December 12, 2024 • 24 mins
Part 3 of the collaboration between the Mormon to Medium Podcast and the Shit Behind the Show Podcast. This episode discusses the importance of listening to spirit to help friends, family, and loved ones. We emphasize the importance of having good friends who can help during a crisis, and Brad's great voice!
Did you know you can schedule a reading or energy balance with Nannette? All you have to do is go to this link and arrange your session. She even does remote readings and proxy balances so you're in luck if you don't live in the same area.
Are you ready to add Touch for Health to your first aid kit? Sign up for Nannette's classes and learn how to move energy and talk to the body. Tap on this link for more details.
If you want to learn more, have questions, suggestions, or just want to say hello please contact us here. Thank you for listening and for all the love and support!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Nannette (00:01):
Welcome to the Mormon to medium podcast, where we'll
talk about spirituality, theparanormal religion, and my
journey going from Mormon tomedium.
I'm Nanette Wride.
Thanks for listening.
Now let's go have some fun.
Brad (00:20):
Welcome to the show.
This is the last of our threepart series collaboration with
the ship behind the showpodcast.
Be warned.
This episode does deal withsensitive topics, including
suicidal ideation, along withimmature jokes and adult themes.
Listener discretion is advised.
Oh, I almost forgot, make sureto listen to episodes 93 and 94
(00:43):
to catch up on the first part ofthis conversation.
Christine (00:47):
I actually had a psychic once tell me that, and
so far she, everything on thetimeline that she told me, this
was when I first started myhealing journey.
She gave me a reading of like mywhole life.
And told me the house I wasgoing to buy all of this.
And she said, um, your guy,you're going to meet him and
(01:09):
he's everything on your list,which I didn't tell her I had a
list.
I have a list too, my phone.
And she said, uh, and has donehis work.
And at that time I was like,done his
Brad (01:19):
you're like, what
Nannette (01:20):
I just got full body chills.
I kid you not.
Christine (01:23):
she was, I was like done his work.
I hadn't even fucking done mywork.
Like what the hell, you know, Ididn't really understand what
she meant at that time because Imeant, cause I, I hadn't, I was
just barely starting my journeywhen I talked to her.
So
Brad (01:39):
cool.
Christine (01:40):
she told me I would be speaking to the world and
this was before my podcast.
Nannette (01:45):
That's so
Christine (01:46):
get on it.
find him.
Brad (01:49):
with
Christine (01:51):
Thank you.
You, you are actually very muchappreciated.
So yes, I, I absolutely loveyour story.
I love when I see posts that youtwo post about each other.
Like it.
You can tell it's genuine.
It's not just like, Oh, myspouse is the best to throw it
out there on social
Brad (02:12):
Have you ever seen those, those couples where you go, oh
shit, they're struggling.
Look at all these posts that aregoing extra and overboard and
you can tell and you're like, ohyeah.
They're just trying to, to makeeveryone think it's good
Christine (02:25):
Oh, people probably laugh at me.
Because people know what's goingon now.
Not that I have not meant it,like not that when I've posted
pictures and I have said like,this guy's being great.
He is in the moment, right?
Everything's great in themoment.
But a lot of people close to meare like, okay, I'm glad he's
being good right now.
Brad (02:44):
being good right now.
I know him like that and I makefun You know, I won't say names
or go
Christine (02:58):
I have a friend like that and I make fun of her all
the time
Brad (03:00):
um,
Christine (03:01):
you know, I won't say names or go into specifics, but
I mean, he, went on a quoteunquote work trip
Brad (03:08):
my
Christine (03:09):
and, um, she posts, Oh, my man is so great.
He changed the battery in my keyfob and he changes the oil.
And I'm like, okay.
And he just got back from a worktrip where he called her and he
was with another woman.
Brad (03:23):
Wow.
And are no
Christine (03:27):
And we are no longer friends because I called him
out.
I called him out on it and she'snot allowed to hang out with
Brad (03:35):
And she's not allowed
Christine (03:39):
to him.
I was like, not okay.
Brad (03:41):
him.
Yeah.
Christine (03:44):
Yeah, I texted him and I said, you need to do
better, bro.
And yeah, she's, we are nolonger
Brad (03:50):
you need to do bro.
And, yeah.
Christine (03:58):
Only your husband,
Nannette (03:59):
know.
And you want one like that?
Christine (04:01):
I mean, it, it keeps things entertaining.
I kid,
Nannette (04:04):
I kid you not.
He, he is hilarious every dayand I never know what he's going
to do.
Like literally, seriously, acouple of months ago, I'm in
taking a shower, you know, steamall over the place.
I'm washing my hair and he comesin and turns the camera.
So like he's in the camera andthen I'm in the background and
he takes a picture and I noticedit.
(04:25):
So I cover my boobies and I'mlike, Oh, like you're going to
get, what are you doing?
He just does like his goofy faceand then he sends it to me and
I'm like, he goes, that's thecutest face of you.
And I'm just like.
There are boundaries.
There are certain times whenyou're, you're just not funny,
but he always like he'll find myphone and I, I'll have like six
Christine (04:50):
selfies back to back You just posted
Nannette (04:52):
and he'll literally, but no, it's a thing I can show
you.
There's hundreds
Christine (04:56):
He's just going through snapping.
Nannette (04:58):
Yeah.
There's some sexy ones.
There's some funny ones.
There's some, his eyes arebulging out.
There's some where you only seethis much of his face.
Like, I mean, it's hilarious.
He's like every single day he.
He has something new and I thinkthere's just a party in his head
all the time.
Christine (05:13):
Yeah, I agree.
Brad (05:14):
There definitely is.
Nobody wants to be inside thisbrain.
Christine (05:18):
I think we used to have contests at work.
Who was the funniest you and I,I think we were like
Brad (05:24):
that was unofficial.
I wasn't ever told that.
Christine (05:28):
No, no, no, no, no, no.
I don't think it was ever said,but I just feel like everybody
was like, okay, the clowns arehere.
Brad (05:35):
Well, we just had fun though.
I mean, that, that was, ifyou've got to spend time at
work, you may as well have fun.
Christine (05:42):
We did have fun there.
Nannette (05:43):
Yeah.
