September 11, 2023 • 53 mins
What if we told you that healing is a journey, not a destination? That the act of authentically caring for oneself can revolutionize entire communities? This is exactly what we found out in our riveting discussion with Nyabingha Zianni, the founder of Sistaaz Heal Network LLC and the SistaaHood Show - both dedicated platforms for black women and girls. Naya, a transformational speaker, dives deep into her own journey of self-love, and how it catalyzed her mission to create safe spaces for black women and girls to heal, feel, and express themselves.
Our conversation weaves through themes of restorative justice, personal healing, and the authenticity of self. Nyabingha talks about the value of holding space for ourselves and others, recognizing that healing isn't a linear process and that sometimes, we need to free ourselves from the savior syndrome. Shifting from a dysfunctional system to a model of restorative justice is no easy task, yet Nyabingha encourages us to embrace the discomfort that accompanies such profound change. We also explore the importance of leaning into our own unique gifts, embracing our indigenous roots, and the potent power of sisterhood.
CONTACT FOR NYABINGHA ZIANNI
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nyabinghazianni_
Website: https://www.nyabinghazianni.info/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right, let's go.
All right, so we have a guesttoday and before we get started,
welcome to Motherland.
Yeah, all right, so I'm goingto let our guest introduce
(00:33):
herself.
I will say I've been followingher for a while on Instagram.
I love what she has going onover there.
She has great topics and greatlives.
Your lives are awesome, goahead.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Yeah, hello everybody .
My name is Naya Benghziani.
I am a transformational speaker.
I'm a published author, spokenword poet.
I am a sacred facilitator, adivine mother.
I am a sister who wears manyhead wraps and she wears them
well.
I am also the founder and CEOof Sister's Hill Network LLC.
(01:07):
We are a social enterprisewhose mission is to advance the
revolutionary healing of blackwomen and black girls.
I am also the founder of theSisterhood and it is a media
platform where I bring differentblack women together to talk
about what it means to heal,feel and deal with being a black
(01:28):
woman and just to come together, share our experiences, our
artistry, our stories and justbuild a community that is
necessary and that is needed anda system in the world who does
not want us to be great.
So that's me.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
So let's talk about it.
That's what we can wrap, we'redone.
So thanks for coming on to thepodcast.
That's a wrap.
We'll see you next week.
Oh my god, naya Benghziani, I'mso excited that you're here and
the first thing that I want toask you I want to get into so
many things, but I first want toknow why are you in this work?
(02:11):
And I know the big part of itthat we're black women and we
need to heal.
The world is trying toannihilate us, but what
specifically sparked you?
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Yeah, wow, I actually just answered this question
yesterday.
But I think how I got to thiswork was being a young black
girl myself and not reallyloving who I saw looking back at
me in the mirror.
And my first job was actuallyat a youth center.
So I worked with a lot of youngfolks and I saw myself in them
(02:46):
and just the struggle of notfeeling like they had a voice,
the struggle of not loving theirhair, their body or just who
they were in their identity.
And through that I actuallystarted off just doing
empowerment work, the rightcommunity empowerment, because
(03:07):
the young people I worked withthey was of all shades, all
colors, all backgrounds.
And then I started to go deeperand just focusing on women's
empowerment Because I'm like,ooh, these little girls, they
don't love themselves, like Iremember I didn't love myself.
I think even at that moment Iwas still struggling to love
myself, trying to help otherfolks.
(03:27):
And then I went deeper and Iwas praying about it, because my
work, my ministry, it's rootedin my spirituality and in my
beliefs in God and I know thatthis mission was given to me by
God Because I always felt likesomething was put on my life to
do this work.
(03:47):
So as I started to go deeperinto that, I just recognized
like, ok, I need to be a littlebit more specific.
And something on my heart justtold me you need to work with
black women and you need to workwith black girls.
And I started to get into that.
(04:07):
I have a background in poetry.
That's my passion, so that'swhen it started, when it came to
me getting a voice, and then Istarted to dabble in theater and
all of these different things,and every time I was on stage
people just were.
They go inside of themselveswhen I speak, so to say, and I
just touched them in a differentway.
(04:27):
So I was like I need to bedoing more than poetry, like I
want to use that as a vehicle.
But I know that I'm a speaker.
And as I started to speak moreand connect more, I also saw
myself just cultivating thesehealing spaces and holding them
Because my people needed it.
And I saw that there was a need, especially with young black
girls, because they didn'treally have many mentors and
(04:51):
other black women to pour intothem and our single mother,
sisters and just other moms whohave help still needed some
support outside of the familyunit we were trying to get back
to that village and then, as wecontinued to expand, we see that
there are black women who arestill little girls, who have not
been healed, who have not beenloved, who have not been
(05:12):
nurtured, and they're respondingas a five-year-old girl because
they didn't have that space toheal when they were younger,
right, or they didn't have thatprotection in that moment.
So I know it's a long-laintinganswer, but all the things, all
the things inspired it, and I docommunity work.
(05:36):
So there are moments where Ihave community spaces of all
people.
I just know that my specificmission is black women and girls
.
But if somebody comes up to meand asks me can you hold this
space, I won't turn it away.
I don't know how importanthealing is and sometimes maybe
(05:57):
it's just self-expiration, maybeit's just I need to see who I
am and to offer that space andhold that space.
I'm more than open to do it,but when it comes to the work
that I do, on the spaces that Icultivate, I'm real intentional
about my sisters.
Yeah, that's me.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
Talk to me about what it looks like.
What does it look like whenyou're doing community work with
?
Let's talk about young girls,because I loved what you said,
that when you didn't like whatwas looking back at you in the
mirror.
I grew up in a predominantlywhite neighborhood and even
though I grew up from a familyof activists like my grandfather
(06:40):
was a panther and a unionorganizer, like he was a
professional rabble rouser for ajob.
And yet, being in apredominantly white neighborhood
, I really still felt, eventhough I had a sense of pride I
didn't like what I look like.
I didn't.
I wanted to be like the whitegirls in my neighborhood.
(07:00):
I didn't like my hair, I feltuncomfortable and then felt the
shame, knowing that I shouldn'tfeel that shame of wanting to be
different, and that struggleinternally.
How do you work with littlegirls who are struggling with
that sense of identity, wantingto love themselves and yet
feeling like they're notsupposed to?
Speaker 2 (07:23):
That's a beautiful question and thank you for
sharing that Because I reallyresonate with that.
And I actually cultivated amentorship program.
It's called Sister's HillMentorship and it's actually on
pause right now because it takesso much work, but it is a
mentorship program for youngblack girls ages 9 to 24.
(07:46):
And that mentorship program,the goal of that was right of
passage.
It was to get back to thatvillage, it was to give black
girls, black women, mentors,because a young black girl needs
to hear what you just shared.
Sometimes they look at us andthey see us and they're like wow
, they're smiling, they'rebeautiful, they're so confident,
(08:08):
they're just standing in theirpower and standing in their
light.
But they don't know how we gotthere and they don't always have
the examples to see how we gotthere.
So I cultivated that programjust to have that level of write
a passage, to have that supportfor what it looks like to
(08:28):
become a woman, to transitioninto womanhood, to not be lost
in this world, because there'sso many things that influence us
and move us in pathways that donot serve us and hurt us, and
when you can have somebody thereto, of course, let you make
your own decisions but help youjust guide you in different ways
(08:51):
or give you a sounding board, adifferent perspective that you
wouldn't have gotten if you wereall alone.
And it's not only the sisterswho have mothers in their lives.
There are young sisters infoster care who do not have
family, who leave the fostercare and are a part of that
transitional age and still feellike they have no sense of
(09:15):
community because they were notgiven the resources that other
sisters were who actually havetheir parents in the household.
So there's many differentlayers.
And then, just to go a littlebit more specific, I held sister
circles for young girls indifferent schools and those
circles in workshops were eyeopening.
(09:39):
It's like I knew it was there,because I knew what we were
talking about when I was younger.
But to hear from young sistersbetween the age of nine and 12
talking about how they hatetheir hair, how they want their
hair to be like this and to bestraight like the other girls,
and something I was sointentional about and why I
wanted to do it with black girls, is because when you're in a
(10:02):
space with people who look likeyou and who can understand your
experiences, you say things thatyou wouldn't say in a space
that is a little bit more openand welcoming of other folks.
And you know, something Ialways say is it's not an
(10:23):
exclusive space.
Right, it's an intentionalspace Because there's talk about
it Young girls and it'snecessary.
Right, there are experiencesthat women can feel as women.
There are experiences as girlscan feel as girls, but it's
something about what black girlsexperience that other folks
just can't identify with.
(10:44):
So, when we cultivate thesespaces and we're showing them
this emotional intelligence,this social connection, what
does it mean to be in communitywith other sisters?
Like I was working with younggirls who were being expelled,
who were fighting one anotherbecause they were having an
internal battle withinthemselves, and then, when they
seen their sister, they startedto see that reflection that they
(11:07):
didn't like in the mirror.
So now they argue and theyfight in because they don't have
the tools to communicate howthey really feel and that
yearning they truly have forfriendship, but don't know how
to have that healthyrelationship.
So those are just somedifferent ways that we have
worked with these young sistersto really just see themselves
(11:31):
and see that they are worthy ofso much more than they've been
told or that the media has toldthem or that society has told
them.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
That's what I'm saying as you're talking.
I was crying before when youwere talking, my eyes just
filled up because I think,hearing you talk, I can't help
but think of something that DrCornell West said.
That he said justice is whatlove looks like in public and
what you are doing with thesegirls, with us, it's not.
(12:05):
You are bringing a sense ofjustice because when we can love
each other publicly, in theseintentional spaces, we stop the
harm that happens from thecriminalization of black girls.
That starts in school.
We are already, we areadultified, we are turned into
adults when we're five and sixyears old and don't have an
(12:26):
ability to have a girlhood.
