July 1, 2025 • 16 mins
What if motherhood was never just about them… but also about you?
In this episode, we open up about stepparenting, infertility, trauma, healing, and the unexpected ways motherhood transforms us. From living room wrestling matches to late-night tears, we're naming the real stuff—and the growth it brings.
For the mom navigating big feelings, growing kids, and wondering if she’s doing enough… this one’s for you.
Pull up a seat—we saved you one.
Thanks for joining us in the Messy Middle!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Robin (00:00):
What if motherhood isn't just about raising kids, but
also about raising ourselves?
The truth is motherhoodtransforms you whether you're
ready or not.
That's why we're here to talkabout the real stuff, the raw
stuff, the stuff that helps youfeel a little more seen and a
whole lot less alone.
Welcome to Motherhood in theMessy Middle, where two moms
(00:23):
who've never met in person, butshare a soul level friendship.
We're holding the space for thedeeper questions and the
conversations that most of usaren't having.
Let's get into it.
Welcome to motherhood and theMessy Middle where grade school
meets grown kids.
Hot flashes meet holy fire, andno topic is too messy for this
(00:46):
village.
I'm Robin.
One half of the voice behindthis podcast.
Nicole and I are two moms whoslid into each other's dms and
built a virtual village where weare inviting you in into our
honest, healing, and oftenhilarious conversations.
Help you feel not so alone.
In the beautiful chaos ofmotherhood and midlife, we talk
(01:08):
about what it really means tomother to grow, to fall apart
and rebuild spiritually,emotionally, hormonally, and
sometimes all before breakfast.
So whether you're in the thickof motherhood, facing
perimenopause, praying hard, orjust tired of pretending, you're
fine.
This face is for you.
Let's dive in.
(01:31):
Well, hello, Nicole.
Hey, now that we dropped ourfirst episode that introduces
this podcast and a little bitabout ourselves, let's get
straight to the heart of it.
Motherhood.
Nicole (01:43):
Yay.
Now.
Robin (01:45):
I'm not here for the Pinterest perfect curated feed
version.
I have enough of that when I'msocial scrolling.
So let's talk about the realdeal.
And you know, I'm talking likelaundry piles, braless pickup
lines.
Yep.
Losing our cool, even the latenight tears of worry.
All of that is also alongsidethe belly breaking laughter and
(02:09):
the hearts that feel likethey're just gonna burst with
love.
So I wanna start by asking youthis question.
What did you expect motherhoodto be before you became a mom?
Nicole (02:21):
To be honest, I don't think that I had any
expectations.
I think that it, I just wasraised in a culture that I just
knew that was what I was gonnado.
Like everyone around me wasmothers and that's just, I knew
I was gonna, the checkbox
Robin (02:31):
that's gonna happen.
Yeah.
Nicole (02:32):
Yeah.
Like I didn't really even thinkabout it.
I just went into it knowingthat's what it is.
Robin (02:39):
It's so powerful for me to hear that because it's the
opposite of what, what Iexperienced.
Um, so, you know, I.
Grew up in a tumultuous way.
Mm-hmm.
My parents were divorced beforeI was two years old, so I have
no memories of them beingtogether.
Um, and when my mom remarried,she married someone who was
(03:00):
domestically abusive and heended up ending her life.
Mm-hmm.
And I witnessed that tragicevent and it shaped me.
And so it shaped me in a waythat I did not understand what
motherhood.
Really was
Nicole (03:16):
right,
Robin (03:16):
and I was so blessed that I had this incredible father.
Who became my full custodyparent after my mom died, and he
had a girlfriend that became hiswife and my stepmom, but she
made it clear she never wantedto have children.
(03:36):
She loved my father and sheloved me, and she stepped into
it, but it wasn't something thatshe had any expectations of ever
becoming.
Mm-hmm.
And.
So in a way I was actuallyavoiding motherhood.
Hmm.
I.
Had this trauma that was livingin my brain that thought I was
(03:57):
gonna end up just like my mom ifI became a mother.
Right.
And it wasn't until I turned 30and had already been married for
four years, that there was likea switch that flipped in me and
it was like this primal callinglike, Robin, you, this is what
you're meant to be.
Yeah.
I had been a teacher and I just,I loved like.
(04:19):
Fearlessly, all of these otherhumans.
And all of the sudden it wassomething inside of me that just
knew, and then I struggled andit was years of infertility and
oh, the journey with that.