Christine (05:44):
We probably offended a lot of people.
Brad (05:47):
Do you know what though?
I think we, we kept it prettyprofessional when other people
were
Christine (05:51):
when certain people were, there were
Brad (05:57):
were some people that understood.
Okay, so let me ask you this,Nan.
Who do you think Christine'sfavorite Book of Mormon
character is?
Nannette (06:06):
T.
N.
Cone.
Brad (06:08):
Tee and Come!
Christine (06:09):
Now who I don't!
Nannette (06:13):
don't! T.
N.
Cone.
He's
Brad (06:15):
and Come.
Christine (06:16):
Cone.
No, no,
Brad (06:19):
Waldron bought you
Christine (06:20):
bought you that.
Yeah, I
Brad (06:23):
I don't think
Nannette (06:24):
he's gonna love hearing his name.
Brad (06:25):
Yeah.
Chris
Christine (06:26):
Oh, of course.
Brad (06:27):
We love him.
Christine (06:28):
Yeah, Yeah.
So I came into work and there'sthe figurine on my desk.
And
Brad (06:33):
Did I buy it?
Maybe I did.
I don't remember.
I just remember you had a, hadthe action figure.
Christine (06:38):
Yeah.
It
Brad (06:39):
It wasn't a doll.
It's an action
Christine (06:40):
an action.
Okay.
I don't even know what happenedto that.
Brad (06:43):
Waldron probably has it.
We'll have to, okay, um,Waldron, if you have T and Com,
um, please reach out.
Let us know.
Christine (06:51):
Yeah.
Brad (06:52):
Christine misses him.
Christine (06:54):
I was the butt of most jokes, but I, I loved it.
I did love it because everyone,I would walk in in the morning
all bubbly again, though what Ilearned that about myself at
that time, I was funny.
I made everyone else laugh, butI would go home and cry
Brad (07:12):
Oh.
Christine (07:13):
pretty much every day.
It was like.
I lived to make others happy andlaugh and joke all the time, but
I was hiding a lot.
Hence the shit behind the show.
You know, there, you put on thisbig show and this mask, like
everything's great.
Look at me.
I'm living this great life.
People post tons of pictures onsocial media.
Like, Oh, look at me having fun.
(07:34):
Look at me with my kids.
And really behind all of that,they are dying inside.
Brad (07:38):
inside.
Christine (07:40):
And that was, yeah.
And that was me.
Yeah.
And, I don't know if you knowthis part Nan, we could go on
for hours here by the way.
It's
Brad (07:48):
It's okay, I'm gonna make this
Christine (07:50):
show.
I know.
I was just going to say that.
Uh, so I was going through themessiest divorce.
My baby daddy turned my kidsagainst me
Nannette (08:01):
Whoa.
Christine (08:02):
went months without seeing them.
That hands down is the hardestthing I've been through in my
life.
Nannette (08:08):
That is heartbreaking for a mom.
Christine (08:10):
it was so heartbreaking.
And this guy, I, I came intowork one day and I'll try to
keep myself composed.
Um, I didn't cry for a year.
Nannette (08:22):
yeah, hinder those.
Christine (08:23):
And thank you.
And I walked into work one dayand he happened for some reason
was sitting by the door.
I don't even know why, becausethat wasn't because our offices
were upstairs and he was sittingdown on the main level and I was
running a little late and Iwalked in and he's like, Tanner,
what's wrong?
(08:44):
And I just started sobbing.
And I said, Brad, I couldn'tfind the pills.
Like, I had been that morningsearching for a bottle of pills
to end it, and I couldn't findhim.
And he's like, listen, you'regoing to therapy fucking now.
And I sobbed and sobbed.
And I said, this is the firsttime I've cried in a year.
(09:06):
And he's like, let it out.
Ugly cry.
He always made fun of my uglycrying too.
Um, so he called my boss got meexcused.
I got into therapy that day.
I don't know what would havehappened had he not intervened
and it was like he just knew assoon as I walked in the door, he
just looked at me and he's like,what the hell?
(09:26):
You know what's wrong?
And, and yeah, I, I've told himbefore you saved my life.
He's like, I And I'm like, Idon't know.
I don't know what I would havedone.
I may have just gone into work,gone about my day and found
another way.
I don't know.
Um, a week later, a week afterI'd gone through some therapy, I
went home, opened my closet.
The pills were right where I hadbeen searching for them and
(09:49):
could not find them.
They were right there, justright in front.
So I was like, I was notsupposed to do that.
I'm supposed to be here, but itwas so heartbreaking in those
moments.
And so before court, You know, Iwould be going into court and I
would go to him and just sob,like a big brother, right?
It was, and he would just tellme, do your ugly cry thing.
(10:11):
And, and I, I was so grateful.
I am still for that friendshipbecause it felt so lonely and so
tough, so hard at that time to,to deal with that, you know, not
seeing your children.
That is one of the mosttraumatic
Brad (10:28):
experiences That would be horrible.
Christine (10:30):
Yeah,
Nannette (10:30):
Yeah, definitely.
I can't even imagine
Christine (10:33):
for me and my boys from going from a stay at home
mom being involved in everythingto not seeing them and then he
would turn their phones off,like completely shut them off.
So I could not speak to them.
I was threatened if I came tothe house that they had a
restraining or try to get arestraining order, but he would
call the police and have meremoved from the premises like
(10:55):
he was just dirty with it.
Now I have the most amazingrelationship with my boys.
They all see it.
We're all sad about it becausewe missed out on so much, but I
have the better relationship.
You know, it turned out better.
Nannette (11:10):
the better mom now because you've done a lot of
work on yourself so you can bemore healthy with them.
I'm so glad that you had Bradand you know, he, he's super
gifted in so, so, so many ways.
His intuition, it is on themoney.
It always has been, um, always,um, It.
(11:30):
I can't even tell you how manytimes he'll be like, I just had
a dream about so and so.
I need to call them, or I justhave this feeling about so and
so I need to go have aconversation with them or like,
he's always on alert for thingsthat are going on and, um, I
completely, I'm so glad that hewas there for you and I'm so
(11:50):
glad that you had him as yourbig brother and you deserve a
Brad.
You need, you deserve a brad forChristine.