So that's happening on anexternal narrative and then
internally we're fighting thatand forced because we carry so
much, not just as girls but fromgenerations before and that
weight that's on our shoulders,that the work that you are doing
, this justice work, isspiritual work because it's
(12:49):
healing ancestral wounds thatneed to be healed.
And I am so grateful that youare on the earth and in doing
this work, because it is sonecessary, I'm just really I'm
thankful.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
I think it's beautiful what you're doing.
You're a divine space holder inthe way that you're holding
space for these young womenespecially.
You said you start the age ofnine to break the cycle and
allowing themselves to seethemselves rather than
projecting those wounds.
That cycle continues.
Let me project out, project out, project out.
(13:26):
But learning to see themselvesfor the beauty that they truly
are like, I can't imagine, Imean, how their life changes
within that second, within thatway of so fast.
How long have you been doingthis?
Speaker 2 (13:41):
It's been around a couple of years and I've been in
different schools and, like Isaid before I started explaining
it, it is on pause right nowbecause we have we have a lot of
mentors and also, like y'all,to get into the schools.
It is challenging, like themost specific on partners that
(14:03):
they let in and even when youget approved through the
district which I am like youstill have to make relationships
with every single principal,and then that's a whole
conversation in itself.
So we don't even like, we don'teven talk about the barriers
that comes with trying to dothis kind of work and understand
that the education system, likethe people inside of it, wanna
(14:26):
see it happen.
Right, they do.
But there's so many blockspresent, there's so many like we
don't have the budget present.
But you know, things are movingand some things might shift
soon.
But I also wanted to saysomething along the lines of
(14:49):
that nine to 12 age is so like,it's so juicy, as my sister
Camila would say, it's sopowerful because, like that
elementary, middle school age,the brain makes a total 360.
We are rediscovering who we arein this world.
(15:09):
We're exiting out of, like thatchildhood, into, like, trying
to figure out, like, yes, thisis my personality, this is what
I wanna wear, this is who Iwanna be.
And then you're going to schoolwith other people who are doing
the same thing, and when themedia, when society, when some
of your friends who don't looklike you are telling you that
(15:31):
you are not beautiful, whenthey're talking about your skin
being too dark or they'retalking about your hair being
too nappy, all of thesedifferent things.
That's why it's so important tohave these spaces to reinforce
the beauty that is black girls,right.
So I just wanted to share that.
And something else I wanna sharethat I feel like is important
(15:53):
when holding space.
I think it's important forfolks to understand that it's
not about me, right.
It's about awakening the hereinside of the space.
It's about awakening theadvocates that live inside of us
, that are just waiting to comeout.
It's about awakening the leader, awakening the voice so that
(16:18):
that individual can step up andspeak up for themselves, so they
can start the process ofhealing on their own journey.
Because we all wanna claim theterm as expert, right, that's
what you need to speak and doall these things, but people are
experts in their own lives andyou can give them the resources,
(16:39):
the tools, the strategies, butif they don't do nothing with it
, then it doesn't mean anything,absolutely so.
It's so important, and that'ssomething I had to learn, though
, because I used to say, oh, I'ma healer, and then I stopped
saying it.
I stopped saying it, I don'tsay it.
Speaker 3 (16:55):
I don't say it either , I don't.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
You just had this conversation not too long ago.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
Yeah, like I don't say that anymore because I
understand, like I'm working onhealing myself and I know how
challenging that is.
I know that people are watchingme, who follow my journey and
maybe they get inspired, maybethey can utilize some of the
resources that I have utilized.
(17:21):
But it's not only to saveanybody.
It's not my job and I can'theal anybody.
That's not my job and I'm okaywith that.
So I just want to.
Speaker 3 (17:33):
Yeah, that's amazing.
No, it's true.
The way that we can beconnected with each other is
when we do our own work.
Like it starts inside, and Iknow we all say it and it's so
much harder, right?
It's so much easier to be ableto say well, I need that out
(17:55):
there, that person needs to helpme, or I need to seek outside
in order to do the work.
And on some level too Iremember talking about this
during a sit several months agomy frustration and my anger and
my pain ends up because Irecognize that I need to do this
(18:17):
work for myself and I get madbecause of the additional work I
have to do, because of what'shappening externally.
And there's this push, pullright Like Sam.
That's not right, it's not fair,and yet it's still my
responsibility andaccountability and being able to
call that greed and sadnessabout it, to be able to find
(18:40):
enough love to cultivate it anddo the work right.
And I'm 52 and I'm still tryingto figure this shit out right,
like it's still recognizing thatthis journey is not linear and
that it's never been linear andit's all happening at the same
time and still trying to findspace to rest and do the work
(19:01):
and all of it.
I can't even imagine being anine year old black girl right
now.
I can't, I can't go hard backin 1979.
So I don't know what it'sprobably like now.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
And yeah, it's layers , it's so many layers and you
mentioned something earlierabout the generational healing
that has to be done and you know, like we've been saying this a
lot in the system hood, but justthe focus on generational
trauma and curses is so heavybut we don't focus on the beauty
(19:34):
that was passed down, Right andwhen we can have that balance
of our gifts, our skills, ourtalents, the wisdom, the
knowledge, along with, you know,acknowledging the trauma and
the challenges, it just gives usa little bit more breathing
room.
It gives us a little bit more.
And I think that tension of Iwant to heal, Right, but
(19:59):
sometimes it's like I don't knowwhere to start and even at
whatever age, like I've heardI've worked with women who were
a little bit more mature andthey talked about just it.
They talked about thechallenges of like you know,
like maybe they just left themarriage and they're
(20:22):
rediscovering themselves againand they know they got some
healing to do.
But sometimes, like it justtakes baby steps, Sometimes it
takes I'm not ready to do thatright now and I'm going to just
sit right here for a second andI'm okay with that.
Like I think we shouldencourage that tension,
encourage radical, rest,encourage saying, yes, I'm going
(20:44):
to heal, but it is a journey,it's not a destination.
So I'm not going to be so hardon myself Because I know how
heavy this work is.
So I just wanted to share.
I love radical.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
I think I love.
You called a radical rest.
That's what we've talked about,that like this whole thing.
I mean I have to tell you rightnow, like I don't know if you
listened, like two episodes ago,but you, you're like exactly
what Motherland stands for andand I just think it's like
that's so important.
You know, people are constantlythinking, you know I'm like
baby steps.
Not everybody's healing journeyis exactly the same.
We're not always the same.
(21:23):
Some people go real fast andpeople go real slow.
Sit in that grief, sit in thatsadness, be present with it,
heal it.
But I think us you know well Isay this was talking to me
earlier.
We were talking about the factis, as you do your healing work
and you start working within,you're going to see all that
stuff from your generations.
You're going to see the traumasthat your family is endured or
(21:43):
ancestors had to go through, andyou're going to have to go
through that as well.
But giving yourself that grace,giving yourself that compassion
, I think it's beautiful thatyou know.
But there's so much beauty init too, like there's so much
beauty in who you are and evenin like I work with a lot of the
Hispanic community, you know,and we were taught like, in our
(22:03):
ways, were bad, they were evil,they were wrong, you know.
So I work with a lot of women,helping them say no, that's
beauty, that's intuition, that'sgifts, that's something that's
a part of you.
Let's embrace it, you know,let's come back home to it and I
think, like that's so key is tofocus on.
We get caught up and, yeah,there's the pain of what we had
to endure, but there's alsobeauty in it too, and yeah, in
(22:28):
both ways there's a strengththat there's just a strength
that's in your blood thatwouldn't be there Otherwise, I
think as well.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
Yeah, like I, the word that's been marinating,
awakening community, it's a.
It's a coming back to theancestral knowledge that was
always there.
And, just like I always say,everything you need is already
inside of you.
All you got activated.
Like you shared earlier.
(22:59):
You said we keep on lookingoutside, we're looking outside
and is inside of us is the truth.
Now, things outside of us caninspire, it can spark, it can
ignite.
But we were born with thefabric that we needed to make
(23:21):
this fly outfit of life thatwe're waiting for.
Fly out of life, the fly outfitof life.
We already got all the fabric.
We got the thread, we got thesewing machine, we got the
scissors and it's already insideof us.
We got the vision to bring thefabric to life.
(23:44):
We got, we know where the toolsare.
It's innate inside of us, butwe so focused on the outside
world and we don't understandthat when we understand the
inside world, the outside worldstarts to follow Exactly so.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
I'm over here crying.
That's beautiful.
I could like listen to youforever.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
You're doing some stuff.
What's your?
What district are you?
Just out of curiosity.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
District.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
Like what do you mean by that?
Because I know you were sayinglike oh, your program is on
right now, but what district?
Speaker 2 (24:27):
California country-cast-state is district
that I've been approved in.
I actually got a call a while,like a couple weeks ago, from an
old friend talking about shejust came across my RSP proposal
at her school and she going totry to put it in front of the
board and see if she can get methe amount of money that I asked
(24:51):
for to bring the mentorships toher campus.
Now I don't know if it's goingto come out of that, but I said
it was on pause and I was notexpecting that call.
But it just goes to show thatwhen timing is right it will
happen, the funds will come andyou don't have to worry.
(25:11):
But it just also makes me awareto like don't forget about it,
because we move through theworld and we focus on all of
these things and you just can'tforget about what's supposed to
be, what's supposed to come tolife.
(25:31):
Because I'm a visionary y'allLike.
I got all the ideas, but I knowthat all of my ideas are not
supposed to happen at the sametime and that's hard for me
Because I want to bring all tolife.
But sometimes I recognize thatI get ideas that are not even
(25:51):
mine.
Speaker 3 (25:52):
Some of those ideas are for other people to bring to
life, and also sometimes thevision doesn't even have to go
anywhere, but just by asking thequestions you let that ripple
out for somebody else to feel.