And then eventually I wasblessed with my beautiful baby
girl.
And then there was struggle withthat, with, uh, genetic disorder
(04:40):
diagnosis and navigating the.
The system that is healthparentheses care, and, and
through that I, I feel like, youknow, I'm a decade into
motherhood now.
My daughter's about to turn 10and I am still figuring out what
it looks like and what thatright, what I want that to look
(05:03):
like.
Nicole (05:04):
And I think that should be what we normalize.
That motherhood is al.
We're always figuring it outbecause even like you just
explained, it doesn't youweren't sure about being a
mother, but then once you weresure you were sure, but then it
probably didn't go as you hopedor expected.
'cause there was IVF and thengenetic diagnosis is, and you
just, no one anticipates thosethings and we don't prepare for
(05:26):
those things.
Our mind, our fear might let uswander there, but like when
we're dreaming, we're notdreaming of.
Those struggles.
And I think that's whatmotherhood is.
It's that messy middle offiguring out and still
navigating it as we go.
So I think you said itbeautifully and I think that
mine, even though I didn't knowwhat to expect, I think so I, I
(05:46):
have am a stepparent, and wenton to adopt her, but, so I
stepped in and my, she was threewhen my husband and I got
married and,.
No, I'm sorry.
She was three when we starteddating.
She was like five when I thinkwe got married.
I stepped into that stepparentrole really early.
I was only 21, 22.
Robin (06:05):
Oh my gosh.
You were a baby.
Nicole (06:07):
I know, I know.
I still think
Robin (06:08):
of you as a baby, just so you know.
I'm always gonna pull the agecard on you.
I
Nicole (06:13):
don't feel like I'm that much younger than you, but Well.
Robin (06:17):
42 and 39 feel like decades apart to me.
'cause they're literallydifferent decades.
That's true.
Nicole (06:24):
But I stepped into that role and I had no idea.
I didn't know what to expect.
My parents are still married tothis day.
I think they just celebrated, Ithink like 45 years of marriage.
Wow.
Yeah.
So that's that kind of nuclearfamily is what I was raised
with.
And then I stepped into thestepparent role.
My husband, his parents weredivorced, but they navigated it
(06:47):
really, really well.
And so he,
Robin (06:48):
that's such a blessing.
That's such a blessing.
Nicole (06:52):
It really helped me understand my role.
And don't get me wrong, there'ssome times that I didn't do well
and I had to learn from it, but,in my wildest dreams, I didn't
imagine starting my motherhoodjourney as a stepparent.
But I do think that it madegoing into motherhood a little
easier.
'cause I already had a glimpseof it.
We had her frequently with usand so it was like, and I'd
(07:14):
already seen, I had the gift ofseeing my husband as a dad.
That's part of falling in lovewith him was like, I got to see
how tender he was and howsupportive and he was, and how
she was the priority like.
E every decision was just laserfocused and driven by what she
needed, what was best for her.
And I got to see that.
So then it made stepping intoparenthood a little less unknown
(07:35):
for me.
Whereas, you know, most people,you're stepping in, it's your
first child together.
And so that's kind of a gift inthat sense that I got to see, I
knew what my, how my partner wasgonna show up for my kids and
for me.
'cause I got to see it firsthandfirst.
Robin (07:53):
That's a very unique, unexpected gift and really
profound that you're able toidentify it.
I'm wondering if there's anyother unexpected gifts from
motherhood that you have justbeen struck by that were not on
your radar.
Nicole (08:10):
Like all of motherhood, I feel like it's so many like
being
Robin (08:13):
a, a, being a, a wrestling referee.
Has that been a gift
Nicole (08:17):
for you?
Yeah.
It was, Marco polling Robin lastnight because my three boys,
they had been sent away to play,which is a reminder.
There were 16, 13, and 11, andthey play,
Robin (08:29):
so what means physical?
Right Wrestling?
Yes, of course.
Yes.
So my
Nicole (08:30):
11-year-old comes downstairs and sobbing, and I
can tell from his cry that it'sa hurt cry.
So I was telling Robin he camedown the stairs and before I
even comforted him, I like did aspin.
Like I'm looking for blood.
I'm lifting his arms, looking,our limbs and his dislocated
dislocation.
Break breakage.
No, we're good.
We're good.
Check, check, check.
Okay, now I'll hug you.
