March 18, 2025 • 16 mins
In this episode, we dive deep into the hilarious world of secondhand embarrassment — the moments when you feel for someone else so deeply that it makes you want to disappear. From awkward church performances to cringe-worthy situations at work, we discuss how we react when others make embarrassing mistakes.
Join us as we reminisce about the most memorable internet moments that made us laugh and cringe, including a pastor's unintentional slip of the tongue and our boss's embarrassing mishap at the office. Plus, we share hilarious stories of awkward encounters in public and the workplace, where the cringe is palpable.
Tune in for a good laugh, and remember, we’re all a little awkward sometimes!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
S1 (00:30):
Okay, so in German, it's French. German? You think I'm
making it up? What? Because you hate my German accent. French? German?
It's a German word that means vicarious embarrassment.
S2 (00:44):
Oh, okay.
S1 (00:46):
Listen to you too.
S3 (00:47):
Yes, I have that.
S1 (00:48):
I've. I've got some. I have a way to trigger
it for you right now.
S3 (00:53):
Oh, gosh. Okay. Please don't.
S1 (00:54):
Ron, take it away. He's working.
S3 (00:59):
He's trying. Is this something I did?
S4 (01:03):
You know he's doing it. God is doing a new thing.
You know, it's.
S3 (01:09):
Not as bad because he's a child.
S4 (01:11):
And he's doing a new thing.
S2 (01:12):
It's more funny than embarrassing.
S3 (01:15):
If this was an adult, it'd be more embarrassing.
S1 (01:18):
The kid's wearing, like.
S4 (01:19):
A brand new thing.
S3 (01:22):
It's hard to feel embarrassed because I absolutely did stuff
like this as a child, so.
S1 (01:25):
Really? So I picked the wrong one.
S3 (01:26):
Yes. It needs to be an adult doing something embarrassing.
S1 (01:29):
Okay, tell me about your favorite. I mean, because this
has become an internet thing where it's Christians from decades
ago doing things that makes you feel embarrassed for them.
S3 (01:38):
Oh my gosh.
S1 (01:39):
Do you have a favorite you could describe because everybody's
seen these?
S3 (01:42):
No, you could probably describe them. You watch them more
than me.
S1 (01:46):
Okay. Well, there's there's one where it's obviously a megachurch
and there's a dude in a suit with kind of
long hair and women in, like, 80s prom dresses, kind
of one on each side. And they're, they're singing like
a hip hop song. Oh, no. And and they're very white, like,
think me white.
S2 (02:06):
It's not quite hip hop. I wouldn't unless we're thinking
of different clips.
S1 (02:09):
No, I don't I don't know how to describe the music,
but like, he's doing the robot.
S2 (02:13):
Yeah, he does like a breakdance thing in the middle
of it, but.
S1 (02:16):
It's not.
S2 (02:16):
Good. It's not? No. He tries to do like a
it's a moonwalk, I think is what he does, which.
S1 (02:21):
I can do quite well, by.
S3 (02:22):
The way. Here we go. See, this is second anniversary.
S2 (02:24):
And they're doing this in church as part of the
worship service, I guess.
S1 (02:27):
And there's something about God's people. God bless us. We're
we're good.
S3 (02:33):
At. We're a little awkward.
S2 (02:34):
Everybody's a little awkward.
S1 (02:36):
We're a little awkward. I mean, I don't know, I
it's this thing that we tend to be behind the trends,
but we have this desperate need to be trendy. So
what we.
S2 (02:50):
Do.
S1 (02:50):
Is we pick up the trend too late and do
it poorly. You know what I'm talking about?
S3 (02:58):
I do. We're a little awkward. We as a collective
are awkward.
S1 (03:02):
Why is this a thing for us?
S3 (03:03):
I don't know, but it's fun.
S1 (03:05):
I mean, we are right now somewhere creating the cringey
Christian content for the internet in 20 years.
S3 (03:11):
Exactly.
S1 (03:12):
Probably are. So what is what is second hand embarrassment
look like for you guys? Vicarious embarrassment.
S3 (03:21):
Like if someone is in, you know, in front of
a meeting or something, and they just keep talking and
it's not quite there like what they're saying. They're not
quite on target or whatever. And do you just want to?
It's embarrassing for them. But it's so embarrassing that you
need to leave. Like I have to go. I feel
(03:42):
so embarrassed.
S1 (03:42):
Have you done that?
S3 (03:43):
I've not actually left, but I would like to leave
my body.
S2 (03:46):
Yes, I would like to hide under this table. I
need a lap around the building to get some of
this nervous energy out. And I have not done anything.
S1 (03:53):
I feel like both of you have like a I mean,
if it's a scale from 1 to 10, one being
you don't really have any secondhand embarrassment and ten being you.
You have it acutely.
S3 (04:03):
It's like a chronic disease.
S2 (04:04):
Yeah.
S3 (04:05):
Correct. Yeah. Yeah. If I watch a video, that's embarrassing.
I just have to turn it off because I feel embarrassed.
S1 (04:11):
I feel like once a day, either a station manager, Josh,
or I will do or say something where both of
you want an experience.
S3 (04:18):
An example. Do you guys remember we had someone here
working in the station doing stuff for us?
S2 (04:25):
Yes.
S3 (04:26):
And they weren't being very timely. And we were discussing
it in our staff meeting like, hey, this person is
not being very timely. When is this going to get done?
