May 12, 2025 • 15 mins
Life is hard. Parenting is too. And sometimes the way we react during those difficult times is with anger. Monday on Mornings with Eric and Brigitte, Author Amer Lia will share encouragement for every mom longing for freedom from anger and the self-condemnation that often accompanies it.
Untriggered: 60 Days of Transformatoin for Moms Who Struggle with Anger
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Episode Transcript
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S1 (00:06):
All right, guess we have to go here. You're listening
to mornings with Eric and Bridget here on Moody Radio 89.3.
S2 (00:13):
Well, you know, there's the dream of a thing, an event,
a relationship. And then there's the reality when you're in it.
And then we find that at times people, places, things
can really trigger us. Eric, I know we've been working
through we've been working through a place that triggers you
all morning, that drive through window.
S1 (00:33):
I just also want to make mention that I'm the
only one that's been vulnerable here this morning.
S2 (00:37):
But I talked about driving, triggering me. I mean, listen.
S1 (00:41):
That triggers all.
S2 (00:41):
Of us on 95 and especially down south.
S1 (00:44):
No, but okay, so I did mention that the I,
I thought I was the only one. Thankfully, I found
out I'm not the only one, but going through the
drive through with a family and everybody yelling their order.
And I'm not knowing what I've done and I can't
figure it out. Then the person on the other line.
Are you ready yet? No, I'm not ready yet. Can
you give me a few more minutes? And then the
(01:05):
line behind me start to pile up. And just the
confusion of the I cannot anymore take. And I'm feeling
anxious even talking about it. The drive through. I just
can't do the drive through anymore.
S2 (01:17):
Well, we need help. And thankfully Amber Leah is joining us.
And you talk about Amber, how, you know, you just
had envisioned what motherhood would be like. And then there
was the reality and the triggers that came with it, right?
S3 (01:30):
Absolutely. I was not prepared for that. I thought, man,
this is going to be a beautiful, dreamy experience of
motherhood that I've waited for for so long. And then
I actually had kids and didn't sleep a whole lot
and had a messy house, and all the things started
bubbling up and I found myself morphing into this person.
(01:51):
I never imagined I would be very triggered.
S1 (01:55):
Yeah. And what is it? Hungry. Angry. Lonely. Tired. Those
things cause these things, and that's all. That's all part
of parenthood, isn't it? It feels that way at times,
doesn't it?
S3 (02:05):
It is. And yet when we have these angry reactions
or we're feeling overly frustrated, then a lot of guilt
comes in and we think, I think I'm the only
one who feels it at this level, and it's visceral.
And then I think, okay, nobody else is the kind
of bad mom that I'm being right now. And it's
just this vicious cycle that sort of kept repeating itself.
(02:27):
And I thought, surely the Lord has something more for
me than this.
S2 (02:31):
Was there a defining moment, though, that you experienced where
you're like, you know what? I've got to deal with this.
S1 (02:37):
It was dairy Queen. It was at dairy Queen when
everybody was yelling their blizzard order at me.
S2 (02:41):
Or maybe not. Amber, what was your defining moment?
S3 (02:45):
Listen, I think that is a defining moment. Those drive thrus,
for sure, for a lot of people. You know, for me,
I just remember a neighbor knocking on my door one
morning after I was snapping at my kids, and I
froze because I was so embarrassed. I thought, oh no,
I think they might have heard me. And it was
this immediate conviction. And then I thought, well, yes, my
(03:06):
neighbor may have heard me, but I know God hears me.
And I didn't feel like he was condemning me because
we have grace in the Lord. But it was just
that wake up moment for me that I said, Amber,
you've got to change. You know, this is not only
for your good and your kid's good, but to glorify
the Lord because he is hearing me and he is
with me, and I know that he can help me.
(03:27):
But that neighbor knocking on my door, that was like
my wake up call.
S2 (03:30):
Mhm. Yeah.
S1 (03:31):
Was it a Sunday school teacher?
S3 (03:33):
Thankfully it was my my neighbor Joe who has very
you know he's hard of hearing. He's an older gentleman
and he wears hearing aids. And I thought maybe he
didn't have his hearing aids in. And I'm okay on
this one.
