Is It Okay to Be Angry at Your Body? Yes — and Here’s How to Start Healing

What if your anger toward your body isn’t something to hide — but a sign that it’s finally time to start healing?

If you’ve ever felt angry at your body — for not doing what you hoped it would, for betraying your trust, or for making something as natural as motherhood feel impossibly hard — this episode is for you.

In this solo episode, Jacqueline opens up about the unspoken emotion so many women carry after infertility, loss, or complicated pregnancies: anger. She shares why that anger is valid, what it’s really trying to tell you, and how to start rebuilding trust with your body again. You’ll walk away feeling seen, understood, and reminded that healing doesn’t mean ignoring your pain — it means allowing yourself to feel it with compassion.

Key Takeaways:

💔 You’re not wrong for feeling angry. Anger toward your body isn’t shameful — it’s a natural response to loss, grief, and unmet expectations.

🌿 Anger can be a messenger. Beneath it often lies pain, fear, or sadness that needs acknowledgment and care.

🕊️ Healing starts with honesty. Rebuilding trust with your body begins when you allow yourself to feel everything — not just gratitude or positivity.

💪 You can hold both. It’s possible to love your body and be angry with it. You can be grateful and still wish things were easier.

🌻 You’re not alone. Inside Your Fertility Village, women are having these real, healing conversations every day — because no one should walk this journey alone.

Resources & Links:

💛 Join Your Fertility Village — a safe, supportive space for women navigating infertility, loss, and motherhood after trauma. Become a founding member: your-fertility-village.mn.co

👉 Follow @motherhood_intended on Instagram for daily encouragement, connection, and all podcast and village updates.

Support the show

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💛 You don’t have to do this alone. Join Your Fertility Village — a safe, supportive community for women on their fertility journey. 🌻__________________________________________________________________________________

Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:01):
Are you tired of scrolling your feed only to see
the highlight reel version ofmotherhood?
If so, then you're in the rightplace.
Welcome to the MotherhoodIntended podcast.
I'm your host, Jacqueline Baird,and I'm a passionate mom here to
support women like you in theirunique journeys to and through
motherhood.
I have been through it all.
We're gonna be talking aboutthings like trying to conceive,

(00:22):
infertility, IVF, surrogacy, momlife, and more.
It's time to get real about whatit takes to be a mom and come
together in the fact that thingsdon't always go as planned.
So here we go.
Hey friends, it's Jacqueline.
Welcome back.
Today's episode is one thatdefinitely comes straight from
the heart.
This topic has been top of mindfor me because I recently had

(00:46):
the opportunity to participatewith a local photographer in
this project that she's doing.
It's called the LuminousProject.
And this project was anincredible like portrait
experience for women of allbackgrounds and life stages.
There were 50 of us thatparticipated in this project.
It was amazing.
I mean, I got to spend time inthe studio.
I got to have my hair done, mymakeup done, but it wasn't

(01:09):
about, you know, glamming me upor turning me into someone else.
It wasn't for people who lovebeing in front of the camera.
It was especially for women whoare always behind it, right?
The ones who haven't had amoment to simply exist and just
be seen.
It was such an honor to be apart of this luminous project.
And I can't wait to share thephotos that I had taken.

(01:29):
In a couple months, there'sgoing to be this big event to
showcase the 50 women whoparticipated, including their
photos and stories.
And I'm just so proud to be apart of it all.
This project really had methinking because things like
this matter.
You know, women are holding somuch families, careers,
emotions, stories, expectations.
And like Emily, the photographerI worked with, said, you know,

(01:52):
most of the time we're doing itquietly.
We don't often get credit forthe things we carry, and even
less often do we pause toacknowledge them ourselves.
So this experience that I was apart of was meant to do just
that.
And Emily really created a spacewhere you felt safe, celebrated,
and reminded of the light thatyou've always had.
And it really had me reflectingon the last decade of my life

(02:16):
through the ups and downs ofinfertility and becoming a mom
and just, you know, the firstseven years of motherhood and
while still trying to build myfamily in all sorts of crazy
ways and navigating grief andloss and just so many things,
right?
And this was an importantmilestone for me.
Um, you know, after 10 years,our family is complete and I
finally feel like I can breatheagain and look ahead to the next

(02:40):
chapter with hope and excitementand and not so many question
marks, right?
Which is is what I hope for you.
But I want you to know that likeyou don't need a reason to be
photographed.
Okay.
You don't need a reason to feelpretty.
You are the reason.
But for so long, going throughinfertility really had me
feeling really lousy aboutmyself, um, about my body, you

(03:05):
know, it's hard to love a bodythat isn't doing what it's
supposed to, you know?
So today I want to talk aboutsomething that a lot of us don't
like to admit out loud.
And that's being angry at ourown bodies.
So if you've struggled withinfertility, experienced lost,
had a difficult pregnancy, orfelt betrayed by your body in

(03:25):
any way, chances are you feltthat quiet, painful anger too.
It's that moment when you think,Why me?
Why can other people getpregnant easily?
Why does my body keep failingme?
And then almost immediatelyguilt rushes in, right?
Because we feel like weshouldn't be mad at ourselves.
We should be grateful, we shouldbe patient, we should be

(03:47):
positive.