And our station manager was like talking about that and
that person walked in. The person that was doing stuff
and I wanted to just like shrivel up and never
exist again. I wanted to fall out of my chair.
S2 (04:48):
You turned like beet red, if I'm not mistaken. Oh
my gosh.
S3 (04:53):
And I because it was a problem. It was this
person was not being timely and it was just kind
of dragging on. And so we were discussing that as
a team. And this person walked in and I just
wanted to like, go somewhere. I wish I could have
teleported somewhere else immediately.
S1 (05:09):
Our our station manager, Josh and I also have this
thing that we do where we'll trip into something that's embarrassing,
that you two go to level 75 and your second
hand embarrassment, and we notice it, and then we lean
into it. We're like, oh, this is fun. Look at them.
They're embarrassed. Twist! Yeah.
S3 (05:28):
Yes.
S1 (05:29):
It's one of my I. It's a gift.
S3 (05:31):
Yeah. Basically, like, anytime I go out into public with
you and there's any stranger that we're interacting with, it's embarrassing. Yes.
So you are embarrassing.
S1 (05:39):
You had secondhand embarrassment at Fox eight?
S3 (05:41):
Yes, absolutely. Really? Listen, every interaction with every single person there.
S1 (05:45):
No.
S3 (05:47):
Yes. When we were leaving, you went to the bathroom
and I left. We have different cars for going different places. Yeah.
So I just left the building. I was like, okay, bye.
You're going to the bathroom?
S1 (05:57):
No. I said something like, hold on a second, I'll
be right back.
S3 (06:00):
Would you like to know what you actually said?
S5 (06:02):
What did I say?
S1 (06:03):
You said I need a pit stop before I head home.
S3 (06:06):
You said. And here we go. Got to stop before
the hour drive home. So. And then just went to
the bathroom.
S5 (06:12):
Yeah.
S3 (06:12):
I was like, okay, bye. And I just left.
S1 (06:14):
Well, what, that.
S5 (06:15):
A single.
S3 (06:16):
Person bathroom?
S1 (06:16):
Wait for me. We parked in the back of the lot.
That's what.
S5 (06:20):
That meant.
S3 (06:20):
So I left. I'm halfway through the parking lot and
I hear someone shouting at me, and I turn around
and it's you shouting at me in the parking lot
because I didn't wait for you in the bathroom.
S1 (06:29):
So you were second hand embarrassed for me?
S3 (06:31):
Yes.
S1 (06:32):
Nobody could.
S5 (06:32):
Hear us. Second hand embarrassed.
S3 (06:33):
Number one, that you would like me to wait for
you in the bathroom. And second hand embarrassment also because
you're shouting at me in a parking lot.
S6 (06:41):
Or would that be first hand embarrassment?
S5 (06:42):
Yeah. It's embarrassment.
S1 (06:44):
I feel like Ron makes you. Both of you. Second
hand embarrassed sometimes.
S2 (06:48):
Yeah.
S3 (06:48):
Yeah.
S5 (06:50):
Yeah.
S1 (06:50):
Do you have a favorite Ron secondhand embarrassment story?
S6 (06:53):
Yeah. I was wondering about the Fox eight thing.
S2 (06:55):
They all they all happen on air, and I'd rather not.
S5 (06:57):
Say them.
S2 (06:58):
Again. I can't say I'm at Ron. Can say.
S5 (07:00):
Them again.
S3 (07:01):
There was two last week that I have been ruminating on.
S5 (07:05):
That.
S3 (07:05):
I can't say again.
S6 (07:06):
Wow.
S5 (07:08):
See.
S6 (07:09):
I don't even know I have that power.
S5 (07:11):
This is how.
S2 (07:11):
Secondhand embarrassment is. You don't know.
S1 (07:14):
You're embarrassed for someone else who did something that they
don't know is embarrassing.
S3 (07:18):
That's right. Exactly.
S1 (07:19):
Some of what I feel like some of Ron in
the green room when we were all together at Fox
eight a number of months ago.
S3 (07:25):
The symphonic.
S5 (07:26):
Yeah. Yes. Therapy or whatever.
S2 (07:27):
That was funny. And that was endearing. I enjoyed that one, actually.
S1 (07:30):
Okay, so we're learning there's a fine line between second
hand embarrassment and funny and endearing.
S3 (07:37):
I think because of how the people responded back to
Ron's comments made it funny and endearing, because they knew
that their font on their clothes was a little weird.
The font on these people's clothes did not. It was
not legible.
S1 (07:49):
And it was the what was it again? The lymphatic society.
S5 (07:51):
Yeah.
S3 (07:51):
Lymphatic society, lymphatic therapy.
S5 (07:53):
Therapy therapy, lymphatic therapy.
S3 (07:55):
And Ron went over and said, oh, were you with
the Symphonic Society? But because it was like, well, their
font is kind of bad. So that's not on Ron.
But if Ron were just to go over there and
it was like obvious, it was in like, you know,
Ariel font that it was obvious, then that would be
a second embarrassment.
S5 (08:12):
Okay.
S1 (08:12):
So he's just I like this idea that I could
accidentally be endearing.
S5 (08:18):
Not you.
S3 (08:18):
We were talking about.
S2 (08:19):
Ron, just.
