Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:08):
It's better to be a warrior and a garden than
a gardener in a war. And every day I want
to train myself to be prepared for a war, whatever
that war is, whether that's external or internal. And I
truly believe for me, my body is very physical. I
need to move and it gives me so much confidence.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
It gives me joy.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
It gives me happiness to be able to train, whether
it be in boxing or lifting or any type of
physical activity where I feel like I am strong and
I can take care of myself.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
If I need to. I hope I never have to
use that strength to defind myself. I hope I never do.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
But to just know if someone wanted to do something,
I would be able to take care of myself. That
gives me inner peace, that eliminates anxiety, that makes me
be able to walk in a room and see the
room and scan the room and say I got this.
I don't need to feel afraid for myself. And the
discipline of doing something painful every day, I think is
(01:06):
one of the most important disciplines that any human being
can have. Whatever that pain looks like for you, I
believe we must lean in the pain every day otherwise
pain is going.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
To lean into us.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
But if we're leaning into it first, when stuff happens,
it's like, yeah, I got this because I do this
every day. I'm not saying we should be a pain
eighty percent of our day, but maybe an hour thirty
minutes you should do something that makes you want to puke,
or makes you want to stop, or makes you want
to relax, because then when stuff really happens, you'll be relaxed.
(01:39):
And that's key for me, like lean into the pain
and recover at the same time. So I'm learning lessons
that every time I'm doing this, whether I'm lifting with
my lifting coach or boxing.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
With him, it's.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
I just feel so at peace afterwards. I'm like, man,
I know I can do this, and every day I
push myself.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
A little bit harder. It's like you just feel like
you can conquer anything. I don't want to be tested
in the real world.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
I'm like, someone brings a knife to me, I'm gonna run.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Away, you know. I mean, it's like I don't want
to be I hope I don't have to. But it's
just the confidence of the daily practice.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
So but I mean, the working out alone is not
enough I have been doing years of the inner work,
the inner workout, and it's all about the inner game,
as you know, the meditation practices, the visualization and the therapies,
the workshops, the just whatever it is, listening to the
shows like yours, reading books, whatever it is, constantly trying
(02:33):
to improve my mind and heal the soul. And I
think by integrating the daily pain of the physical body
and by integrating constant healing. And it's like things happen
every day to us where we could be triggered, So
we're got to be constantly like letting it go and
forgiving and moving beyond it.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
And the more I do that, the better I feel.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
And when I when I stop those practices, that's when
I feel like something's off of my life. It's the
emotional word too, It's like have you healed the past?
Have you forgiven? Are you still holding on to resentment?
If so, something is going to be off in your life.
It's the mental growth, like improving the mindset on a
daily basis improving the physical body. And then are you
(03:13):
releasing the emotions? Are you processing? Are you integrating the
lessons you've learned from the previous breakup into this relationship
or are you carrying things from the past, And it's
kind of that those three things really connecting. And then
if you have a spiritual you know practice as well.
I think really integrating that is something important and part
of my life. It was all physical and I got
(03:36):
physical results and was suffering emotionally. Then I started to
heal the emotional side and feel peace and sleep at
night for the first time, which I was like, oh
my god, I can sleep because I let go of
something that I was holding onto emotionally.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Then I was like, Okay, I don't.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
Feel like I'm that smart, so let me learn, let
me improve my mindset, let me get new skills. Now
I feel more confident, I'm increasing the mental capacity, and
I just feel so much better every day knowing that
I've done that work. And it's not enough to do
the work in the past. It's a continual process in
the present that makes me feel at peace every day.
(04:14):
Every experience and every breakdown and mistake I've made is
teaching you something to improve myself, to prepare myself or
something greater. You've got to do hard things every day
to earn your respect. I can't just show up on
a couch and do nothing and be like happy with myself.
I've got to contribute to society in some way. I've
got to contribute to family friends.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
That's what makes it meaningful.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
And you never inspired by the person who said, oh,
he sat in his couch all day and did nothing,
but he lived a comfortable life, So we should respect that.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
For me, okay, it's respectable. You're alive, you're existed, But
what did you contribute?