S1 (03:46):
Okay. But there are certain things we need to be
angry about, right? There's a difference between what some might
say righteous anger and just daily frustrations. Correct?
S3 (03:56):
That is true. And, you know, I think the key
that really helped me because there is righteous anger, you know,
when my kids are being sinful or, you know, there
are there is certainly evil in the world that makes
us angry, right? And so what I realized, though, is
that I was misplacing my anger. I was directing it
toward my kids and lashing out at them instead of
(04:19):
looking at it as, okay, yeah, this sinful situation is wrong.
But now I get to look at my child with
actually empathy. It's an opportunity, actually, and a signal for
me when I'm triggered by my child's sin, that they
still need some good parenting. They're not mature yet. That's
my that's why we're here as parents is to help
(04:40):
them work through these things. And then also I can actually,
you know, really look at the enemy and be like,
this is your doing. At the end of the day.
And so that's where the righteous anger is placed. But
I don't want to lash out and direct my anger
toward my child.
S2 (04:54):
On day one of the devotionals that you write in
your book. Untriggered you you used the the verse Proverbs
1632 that says, better to be patient than powerful and
better to have self-control than conquer a city. So obviously
this is not an easy thing to do if we're,
you know, comparing it to conquering a whole city. So
(05:16):
give us some practical help on conquering that anger and
those triggers that are so common to us. What's what's
a practical piece of advice you can give us today?
S3 (05:26):
Bridget, that's such a great question. So one thing that
I found when I, when I looked at my own
situation and that I think a lot of moms and
dads struggle with too, is we get overwhelmed by so
many different triggers and different things in our day responsibilities,
and it causes us to almost like, freeze. You know,
we don't even know the next step to take. So
(05:46):
I would just kind of look at what's my biggest
1 or 2 things that are the the opportunities for
me to grow in this moment and to instead of
getting angry and I would just pray over it, I
would pick a specific verse like that one that applied
to my situation. If if I kept saying something that
was hurtful, maybe it would be a verse about my
(06:06):
tongue and I would write it on a note card,
I would put it, you know, on my steering wheel,
on my in my car. I would put it on
my desk at work, and then I would just meditate
on that verse and I would pray through it, and
I would just say, God, help me to speak kindly
and make a better plan. So I'm going to stop
saying this, and I'm going to say this instead. So
when the heat of the moment comes, you have a
plan and you just focus on that one thing as
(06:29):
long as it takes, instead of getting overwhelmed by all
of the different issues. So taking a practical plan in place,
but attaching a spiritual truth to it at the same time,
so that God is doing the transforming work in me,
in my heart. But I also have something in place
that's practical to know what to do when that trigger
comes up the next time.
S1 (06:51):
I think this is so important because as a parent,
we're like, okay, we go into this, my child's not
going to be attached to a device. We're not going
to let them. I mean, we're not going to watch
TV every day. And and then the kid comes along
and they're screaming and you're like, okay, sit in front
of the TV for five minutes so you can be quiet.
And that's just that's our coping mechanism almost. And what
(07:12):
you're doing here is you're saying, okay, we're going to
break away from these external things that might help us
down the road. Yeah. We could maybe use those. There's
nothing terrible about it. But I think many times as
a parent, we we avoid what the real issue is.
And that's the anger that's building up in us. Or
it's even the struggle that we're having with our child.
We avoid that for some kind of a piece of
(07:34):
candy or a widget over here that might help us
out in the in the moment. And that's not really
an answer to our problems, is it?
S3 (07:42):
It's not. And so I kind of like the idea
of like being a coach as a parent, because you're
there to accomplish something with your athlete or with your musician.
You kind of look at the situation, you evaluate their weaknesses,
their strengths. And then you go to work. You put
that plan in place, and you recognize that you're there
to help them grow and mature. And we sometimes get
(08:05):
distracted by our other responsibilities in life. And it's easy
to do that because there's a lot going on for
all of us. But really, parenting intentionally in this way,
putting that plan in place is one of our greatest callings.
You know, God gave us our kids as a gift,
and so we want to cherish that gift. You don't
just toss aside a gift, right? It's we really want
(08:26):
to treasure it. And so slowing down enough to reprioritize,
doing the good parenting so that we're not just automatically,
you know, kind of moving around the issue, circling around it,
instead of actually dealing with these things that are triggering
us and giving our kids our attention and being very
proactive and intentional with them.