S5 (08:19):
Ron.
S1 (08:20):
Oh, so I.
S5 (08:20):
Don't ever trip into.
S2 (08:21):
Only.
S5 (08:22):
Ron. There's no fine line. Sorry, Brian.
S3 (08:27):
No, not.
S5 (08:27):
You.
S3 (08:28):
Just Ron.
S1 (08:28):
But here's with all this great warm up in just
a minute here. Somebody at relevant magazine thinks secondhand embarrassment
could be a spiritual gift.
S2 (08:37):
Lauren's very gifted.
S5 (08:38):
Then you and Daria. Lauren could be very.
S1 (08:41):
Gifted for the church. Lauren and Daria on our team
here on mornings with Brian. Both have a significant dose
of from shaman.
S6 (08:50):
From shaman.
S2 (08:51):
Gesundheit.
S1 (08:52):
Which is vicarious embarrassment.
S3 (08:55):
I am also embarrassed for myself a lot of time.
S1 (08:58):
Yeah, but I feel like more acutely you get you
get more embarrassed when other people do embarrassing things.
S3 (09:03):
Yes. That's because I try not to embarrass myself.
S1 (09:07):
And some of us, like our station manager, Josh and
me and Ron, we're getting to it. I'm not old enough, apparently,
according to Nick, to be endearing yet, which is probably true.
Like you stop caring about what other people.
S6 (09:21):
Think.
S1 (09:22):
Right?
S6 (09:22):
And so there is some of that.
S1 (09:23):
You just kind of do whatever comes to mind. And
our station manager, Scott.
S3 (09:28):
He's heading on a path.
S5 (09:29):
He's more embarrassing.
S1 (09:30):
Than me.
S5 (09:30):
Isn't he? He's.
S3 (09:31):
Yes, he's on a he's on a path.
S1 (09:32):
I mean, I'm pretty embarrassing, but.
S3 (09:34):
Yes, but he's worse. He's more physically embarrassing. Like he falls.
Why are you bringing this up?
S5 (09:43):
Why are you bringing this up? I can't.
S6 (09:45):
It was nice working with you two.
S5 (09:49):
You. I can't, you need.
S1 (09:51):
You need to tell the story again about him in
his office. This is second hand embarrassment. Yeah, it's your
favorite story.
S3 (09:55):
He has a standing desk in his office. It was raised.
He was sitting across the desk and just like some,
you know, loungy chairs. We were having an informal meeting,
and we're just chatting, and Bryan's in, like, the office
rolly chair. Okay. Yep. So no one's behind the desk.
Bryan's kind of near the desk, but not really.
S1 (10:13):
Plenty of room to walk past me and easily move
for someone who said, excuse me.
S3 (10:16):
That's exactly right. And our boss tries to get up.
He needs to go look at something on his computer
that's on his desk. And instead of walking around the
desk and past Brian, who was really not in the way,
he decides to try to crawl under the desk.
S1 (10:32):
Man in his mid to late 50s.
S5 (10:34):
Correct. And he's a tall person. He's very tall.
S1 (10:37):
Yeah, he's over six feet tall.
S3 (10:39):
And he decides to try to crawl under his desk.
S2 (10:42):
So that's.
S3 (10:42):
Embarrassing enough. Like, why are you doing that?
S5 (10:44):
Lauren's looking at me.
S3 (10:45):
Like we're at the office, like, don't do that. And also,
then he falls.
S5 (10:51):
Because.
S2 (10:51):
He's trying to.
S3 (10:52):
He's over six foot trying to crawl under desk.
S1 (10:55):
He fell while.
S5 (10:56):
Crawling, which.
S1 (10:57):
Is actually a.
S5 (10:57):
Challenge.
S2 (10:58):
And he was like a feet, actually. He was, like.
S3 (11:00):
Hunched over and then just kind of, like, plopped over,
kind of like a roly poly.
S5 (11:05):
Like.
S3 (11:05):
Hunched over.
S5 (11:06):
And.
S6 (11:07):
Oh, my.
S3 (11:08):
Like, why are you doing this?
S1 (11:09):
And I can see it in your face right now.
You're embarrassed.
S5 (11:11):
For him? Yes.
S2 (11:12):
And this happened, like, three weeks.
S5 (11:14):
Ago.
S3 (11:14):
Under your Desk.
S5 (11:17):
Look at you.
S3 (11:19):
Just walk around, Brian.
S1 (11:21):
And I know this is connecting with people because there's
other people who.
S5 (11:23):
Have this.
S1 (11:24):
Heavy dose.
S5 (11:24):
Like.
S1 (11:25):
Like you have.
S3 (11:26):
I have to, like, literally, like, leave spaces if.
S5 (11:29):
Something embarrassing is happening.
S1 (11:30):
And so you all found some embarrassing Christian embarrassing things
on the internet that make you feel embarrassed. You get
secondhand embarrassment. Ron, play your favorite one first. Well, just
pick one and play.
S7 (11:42):
Before we begin, let's pray. Let's pray. Heavenly father, heavenly father,
our hearts are made ready to hear with you. To
be stimulated, to love you more.
S6 (11:56):
Oh my goodness, heavenly farts.
S3 (11:59):
Oh my God.
S5 (12:00):
He didn't.
S1 (12:00):
Mean.
S5 (12:01):
To. I would just.