Brad (11:57):
Well, the world is a better place with you in
Nannette (11:59):
Absolutely.
Christine (12:01):
you.
Yeah, it was, it was a really,you know, it was a really hard
time.
And every time I get back up, hewas kicking me back down the X,
you know, and it was like, I'vebeen going through a lot lately,
but that hands down was thehardest time of my life.
It was, it was terrible.
So, so yeah, I'm very gratefulthat we had that friendship and
(12:22):
I was so happy for him.
Again, he was like, he wouldjust walk in all googly eyed and
I'm like, like, whatever.
I'm just over here being a shitshow.
Nannette (12:32):
I don't, I don't know.
He married a shisho, so I just,I was just telling him last
night here, I had a really hardSorry.
I was just telling him lastnight and you, you saw my post
on, on Facebook.
I can't believe I get to bemarried to you.
I can't believe that you'rehere.
(12:53):
And I just told him how gratefulI was for him last night because
a normal guy would have ran awaya whole long time ago because.
I'm not good certain times ofthe year and you can't see it
come in like all of a suddenit's this festering sore that I
(13:13):
just lose my shit and he is theone that has to pull me together
or hold space for me and he ishas always been willing to sit
in my shit with me.
And just hold that space and healways asked me what can I do
and I don't know what he can doother than just let me know that
I'm
Christine (13:33):
you
Nannette (13:34):
to be able to go through whatever I'm going
through.
So, um, remember how I was justtalking to you about the, the
traumas and how one trigger willmake them all come down.
I learned that from my awesomecounselor, Justin, who we've had
on the show.
And um, I, I went to him.
Yesterday.
Yeah, yesterday.
So a couple days ago, um,somebody, um, had posted
(13:58):
actually I'll, I'll back up tolast June.
Some, some stranger had reachedout on messenger who were not
friends.
Okay.
And you know how when, whensomeone's not a friend on
messenger, it's like backbehind, you know, friend
requests or whatever, and youhardly ever see them.
Christine (14:11):
Yeah.
Nannette (14:12):
Well, he had said, I'm writing a book about Corey and
I'd really like you to beinvolved.
He didn't ask if I wanted him towrite the book, didn't know who
he was.
And he's like, it's a true crimeand, and this is what I'm going
to do.
And I felt very violated.
And it sent me kind of circlingthe drain back last June.
(14:33):
And so I just never answered himbecause I was like, he's a nut
job, like whatever, not going toaddress this.
Well, a couple of days ago, hegot it on.
I'm not going to go into detailsbecause people can actually
track this shit down.
But, um, he had said he, he hadbeen asking for stories about
Corey to add to this book.
(14:55):
And then he went through andthanked like all of these people
that had helped him pull thingstogether.
And he had actually, grandmarequested all of the police
reports.
All of the court records, had myhusband's personnel file, um,
all the way down to the placeshe worked and like everything,
all of this personalinformation.
(15:17):
And, He was asking for all thisstuff, but these people that he
listed, I felt betrayed becausethey never said anything to me,
number one.
So I felt betrayed by thembecause I thought that they
should protect our family.
Because here, I might have adash cam video of my husband's
murder.
Out there somewhere that myChildren might see and I still
(15:39):
don't do not know that it's notout there.
I have the sheriff's departmentlooking into that with the
county attorneys and all that tosee if they actually did release
that because that's beensomething that I have said.
Absolutely no.
Christine (15:50):
Yeah.
Nannette (15:51):
During the murder trial, I had some of my kids
that wanted to see the dash camvideo and you can actually hear
my husband take his last breathsand you can hear the shots so
you can hear all of the thingsthat happened.
So, um, but there are some of mychildren and my grandchildren
that did not want to see that.
And it is.
Um, I think that that should bea protected space and it should
(16:12):
not be something that's everpublic.
And if anybody gets a hold ofthat, it should be our family
when we're damn good and ready.
And so I had all of thesethings, but I literally felt
like I did the week that ithappened.
I felt panicky, like I'm on thismerry go round going so fast
that it can't stop.
(16:32):
I couldn't breathe.
I couldn't cope.
I just wanted to run.
And Brad's like, He's seen me dothis before, but not for a
really long time.
I mean, I'm coming up on 11years.
So I was like, I don'tunderstand why I'm reacting this
way, why this is such a trigger,why I'm feeling so violated, why
(16:53):
I'm feeling so betrayed.
And.
Why this is all happening.
I need to understand this.
I literally curled up on thecouch in there and I did not
move the whole day.
He brought me in half of hisannex and I don't like to take
stuff.
He's like, take this.
And he's like, you need this.
And I'm like, no.
And he kind of fought with me alittle bit.
He's like, no, take this so thatyou can at least get calm enough
(17:14):
to deal with this.
I was like, okay.
So I took it and I literallyjust sobbed.
The whole day, like I couldn'tcope and I'm sitting in my shit
going like, why am I acting likethis?
I've done so much healing, doneso much work and he, he kept
coming in.
What can I do?
What can I do?
And I'm like, I don't know.
And then I looked at him and Isaid, I need you to make him
(17:35):
stop.
I need you to find out who heis.
I need you, like I gave him alist and he went and did it.
He went and.
I read everything, told me whothis person was and that he was
a fruit cup and like all thesedifferent things and, and put my
soul at ease by the eveningtime.
But he was just like, just tellme what to do and I'll do it.
Like literally if I told himthat I wanted him to go fuck the
(17:58):
guy up, I think he probablywould have at this point, like
he would do anything for me.
And I, I know that, but Iliterally, I didn't.
I didn't, here I am this healerand I help all these people and
I've done my work.
I have done my, my work, butthat's why I went to Justin
yesterday because I'm like, mycounseling appointments aren't,
you go in and you dump.
It's Justin.
(18:19):
I need tools.
This is what happened.
Tell me the tools.
Why the fuck did I do this?
Why is this?
What's the mechanism so I canfix it?
Because I overanalyzeeverything.
Christine (18:29):
the same thing with mine, so
Nannette (18:31):
Yeah.
So you totally get it.
Right?
Well, the funny thing is, isJustin's trying to understand
everything and I have not toldhim everything.
He doesn't know everything.