And they had been, yeah, theywere boxing.
Robin (08:52):
And he came down and he was saying, my liver.
My liver.
Nicole (08:55):
Oh yeah.
He was like, I took a liverpunch.
I took a liv or a shot to theliver.
I took a shot to the liver.
It was like, what?
What an unexpected,
Robin (09:02):
you know, gift of not only Yeah, motherhood, but then
that wrestling can offer ananatomy lesson, you know, I
mean, there's, there's silver.
Silver lining.
Yes.
Know what I really appreciatehearing you say I too about
motherhood is that you.
Knew as you were stepping intobeing a stepparent, that you
didn't get everything right, butthen that you were learning and
(09:23):
growing.
Mm-hmm.
And to me that is a testament towhat an incredible mother and an
incredible human you are, thatyou lead with that humility of
being able to own when you messup.
Mm-hmm.
And navigating how you can growfrom it.
Mm-hmm.
You know, I feel like I havebeen forced into that because of
(09:48):
the amount of trauma that I havedealt with.
And you know, for me, motherhoodha though I didn't really have
expectations, I really did notexpect the level of healing that
I would embark on because ofbeing a mother and.
(10:10):
Your husband's laser focus onhis daughter.
That's how I feel that laserfocus on my child has then
extended for me to be able tosee that in order to be the
mother that she deserves, I alsohave had to tend to and mother
myself.
Nicole (10:29):
Mm-hmm.
Robin (10:31):
And in that process, I have relentlessly sought out.
Support and I quickly learnedthat, you know, Googling an
answer wasn't going to besufficient.
So like when, right after shewas born, I had the privilege of
being able to get into a newmama group, and I'm still
friends with some of those momstoday.
(10:52):
We all had babies that werewithin like.
Two or three weeks of eachother.
And then from there, there werelike early childhood family
education programs that were puton by, um, by, you know, our
local school districts.
And then there was a MOPS groupthat I was part of mm-hmm.
With, with the church that I wasgoing to at the time.
And then there has, there was alittle bit of a gap there.
(11:16):
A little gap as my daughter wasgetting older and it has felt.
For me with motherhood that I ammy best when I'm surrounded by
others.
And you've been part of that,knowing that others are going
through life and that they aremessing up and then making it
(11:37):
work while also trying to growand navigate all that is.
That's another unexpected giftthat I did not see and wasn't on
my radar that I would need thisvillage need to create it.
Nicole (11:50):
Mm-hmm.
In
Robin (11:51):
so many different ways.
Nicole (11:52):
I think that, I mean, you just naturally said,
essentially what my mission isthat she got a little older and
there's not, we're not meetingin support groups anymore.
As our kids get older, we, whenwe, when our kids transition to
adolescents and teens and youngadults, that community.
Kind of dissolves, that supportkind of dissolves because their
(12:13):
issues are so big and personal,you can't share them in the same
way.
And so often our struggles areinfluenced by their struggles.
So how do we share our struggleswith other moms to gain their
wisdom and support and like youand I keep saying to feel seen
and that connection, and I feelthat's what.
Has helped birth to this podcastis that we want, like we are
(12:36):
gonna be your virtual village.
Like we're not gathering in yourliving room, but we kind of are
with virtually play us in yourcar so that you can feel what we
wanna hear your feedback, emailus in comment, whatever.
Because we want you to feel seenand supported in the best way
that we can because it doeschange as they get older and
shifts and it shouldn't.
(12:57):
And we need to figure out how tocreate that so you can still
have that support.
Robin (13:01):
Well, and what I appreciate too is not only does
it become so complex becausethey have their own identity and
it's navigating what is actuallymine to share that Right.
And what is theirs to keep astheirs, what's their story.
But we're busy.
I mean, I'm, I, I neveranticipated spending so much
time in my car.
Oof.
(13:21):
Oof.
Yeah.
And so that's where I'm alwayslooking for different things
that are gonna keep me inalignment with, um, with my
highest vibe self as I like totalk and, you know, my more woo
talk.
Yeah.
'cause if I pop on the news orsomething else that gets me
dysregulated, I'm not showing upas the best mother that I need
(13:42):
to be.
And part of for me, ofmotherhood is.
Really embracing the humannessthat is of my child, but also
myself.