S3 (12:01):
Leave. I'd be like, never mind, I'm done.
S2 (12:03):
This is over. Go home. I never come back.
S5 (12:06):
He just kept going.
S3 (12:07):
I'm like, Amen.
S5 (12:08):
Gotta go. He kept going.
S6 (12:10):
And that's the right thing.
S2 (12:11):
In his position, man. I'd resign.
S5 (12:16):
I would be done.
S6 (12:17):
I can't imagine.
S5 (12:18):
Any out of there.
S6 (12:18):
Any young people in the audience there. Because if you're
a teenager, a teenage boy, and you heard the pastor.
S5 (12:26):
Say, or me done, done.
S6 (12:28):
You'd be cracking up.
S5 (12:30):
But. But you're.
S1 (12:31):
Laughing because you're embarrassed for.
S5 (12:32):
Him? Yes.
S3 (12:33):
Because I imagine if that were me and I was
up there praying for our entire church, and I said,
Heavenly Father, I would walk away. I'm like, you know what?
I gotta switch.
S5 (12:43):
Churches. Actually doing it.
S3 (12:45):
I gotta find a new church.
S5 (12:46):
This is.
S3 (12:47):
It's been nice knowing you guys.
S1 (12:49):
All right, Eddie, you got another one for us, I guess.
S6 (12:52):
Yeah. Um, here we go.
S8 (12:56):
Their top choice. So therefore, we're going to finish off
with this one. It's called looking for a city.
S1 (13:03):
There's somebody in a church service.
S6 (13:04):
Yeah.
S9 (13:07):
Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum BA da
da da da da da da da. I didn't know
you were going to start out with it.
S3 (13:14):
Oh, no.
S8 (13:16):
Looking for.
S9 (13:17):
A city.
S8 (13:17):
Built above.
S9 (13:19):
Love. My city will never die.
S10 (13:25):
Oh, no.
S9 (13:30):
Never say goodbye.
S11 (13:33):
Oh, no. Okay.
S10 (13:35):
We can be done now.
S5 (13:37):
Oh, no.
S6 (13:38):
This is a man, at least in his 30s. It's
not a kid.
S3 (13:43):
I now envision myself. That happens to me, and I
gotta go. I'm switching churches. I'm never speaking to them again.
I just.
S1 (13:51):
Poor guy. He couldn't find out where to start in
the song.
S5 (13:53):
He didn't know you were gonna start.
S2 (13:57):
Why are you up here?
S3 (13:59):
I can't.
S5 (13:59):
Secondhand embarrassment.
S1 (14:01):
Is a.
S5 (14:01):
Thing.
S3 (14:01):
It is a thing.
S1 (14:02):
And so relevant magazine. Lauren thinks that you in particular.
And Daria, who experienced this. You can be a resource
for the church.
S3 (14:11):
Oh.
S1 (14:13):
Great people who feel that discomfort most acutely, says Relevant Magazine.
The ones who instinctively recognize when something is inauthentic, forced
or performative or just embarrassing might just be the ones
positioned to help the church do better.
S5 (14:31):
I don't think so.
S1 (14:32):
Like you need someone to be your director of secondhand
embarrassment in the church to, like, preview the service. Go.
S5 (14:39):
No.
S3 (14:39):
That's embarrassing.
S5 (14:40):
Don't do that. No, don't do that. That's embarrassing. Don't
say that.
S6 (14:44):
You do that on the show already.
S2 (14:47):
Like you're perfect for. I do.
S5 (14:48):
It.
S3 (14:48):
For Ryan. That's embarrassing. Don't do that.
S1 (14:50):
Oh, I feel like you tell me that every day.
S5 (14:53):
Yeah.
S3 (14:54):
Correct.
S1 (14:55):
Sandy's looking for more stories.
S3 (14:57):
Well, our station manager also did.
S5 (15:00):
Fall.
S3 (15:01):
Backwards in a chair in public, in a restaurant.
S1 (15:04):
But it was it was a.
S5 (15:05):
High top table.
S2 (15:06):
To a bush.
S5 (15:06):
Right.
S1 (15:07):
So it was a stool. It wasn't a.
S5 (15:08):
Chair, it.
S3 (15:08):
Was a stool. And he.
S1 (15:10):
You were in a foreign country?
S3 (15:12):
Yeah, we were with, like 20 of our colleagues. And
he just fell backwards into a planter onto the sidewalk.
S5 (15:21):
He's okay.
S3 (15:22):
Yeah, he was fine. It was like a slow motion fall.
S1 (15:24):
And you.
S5 (15:24):
Were. So his.
S3 (15:25):
Arms were trying to catch.
S5 (15:25):
Himself.
S1 (15:26):
And you were so embarrassed for him?
S3 (15:27):
Yeah. Oh my gosh.
S1 (15:31):
Who knew you had discernment helps.
S3 (15:35):
I'm not sure about that.
S1 (15:37):
Secondhand embarrassment.
S6 (15:38):
Do you guys ever feel empathy for the person? Like,
if it's a friend of yours who's struggling up on stage,
maybe forgot the lyrics to the second verse of the
song or something? Yeah. And you're projecting, trying to help them.
S3 (15:51):
I think it's the empathy is so deep. You feel embarrassed.
You're like, oh my gosh, no, please.
