October 17, 2025 • 19 mins
Insurance and infertility are two words that rarely bring comfort, but understanding how to navigate your coverage can change everything about your experience.
In this episode of Motherhood Intended, Jacqueline shares her best guidance for reading your policy, asking smart questions, and knowing your rights when it comes to fertility care. She explains what “infertility coverage” really means, how to check if your clinic is in-network, and why employer fertility benefit programs could be a game changer. You’ll also learn how to have honest money talks with your partner so financial stress doesn’t take over your journey.
This episode is equal parts practical and heartfelt. Jacqueline reminds listeners that while fertility insurance can feel overwhelming, you are more capable than you think. With preparation, persistence, and a little advocacy, you can find clarity, save money, and feel more in control of your path to motherhood.
What you will learn:
- How to review your insurance plan for fertility coverage and common exclusions
- How to advocate for coverage and explore employer fertility benefit programs
- Ways to approach financial planning and set realistic expectations with your partner
- How to save money on medications and self-pay packages while reducing stress
Links mentioned:
- National Infertility Association: Resolve.org
- Women’s health & family building benefits: Progyny & Maven
- Support for Metabolic-Fertility care: Carrot Fertility
✨ Free Resource for You ✨
Want to feel more confident and prepared at your next doctor’s appointment? I created a simple, one-page tool just for you 👉 Grab your free copy here!
Connect beyond the podcast:
Help give the absolute greatest gift to deserving intended parents and learn more about becoming a surrogate (plus earn up to $650 for taking the first few simple steps)!
__________________________________________________________________________________
💛 You don’t have to do this alone. Join Your Fertility Village — a safe, supportive community for women on their fertility journey. 🌻__________________________________________________________________________________
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Are you tired of scrolling your feed only to see
the highlight reel version ofmotherhood?
If so, then you're in the rightplace.
Welcome to the MotherhoodIntended Podcast.
I'm your host, Jacqueline Baird,and I'm a passionate mom here to
support women like you in theirunique journeys to and through
motherhood.
I have been through it all.
We're gonna be talking aboutthings like trying to conceive,
(00:21):
infertility, IVF, surrogacy, momlife, and more.
It's time to get real about whatit takes to be a mom and come
together in the fact that thingsdon't always go as planned.
So here we go.
Hey, it's Jacqueline.
Welcome back to MotherhoodIntended.
If you're in the middle of yourfertility journey, you already
know the emotional rollercoaster is real.
(00:42):
But today we're gonna talk aboutanother part of the journey that
can feel equally confusing andoverwhelming.
And that's navigating insurancecoverage for fertility
treatments.
Because let's be honest,figuring out what's covered,
what's not, and how to actuallymake sense of it all can feel
like learning a new language.
So in this episode, I'm breakingit down.
(01:04):
We'll talk about what to lookfor in your policy, what
questions to ask, how toadvocate for coverage, how to
have the hard financialconversations with your partner,
and some tips that could saveyou money, time, and stress.
And before we dive in, if you'rein this season of trying to
conceive or exploring fertilitytreatment options, don't forget
(01:25):
to join our community, yourfertility village.
We're currently acceptingfounding members and you can
earn that badge and lock in alifetime membership rate of only
$7 a month through the end ofthe year.
After that, founding membermemberships will close and it
will open to the rest of thepublic at a higher price in the
new year.
So join while you can and lockin that awesome rate.
(01:48):
Plus, you can help build thiscommunity from the ground up.
And there will be so manyawesome perks for founding
members who are there from thejump.
Your Fertility Village is a safespace where you can get
guidance, support, andconnection every step of the
way.
You can learn more at your dashfertility-village.mn.co or
(02:10):
through the link in the shownotes.
All right, let's get into it.
So understanding what's covered.
When it comes to insurance andfertility, one of the first
things I want you to know isthis coverage varies
drastically.
I mean, it depends on yourstate, your employer, and your
specific plan.
So some states have mandatedfertility coverage laws, meaning
(02:32):
employers are required toprovide certain benefits, things
like diagnostic testing, IUI, oreven IVF.
But in other states, there's nomandate at all.
And it's entirely up to youremployer or insurer to decide.
So if you're unsure, start bychecking whether your state has
a fertility mandate.