He knows my husband was killed.
He knows the basics.
He's been on our show.
He's talked to us, but he doesnot know all of my trauma.
And so he, he starts asking mequestions and then.
All of the traumas start comingout.
(18:52):
Like right after my husband'skilled, some of the officers
actually did very inappropriatesexual things towards me.
Here I am this victim and I haveofficers doing things towards
me, but no one did anythingabout that.
And then they kind of groupedtogether and spread rumors about
me that I slept with the wholedepartment and it's still coming
(19:13):
back to me by new people that goto the department.
Oh yeah, we've heard you sleptwith most of the department,
which I wish my life were That
Christine (19:20):
was.
Brad (19:21):
That would be a good movie.
Nannette (19:22):
asked Brad a whole bunch for like three and a half
years, but he was, he was itlike whatever.
But, um, I, I just felt soviolated and betrayed.
So I'm telling Justin all thisstuff and he's like, I had no
idea.
Like, he's like, you have layerupon layer upon layer, like
trauma, trauma, trauma, trauma,trauma, trauma, trauma, trauma,
trauma, trauma, trauma.
(19:42):
And then this insignificantfruit cup over here flicks the
switch and all the trauma falls.
On your shoulders and that'swhat you're dealing with.
And it made sense.
I was like, that's why I feellike I'm drowning because I am
like literally rape energy andbetrayal energy and abuse energy
and like all of this stuff justwent, boom, all at once and it's
(20:06):
not from lack of me.
doing my work.
It's because I haven't severedthe traumas from each other.
They're still connected.
So it's like, it's kind of likea, like your hormones, you know,
if one goes down, they all godown type of thing.
Brad (20:20):
You know how you make a hormone, right?
Christine (20:22):
ha ha.
Ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha.
Brad (20:24):
pair.
Christine (20:24):
ha ha.
Ha ha ha.
Ha
Nannette (20:27):
And he's a pro.
Yeah.
Just the tip, Brad.
But he's had to hold space forme.
That is very ugly.
Um, very, very ugly.
And, and additionally with whereyou were at, I'm Don't take this
wrong, but I'm grateful that hehad that experience because he
had to do the same thing exceptfor he physically picked me up
and took me for help because Ihad a five way plan and I was
(20:50):
going to do And, he, he's aprotector, you know, and, um, He
just doesn't, he will doanything to make sure someone
feels safe.
And I think that that's why Ikept a hold of him because my
safe was And he also doesn'tborrow from my energy.
He lets me just be me and he ishim.
And, and that's a beautifulthing.
(21:11):
Cause we're both big energy and.
I don't, I don't have to beanyone or fake like I'm anybody.
But last night when I'm tellinghim, I'm like, I am so grateful
that you haven't run.
I'm so grateful that you'vestuck with me.
And thank you for taking care ofus and being the safe place.
And I'm just crying.
And I'm just like, sorry, I'm amess.
I freaking hate that I am.
(21:31):
And he goes, it comes with theterritory.
I'm like, he goes, I know what Imarried.
I'm just like.
What does that mean?
I know I married a widow, but
Christine (21:39):
I love it.
Nannette (21:40):
he, I'm pretty sure he has wings,
Christine (21:42):
Yeah.
Then I do.
Then you can find that quote.
Get on it!
Brad (21:47):
book.
Christine (21:48):
Teach a class! Right?
Nannette (21:50):
right?
Christine (21:50):
call a master
Brad (21:53):
a master class
Christine (21:54):
Yeah.
Brad (21:55):
Don't be a douche bag.
I don't know.
You wouldn't think
Christine (21:58):
You wouldn't think it'd be that hard, but You
Brad (22:00):
but.
You
Christine (22:03):
I knew it.
I knew it.
I can't.
Nannette (22:05):
You guys lost me at master.
Okay.
Brad (22:08):
shit.
Christine (22:08):
And welcome to my life.
Brad (22:10):
Yep.
And that's where we're at.
Christine (22:13):
Anyway.
we ready?
Brad (22:15):
thank you so much for being on the show and
collaborating with us.
This is awesome.
Christine (22:20):
Thank you to both of you.
It's been fun.
I wish we could do this everyweek.
Brad (22:25):
Right?
Nannette (22:26):
We should
Christine (22:27):
four
Nannette (22:27):
it.
We should do it more often.
Yeah, just like be a regular
Christine (22:31):
Yeah.
because we learned that we can'tdo it over Zoom.
Nannette (22:35):
No,
Brad (22:35):
the spirits mess with it, so.
Um,
Christine (22:38):
They're like, um, no, you guys need to be in the same
room.
Brad (22:40):
Exactly.
Have a cup of coffee togetherand just chill
Nannette (22:44):
to my her favorite thing.
Mom, just chill your tits, It's
Brad (22:52):
Nan starts getting a little intense and Kylie will
remind her, Nan, just chill yourtits.
It's okay.
Another
Christine (22:58):
Another t shirt
Brad (22:59):
Yeah.
Right.
That's a good one.
There's a lot of possibilitieswith that t shirt.
Nannette (23:04):
have two
Brad (23:06):
You have two little ice cubes right where the nips are.
Christine (23:08):
This guy.
Nannette (23:10):
That's because he has diamond cutters for tits.
Seriously, his nipples alwaysstick out.
Like, tune in Tokyo.
Brad (23:17):
Do you know what?
I don't think it's very kind tomake fun of people's physical
Christine (23:21):
Yes, you do.
Okay, thanks again.
Brad (23:27):
Yeah.
Thank you.
Hey, everyone out there, pleasemake sure you tune in and listen
to the ship behind the showpodcast.
It's a great show.
You get to hear a lot more aboutChristine and her story, and
it's a ton of fun.
You can listen to it anywhereyou get your podcast, right?
Christine (23:42):
And also please tune into Mormon to medium.
You know, I listened to very fewpodcasts, but I love yours, but
I, I dislike Brad's voicebecause it's, it's so perfect.
Brad (23:53):
so perfect.
Oh
Nannette (23:55):
He has a broadcaster voice, right?
Not fair.
Christine (23:57):
Perfect for podcasting.
And I'm
Brad (23:59):
I'm jealous.
Wow.
