Mustard Seed Morgellons

Crystal introduces a new listener story from Morgellons HQ in Mountain View California.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Welcome back. It's crystal clear and you're
listening to more morgolons where faith is smaller than a
mustard seed but somehow still stuck in my skin biopsy report.
You know, they say faith the size of a mustard seed, which is
1mm to 2mm in size. But yes, even with faith that
size you could move mountains. I tried it.

(00:21):
Once, the mountain was a mountain of paperwork at Kaiser
Permanente, and the mustard seedgot lost.
That's not a good example. Still, the CDC ran its.
Big study. And said we only found
cellulose. You missed the point guys.
The miracle's not in the material, it's in the fact that
it keeps growing. Maybe that's what we are, the
mustard seeds of biology's next chapter.

(00:42):
Too small to see, too weird to believe, and definitely not
covered by insurance. The moral of The Mustard Seed
isn't believe harder, it's don'tunderestimate what the system
calls negligible. Every paradigm starts as a
speck. Every speck looks like dirt
until it sprouts and then suddenly everyone's like, Oh no,

(01:03):
look at that faith-based botany project.
No, look at the people who refuse to stay buried.
Anyway, we're going to have a great episode today.
Thank you for listening and staytuned.
All right, listeners, I want to share with you an e-mail I got
from a listener. This is on Monday.

(01:23):
All right, today's Wednesday. Hi, Crystal. 1st and most
importantly, I want to say thankyou.
So thank you. Words can't do enough to express
how much I appreciate you. I don't have a way to convey
without sounding overly dramatichow much your podcast helped
when I was in the darkest pit ofdespair, feeling more alone than
at any other time in my long andstoried life.
I just turned 50. I want to share my story but

(01:45):
where to begin? Let's start with my mom.
Back story. Her alcoholism and likely
undiagnosed mental health issues.
Borderline Personality Disorder Question mark equals my
traumatic childhood, leading to my current status of attempting
to maintain a compassionate longdistance relationship with firm
boundaries. Around 2007, 2008, my mom began
talking about suffering from Morgalon.

(02:07):
I had no idea what the fuck thatwas.
I was talking with my younger sister about my mom and she shed
some light. She'd seen a segment on TV,
Oprah question mark. The panel consisting of
sufferers as well as medical professionals, some or one of
whom claimed it was a valid disease and others dismissing it
delusional parasitosis. To her credit she didn't take a

(02:28):
side, just said there were a lotof people online discussing it
and who knows if it's real. My mom continued to fixate on
having Morgellons for several years.
At some point around 2010 I was staying at her place and she was
explaining the crawling and biting sensations she
experienced when she went to bed.
I myself had spent years dealingwith the sensation of something

(02:48):
crawling through my skin at bedtime, but I felt 100% sure
that it was a result of my nerves misfiring and was somehow
related to my PTSD hypervigilance coupled with my
generalized anxiety disorder. A year or two after that, she
revealed she'd gone to the doctor and received medication
that was helping her Morgellons.She mentioned how strange she
thought it was that the medication was usually

(03:09):
prescribed for Tourette's but that it helped her symptoms.
That sounded peculiar to me, so I looked up the medication.
O wrap. Yes, that is an antipsychotic.
In vitro studies show also antiparasitic.
I saw that in addition to Tourette's, it was also
prescribed for delusional disorder.
Of course I knew what a delusionwas, but wasn't sure exactly

(03:30):
what a diagnosis of quote delusional disorder meant.
Someone who has a singular delusional belief while
functions normally otherwise, EGis otherwise in reality.
At some point prior to 2018, my nighttime crawling stopped.
I did notice other odd things though.
I had lost most of the feeling in my scalp.

(03:52):
I could feel pressure, but therewas usually no pain if my hair
was pulled on or pulled out. Weird patches of my skin, like a
spot of my thigh that seemed to be numb but would occasionally
feel wet or like it was being burned, often while exercising.
I was going through a lot at this time, dealing with really
bad endometriosis and it turns out, adenomyosis.

