February 21, 2025 • 28 mins
From Missionary to Self-Discovery: Leah's Unfiltered Journey
In this episode of the Mormon to Median podcast, our special guest Leah shares her compelling journey from growing up in an LDS family to serving a mission, facing unexpected challenges, and ultimately stepping away from Mormonism. Leah opens up about being sent home from her mission for multiple infractions, only to return and finish honorably in New Mexico.
Through candid and humorous storytelling, she recounts the intense scrutiny and judgment she faced, and the personal growth she experienced along the way. Despite the pressures and expectations, Leah found love, faced the truth about her faith, and embraced a new path in life.
Tune in for an emotional and eye-opening conversation filled with honesty, laughter, and transformation.
Find Leah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/that_one_exmo?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==
Did you know you can schedule a reading or energy balance with Nannette? All you have to do is go to this link and arrange your session. She even does remote readings and proxy balances so you're in luck if you don't live in the same area.
Are you ready to add Touch for Health to your first aid kit? Sign up for Nannette's classes and learn how to move energy and talk to the body. Tap on this link for more details.
If you want to learn more, have questions, suggestions, or just want to say hello please contact us here. Thank you for listening and for all the love and support!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_ (00:00):
Welcome to the Mormon to Median podcast.
Uh, today we have a reallyspecial guest.
she has an amazing story and,um, I cannot wait to introduce
her to you.
This is Leah, you tell us allabout your, how to get a hold of
you and where they can find you.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (00:16):
yeah, I'm just on Instagram.
Um, that one exmo.
Uh, you can also look under LeahMarie.
it.
And yeah, I mean, I have aYouTube, but I don't really do
too much.
So Instagram is kind of whereit's at.
brad_1_02-21-2025_1302 (00:30):
Awesome.
Well, and we found Leah becausewe have a good friend, Sandy,
who's actually on the show.
And she's like, okay, you guyshave to watch Leah's Instagram.
She's got some great reels.
Um, so we started watching andyou've got a crazy story, you
know, growing up in Mormonismand going on a mission and
coming back from a mission.
And you had a lot of stuff goon.
(00:52):
Mormonism.
Tell us a little bit about yourjourney and then we'll just
visit.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (00:57):
Yeah, sure.
Um, so I, yeah, I grew up LDS.
Um, my parents are very, veryinto it.
They're first generation.
And so it was kind of a big dealfor them.
Um, and then I'm the youngest offour.
And so, you know, just trying tobe the best one out of all of
them because they had kind ofmessed up.
And so having that pressure onme was just, it was kind of a
(01:20):
lot.
And so it was kind of like theirlast hope, you know, for, for
something good.
So I served a mission and I feltgood about going, I wanted to
go, but um, yeah, my, Youngadult feelings got the best of
me and I kissed an elder manytimes while I was
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (01:36):
Oh no.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (01:37):
So I got kicked off and uh, when I
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130 (01:40):
Now, where did you go?
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (01:41):
they served in Boise, Idaho for a
year.
That's where I kissed elder.
And then I finished my missionin New Mexico.
So
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_13 (01:50):
Okay,
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (01:50):
yeah, there was kind of a weird gap in
between.
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_ (01:54):
gotcha.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (01:54):
right.
So look, I've got questionsalready.
I'm like, we got to find outmore about this.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (02:00):
story.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (02:01):
So number one, was he cute?
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_13 (02:04):
Okay.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (02:12):
um, I did find his Instagram page and
just said like, Hey, I just wantto let you know, like I've told
my side of the story.
I haven't said your name, but ifyou see a video, like just know
you're, you're okay.
So, um, yeah, but he, I don'tknow anything about him.
I just, he looks happy.
So.
Yeah,
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (02:33):
good for him.
So how did it actually even comeout?
I mean, so, so look, usually forthose who don't understand how
Mormon missionaries work, theyusually pair up.
They're always supposed to bewith their companion.
When they're not with theircompanion, it's only supposed to
be for a very short amount oftime.
What are the logistics of this?
(02:53):
How did that even happen?
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (02:56):
so I was, um, so they have these,
they're called sister trainingleaders and basically you're
kind of like in the mission, youknow, you're You kind of train
the new sister missionaries andthey come to come to you if
you're having, they're havingissues with, you know, their
companion and stuff.
And so I was kind of in charge alittle bit and I had been
training a new missionary and Ikind of took advantage of that.
(03:19):
And I was like, Hey, I haveaccess to the phone.
Um, you can't see any messages.
And she believed me.
So I feel kind of bad.
I, I kind of manipulated thatcause I didn't want to get
caught.
so then, yeah, I mean, I justkind of, we were just texting a
little bit here and there, youknow, and she never found out.
was his companion that found outabout it.
(03:42):
Yeah, and he ratted us out.
No, and he was the worstmissionary of them all, like the
most cocky.
He played football for BYU andjust thought he was like the
cat's meow.
And so when I found out that hehad told, I was like, oh yeah,
of course he did.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (04:02):
Yeah.
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130 (04:02):
Wow.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (04:03):
sales, bro.
Right?
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (04:05):
Oh, totally.
Yeah.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (04:06):
Yeah.
I can see the flat hat andeverything.
I, yeah,
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (04:10):
Yeah.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (04:10):
I've just got this image of exactly
who he is.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (04:13):
Yep.
Mm hmm.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (04:14):
So, so he ratted you out.
What, what was the process afterthat?
I, I imagine the, the missionpresident was like, Okay,
sister.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (04:22):
Mm
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (04:22):
Um, how did that go?
Like, what was that conversationlike?
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (04:26):
was scary.
Um, he wanted to meet at achurch building.
And so, yeah, we, we met himimmediately.
And his wife was there, themission presence wife.
My companion had no idea whatwas going on.
She was scared and I couldn'ttell her anything.
And so, um, he didn't want me totell her.
(04:47):
So yeah, we met and it was about10 minutes.
We sat there and I didn't sayanything.
I couldn't get anything out.
Like he was just sitting theretrying to convince me that this
was, You know, good for me totell him every detail.
I needed to let him know everysingle thing so that he can
report it to like, you know, thehigher ups, like the area 70.
And it was just, all I keptfeeling was like my parents
(05:09):
disappointing my parents.
Cause my brother had also gotkicked off his mission
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (05:14):
Oh,
leah_1_02-21-2025_13023 (05:14):
around.
And so my parents had beenthrough this before.
So it was just a lot ofemotions.
I just, I didn't want to tell, Ididn't want to tell him, you
know, cause it was just kissing,but I knew it would.
It was not okay.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (05:28):
right.
It's Oh, go ahead, man.
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_13023 (05:31):
I, I, I can't even imagine, I can't
imagine that they even treatedyou, um, the same as they would
treat him.
It has, it had to be a differentthing because the guy never gets
it as bad as the girl does.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (05:44):
Yeah.
Yeah.
When I got home and I, you know,I did end up talking to him, we
chatted about that and um, yeah,I mean, he didn't tell his
Bishop.
He didn't tell anybody.
He didn't have to, nobodypressured him to go back out.
It was really odd.
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130 (06:00):
Wow.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (06:01):
yeah, very, very different for him
than it was for me.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (06:04):
So did they send him home also?