S1 (08:47):
Slowing down enough and saying no. I think those are
two things. As parents, we say yes to so many
things that just aren't necessary.
S3 (08:55):
Absolutely. And I have to remind myself all the time.
You know, I think in our country, in the US
and Florida, we're very privileged. We have a lot of
blessings in our lives. I had that conversation with one
of my boys this morning. He was feeling sad about
a helmet that he didn't get on his football team,
and I had to say to him, hey, buddy, I'm
just going to remind you, here's all the other things
(09:15):
that God has given you that are ideal. So let's
not allow the enemy to, you know, put us in
a bad mood and start snapping at everybody. Let's work
on this together to focus on gratitude. We don't have
to have everything we want in life. That's a good
lesson for our kids.
S2 (09:31):
Yeah, absolutely. And the earlier you learn that, the better.
Amber Lee, Amber Lee is joining us. She's author of
help for Those Who Struggle with Anger. The book is
called Untriggered, and these are devotionals for 60 days. And
on day 46, you talk about responding with love. We
don't want to respond in anger, but we do want
(09:51):
to respond in love. and you start the devotion by
talking about a day that your son flat out defied you.
So how did you respond in love in that situation?
S3 (10:04):
Yes. You know, disobedience, I think, is one of the
things that triggers us so much. It immediately feels in
our bodies, like we can feel our bodies tense up.
And it's sort of like we do so much for
our kids, and when they disobey us or they're like,
really super rude or they talk back, we take it
personally and we start going, you know, how dare you,
(10:26):
you know, kind of talk to me like that or
behave like that. And it's a good reminder to me
that they're really not sinning against me. They're sinning against God.
And so I don't need to take it personally. That
allows me to be calm. And also I always try
to remember Amber, God is so patient with you. He's
really long suffering in my own sinful moments and my weaknesses.
(10:49):
He's long suffering with me. So depending on the situation,
you know, I kind of look at it like, okay,
I know that he's tired. He just got some bad
news from a friend. And so this is an offense.
Maybe I could overlook this one and give him grace
because it's really not about me. Oftentimes there's a lot
of other underlying things that are going on with our kids.
So instead of being just quick to punish immediately, I
(11:12):
just like to again, there's that kind of thing slow
down a little bit. Maybe this is something that I
can have discernment on and overlook it. Circle back later
when he's calm. When I'm calm, maybe the next day,
maybe it's 4 or 5 hours later and just say, hey,
let's talk about that. You know? Because in our family,
we talk respectfully to each other, you know, we obey
so that it will go well with you. So tell
(11:33):
me more about why you reacted that way. So again,
this is intentional. It's it's a little bit messier sometimes,
but I think it bridges relationship and demonstrates the loving
kindness of God.
S1 (11:45):
After each one of these devotionals you have put into practice.
And for that, you know, responding with love devotional. You're
putting into practice is showing them grace, like you said,
but then an appropriate touch and a hug. How important
is touch for a child when it comes to the
parent in those situations where they they know they're in
(12:06):
the wrong, they know they've done something bad. And how
can that break that, that barrier almost between the two?
S3 (12:14):
Yeah. I think you have to know your child. You know,
I have four sons. Uh, we call it a testosterone
for good reason. Um, there's a lot going on there. Um,
and I have one boy. Two, actually, that are real cuddlers.
You know, one is a teen and one is is eight.
They both just need the hug. They need that. They
need that reassurance. I have one son that's, you know,
(12:34):
that's not really his thing. So I would maybe approach
him a little bit differently. But a lot of kids,
especially when they're young, they need that. Sometimes I will just,
you know, even if my child is having a tantrum,
I'll just sit near them and kind of get lower.
I'll come sit on the floor with them and just
give them a minute. I like to tell them, him.
Let's take a holy pause and just breathe for a
second till we can get our our, you know, our
(12:56):
minds back in a in a right right state and
just slowing down. Maybe just put your arm around them.