And I think I say that a lotwhen we start talking about
(26:13):
reimagining how we need to bewith one another in community,
specifically thinking about thecriminal justice system that
everybody says is broken but Ibelieve is working as it's
designed.
So we can't talk about reform,we have to talk about
dismantling.
But we can just put thequestions out there, right, it's
(26:33):
not even that it has to happenwhen we are in our bodies.
But if it's not said it can'tbe imagined.
So sometimes you just got tosay it.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
Yeah, just put it out there, put it into the universe
and let the universe do its job, because somebody is going to
hear it without evenunderstanding that.
They heard it, that part, andnow they're bringing it to life.
Don't get me started on thesystem, honey Like yeah, she's
like, let's get started.
Speaker 3 (27:02):
Let's get started, Listen you and I the three of us
can all talk about it.
Let's get started.
I spent a decade going toRikers Island Correctional
Facility in New York teachingmindfulness meditation.
What I really was doing wasteaching laboratory practices,
(27:23):
like by using mindfulness as away, sort of in, but it became
too much.
I left because, even thoughone-on-one the work that I was
doing felt necessary to beparticipating in the system, I
could no longer justify.
It was a struggle I had daily,but the tension got too tight.
(27:47):
I could work the tension for awhile, but then it just got
overstretched and I was like Ican't.
So I need to figure out a wayto talk about this mentally.
Speaker 2 (27:57):
Yeah, like I recently got into the restorative
justice work right, learning,reading, training, all the
things and it's heavy work.
It's heavy work and thisspecific project that I work for
.
They talk about doing this workoutside of the legal system,
(28:24):
which is even heavier becauseyou're doing this work but then
you're also working with peoplewho have been conditioned to
believe that the system is whothey call on, so you can give
them the alternatives all day,but something in their mind
there needs to be a paradigmshift for them to even
understand that there'ssomething else that's possible
(28:45):
rather than that system.
So it takes work, but it'sdefinitely something that's been
marinating on my heart.
And when you talk about fakingit, we've been doing this.
We've had a justice systembefore.
This system was born,absolutely, it's indigenous.
(29:08):
So to come back to that, it'snot easy to do it, but it's
necessary.
Speaker 3 (29:18):
And it's powerful when it's done.
I've done several restorativeand really transformative
justice.
I'm even beyond restorativejustice how do we transform a
situation?
And it is heavy work and it'spowerful work because again it
goes back to that beautiful wordattention that you used.
(29:39):
There's the tension that wecarry, wanting to let go of
something that we know isn'tworking, and yet we are so
conditioned to be OK, beinguncomfortable and hurt so we're
adaptable.
So the idea of even thinkingthat there is something that we
(29:59):
could go back to Right Not evengo towards, but go get back to
can be so terrifying, becausethere's so much that we have to,
I think, re-remember.
I think, going back to what youwere saying about beauty we
need to remember that in orderto make the leap to go out.
Speaker 2 (30:17):
Yeah, but also recognize all the distractions.
All the distractions that arepresent that people just wanted
to keep going, like, why do youkeep talking about that?
We don't want to talk about it.
Or we want to keep going, wedon't want to talk about it, we
don't want to acknowledgeslavery.
It was so long ago, like,literally people's
(30:39):
great-grandmothers can say thatthey were a slave.
That's not that long ago.
So there's it's just so many.
It's like this pain and thisescapism that people want to
like.
I don't want to see it.
I want to put this veil overand I try not to judge people.
(31:00):
You know, because of it,because, like I was just talking
to a sister today and I wassaying how I've been kind of
like I have some tension inmyself Because it's a lot of
sisters.
When you talk about buildingsisterhood it gets a little
tricky Because the history ofwomen in general and then when
(31:27):
you go deeper into just blackwomen and there's layers, you've
got to pull back, and then it'sjust this idea that we are
challenged.
We are challenged to reallylike, see each other.
Like a lot of folks feel likeit's not possible.
(31:47):
A lot of people feel like it'snot possible and I really feel
challenged because there arethings that I see and we're in
such a sensitive world right nowand I don't wanna be combative
because I feel like that is notthe way.
I believe in meeting peoplewhere they are and elevating
(32:10):
them from there Withaccountability, with love, with
light, but I don't wanna push adoctrine down their throat
because I know that they're notgonna receive it that way.
A lot of people they try to comeout and they share and all this
other stuff.
But when it's so aggressive,people run and shut down because
(32:33):
they're so used to the freedomand the exploitation and all the
things.
And I really have that tensionand that challenge within myself
because I'm like, ooh, I wannago in, but I know something
inside of me is not letting me.
Because I wanna be careful, Iwanna be thoughtful of the steps
(32:56):
that I make, because I feellike people have to experience
it before they believe it.
They gotta see something thatwill shift inside of them a
little bit.
And I know some people will belike they just too far gone and
everybody ain't gonna make it,everybody not gonna wanna come,
and that's okay.
(33:16):
But I do wanna make thetransition a little smooth, a
little bit more palatable, sothat they can see that they're
worthy of something more thanthe world has told them they
have to be in order to berelevant.
So that's just something Iwanted to share on my heart.
Speaker 3 (33:38):
Yeah, and you know, liberation, freedom is taken,
it's not given.
Right, like, we take ourfreedom, we take our liberation.
So it is, and it goes back, Ithink, to the tension.
And I think, you know, I'mreally good at being judgmental
and that's something that I'm,that's my toxic trait, that I'm
always working on, and thereason I am like that is because
(34:02):
there was so much judgment Iput on myself, right?
So when I judge.
It's just because I feel.
I feel that discomfort inmyself.
So I know, when that rises up,that that means that I need to
go inside and be tender with myown heart, and I think that I
used to see this all the time atRikers right.
This idea of and what I neededto do, and why I'm grateful for
(34:24):
a lot of the Buddhist teachingsthat I've had is this idea of
non-attachment and it's notdetachment.
It's not detachment because itcatapultifies ignoring and
distance, but this idea ofholding something like a feather
trying to touch a bubble, likeI have to allow it to be there
(34:45):
but not push so hard becausethat's not for me to do right,
because then that breaks thatbarrier of me going inside and
it's hard and it's hard and I'mbetter at it on some days than
others, you know Right that'sreal, yeah, and I don't know.
Speaker 2 (35:07):
But I think it's all a journey, you know.
But I've got some teachers thatI've tuned into who don't care.
They gon' tell you what it isand that's is, and I respect
those women so much and I wonderif there's gonna be a moment,
(35:29):
as I grow and as I evolve, whereI get to that space of like
this is what it is, you know,but I really respect those women
and how they deliver theirmessage and the message that
they're delivering, and I feellike we do need more of it.
I feel like there's a balance.
Speaker 3 (35:49):
I'm the person to bring those women in and have
them say it and I'm like, yeah,Three Listen once you get to 50,
that distance between justsaying it as it is, I feel like
(36:10):
I'm creeping closer and closer.
I'm getting closer and closer.
Oh my gosh, I love it.
Speaker 1 (36:18):
I love it when people just say it, just say what
needs to be said.
But I think the thing is isyou're holding that space and
bringing so many people togetherso people can just hear it in a
different way and how they needto hear it, how they need to
receive it.
But it's conversations likethis, it's creating the circles
you're creating that are makingthat ripple effect, that are
(36:41):
making that change, that arehelping those people to start
the healing process, that aremaking a difference.
And I think that's as much aslike I think Onika said it the
other day we were talking aboutthe conversation and being
unapologetic about who cares.
We have the right, you have theright to have your space.
You know everybody has theright to have the space, have
these conversations that need tobe had and, at the same time,
(37:03):
like it's exciting.
I'm excited because it's likethe more people out there that
are willing to do the work, thatare willing to hold the space,
that are willing to put it infront of your face, like that's
where it needs to be right now.
That's where it needs to be.
And it's an exciting timebecause I'm finding I don't know
if it's because we're in thecircle right now that it's like
(37:23):
there's more of this and more ofthis and more of this.
That's just like yes, yes, likefinally, finally.
You know, stop the avoidance.
Stop, you know, stop trying toput, like you said, trying to,
you know, hide behind it.
You know, in my own like, in myown family line, like you know,
that was one of the things I'mthe one that's like no, we're
taking this veil off and we'reripping this shit out and you're
(37:45):
, we're gonna all look at this,you know, versus the other ones
that were like no, we just gotta, you know, go with the flow.
Go with the flow, you know,don't start any trouble.
And I'm like, no, like I'm donewith all of that.
But yeah, I think it's exciting.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
Yeah, and I think it also depends on the moment, you
know For sure, because I do havemy moments where, you know, I
just go there and I think, Ithink it's all a growing, it's
just a, it's an evolution space.
It's a growing space.
(38:21):
We're all growing, we're allevolving.
But I feel like I'm called tohold a space much bigger than I
am right now.
Or, thank you, be careful,because I wanna be thoughtful
and I really wanna sit in it, Iwanna pray about it, I wanna go
deeper.
So I truly understand, like Iwas called to speak at a very
(38:45):
young age.
But there were moments where I'mlike, nah, I'm not ready God, I
gotta figure out this messagefirst Like I'm not ready yet,
like, and even like there'sstill something inside of me
that's like almost almost, butand being okay, with that grace,
(39:07):
because I know like I'm stillpreparing myself, like I'm
reading, I'm doing what I needto do.
So when it's really time tostep up, I'm not gonna be, I'm
not gonna doubt anything, I'mnot gonna sit down, I'm gonna
stand up Right.
And to be transparent andauthentic has always been
(39:28):
something so big for me as Istarted to really step into the
space and really step into mypower because that's where
people really connected with,because on social media we see
the high-liberals, we see all ofthe beauty.
But there were moments whereI'm like I'm not okay, y'all.