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (06:06):
They did.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They sent him home too.
brad_1_02-21-2025_13022 (06:10):
Gotcha.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (06:10):
week later.
I had to stay in the missionfield for a whole week and I
couldn't pray.
I couldn't teach lessons.
I had to stay in with, they had,uh, other sister companions that
come and switch out so mycompanion could go out, you
know, and, um, yeah, it waswild.
It was
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (06:27):
For kissing.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (06:28):
For kissing.
Yeah.
Yeah, we did nothing more thanjust make out.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (06:32):
That seems like so such an extreme
reaction compared to what tookplace.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (06:40):
Yeah
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (06:40):
It's so
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (06:41):
it was a couple of weeks and it was
more than one time I think itwas just like wow, this really
is a problem for for them Youknow, like it was ongoing and we
would have kept it going on toofor sure.
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_1302 (06:54):
You know, my, my mind is going to,
um, the hormones of kids thatage and did they not think of
that?
maybe they have raging hormonesand you're asking these kids
that are supposed to be, youknow, so innocent and
everything, um, to not doanything like that, to be around
other kids.
(07:14):
It's without adult supervisionjust to be around kids that age.
You're, you've got so manyhormones going on, um, I, I
think that your story isn't,probably like a lot of people's.
By the way, I, I, I like your,your cup.
Please tell me it has, uh,what's it called?
Uh,
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (07:31):
Moscow mule.
Horrible.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (07:34):
Yep.
Uh huh.
My friend got them for me Wewere at a bar and I was like, I
love copper and she got them forme.
So I love them.
Yeah.
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_1 (07:43):
ginger ale, so, and I love it.
Or ginger beer.
I love it.
So, I love those drinks.
They're so good.
brad_1_02-21-2025_1302 (07:50):
Horrible stuff.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (07:51):
just water in it, but you know
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (07:53):
Hey, do you know what?
It's your story.
You can tell whatever you want.
Nobody knows.
We sure.
It's water.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (08:00):
Yeah,
brad_1_02-21-2025_130 (08:01):
everyone, Leah's got water in her mud,
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (08:04):
I'm just a stay at home mom it's not
a big deal I'm never stressed
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_13023 (08:09):
No stress.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (08:10):
No.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (08:10):
just uses a copper mug instead of a
Stanley
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (08:13):
Yes.
Oh yeah.
I do actually have a Stanley.
That's really funny.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (08:17):
We know what's in those
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (08:19):
Yes.
Oh
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (08:20):
We understand.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (08:21):
Oh yeah.
Guilty.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (08:23):
We, we are parents too.
Yeah.
Our kids are just older.
Yeah.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (08:28):
That's awesome.
Yeah.
That's funny.
But yeah, the hormones, I meanit is, it's so true.
Like they do send you out and Ithink they're aware.
I think they know.
That they are, they're, cause,you know, they're, they're, it's
such a commitment that you haveto make.
That if you get through yourmission, you know, the chances
are, you, you will get marriedin the temple, and that's more
(08:49):
money for them.
And I, I think it's all aboutmoney.
I really do.
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_1302 (08:53):
Oh,
brad_1_02-21-2025_13022 (08:53):
hundred percent.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (08:54):
really is.
It's just about
nannette-_1_02-21-2025 (08:55):
percent.
Hundred percent.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (08:58):
Yeah.
It's sad, but there were so manymissionaries in that mission
that were flirting.
And I've had a lot of, uh, youknow, missionaries I knew that
were like, Oh, I was also withthis elder and this person.
I was like, that's crazy.
Like, and you guys didn't get introuble.
Like I'm jealous,
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (09:14):
Wow.
So were you out after theychanged the, the age limit and
they lowered the age limit?
I don't know how old you are.
You've got this timeless look,
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (09:23):
just about to turn 19 the next month.
So yeah, like the conference wasOctober and I was going to be 19
in November.
So I was like, I was there whenthey made the announcement and
it was, you know, it wasexciting.
I felt super important and I
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (09:39):
right?
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (09:39):
of other girls felt very important
too, which is why.
They're, they all went out, youknow, everybody did it.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (09:46):
Yeah.
I always have thought that,that's so weird that we, you
know, as a Mormon culture wouldsend people out to teach our
religion who have zero lifeexperience, like nothing.
You don't know anything.
As a 19 year old, you don't knowdick about dick.
You're like, yeah, I testify.
This is so true.
(10:07):
What struggles have you ever hadin your life to actually have to
really rely on religion?
Right.
I mean, yeah, I, um,
leah_1_02-21-2025_130 (10:17):
testimony of the law of chastity.
I was such a good girl.
I didn't do anything naughtyever my mission.
And I, I, when I would betelling, you know, middle aged
men don't masturbate, like don'thave sex with women, you know,
or if it was a couple that wereliving together, but not
married.
Like I felt like I had no place.
You know, but I still was toldthat this is what God wants, and
(10:38):
so I was their messenger, you
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (10:42):
Oh my gosh.
They're trimming the hedge rightoutside the window here.
Can you guys hear that?
Okay, good.
Cause it's so loud.
Um, yeah.
Do you know, that's kind of acrazy thing, right?
Is we've got these young kidsout there going.
Yeah, you, you shouldn't smokeand you shouldn't drink coffee
and you can't drink alcohol andyou cannot live with your
girlfriend anymore.
(11:03):
Uh, or else I can't baptize youand you won't get eternal life.
It seems like such a, uh, adouble standard, I guess.
Um, and maybe
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (11:15):
advice from young people who don't know
anything, you know?
Like, it's just silly, you know?
Like, I saw missionaries at thestore the other day, and I'm
like, they look so young, andlike, they're not fully
developed.
Why,
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (11:27):
Yeah,
leah_1_02-21-2025_13023 (11:28):
telling people how to live their life,
you know?
brad_1_02-21-2025_1302 (11:30):
exactly.
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_1302 (11:31):
And they also, they also look at you
through such a judgmental lens,you know, um, with their lack of
experience, they have thisjudgmental lens that they're
like, Oh, well, you're ahorrible person because.
You did this or you did thisrather than be like, so what's
your story?
You know, um, I just find it sointeresting.
And I took my, I took my nameoff the records of the church.
(11:54):
We're coming up on three yearsago and I've never had
missionaries come by, but a weekafter I got the notification
from the attorneys that my namewas off, they come by every
single time there's a new set.
They come by and knock on mydoor and Brad's like, Aw shit!
Race to the door! Race to thedoor! gonna eat them alive! And
I'm, I'm not, I'm nice, but I'mjust like, If you want to talk
(12:18):
religion, you don't know whatyou're talking about.
You don't want to go there withme, but I'll be nice.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (12:22):
yeah,
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_13 (12:23):
Yeah, I feel bad for them.
Do you know what I mean?
Because they're just, theirwhole pitch is, so we wanted to
talk to you about yourneighbors.
I'm like,
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (12:30):
Yeah.
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_13 (12:31):
one's a Jew.
That one's a Democrat.
That was, you know, they're notgoing to talk to you.
They're not going to answertheir doors.
Like this happens all the time.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (12:38):
thing is they know this like
missionaries have a big assbinder of their whole area and
who do not contact you and youhave all information about even
neighbors, you know, just notes.
So it's just silly missionariesstill push it.