S2 (15:55):
Like that one singer. Like, I feel bad for him
because no one in his life has told him, you
need vocal lessons. Yes. And someone let him do that.
S3 (16:02):
This is not what you should be doing.
S1 (16:05):
Yes.
S5 (16:05):
Saying like.
S1 (16:06):
Oh, I didn't know you were starting there. Oh, no.
It's so embarrassing.
Okay, so in German, it's French. German? You think I'm
making it up? What? Because you hate my German accent. French? German?
It's a German word that means vicarious embarrassment.
S2 (00:44):
Oh, okay.
S1 (00:46):
Listen to you too.
S3 (00:47):
Yes, I have that.
S1 (00:48):
I've. I've got some. I have a way to trigger
it for you right now.
S3 (00:53):
Oh, gosh. Okay. Please don't.
S1 (00:54):
Ron, take it away. He's working.
S3 (00:59):
He's trying. Is this something I did?
S4 (01:03):
You know he's doing it. God is doing a new thing.
You know, it's.
S3 (01:09):
Not as bad because he's a child.
S4 (01:11):
And he's doing a new thing.
S2 (01:12):
It's more funny than embarrassing.
S3 (01:15):
If this was an adult, it'd be more embarrassing.
S1 (01:18):
The kid's wearing, like.
S4 (01:19):
A brand new thing.
S3 (01:22):
It's hard to feel embarrassed because I absolutely did stuff
like this as a child, so.
S1 (01:25):
Really? So I picked the wrong one.
S3 (01:26):
Yes. It needs to be an adult doing something embarrassing.
S1 (01:29):
Okay, tell me about your favorite. I mean, because this
has become an internet thing where it's Christians from decades
ago doing things that makes you feel embarrassed for them.
S3 (01:38):
Oh my gosh.
S1 (01:39):
Do you have a favorite you could describe because everybody's
seen these?
S3 (01:42):
No, you could probably describe them. You watch them more
than me.
S1 (01:46):
Okay. Well, there's there's one where it's obviously a megachurch
and there's a dude in a suit with kind of
long hair and women in, like, 80s prom dresses, kind
of one on each side. And they're, they're singing like
a hip hop song. Oh, no. And and they're very white, like,
think me white.
S2 (02:06):
It's not quite hip hop. I wouldn't unless we're thinking
of different clips.
S1 (02:09):
No, I don't I don't know how to describe the music,
but like, he's doing the robot.
S2 (02:13):
Yeah, he does like a breakdance thing in the middle
of it, but.
S1 (02:16):
It's not.
S2 (02:16):
Good. It's not? No. He tries to do like a
it's a moonwalk, I think is what he does, which.
S1 (02:21):
I can do quite well, by.
S3 (02:22):
The way. Here we go. See, this is second anniversary.
S2 (02:24):
And they're doing this in church as part of the
worship service, I guess.
S1 (02:27):
And there's something about God's people. God bless us. We're
we're good.
S3 (02:33):
At. We're a little awkward.
S2 (02:34):
Everybody's a little awkward.
S1 (02:36):
We're a little awkward. I mean, I don't know, I
it's this thing that we tend to be behind the trends,
but we have this desperate need to be trendy. So
what we.
S2 (02:50):
Do.
S1 (02:50):
Is we pick up the trend too late and do
it poorly. You know what I'm talking about?
S3 (02:58):
I do. We're a little awkward. We as a collective
are awkward.
S1 (03:02):
Why is this a thing for us?
S3 (03:03):
I don't know, but it's fun.
S1 (03:05):
I mean, we are right now somewhere creating the cringey
Christian content for the internet in 20 years.
S3 (03:11):
Exactly.
S1 (03:12):
Probably are. So what is what is second hand embarrassment
look like for you guys? Vicarious embarrassment.
S3 (03:21):
Like if someone is in, you know, in front of
a meeting or something, and they just keep talking and
it's not quite there like what they're saying. They're not
quite on target or whatever. And do you just want to?
It's embarrassing for them. But it's so embarrassing that you
need to leave. Like I have to go. I feel
(03:42):
so embarrassed.
S1 (03:42):
Have you done that?
S3 (03:43):
I've not actually left, but I would like to leave
my body.
S2 (03:46):
Yes, I would like to hide under this table. I
need a lap around the building to get some of
this nervous energy out. And I have not done anything.
S1 (03:53):
I feel like both of you have like a I mean,
if it's a scale from 1 to 10, one being
you don't really have any secondhand embarrassment and ten being you.
You have it acutely.
S3 (04:03):
It's like a chronic disease.
S2 (04:04):
Yeah.
S3 (04:05):
Correct. Yeah. Yeah. If I watch a video, that's embarrassing.
I just have to turn it off because I feel embarrassed.
S1 (04:11):
I feel like once a day, either a station manager, Josh,
or I will do or say something where both of
you want an experience.
S3 (04:18):
An example. Do you guys remember we had someone here
working in the station doing stuff for us?
S2 (04:25):
Yes.
S3 (04:26):
And they weren't being very timely. And we were discussing
it in our staff meeting like, hey, this person is
not being very timely. When is this going to get done?
And our station manager was like talking about that and
that person walked in. The person that was doing stuff
and I wanted to just like shrivel up and never
exist again. I wanted to fall out of my chair.
S2 (04:48):
You turned like beet red, if I'm not mistaken. Oh
my gosh.