But here's the truth (03:48):
you are allowed to be angry.
You're allowed to feel every bitof that frustration and
disappointment because your bodyhas carried you through so much.
And sometimes the way it's hadto do that hurts.
So I just want you to know thatit's important, just name that
anger, right?
Don't pretend it's not there.
I went through this.

(04:08):
I was so angry at my body.
You know, it was hard to take.
I look back at even, you know,pictures I was in during that
difficult time, and I can see itin my eyes.
I was just, there's no pride,there's no confidence, just this
heaviness of medications andanger and feeling like I'm

(04:29):
crawling out of my own skinbecause I don't recognize myself
anymore.
And I don't just meanphysically, I just mean like
internally, like I didn't feellike who I was for such a long
time.
But it's okay to be angry.
Anger isn't the opposite ofacceptance.
Okay, it's actually part of theprocess of getting there.
So when we don't let ourselvesfeel angry, it doesn't

(04:51):
disappear.
It just turns inward.
And that becomes shame,resentment, self-blame.
It makes us question our worth,our womanhood, our ability to
trust ourselves again.
So today I want to give youpermission, full unconditional
permission to be angry at yourbody without apology.

(05:13):
Because when we name it, westart to release it.
That anger doesn't come fromweakness either.
Okay, it comes from grief.
Grief for what your body haslost, grief for what you
expected to happen and didn't,grief for the version of you
that believed your body wouldalways cooperate.
I was always a pretty confidentperson.

(05:35):
I was proud of who I was insideand out.
And when you were knocked downby infertility, which truly
feels like a rug is being pulledfrom underneath you, especially
when it's a long journey andthings just one thing after
another, right?
You can't get pregnant, then youget pregnant, then you lose a
pregnancy, then you have anearly.
I mean, it was a lot.

(05:57):
And maybe your story includesendless negative pregnancy
tests, miscarriage, IVF cyclesthat didn't work, or a pregnancy
that didn't end the way youhoped.
Or maybe you can relate to partof my story in surrogacy where
your body just couldn't.
Just couldn't.
You were at the end of the lineand your body cannot carry a
pregnancy yourself.

(06:18):
Each of those moments just chipsaway at trust.
And when trust is broken, evenwith our own bodies, it takes
time to rebuild.
But here's the thing anger isn'tthe villain, okay?
It's a messenger.
It's your body saying, Hey, I'mhurting.
I need to be seen.
Instead of suppressing thatanger, try listening to it.

(06:40):
You can ask yourself, like, whatis this anger trying to protect
me from?
What pain is it pointing to thatI haven't fully acknowledged?
What part of me needs compassionright now?
Because beneath anger, there'salways something tender,
something that still needshealing.
And I know that's hard to seewhen you are in the thick of it
and trying to create a family.

(07:02):
But I want you to alwaysremember that like you have to
take care of yourself first.
And healing your relationshipwith your body isn't about
pretending everything's fine.
It's about learning to say, Isee you and I'm still here.
Start small.
Notice what your body can do.
Not in like a toxic positivityway, but in a gentle recognition

(07:23):
of the ways it's still showingup for you.
You know, your body carried youthrough appointments,
injections, surgery, loss,heartbreak.
It's carried your tears, yourhope, your exhaustion, your
resilience.
It might not have given youeverything you wanted on your
timeline, but it's still yoursand it's still worthy of love.

(07:44):
So if you're listening right nowand you feel like your body
betrayed you, I want you toknow, as always, you're not
alone.
Every woman who's walked throughinfertility or loss has felt
that same mix of anger, sadness,and guilt.
I'll be the first to tell youthat it takes time to heal.
And it's not a linear patheither.