This show has really boosted myego
Christine (24:04):
I think so.
Brad (24:05):
I, I really appreciate the two of you.
Thank you so much for making mefeel very good.
Nannette (24:11):
You're welcome for stroking your
Brad (24:13):
your ego.
Christine (24:14):
And until next time.
Brad (24:17):
Yep.
Thank you so much.
We'll see you.
Bye.
Nannette (24:20):
see
Welcome to the Mormon to medium podcast, where we'll
talk about spirituality, theparanormal religion, and my
journey going from Mormon tomedium.
I'm Nanette Wride.
Thanks for listening.
Now let's go have some fun.
Brad (00:20):
Welcome to the show.
This is the last of our threepart series collaboration with
the ship behind the showpodcast.
Be warned.
This episode does deal withsensitive topics, including
suicidal ideation, along withimmature jokes and adult themes.
Listener discretion is advised.
Oh, I almost forgot, make sureto listen to episodes 93 and 94
(00:43):
to catch up on the first part ofthis conversation.
Christine (00:47):
I actually had a psychic once tell me that, and
so far she, everything on thetimeline that she told me, this
was when I first started myhealing journey.
She gave me a reading of like mywhole life.
And told me the house I wasgoing to buy all of this.
And she said, um, your guy,you're going to meet him and
(01:09):
he's everything on your list,which I didn't tell her I had a
list.
I have a list too, my phone.
And she said, uh, and has donehis work.
And at that time I was like,done his
Brad (01:19):
you're like, what
Nannette (01:20):
I just got full body chills.
I kid you not.
Christine (01:23):
she was, I was like done his work.
I hadn't even fucking done mywork.
Like what the hell, you know, Ididn't really understand what
she meant at that time because Imeant, cause I, I hadn't, I was
just barely starting my journeywhen I talked to her.
So
Brad (01:39):
cool.
Christine (01:40):
she told me I would be speaking to the world and
this was before my podcast.
Nannette (01:45):
That's so
Christine (01:46):
get on it.
find him.
Brad (01:49):
with
Christine (01:51):
Thank you.
You, you are actually very muchappreciated.
So yes, I, I absolutely loveyour story.
I love when I see posts that youtwo post about each other.
Like it.
You can tell it's genuine.
It's not just like, Oh, myspouse is the best to throw it
out there on social
Brad (02:12):
Have you ever seen those, those couples where you go, oh
shit, they're struggling.
Look at all these posts that aregoing extra and overboard and
you can tell and you're like, ohyeah.
They're just trying to, to makeeveryone think it's good
Christine (02:25):
Oh, people probably laugh at me.
Because people know what's goingon now.
Not that I have not meant it,like not that when I've posted
pictures and I have said like,this guy's being great.
He is in the moment, right?
Everything's great in themoment.
But a lot of people close to meare like, okay, I'm glad he's
being good right now.
Brad (02:44):
being good right now.
I know him like that and I makefun You know, I won't say names
or go
Christine (02:58):
I have a friend like that and I make fun of her all
the time
Brad (03:00):
um,
Christine (03:01):
you know, I won't say names or go into specifics, but
I mean, he, went on a quoteunquote work trip
Brad (03:08):
my
Christine (03:09):
and, um, she posts, Oh, my man is so great.
He changed the battery in my keyfob and he changes the oil.
And I'm like, okay.
And he just got back from a worktrip where he called her and he
was with another woman.
Brad (03:23):
Wow.
And are no
Christine (03:27):
And we are no longer friends because I called him
out.
I called him out on it and she'snot allowed to hang out with
Brad (03:35):
And she's not allowed
Christine (03:39):
to him.
I was like, not okay.
Brad (03:41):
him.
Yeah.
Christine (03:44):
Yeah, I texted him and I said, you need to do
better, bro.
And yeah, she's, we are nolonger
Brad (03:50):
you need to do bro.
And, yeah.
Christine (03:58):
Only your husband,
Nannette (03:59):
know.
And you want one like that?
Christine (04:01):
I mean, it, it keeps things entertaining.
I kid,
Nannette (04:04):
I kid you not.
He, he is hilarious every dayand I never know what he's going
to do.
Like literally, seriously, acouple of months ago, I'm in
taking a shower, you know, steamall over the place.
I'm washing my hair and he comesin and turns the camera.
So like he's in the camera andthen I'm in the background and
he takes a picture and I noticedit.
(04:25):
So I cover my boobies and I'mlike, Oh, like you're going to
get, what are you doing?
He just does like his goofy faceand then he sends it to me and
I'm like, he goes, that's thecutest face of you.
And I'm just like.
There are boundaries.
There are certain times whenyou're, you're just not funny,
but he always like he'll find myphone and I, I'll have like six
Christine (04:50):
selfies back to back You just posted
Nannette (04:52):
and he'll literally, but no, it's a thing I can show
you.
There's hundreds
Christine (04:56):
He's just going through snapping.
Nannette (04:58):
Yeah.
There's some sexy ones.
There's some funny ones.
There's some, his eyes arebulging out.
There's some where you only seethis much of his face.
Like, I mean, it's hilarious.
He's like every single day he.
He has something new and I thinkthere's just a party in his head
all the time.
Christine (05:13):
Yeah, I agree.
Brad (05:14):
There definitely is.
Nobody wants to be inside thisbrain.
Christine (05:18):
I think we used to have contests at work.
Who was the funniest you and I,I think we were like
Brad (05:24):
that was unofficial.
I wasn't ever told that.
Christine (05:28):
No, no, no, no, no, no.
I don't think it was ever said,but I just feel like everybody
was like, okay, the clowns arehere.
Brad (05:35):
Well, we just had fun though.
I mean, that, that was, ifyou've got to spend time at
work, you may as well have fun.
Christine (05:42):
We did have fun there.
Nannette (05:43):
Yeah.
Christine (05:44):
We probably offended a lot of people.
Brad (05:47):
Do you know what though?
I think we, we kept it prettyprofessional when other people
were
Christine (05:51):
when certain people were, there were
Brad (05:57):
were some people that understood.
Okay, so let me ask you this,Nan.
Who do you think Christine'sfavorite Book of Mormon
character is?
Nannette (06:06):
T.
N.