S3 (04:53):
And I because it was a problem. It was this
person was not being timely and it was just kind
of dragging on. And so we were discussing that as
a team. And this person walked in and I just
wanted to like, go somewhere. I wish I could have
teleported somewhere else immediately.
S1 (05:09):
Our our station manager, Josh and I also have this
thing that we do where we'll trip into something that's embarrassing,
that you two go to level 75 and your second
hand embarrassment, and we notice it, and then we lean
into it. We're like, oh, this is fun. Look at them.
They're embarrassed. Twist! Yeah.
S3 (05:28):
Yes.
S1 (05:29):
It's one of my I. It's a gift.
S3 (05:31):
Yeah. Basically, like, anytime I go out into public with
you and there's any stranger that we're interacting with, it's embarrassing. Yes.
So you are embarrassing.
S1 (05:39):
You had secondhand embarrassment at Fox eight?
S3 (05:41):
Yes, absolutely. Really? Listen, every interaction with every single person there.
S1 (05:45):
No.
S3 (05:47):
Yes. When we were leaving, you went to the bathroom
and I left. We have different cars for going different places. Yeah.
So I just left the building. I was like, okay, bye.
You're going to the bathroom?
S1 (05:57):
No. I said something like, hold on a second, I'll
be right back.
S3 (06:00):
Would you like to know what you actually said?
S5 (06:02):
What did I say?
S1 (06:03):
You said I need a pit stop before I head home.
S3 (06:06):
You said. And here we go. Got to stop before
the hour drive home. So. And then just went to
the bathroom.
S5 (06:12):
Yeah.
S3 (06:12):
I was like, okay, bye. And I just left.
S1 (06:14):
Well, what, that.
S5 (06:15):
A single.
S3 (06:16):
Person bathroom?
S1 (06:16):
Wait for me. We parked in the back of the lot.
That's what.
S5 (06:20):
That meant.
S3 (06:20):
So I left. I'm halfway through the parking lot and
I hear someone shouting at me, and I turn around
and it's you shouting at me in the parking lot
because I didn't wait for you in the bathroom.
S1 (06:29):
So you were second hand embarrassed for me?
S3 (06:31):
Yes.
S1 (06:32):
Nobody could.
S5 (06:32):
Hear us. Second hand embarrassed.
S3 (06:33):
Number one, that you would like me to wait for
you in the bathroom. And second hand embarrassment also because
you're shouting at me in a parking lot.
S6 (06:41):
Or would that be first hand embarrassment?
S5 (06:42):
Yeah. It's embarrassment.
S1 (06:44):
I feel like Ron makes you. Both of you. Second
hand embarrassed sometimes.
S2 (06:48):
Yeah.
S3 (06:48):
Yeah.
S5 (06:50):
Yeah.
S1 (06:50):
Do you have a favorite Ron secondhand embarrassment story?
S6 (06:53):
Yeah. I was wondering about the Fox eight thing.
S2 (06:55):
They all they all happen on air, and I'd rather not.
S5 (06:57):
Say them.
S2 (06:58):
Again. I can't say I'm at Ron. Can say.
S5 (07:00):
Them again.
S3 (07:01):
There was two last week that I have been ruminating on.
S5 (07:05):
That.
S3 (07:05):
I can't say again.
S6 (07:06):
Wow.
S5 (07:08):
See.
S6 (07:09):
I don't even know I have that power.
S5 (07:11):
This is how.
S2 (07:11):
Secondhand embarrassment is. You don't know.
S1 (07:14):
You're embarrassed for someone else who did something that they
don't know is embarrassing.
S3 (07:18):
That's right. Exactly.
S1 (07:19):
Some of what I feel like some of Ron in
the green room when we were all together at Fox
eight a number of months ago.
S3 (07:25):
The symphonic.
S5 (07:26):
Yeah. Yes. Therapy or whatever.
S2 (07:27):
That was funny. And that was endearing. I enjoyed that one, actually.
S1 (07:30):
Okay, so we're learning there's a fine line between second
hand embarrassment and funny and endearing.
S3 (07:37):
I think because of how the people responded back to
Ron's comments made it funny and endearing, because they knew
that their font on their clothes was a little weird.
The font on these people's clothes did not. It was
not legible.
S1 (07:49):
And it was the what was it again? The lymphatic society.
S5 (07:51):
Yeah.
S3 (07:51):
Lymphatic society, lymphatic therapy.
S5 (07:53):
Therapy therapy, lymphatic therapy.
S3 (07:55):
And Ron went over and said, oh, were you with
the Symphonic Society? But because it was like, well, their
font is kind of bad. So that's not on Ron.
But if Ron were just to go over there and
it was like obvious, it was in like, you know,
Ariel font that it was obvious, then that would be
a second embarrassment.
S5 (08:12):
Okay.
S1 (08:12):
So he's just I like this idea that I could
accidentally be endearing.
S5 (08:18):
Not you.
S3 (08:18):
We were talking about.
S2 (08:19):
Ron, just.
S5 (08:19):
Ron.
S1 (08:20):
Oh, so I.
S5 (08:20):
Don't ever trip into.
S2 (08:21):
Only.
S5 (08:22):
Ron. There's no fine line. Sorry, Brian.
S3 (08:27):
No, not.
S5 (08:27):
You.
S3 (08:28):
Just Ron.