You can look this up onresolve.org.
(02:55):
That's the National InfertilityAssociation's website, and they
keep an updated list of whichstates require coverage and
what's included.
The next thing you should do isrequest a summary of benefits
from your insurance provider.
And you'll want to look forspecific terms like infertility
diagnosis and treatment,assisted reproductive
(03:16):
technology, also known as art,IVF coverage, cryopreservation,
or embryo storage.
Even small words matter becausesome plans will cover like
diagnosis of infertility, butnot treatment of infertility.
It's a fun game, I know, butit's really important to read
these things carefully so youknow what exactly is covered.
(03:39):
Once you've reviewed yourpolicy, reach out directly to
your insurance company.
Trust me, I know it's not fun.
And being on the phone or beingon hold or trying to discuss all
this with an insurance companyis definitely not top of the old
to-do list or ranked as fun.
But trust me, it is worth it.
So here are a few key questionsto ask when you call them up.
(04:03):
Number one, what fertilityservices are covered under my
plan?
Two, do I need a referral orprior authorization before
treatment?
Three, is there a lifetime orper cycle limit on fertility
coverage?
Four, does my plan covermedications, labs, ultrasounds,
(04:23):
or genetic testing?
Five, are donor eggs, sperm, orgestational carrier services
included?
And then lastly, what aboutembryo storage?
Is that covered?
And if so, for how long?
So some of these questions mightnot even be on your radar right
now, you know, things like donoreggs or surrogacy.
(04:44):
Maybe you're at the beginning ofyour fertility journey or, you
know, you're just kind of seeingwhat is available to you with
your insurance.
Make sure you ask all of thesequestions anyway, because take
it from me, you just never knowwhere your fertility journey
will take you.
Never in my wildest dreams did Ithink that we would pursue
surrogacy.
I never thought that my bodywould not be able to carry a
(05:06):
pregnancy.
At the beginning of our journey,I didn't even think IVF was
needed.
You know, we started withtesting and IUIs and
medications.
Lo and behold, things like IVFand gestational carrier services
and embryo storage all came intoplay.
And so it's just reallyimportant just to have a good
idea of what's covered in theevent that one of these things
(05:29):
becomes part of your story.
And here's a big one (05:30):
ask if your clinic is in network,
because some fertility centershave their own financial
counselors who can help younavigate the insurance side.
And honestly, they are worththeir weight in gold.
Anyone who is willing to helpyou out with this, especially
someone who already is a part ofyour clinic, is going to be so
useful.
Okay, on the flip side, I wantyou to know how to advocate
(05:54):
yourself for yourself in theevent that, you know, your plan
doesn't include fertilitycoverage.
And if your plan doesn't includethis kind of coverage, don't
lose hope.
Okay.
There are still ways to advocatefor yourself.
The first thing you can do, youcan talk to your HR department.
Maybe it's your HR department,maybe it's your husband's,
whatever it is, talk to your HRdepartment.
(06:16):
Especially if you work for likea medium or large company.
Sometimes employers can addfertility coverage at renewal if
employees express enoughinterest.
So don't be afraid to do that.
All you can do is ask if it ifit's turned down fine, but at
least you know, okay, don't beafraid to ask for what you need.
And use open enrollment wisely.
(06:38):
Each year, make sure to reviewyour options.
Sometimes one plan may coverdiagnostic testing or meds, even
if others don't.
There was a year I know for myhusband and I when like we
started infertility testing andcertain things were not covered.
And within a year or two, oursame insurance company was
offering that on our same plan.
(07:00):
So make sure just like everyyear review what's being offered
and what your options are.
And be sure to explore employerfertility benefit programs.
These are programs like Progeny,Carrot Fertility, or Maven.
These are add-on programs thatsome companies offer that can
give you access to coverage,even if it's not through your
(07:21):
traditional insurance.
So this is not something thatwas on my radar back in the day,
back in the day.
I think we were going throughthis.
It was about 2015 when westarted, yeah, about 10 years
ago, when we started with, youknow, infertility testing and
diving into all of that.
And I had no idea to look inabout looking into fertility
(07:42):
benefit programs.
Maybe they existed, maybe theydidn't back then, but it's
definitely a thing now.
