Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Welcome to motherhood and theMessy Middle where grade school
meets grown kids.
Hot flashes meet holy fire, andno topic is too messy for this
village.
I'm Robin.
One half of the voice behindthis podcast.
Nicole and I are two moms whoslid into each other's dms and
built a virtual village where weare inviting you in into our
(00:21):
honest, healing, and oftenhilarious conversations.
Help you feel not so alone.
In the beautiful chaos ofmotherhood and midlife, we talk
about what it really means tomother to grow, to fall apart
and rebuild spiritually,emotionally, hormonally, and
sometimes all before breakfast.
So whether you're in the thickof motherhood, facing
(00:43):
perimenopause, praying hard, orjust tired of pretending, you're
fine.
This face is for you.
Let's dive in.
Robin (00:53):
Hey Nicole.
Hi.
I'm so excited.
Me too.
So here's what I'm thinking forthis intro episode.
I wanna let the listeners get toknow us, especially you.
Yeah.
'cause I'm just like, love youso much.
Oh, you're so sweet.
And I want to start with you,and then maybe I'll share a
little bit about myself.
Yeah.
And then we, I wanna talk aboutthis vision that we have for
(01:15):
this podcast.
Yeah.
And what they can expect eachweek when they tune in.
How does that sound?
Yeah, I think that's great.
Nicole (01:21):
I think that's great.
Yeah.
Robin (01:22):
All right.
Tell us about you.
Who are you?
What?
Just a small question to start,just a little one.
Who are you?
What is, what is your mission inlife?
We're not, we're
Nicole (01:30):
not diving deep or
anything at all.
We're just jam right in with thecasual stuff.
Uh, my name is Nicole Coates andI have, um, established, uh,
Instagram and a website nicolecoates.com where you can follow
me over at Instagram at, Heygirl, it's Nicole and I really.
I'm a mom of four.
I've been married 17 years.
My oldest child is my daughterthrough a stepparent adoption,
(01:54):
and then our younger three areall boys and they're still all
at home.
So we have kids raging from ages21 all the way down to 11.
So we have quite a range andlife gets a little bit chaotic
with three boys, so I'm alwayson my toes, but as I was
navigating motherhood and mykids were getting older into the
teen years.
I really found that there's thisgap in the older years for
(02:18):
support for us moms.
And so my, how Robin and Iconnected or how you and I
connected is we were buildingsolo.
You always say it really well,solopreneur, soul-based online
businesses, and my mission wasto create support for moms of
older kids in whether that'sprayer, whether that's parent
(02:39):
coaching.
Workbooks webinars.
I'm a mental health advocate fora nonprofit called Speak Out
because mental health hasaffected, um, my children in
really big ways, and I also feellike support for parents of kids
who are struggling with theirmental health is lacking.
And so I'm out here just toremind moms of older kids that
(03:01):
it's hard and we're not talkingabout it.
Like we were when they weretoddlers because the issues are
bigger and their issues areprivate, but they do affect us
and it's hard to gain wisdomfrom other moms when it's such
private issues.
And so you feel very alone andisolated.
And I'm over here on this sideof the internet screaming,
(03:22):
you're not alone.
You're not alone.
You can't talk about it.
I know, but I just want you toknow that we're going through it
too.
And I think that there's suchpower in feeling.
Seen and that connection whenyou feel seen, is so beautiful
and empowering.
And that's really what I'mtrying to do on my corner, a
little corner of the internetand what we now are trying to do
(03:44):
through this podcast, which I'mso excited about.
So, Robin, tell us about you,your family, how we met, what
your.
Part of the Internet's doingover there in Minnesota.
Robin (03:56):
Oh yeah, Minnesota.
So Nicole's in Idaho.
I'm in Minnesota, that's, I'm inIdaho.
We've never, we've never met inperson.
Oh yeah.
That's an important piece.
I hope that that changessomeday.
It's gonna be real special andprobably uncomfortable for you
because I am a hugger.
Let me tell you.
I'll take all your thoughts.
So my name is Robin Richardsand.
(04:17):
I have a business called RobinsWellness, where I teach holistic
weight loss and wellness, andit's really important to me, the
word teach and that I'm ateacher, I do coach.
That's part of what a teacherdoes, but my identity and my
professional career is based onteaching.
Mm-hmm.
I actually was a high schoolmath teacher and an.
(04:39):
Woo.
I'm struggling with saying thatand an administrator.
Nicole (04:43):
There
Robin (04:43):
you go.