You know, they still, you know.
show up.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (12:56):
We decided it's because we're a
mixed faith relationship becauseI'm still a Mormon.
Because my name is still on therecords, but Nan is off.
So, you know, I think that makesus fair game.
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_1302 (13:07):
No, Brad's name is on the records.
Cause he won't just, it's hisbackup plan.
So you can be still to his exwife for eternity if he wants
to.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (13:15):
a
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_13023 (13:15):
So that's what it is.
Yeah.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (13:17):
a good reason to do that.
Yeah, for
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (13:18):
Oh boy.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (13:19):
I
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (13:19):
Well, it's an insurance policy, I
guess, yeah.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (13:22):
it is.
Yeah.
That's a good way to look at it.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (13:25):
Or I'm just too lazy to do anything
about it is really the accurateanswer there.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (13:31):
you could be excommunicated.
I'm kind of jealous.
I wish I would have gone throughan excommunication process, like
sitting down.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (13:38):
Yeah, just to know what it was like.
Right?
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (13:40):
know what it was like to be in a room
full of men, just like lasers,you know, focused on you.
It would have been interesting.
You know,
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (13:48):
Right.
You know, it's, uh, such a, aweaponized use of guilt.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (13:54):
that's all it is.
Yeah.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (13:56):
Very interesting.
So after your mission, so yousaid you, they, they, they set
you down and said, all right,sister, you're going to hang out
here for a week and then we'regoing to figure out what to do
with you.
You said you also served in NewMexico.
So they sent you from Idaho toNew Mexico because that was far
enough away from the boy.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (14:13):
So I did have to go home.
I was home for six months and Icouldn't hold a calling.
Um, I was kind of on like churchdisciplinary, you know, kind of
thing, but I, it was notofficial.
They didn't
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (14:25):
Ah,
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (14:26):
do anything.
He just kind of kept me like,you know.
You know, and I just went to myfamily ward and then eventually
I was able to go to my singlesward while I was home for that
time just to get out and besocial.
Cause I wasn't working.
I
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (14:40):
right.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (14:40):
just hanging out waiting to go back
to hear from the area 70.
He was the one that was makingthe decision.
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130 (14:47):
Wow.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (14:47):
Got it.
How did that affect you on apersonal level?
Like, like, was, that had to behard to go back to church and be
like, Oh, yeah, I can't pray orI'm sorry, I'm not going to take
the sacrament or, you know, whatwas that like?
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (15:02):
it was awful.
Um, I mean, I, I came homebecause I, you know, broke rules
and I was told by my parents andmy church leaders to like lie
and say I was home for aconcussion.
And, um,
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_13 (15:15):
What?
leah_1_02-21-2025_1302 (15:16):
reasons, and then it's like, Oh, can't
take the sacrament?
Why can't you take thesacrament?
you can't pray in this class?
Why not?
So it was, it was awful.
Yeah.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (15:26):
They actually told you to lie about
it.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (15:28):
Yes.
Yes.
I,
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130 (15:30):
Wow.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (15:31):
my sisters, nobody knew.
I had no cousins.
Nobody knew why I was reallyhome for my
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (15:36):
Wow.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (15:37):
tell them.
Yeah.
brad_1_02-21-2025_ (15:38):
Interesting.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (15:40):
I guess they didn't want to take
the sacrament.
I don't know, make my parentslook bad or something.
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_1302 (15:45):
The shame runs deep.
Holy cow.
Wow.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (15:49):
that is surprising to me.
So after you're there for sixmonths and they're publicly
humiliated you enough, then theysaid, okay, now your humiliation
is over.
We can send you back to themission.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (16:00):
Yeah, and they asked me too, they,
they were, the Area 70 called meand said, do you want to go back
to Boise?
you want to go to somewhere new?
And I thought, well, I didn'teven think that I had a chance
to go back to Boise.
And so I said, yeah, I'll goback to Boise.
And then they came back and mymission president said it
wouldn't be good for me to comeback because there had been a
(16:21):
lot of rumors, you know, afterwe left and they shut down my
area that I was in.
And so, you know, they justdissolved it all.
And so yeah, then they werelike, sorry, you can't go back
to Boise.
And I said, okay, well, maybeI'll go to Temple Square.
I thought that would be a reallyfun kind of unique experience.
And they're like, no, we want tosend you to New Mexico in the
(16:41):
middle of nowhere on, you
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130 (16:43):
Wow.
Wow.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (16:52):
bad experience, because I hear
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (16:53):
good.
I obeyed every rule.
I didn't kiss any missionarieson that mission.
yeah, I returned with honor, Iwould say.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (17:02):
that's a catchphrase.
I love that you returned withhonor.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (17:05):
Mm
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (17:05):
Um, you know, it's interesting,
though, you will talk tomissionaries return
missionaries, right?
And you either get it was suchan amazing experience.
Best two years of my life, or itwas horrible.
I can't believe the trauma Ihave as a result.
I'm glad I learned a differentlanguage and culture, but.
The religious part with wastraumatic.
(17:25):
How would you describe yourwhole mission experience?
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (17:28):
it was amazing.
I thrived in it.
I mean I wanted to be there.
I loved the work I was doing.
I love the people.
I love serving others and so itwas easy and I would rather be
out than home with my parents.
So there's a eight year gapbetween me and the sister above
me.
Um, and so from 12 to 18, I wasthe only one living at home.
(17:51):
So like I was kind of an onlychild and I
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_1302 (17:54):
I'm going to give you a couple of
minutes to think about it, andthen we'll get started.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (18:18):
that that's a great way to take it as
a positive?
I think I love that you areactually aware enough to go.
Hey, this is healthier for me.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (18:26):
Yeah, it was.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (18:28):
So as you came back and you fast
forwarded what happened when youcame back?
Were you just like perfect MollyMormon?
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (18:35):
No, no.
I lost my virginity in betweenmy missions, which is a whole
other story.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (18:42):
You didn't tell us that part.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (18:44):
Yeah, so I will.
Um, so I, I couldn't have acalling, but they wanted me,
this was about a month or twobefore I went back on my
mission, so they wanted me toget back into the mission mode.
So I started going out with thesister missionaries in my young
single adult ward, and we wereteaching a guy, and he was cute,
and we got along, and, um, yeah,we started hanging out, and it
(19:06):
was on his actual, it was hisbaptism day.
We went back to his house, andwe, celebrated.
So I was like, yeah, let's dothis.
I don't, I don't mind.
Let's yeah, let's have fun.
So yeah, so I lied a lot, butwhen I got back, I went back
right into of that fun stuff Iwas doing before.
brad_1_02-21-2025_13022 (19:25):
Gotcha.
I, I like the, yeah, wecelebrated.
I'm going to start using that.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (19:29):
I had my first beer that night too.
So it
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (19:32):
Oh, right after he'd been baptized.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (19:35):
Right after he had been baptized.
Yeah.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (19:37):
That is a, kudos to you.
Um, way to buck the system.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (19:40):
Yeah, I did.
It was fun.
I enjoyed it.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (19:43):
Well, okay.
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_1 (19:44):
wasn't that really hard for you to go
back out into the mission fieldand act like nothing.
Happens when you had done thisstuff over here.
No.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (19:54):
I was so numb to any punishment or
however anyone thought that Ijust I was like I didn't care
and he knew too I was like, youknow I'm going back on my
mission and he was all for it.