So check and see if your companyhas the opportunity to add on
those programs.
And if you're paying out ofpocket, ask your clinic about
self-pay packages, medicationdiscounts, or refund programs.
And some for pharmacies evenprice match fertility
(08:03):
medications, which can make abig difference.
I definitely took advantage ofthis because when we went
through IVF, we were paying outof pocket.
It was not covered by myinsurance at the time.
And honestly, I'd be curiouswhat the company does now.
It's a big tech company, andthis was 10 years ago.
And I think my insurance coveredthree or four.
(08:25):
I think it covered four IUIs ina year.
It covered initial diagnostictesting and monitoring, but it
that's all it covered.
So you couldn't do more thanfour IUIs in a calendar year.
And then it did not cover anypart of IVF.
I would hope that it does now,10 years later.
I mean, I know a lot morecompanies are getting on board,
but we've still got a lot ofwork to do in the support of
(08:48):
infertility treatments.
So yeah, definitely getcreative.
See about self-pay packages.
That's what we did.
Medication discounts, we didthat as well, and that helped.
And then there's often refundprograms too.
So just check around and see ifand when and where you can save
money because every little bitwill help.
(09:11):
Okay, let's shift gears for amoment and talk about the
financial conversations thatcome with all of this.
Because it's not just having aconversation with your insurance
company or your the company youwork for.
And it's not just about whatinsurance covers, right?
It's about what you and yourpartner can handle both
(09:32):
emotionally and financially as ateam.
Now, take it from me, thesediscussions can get
uncomfortable fast.
I mean, money's never fun totalk about, especially when
you've both have been navigatingdisappointment, hope, and the
stress of trying to conceive.
But I've learned that honestcommunication early on can save
(09:52):
you so much tension later.
Um, depending on how long yourinfertility journey ends up
being, you know, some people,some people have a little bump
in the road, others spend yearstrying to create their family.
And let me tell you, it can alot of these different piece
moving parts of infertility canhave a toll on your marriage.
(10:12):
Um, and the financial piece ofit is one of those big things.
So have these honestconversations early on so you
can save yourself from all thetension later.
So here are a few things thatcan help.
Set a shared budget from thestart.
Okay.
Decide together how much you'rerealistically able and willing
(10:34):
to spend on treatments, travel,medications, or storage fees.
It's okay if that number changeslater, but at least like have a
baseline so it'll help groundyour decisions.
And the important thing here iswhat you're realistically able
to spend and willing to spend,because this is where maybe you
(10:56):
and your partner might not seeeye to eye.
So just have a conversationabout it and talk about your
emotional limits, right?
Not just financial ones.
You can ask each other, youknow, how many cycles do we feel
emotionally capable of tryingbefore taking a break or
exploring another path?
Obviously, you don't know forsure until you're in it, but
(11:16):
just kind of getting a feel foreach other's like baselines and
where you're comfortable goingin high, like in theory, this
will keep the conversationabout, you know, your overall
well-being, not just your bankaccount.
I know this was a big triggerfor me when we were going
through fertility treatments andfiguring out how to safely grow
our family and you know,eventually going on to surrogacy
(11:39):
is I would get so triggered whenit would come down to just
money.
Because to me, as somebody whohas just dreamt of this family
and has worked so hard and hasbeen through so much loss and
struggle and treatment and justall these things over the years
to try and complete our family.
To me, the financial piece wassimple.
It was either we could do itfinancially or we have to find
(12:02):
another way.
Like I would not take no for ananswer, but I also was not
thinking about, you know, theemotional limits of the
financial piece because it cancreate more stress.
It can create an, you know, adifferent dynamic within your
marriage.
And there are just so manymoving parts other than like the
numbers on paper.
(12:22):
Okay.
So make sure you're thinking bigpicture.
Another thing that would help isto divide the mental load of it
all.
So maybe one of you handles thecalls to insurance and the other
handles pharmacy coordination orbilling.
It'll help both partners stayinvolved and invested because if
the other person isn'tunderstanding everything that
(12:44):
goes into figuring all of thisout and just knowing the ins and
outs of insurance and optionsand everything, it might be hard
for the other partner tounderstand, A, how this is
taking a toll on you mentally,or B, just what those options
even are and what's possible andwhat's not.