So figuring out how to createthose spaces, and that's what
we're trying to offer otherwomen, other mothers who are
navigating all of the carpoollines and
Nicole (14:01):
so many drop offs.
Take out
Robin (14:03):
all of it.
All of it.
Uhhuh.
Nicole (14:05):
Yeah.
Yeah.
So many.
Robin (14:07):
Thank you so much for sharing, for doing this
adventure with me, Nicole, forbeing such an essential part of
my village and us growing thisvirtual village together.
I just wanna share the bigtakeaway for today is that
motherhood is not aboutperfection.
It's about being present andknowing that you're doing better
(14:30):
than you think you are.
If you're thinking about howwell you're doing.
That is the test.
That is the test.
If you ask the question, am I agood mother lady?
You have the answer.
The answer is yes.
And that's why we need eachother to remind us of that
truth, especially on the dayswhen it's easy to forget.
So we're gonna ask you to take amoment right now to remind
(14:52):
another mom how amazing she isby sharing this episode with
her.
And hey, it's episode two.
So let's have a little bit offun and lean into that word play
and say, why don't you share itwith.
Two moms today.
Now Nicole and I are putting theheart work, get it heart work,
not just hard work into creatingthis podcast so that we can help
(15:13):
normalize the mess and embracethe miracles, but we really
can't do it without you.
So please show us and other momsout there some love by scrolling
down to the bottom of whateverplatform that you're listening
to.
And leave a quick rating orreview, especially during the
launch of a new podcast.
It really makes a difference.
It helps us show up in searchesand support more moms who need
(15:34):
this message.
You don't have to do thismotherhood thing alone.
We're here and we are sograteful that you are here to
Thank you for tuning in.
Now, you can go ahead and bingeepisode three, where we're gonna
unpack exactly what this wholemessy middle means and probably
laugh a little or a lot.
(15:54):
Along the way.
Alright, until next time.
Sending love.
Bye.
Nicole (15:58):
Bye.
Hey, before you go, we've gotsomething just for you.
We created the motherhood andthe messy middle resource vault.
It's a growing library ofsupport that's just for you.
So inside you're gonna findtools from both Nicole and my
work plus resources that wemention right here on the
podcast.
It's free, it's sent straight toyour inbox, and it's always
evolving just like you.
(16:19):
So take what you need, leave therest.
You never know when you're gonnaneed it.
Or when your group chat mightthank you for it.
So use the link in the shownotes or head to motherhood and
the messy middle.com to getaccess and welcome to your
virtual village.
What if motherhood isn't just about raising kids, but
also about raising ourselves?
The truth is motherhoodtransforms you whether you're
ready or not.
That's why we're here to talkabout the real stuff, the raw
stuff, the stuff that helps youfeel a little more seen and a
whole lot less alone.
Welcome to Motherhood in theMessy Middle, where two moms
(00:23):
who've never met in person, butshare a soul level friendship.
We're holding the space for thedeeper questions and the
conversations that most of usaren't having.
Let's get into it.
Welcome to motherhood and theMessy Middle where grade school
meets grown kids.
Hot flashes meet holy fire, andno topic is too messy for this
(00:46):
village.
I'm Robin.
One half of the voice behindthis podcast.
Nicole and I are two moms whoslid into each other's dms and
built a virtual village where weare inviting you in into our
honest, healing, and oftenhilarious conversations.
Help you feel not so alone.
In the beautiful chaos ofmotherhood and midlife, we talk
(01:08):
about what it really means tomother to grow, to fall apart
and rebuild spiritually,emotionally, hormonally, and
sometimes all before breakfast.
So whether you're in the thickof motherhood, facing
perimenopause, praying hard, orjust tired of pretending, you're
fine.
This face is for you.
Let's dive in.
(01:31):
Well, hello, Nicole.
Hey, now that we dropped ourfirst episode that introduces
this podcast and a little bitabout ourselves, let's get
straight to the heart of it.
Motherhood.
Nicole (01:43):
Yay.
Now.
Robin (01:45):
I'm not here for the Pinterest perfect curated feed
version.
I have enough of that when I'msocial scrolling.
So let's talk about the realdeal.
And you know, I'm talking likelaundry piles, braless pickup
lines.
Yep.
Losing our cool, even the latenight tears of worry.
All of that is also alongsidethe belly breaking laughter and
(02:09):
the hearts that feel likethey're just gonna burst with
love.
So I wanna start by asking youthis question.