He's like, yeah, I want to seeyou go like have fun You know,
so I and there was it wasn'tserious So I didn't feel like I
had to you know, stay back forhim and battle that it was just
like I just want to have fun andexperience this and know, he was
(20:18):
open to it and he had alreadyexperienced it himself.
So I was like, all right, like Itrusted him and we're still
friends.
So it, you know, it's kind ofnice to look back on that and be
like,
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_13 (20:29):
Nice.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (20:29):
that's what happened.
And I'm sorry, I was not thebest example, but fine.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (20:34):
it's essentially you experience the
same things that normal collegeage kids should go and
experience.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (20:40):
Yeah, yeah, it was awesome.
I don't regret it at all.
Yeah.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (20:44):
Well, Leah.
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_1302 (20:46):
Oh, shoot.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (20:47):
Have you read the miracle of
forgiveness?
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (20:50):
Yes.
My mother forced me to read itwhen I was like 16.
Just to get it in my brain Yeah,
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (21:00):
I'm sorry.
I couldn't resist.
I've like, I've got just thething for you.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (21:04):
I Love it.
That's
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_1302 (21:06):
Oh,
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (21:10):
and, and obviously I think you, feels
like you already kind of hadyour shelf break and you're
like, eh, it's not my thing.
Um, how did that work out foryou?
And what was really, you know,that, uh, that game changer for
you?
And, and how did you approachthat with your family?
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (21:27):
Yeah.
I mean I still believed I stilllike I wanted to get married in
the temple Even when I got back,so I I looked for a Mormon boy,
and I moved to Provo Um, Ithought, well, this will be a
good environment for me.
I'll be around a lot of peoplemy age.
And, um, no, it was the mosthorniest party town I'd ever
been to.
I mean, it was worse than whatkids do in California.
(21:50):
I mean, really, it's just crazy.
And, um, I went on a lot ofTinder dates and so it's just, I
was still going to churchthough.
I still really believed I waslooking for a spouse.
And then, um, yeah, I met myhusband on Tinder and he is from
Ogden, which Ogden and Provo arevery, very, very different
towns.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (22:11):
Yes.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (22:12):
Yeah.
I mean, we got married likethree months later.
So it was just like, I didn't,my parents accepted it because
he was Mormon.
So my parents were like, Oh,this is great.
We can, you can come back.
Like you guys can get activetogether and maybe get sealed.
And my mom had a dream.
about my dad hugging my husbandin the temple and white.
And my mom told me that thiswould happen one day.
(22:33):
She like manifested that, youknow, we, we would get sealed in
the temple eventually.
And so I tried, I tried.
And then my husband was in ananthropology class in college.
And that's when I was like, Ohshit, like, this is not real.
There's so much more out therethan just Mormonism and Joseph
Smith.
And that's, that's really wheremy shelf fell.
Just completely fell was I waslike, oh, yeah, this is not this
(22:56):
is not true.
There's no way there's no way it
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_1 (23:01):
Right.
So it was his anthropologyclasses and the looking at the
historical facts of things thatyou were like, yeah, this is
bullshit.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (23:10):
Yeah, the
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130 (23:11):
Wow.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (23:12):
and letter for my wife letter for my
wife was another one
nannette-_1_02-21- (23:17):
interesting.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (23:18):
my shelf Yeah, Mind blown about the
facts about Joseph Smith, youknow, it still baffles me that I
was so fooled and I didn't seeit
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (23:29):
You know, it seems like they're very
good at obscuring the historythat's not positive to them.
And you're never taught thosethings, right?
I was always, as I grew up, Iwas always taught Brigham Young
started polygamy because therewere so many men that died
crossing the plains, and thewomen needed someone to take
care of them, so they startedpolygamy.
(23:50):
And then I started learning,wait a minute, that's BS!
Because Joseph started it, andEmma hated it! And All of this
stuff starts to come to light.
And the more you learn, the moreyou go, I
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130 (24:03):
the,
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (24:04):
so lied to for all of these years.
And even if they were just liesof omission, it's still lies.
Right.
And that was, it was like anarrow to my heart when, when I
started finding this stuff out.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (24:17):
yeah, I I questioned Emma at one point
too, and I was like whathappened to Emma?
And I remember asking my husbandhe's
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_1302 (24:24):
Um,
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (24:54):
And um, I, I think shame on the
Mormon church for making a lotof people fooled at their
relationship, you know, causeit's just,
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (25:00):
Yeah.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (25:01):
it was.
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130 (25:02):
It's crazy, wow.
I know I look back on my, myjourney too and I was so in
until I was like 48 years old,like so in trying to fit inside
that little Mormon box and Ibelieved it all with all of my
heart.
But I was, I was born into thechurch and so I didn't know any
different.
And, um, I guess I borrowedpeople's, people's testimonies,
(25:23):
but.
Boy, when my world shattered andI started seeing spirits with my
human eyes.
Nobody could help me.
It was like, wait a second.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (25:32):
Yes.
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130 (25:34):
what is going on?
And, and no one can help me.
You're, you have thesepriesthood leaders, you know,
and it's supposed to be the truechurch, right?
Jesus is supposed to be the headof it, and they, they can't tell
me why I'm seeing things thatI'm seeing.
And I'm like, um, this doesn'tmake sense.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (25:48):
have all the answers.
They don't have all the answers.
That's
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_1302 (25:51):
No, no, they,
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (25:53):
And they'll convince you.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (25:55):
Yes.
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130 (25:56):
they cheat all of us out of our
birthright as a soul, because wecome to this earth with all of
these heavenly gifts, but theycheat us out of it because we're
supposed to follow the prophetonly and not get in touch with
our own gifts that we come toearth with.
And so a lot of people don'teven know or, Don't even
believe, you know, in, in beingin touch with the other side or,
you know, feeling our loved onesthat have passed and it just, it
(26:19):
blows my mind that it's not athing that it's not a natural
thing that we talk about and,and embrace,
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (26:25):
Yeah, and
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_13 (26:25):
know, and
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (26:25):
think after, like, Baptisms for the
Dead and things that they do inthe temple, like, they should
be, but yeah, they're not.
They're not.
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_13 (26:32):
yeah, it's so crazy.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (26:35):
Yeah.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (26:36):
Well, and I think it's.
It's scary for them, right?
Because they want to have allthe answers, but they don't.
And if they admit that theydon't know, then somehow it
weakens their position.
To me, I like it much betterwhen someone says, Shit, I don't
know.
I'll see what I can find out,though.
You know, go and do someresearch.
Let me know.
(26:57):
If you don't know the answer,it's okay.
I would have so much morerespect.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (27:00):
I feel like sometimes when people ask
me questions on, my page, youknow, I feel like it's been so
long since I've gone through anendowment session that it's hard
for me to be like, okay, here'sstep by step.
Like, cause I it's been so longand my brain has really
forgotten a lot of that stuff.
Um,
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_13 (27:16):
Yeah.
leah_1_02-21-2025_1302 (27:17):
remember it, yeah, it's like, Oh no.
Like that's, that's not good.
You know, it's, It's unhealthy.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (27:24):
Yeah.
Well, like when I was coming outof anesthesia, and I'll let you
talk about that, Nand.
