
glove and there was, like, pink Jelly.
Yes, yes. And I woke up one day and I had
pink Jelly like stuck to the side of my face.
And that when I heard you say Hector was like, holy shit.
Like this is very specific. This is very specifically my
experience like. Yes, yes, I know it.
It blows my mind. It blows my mind like each each

(38:04):
person that I meet, I'm like, there's always something new
that like in the conversation, something that they mentioned
where I'm like, holy shit, I've never heard anybody say that
before. But yes, that happened to me
too. And it's still validating.
It's still validating even though I completely at this
point, like and on any consciouslevel, I'm like, I'm not trying
to prove shit to anybody. Like I have the proof.
It is my life, you know, but butI also feel like it, it still

(38:28):
feels validating because of, youknow, like that initial or, you
know, ongoing, you know, rejection of like your
experiences being real when you're like, no, it is real.
Yeah. Like there's proof.
Like I don't know why you won't like look at it or why you know
you can't, you know, accept facts or whatever.
You know, sometimes you don't have proof, but it does.

(38:50):
Like it is real. Oh no.
What is this? OK, let me move.
I looked in the mirror. Let me move away.
Move Step away from the mirror, put down but.
I'm so I had one of those weird eyelash, what I thought was an
eyelash coming out of like the inner corner of my eye.

(39:11):
And I pulled on it with tweezersand this big wad of debris, like
a tangle of multi colored fibers.
There was black, red, Navy blue and clear popped out.
And that was another one where it was like one of the most
horrifying moments literally of my life.
Yes, yes. And it just kind of looked like

(39:33):
a cluster. But then I dumped hydrogen
peroxide on it and kind of started manipulating it and it
looks. I have a bunch of pictures I
like went to work now showing people and like this came out of
my eye because it only looks like a fucking sea creature.
Like it doesn't look like anything my brain doesn't have
like a I know, right? Except for.

(39:56):
Like except for like other you've seen it in the fucking
South Korean paper study or something, you know what I mean?
Like that's what's so crazy. It's like there is physical
matching exact. Like what the fuck is this shit?
Yeah, although this was again before I'd really.
Yeah. Seen a lot of that too.
So I'm like, this isn't what is this?
And then since then, like again,I, I, I've definitely like take

(40:20):
a lot of supplements and mm, hmm.
Mm hmm. See my face and stuff.
So it's not as bad, but even still occasionally like I'll rub
around my eyes and it'll look like a little string with like a
little wad of, as somebody on the Reddit board put it like
play DoH. Like it'll be like green play
DoH. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I get that something like shit underneath my fingernails, like

(40:42):
it doesn't matter how much I wash my hands or like, you know,
try to file my nails. Every time I look down I'm like,
why is there fur growing underneath my nails again?
I'm like, and it's green today. It was great this morning.
Like what? What the fuck is that?
Like it's almost like sometimes it's like hardened like on my
onto like my finger, my nail where I'm like getting out the

(41:04):
you know, the drill, baby drill.I'm going after it because like
it will not come off and it's not like nail fungus like it's,
it's just not like. Right, because it's not the
nails specifically. It's like the environment under
the. Nail, right?
Yes, exactly. There's.
Yeah. Anyway, enough about the

(41:25):
parasite under my nails. So another thing too that is
interesting is when I like, backwhen I was experiencing like the
crawling sensations when I went to bed and I was dismissing them
as just like misfiring nerves from anxiety and stuff.
I also would experience wheneverI was in the shower, the palms
of my hands and the tops of my feet would itch so bad.

(41:51):
And it was like a deep, deep itch that there was no way to
scratch. And I was plagued with that.
And it usually it happened when I was in the shower.
And it's when I lived at the house where we were on
unfiltered well water. Yeah.
That seems to be a link between some reports for sure.
Like I, I mean, yeah, I've heardon like specifically that like,

(42:13):
you know, not having like working well water or clean
water access. And that makes sense.
I mean, God only knows like, butit almost like, do you ever feel
like maybe it's just in everything Like how could that
be? Everybody would have it, right?
Like, I don't know, I just. That that just doesn't make.
Sense to me. Two, it's like, you know, as you
were saying earlier, like a specific, like phenotype or

(42:36):
something that biologically makes you more successful.
Yeah, whatever this fucking hijacking bacterial bullshit is.
It's almost like it could possible.
What is weird to me is the way that it hijacks your attention
like it has the power to almost disproportionate to well, I

(42:57):
don't know, though. I mean, it is because horrifying
things happen there. You really can't even say
anything is proportionate to that.
But like, you know, at least some of the things it's like,
okay, so you know, Crystal, you got some, you know, fluff balls
coming after on, you know, off of you after the shower.
Like if that is, that's it. Like you're fine, you know what
I mean? Like I've been thinking about
that lately too. Like the level of fear, yes,

(43:20):
seems out of proportion at leastthat I experienced the ear
separating and the glob out of the eye.
OK, those are yes, one things, but just like, you know, having
like strings coming out of my skin like that shouldn't have
put me into like little 20 terror panic.
Right, right you. Know I'm gonna die.
This is like I'm so scared like I shouldn't I I walked around

(43:42):
like living literally every minute of my life.
I felt like it wasn't a horror. Show.
Absolutely. Several months and it was.
There are times when it feels like it's almost stalking you in
a weird way. Like it.
Yeah. You know, it's like, it's like
showing up everywhere in the environment and it's, you know,
coming out and like you're like hemorrhaging fucking little salt
crystals and shit and just not even what is going on.

(44:04):
You know, it's one thing after another.
And it's like, what is up with that?
Like, what is up with the way that like it?
It really does feel like it is designed to like hijack
attention. All right, listeners, thank you
for letting me hijack your attention today.
Thank you so much to Sarah for sharing her story.

(44:25):
If you would like to Share your story on the show, we would love
to hear it. Send me an e-mail at
[e-mail]. Y'all, if you like the show,
rate the show, leave a review. I've noticed that the shadow
banning of More Morgalons has increased recently.

(44:45):
I know that this show has been helpful to some people,
including me, so if you would like for more people to be able
to find this podcast so they mayalso be helped, post a link to
the show on Facebook or Reddit or anywhere online.
That I don't go 'cause I'm old and I'm afraid of being

(45:09):
brainwashed by social media. Y'all did I tell you they erased
me from the Internet? Yeah, it used to be.
When I googled my first and lastname, the first image that would
pop up in the search results wasme.
I guess the algorithm detects sexy.
But now I'm nowhere to be found.Not my images, not my LinkedIn,

(45:31):
not anything. Nowhere.
Is there any evidence that I exist except here?
I'm still crystal clear. We are winners, we are warriors,
and we are forces to be reckonedwith.
Thank you so much for listening today.
Have a great Monday. It's the best day of the week

(45:53):
and stay tuned.