What did you expect motherhoodto be before you became a mom?
Nicole (02:21):
To be honest, I don't think that I had any
expectations.
I think that it, I just wasraised in a culture that I just
knew that was what I was gonnado.
Like everyone around me wasmothers and that's just, I knew
I was gonna, the checkbox
Robin (02:31):
that's gonna happen.
Yeah.
Nicole (02:32):
Yeah.
Like I didn't really even thinkabout it.
I just went into it knowingthat's what it is.
Robin (02:39):
It's so powerful for me to hear that because it's the
opposite of what, what Iexperienced.
Um, so, you know, I.
Grew up in a tumultuous way.
Mm-hmm.
My parents were divorced beforeI was two years old, so I have
no memories of them beingtogether.
Um, and when my mom remarried,she married someone who was
(03:00):
domestically abusive and heended up ending her life.
Mm-hmm.
And I witnessed that tragicevent and it shaped me.
And so it shaped me in a waythat I did not understand what
motherhood.
Really was
Nicole (03:16):
right,
Robin (03:16):
and I was so blessed that I had this incredible father.
Who became my full custodyparent after my mom died, and he
had a girlfriend that became hiswife and my stepmom, but she
made it clear she never wantedto have children.
(03:36):
She loved my father and sheloved me, and she stepped into
it, but it wasn't something thatshe had any expectations of ever
becoming.
Mm-hmm.
And.
So in a way I was actuallyavoiding motherhood.
Hmm.
I.
Had this trauma that was livingin my brain that thought I was
(03:57):
gonna end up just like my mom ifI became a mother.
Right.
And it wasn't until I turned 30and had already been married for
four years, that there was likea switch that flipped in me and
it was like this primal callinglike, Robin, you, this is what
you're meant to be.
Yeah.
I had been a teacher and I just,I loved like.
(04:19):
Fearlessly, all of these otherhumans.
And all of the sudden it wassomething inside of me that just
knew, and then I struggled andit was years of infertility and
oh, the journey with that.
And then eventually I wasblessed with my beautiful baby
girl.
And then there was struggle withthat, with, uh, genetic disorder
(04:40):
diagnosis and navigating the.
The system that is healthparentheses care, and, and
through that I, I feel like, youknow, I'm a decade into
motherhood now.
My daughter's about to turn 10and I am still figuring out what
it looks like and what thatright, what I want that to look
(05:03):
like.
Nicole (05:04):
And I think that should be what we normalize.
That motherhood is al.
We're always figuring it outbecause even like you just
explained, it doesn't youweren't sure about being a
mother, but then once you weresure you were sure, but then it
probably didn't go as you hopedor expected.
'cause there was IVF and thengenetic diagnosis is, and you
just, no one anticipates thosethings and we don't prepare for
(05:26):
those things.
Our mind, our fear might let uswander there, but like when
we're dreaming, we're notdreaming of.
Those struggles.
And I think that's whatmotherhood is.
It's that messy middle offiguring out and still
navigating it as we go.
So I think you said itbeautifully and I think that
mine, even though I didn't knowwhat to expect, I think so I, I
(05:46):
have am a stepparent, and wenton to adopt her, but, so I
stepped in and my, she was threewhen my husband and I got
married and,.
No, I'm sorry.
She was three when we starteddating.
She was like five when I thinkwe got married.
I stepped into that stepparentrole really early.
I was only 21, 22.
Robin (06:05):
Oh my gosh.
You were a baby.
Nicole (06:07):
I know, I know.
I still think
Robin (06:08):
of you as a baby, just so you know.
I'm always gonna pull the agecard on you.
I
Nicole (06:13):
don't feel like I'm that much younger than you, but Well.
Robin (06:17):
42 and 39 feel like decades apart to me.
'cause they're literallydifferent decades.
That's true.
Nicole (06:24):
But I stepped into that role and I had no idea.
I didn't know what to expect.
My parents are still married tothis day.
I think they just celebrated, Ithink like 45 years of marriage.
Wow.
Yeah.
So that's that kind of nuclearfamily is what I was raised
with.
And then I stepped into thestepparent role.
My husband, his parents weredivorced, but they navigated it
(06:47):
really, really well.
And so he,
Robin (06:48):
that's such a blessing.
That's such a blessing.
Nicole (06:52):
It really helped me understand my role.