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_1302 (27:32):
No, you say it.
You brought it up.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (27:35):
Well, okay, so, you know, before you
go through your endowmentsession, there's the washing and
anointing, right?
And I remember being completelyoverwhelmed.
So, um, my girlfriend in highschool got pregnant.
Um, obviously, you know, Ididn't go on a mission after
that.
They, they don't like youngfathers to be missionaries.
(27:56):
Um, but we did end up gettingmarried and, you know, a year
after we got married, We'regoing to go through the temple.
All right, here we go.
And nobody prepared me for thiswashing and anointing thing,
Welcome to the Mormon to Median podcast.
Uh, today we have a reallyspecial guest.
she has an amazing story and,um, I cannot wait to introduce
her to you.
This is Leah, you tell us allabout your, how to get a hold of
you and where they can find you.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (00:16):
yeah, I'm just on Instagram.
Um, that one exmo.
Uh, you can also look under LeahMarie.
it.
And yeah, I mean, I have aYouTube, but I don't really do
too much.
So Instagram is kind of whereit's at.
brad_1_02-21-2025_1302 (00:30):
Awesome.
Well, and we found Leah becausewe have a good friend, Sandy,
who's actually on the show.
And she's like, okay, you guyshave to watch Leah's Instagram.
She's got some great reels.
Um, so we started watching andyou've got a crazy story, you
know, growing up in Mormonismand going on a mission and
coming back from a mission.
And you had a lot of stuff goon.
(00:52):
Mormonism.
Tell us a little bit about yourjourney and then we'll just
visit.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (00:57):
Yeah, sure.
Um, so I, yeah, I grew up LDS.
Um, my parents are very, veryinto it.
They're first generation.
And so it was kind of a big dealfor them.
Um, and then I'm the youngest offour.
And so, you know, just trying tobe the best one out of all of
them because they had kind ofmessed up.
And so having that pressure onme was just, it was kind of a
(01:20):
lot.
And so it was kind of like theirlast hope, you know, for, for
something good.
So I served a mission and I feltgood about going, I wanted to
go, but um, yeah, my, Youngadult feelings got the best of
me and I kissed an elder manytimes while I was
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (01:36):
Oh no.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (01:37):
So I got kicked off and uh, when I
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130 (01:40):
Now, where did you go?
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (01:41):
they served in Boise, Idaho for a
year.
That's where I kissed elder.
And then I finished my missionin New Mexico.
So
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_13 (01:50):
Okay,
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (01:50):
yeah, there was kind of a weird gap in
between.
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_ (01:54):
gotcha.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (01:54):
right.
So look, I've got questionsalready.
I'm like, we got to find outmore about this.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (02:00):
story.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (02:01):
So number one, was he cute?
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_13 (02:04):
Okay.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (02:12):
um, I did find his Instagram page and
just said like, Hey, I just wantto let you know, like I've told
my side of the story.
I haven't said your name, but ifyou see a video, like just know
you're, you're okay.
So, um, yeah, but he, I don'tknow anything about him.
I just, he looks happy.
So.
Yeah,
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (02:33):
good for him.
So how did it actually even comeout?
I mean, so, so look, usually forthose who don't understand how
Mormon missionaries work, theyusually pair up.
They're always supposed to bewith their companion.
When they're not with theircompanion, it's only supposed to
be for a very short amount oftime.
What are the logistics of this?
(02:53):
How did that even happen?
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (02:56):
so I was, um, so they have these,
they're called sister trainingleaders and basically you're
kind of like in the mission, youknow, you're You kind of train
the new sister missionaries andthey come to come to you if
you're having, they're havingissues with, you know, their
companion and stuff.
And so I was kind of in charge alittle bit and I had been
training a new missionary and Ikind of took advantage of that.
(03:19):
And I was like, Hey, I haveaccess to the phone.
Um, you can't see any messages.
And she believed me.
So I feel kind of bad.
I, I kind of manipulated thatcause I didn't want to get
caught.
so then, yeah, I mean, I justkind of, we were just texting a
little bit here and there, youknow, and she never found out.
was his companion that found outabout it.
(03:42):
Yeah, and he ratted us out.
No, and he was the worstmissionary of them all, like the
most cocky.
He played football for BYU andjust thought he was like the
cat's meow.
And so when I found out that hehad told, I was like, oh yeah,
of course he did.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (04:02):
Yeah.
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130 (04:02):
Wow.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (04:03):
sales, bro.
Right?
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (04:05):
Oh, totally.
Yeah.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (04:06):
Yeah.
I can see the flat hat andeverything.
I, yeah,
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (04:10):
Yeah.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (04:10):
I've just got this image of exactly
who he is.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (04:13):
Yep.
Mm hmm.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (04:14):
So, so he ratted you out.
What, what was the process afterthat?
I, I imagine the, the missionpresident was like, Okay,
sister.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (04:22):
Mm
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (04:22):
Um, how did that go?
Like, what was that conversationlike?
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (04:26):
was scary.
Um, he wanted to meet at achurch building.
And so, yeah, we, we met himimmediately.
And his wife was there, themission presence wife.
My companion had no idea whatwas going on.
She was scared and I couldn'ttell her anything.
And so, um, he didn't want me totell her.
(04:47):
So yeah, we met and it was about10 minutes.
We sat there and I didn't sayanything.
I couldn't get anything out.
Like he was just sitting theretrying to convince me that this
was, You know, good for me totell him every detail.
I needed to let him know everysingle thing so that he can
report it to like, you know, thehigher ups, like the area 70.
And it was just, all I keptfeeling was like my parents
(05:09):
disappointing my parents.
Cause my brother had also gotkicked off his mission
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (05:14):
Oh,
leah_1_02-21-2025_13023 (05:14):
around.
And so my parents had beenthrough this before.
So it was just a lot ofemotions.
I just, I didn't want to tell, Ididn't want to tell him, you
know, cause it was just kissing,but I knew it would.
It was not okay.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (05:28):
right.
It's Oh, go ahead, man.
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_13023 (05:31):
I, I, I can't even imagine, I can't
imagine that they even treatedyou, um, the same as they would
treat him.
It has, it had to be a differentthing because the guy never gets
it as bad as the girl does.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (05:44):
Yeah.
Yeah.
When I got home and I, you know,I did end up talking to him, we
chatted about that and um, yeah,I mean, he didn't tell his
Bishop.
He didn't tell anybody.
He didn't have to, nobodypressured him to go back out.
It was really odd.
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130 (06:00):
Wow.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (06:01):
yeah, very, very different for him
than it was for me.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (06:04):
So did they send him home also?
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (06:06):
They did.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They sent him home too.
brad_1_02-21-2025_13022 (06:10):
Gotcha.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (06:10):
week later.
I had to stay in the missionfield for a whole week and I
couldn't pray.
I couldn't teach lessons.
I had to stay in with, they had,uh, other sister companions that
come and switch out so mycompanion could go out, you
know, and, um, yeah, it waswild.
It was
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (06:27):
For kissing.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (06:28):
For kissing.
Yeah.
Yeah, we did nothing more thanjust make out.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (06:32):
That seems like so such an extreme
reaction compared to what tookplace.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (06:40):
Yeah
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (06:40):
It's so
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (06:41):
it was a couple of weeks and it was
more than one time I think itwas just like wow, this really
is a problem for for them Youknow, like it was ongoing and we
would have kept it going on toofor sure.