But I think that's really sweet. And and actually sometimes
even when my kids will say mean things to me,
they'll say like, I don't love you anymore. I wish
I wasn't in this family. And I will just lovingly
say to them, because there is a verse that talks about,
you know, don't listen to everything. You know, your servant says,
(13:18):
you know, even if they curse you, you yourself know
how many times you have said things that you don't mean.
And so I just take that to heart and I
just say, you know what? I don't know if you
really mean that I love you no matter what. And
I'll just give them a pat on the back or
give them a quick hug and I'll say, well, we
can talk more about this later when we're both calm.
And I think that kind of it's like a hug
with your words or a hug even with your arm,
(13:40):
just giving them reassurance that your relationship is there. I
tell my boys all the time, I love you even
when you're naughty. Um, and so just displaying, displaying that
empathy and that unconditional love, even in these triggered moments,
goes a long way to demonstrate God's love for them
as their heavenly father.
S2 (13:58):
I love that concept too. A Holy Pause I think
we need to give ourselves a holy pause from a
time or two. But as we end our conversation with you, Amber,
for the mom or the parent who feels like, well,
I've blown it, my anger has just gone too far.
Maybe it's caused too much damage. Is there hope for
restoration and really healing and really overcoming this issue of
(14:22):
being triggered?
S3 (14:25):
Bridget, the story is never over and there is no
limit to what God can do in any relationship or
any situation or any heart. And so I want our
listeners to have hope today. It is never too late
to do the next right thing. And sometimes the hardest
(14:45):
part is forgiving ourselves. And yet God is so gracious
to forgive us that we can forgive our kids. Our
kids can forgive us. And I think most of the time,
what I see when I work with families is that
kids are very quick to forgive. They have a very
short runway to wanting to heal those relationships. And so
(15:07):
I think it's a really a good blessing. I think
most of the time it's really us wanting to forgive ourselves.
But you know what? All we can do is, as
far as it depends on us, to be at peace
with everyone, to make those steps in the right direction.
But there's so much hope. I've seen God do amazing
things in relationships. Don't give up. Never underestimate the power
of prayer. Lean in and pray.
S1 (15:29):
Amen to that. Untriggered. Is this book a great devotional
resource for you with practical helps each after each reading.
And Amber Leah has been with us to talk about
this 60 days to transformation from Moms who Struggle with
anger again. Find out more information at our website. Eric
and Bridget Dot.
All right, guess we have to go here. You're listening
to mornings with Eric and Bridget here on Moody Radio 89.3.
S2 (00:13):
Well, you know, there's the dream of a thing, an event,
a relationship. And then there's the reality when you're in it.
And then we find that at times people, places, things
can really trigger us. Eric, I know we've been working
through we've been working through a place that triggers you
all morning, that drive through window.
S1 (00:33):
I just also want to make mention that I'm the
only one that's been vulnerable here this morning.
S2 (00:37):
But I talked about driving, triggering me. I mean, listen.
S1 (00:41):
That triggers all.
S2 (00:41):
Of us on 95 and especially down south.
S1 (00:44):
No, but okay, so I did mention that the I,
I thought I was the only one. Thankfully, I found
out I'm not the only one, but going through the
drive through with a family and everybody yelling their order.
And I'm not knowing what I've done and I can't
figure it out. Then the person on the other line.
Are you ready yet? No, I'm not ready yet. Can
you give me a few more minutes? And then the
(01:05):
line behind me start to pile up. And just the
confusion of the I cannot anymore take. And I'm feeling
anxious even talking about it. The drive through. I just
can't do the drive through anymore.
S2 (01:17):
Well, we need help. And thankfully Amber Leah is joining us.
And you talk about Amber, how, you know, you just
had envisioned what motherhood would be like. And then there
was the reality and the triggers that came with it, right?
S3 (01:30):
Absolutely. I was not prepared for that. I thought, man,
this is going to be a beautiful, dreamy experience of
motherhood that I've waited for for so long. And then
I actually had kids and didn't sleep a whole lot
and had a messy house, and all the things started
bubbling up and I found myself morphing into this person.
(01:51):
I never imagined I would be very triggered.
S1 (01:55):
Yeah. And what is it? Hungry. Angry. Lonely. Tired. Those
things cause these things, and that's all. That's all part
of parenthood, isn't it? It feels that way at times,
doesn't it?