In public schools for 13 yearsbefore I had a crippling mental
and physical health crisis.
Mm-hmm.
That led me to resigning myposition in public schools,
dedicating myself to healing,and in turn the lifelong learner
that is in me and the, uh,relentless.
(05:04):
Pursuit to ignite the infinitegrowth potential that I see in
others.
Extended beyond the mathclassroom.
Mm-hmm.
And came into the work that I donow.
Um, for a period of time I hadbeen a Weight Watchers coach.
Mm-hmm.
Because I was, um, always thebig boned girl and in my.
(05:26):
The entire existence that Icould remember was struggling
with weight, was in the midst oftoxic diet culture.
And there are some reallywonderful elements that I have
learned and still keep andtranslate from being a coach,
um, with.
Weight Watchers.
And there are other aspects thatI have ditched along the way as
(05:46):
I have gained nutrition coachcertifications as well as
multiple wellness certificationsranging from meditation, yoga,
Pilates, all the way to being aReiki master teacher.
And if you don't know what reikiis, um, it is, uh, an energy
healing technique that part ofwho I am is that I merge.
Soul and science, she does it so
Nicole (06:09):
well.
Robin (06:09):
I actually was, um, I'm
really rooted in conventional
practices.
A lot of my identity, I rerelate to a lot of, like the
boomer generation, really highskepticism for like what I
define as the world of Woo.
And.
Yet, I came into all of itbecause I love learning and
there's the aspect of me.
I'm very eclectic, so eventhough I am a math person, I'm
(06:33):
also really artistic andcreative, and I'm learning to
embrace more of that.
And so I learned science behindthe energy practices, and I like
to synthesize information forpeople so that they can create
personalized plans that helpsupport them in their goals
around holistic weight loss andwellness.
Mm-hmm.
And I did come into all of thisbecause we're gonna talk about
(06:56):
the real deal.
Um, you know, and this ismotherhood and the messy middle.
I'm a mom, I have an only child,and I had years of crippling
infertility that I dealt with.
Mm-hmm.
As well as my childhood was, um,filled with trauma that
translated into complex PTSDinto adulthood.
(07:17):
And I have, um, been in recoveryfor my mental health as well as
addiction, um, for almost adecade now.
And as part of that, ituncovered an autoimmune
condition.
And I also am in earlymenopause.
So I'm 42 at the time of thisfirst episode.
And I have learned a lot aboutmy body, about my mind, and
(07:41):
about my.
Spirit and all of thoseconnections.
Mm-hmm.
I'm just, I'm passionate aboutbringing together circles of
women, so that has ranged fromretreats to online spaces.
Mm-hmm.
And, you know, in the midst ofall of that, that it's a, it's a
lot of different things.
Mm-hmm.
And so I've struggled with, howdo I.
I became an entrepreneur, notbecause I wanted to be an
(08:03):
entrepreneur.
It's because the only way for meto actualize this passion that I
have around holistic wellnessand helping empower people is to
create a business that thenserves that, and also that I can
serve my family.
And that's how Nicole and I metbecause.
Packaging all of that up into aquick social media.
(08:23):
Anything is, um, a challengefor, for this neurodivergent
brain, let me tell you.
And we were in, um, we were ina, a course, we were getting
some resources from the sameperson and that's how we ended
up getting connected And mm-hmm.
There was a, a third woman thatwas involved with us, who's
absolutely wonderful, and thethree of us.
(08:45):
Slid into each other's dmssomehow started, we're like
Nicole (08:49):
living proof that you
could have a virtual village
because we've never met, we'vebeen friends.
Our friendship has grown over,has it been a year or two?
I think it might be two.
Robin (09:00):
Yeah, I think that it'll
be two in December.
So we're at like a year and ahalf.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
So
Nicole (09:04):
we've grown this and
we're evolving it to then reach
out and include other women inour virtual village, but we're
proof that it can happen.
Like we don't have to be nextdoor to be able to find support
and friendship.
Robin (09:16):
We're called because we
know that it is needed because
we have needed it.
Right.
When you're in the pickup line,when you're in between
practices, right.
When as the kids are aging, asNicole said, I started consuming
her content because I'm thoughI'm an educator and have worked
with teenagers, I've neverparented one before.
Right.
(09:36):
And my daughter is.
About to be in her last year ofelementary school and I'm
freaked out.
So I'm trying, I'm trying tolearn all that I can.
'cause I, I have one shot atthis and I, I, no pressure.
No pressure, no pressure onthat.