So by splitting, you know, kindof dividing this mental load,
you'll both stay involved,you'll both be invested in this
(13:07):
common goal of figuring out howto financially support your
journey.
And lastly, I want to suggestthat you be transparent with
your partner about your fears.
I also, this is a good time tomention to you.
I keep saying partner, but likeif you are on a path as a single
(13:28):
mom by choice, find someone thatyou can talk to.
You don't have to talk about theins and outs of costs and your
finances and everything, but itis a big part of the journey
that can weigh on you.
So find somebody that you trustto talk this through with and
just someone that you can beopus and open and honest with
about your fears surrounding thefinancial piece of fertility.
(13:50):
It's completely normal for onepartner to feel anxious about
the cost while the other feelsdesperate to keep trying.
So give each other space toexpress that without judgment.
Okay.
By default, I mean, you and yourpartner are two different
people.
You are experiencing the wholejourney in two different ways.
(14:11):
And that's why it's important toleave space for each other to
express however you're feelingwithout judgment.
This was a hard one for us atone point because, yeah, one of
us, my husband, was feeling moreanxious about the cost, and I
was feeling more desperate tokeep trying and just keep pursue
(14:31):
this dream that we had.
And truthfully, I at some pointsI was willing to do it at any
cost.
It wasn't until after we hadsome children at home, our boys,
and we're going to pursuefurther that I started to look
through things differently andreally see what my husband's
point of view was as far as likeit's the big picture.
(14:52):
You know, we have two kids we'retaking care of.
We have a house, we have jobs.
I had become a stay-at-home mom.
You know, the dynamics ofeverything had changed.
And so it's really importantjust to be open and honest and
look about the think about thebig picture when you are looking
at this financial piece.
And just know for both of you,like go into it as a couple,
(15:12):
knowing that these things canchange.
It's awesome that you're talkingabout it, but you know, your
emotional limits might change.
You might decide that originallythat you both want to do X
amount of cycles beforeexploring another path.
And it might be less.
It might, you don't know whatthe future holds, but it's good
to just kind of remotely be onthe same page so there aren't
(15:34):
any surprises and you can beopen and honest about your
feelings.
And if this all feels like waytoo much to navigate alone,
financial counseling throughyour clinic or even couples
therapy can be a really safespace to have these discussions.
Your team and how you handle themoney conversations now can
(15:54):
definitely strengthen that bondthrough every step ahead.
These financial and emotionalpieces of the fertility
treatment that we are talkingabout are very real.
I've been there and I knowfirsthand how heavy this part
can feel.
Whether you're facing bills forblood work or ultrasounds and
medications before you've evengotten a positive pregnancy
(16:16):
test, it's a lot.
And it's not just financial,it's emotional, right?
It can make you feel like yourfamily is being held hostage by
insurance codes.
But please remember your worth,your path to motherhood, your
story is not defined by a lineitem on a policy.
Okay.
If you've ever, if you'relistening and you've ever had to
(16:39):
make the heartbreaking choicebetween another cycle or saving
your marriage, your sanity, oryour savings account, I see you.
And trust me when I say you arenot alone in that.
Here is the truth.
Navigating insurance forfertility treatments can be
complicated, but you are morecapable than you think.
(17:00):
Every time you call an insurancerep, every time you ask another
question or push for clarity,you're advocating not just for
yourself, but for the womencoming after you.
The more we talk about this, themore employers, lawmakers, and
insurers start to see thatfertility care is not elective.
It is essential health care.
(17:20):
So if you take anything fromtoday's episode, let it be this.
You deserve support financially,emotionally, and medically on
your path to motherhood.
If you found this episodehelpful, share it with someone
else who's navigating thisconfusing insurance maze.
You never know who might need tohear that they're not alone in
(17:41):
this.
And if you want more guidance,tips, and community, come join
us inside your fertilityvillage.
You'll find conversations,expert advice, and women who
truly get it.
I would absolutely love to haveyou as a founding member in your
fertility village.
It is a space near and dear tomy heart, and I am so excited to
be launching it.
And as a founding member, now ifyou join now through the end of
(18:04):
the year, you get a specialfounding member badge.