S3 (02:05):
It is. And yet when we have these angry reactions
or we're feeling overly frustrated, then a lot of guilt
comes in and we think, I think I'm the only
one who feels it at this level, and it's visceral.
And then I think, okay, nobody else is the kind
of bad mom that I'm being right now. And it's
just this vicious cycle that sort of kept repeating itself.
(02:27):
And I thought, surely the Lord has something more for
me than this.
S2 (02:31):
Was there a defining moment, though, that you experienced where
you're like, you know what? I've got to deal with this.
S1 (02:37):
It was dairy Queen. It was at dairy Queen when
everybody was yelling their blizzard order at me.
S2 (02:41):
Or maybe not. Amber, what was your defining moment?
S3 (02:45):
Listen, I think that is a defining moment. Those drive thrus,
for sure, for a lot of people. You know, for me,
I just remember a neighbor knocking on my door one
morning after I was snapping at my kids, and I
froze because I was so embarrassed. I thought, oh no,
I think they might have heard me. And it was
this immediate conviction. And then I thought, well, yes, my
(03:06):
neighbor may have heard me, but I know God hears me.
And I didn't feel like he was condemning me because
we have grace in the Lord. But it was just
that wake up moment for me that I said, Amber,
you've got to change. You know, this is not only
for your good and your kid's good, but to glorify
the Lord because he is hearing me and he is
with me, and I know that he can help me.
(03:27):
But that neighbor knocking on my door, that was like
my wake up call.
S2 (03:30):
Mhm. Yeah.
S1 (03:31):
Was it a Sunday school teacher?
S3 (03:33):
Thankfully it was my my neighbor Joe who has very
you know he's hard of hearing. He's an older gentleman
and he wears hearing aids. And I thought maybe he
didn't have his hearing aids in. And I'm okay on
this one.
S1 (03:46):
Okay. But there are certain things we need to be
angry about, right? There's a difference between what some might
say righteous anger and just daily frustrations. Correct?
S3 (03:56):
That is true. And, you know, I think the key
that really helped me because there is righteous anger, you know,
when my kids are being sinful or, you know, there
are there is certainly evil in the world that makes
us angry, right? And so what I realized, though, is
that I was misplacing my anger. I was directing it
toward my kids and lashing out at them instead of
(04:19):
looking at it as, okay, yeah, this sinful situation is wrong.
But now I get to look at my child with
actually empathy. It's an opportunity, actually, and a signal for
me when I'm triggered by my child's sin, that they
still need some good parenting. They're not mature yet. That's
my that's why we're here as parents is to help
(04:40):
them work through these things. And then also I can actually,
you know, really look at the enemy and be like,
this is your doing. At the end of the day.
And so that's where the righteous anger is placed. But
I don't want to lash out and direct my anger
toward my child.
S2 (04:54):
On day one of the devotionals that you write in
your book. Untriggered you you used the the verse Proverbs
1632 that says, better to be patient than powerful and
better to have self-control than conquer a city. So obviously
this is not an easy thing to do if we're,
you know, comparing it to conquering a whole city. So
(05:16):
give us some practical help on conquering that anger and
those triggers that are so common to us. What's what's
a practical piece of advice you can give us today?
S3 (05:26):
Bridget, that's such a great question. So one thing that
I found when I, when I looked at my own
situation and that I think a lot of moms and
dads struggle with too, is we get overwhelmed by so
many different triggers and different things in our day responsibilities,
and it causes us to almost like, freeze. You know,
we don't even know the next step to take. So
(05:46):
I would just kind of look at what's my biggest
1 or 2 things that are the the opportunities for
me to grow in this moment and to instead of
getting angry and I would just pray over it, I
would pick a specific verse like that one that applied
to my situation. If if I kept saying something that
was hurtful, maybe it would be a verse about my
(06:06):
tongue and I would write it on a note card,
I would put it, you know, on my steering wheel,
on my in my car. I would put it on
my desk at work, and then I would just meditate
on that verse and I would pray through it, and
I would just say, God, help me to speak kindly
and make a better plan. So I'm going to stop
saying this, and I'm going to say this instead. So
when the heat of the moment comes, you have a
plan and you just focus on that one thing as
(06:29):
long as it takes, instead of getting overwhelmed by all
of the different issues. So taking a practical plan in place,
but attaching a spiritual truth to it at the same time,
so that God is doing the transforming work in me,
in my heart. But I also have something in place
that's practical to know what to do when that trigger
comes up the next time.