And sharing that andunderstanding that authenticity
(39:53):
is big for me, because I mightbe positive, I might be sharing
this motivation, this love, thislight, but there are days where
I don't feel it and I don'twant to and I don't wanna talk
to you or anybody else.
And when we can share that andown that and just practice that
duality and be our authenticselves, it's just a much more
(40:19):
beautiful human experience as aspiritual being.
So, yeah, but I resonate, takeoff, match off the veil.
You know, there's people in ourlives who are supposed to be
those people Like that's whothey're meant to be.
And I feel like everybody hasthe purpose, everybody has a
(40:40):
role.
I heard it's just to say onetime.
Everybody is special and it'sbeen sitting on my heart ever
since because we are allinterconnected.
I've been getting so deep intoIMB because we are a Bluetooth,
because the way we'reinterconnected, the way
everybody makes this world goround.
I think we truly understandthat we are so siloed.
(41:04):
It's all about us.
Yes, self-love, yes,self-confidence is so important
and as we pour into our owngardens, the community garden
thrives.
But the community garden needsa little bit more extra love.
Speaker 3 (41:19):
It needs time, care you know, lesson care is
self-care, it is.
It is Because the reality isthat we can't do this by
ourselves, right?
I think?
Here in the United States, youknow, american exceptionalism
(41:39):
and individualism has beeningrained in us, thinking that
we do it on our own, we do it byourselves and we never do, but
we think we do right and so, youknow, it's a great way to keep
people separated if we're onlythinking that you know we're the
only ones who can do this.
And when we start, you know, Ithink as a global majority, when
(41:59):
we start to make theseconnections and recognize that
we are connected and that weneed each other, and we need
each other by doing our own workright, we need that space
because then we can figure outhow not to do harm to ourselves.
So I have no choice, but not toharm you, because I am you and
you are me.
Speaker 2 (42:22):
Yes, yes, all of that , that's immunity, healing.
It's so important.
That's why, when I talk aboutlike the sisterhood, I always
say like the sisterhood is thebeginning.
It's the beginning, it's aspace for black women to come
together.
And then if these blackbrothers like I've seen black
brothers come together, but justin case I don't see it in my
(42:45):
close proximity I'm gonna starttapping some shoulders and say
come on, brothers.
And then once they startmeeting consistently, getting
their stuff together, then we'regonna say come on, black people
, right, let's get our unittogether, our family unit, let's
nation build.
And I also wanna just mentionthat it's a lot of people doing
this work that don't getacknowledged.
(43:06):
It's a lot of people doing thisfor years, years.
Sometimes, like you know, it'sa spark of young fire and
they're like, yeah, I'm doingthis, but it's a lot of people
who've been doing this, who'vebeen here, right, and I
acknowledge them, I honor themand my whole concept is that I
wanna bring everybody in thosesilos together.
(43:29):
I wanna say let's cultivatethis ecosystem of healing, of
elevation, of transformation,because, yes, you know, like
you're doing real estate, that'simportant.
Now, come over here and showthese sisters, show these
brothers, how to do real estateLike you're doing agricultural
stuff.
That's important.
(43:49):
It's important to you and it'simportant to a group of people
who follow you or who've beenlooking for you.
All of these things areessential to a nation, to a
community that's been soseparated and siloed for so long
.
But there are people doing thiswork.
They just gotta come together,and it's a lot of visionaries
(44:11):
who see it how I see it and canreally make it happen.
So I just wanted to say that,because I ain't the only one
doing this.
It's a lot of people doing it,y'all doing this right.
So many people doing this work.
Speaker 3 (44:28):
Oh, patricia Hershey, the Nat Manifesto, the Nat Fest
, yeah, I mean, she's incredible, you know, there are there.
Speaker 2 (44:37):
yeah, so many people, so many people and, yeah, yeah,
so many people doing this work,and I think, like I just feel
something inside of me that says, like something is shifting and
I think you mentioned it too,isabel like something is like
(44:57):
it's time.
Yeah, it's something differentin the air, in the energy, like
I've been feeling it for a whilenow and it's gonna be something
that people didn't expect.
That's something I feel in myspirit.
Speaker 1 (45:14):
I agree I think Onika said it right now too like when
we talk about how everybodyalways wants to keep, you know,
everybody separate.
You know I'm like you said.
You know, onika, I'm anindividual, I'm gonna do my
thing.
I'm an individual and, yeah,you gotta do the work inside.
But I think, in a way, we'remeant to be a community, we're
meant to be with each other,we're meant to heal with one
(45:36):
another.
We're meant to, yeah, I have myweaknesses and I have my
strengths, but where myweaknesses are, guess what?
You get to be my strength andvice versa.
You know it's a give, it's atake.
It's like I get to see my lightin you and I can't see it in me
, and I think, like we're allconnecting back into in our own
circles or in our own ways, butlike coming back and bringing
(45:57):
into those communities andstarting that rather than being
so stuck in.
This is my bubble, this is myshell, this is the way, because
that's what I think we havealways been assimilated to do,
that's what they do, that's whatwe've been encouraged to do,
and it's like but that's not theway it was meant to be.
You go back into yourindigenous roots For me, like I
go back into my you know, andthat's not.
(46:19):
That wasn't the way my cultureis, that's not the way that you
know we were taught.
It was the whole different wascommunity.
So I think it's exciting.
I side note, I just have to sayI know there's some people
doing this work right now, butwatching you right now and
listening to you, I'm excitedjust right now.
Like I know you're stillgrowing, but like I'm like girl,
(46:40):
you're gonna be like circleshere, circles here, mentor here,
mentor there.
Like I don't just see you inyour little bubble of your space
, I see you like all over andI'm like excited to watch that
grow for you guys for you.
Speaker 2 (46:55):
I appreciate that.
I appreciate it and I do feellike, in the spirit of
authenticity and transparency, Ido feel like there are moments
where I don't.
I try to like downplay myself.
You know, like oh, and I've haddifferent people like speak
over my life and tell meotherwise.
But something I also share withpeople is it's not important
(47:17):
for somebody to tell you you'rebeautiful.
It's not important for somebodyto tell you you are amazing or
you're talented, like you gottavalidate yourself first.
And when I talk to people I'mtalking to myself.
It's a reminder to myself thatyou gotta see the light that God
gave you and stop downing it.
And once you stop downing it,watch, watch, just let it happen
(47:41):
.
Just let it marinate, cause it'stime to put it in a pot and
cook.
Speaker 3 (47:44):
Okay, I was talking about doubt last week.
I like a little bit of doubt.
Doubt is a big part of mypractice and I'll tell you why.
I'll tell you why Because if Iam too sure I'm not allowing new
things to come in and when Ihave a little bit of doubt
there's a little crack.
It's not enough to break, butit lets a little light in.
(48:07):
It might send me down a path.
I would not have gone down if Ihad been so stuck in what I
think is right, cause that's mything, what I can hold on real
tightly to something and let nolight in.
So doubt is my way of just keepletting that come in, because
there might be something elsethat I'm not considering.
(48:29):
I like to be open to that.
Speaker 1 (48:31):
I remember you saying doubt your face, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (48:38):
And I think, because I defined doubt differently,
then there's doubt that sort ofuproots you and sort of shakes
your foundation.
I'm talking about doubt as aform of a question, when you
allow yourself to sort of anunparaphrasing I can't remember
(48:59):
his name, neil deGrasse Tysonhere when standing on the edge
of a cliff, sort of at theprecipice of knowledge, and
there needs to be a little bitof room to be able to ask the
question at least out into theuniverse.
So doubt is my space.
Speaker 2 (49:16):
Yeah, it also and, like you said, I think in some
level it's like a reclaiming ofit, cause it also makes me feel
like it's also discernmentenabled to like just listen and
he's listening to a messagetoday and they were talking to
Bishop Delbronner and he wastalking about discernment and
(49:39):
being in a no and intuition andfor a long time, like we were
told not to listen to that andtold that it wasn't real.
I remember a sister on one of myshows talking about as children
we are like, our intuition ispushed down, because when we say
, mommy, I don't want to go onthat store and be quiet, come on
(50:00):
, let's go on this store, youdon't even ask, you don't even
inquire about why she feels thisway.
Or my daughter, she's an empathand there are people who she's
like hi, and there are somepeople who make her go small and
make her like and I payattention to that and when she
(50:22):
don't like that person, I moveand I keep my eye on that person
because it's something aboutthe intuition of a child that's
so deeply connected and I don'tignore that.
But it's something that we alsohave to get back to and listen
to.
So I appreciate that, what youjust shared and I'm gonna keep
(50:42):
that on my heart as I movethrough this thing called life.
Speaker 1 (50:47):
Well, I know that we're on a time crunch, as much
as I want to keep thisconversation going.
So and it's been an honor, likeI honestly listen to you all
day I think this is great.
I'm sure we'll see you again,can you?
Speaker 3 (51:00):
let her go.
Yeah, happy to be back this wasamazing.
Speaker 1 (51:03):
Yeah, can you let her know, like, where they can find
you, what, like all theinformation?
Speaker 2 (51:09):
Of course, you can find me on Instagram at
NayaBingaziAnnie, and I'm surethey'll put it in the caption,
so I'm not even gonna try tospell it.
So I have an event coming up Ifyou are local to the Bay our
next sisterhood show in person.
We're gonna be talking aboutthe power of sisterhood, but
(51:29):
more so specifically, we'regonna be talking about
competition, jealousy,challenges and the seeds that
were planted in that to make itso hard for black women to be in
relationship with one another,and also the grief of
relationship that we don'tacknowledge not romantic, but
actual friendships.
(51:50):
So we're gonna be talking aboutthat on October 15.
So go get your ticket and be inthe building, my book Master
and the Sisters Self to masterthe world around you.
It is a book and a workbook.
It's available on Amazon and,yeah, that's all the things.
Oh, and YouTube, it's the sameas my Instagram, so you can
(52:11):
subscribe there.