You lock in the best price thismembership will ever be at,
which is only$7 a month.
And that'll be your costforever.
The value is going to increase.
What we offer is going tocontinue to increase, but you
will always have a membershipfee of only$7.
So I would love to have you onthe ground floor helping me
(18:25):
build this village.
You can find the link in theshow notes or visit
your-fertility-village.mo.co.
And before you go, I alsocreated a free doctor's
appointment guide to help youfeel more confident and prepared
for your next fertility visit.
So it includes the exactquestions to ask your doctor, a
(18:46):
space to take notes, and then afew gentle reminders for
protecting your peace along theway.
You can grab it for free usingthe link in the show notes or
visit motherhoodintended.kit.comslash freebie.
Thanks for tuning in today.
As always, I'm sending love,light, and strength to you
wherever you are on yourjourney.
And I'll talk to you next timeon Motherhood Intended.
Are you tired of scrolling your feed only to see
the highlight reel version ofmotherhood?
If so, then you're in the rightplace.
Welcome to the MotherhoodIntended Podcast.
I'm your host, Jacqueline Baird,and I'm a passionate mom here to
support women like you in theirunique journeys to and through
motherhood.
I have been through it all.
We're gonna be talking aboutthings like trying to conceive,
(00:21):
infertility, IVF, surrogacy, momlife, and more.
It's time to get real about whatit takes to be a mom and come
together in the fact that thingsdon't always go as planned.
So here we go.
Hey, it's Jacqueline.
Welcome back to MotherhoodIntended.
If you're in the middle of yourfertility journey, you already
know the emotional rollercoaster is real.
(00:42):
But today we're gonna talk aboutanother part of the journey that
can feel equally confusing andoverwhelming.
And that's navigating insurancecoverage for fertility
treatments.
Because let's be honest,figuring out what's covered,
what's not, and how to actuallymake sense of it all can feel
like learning a new language.
So in this episode, I'm breakingit down.
(01:04):
We'll talk about what to lookfor in your policy, what
questions to ask, how toadvocate for coverage, how to
have the hard financialconversations with your partner,
and some tips that could saveyou money, time, and stress.
And before we dive in, if you'rein this season of trying to
conceive or exploring fertilitytreatment options, don't forget
(01:25):
to join our community, yourfertility village.
We're currently acceptingfounding members and you can
earn that badge and lock in alifetime membership rate of only
$7 a month through the end ofthe year.
After that, founding membermemberships will close and it
will open to the rest of thepublic at a higher price in the
new year.
So join while you can and lockin that awesome rate.
(01:48):
Plus, you can help build thiscommunity from the ground up.
And there will be so manyawesome perks for founding
members who are there from thejump.
Your Fertility Village is a safespace where you can get
guidance, support, andconnection every step of the
way.
You can learn more at your dashfertility-village.mn.co or
(02:10):
through the link in the shownotes.
All right, let's get into it.
So understanding what's covered.
When it comes to insurance andfertility, one of the first
things I want you to know isthis coverage varies
drastically.
I mean, it depends on yourstate, your employer, and your
specific plan.
So some states have mandatedfertility coverage laws, meaning
(02:32):
employers are required toprovide certain benefits, things
like diagnostic testing, IUI, oreven IVF.
But in other states, there's nomandate at all.
And it's entirely up to youremployer or insurer to decide.
So if you're unsure, start bychecking whether your state has
a fertility mandate.
You can look this up onresolve.org.
(02:55):
That's the National InfertilityAssociation's website, and they
keep an updated list of whichstates require coverage and
what's included.
The next thing you should do isrequest a summary of benefits
from your insurance provider.
And you'll want to look forspecific terms like infertility
diagnosis and treatment,assisted reproductive
(03:16):
technology, also known as art,IVF coverage, cryopreservation,
or embryo storage.
Even small words matter becausesome plans will cover like
diagnosis of infertility, butnot treatment of infertility.
It's a fun game, I know, butit's really important to read
these things carefully so youknow what exactly is covered.
(03:39):
Once you've reviewed yourpolicy, reach out directly to
your insurance company.
Trust me, I know it's not fun.
And being on the phone or beingon hold or trying to discuss all
this with an insurance companyis definitely not top of the old
to-do list or ranked as fun.