Cone.
Brad (06:08):
Tee and Come!
Christine (06:09):
Now who I don't!
Nannette (06:13):
don't! T.
N.
Cone.
He's
Brad (06:15):
and Come.
Christine (06:16):
Cone.
No, no,
Brad (06:19):
Waldron bought you
Christine (06:20):
bought you that.
Yeah, I
Brad (06:23):
I don't think
Nannette (06:24):
he's gonna love hearing his name.
Brad (06:25):
Yeah.
Chris
Christine (06:26):
Oh, of course.
Brad (06:27):
We love him.
Christine (06:28):
Yeah, Yeah.
So I came into work and there'sthe figurine on my desk.
And
Brad (06:33):
Did I buy it?
Maybe I did.
I don't remember.
I just remember you had a, hadthe action figure.
Christine (06:38):
Yeah.
It
Brad (06:39):
It wasn't a doll.
It's an action
Christine (06:40):
an action.
Okay.
I don't even know what happenedto that.
Brad (06:43):
Waldron probably has it.
We'll have to, okay, um,Waldron, if you have T and Com,
um, please reach out.
Let us know.
Christine (06:51):
Yeah.
Brad (06:52):
Christine misses him.
Christine (06:54):
I was the butt of most jokes, but I, I loved it.
I did love it because everyone,I would walk in in the morning
all bubbly again, though what Ilearned that about myself at
that time, I was funny.
I made everyone else laugh, butI would go home and cry
Brad (07:12):
Oh.
Christine (07:13):
pretty much every day.
It was like.
I lived to make others happy andlaugh and joke all the time, but
I was hiding a lot.
Hence the shit behind the show.
You know, there, you put on thisbig show and this mask, like
everything's great.
Look at me.
I'm living this great life.
People post tons of pictures onsocial media.
Like, Oh, look at me having fun.
(07:34):
Look at me with my kids.
And really behind all of that,they are dying inside.
Brad (07:38):
inside.
Christine (07:40):
And that was, yeah.
And that was me.
Yeah.
And, I don't know if you knowthis part Nan, we could go on
for hours here by the way.
It's
Brad (07:48):
It's okay, I'm gonna make this
Christine (07:50):
show.
I know.
I was just going to say that.
Uh, so I was going through themessiest divorce.
My baby daddy turned my kidsagainst me
Nannette (08:01):
Whoa.
Christine (08:02):
went months without seeing them.
That hands down is the hardestthing I've been through in my
life.
Nannette (08:08):
That is heartbreaking for a mom.
Christine (08:10):
it was so heartbreaking.
And this guy, I, I came intowork one day and I'll try to
keep myself composed.
Um, I didn't cry for a year.
Nannette (08:22):
yeah, hinder those.
Christine (08:23):
And thank you.
And I walked into work one dayand he happened for some reason
was sitting by the door.
I don't even know why, becausethat wasn't because our offices
were upstairs and he was sittingdown on the main level and I was
running a little late and Iwalked in and he's like, Tanner,
what's wrong?
(08:44):
And I just started sobbing.
And I said, Brad, I couldn'tfind the pills.
Like, I had been that morningsearching for a bottle of pills
to end it, and I couldn't findhim.
And he's like, listen, you'regoing to therapy fucking now.
And I sobbed and sobbed.
And I said, this is the firsttime I've cried in a year.
(09:06):
And he's like, let it out.
Ugly cry.
He always made fun of my uglycrying too.
Um, so he called my boss got meexcused.
I got into therapy that day.
I don't know what would havehappened had he not intervened
and it was like he just knew assoon as I walked in the door, he
just looked at me and he's like,what the hell?
(09:26):
You know what's wrong?
And, and yeah, I, I've told himbefore you saved my life.
He's like, I And I'm like, Idon't know.
I don't know what I would havedone.
I may have just gone into work,gone about my day and found
another way.
I don't know.
Um, a week later, a week afterI'd gone through some therapy, I
went home, opened my closet.
The pills were right where I hadbeen searching for them and
(09:49):
could not find them.
They were right there, justright in front.
So I was like, I was notsupposed to do that.
I'm supposed to be here, but itwas so heartbreaking in those
moments.
And so before court, You know, Iwould be going into court and I
would go to him and just sob,like a big brother, right?
It was, and he would just tellme, do your ugly cry thing.
(10:11):
And, and I, I was so grateful.
I am still for that friendshipbecause it felt so lonely and so
tough, so hard at that time to,to deal with that, you know, not
seeing your children.
That is one of the mosttraumatic
Brad (10:28):
experiences That would be horrible.
Christine (10:30):
Yeah,
Nannette (10:30):
Yeah, definitely.
I can't even imagine
Christine (10:33):
for me and my boys from going from a stay at home
mom being involved in everythingto not seeing them and then he
would turn their phones off,like completely shut them off.
So I could not speak to them.
I was threatened if I came tothe house that they had a
restraining or try to get arestraining order, but he would
call the police and have meremoved from the premises like
(10:55):
he was just dirty with it.
Now I have the most amazingrelationship with my boys.
They all see it.
We're all sad about it becausewe missed out on so much, but I
have the better relationship.
You know, it turned out better.
Nannette (11:10):
the better mom now because you've done a lot of
work on yourself so you can bemore healthy with them.
I'm so glad that you had Bradand you know, he, he's super
gifted in so, so, so many ways.
His intuition, it is on themoney.
It always has been, um, always,um, It.
(11:30):
I can't even tell you how manytimes he'll be like, I just had
a dream about so and so.
I need to call them, or I justhave this feeling about so and
so I need to go have aconversation with them or like,
he's always on alert for thingsthat are going on and, um, I
completely, I'm so glad that hewas there for you and I'm so
(11:50):
glad that you had him as yourbig brother and you deserve a
Brad.
You need, you deserve a brad forChristine.
Brad (11:57):
Well, the world is a better place with you in
Nannette (11:59):
Absolutely.
Christine (12:01):
you.
Yeah, it was, it was a really,you know, it was a really hard
time.
And every time I get back up, hewas kicking me back down the X,
you know, and it was like, I'vebeen going through a lot lately,
but that hands down was thehardest time of my life.
It was, it was terrible.