We'll be dropping more episodesof the sisterhood show very
soon.
Speaker 1 (52:17):
Perfect, all those links in the whole bio and it's
been a pleasure.
I love it.
Speaker 3 (52:23):
Anything else.
No, you were amazing.
I'm so glad that we got to be acommunity with one another.
Speaker 2 (52:30):
Yes, I'm so excited.
I hope that we can likecollaborate soon and build in a
different way.
Absolutely, thank you.
Speaker 1 (52:40):
Yes, thank you.
Thank you, all right guys.
Of course, talk to y'all later,bye, Bye you.
All right, let's go.
All right, so we have a guesttoday and before we get started,
welcome to Motherland.
Yeah, all right, so I'm goingto let our guest introduce
(00:33):
herself.
I will say I've been followingher for a while on Instagram.
I love what she has going onover there.
She has great topics and greatlives.
Your lives are awesome, goahead.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Yeah, hello everybody .
My name is Naya Benghziani.
I am a transformational speaker.
I'm a published author, spokenword poet.
I am a sacred facilitator, adivine mother.
I am a sister who wears manyhead wraps and she wears them
well.
I am also the founder and CEOof Sister's Hill Network LLC.
(01:07):
We are a social enterprisewhose mission is to advance the
revolutionary healing of blackwomen and black girls.
I am also the founder of theSisterhood and it is a media
platform where I bring differentblack women together to talk
about what it means to heal,feel and deal with being a black
(01:28):
woman and just to come together, share our experiences, our
artistry, our stories and justbuild a community that is
necessary and that is needed anda system in the world who does
not want us to be great.
So that's me.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
So let's talk about it.
That's what we can wrap, we'redone.
So thanks for coming on to thepodcast.
That's a wrap.
We'll see you next week.
Oh my god, naya Benghziani, I'mso excited that you're here and
the first thing that I want toask you I want to get into so
many things, but I first want toknow why are you in this work?
(02:11):
And I know the big part of itthat we're black women and we
need to heal.
The world is trying toannihilate us, but what
specifically sparked you?
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Yeah, wow, I actually just answered this question
yesterday.
But I think how I got to thiswork was being a young black
girl myself and not reallyloving who I saw looking back at
me in the mirror.
And my first job was actuallyat a youth center.
So I worked with a lot of youngfolks and I saw myself in them
(02:46):
and just the struggle of notfeeling like they had a voice,
the struggle of not loving theirhair, their body or just who
they were in their identity.
And through that I actuallystarted off just doing
empowerment work, the rightcommunity empowerment, because
(03:07):
the young people I worked withthey was of all shades, all
colors, all backgrounds.
And then I started to go deeperand just focusing on women's
empowerment Because I'm like,ooh, these little girls, they
don't love themselves, like Iremember I didn't love myself.
I think even at that moment Iwas still struggling to love
myself, trying to help otherfolks.
(03:27):
And then I went deeper and Iwas praying about it, because my
work, my ministry, it's rootedin my spirituality and in my
beliefs in God and I know thatthis mission was given to me by
God Because I always felt likesomething was put on my life to
do this work.
(03:47):
So as I started to go deeperinto that, I just recognized
like, ok, I need to be a littlebit more specific.
And something on my heart justtold me you need to work with
black women and you need to workwith black girls.
And I started to get into that.
(04:07):
I have a background in poetry.
That's my passion, so that'swhen it started, when it came to
me getting a voice, and then Istarted to dabble in theater and
all of these different things,and every time I was on stage
people just were.
They go inside of themselveswhen I speak, so to say, and I
just touched them in a differentway.
(04:27):
So I was like I need to bedoing more than poetry, like I
want to use that as a vehicle.
But I know that I'm a speaker.
And as I started to speak moreand connect more, I also saw
myself just cultivating thesehealing spaces and holding them
Because my people needed it.
And I saw that there was a need, especially with young black
girls, because they didn'treally have many mentors and
(04:51):
other black women to pour intothem and our single mother,
sisters and just other moms whohave help still needed some
support outside of the familyunit we were trying to get back
to that village and then, as wecontinued to expand, we see that
there are black women who arestill little girls, who have not
been healed, who have not beenloved, who have not been
(05:12):
nurtured, and they're respondingas a five-year-old girl because
they didn't have that space toheal when they were younger,
right, or they didn't have thatprotection in that moment.
So I know it's a long-laintinganswer, but all the things, all
the things inspired it, and I docommunity work.
(05:36):
So there are moments where Ihave community spaces of all
people.
I just know that my specificmission is black women and girls
.
But if somebody comes up to meand asks me can you hold this
space, I won't turn it away.
I don't know how importanthealing is and sometimes maybe
(05:57):
it's just self-expiration, maybeit's just I need to see who I
am and to offer that space andhold that space.
I'm more than open to do it,but when it comes to the work
that I do, on the spaces that Icultivate, I'm real intentional
about my sisters.
Yeah, that's me.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
Talk to me about what it looks like.
What does it look like whenyou're doing community work with
?
Let's talk about young girls,because I loved what you said,
that when you didn't like whatwas looking back at you in the
mirror.
I grew up in a predominantlywhite neighborhood and even
though I grew up from a familyof activists like my grandfather
(06:40):
was a panther and a unionorganizer, like he was a
professional rabble rouser for ajob.
And yet, being in apredominantly white neighborhood
, I really still felt, eventhough I had a sense of pride I
didn't like what I look like.
I didn't.
I wanted to be like the whitegirls in my neighborhood.
(07:00):
I didn't like my hair, I feltuncomfortable and then felt the
shame, knowing that I shouldn'tfeel that shame of wanting to be
different, and that struggleinternally.
How do you work with littlegirls who are struggling with
that sense of identity, wantingto love themselves and yet
feeling like they're notsupposed to?
Speaker 2 (07:23):
That's a beautiful question and thank you for
sharing that Because I reallyresonate with that.
And I actually cultivated amentorship program.
It's called Sister's HillMentorship and it's actually on
pause right now because it takesso much work, but it is a
mentorship program for youngblack girls ages 9 to 24.
(07:46):
And that mentorship program,the goal of that was right of
passage.
It was to get back to thatvillage, it was to give black
girls, black women, mentors,because a young black girl needs
to hear what you just shared.
Sometimes they look at us andthey see us and they're like wow
, they're smiling, they'rebeautiful, they're so confident,
(08:08):
they're just standing in theirpower and standing in their
light.
But they don't know how we gotthere and they don't always have
the examples to see how we gotthere.
So I cultivated that programjust to have that level of write
a passage, to have that supportfor what it looks like to
(08:28):
become a woman, to transitioninto womanhood, to not be lost
in this world, because there'sso many things that influence us
and move us in pathways that donot serve us and hurt us, and
when you can have somebody thereto, of course, let you make
your own decisions but help youjust guide you in different ways
(08:51):
or give you a sounding board, adifferent perspective that you
wouldn't have gotten if you wereall alone.
And it's not only the sisterswho have mothers in their lives.
There are young sisters infoster care who do not have
family, who leave the fostercare and are a part of that
transitional age and still feellike they have no sense of
(09:15):
community because they were notgiven the resources that other
sisters were who actually havetheir parents in the household.
So there's many differentlayers.
And then, just to go a littlebit more specific, I held sister
circles for young girls indifferent schools and those
circles in workshops were eyeopening.
(09:39):
It's like I knew it was there,because I knew what we were
talking about when I was younger.
But to hear from young sistersbetween the age of nine and 12
talking about how they hatetheir hair, how they want their
hair to be like this and to bestraight like the other girls,
and something I was sointentional about and why I
wanted to do it with black girls, is because when you're in a
(10:02):
space with people who look likeyou and who can understand your
experiences, you say things thatyou wouldn't say in a space
that is a little bit more openand welcoming of other folks.
And you know, something Ialways say is it's not an
(10:23):
exclusive space.
Right, it's an intentionalspace Because there's talk about
it Young girls and it'snecessary.
Right, there are experiencesthat women can feel as women.
There are experiences as girlscan feel as girls, but it's
something about what black girlsexperience that other folks
just can't identify with.
(10:44):
So, when we cultivate thesespaces and we're showing them
this emotional intelligence,this social connection, what
does it mean to be in communitywith other sisters?
Like I was working with younggirls who were being expelled,
who were fighting one anotherbecause they were having an
internal battle withinthemselves, and then, when they
seen their sister, they startedto see that reflection that they
(11:07):
didn't like in the mirror.
So now they argue and theyfight in because they don't have
the tools to communicate howthey really feel and that
yearning they truly have forfriendship, but don't know how
to have that healthyrelationship.
So those are just somedifferent ways that we have
worked with these young sistersto really just see themselves
(11:31):
and see that they are worthy ofso much more than they've been
told or that the media has toldthem or that society has told
them.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
That's what I'm saying as you're talking.
I was crying before when youwere talking, my eyes just
filled up because I think,hearing you talk, I can't help
but think of something that DrCornell West said.
That he said justice is whatlove looks like in public and
what you are doing with thesegirls, with us, it's not.
(12:05):
You are bringing a sense ofjustice because when we can love
each other publicly, in theseintentional spaces, we stop the
harm that happens from thecriminalization of black girls.
That starts in school.
We are already, we areadultified, we are turned into
adults when we're five and sixyears old and don't have an
(12:26):
ability to have a girlhood.
So that's happening on anexternal narrative and then
internally we're fighting thatand forced because we carry so
much, not just as girls but fromgenerations before and that
weight that's on our shoulders,that the work that you are doing
, this justice work, isspiritual work because it's
(12:49):
healing ancestral wounds thatneed to be healed.
And I am so grateful that youare on the earth and in doing
this work, because it is sonecessary, I'm just really I'm
thankful.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
I think it's beautiful what you're doing.
You're a divine space holder inthe way that you're holding
space for these young womenespecially.