But trust me, it is worth it.
So here are a few key questionsto ask when you call them up.
(04:03):
Number one, what fertilityservices are covered under my
plan?
Two, do I need a referral orprior authorization before
treatment?
Three, is there a lifetime orper cycle limit on fertility
coverage?
Four, does my plan covermedications, labs, ultrasounds,
(04:23):
or genetic testing?
Five, are donor eggs, sperm, orgestational carrier services
included?
And then lastly, what aboutembryo storage?
Is that covered?
And if so, for how long?
So some of these questions mightnot even be on your radar right
now, you know, things like donoreggs or surrogacy.
(04:44):
Maybe you're at the beginning ofyour fertility journey or, you
know, you're just kind of seeingwhat is available to you with
your insurance.
Make sure you ask all of thesequestions anyway, because take
it from me, you just never knowwhere your fertility journey
will take you.
Never in my wildest dreams did Ithink that we would pursue
surrogacy.
I never thought that my bodywould not be able to carry a
(05:06):
pregnancy.
At the beginning of our journey,I didn't even think IVF was
needed.
You know, we started withtesting and IUIs and
medications.
Lo and behold, things like IVFand gestational carrier services
and embryo storage all came intoplay.
And so it's just reallyimportant just to have a good
idea of what's covered in theevent that one of these things
(05:29):
becomes part of your story.
And here's a big one (05:30):
ask if your clinic is in network,
because some fertility centershave their own financial
counselors who can help younavigate the insurance side.
And honestly, they are worththeir weight in gold.
Anyone who is willing to helpyou out with this, especially
someone who already is a part ofyour clinic, is going to be so
useful.
Okay, on the flip side, I wantyou to know how to advocate
(05:54):
yourself for yourself in theevent that, you know, your plan
doesn't include fertilitycoverage.
And if your plan doesn't includethis kind of coverage, don't
lose hope.
Okay.
There are still ways to advocatefor yourself.
The first thing you can do, youcan talk to your HR department.
Maybe it's your HR department,maybe it's your husband's,
whatever it is, talk to your HRdepartment.
(06:16):
Especially if you work for likea medium or large company.
Sometimes employers can addfertility coverage at renewal if
employees express enoughinterest.
So don't be afraid to do that.
All you can do is ask if it ifit's turned down fine, but at
least you know, okay, don't beafraid to ask for what you need.
And use open enrollment wisely.
(06:38):
Each year, make sure to reviewyour options.
Sometimes one plan may coverdiagnostic testing or meds, even
if others don't.
There was a year I know for myhusband and I when like we
started infertility testing andcertain things were not covered.
And within a year or two, oursame insurance company was
offering that on our same plan.
(07:00):
So make sure just like everyyear review what's being offered
and what your options are.
And be sure to explore employerfertility benefit programs.
These are programs like Progeny,Carrot Fertility, or Maven.
These are add-on programs thatsome companies offer that can
give you access to coverage,even if it's not through your
(07:21):
traditional insurance.
So this is not something thatwas on my radar back in the day,
back in the day.
I think we were going throughthis.
It was about 2015 when westarted, yeah, about 10 years
ago, when we started with, youknow, infertility testing and
diving into all of that.
And I had no idea to look inabout looking into fertility
(07:42):
benefit programs.
Maybe they existed, maybe theydidn't back then, but it's
definitely a thing now.
So check and see if your companyhas the opportunity to add on
those programs.
And if you're paying out ofpocket, ask your clinic about
self-pay packages, medicationdiscounts, or refund programs.
And some for pharmacies evenprice match fertility
(08:03):
medications, which can make abig difference.
I definitely took advantage ofthis because when we went
through IVF, we were paying outof pocket.
It was not covered by myinsurance at the time.
And honestly, I'd be curiouswhat the company does now.
It's a big tech company, andthis was 10 years ago.
And I think my insurance coveredthree or four.
(08:25):
I think it covered four IUIs ina year.
It covered initial diagnostictesting and monitoring, but it
that's all it covered.
So you couldn't do more thanfour IUIs in a calendar year.
And then it did not cover anypart of IVF.
I would hope that it does now,10 years later.