S1 (08:28):
But here's with all this great warm up in just
a minute here. Somebody at relevant magazine thinks secondhand embarrassment
could be a spiritual gift.
S2 (08:37):
Lauren's very gifted.
S5 (08:38):
Then you and Daria. Lauren could be very.
S1 (08:41):
Gifted for the church. Lauren and Daria on our team
here on mornings with Brian. Both have a significant dose
of from shaman.
S6 (08:50):
From shaman.
S2 (08:51):
Gesundheit.
S1 (08:52):
Which is vicarious embarrassment.
S3 (08:55):
I am also embarrassed for myself a lot of time.
S1 (08:58):
Yeah, but I feel like more acutely you get you
get more embarrassed when other people do embarrassing things.
S3 (09:03):
Yes. That's because I try not to embarrass myself.
S1 (09:07):
And some of us, like our station manager, Josh and
me and Ron, we're getting to it. I'm not old enough, apparently,
according to Nick, to be endearing yet, which is probably true.
Like you stop caring about what other people.
S6 (09:21):
Think.
S1 (09:22):
Right?
S6 (09:22):
And so there is some of that.
S1 (09:23):
You just kind of do whatever comes to mind. And
our station manager, Scott.
S3 (09:28):
He's heading on a path.
S5 (09:29):
He's more embarrassing.
S1 (09:30):
Than me.
S5 (09:30):
Isn't he? He's.
S3 (09:31):
Yes, he's on a he's on a path.
S1 (09:32):
I mean, I'm pretty embarrassing, but.
S3 (09:34):
Yes, but he's worse. He's more physically embarrassing. Like he falls.
Why are you bringing this up?
S5 (09:43):
Why are you bringing this up? I can't.
S6 (09:45):
It was nice working with you two.
S5 (09:49):
You. I can't, you need.
S1 (09:51):
You need to tell the story again about him in
his office. This is second hand embarrassment. Yeah, it's your
favorite story.
S3 (09:55):
He has a standing desk in his office. It was raised.
He was sitting across the desk and just like some,
you know, loungy chairs. We were having an informal meeting,
and we're just chatting, and Bryan's in, like, the office
rolly chair. Okay. Yep. So no one's behind the desk.
Bryan's kind of near the desk, but not really.
S1 (10:13):
Plenty of room to walk past me and easily move
for someone who said, excuse me.
S3 (10:16):
That's exactly right. And our boss tries to get up.
He needs to go look at something on his computer
that's on his desk. And instead of walking around the
desk and past Brian, who was really not in the way,
he decides to try to crawl under the desk.
S1 (10:32):
Man in his mid to late 50s.
S5 (10:34):
Correct. And he's a tall person. He's very tall.
S1 (10:37):
Yeah, he's over six feet tall.
S3 (10:39):
And he decides to try to crawl under his desk.
S2 (10:42):
So that's.
S3 (10:42):
Embarrassing enough. Like, why are you doing that?
S5 (10:44):
Lauren's looking at me.
S3 (10:45):
Like we're at the office, like, don't do that. And also,
then he falls.
S5 (10:51):
Because.
S2 (10:51):
He's trying to.
S3 (10:52):
He's over six foot trying to crawl under desk.
S1 (10:55):
He fell while.
S5 (10:56):
Crawling, which.
S1 (10:57):
Is actually a.
S5 (10:57):
Challenge.
S2 (10:58):
And he was like a feet, actually. He was, like.
S3 (11:00):
Hunched over and then just kind of, like, plopped over,
kind of like a roly poly.
S5 (11:05):
Like.
S3 (11:05):
Hunched over.
S5 (11:06):
And.
S6 (11:07):
Oh, my.
S3 (11:08):
Like, why are you doing this?
S1 (11:09):
And I can see it in your face right now.
You're embarrassed.
S5 (11:11):
For him? Yes.
S2 (11:12):
And this happened, like, three weeks.
S5 (11:14):
Ago.
S3 (11:14):
Under your Desk.
S5 (11:17):
Look at you.
S3 (11:19):
Just walk around, Brian.
S1 (11:21):
And I know this is connecting with people because there's
other people who.
S5 (11:23):
Have this.
S1 (11:24):
Heavy dose.
S5 (11:24):
Like.
S1 (11:25):
Like you have.
S3 (11:26):
I have to, like, literally, like, leave spaces if.
S5 (11:29):
Something embarrassing is happening.
S1 (11:30):
And so you all found some embarrassing Christian embarrassing things
on the internet that make you feel embarrassed. You get
secondhand embarrassment. Ron, play your favorite one first. Well, just
pick one and play.
S7 (11:42):
Before we begin, let's pray. Let's pray. Heavenly father, heavenly father,
our hearts are made ready to hear with you. To
be stimulated, to love you more.
S6 (11:56):
Oh my goodness, heavenly farts.
S3 (11:59):
Oh my God.
S5 (12:00):
He didn't.
S1 (12:00):
Mean.
S5 (12:01):
To. I would just.
S3 (12:01):
Leave. I'd be like, never mind, I'm done.
S2 (12:03):
This is over. Go home. I never come back.
S5 (12:06):
He just kept going.
S3 (12:07):
I'm like, Amen.
S5 (12:08):
Gotta go. He kept going.
S6 (12:10):
And that's the right thing.