You said you start the age ofnine to break the cycle and
allowing themselves to seethemselves rather than
projecting those wounds.
That cycle continues.
Let me project out, project out, project out.
(13:26):
But learning to see themselvesfor the beauty that they truly
are like, I can't imagine, Imean, how their life changes
within that second, within thatway of so fast.
How long have you been doingthis?
Speaker 2 (13:41):
It's been around a couple of years and I've been in
different schools and, like Isaid before I started explaining
it, it is on pause right nowbecause we have we have a lot of
mentors and also, like y'all,to get into the schools.
It is challenging, like themost specific on partners that
(14:03):
they let in and even when youget approved through the
district which I am like youstill have to make relationships
with every single principal,and then that's a whole
conversation in itself.
So we don't even like, we don'teven talk about the barriers
that comes with trying to dothis kind of work and understand
that the education system, likethe people inside of it, wanna
(14:26):
see it happen.
Right, they do.
But there's so many blockspresent, there's so many like we
don't have the budget present.
But you know, things are movingand some things might shift
soon.
But I also wanted to saysomething along the lines of
(14:49):
that nine to 12 age is so like,it's so juicy, as my sister
Camila would say, it's sopowerful because, like that
elementary, middle school age,the brain makes a total 360.
We are rediscovering who we arein this world.
(15:09):
We're exiting out of, like thatchildhood, into, like, trying
to figure out, like, yes, thisis my personality, this is what
I wanna wear, this is who Iwanna be.
And then you're going to schoolwith other people who are doing
the same thing, and when themedia, when society, when some
of your friends who don't looklike you are telling you that
(15:31):
you are not beautiful, whenthey're talking about your skin
being too dark or they'retalking about your hair being
too nappy, all of thesedifferent things.
That's why it's so important tohave these spaces to reinforce
the beauty that is black girls,right.
So I just wanted to share that.
And something else I wanna sharethat I feel like is important
(15:53):
when holding space.
I think it's important forfolks to understand that it's
not about me, right.
It's about awakening the hereinside of the space.
It's about awakening theadvocates that live inside of us
, that are just waiting to comeout.
It's about awakening the leader, awakening the voice so that
(16:18):
that individual can step up andspeak up for themselves, so they
can start the process ofhealing on their own journey.
Because we all wanna claim theterm as expert, right, that's
what you need to speak and doall these things, but people are
experts in their own lives andyou can give them the resources,
(16:39):
the tools, the strategies, butif they don't do nothing with it
, then it doesn't mean anything,absolutely so.
It's so important, and that'ssomething I had to learn, though
, because I used to say, oh, I'ma healer, and then I stopped
saying it.
I stopped saying it, I don'tsay it.
Speaker 3 (16:55):
I don't say it either , I don't.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
You just had this conversation not too long ago.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
Yeah, like I don't say that anymore because I
understand, like I'm working onhealing myself and I know how
challenging that is.
I know that people are watchingme, who follow my journey and
maybe they get inspired, maybethey can utilize some of the
resources that I have utilized.
(17:21):
But it's not only to saveanybody.
It's not my job and I can'theal anybody.
That's not my job and I'm okaywith that.
So I just want to.
Speaker 3 (17:33):
Yeah, that's amazing.
No, it's true.
The way that we can beconnected with each other is
when we do our own work.
Like it starts inside, and Iknow we all say it and it's so
much harder, right?
It's so much easier to be ableto say well, I need that out
(17:55):
there, that person needs to helpme, or I need to seek outside
in order to do the work.
And on some level too Iremember talking about this
during a sit several months agomy frustration and my anger and
my pain ends up because Irecognize that I need to do this
(18:17):
work for myself and I get madbecause of the additional work I
have to do, because of what'shappening externally.
And there's this push, pullright Like Sam.
That's not right, it's not fair,and yet it's still my
responsibility andaccountability and being able to
call that greed and sadnessabout it, to be able to find
(18:40):
enough love to cultivate it anddo the work right.
And I'm 52 and I'm still tryingto figure this shit out right,
like it's still recognizing thatthis journey is not linear and
that it's never been linear andit's all happening at the same
time and still trying to findspace to rest and do the work
(19:01):
and all of it.
I can't even imagine being anine year old black girl right
now.
I can't, I can't go hard backin 1979.
So I don't know what it'sprobably like now.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
And yeah, it's layers , it's so many layers and you
mentioned something earlierabout the generational healing
that has to be done and you know, like we've been saying this a
lot in the system hood, but justthe focus on generational
trauma and curses is so heavybut we don't focus on the beauty
(19:34):
that was passed down, Right andwhen we can have that balance
of our gifts, our skills, ourtalents, the wisdom, the
knowledge, along with, you know,acknowledging the trauma and
the challenges, it just gives usa little bit more breathing
room.
It gives us a little bit more.
And I think that tension of Iwant to heal, Right, but
(19:59):
sometimes it's like I don't knowwhere to start and even at
whatever age, like I've heardI've worked with women who were
a little bit more mature andthey talked about just it.
They talked about thechallenges of like you know,
like maybe they just left themarriage and they're
(20:22):
rediscovering themselves againand they know they got some
healing to do.
But sometimes, like it justtakes baby steps, Sometimes it
takes I'm not ready to do thatright now and I'm going to just
sit right here for a second andI'm okay with that.
Like I think we shouldencourage that tension,
encourage radical, rest,encourage saying, yes, I'm going
(20:44):
to heal, but it is a journey,it's not a destination.
So I'm not going to be so hardon myself Because I know how
heavy this work is.
So I just wanted to share.
I love radical.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
I think I love.
You called a radical rest.
That's what we've talked about,that like this whole thing.
I mean I have to tell you rightnow, like I don't know if you
listened, like two episodes ago,but you, you're like exactly
what Motherland stands for andand I just think it's like
that's so important.
You know, people are constantlythinking, you know I'm like
baby steps.
Not everybody's healing journeyis exactly the same.
We're not always the same.
(21:23):
Some people go real fast andpeople go real slow.
Sit in that grief, sit in thatsadness, be present with it,
heal it.
But I think us you know well Isay this was talking to me
earlier.
We were talking about the factis, as you do your healing work
and you start working within,you're going to see all that
stuff from your generations.
You're going to see the traumasthat your family is endured or
(21:43):
ancestors had to go through, andyou're going to have to go
through that as well.
But giving yourself that grace,giving yourself that compassion
, I think it's beautiful thatyou know.
But there's so much beauty init too, like there's so much
beauty in who you are and evenin like I work with a lot of the
Hispanic community, you know,and we were taught like, in our
(22:03):
ways, were bad, they were evil,they were wrong, you know.
So I work with a lot of women,helping them say no, that's
beauty, that's intuition, that'sgifts, that's something that's
a part of you.
Let's embrace it, you know,let's come back home to it and I
think, like that's so key is tofocus on.
We get caught up and, yeah,there's the pain of what we had
to endure, but there's alsobeauty in it too, and yeah, in
(22:28):
both ways there's a strengththat there's just a strength
that's in your blood thatwouldn't be there Otherwise, I
think as well.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
Yeah, like I, the word that's been marinating,
awakening community, it's a.
It's a coming back to theancestral knowledge that was
always there.
And, just like I always say,everything you need is already
inside of you.
All you got activated.
Like you shared earlier.
(22:59):
You said we keep on lookingoutside, we're looking outside
and is inside of us is the truth.
Now, things outside of us caninspire, it can spark, it can
ignite.
But we were born with thefabric that we needed to make
(23:21):
this fly outfit of life thatwe're waiting for.
Fly out of life, the fly outfitof life.
We already got all the fabric.
We got the thread, we got thesewing machine, we got the
scissors and it's already insideof us.
We got the vision to bring thefabric to life.
(23:44):
We got, we know where the toolsare.
It's innate inside of us, butwe so focused on the outside
world and we don't understandthat when we understand the
inside world, the outside worldstarts to follow Exactly so.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
I'm over here crying.
That's beautiful.
I could like listen to youforever.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
You're doing some stuff.
What's your?
What district are you?
Just out of curiosity.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
District.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
Like what do you mean by that?
Because I know you were sayinglike oh, your program is on
right now, but what district?
Speaker 2 (24:27):
California country-cast-state is district
that I've been approved in.
I actually got a call a while,like a couple weeks ago, from an
old friend talking about shejust came across my RSP proposal
at her school and she going totry to put it in front of the
board and see if she can get methe amount of money that I asked
(24:51):
for to bring the mentorships toher campus.
Now I don't know if it's goingto come out of that, but I said
it was on pause and I was notexpecting that call.
But it just goes to show thatwhen timing is right it will
happen, the funds will come andyou don't have to worry.
(25:11):
But it just also makes me awareto like don't forget about it,
because we move through theworld and we focus on all of
these things and you just can'tforget about what's supposed to
be, what's supposed to come tolife.
(25:31):
Because I'm a visionary y'allLike.
I got all the ideas, but I knowthat all of my ideas are not
supposed to happen at the sametime and that's hard for me
Because I want to bring all tolife.
But sometimes I recognize thatI get ideas that are not even
(25:51):
mine.
Speaker 3 (25:52):
Some of those ideas are for other people to bring to
life, and also sometimes thevision doesn't even have to go
anywhere, but just by asking thequestions you let that ripple
out for somebody else to feel.
And I think I say that a lotwhen we start talking about
(26:13):
reimagining how we need to bewith one another in community,
specifically thinking about thecriminal justice system that
everybody says is broken but Ibelieve is working as it's
designed.
So we can't talk about reform,we have to talk about
dismantling.
But we can just put thequestions out there, right, it's
(26:33):
not even that it has to happenwhen we are in our bodies.
But if it's not said it can'tbe imagined.
So sometimes you just got tosay it.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
Yeah, just put it out there, put it into the universe
and let the universe do its job, because somebody is going to
hear it without evenunderstanding that.