(04:15):
I had several laparoscopic surgeries to separate my organs
and cut out the endo implants, but the pain was so incredible I
finally went for a hysterectomy in 2015.
Everything removed except my ovaries.
I began to experience extreme heat intolerance.
Jump forward to 2018-2019, I started to experience extreme
fatigue, having to take 15 minute naps at my desk at work,

(04:37):
constant nausea, daily vomiting blood in my urine.
Repeated tests showed no infection, extremely sore
muscles and stiff and achy joints.
So much so that I was convinced I had arthritis.
My doctor ran a battery of testsand ruled out arthritis,
rheumatoid arthritis, Crohn's, lupus, etcetera, etcetera.
By process of elimination, he said it may just be

(04:59):
fibromyalgia. I've worked as an office manager
for my current employer since December of 2000.
The current owner purchased the company in 2008, so knew my work
style very well. Around this time she began to
remark that she didn't understand what was going on
with me. I seem to be totally consumed by
the most minute details. She said it was like I suddenly

(05:21):
developed OCD. Part of that was that my
cognitive ability began to beganto decline.
I would write an e-mail, send it, and when I read it back
later I would see that it didn'tmake sense.
Usually I dropped words from my sentences or my grammar was
completely wackadoo. Things really started to pick up
in 2021 after I got my second and last COVID booster.

(05:43):
Fun fact, my boyfriend with whomI share a bed had COVID about
five times but I've never pickedit up.
That's when everything went cattywampus, which I've never
heard that word and I love it. My symptoms jumped into
OverDrive. This is 2021 y'all.
I spent over a year and a half repeatedly doing Internet
searches for terms like lateral ingrown hair, patches of ingrown

(06:06):
hair, and hair growing under skin ingrown.
Occasionally more gellans would show up, but I refused to look
at these pages as I already knewall about this made-up disease
that my crazy mom thought she had.
During this time I realized Google was a completely
worthless search engine. That is correct.
In 2018 is when Google started allowing their AI algorithm to

(06:30):
perform search. In fall 2023 I expelled what
looked like a mini ball of yarn from the skin next to my
eyebrow, followed by a circle ofblack stiff hairs from the skin
below my belly button that jumped from a piece of paper to
my finger as if it was magnetized while trying to

(06:52):
photograph it. And then finally extracted a
string like structure from a sore on my forehead that
appeared to be bright red on 1/2and blue on the other half.
The red and blue string thing made me accept that morgalons
might be real after all. There was literally no other

(07:14):
explanation I could find online.I found a site with photos and
was stunned to see photos of crap that matched what was
coming out of my skin. She's got a link here to
Morgalons research.org, Morgalons, Morgalons microscope.
I found Carnicom Institute and aplethora of other websites and
messages, message boards relatedto morgalons, all which

(07:35):
reinforced the reality that I indeed had morgalons.
Whatever it was, by December 2023, morgalons had overtaken my
life. I was obsessively trying to
photograph every little speck, fiber, etcetera.
I did have crazy, crazy shit coming off and out of my body.
Strings. Stuff that resembled glass,

(07:56):
Wooden sticks, oh girl, yes, thewooden sticks, yes.
Tinfoil. Yep, got that too.
Strings of course. Glass shore.
Green plant stems? Got it.
Glitter. Check.
A pink glass ball? I have a photo of this.
Lol I know you do girl. I got a photo of a yellow 1.
Pink slime. Oh yeah, Oh yeah, Pink goo, Pink

(08:19):
goo. There's black goo and there's
pink goo. Y'all wads of stuff that
resembled reindeer Moss dyed black.
We use this at work. I don't really want to know what
this lady does for the last 25 years.
First of all, Hallelujah. Amen.
How the fuck did you hold down ajob that long?
So she has everything in her skin, including reindeer, moths

(08:40):
die black, tiny layers of plastic wrap, paper peeling off
of my neck, I can go on and on. Absolutely crazy stuff that if
anyone in the past have tried toshow me while claiming it had
come out of their body, I would have believed them to be
severely mentally ill. I was seeing hair that moved on
its own and knew it was impossible.

(09:01):
I didn't want to talk to family or friends because I knew I
sounded crazy. Luckily I was able to keep my
job. It helps that I have my own in
office, but I'm pretty sure thatI would have been fired if I
hadn't done such a kick ass job for the 20 years prior to
getting sick. Go girl.
My cognitive abilities were so diminished that it began taking
over 60 hours a week to accomplish what I was previously

(09:23):
able to do in 20 to 30 hours. Writing emails was almost
impossible. I was unable to articulate
anything and the sentences I wrote didn't seem to make sense
when I reread them. I couldn't remember the words I
needed to express my thoughts. It was horrifying.
I've lived with my boyfriend since 2016, but in 2023 he was