And don't get me wrong, there'ssome times that I didn't do well
and I had to learn from it, but,in my wildest dreams, I didn't
imagine starting my motherhoodjourney as a stepparent.
But I do think that it madegoing into motherhood a little
easier.
'cause I already had a glimpseof it.
We had her frequently with usand so it was like, and I'd
(07:14):
already seen, I had the gift ofseeing my husband as a dad.
That's part of falling in lovewith him was like, I got to see
how tender he was and howsupportive and he was, and how
she was the priority like.
E every decision was just laserfocused and driven by what she
needed, what was best for her.
And I got to see that.
So then it made stepping intoparenthood a little less unknown
(07:35):
for me.
Whereas, you know, most people,you're stepping in, it's your
first child together.
And so that's kind of a gift inthat sense that I got to see, I
knew what my, how my partner wasgonna show up for my kids and
for me.
'cause I got to see it firsthandfirst.
Robin (07:53):
That's a very unique, unexpected gift and really
profound that you're able toidentify it.
I'm wondering if there's anyother unexpected gifts from
motherhood that you have justbeen struck by that were not on
your radar.
Nicole (08:10):
Like all of motherhood, I feel like it's so many like
being
Robin (08:13):
a, a, being a, a wrestling referee.
Has that been a gift
Nicole (08:17):
for you?
Yeah.
It was, Marco polling Robin lastnight because my three boys,
they had been sent away to play,which is a reminder.
There were 16, 13, and 11, andthey play,
Robin (08:29):
so what means physical?
Right Wrestling?
Yes, of course.
Yes.
So my
Nicole (08:30):
11-year-old comes downstairs and sobbing, and I
can tell from his cry that it'sa hurt cry.
So I was telling Robin he camedown the stairs and before I
even comforted him, I like did aspin.
Like I'm looking for blood.
I'm lifting his arms, looking,our limbs and his dislocated
dislocation.
Break breakage.
No, we're good.
We're good.
Check, check, check.
Okay, now I'll hug you.
And they had been, yeah, theywere boxing.
Robin (08:52):
And he came down and he was saying, my liver.
My liver.
Nicole (08:55):
Oh yeah.
He was like, I took a liverpunch.
I took a liv or a shot to theliver.
I took a shot to the liver.
It was like, what?
What an unexpected,
Robin (09:02):
you know, gift of not only Yeah, motherhood, but then
that wrestling can offer ananatomy lesson, you know, I
mean, there's, there's silver.
Silver lining.
Yes.
Know what I really appreciatehearing you say I too about
motherhood is that you.
Knew as you were stepping intobeing a stepparent, that you
didn't get everything right, butthen that you were learning and
(09:23):
growing.
Mm-hmm.
And to me that is a testament towhat an incredible mother and an
incredible human you are, thatyou lead with that humility of
being able to own when you messup.
Mm-hmm.
And navigating how you can growfrom it.
Mm-hmm.
You know, I feel like I havebeen forced into that because of
(09:48):
the amount of trauma that I havedealt with.
And you know, for me, motherhoodha though I didn't really have
expectations, I really did notexpect the level of healing that
I would embark on because ofbeing a mother and.
(10:10):
Your husband's laser focus onhis daughter.
That's how I feel that laserfocus on my child has then
extended for me to be able tosee that in order to be the
mother that she deserves, I alsohave had to tend to and mother
myself.
Nicole (10:29):
Mm-hmm.
Robin (10:31):
And in that process, I have relentlessly sought out.
Support and I quickly learnedthat, you know, Googling an
answer wasn't going to besufficient.
So like when, right after shewas born, I had the privilege of
being able to get into a newmama group, and I'm still
friends with some of those momstoday.
(10:52):
We all had babies that werewithin like.
Two or three weeks of eachother.
And then from there, there werelike early childhood family
education programs that were puton by, um, by, you know, our
local school districts.
And then there was a MOPS groupthat I was part of mm-hmm.
With, with the church that I wasgoing to at the time.
And then there has, there was alittle bit of a gap there.
(11:16):
A little gap as my daughter wasgetting older and it has felt.
For me with motherhood that I ammy best when I'm surrounded by
others.
And you've been part of that,knowing that others are going
through life and that they aremessing up and then making it
(11:37):
work while also trying to growand navigate all that is.
That's another unexpected giftthat I did not see and wasn't on
my radar that I would need thisvillage need to create it.