(08:04):
You know, you will go throughseasons of really caring for
yourself and building yourselfup, and then you will just fall
and you might feel that angercreeping up again at your own
body, but there is light at theend of the tunnel and your body
is yours.
And I want you to remember allthe good things that it can do
for you.
Again, might not be what youexpected, might not be in your

(08:26):
own timeline, but you are worthyof loving yourself, and that
includes your body.
So you don't have to push itdown anymore.
You can hold both truths atonce.
You can love your body and stillbe angry with it.
You can be grateful for yourjourney and still wish it had
been easier.
You can be healing and stillhave hard days.
That's what real self-compassionlooks like.

(08:48):
I know myself, I used to have ahard time when people would say,
Oh my gosh, you're so strong.
You're so strong.
And I'm like, I don't alwaysfeel that way.
I don't feel that way inside.
And even on the days that I didfeel strong and like an
infertility warrior, I'm not afan of that phrase, to be
honest.
Yes, we are strong.

(09:08):
Um, we are put through a lot,but none of us chose that.
It's not something I was like,you know what?
I'm a badass and I'm gonna justrock infertility.
That's not it at all.
You know, I just felt like I hadto be strong because I had to be
strong.
But what I wish I would havedone more of along the way is

(09:28):
not try to be so strong all thetime.
You know, I just wish sometimesI would take a pause and just
love myself for who I am, lovemy body for what it is outside
of what it does for me inrelation to fertility.
So if this episode resonatedwith you, or if you're in a
season of learning to reconnectwith your body, I want to remind

(09:50):
you that you don't have to do italone.
I say this every week, but it'sbecause it's so important.
I don't want you to feelisolated in these experiences
because there are so many womenwalking the same path that you
are.
And even when you feel reallydown on yourself and you're
you're angry at your body andyou're you don't know what's
next, there is someone therethat can help pick you up,

(10:12):
someone that really gets it.
And inside your fertilityvillage, we talk about this kind
of healing all the time.
The messy, beautiful, emotionalparts of the journey that most
people don't understand.
It's not often you're scrollingInstagram and seeing a reel
about, you know, being angry atyour own body.
That's the highlight reel.
And that's not what we're doinginside your fertility village.

(10:34):
We're having real, honestconversations.
We're taking the things that Ishare on the podcast and giving
you the people who are livingthem, walking these paths
alongside you, and thenproviding you the resources to
dive in deep and truly make yourjourney a beautiful journey that
you can be proud of.
You don't have to feel alone ordepressed or stuck in this

(10:54):
season of life.
You can gracefully walk throughit with women by your side.
Right now, I'm acceptingfounding members.
It's an honor to welcome in thefirst members of this village.
You will be on the ground floorhelping me build this community,
giving input as to what youneed.
And the best part is yourmembership fee is just$7 a

(11:16):
month.
And that's something that youlock in for life.
We were always going to beadding resources.
The community is going to begrowing, adding so many women,
so many events.
And the best part is, isregardless of the value that is
added, you will always only pay$7 a month.
Now we're accepting foundingmembers from now until the end
of the year.
In the new year, the price willincrease and there will no

(11:38):
longer be founding member badgesgiven out.
So take this opportunity.
And I hope you know that thiscommunity means so much to me
and the vision I have for it isbig.
And I want it to be a space thatgrows with you.
So even when you bring home thatbaby, even when you are past
that stage of IVF or loss orfertility and the smoke has

(12:00):
cleared and you're inmotherhood, you will still have
a village of people that getwhat you've been through.
Because I can say firsthand thatbeing a mom after infertility
and loss and trauma and so muchthat goes along with the whole
experience, it's different.
It's different than being a momwho hasn't gone through that.
So I want to make sure that inevery stage, you have your

(12:22):
people, you have your village.
So click the link in the shownotes to join as a founding
member.
You can also follow along onInstagram at motherhood
underscore intended, and that'swhere I will be updating all
things, podcast and village, andeverything is linked there as
well.
Thank you for listening, forshowing up, and for giving
yourself permission to feeleverything that motherhood in

(12:43):
all its form brings.
I hope this was a gentlereminder too that you should get
in front of the camera, even inthe hard seasons.
It was such a joyful experiencebeing a part of the Luminous
Project, and I can't wait toshare those photos with you
soon.
You know, capturing yourself inevery season is just a beautiful
thing.
And when you are a mom or whenyou are on the other side of

(13:07):
infertility, you will cherishthese moments of when you felt
seen, you felt beautiful,regardless of what's going on in
your life right now.
So that's your reminder.
Get in front of the camera.
And if you're local to theChicagoland area, definitely
check out Emily Cummings.
She is doing another round ofthe Luminous Project for next

(13:28):
year, and she's alreadyaccepting people on the wait
list for that.
So check it out.
It was an amazing experience,and you'll see photos from that
soon.
Remember, you deservegentleness, healing, and peace
with your body again.