They heard it, that part, andnow they're bringing it to life.
Don't get me started on thesystem, honey Like yeah, she's
like, let's get started.
Speaker 3 (27:02):
Let's get started, Listen you and I the three of us
can all talk about it.
Let's get started.
I spent a decade going toRikers Island Correctional
Facility in New York teachingmindfulness meditation.
What I really was doing wasteaching laboratory practices,
(27:23):
like by using mindfulness as away, sort of in, but it became
too much.
I left because, even thoughone-on-one the work that I was
doing felt necessary to beparticipating in the system, I
could no longer justify.
It was a struggle I had daily,but the tension got too tight.
(27:47):
I could work the tension for awhile, but then it just got
overstretched and I was like Ican't.
So I need to figure out a wayto talk about this mentally.
Speaker 2 (27:57):
Yeah, like I recently got into the restorative
justice work right, learning,reading, training, all the
things and it's heavy work.
It's heavy work and thisspecific project that I work for
.
They talk about doing this workoutside of the legal system,
(28:24):
which is even heavier becauseyou're doing this work but then
you're also working with peoplewho have been conditioned to
believe that the system is whothey call on, so you can give
them the alternatives all day,but something in their mind
there needs to be a paradigmshift for them to even
understand that there'ssomething else that's possible
(28:45):
rather than that system.
So it takes work, but it'sdefinitely something that's been
marinating on my heart.
And when you talk about fakingit, we've been doing this.
We've had a justice systembefore.
This system was born,absolutely, it's indigenous.
(29:08):
So to come back to that, it'snot easy to do it, but it's
necessary.
Speaker 3 (29:18):
And it's powerful when it's done.
I've done several restorativeand really transformative
justice.
I'm even beyond restorativejustice how do we transform a
situation?
And it is heavy work and it'spowerful work because again it
goes back to that beautiful wordattention that you used.
(29:39):
There's the tension that wecarry, wanting to let go of
something that we know isn'tworking, and yet we are so
conditioned to be OK, beinguncomfortable and hurt so we're
adaptable.
So the idea of even thinkingthat there is something that we
(29:59):
could go back to Right Not evengo towards, but go get back to
can be so terrifying, becausethere's so much that we have to,
I think, re-remember.
I think, going back to what youwere saying about beauty we
need to remember that in orderto make the leap to go out.
Speaker 2 (30:17):
Yeah, but also recognize all the distractions.
All the distractions that arepresent that people just wanted
to keep going, like, why do youkeep talking about that?
We don't want to talk about it.
Or we want to keep going, wedon't want to talk about it, we
don't want to acknowledgeslavery.
It was so long ago, like,literally people's
(30:39):
great-grandmothers can say thatthey were a slave.
That's not that long ago.
So there's it's just so many.
It's like this pain and thisescapism that people want to
like.
I don't want to see it.
I want to put this veil overand I try not to judge people.
(31:00):
You know, because of it,because, like I was just talking
to a sister today and I wassaying how I've been kind of
like I have some tension inmyself Because it's a lot of
sisters.
When you talk about buildingsisterhood it gets a little
tricky Because the history ofwomen in general and then when
(31:27):
you go deeper into just blackwomen and there's layers, you've
got to pull back, and then it'sjust this idea that we are
challenged.
We are challenged to reallylike, see each other.
Like a lot of folks feel likeit's not possible.
(31:47):
A lot of people feel like it'snot possible and I really feel
challenged because there arethings that I see and we're in
such a sensitive world right nowand I don't wanna be combative
because I feel like that is notthe way.
I believe in meeting peoplewhere they are and elevating
(32:10):
them from there Withaccountability, with love, with
light, but I don't wanna push adoctrine down their throat
because I know that they're notgonna receive it that way.
A lot of people they try to comeout and they share and all this
other stuff.
But when it's so aggressive,people run and shut down because
(32:33):
they're so used to the freedomand the exploitation and all the
things.
And I really have that tensionand that challenge within myself
because I'm like, ooh, I wannago in, but I know something
inside of me is not letting me.
Because I wanna be careful, Iwanna be thoughtful of the steps
(32:56):
that I make, because I feellike people have to experience
it before they believe it.
They gotta see something thatwill shift inside of them a
little bit.
And I know some people will belike they just too far gone and
everybody ain't gonna make it,everybody not gonna wanna come,
and that's okay.
(33:16):
But I do wanna make thetransition a little smooth, a
little bit more palatable, sothat they can see that they're
worthy of something more thanthe world has told them they
have to be in order to berelevant.
So that's just something Iwanted to share on my heart.
Speaker 3 (33:38):
Yeah, and you know, liberation, freedom is taken,
it's not given.
Right, like, we take ourfreedom, we take our liberation.
So it is, and it goes back, Ithink, to the tension.
And I think, you know, I'mreally good at being judgmental
and that's something that I'm,that's my toxic trait, that I'm
always working on, and thereason I am like that is because
(34:02):
there was so much judgment Iput on myself, right?
So when I judge.
It's just because I feel.
I feel that discomfort inmyself.
So I know, when that rises up,that that means that I need to
go inside and be tender with myown heart, and I think that I
used to see this all the time atRikers right.
This idea of and what I neededto do, and why I'm grateful for
(34:24):
a lot of the Buddhist teachingsthat I've had is this idea of
non-attachment and it's notdetachment.
It's not detachment because itcatapultifies ignoring and
distance, but this idea ofholding something like a feather
trying to touch a bubble, likeI have to allow it to be there
(34:45):
but not push so hard becausethat's not for me to do right,
because then that breaks thatbarrier of me going inside and
it's hard and it's hard and I'mbetter at it on some days than
others, you know Right that'sreal, yeah, and I don't know.
Speaker 2 (35:07):
But I think it's all a journey, you know.
But I've got some teachers thatI've tuned into who don't care.
They gon' tell you what it isand that's is, and I respect
those women so much and I wonderif there's gonna be a moment,
(35:29):
as I grow and as I evolve, whereI get to that space of like
this is what it is, you know,but I really respect those women
and how they deliver theirmessage and the message that
they're delivering, and I feellike we do need more of it.
I feel like there's a balance.
Speaker 3 (35:49):
I'm the person to bring those women in and have
them say it and I'm like, yeah,Three Listen once you get to 50,
that distance between justsaying it as it is, I feel like
(36:10):
I'm creeping closer and closer.
I'm getting closer and closer.
Oh my gosh, I love it.
Speaker 1 (36:18):
I love it when people just say it, just say what
needs to be said.
But I think the thing is isyou're holding that space and
bringing so many people togetherso people can just hear it in a
different way and how they needto hear it, how they need to
receive it.
But it's conversations likethis, it's creating the circles
you're creating that are makingthat ripple effect, that are
(36:41):
making that change, that arehelping those people to start
the healing process, that aremaking a difference.
And I think that's as much aslike I think Onika said it the
other day we were talking aboutthe conversation and being
unapologetic about who cares.
We have the right, you have theright to have your space.
You know everybody has theright to have the space, have
these conversations that need tobe had and, at the same time,
(37:03):
like it's exciting.
I'm excited because it's likethe more people out there that
are willing to do the work, thatare willing to hold the space,
that are willing to put it infront of your face, like that's
where it needs to be right now.
That's where it needs to be.
And it's an exciting timebecause I'm finding I don't know
if it's because we're in thecircle right now that it's like
(37:23):
there's more of this and more ofthis and more of this.
That's just like yes, yes, likefinally, finally.
You know, stop the avoidance.
Stop, you know, stop trying toput, like you said, trying to,
you know, hide behind it.
You know, in my own like, in myown family line, like you know,
that was one of the things I'mthe one that's like no, we're
taking this veil off and we'reripping this shit out and you're
(37:45):
, we're gonna all look at this,you know, versus the other ones
that were like no, we just gotta, you know, go with the flow.
Go with the flow, you know,don't start any trouble.
And I'm like, no, like I'm donewith all of that.
But yeah, I think it's exciting.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
Yeah, and I think it also depends on the moment, you
know For sure, because I do havemy moments where, you know, I
just go there and I think, Ithink it's all a growing, it's
just a, it's an evolution space.
It's a growing space.
(38:21):
We're all growing, we're allevolving.
But I feel like I'm called tohold a space much bigger than I
am right now.
Or, thank you, be careful,because I wanna be thoughtful
and I really wanna sit in it, Iwanna pray about it, I wanna go
deeper.
So I truly understand, like Iwas called to speak at a very
(38:45):
young age.
But there were moments where I'mlike, nah, I'm not ready God, I
gotta figure out this messagefirst Like I'm not ready yet,
like, and even like there'sstill something inside of me
that's like almost almost, butand being okay, with that grace,
(39:07):
because I know like I'm stillpreparing myself, like I'm
reading, I'm doing what I needto do.
So when it's really time tostep up, I'm not gonna be, I'm
not gonna doubt anything, I'mnot gonna sit down, I'm gonna
stand up Right.
And to be transparent andauthentic has always been
(39:28):
something so big for me as Istarted to really step into the
space and really step into mypower because that's where
people really connected with,because on social media we see
the high-liberals, we see all ofthe beauty.
But there were moments whereI'm like I'm not okay, y'all.
And sharing that andunderstanding that authenticity
(39:53):
is big for me, because I mightbe positive, I might be sharing
this motivation, this love, thislight, but there are days where
I don't feel it and I don'twant to and I don't wanna talk
to you or anybody else.
And when we can share that andown that and just practice that
duality and be our authenticselves, it's just a much more
(40:19):
beautiful human experience as aspiritual being.
So, yeah, but I resonate, takeoff, match off the veil.
You know, there's people in ourlives who are supposed to be
those people Like that's whothey're meant to be.
And I feel like everybody hasthe purpose, everybody has a
(40:40):
role.
I heard it's just to say onetime.