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_1302 (06:54):
You know, my, my mind is going to,
um, the hormones of kids thatage and did they not think of
that?
maybe they have raging hormonesand you're asking these kids
that are supposed to be, youknow, so innocent and
everything, um, to not doanything like that, to be around
other kids.
(07:14):
It's without adult supervisionjust to be around kids that age.
You're, you've got so manyhormones going on, um, I, I
think that your story isn't,probably like a lot of people's.
By the way, I, I, I like your,your cup.
Please tell me it has, uh,what's it called?
Uh,
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (07:31):
Moscow mule.
Horrible.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (07:34):
Yep.
Uh huh.
My friend got them for me Wewere at a bar and I was like, I
love copper and she got them forme.
So I love them.
Yeah.
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_1 (07:43):
ginger ale, so, and I love it.
Or ginger beer.
I love it.
So, I love those drinks.
They're so good.
brad_1_02-21-2025_1302 (07:50):
Horrible stuff.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (07:51):
just water in it, but you know
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (07:53):
Hey, do you know what?
It's your story.
You can tell whatever you want.
Nobody knows.
We sure.
It's water.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (08:00):
Yeah,
brad_1_02-21-2025_130 (08:01):
everyone, Leah's got water in her mud,
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (08:04):
I'm just a stay at home mom it's not
a big deal I'm never stressed
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_13023 (08:09):
No stress.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (08:10):
No.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (08:10):
just uses a copper mug instead of a
Stanley
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (08:13):
Yes.
Oh yeah.
I do actually have a Stanley.
That's really funny.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (08:17):
We know what's in those
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (08:19):
Yes.
Oh
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (08:20):
We understand.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (08:21):
Oh yeah.
Guilty.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (08:23):
We, we are parents too.
Yeah.
Our kids are just older.
Yeah.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (08:28):
That's awesome.
Yeah.
That's funny.
But yeah, the hormones, I meanit is, it's so true.
Like they do send you out and Ithink they're aware.
I think they know.
That they are, they're, cause,you know, they're, they're, it's
such a commitment that you haveto make.
That if you get through yourmission, you know, the chances
are, you, you will get marriedin the temple, and that's more
(08:49):
money for them.
And I, I think it's all aboutmoney.
I really do.
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_1302 (08:53):
Oh,
brad_1_02-21-2025_13022 (08:53):
hundred percent.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (08:54):
really is.
It's just about
nannette-_1_02-21-2025 (08:55):
percent.
Hundred percent.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (08:58):
Yeah.
It's sad, but there were so manymissionaries in that mission
that were flirting.
And I've had a lot of, uh, youknow, missionaries I knew that
were like, Oh, I was also withthis elder and this person.
I was like, that's crazy.
Like, and you guys didn't get introuble.
Like I'm jealous,
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (09:14):
Wow.
So were you out after theychanged the, the age limit and
they lowered the age limit?
I don't know how old you are.
You've got this timeless look,
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (09:23):
just about to turn 19 the next month.
So yeah, like the conference wasOctober and I was going to be 19
in November.
So I was like, I was there whenthey made the announcement and
it was, you know, it wasexciting.
I felt super important and I
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (09:39):
right?
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (09:39):
of other girls felt very important
too, which is why.
They're, they all went out, youknow, everybody did it.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (09:46):
Yeah.
I always have thought that,that's so weird that we, you
know, as a Mormon culture wouldsend people out to teach our
religion who have zero lifeexperience, like nothing.
You don't know anything.
As a 19 year old, you don't knowdick about dick.
You're like, yeah, I testify.
This is so true.
(10:07):
What struggles have you ever hadin your life to actually have to
really rely on religion?
Right.
I mean, yeah, I, um,
leah_1_02-21-2025_130 (10:17):
testimony of the law of chastity.
I was such a good girl.
I didn't do anything naughtyever my mission.
And I, I, when I would betelling, you know, middle aged
men don't masturbate, like don'thave sex with women, you know,
or if it was a couple that wereliving together, but not
married.
Like I felt like I had no place.
You know, but I still was toldthat this is what God wants, and
(10:38):
so I was their messenger, you
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (10:42):
Oh my gosh.
They're trimming the hedge rightoutside the window here.
Can you guys hear that?
Okay, good.
Cause it's so loud.
Um, yeah.
Do you know, that's kind of acrazy thing, right?
Is we've got these young kidsout there going.
Yeah, you, you shouldn't smokeand you shouldn't drink coffee
and you can't drink alcohol andyou cannot live with your
girlfriend anymore.
(11:03):
Uh, or else I can't baptize youand you won't get eternal life.
It seems like such a, uh, adouble standard, I guess.
Um, and maybe
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (11:15):
advice from young people who don't know
anything, you know?
Like, it's just silly, you know?
Like, I saw missionaries at thestore the other day, and I'm
like, they look so young, andlike, they're not fully
developed.
Why,
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (11:27):
Yeah,
leah_1_02-21-2025_13023 (11:28):
telling people how to live their life,
you know?
brad_1_02-21-2025_1302 (11:30):
exactly.
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_1302 (11:31):
And they also, they also look at you
through such a judgmental lens,you know, um, with their lack of
experience, they have thisjudgmental lens that they're
like, Oh, well, you're ahorrible person because.
You did this or you did thisrather than be like, so what's
your story?
You know, um, I just find it sointeresting.
And I took my, I took my nameoff the records of the church.
(11:54):
We're coming up on three yearsago and I've never had
missionaries come by, but a weekafter I got the notification
from the attorneys that my namewas off, they come by every
single time there's a new set.
They come by and knock on mydoor and Brad's like, Aw shit!
Race to the door! Race to thedoor! gonna eat them alive! And
I'm, I'm not, I'm nice, but I'mjust like, If you want to talk
(12:18):
religion, you don't know whatyou're talking about.
You don't want to go there withme, but I'll be nice.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (12:22):
yeah,
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_13 (12:23):
Yeah, I feel bad for them.
Do you know what I mean?
Because they're just, theirwhole pitch is, so we wanted to
talk to you about yourneighbors.
I'm like,
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (12:30):
Yeah.
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_13 (12:31):
one's a Jew.
That one's a Democrat.
That was, you know, they're notgoing to talk to you.
They're not going to answertheir doors.
Like this happens all the time.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (12:38):
thing is they know this like
missionaries have a big assbinder of their whole area and
who do not contact you and youhave all information about even
neighbors, you know, just notes.
So it's just silly missionariesstill push it.
You know, they still, you know.
show up.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (12:56):
We decided it's because we're a
mixed faith relationship becauseI'm still a Mormon.
Because my name is still on therecords, but Nan is off.
So, you know, I think that makesus fair game.
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_1302 (13:07):
No, Brad's name is on the records.
Cause he won't just, it's hisbackup plan.
So you can be still to his exwife for eternity if he wants
to.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (13:15):
a
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_13023 (13:15):
So that's what it is.
Yeah.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (13:17):
a good reason to do that.
Yeah, for
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (13:18):
Oh boy.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (13:19):
I
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (13:19):
Well, it's an insurance policy, I
guess, yeah.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (13:22):
it is.
Yeah.