S2 (12:11):
In his position, man. I'd resign.
S5 (12:16):
I would be done.
S6 (12:17):
I can't imagine.
S5 (12:18):
Any out of there.
S6 (12:18):
Any young people in the audience there. Because if you're
a teenager, a teenage boy, and you heard the pastor.
S5 (12:26):
Say, or me done, done.
S6 (12:28):
You'd be cracking up.
S5 (12:30):
But. But you're.
S1 (12:31):
Laughing because you're embarrassed for.
S5 (12:32):
Him? Yes.
S3 (12:33):
Because I imagine if that were me and I was
up there praying for our entire church, and I said,
Heavenly Father, I would walk away. I'm like, you know what?
I gotta switch.
S5 (12:43):
Churches. Actually doing it.
S3 (12:45):
I gotta find a new church.
S5 (12:46):
This is.
S3 (12:47):
It's been nice knowing you guys.
S1 (12:49):
All right, Eddie, you got another one for us, I guess.
S6 (12:52):
Yeah. Um, here we go.
S8 (12:56):
Their top choice. So therefore, we're going to finish off
with this one. It's called looking for a city.
S1 (13:03):
There's somebody in a church service.
S6 (13:04):
Yeah.
S9 (13:07):
Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum BA da
da da da da da da da. I didn't know
you were going to start out with it.
S3 (13:14):
Oh, no.
S8 (13:16):
Looking for.
S9 (13:17):
A city.
S8 (13:17):
Built above.
S9 (13:19):
Love. My city will never die.
S10 (13:25):
Oh, no.
S9 (13:30):
Never say goodbye.
S11 (13:33):
Oh, no. Okay.
S10 (13:35):
We can be done now.
S5 (13:37):
Oh, no.
S6 (13:38):
This is a man, at least in his 30s. It's
not a kid.
S3 (13:43):
I now envision myself. That happens to me, and I
gotta go. I'm switching churches. I'm never speaking to them again.
I just.
S1 (13:51):
Poor guy. He couldn't find out where to start in
the song.
S5 (13:53):
He didn't know you were gonna start.
S2 (13:57):
Why are you up here?
S3 (13:59):
I can't.
S5 (13:59):
Secondhand embarrassment.
S1 (14:01):
Is a.
S5 (14:01):
Thing.
S3 (14:01):
It is a thing.
S1 (14:02):
And so relevant magazine. Lauren thinks that you in particular.
And Daria, who experienced this. You can be a resource
for the church.
S3 (14:11):
Oh.
S1 (14:13):
Great people who feel that discomfort most acutely, says Relevant Magazine.
The ones who instinctively recognize when something is inauthentic, forced
or performative or just embarrassing might just be the ones
positioned to help the church do better.
S5 (14:31):
I don't think so.
S1 (14:32):
Like you need someone to be your director of secondhand
embarrassment in the church to, like, preview the service. Go.
S5 (14:39):
No.
S3 (14:39):
That's embarrassing.
S5 (14:40):
Don't do that. No, don't do that. That's embarrassing. Don't
say that.
S6 (14:44):
You do that on the show already.
S2 (14:47):
Like you're perfect for. I do.
S5 (14:48):
It.
S3 (14:48):
For Ryan. That's embarrassing. Don't do that.
S1 (14:50):
Oh, I feel like you tell me that every day.
S5 (14:53):
Yeah.
S3 (14:54):
Correct.
S1 (14:55):
Sandy's looking for more stories.
S3 (14:57):
Well, our station manager also did.
S5 (15:00):
Fall.
S3 (15:01):
Backwards in a chair in public, in a restaurant.
S1 (15:04):
But it was it was a.
S5 (15:05):
High top table.
S2 (15:06):
To a bush.
S5 (15:06):
Right.
S1 (15:07):
So it was a stool. It wasn't a.
S5 (15:08):
Chair, it.
S3 (15:08):
Was a stool. And he.
S1 (15:10):
You were in a foreign country?
S3 (15:12):
Yeah, we were with, like 20 of our colleagues. And
he just fell backwards into a planter onto the sidewalk.
S5 (15:21):
He's okay.
S3 (15:22):
Yeah, he was fine. It was like a slow motion fall.
S1 (15:24):
And you.
S5 (15:24):
Were. So his.
S3 (15:25):
Arms were trying to catch.
S5 (15:25):
Himself.
S1 (15:26):
And you were so embarrassed for him?
S3 (15:27):
Yeah. Oh my gosh.
S1 (15:31):
Who knew you had discernment helps.
S3 (15:35):
I'm not sure about that.
S1 (15:37):
Secondhand embarrassment.
S6 (15:38):
Do you guys ever feel empathy for the person? Like,
if it's a friend of yours who's struggling up on stage,
maybe forgot the lyrics to the second verse of the
song or something? Yeah. And you're projecting, trying to help them.
S3 (15:51):
I think it's the empathy is so deep. You feel embarrassed.
You're like, oh my gosh, no, please.
S2 (15:55):
Like that one singer. Like, I feel bad for him
because no one in his life has told him, you
need vocal lessons. Yes. And someone let him do that.
S3 (16:02):
This is not what you should be doing.
S1 (16:05):
Yes.
S5 (16:05):
Saying like.
S1 (16:06):
Oh, I didn't know you were starting there. Oh, no.
It's so embarrassing.
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