I mean, I know a lot morecompanies are getting on board,
but we've still got a lot ofwork to do in the support of
(08:48):
infertility treatments.
So yeah, definitely getcreative.
See about self-pay packages.
That's what we did.
Medication discounts, we didthat as well, and that helped.
And then there's often refundprograms too.
So just check around and see ifand when and where you can save
money because every little bitwill help.
(09:11):
Okay, let's shift gears for amoment and talk about the
financial conversations thatcome with all of this.
Because it's not just having aconversation with your insurance
company or your the company youwork for.
And it's not just about whatinsurance covers, right?
It's about what you and yourpartner can handle both
(09:32):
emotionally and financially as ateam.
Now, take it from me, thesediscussions can get
uncomfortable fast.
I mean, money's never fun totalk about, especially when
you've both have been navigatingdisappointment, hope, and the
stress of trying to conceive.
But I've learned that honestcommunication early on can save
(09:52):
you so much tension later.
Um, depending on how long yourinfertility journey ends up
being, you know, some people,some people have a little bump
in the road, others spend yearstrying to create their family.
And let me tell you, it can alot of these different piece
moving parts of infertility canhave a toll on your marriage.
(10:12):
Um, and the financial piece ofit is one of those big things.
So have these honestconversations early on so you
can save yourself from all thetension later.
So here are a few things thatcan help.
Set a shared budget from thestart.
Okay.
Decide together how much you'rerealistically able and willing
(10:34):
to spend on treatments, travel,medications, or storage fees.
It's okay if that number changeslater, but at least like have a
baseline so it'll help groundyour decisions.
And the important thing here iswhat you're realistically able
to spend and willing to spend,because this is where maybe you
(10:56):
and your partner might not seeeye to eye.
So just have a conversationabout it and talk about your
emotional limits, right?
Not just financial ones.
You can ask each other, youknow, how many cycles do we feel
emotionally capable of tryingbefore taking a break or
exploring another path?
Obviously, you don't know forsure until you're in it, but
(11:16):
just kind of getting a feel foreach other's like baselines and
where you're comfortable goingin high, like in theory, this
will keep the conversationabout, you know, your overall
well-being, not just your bankaccount.
I know this was a big triggerfor me when we were going
through fertility treatments andfiguring out how to safely grow
our family and you know,eventually going on to surrogacy
(11:39):
is I would get so triggered whenit would come down to just
money.
Because to me, as somebody whohas just dreamt of this family
and has worked so hard and hasbeen through so much loss and
struggle and treatment and justall these things over the years
to try and complete our family.
To me, the financial piece wassimple.
It was either we could do itfinancially or we have to find
(12:02):
another way.
Like I would not take no for ananswer, but I also was not
thinking about, you know, theemotional limits of the
financial piece because it cancreate more stress.
It can create an, you know, adifferent dynamic within your
marriage.
And there are just so manymoving parts other than like the
numbers on paper.
(12:22):
Okay.
So make sure you're thinking bigpicture.
Another thing that would help isto divide the mental load of it
all.
So maybe one of you handles thecalls to insurance and the other
handles pharmacy coordination orbilling.
It'll help both partners stayinvolved and invested because if
the other person isn'tunderstanding everything that
(12:44):
goes into figuring all of thisout and just knowing the ins and
outs of insurance and optionsand everything, it might be hard
for the other partner tounderstand, A, how this is
taking a toll on you mentally,or B, just what those options
even are and what's possible andwhat's not.
So by splitting, you know, kindof dividing this mental load,
you'll both stay involved,you'll both be invested in this
(13:07):
common goal of figuring out howto financially support your
journey.
And lastly, I want to suggestthat you be transparent with
your partner about your fears.
I also, this is a good time tomention to you.
I keep saying partner, but likeif you are on a path as a single
(13:28):
mom by choice, find someone thatyou can talk to.
You don't have to talk about theins and outs of costs and your
finances and everything, but itis a big part of the journey
that can weigh on you.
So find somebody that you trustto talk this through with and
just someone that you can beopus and open and honest with
about your fears surrounding thefinancial piece of fertility.
(13:50):
It's completely normal for onepartner to feel anxious about
the cost while the other feelsdesperate to keep trying.
So give each other space toexpress that without judgment.
Okay.