That's a good way to look at it.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (13:25):
Or I'm just too lazy to do anything
about it is really the accurateanswer there.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (13:31):
you could be excommunicated.
I'm kind of jealous.
I wish I would have gone throughan excommunication process, like
sitting down.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (13:38):
Yeah, just to know what it was like.
Right?
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (13:40):
know what it was like to be in a room
full of men, just like lasers,you know, focused on you.
It would have been interesting.
You know,
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (13:48):
Right.
You know, it's, uh, such a, aweaponized use of guilt.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (13:54):
that's all it is.
Yeah.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (13:56):
Very interesting.
So after your mission, so yousaid you, they, they, they set
you down and said, all right,sister, you're going to hang out
here for a week and then we'regoing to figure out what to do
with you.
You said you also served in NewMexico.
So they sent you from Idaho toNew Mexico because that was far
enough away from the boy.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (14:13):
So I did have to go home.
I was home for six months and Icouldn't hold a calling.
Um, I was kind of on like churchdisciplinary, you know, kind of
thing, but I, it was notofficial.
They didn't
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (14:25):
Ah,
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (14:26):
do anything.
He just kind of kept me like,you know.
You know, and I just went to myfamily ward and then eventually
I was able to go to my singlesward while I was home for that
time just to get out and besocial.
Cause I wasn't working.
I
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (14:40):
right.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (14:40):
just hanging out waiting to go back
to hear from the area 70.
He was the one that was makingthe decision.
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130 (14:47):
Wow.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (14:47):
Got it.
How did that affect you on apersonal level?
Like, like, was, that had to behard to go back to church and be
like, Oh, yeah, I can't pray orI'm sorry, I'm not going to take
the sacrament or, you know, whatwas that like?
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (15:02):
it was awful.
Um, I mean, I, I came homebecause I, you know, broke rules
and I was told by my parents andmy church leaders to like lie
and say I was home for aconcussion.
And, um,
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_13 (15:15):
What?
leah_1_02-21-2025_1302 (15:16):
reasons, and then it's like, Oh, can't
take the sacrament?
Why can't you take thesacrament?
you can't pray in this class?
Why not?
So it was, it was awful.
Yeah.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (15:26):
They actually told you to lie about
it.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (15:28):
Yes.
Yes.
I,
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130 (15:30):
Wow.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (15:31):
my sisters, nobody knew.
I had no cousins.
Nobody knew why I was reallyhome for my
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (15:36):
Wow.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (15:37):
tell them.
Yeah.
brad_1_02-21-2025_ (15:38):
Interesting.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (15:40):
I guess they didn't want to take
the sacrament.
I don't know, make my parentslook bad or something.
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_1302 (15:45):
The shame runs deep.
Holy cow.
Wow.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (15:49):
that is surprising to me.
So after you're there for sixmonths and they're publicly
humiliated you enough, then theysaid, okay, now your humiliation
is over.
We can send you back to themission.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (16:00):
Yeah, and they asked me too, they,
they were, the Area 70 called meand said, do you want to go back
to Boise?
you want to go to somewhere new?
And I thought, well, I didn'teven think that I had a chance
to go back to Boise.
And so I said, yeah, I'll goback to Boise.
And then they came back and mymission president said it
wouldn't be good for me to comeback because there had been a
(16:21):
lot of rumors, you know, afterwe left and they shut down my
area that I was in.
And so, you know, they justdissolved it all.
And so yeah, then they werelike, sorry, you can't go back
to Boise.
And I said, okay, well, maybeI'll go to Temple Square.
I thought that would be a reallyfun kind of unique experience.
And they're like, no, we want tosend you to New Mexico in the
(16:41):
middle of nowhere on, you
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130 (16:43):
Wow.
Wow.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (16:52):
bad experience, because I hear
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (16:53):
good.
I obeyed every rule.
I didn't kiss any missionarieson that mission.
yeah, I returned with honor, Iwould say.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (17:02):
that's a catchphrase.
I love that you returned withhonor.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (17:05):
Mm
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (17:05):
Um, you know, it's interesting,
though, you will talk tomissionaries return
missionaries, right?
And you either get it was suchan amazing experience.
Best two years of my life, or itwas horrible.
I can't believe the trauma Ihave as a result.
I'm glad I learned a differentlanguage and culture, but.
The religious part with wastraumatic.
(17:25):
How would you describe yourwhole mission experience?
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (17:28):
it was amazing.
I thrived in it.
I mean I wanted to be there.
I loved the work I was doing.
I love the people.
I love serving others and so itwas easy and I would rather be
out than home with my parents.
So there's a eight year gapbetween me and the sister above
me.
Um, and so from 12 to 18, I wasthe only one living at home.
(17:51):
So like I was kind of an onlychild and I
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_1302 (17:54):
I'm going to give you a couple of
minutes to think about it, andthen we'll get started.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (18:18):
that that's a great way to take it as
a positive?
I think I love that you areactually aware enough to go.
Hey, this is healthier for me.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (18:26):
Yeah, it was.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (18:28):
So as you came back and you fast
forwarded what happened when youcame back?
Were you just like perfect MollyMormon?
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (18:35):
No, no.
I lost my virginity in betweenmy missions, which is a whole
other story.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (18:42):
You didn't tell us that part.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (18:44):
Yeah, so I will.
Um, so I, I couldn't have acalling, but they wanted me,
this was about a month or twobefore I went back on my
mission, so they wanted me toget back into the mission mode.
So I started going out with thesister missionaries in my young
single adult ward, and we wereteaching a guy, and he was cute,
and we got along, and, um, yeah,we started hanging out, and it
(19:06):
was on his actual, it was hisbaptism day.
We went back to his house, andwe, celebrated.
So I was like, yeah, let's dothis.
I don't, I don't mind.
Let's yeah, let's have fun.
So yeah, so I lied a lot, butwhen I got back, I went back
right into of that fun stuff Iwas doing before.
brad_1_02-21-2025_13022 (19:25):
Gotcha.
I, I like the, yeah, wecelebrated.
I'm going to start using that.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (19:29):
I had my first beer that night too.
So it
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (19:32):
Oh, right after he'd been baptized.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (19:35):
Right after he had been baptized.
Yeah.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (19:37):
That is a, kudos to you.
Um, way to buck the system.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (19:40):
Yeah, I did.
It was fun.
I enjoyed it.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (19:43):
Well, okay.
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_1 (19:44):
wasn't that really hard for you to go
back out into the mission fieldand act like nothing.
Happens when you had done thisstuff over here.
No.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (19:54):
I was so numb to any punishment or
however anyone thought that Ijust I was like I didn't care
and he knew too I was like, youknow I'm going back on my
mission and he was all for it.
He's like, yeah, I want to seeyou go like have fun You know,
so I and there was it wasn'tserious So I didn't feel like I
had to you know, stay back forhim and battle that it was just
like I just want to have fun andexperience this and know, he was
(20:18):
open to it and he had alreadyexperienced it himself.
So I was like, all right, like Itrusted him and we're still
friends.
So it, you know, it's kind ofnice to look back on that and be
like,
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_13 (20:29):
Nice.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (20:29):
that's what happened.
And I'm sorry, I was not thebest example, but fine.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (20:34):
it's essentially you experience the
same things that normal collegeage kids should go and
experience.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (20:40):
Yeah, yeah, it was awesome.