Speaker 1 (04:49):
How did you multiply your talents to serve something, something
greater than you, or someone greater than you or something.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
And so for me, I.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
Don't want to I want to be proud myself.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
I want to be proud of the.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
Things I say and following through on those things and
being integral with myself. I want to be proud of
the work that I create, the creativity I express, how
I treat and take care of my body, how I
take care and treat other people. I want to be
proud of those things. At the end of the day,
and I'm like, what could I do? How many more
people could I help by having that skill? One, I'll
(05:22):
be proud of myself, but I also be able to
contribute to more people and I'll be able to understand
more people, and I feel like, man, I'll be so
proud of myself to just be able to have a
conversation with someone, understand them, and then be able to
help them in some way. That would be worth it
for me, Like the years of practice and work and effort,
just to know I was able to develop a skill
that was hard, that took me twenty years to get
(05:44):
started and finally commit, I could die like a happy
person knowing if I did that with every part of
my life.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
What is your definition of greatness?
Speaker 1 (05:54):
Discovering your unique talents and gifts to pursue your dreams
and in that pursuit, making the maximum impact on the
people around you, that's greatness. The ability to have a
clear vision and see the steps, and the ability to
have a beginner's minds and find and surround myself by
great coaches and be unapologetic and asking for feedback. Feedback
(06:19):
has been a huge indicator of my success. I will
ask friends, Hey, what do you think is like the
one thing that you notice from afar?
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Do you think I could be doing better? What's the
thing you think like? Ugh?
Speaker 1 (06:30):
If I didn't do that, like everything would improve what's
the thing where I'm lacking, what's the thing I ask?
Speaker 2 (06:36):
Everyone? Give me feedback.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
I wasn't good at feedback until eight years ago because
I was living with a wound of abuse, of triggers
of anger or frustration.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
And I went through a workshop that literally for.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
Days had us I kild you, not hours and hours
and days had us sit there and take feedback from
everyone in the room about how we showed up in
that workshop. It was just like as exercises, whether it
was true or not, you just had to sit there
and look strangers in then eye where they tell you
you look this, you're this, you're this, and just be
(07:10):
like huh, and notice how it makes you feel. And
literally this exercise over and over for days got me
to realize that just because someone's giving you feedback doesn't
mean it's true about you, So don't take it personally
and see where is the truth in there and how
can you apply it. I was unable to take feedback
until eight years ago, unable. I couldn't do it. I
(07:32):
was like, don't tell me what to do, don't try
to change me. Screw you, I'm better than you at this.
You don't know what you're talking about it. It was like
a very active let me fight. You're trying to tell
me where I'm wrong. Well, here's where you're wrong, here's
where you suck.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
You need to prove this.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
It was very aggressive, and now I think it's everything's
a practice. It's like, okay, at first I didn't like it,
and now oh I got this one little piece of
feedback and I started applying it, and look how to
improved my life. I can see the meaning of feedback
and the value of it, and that has been a
practice that I think is a skill now that I
(08:06):
feel like it's a superpower. I'm not above anyone. Like
I will take feedback from any human being. Give me
a five year old kick, give me some feedback. You're
observing something about me.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
I'll listen.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
Sports was the greatest teacher for me growing up because
every day I got to be in the arena, I
got to practice something that I wanted to accomplish. I
got to improve on a skill set, whether it be
in basketball and it was a dribbling skill that I
wanted to learn, or a shooting drill or rebounding. There
was always a skill that I needed to improve upon. Football,
Like in sports, you never are You've never mastered really anything.
(08:42):
You can be great at something, but there's always another
level in sports to be better. Even the best basketball
players they miss a lot of their shots. It's like
you can always improve somewhere some skill set. So for me,
the application of seeing my own goals and seeing my
own dreams and then taking daily actions to improve on
those and make those goals come to reality, it was
(09:05):
the full circle moments that I created consistently.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
Here's the dream.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
Fifteen years later, it happened, seven years later, it happened
five years, twenty years.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
It was like seeing it.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Come to fruition was a big gave me the confidence.
Those results gave me the confidence. And then when I
started coaching other people on the seven eight years ago
in kind of the business world, in the online marketing world,
or just like their life goals, I just started seeing
it and be like, Okay, yeah, I see myself in you.
I see the problems that I had, what was struggling
(09:37):
for me. And if you just eliminate this limiting belief,
if you take this action, if you do this thing,
you should be there in six months, not six years.
And then they would do it and I was just
like awesome. So then show seeing those results in other people,
I was like, Okay, maybe this is a skill I
have for others, not just accomplishing goals myself. W