Everybody is special and it'sbeen sitting on my heart ever
since because we are allinterconnected.
I've been getting so deep intoIMB because we are a Bluetooth,
because the way we'reinterconnected, the way
everybody makes this world goround.
I think we truly understandthat we are so siloed.
(41:04):
It's all about us.
Yes, self-love, yes,self-confidence is so important
and as we pour into our owngardens, the community garden
thrives.
But the community garden needsa little bit more extra love.
Speaker 3 (41:19):
It needs time, care you know, lesson care is
self-care, it is.
It is Because the reality isthat we can't do this by
ourselves, right?
I think?
Here in the United States, youknow, american exceptionalism
(41:39):
and individualism has beeningrained in us, thinking that
we do it on our own, we do it byourselves and we never do, but
we think we do right and so, youknow, it's a great way to keep
people separated if we're onlythinking that you know we're the
only ones who can do this.
And when we start, you know, Ithink as a global majority, when
(41:59):
we start to make theseconnections and recognize that
we are connected and that weneed each other, and we need
each other by doing our own workright, we need that space
because then we can figure outhow not to do harm to ourselves.
So I have no choice, but not toharm you, because I am you and
you are me.
Speaker 2 (42:22):
Yes, yes, all of that , that's immunity, healing.
It's so important.
That's why, when I talk aboutlike the sisterhood, I always
say like the sisterhood is thebeginning.
It's the beginning, it's aspace for black women to come
together.
And then if these blackbrothers like I've seen black
brothers come together, but justin case I don't see it in my
(42:45):
close proximity I'm gonna starttapping some shoulders and say
come on, brothers.
And then once they startmeeting consistently, getting
their stuff together, then we'regonna say come on, black people
, right, let's get our unittogether, our family unit, let's
nation build.
And I also wanna just mentionthat it's a lot of people doing
this work that don't getacknowledged.
(43:06):
It's a lot of people doing thisfor years, years.
Sometimes, like you know, it'sa spark of young fire and
they're like, yeah, I'm doingthis, but it's a lot of people
who've been doing this, who'vebeen here, right, and I
acknowledge them, I honor themand my whole concept is that I
wanna bring everybody in thosesilos together.
(43:29):
I wanna say let's cultivatethis ecosystem of healing, of
elevation, of transformation,because, yes, you know, like
you're doing real estate, that'simportant.
Now, come over here and showthese sisters, show these
brothers, how to do real estateLike you're doing agricultural
stuff.
That's important.
(43:49):
It's important to you and it'simportant to a group of people
who follow you or who've beenlooking for you.
All of these things areessential to a nation, to a
community that's been soseparated and siloed for so long
.
But there are people doing thiswork.
They just gotta come together,and it's a lot of visionaries
(44:11):
who see it how I see it and canreally make it happen.
So I just wanted to say that,because I ain't the only one
doing this.
It's a lot of people doing it,y'all doing this right.
So many people doing this work.
Speaker 3 (44:28):
Oh, patricia Hershey, the Nat Manifesto, the Nat Fest
, yeah, I mean, she's incredible, you know, there are there.
Speaker 2 (44:37):
yeah, so many people, so many people and, yeah, yeah,
so many people doing this work,and I think, like I just feel
something inside of me that says, like something is shifting and
I think you mentioned it too,isabel like something is like
(44:57):
it's time.
Yeah, it's something differentin the air, in the energy, like
I've been feeling it for a whilenow and it's gonna be something
that people didn't expect.
That's something I feel in myspirit.
Speaker 1 (45:14):
I agree I think Onika said it right now too like when
we talk about how everybodyalways wants to keep, you know,
everybody separate.
You know I'm like you said.
You know, onika, I'm anindividual, I'm gonna do my
thing.
I'm an individual and, yeah,you gotta do the work inside.
But I think, in a way, we'remeant to be a community, we're
meant to be with each other,we're meant to heal with one
(45:36):
another.
We're meant to, yeah, I have myweaknesses and I have my
strengths, but where myweaknesses are, guess what?
You get to be my strength andvice versa.
You know it's a give, it's atake.
It's like I get to see my lightin you and I can't see it in me
, and I think, like we're allconnecting back into in our own
circles or in our own ways, butlike coming back and bringing
(45:57):
into those communities andstarting that rather than being
so stuck in.
This is my bubble, this is myshell, this is the way, because
that's what I think we havealways been assimilated to do,
that's what they do, that's whatwe've been encouraged to do,
and it's like but that's not theway it was meant to be.
You go back into yourindigenous roots For me, like I
go back into my you know, andthat's not.
(46:19):
That wasn't the way my cultureis, that's not the way that you
know we were taught.
It was the whole different wascommunity.
So I think it's exciting.
I side note, I just have to sayI know there's some people
doing this work right now, butwatching you right now and
listening to you, I'm excitedjust right now.
Like I know you're stillgrowing, but like I'm like girl,
(46:40):
you're gonna be like circleshere, circles here, mentor here,
mentor there.
Like I don't just see you inyour little bubble of your space
, I see you like all over andI'm like excited to watch that
grow for you guys for you.
Speaker 2 (46:55):
I appreciate that.
I appreciate it and I do feellike, in the spirit of
authenticity and transparency, Ido feel like there are moments
where I don't.
I try to like downplay myself.
You know, like oh, and I've haddifferent people like speak
over my life and tell meotherwise.
But something I also share withpeople is it's not important
(47:17):
for somebody to tell you you'rebeautiful.
It's not important for somebodyto tell you you are amazing or
you're talented, like you gottavalidate yourself first.
And when I talk to people I'mtalking to myself.
It's a reminder to myself thatyou gotta see the light that God
gave you and stop downing it.
And once you stop downing it,watch, watch, just let it happen
(47:41):
.
Just let it marinate, cause it'stime to put it in a pot and
cook.
Speaker 3 (47:44):
Okay, I was talking about doubt last week.
I like a little bit of doubt.
Doubt is a big part of mypractice and I'll tell you why.
I'll tell you why Because if Iam too sure I'm not allowing new
things to come in and when Ihave a little bit of doubt
there's a little crack.
It's not enough to break, butit lets a little light in.
(48:07):
It might send me down a path.
I would not have gone down if Ihad been so stuck in what I
think is right, cause that's mything, what I can hold on real
tightly to something and let nolight in.
So doubt is my way of just keepletting that come in, because
there might be something elsethat I'm not considering.
(48:29):
I like to be open to that.
Speaker 1 (48:31):
I remember you saying doubt your face, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (48:38):
And I think, because I defined doubt differently,
then there's doubt that sort ofuproots you and sort of shakes
your foundation.
I'm talking about doubt as aform of a question, when you
allow yourself to sort of anunparaphrasing I can't remember
(48:59):
his name, neil deGrasse Tysonhere when standing on the edge
of a cliff, sort of at theprecipice of knowledge, and
there needs to be a little bitof room to be able to ask the
question at least out into theuniverse.
So doubt is my space.
Speaker 2 (49:16):
Yeah, it also and, like you said, I think in some
level it's like a reclaiming ofit, cause it also makes me feel
like it's also discernmentenabled to like just listen and
he's listening to a messagetoday and they were talking to
Bishop Delbronner and he wastalking about discernment and
(49:39):
being in a no and intuition andfor a long time, like we were
told not to listen to that andtold that it wasn't real.
I remember a sister on one of myshows talking about as children
we are like, our intuition ispushed down, because when we say
, mommy, I don't want to go onthat store and be quiet, come on
(50:00):
, let's go on this store, youdon't even ask, you don't even
inquire about why she feels thisway.
Or my daughter, she's an empathand there are people who she's
like hi, and there are somepeople who make her go small and
make her like and I payattention to that and when she
(50:22):
don't like that person, I moveand I keep my eye on that person
because it's something aboutthe intuition of a child that's
so deeply connected and I don'tignore that.
But it's something that we alsohave to get back to and listen
to.
So I appreciate that, what youjust shared and I'm gonna keep
(50:42):
that on my heart as I movethrough this thing called life.
Speaker 1 (50:47):
Well, I know that we're on a time crunch, as much
as I want to keep thisconversation going.
So and it's been an honor, likeI honestly listen to you all
day I think this is great.
I'm sure we'll see you again,can you?
Speaker 3 (51:00):
let her go.
Yeah, happy to be back this wasamazing.
Speaker 1 (51:03):
Yeah, can you let her know, like, where they can find
you, what, like all theinformation?
Speaker 2 (51:09):
Of course, you can find me on Instagram at
NayaBingaziAnnie, and I'm surethey'll put it in the caption,
so I'm not even gonna try tospell it.
So I have an event coming up Ifyou are local to the Bay our
next sisterhood show in person.
We're gonna be talking aboutthe power of sisterhood, but
(51:29):
more so specifically, we'regonna be talking about
competition, jealousy,challenges and the seeds that
were planted in that to make itso hard for black women to be in
relationship with one another,and also the grief of
relationship that we don'tacknowledge not romantic, but
actual friendships.
(51:50):
So we're gonna be talking aboutthat on October 15.
So go get your ticket and be inthe building, my book Master
and the Sisters Self to masterthe world around you.
It is a book and a workbook.
It's available on Amazon and,yeah, that's all the things.
Oh, and YouTube, it's the sameas my Instagram, so you can
(52:11):
subscribe there.
We'll be dropping more episodesof the sisterhood show very
soon.
Speaker 1 (52:17):
Perfect, all those links in the whole bio and it's
been a pleasure.
I love it.
Speaker 3 (52:23):
Anything else.
No, you were amazing.
I'm so glad that we got to be acommunity with one another.
Speaker 2 (52:30):
Yes, I'm so excited.
I hope that we can likecollaborate soon and build in a
different way.
Absolutely, thank you.
Speaker 1 (52:40):
Yes, thank you.
Thank you, all right guys.
Of course, talk to y'all later,bye, Bye you.
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