I don't regret it at all.
Yeah.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (20:44):
Well, Leah.
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_1302 (20:46):
Oh, shoot.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (20:47):
Have you read the miracle of
forgiveness?
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (20:50):
Yes.
My mother forced me to read itwhen I was like 16.
Just to get it in my brain Yeah,
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (21:00):
I'm sorry.
I couldn't resist.
I've like, I've got just thething for you.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (21:04):
I Love it.
That's
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_1302 (21:06):
Oh,
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (21:10):
and, and obviously I think you, feels
like you already kind of hadyour shelf break and you're
like, eh, it's not my thing.
Um, how did that work out foryou?
And what was really, you know,that, uh, that game changer for
you?
And, and how did you approachthat with your family?
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (21:27):
Yeah.
I mean I still believed I stilllike I wanted to get married in
the temple Even when I got back,so I I looked for a Mormon boy,
and I moved to Provo Um, Ithought, well, this will be a
good environment for me.
I'll be around a lot of peoplemy age.
And, um, no, it was the mosthorniest party town I'd ever
been to.
I mean, it was worse than whatkids do in California.
(21:50):
I mean, really, it's just crazy.
And, um, I went on a lot ofTinder dates and so it's just, I
was still going to churchthough.
I still really believed I waslooking for a spouse.
And then, um, yeah, I met myhusband on Tinder and he is from
Ogden, which Ogden and Provo arevery, very, very different
towns.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (22:11):
Yes.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (22:12):
Yeah.
I mean, we got married likethree months later.
So it was just like, I didn't,my parents accepted it because
he was Mormon.
So my parents were like, Oh,this is great.
We can, you can come back.
Like you guys can get activetogether and maybe get sealed.
And my mom had a dream.
about my dad hugging my husbandin the temple and white.
And my mom told me that thiswould happen one day.
(22:33):
She like manifested that, youknow, we, we would get sealed in
the temple eventually.
And so I tried, I tried.
And then my husband was in ananthropology class in college.
And that's when I was like, Ohshit, like, this is not real.
There's so much more out therethan just Mormonism and Joseph
Smith.
And that's, that's really wheremy shelf fell.
Just completely fell was I waslike, oh, yeah, this is not this
(22:56):
is not true.
There's no way there's no way it
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_1 (23:01):
Right.
So it was his anthropologyclasses and the looking at the
historical facts of things thatyou were like, yeah, this is
bullshit.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (23:10):
Yeah, the
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130 (23:11):
Wow.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (23:12):
and letter for my wife letter for my
wife was another one
nannette-_1_02-21- (23:17):
interesting.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (23:18):
my shelf Yeah, Mind blown about the
facts about Joseph Smith, youknow, it still baffles me that I
was so fooled and I didn't seeit
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (23:29):
You know, it seems like they're very
good at obscuring the historythat's not positive to them.
And you're never taught thosethings, right?
I was always, as I grew up, Iwas always taught Brigham Young
started polygamy because therewere so many men that died
crossing the plains, and thewomen needed someone to take
care of them, so they startedpolygamy.
(23:50):
And then I started learning,wait a minute, that's BS!
Because Joseph started it, andEmma hated it! And All of this
stuff starts to come to light.
And the more you learn, the moreyou go, I
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130 (24:03):
the,
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (24:04):
so lied to for all of these years.
And even if they were just liesof omission, it's still lies.
Right.
And that was, it was like anarrow to my heart when, when I
started finding this stuff out.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (24:17):
yeah, I I questioned Emma at one point
too, and I was like whathappened to Emma?
And I remember asking my husbandhe's
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_1302 (24:24):
Um,
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (24:54):
And um, I, I think shame on the
Mormon church for making a lotof people fooled at their
relationship, you know, causeit's just,
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (25:00):
Yeah.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (25:01):
it was.
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130 (25:02):
It's crazy, wow.
I know I look back on my, myjourney too and I was so in
until I was like 48 years old,like so in trying to fit inside
that little Mormon box and Ibelieved it all with all of my
heart.
But I was, I was born into thechurch and so I didn't know any
different.
And, um, I guess I borrowedpeople's, people's testimonies,
(25:23):
but.
Boy, when my world shattered andI started seeing spirits with my
human eyes.
Nobody could help me.
It was like, wait a second.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (25:32):
Yes.
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130 (25:34):
what is going on?
And, and no one can help me.
You're, you have thesepriesthood leaders, you know,
and it's supposed to be the truechurch, right?
Jesus is supposed to be the headof it, and they, they can't tell
me why I'm seeing things thatI'm seeing.
And I'm like, um, this doesn'tmake sense.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (25:48):
have all the answers.
They don't have all the answers.
That's
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_1302 (25:51):
No, no, they,
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (25:53):
And they'll convince you.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (25:55):
Yes.
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130 (25:56):
they cheat all of us out of our
birthright as a soul, because wecome to this earth with all of
these heavenly gifts, but theycheat us out of it because we're
supposed to follow the prophetonly and not get in touch with
our own gifts that we come toearth with.
And so a lot of people don'teven know or, Don't even
believe, you know, in, in beingin touch with the other side or,
you know, feeling our loved onesthat have passed and it just, it
(26:19):
blows my mind that it's not athing that it's not a natural
thing that we talk about and,and embrace,
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (26:25):
Yeah, and
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_13 (26:25):
know, and
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (26:25):
think after, like, Baptisms for the
Dead and things that they do inthe temple, like, they should
be, but yeah, they're not.
They're not.
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_13 (26:32):
yeah, it's so crazy.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (26:35):
Yeah.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (26:36):
Well, and I think it's.
It's scary for them, right?
Because they want to have allthe answers, but they don't.
And if they admit that theydon't know, then somehow it
weakens their position.
To me, I like it much betterwhen someone says, Shit, I don't
know.
I'll see what I can find out,though.
You know, go and do someresearch.
Let me know.
(26:57):
If you don't know the answer,it's okay.
I would have so much morerespect.
leah_1_02-21-2025_130235 (27:00):
I feel like sometimes when people ask
me questions on, my page, youknow, I feel like it's been so
long since I've gone through anendowment session that it's hard
for me to be like, okay, here'sstep by step.
Like, cause I it's been so longand my brain has really
forgotten a lot of that stuff.
Um,
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_13 (27:16):
Yeah.
leah_1_02-21-2025_1302 (27:17):
remember it, yeah, it's like, Oh no.
Like that's, that's not good.
You know, it's, It's unhealthy.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (27:24):
Yeah.
Well, like when I was coming outof anesthesia, and I'll let you
talk about that, Nand.
nannette-_1_02-21-2025_1302 (27:32):
No, you say it.
You brought it up.
brad_1_02-21-2025_130227 (27:35):
Well, okay, so, you know, before you
go through your endowmentsession, there's the washing and
anointing, right?
And I remember being completelyoverwhelmed.
So, um, my girlfriend in highschool got pregnant.
Um, obviously, you know, Ididn't go on a mission after
that.
They, they don't like youngfathers to be missionaries.
(27:56):
Um, but we did end up gettingmarried and, you know, a year
after we got married, We'regoing to go through the temple.
All right, here we go.
And nobody prepared me for thiswashing and anointing thing,
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