S1 (06:51):
I think this is so important because as a parent,
we're like, okay, we go into this, my child's not
going to be attached to a device. We're not going
to let them. I mean, we're not going to watch
TV every day. And and then the kid comes along
and they're screaming and you're like, okay, sit in front
of the TV for five minutes so you can be quiet.
And that's just that's our coping mechanism almost. And what
(07:12):
you're doing here is you're saying, okay, we're going to
break away from these external things that might help us
down the road. Yeah. We could maybe use those. There's
nothing terrible about it. But I think many times as
a parent, we we avoid what the real issue is.
And that's the anger that's building up in us. Or
it's even the struggle that we're having with our child.
We avoid that for some kind of a piece of
(07:34):
candy or a widget over here that might help us
out in the in the moment. And that's not really
an answer to our problems, is it?
S3 (07:42):
It's not. And so I kind of like the idea
of like being a coach as a parent, because you're
there to accomplish something with your athlete or with your musician.
You kind of look at the situation, you evaluate their weaknesses,
their strengths. And then you go to work. You put
that plan in place, and you recognize that you're there
to help them grow and mature. And we sometimes get
(08:05):
distracted by our other responsibilities in life. And it's easy
to do that because there's a lot going on for
all of us. But really, parenting intentionally in this way,
putting that plan in place is one of our greatest callings.
You know, God gave us our kids as a gift,
and so we want to cherish that gift. You don't
just toss aside a gift, right? It's we really want
(08:26):
to treasure it. And so slowing down enough to reprioritize,
doing the good parenting so that we're not just automatically,
you know, kind of moving around the issue, circling around it,
instead of actually dealing with these things that are triggering
us and giving our kids our attention and being very
proactive and intentional with them.
S1 (08:47):
Slowing down enough and saying no. I think those are
two things. As parents, we say yes to so many
things that just aren't necessary.
S3 (08:55):
Absolutely. And I have to remind myself all the time.
You know, I think in our country, in the US
and Florida, we're very privileged. We have a lot of
blessings in our lives. I had that conversation with one
of my boys this morning. He was feeling sad about
a helmet that he didn't get on his football team,
and I had to say to him, hey, buddy, I'm
just going to remind you, here's all the other things
(09:15):
that God has given you that are ideal. So let's
not allow the enemy to, you know, put us in
a bad mood and start snapping at everybody. Let's work
on this together to focus on gratitude. We don't have
to have everything we want in life. That's a good
lesson for our kids.
S2 (09:31):
Yeah, absolutely. And the earlier you learn that, the better.
Amber Lee, Amber Lee is joining us. She's author of
help for Those Who Struggle with Anger. The book is
called Untriggered, and these are devotionals for 60 days. And
on day 46, you talk about responding with love. We
don't want to respond in anger, but we do want
(09:51):
to respond in love. and you start the devotion by
talking about a day that your son flat out defied you.
So how did you respond in love in that situation?
S3 (10:04):
Yes. You know, disobedience, I think, is one of the
things that triggers us so much. It immediately feels in
our bodies, like we can feel our bodies tense up.
And it's sort of like we do so much for
our kids, and when they disobey us or they're like,
really super rude or they talk back, we take it
personally and we start going, you know, how dare you,
(10:26):
you know, kind of talk to me like that or
behave like that. And it's a good reminder to me
that they're really not sinning against me. They're sinning against God.
And so I don't need to take it personally. That
allows me to be calm. And also I always try
to remember Amber, God is so patient with you. He's
really long suffering in my own sinful moments and my weaknesses.
(10:49):
He's long suffering with me. So depending on the situation,
you know, I kind of look at it like, okay,
I know that he's tired. He just got some bad
news from a friend. And so this is an offense.
Maybe I could overlook this one and give him grace
because it's really not about me. Oftentimes there's a lot
of other underlying things that are going on with our kids.