(09:44):
not able to provide any mental or emotional support.
I was spending almost all of my time at work and unbeknownst to
me, he developed a heroin habit that then morphed into a
fentanyl addiction. Oh so sorry, I knew something
was off with him but he was denying it and I felt too far
into my own pseudo psychosis to really fight him.
He's been all fent, heroin and all hard drugs for over a year

(10:06):
now. But that's a long story for
another day. When I was at my lowest darkest
time early 2024, I found your podcast Q over dramatic
ridiculous statement. It was truly a ray of light in
my darkest midnight. To hear someone else say that
they had something resembling foil coming out of their body
was mind blowing. But even crazier, you described

(10:28):
it as purple, blue on one side and silver foil on the other.
This is exactly what I experienced, but mine popped out
from the crease above my left eyelid.
And you went through so much of the same weird shit I had.
I suddenly realized that I wasn't completely crazy after
all. I constantly was questioning my
sanity while compulsively tryingto get and photograph evidence

(10:50):
and I felt like I couldn't keep living if this was to be my
life. Your podcast helped me to see
that I wasn't alone in this and it was so validating.
So wait, I'm not completely batshit bananas bongers?
Other people have hair that moves.
Other people find weird pink Jelly shit emerging from their
skin. Wow, and because I felt
validated and was able to betteraccept this whole Morgalon

(11:10):
thing, I was able to stop feeling like I was in a constant
panic and start looking for constructive ways to deal with
it. Oh my God, I love that I take a
massive amount of supplements every day and changed up my
bathing practices. Nothing too crazy, just like
Dawn dished open Doctor Bronner's instead of drugstore
body wash, that kind of thing. Laundry with Borax, drink
alkalized water, make sure to get into bed by a certain time,

(11:31):
etcetera. I still am suffering from
morgalons, but nowhere near as sick as I was a year and a half
ago. I literally had black fluid
pouring out of the skin next to my nose at one point, had a
green, yellow, orange gelatinousBLOB sprout and began growing
out of the carpet in my old office.
Oh my God, and removed a something that looked like a
stem with mini peanuts growing on it from my head back then.

(11:56):
I have photos of all of this. I know you do girl.
I know you do. I do too.
You should have seen the little potatoes that came out of my
shoes. Anyway, now I just now I just
deal with lesions on my face that extrude black strings, waxy
buildup that rolls off my skin in weird Gray strands, and
miscellaneous other less traumatic symptoms.
Though in May of this year I hada sparkling white sheet of

(12:17):
something that resembled gauze my body, which still baffles me
how it was sparkling white even if it traveled through my
digestive track. Girl I don't know.
There was a sparkly blue cobweb that was just laying over where
across my forearm one night in 2021.
I'm sorry if any of my typing doesn't make sense and for
shitty grammar and spelling mistakes.

(12:38):
I'm an over talker but trying toknock this e-mail out while I'm
at work. My name is Sarah and some
background is relevant for your research.
I just turned 50 a couple weeks ago.
Happy birthday. I was born in the Los Angeles
area and now closed Hawthorne Memorial, grew up in Torrance
and Redondo Beach. I lived in Ashland OR for 1/2 a
year when I was 2095 and 96 and then moved back to LA.

(13:00):
In November 2000 I moved to San Jose, San Francisco Bay area and
I'm still in this area. I lived in the cities of San
Jose and Los Gatos from 2000 to 2010.
I moved to San Martin S valley of Santa Clara County.
We were in an old farmhouse so had well water.
The water was previously deemed too contaminated for consumption
due to a flare factory pollutingthe water table in the 60s or

(13:23):
70s. I think I was living here when
the night crawling began, but itmay have gone back to when I was
in SJI, can't remember. Sometimes I wonder if I picked
up the morgues from bathing brushing teeth in that
unfiltered well water. I have now been in Mountain
View, literally next door to Google, Microsoft and Moffett
Airfield since 20210. Don't forget Singularity

(13:45):
University. No kids, married and divorced
twice. Mom still in Torrance still says
she has morgalons. Dad is in Joshua Tree area, he's
an artist, no morgues. Younger sister in Torrance,
Redondo, married with three kids, no morgues that I know of.
If you have any questions, want clarification, or want to chat
it up, you can call or text me. And that is exactly what I plan

(14:06):
to do and hope to bring to you on the next episode of More
Morgalons. If you would like to Share your
story on the show, we would lovethat.
Write me an e-mail moremorgalonsgmail.com and as
always, thank you for listening.Stay tuned.