Nicole (11:50):
Mm-hmm.
In
Robin (11:51):
so many different ways.
Nicole (11:52):
I think that, I mean, you just naturally said,
essentially what my mission isthat she got a little older and
there's not, we're not meetingin support groups anymore.
As our kids get older, we, whenwe, when our kids transition to
adolescents and teens and youngadults, that community.
Kind of dissolves, that supportkind of dissolves because their
(12:13):
issues are so big and personal,you can't share them in the same
way.
And so often our struggles areinfluenced by their struggles.
So how do we share our struggleswith other moms to gain their
wisdom and support and like youand I keep saying to feel seen
and that connection, and I feelthat's what.
Has helped birth to this podcastis that we want, like we are
(12:36):
gonna be your virtual village.
Like we're not gathering in yourliving room, but we kind of are
with virtually play us in yourcar so that you can feel what we
wanna hear your feedback, emailus in comment, whatever.
Because we want you to feel seenand supported in the best way
that we can because it doeschange as they get older and
shifts and it shouldn't.
(12:57):
And we need to figure out how tocreate that so you can still
have that support.
Robin (13:01):
Well, and what I appreciate too is not only does
it become so complex becausethey have their own identity and
it's navigating what is actuallymine to share that Right.
And what is theirs to keep astheirs, what's their story.
But we're busy.
I mean, I'm, I, I neveranticipated spending so much
time in my car.
Oof.
(13:21):
Oof.
Yeah.
And so that's where I'm alwayslooking for different things
that are gonna keep me inalignment with, um, with my
highest vibe self as I like totalk and, you know, my more woo
talk.
Yeah.
'cause if I pop on the news orsomething else that gets me
dysregulated, I'm not showing upas the best mother that I need
(13:42):
to be.
And part of for me, ofmotherhood is.
Really embracing the humannessthat is of my child, but also
myself.
So figuring out how to createthose spaces, and that's what
we're trying to offer otherwomen, other mothers who are
navigating all of the carpoollines and
Nicole (14:01):
so many drop offs.
Take out
Robin (14:03):
all of it.
All of it.
Uhhuh.
Nicole (14:05):
Yeah.
Yeah.
So many.
Robin (14:07):
Thank you so much for sharing, for doing this
adventure with me, Nicole, forbeing such an essential part of
my village and us growing thisvirtual village together.
I just wanna share the bigtakeaway for today is that
motherhood is not aboutperfection.
It's about being present andknowing that you're doing better
(14:30):
than you think you are.
If you're thinking about howwell you're doing.
That is the test.
That is the test.
If you ask the question, am I agood mother lady?
You have the answer.
The answer is yes.
And that's why we need eachother to remind us of that
truth, especially on the dayswhen it's easy to forget.
So we're gonna ask you to take amoment right now to remind
(14:52):
another mom how amazing she isby sharing this episode with
her.
And hey, it's episode two.
So let's have a little bit offun and lean into that word play
and say, why don't you share itwith.
Two moms today.
Now Nicole and I are putting theheart work, get it heart work,
not just hard work into creatingthis podcast so that we can help
(15:13):
normalize the mess and embracethe miracles, but we really
can't do it without you.
So please show us and other momsout there some love by scrolling
down to the bottom of whateverplatform that you're listening
to.
And leave a quick rating orreview, especially during the
launch of a new podcast.
It really makes a difference.
It helps us show up in searchesand support more moms who need
(15:34):
this message.
You don't have to do thismotherhood thing alone.
We're here and we are sograteful that you are here to
Thank you for tuning in.
Now, you can go ahead and bingeepisode three, where we're gonna
unpack exactly what this wholemessy middle means and probably
laugh a little or a lot.
(15:54):
Along the way.
Alright, until next time.
Sending love.
Bye.
Nicole (15:58):
Bye.
Hey, before you go, we've gotsomething just for you.
We created the motherhood andthe messy middle resource vault.
It's a growing library ofsupport that's just for you.
So inside you're gonna findtools from both Nicole and my
work plus resources that wemention right here on the
podcast.
It's free, it's sent straight toyour inbox, and it's always
evolving just like you.
(16:19):
So take what you need, leave therest.
You never know when you're gonnaneed it.
Or when your group chat mightthank you for it.
So use the link in the shownotes or head to motherhood and
the messy middle.com to getaccess and welcome to your
virtual village.
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