So instead of being just quick to punish immediately, I
(11:12):
just like to again, there's that kind of thing slow
down a little bit. Maybe this is something that I
can have discernment on and overlook it. Circle back later
when he's calm. When I'm calm, maybe the next day,
maybe it's 4 or 5 hours later and just say, hey,
let's talk about that. You know? Because in our family,
we talk respectfully to each other, you know, we obey
so that it will go well with you. So tell
(11:33):
me more about why you reacted that way. So again,
this is intentional. It's it's a little bit messier sometimes,
but I think it bridges relationship and demonstrates the loving
kindness of God.
S1 (11:45):
After each one of these devotionals you have put into practice.
And for that, you know, responding with love devotional. You're
putting into practice is showing them grace, like you said,
but then an appropriate touch and a hug. How important
is touch for a child when it comes to the
parent in those situations where they they know they're in
(12:06):
the wrong, they know they've done something bad. And how
can that break that, that barrier almost between the two?
S3 (12:14):
Yeah. I think you have to know your child. You know,
I have four sons. Uh, we call it a testosterone
for good reason. Um, there's a lot going on there. Um,
and I have one boy. Two, actually, that are real cuddlers.
You know, one is a teen and one is is eight.
They both just need the hug. They need that. They
need that reassurance. I have one son that's, you know,
(12:34):
that's not really his thing. So I would maybe approach
him a little bit differently. But a lot of kids,
especially when they're young, they need that. Sometimes I will just,
you know, even if my child is having a tantrum,
I'll just sit near them and kind of get lower.
I'll come sit on the floor with them and just
give them a minute. I like to tell them, him.
Let's take a holy pause and just breathe for a
second till we can get our our, you know, our
(12:56):
minds back in a in a right right state and
just slowing down. Maybe just put your arm around them.
But I think that's really sweet. And and actually sometimes
even when my kids will say mean things to me,
they'll say like, I don't love you anymore. I wish
I wasn't in this family. And I will just lovingly
say to them, because there is a verse that talks about,
you know, don't listen to everything. You know, your servant says,
(13:18):
you know, even if they curse you, you yourself know
how many times you have said things that you don't mean.
And so I just take that to heart and I
just say, you know what? I don't know if you
really mean that I love you no matter what. And
I'll just give them a pat on the back or
give them a quick hug and I'll say, well, we
can talk more about this later when we're both calm.
And I think that kind of it's like a hug
with your words or a hug even with your arm,
(13:40):
just giving them reassurance that your relationship is there. I
tell my boys all the time, I love you even
when you're naughty. Um, and so just displaying, displaying that
empathy and that unconditional love, even in these triggered moments,
goes a long way to demonstrate God's love for them
as their heavenly father.
S2 (13:58):
I love that concept too. A Holy Pause I think
we need to give ourselves a holy pause from a
time or two. But as we end our conversation with you, Amber,
for the mom or the parent who feels like, well,
I've blown it, my anger has just gone too far.
Maybe it's caused too much damage. Is there hope for
restoration and really healing and really overcoming this issue of
(14:22):
being triggered?
S3 (14:25):
Bridget, the story is never over and there is no
limit to what God can do in any relationship or
any situation or any heart. And so I want our
listeners to have hope today. It is never too late
to do the next right thing. And sometimes the hardest
(14:45):
part is forgiving ourselves. And yet God is so gracious
to forgive us that we can forgive our kids. Our
kids can forgive us. And I think most of the time,
what I see when I work with families is that
kids are very quick to forgive. They have a very
short runway to wanting to heal those relationships. And so
(15:07):
I think it's a really a good blessing. I think
most of the time it's really us wanting to forgive ourselves.
But you know what? All we can do is, as
far as it depends on us, to be at peace
with everyone, to make those steps in the right direction.
But there's so much hope. I've seen God do amazing
things in relationships. Don't give up. Never underestimate the power
of prayer. Lean in and pray.
S1 (15:29):
Amen to that. Untriggered. Is this book a great devotional
resource for you with practical helps each after each reading.
And Amber Leah has been with us to talk about
this 60 days to transformation from Moms who Struggle with
anger again. Find out more information at our website. Eric
and Bridget Dot.
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