So, so yeah, I'm very gratefulthat we had that friendship and
(12:22):
I was so happy for him.
Again, he was like, he wouldjust walk in all googly eyed and
I'm like, like, whatever.
I'm just over here being a shitshow.
Nannette (12:32):
I don't, I don't know.
He married a shisho, so I just,I was just telling him last
night here, I had a really hardSorry.
I was just telling him lastnight and you, you saw my post
on, on Facebook.
I can't believe I get to bemarried to you.
I can't believe that you'rehere.
(12:53):
And I just told him how gratefulI was for him last night because
a normal guy would have ran awaya whole long time ago because.
I'm not good certain times ofthe year and you can't see it
come in like all of a suddenit's this festering sore that I
(13:13):
just lose my shit and he is theone that has to pull me together
or hold space for me and he ishas always been willing to sit
in my shit with me.
And just hold that space and healways asked me what can I do
and I don't know what he can doother than just let me know that
I'm
Christine (13:33):
you
Nannette (13:34):
to be able to go through whatever I'm going
through.
So, um, remember how I was justtalking to you about the, the
traumas and how one trigger willmake them all come down.
I learned that from my awesomecounselor, Justin, who we've had
on the show.
And um, I, I went to him.
Yesterday.
Yeah, yesterday.
So a couple days ago, um,somebody, um, had posted
(13:58):
actually I'll, I'll back up tolast June.
Some, some stranger had reachedout on messenger who were not
friends.
Okay.
And you know how when, whensomeone's not a friend on
messenger, it's like backbehind, you know, friend
requests or whatever, and youhardly ever see them.
Christine (14:11):
Yeah.
Nannette (14:12):
Well, he had said, I'm writing a book about Corey and
I'd really like you to beinvolved.
He didn't ask if I wanted him towrite the book, didn't know who
he was.
And he's like, it's a true crimeand, and this is what I'm going
to do.
And I felt very violated.
And it sent me kind of circlingthe drain back last June.
(14:33):
And so I just never answered himbecause I was like, he's a nut
job, like whatever, not going toaddress this.
Well, a couple of days ago, hegot it on.
I'm not going to go into detailsbecause people can actually
track this shit down.
But, um, he had said he, he hadbeen asking for stories about
Corey to add to this book.
(14:55):
And then he went through andthanked like all of these people
that had helped him pull thingstogether.
And he had actually, grandmarequested all of the police
reports.
All of the court records, had myhusband's personnel file, um,
all the way down to the placeshe worked and like everything,
all of this personalinformation.
(15:17):
And, He was asking for all thisstuff, but these people that he
listed, I felt betrayed becausethey never said anything to me,
number one.
So I felt betrayed by thembecause I thought that they
should protect our family.
Because here, I might have adash cam video of my husband's
murder.
Out there somewhere that myChildren might see and I still
(15:39):
don't do not know that it's notout there.
I have the sheriff's departmentlooking into that with the
county attorneys and all that tosee if they actually did release
that because that's beensomething that I have said.
Absolutely no.
Christine (15:50):
Yeah.
Nannette (15:51):
During the murder trial, I had some of my kids
that wanted to see the dash camvideo and you can actually hear
my husband take his last breathsand you can hear the shots so
you can hear all of the thingsthat happened.
So, um, but there are some of mychildren and my grandchildren
that did not want to see that.
And it is.
Um, I think that that should bea protected space and it should
(16:12):
not be something that's everpublic.
And if anybody gets a hold ofthat, it should be our family
when we're damn good and ready.
And so I had all of thesethings, but I literally felt
like I did the week that ithappened.
I felt panicky, like I'm on thismerry go round going so fast
that it can't stop.
(16:32):
I couldn't breathe.
I couldn't cope.
I just wanted to run.
And Brad's like, He's seen me dothis before, but not for a
really long time.
I mean, I'm coming up on 11years.
So I was like, I don'tunderstand why I'm reacting this
way, why this is such a trigger,why I'm feeling so violated, why
(16:53):
I'm feeling so betrayed.
And.
Why this is all happening.
I need to understand this.
I literally curled up on thecouch in there and I did not
move the whole day.
He brought me in half of hisannex and I don't like to take
stuff.
He's like, take this.
And he's like, you need this.
And I'm like, no.
And he kind of fought with me alittle bit.
He's like, no, take this so thatyou can at least get calm enough
(17:14):
to deal with this.
I was like, okay.
So I took it and I literallyjust sobbed.
The whole day, like I couldn'tcope and I'm sitting in my shit
going like, why am I acting likethis?
I've done so much healing, doneso much work and he, he kept
coming in.
What can I do?
What can I do?
And I'm like, I don't know.
And then I looked at him and Isaid, I need you to make him
(17:35):
stop.
I need you to find out who heis.
I need you, like I gave him alist and he went and did it.
He went and.
I read everything, told me whothis person was and that he was
a fruit cup and like all thesedifferent things and, and put my
soul at ease by the eveningtime.
But he was just like, just tellme what to do and I'll do it.
Like literally if I told himthat I wanted him to go fuck the
(17:58):
guy up, I think he probablywould have at this point, like
he would do anything for me.
And I, I know that, but Iliterally, I didn't.
I didn't, here I am this healerand I help all these people and
I've done my work.
I have done my, my work, butthat's why I went to Justin
yesterday because I'm like, mycounseling appointments aren't,
you go in and you dump.
It's Justin.
(18:19):
I need tools.
This is what happened.
Tell me the tools.
Why the fuck did I do this?
Why is this?
What's the mechanism so I canfix it?
Because I overanalyzeeverything.
Christine (18:29):
the same thing with mine, so
Nannette (18:31):
Yeah.
So you totally get it.
Right?
Well, the funny thing is, isJustin's trying to understand
everything and I have not toldhim everything.
He doesn't know everything.
He knows my husband was killed.
He knows the basics.
He's been on our show.
He's talked to us, but he doesnot know all of my trauma.
And so he, he starts asking mequestions and then.
All of the traumas start comingout.
(18:52):
Like right after my husband'skilled, some of the officers
actually did very inappropriatesexual things towards me.
Here I am this victim and I haveofficers doing things towards
me, but no one did anythingabout that.