By default, I mean, you and yourpartner are two different
people.
You are experiencing the wholejourney in two different ways.
(14:11):
And that's why it's important toleave space for each other to
express however you're feelingwithout judgment.
This was a hard one for us atone point because, yeah, one of
us, my husband, was feeling moreanxious about the cost, and I
was feeling more desperate tokeep trying and just keep pursue
(14:31):
this dream that we had.
And truthfully, I at some pointsI was willing to do it at any
cost.
It wasn't until after we hadsome children at home, our boys,
and we're going to pursuefurther that I started to look
through things differently andreally see what my husband's
point of view was as far as likeit's the big picture.
(14:52):
You know, we have two kids we'retaking care of.
We have a house, we have jobs.
I had become a stay-at-home mom.
You know, the dynamics ofeverything had changed.
And so it's really importantjust to be open and honest and
look about the think about thebig picture when you are looking
at this financial piece.
And just know for both of you,like go into it as a couple,
(15:12):
knowing that these things canchange.
It's awesome that you're talkingabout it, but you know, your
emotional limits might change.
You might decide that originallythat you both want to do X
amount of cycles beforeexploring another path.
And it might be less.
It might, you don't know whatthe future holds, but it's good
to just kind of remotely be onthe same page so there aren't
(15:34):
any surprises and you can beopen and honest about your
feelings.
And if this all feels like waytoo much to navigate alone,
financial counseling throughyour clinic or even couples
therapy can be a really safespace to have these discussions.
Your team and how you handle themoney conversations now can
(15:54):
definitely strengthen that bondthrough every step ahead.
These financial and emotionalpieces of the fertility
treatment that we are talkingabout are very real.
I've been there and I knowfirsthand how heavy this part
can feel.
Whether you're facing bills forblood work or ultrasounds and
medications before you've evengotten a positive pregnancy
(16:16):
test, it's a lot.
And it's not just financial,it's emotional, right?
It can make you feel like yourfamily is being held hostage by
insurance codes.
But please remember your worth,your path to motherhood, your
story is not defined by a lineitem on a policy.
Okay.
If you've ever, if you'relistening and you've ever had to
(16:39):
make the heartbreaking choicebetween another cycle or saving
your marriage, your sanity, oryour savings account, I see you.
And trust me when I say you arenot alone in that.
Here is the truth.
Navigating insurance forfertility treatments can be
complicated, but you are morecapable than you think.
(17:00):
Every time you call an insurancerep, every time you ask another
question or push for clarity,you're advocating not just for
yourself, but for the womencoming after you.
The more we talk about this, themore employers, lawmakers, and
insurers start to see thatfertility care is not elective.
It is essential health care.
(17:20):
So if you take anything fromtoday's episode, let it be this.
You deserve support financially,emotionally, and medically on
your path to motherhood.
If you found this episodehelpful, share it with someone
else who's navigating thisconfusing insurance maze.
You never know who might need tohear that they're not alone in
(17:41):
this.
And if you want more guidance,tips, and community, come join
us inside your fertilityvillage.
You'll find conversations,expert advice, and women who
truly get it.
I would absolutely love to haveyou as a founding member in your
fertility village.
It is a space near and dear tomy heart, and I am so excited to
be launching it.
And as a founding member, now ifyou join now through the end of
(18:04):
the year, you get a specialfounding member badge.
You lock in the best price thismembership will ever be at,
which is only$7 a month.
And that'll be your costforever.
The value is going to increase.
What we offer is going tocontinue to increase, but you
will always have a membershipfee of only$7.
So I would love to have you onthe ground floor helping me
(18:25):
build this village.
You can find the link in theshow notes or visit
your-fertility-village.mo.co.
And before you go, I alsocreated a free doctor's
appointment guide to help youfeel more confident and prepared
for your next fertility visit.
So it includes the exactquestions to ask your doctor, a
(18:46):
space to take notes, and then afew gentle reminders for
protecting your peace along theway.
You can grab it for free usingthe link in the show notes or
visit motherhoodintended.kit.comslash freebie.
Thanks for tuning in today.
As always, I'm sending love,light, and strength to you
wherever you are on yourjourney.
And I'll talk to you next timeon Motherhood Intended.
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