Poor only child of, with areally intense mom.
Right.
Um, so, you know, we have cometogether in friendship, but it's
(09:59):
also this deeper calling andmm-hmm We are both extremely
spiritual and grounded in ourfaith.
Yes.
And that looks different forboth of us.
But
Nicole (10:07):
what we've learned so
much from each other too.
Yes.
'cause we have theseconversations that take us
deeper and just open my eyes todifferent ideas and practices
and.
And in this world right
Robin (10:19):
now, people aren't having
a lot of those deep
conversations because it can beso uncomfortable to sit in.
But also there is so much stigmaaround which side are you on and
where are you with this?
And really, as women, we'remeant to be in villages
communing and seeing thoseconnections to help expand our
(10:39):
ourselves and in turn.
Become better, better mothersand navigate the messy middle,
whatever that looks like.
Nicole (10:47):
Yeah.
Robin (10:47):
In different seasons of
life.
Nicole (10:49):
Yeah, absolutely.
Better.
Yeah.
I, we, I, it's our desire whenyou're here listening and we're
creating this village that youfeel seen, that you feel
connected, that you, it's aeye-opening.
Like, okay, like that's a goodidea.
What we talk about may notalways be something you can
apply, but maybe it sparks anidea of what might work for you
or it's offering a differentperspective that maybe you
(11:11):
haven't thought of, and we just.
Hope that you feel empoweredafter you spend some time with
us and we wanna hear from you.
If there, like, you'll hear usask for feedback and that send
us questions because we want, wewant this to be a community
where there's back and forth.
Robin (11:29):
So what you can expect
from us each week is that we're
gonna drop an episode whereNicole and I have a topic, but
really we're going to engage ina conversation around it.
And you're invited to the tableto listen in on.
Yeah.
Two real moms who are just.
Trying to navigate this world.
And we have some resources thatwe've had to bring in because of
(11:52):
our own journeys in motherhoodand the messy middle that we
wanna share with you.
And as Nicole said, we want toconnect with you, so please
always feel free to reach outand no topic is off the table.
Um, so this is just thebeginning.
Thank you for joining us today.
I also wanna mention that Nicoleand I have been very intentional
(12:14):
that we want these episodes tobe able to be consumed while you
are serving as the chauffeur,that you never knew that you
would be as a maum and while youare, you know, doing the dishes
or whatever else, folding thelaundry.
Mm-hmm.
Um.
It's just that, that, thatthread that can help you to know
(12:38):
that you're not alone.
Mm-hmm.
And that you have a virtualvillage of connection and
support.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, so now we are called to dothis work, but we do have a
simple, easy request to helpsupport us.
All it is, is to scroll down tothe bottom of whatever platform
that you're listening and leaveus a rating and review,
especially at the launch of apodcast.
(13:00):
It means so much because ithelps us get to the top of
searches and support more women.
Mm-hmm.
And that is our calling becausewhen moms feel seen, when they
feel supported and not so alone.
Mm-hmm.
The whole world.
Gets a little bit better.
Nicole (13:18):
Mm-hmm.
Robin (13:19):
Also, if you could please
pass it on, share motherhood in
the messy middle with someone inyour village who's also
navigating motherhood.
Or even make it like a podcastbook club, if that feels like
something that I, gosh, I lovethat.
Yeah.
Where instead of reading who hastime for that, we're just gonna
listen.
I love it.
Listen to it separately and comein and even Marco polo each
other back and forth.
(13:39):
That's how we're allcommunicating nowadays.
Anyways.
Yeah.
We're marking DMing.
Whatever we can do, just to havethat connection as we navigate
motherhood and that messy inbetween.
Nicole (13:50):
Mm-hmm.
Robin (13:51):
So we're so grateful that
you're here.
Thank you for tuning in, and nowyou can go binge the next two
episodes that dive intomotherhood and exactly what the
messy middle means.
Alright, until next time, sendyou so much love.
Bye.
Hey, before you go, we've gotsomething just for you.
(14:11):
We created the motherhood andthe messy middle resource vault.
It's a growing library ofsupport that's just for you.
So inside you're gonna findtools from both Nicole and my
work plus resources that wemention right here on the
podcast.
It's free, it's sent straight toyour inbox, and it's always
evolving just like you.
So take what you need, leave therest.
You never know when you're gonnaneed it.
Or when your group chat mightthank you for it.
(14:33):
So use the link in the shownotes or head to motherhood and
the messy middle.com to getaccess and welcome to your
virtual village.