And then they kind of groupedtogether and spread rumors about
me that I slept with the wholedepartment and it's still coming
(19:13):
back to me by new people that goto the department.
Oh yeah, we've heard you sleptwith most of the department,
which I wish my life were That
Christine (19:20):
was.
Brad (19:21):
That would be a good movie.
Nannette (19:22):
asked Brad a whole bunch for like three and a half
years, but he was, he was itlike whatever.
But, um, I, I just felt soviolated and betrayed.
So I'm telling Justin all thisstuff and he's like, I had no
idea.
Like, he's like, you have layerupon layer upon layer, like
trauma, trauma, trauma, trauma,trauma, trauma, trauma, trauma,
trauma, trauma, trauma.
(19:42):
And then this insignificantfruit cup over here flicks the
switch and all the trauma falls.
On your shoulders and that'swhat you're dealing with.
And it made sense.
I was like, that's why I feellike I'm drowning because I am
like literally rape energy andbetrayal energy and abuse energy
and like all of this stuff justwent, boom, all at once and it's
(20:06):
not from lack of me.
doing my work.
It's because I haven't severedthe traumas from each other.
They're still connected.
So it's like, it's kind of likea, like your hormones, you know,
if one goes down, they all godown type of thing.
Brad (20:20):
You know how you make a hormone, right?
Christine (20:22):
ha ha.
Ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha.
Brad (20:24):
pair.
Christine (20:24):
ha ha.
Ha ha ha.
Ha
Nannette (20:27):
And he's a pro.
Yeah.
Just the tip, Brad.
But he's had to hold space forme.
That is very ugly.
Um, very, very ugly.
And, and additionally with whereyou were at, I'm Don't take this
wrong, but I'm grateful that hehad that experience because he
had to do the same thing exceptfor he physically picked me up
and took me for help because Ihad a five way plan and I was
(20:50):
going to do And, he, he's aprotector, you know, and, um, He
just doesn't, he will doanything to make sure someone
feels safe.
And I think that that's why Ikept a hold of him because my
safe was And he also doesn'tborrow from my energy.
He lets me just be me and he ishim.
And, and that's a beautifulthing.
(21:11):
Cause we're both big energy and.
I don't, I don't have to beanyone or fake like I'm anybody.
But last night when I'm tellinghim, I'm like, I am so grateful
that you haven't run.
I'm so grateful that you'vestuck with me.
And thank you for taking care ofus and being the safe place.
And I'm just crying.
And I'm just like, sorry, I'm amess.
I freaking hate that I am.
(21:31):
And he goes, it comes with theterritory.
I'm like, he goes, I know what Imarried.
I'm just like.
What does that mean?
I know I married a widow, but
Christine (21:39):
I love it.
Nannette (21:40):
he, I'm pretty sure he has wings,
Christine (21:42):
Yeah.
Then I do.
Then you can find that quote.
Get on it!
Brad (21:47):
book.
Christine (21:48):
Teach a class! Right?
Nannette (21:50):
right?
Christine (21:50):
call a master
Brad (21:53):
a master class
Christine (21:54):
Yeah.
Brad (21:55):
Don't be a douche bag.
I don't know.
You wouldn't think
Christine (21:58):
You wouldn't think it'd be that hard, but You
Brad (22:00):
but.
You
Christine (22:03):
I knew it.
I knew it.
I can't.
Nannette (22:05):
You guys lost me at master.
Okay.
Brad (22:08):
shit.
Christine (22:08):
And welcome to my life.
Brad (22:10):
Yep.
And that's where we're at.
Christine (22:13):
Anyway.
we ready?
Brad (22:15):
thank you so much for being on the show and
collaborating with us.
This is awesome.
Christine (22:20):
Thank you to both of you.
It's been fun.
I wish we could do this everyweek.
Brad (22:25):
Right?
Nannette (22:26):
We should
Christine (22:27):
four
Nannette (22:27):
it.
We should do it more often.
Yeah, just like be a regular
Christine (22:31):
Yeah.
because we learned that we can'tdo it over Zoom.
Nannette (22:35):
No,
Brad (22:35):
the spirits mess with it, so.
Um,
Christine (22:38):
They're like, um, no, you guys need to be in the same
room.
Brad (22:40):
Exactly.
Have a cup of coffee togetherand just chill
Nannette (22:44):
to my her favorite thing.
Mom, just chill your tits, It's
Brad (22:52):
Nan starts getting a little intense and Kylie will
remind her, Nan, just chill yourtits.
It's okay.
Another
Christine (22:58):
Another t shirt
Brad (22:59):
Yeah.
Right.
That's a good one.
There's a lot of possibilitieswith that t shirt.
Nannette (23:04):
have two
Brad (23:06):
You have two little ice cubes right where the nips are.
Christine (23:08):
This guy.
Nannette (23:10):
That's because he has diamond cutters for tits.
Seriously, his nipples alwaysstick out.
Like, tune in Tokyo.
Brad (23:17):
Do you know what?
I don't think it's very kind tomake fun of people's physical
Christine (23:21):
Yes, you do.
Okay, thanks again.
Brad (23:27):
Yeah.
Thank you.
Hey, everyone out there, pleasemake sure you tune in and listen
to the ship behind the showpodcast.
It's a great show.
You get to hear a lot more aboutChristine and her story, and
it's a ton of fun.
You can listen to it anywhereyou get your podcast, right?
Christine (23:42):
And also please tune into Mormon to medium.
You know, I listened to very fewpodcasts, but I love yours, but
I, I dislike Brad's voicebecause it's, it's so perfect.
Brad (23:53):
so perfect.
Oh
Nannette (23:55):
He has a broadcaster voice, right?
Not fair.
Christine (23:57):
Perfect for podcasting.
And I'm
Brad (23:59):
I'm jealous.
Wow.
This show has really boosted myego
Christine (24:04):
I think so.
Brad (24:05):
I, I really appreciate the two of you.
Thank you so much for making mefeel very good.
Nannette (24:11):
You're welcome for stroking your
Brad (24:13):
your ego.
Christine (24:14):
And until next time.
Brad (24:17):
Yep.
Thank you so much.
We'll see you.
Bye.
Nannette (24:20):
see
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