Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:09):
I kind of talk about people like automobiles. Right, we're
all human like, we're all automobiles. Some of us are jeeps,
some of us are Ferraris, some of us are SUVs.
And there's no judgment there because the jeep can do
things the Ferrari can't do. The Ferrari can do things
the jeep can't do. So the idea is, can you
lift your hood and figure out what engine you're working with,
because you may be a jeep that's been trying to
run on a Ferrari track or a Ferrari that's been
trying to run a jep track, And that's okay too.
(00:31):
If you're a jeep that's running on a Ferrari track,
if you choose to run on the fro track, that's fine.
But what you can say, hey, now I know some
of those things that I can do and develop so
that I can better run as a jeep on the
Ferrari track.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
It's all about how we.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
Show up and using what we have to the maximum capability,
find things that actually scare you a little bit. Right,
if you are our introvert. We just talked about introvert extrovert, Right,
I'm an introvert if you are an introvert, maybe you
sign up to give a talk in front of people, right,
Maybe you go walk up to people and introduce yourself
to strangers. I don't like heights, so roller coasters, I
(01:08):
can't stand them. So when I'm with my boys, you
know one of them does like roller coasters, say Okay,
I'm going to go on the roller coaster with you, right,
so I can practice this idea of working through fear,
because again, these life events that happened to us are
typically going to include that uncertainty portion. I mean that
first day of quarantine. You know, none of us knew
(01:30):
what was going on. All of us had uncertainty, and
those of us who understood what uncertainty feels like and
how to deal with it found ourselves fairly.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
You know.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Okay, pick a couple of different attributes that you think
have the biggest delta of impact on somebody's life if
they start to work on those, and also the greatest
ability for us to actually change those different characteristics.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Hands down, it's the grid attributes, and it's for of them.
It's courage, adaptability, perseverance, and resilience. I believe those are
probably the most important elemental attributes for human existence, right,
because those speak to how we operate in the world
in every capacity.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
Courage is stepping into our fear.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Right again, courage is you can't We've heard it all
the time, but people forget it cannot exist in the
absence of fear. And this has proved neurologically, right. Courage
is a switch and when we when we step into
when we choose the fight response, it's a specific switch
that that gets clicked in our brain which gives us
a dopamine reward. That choice doesn't happen unless fear is present. Right,
(02:38):
So so practicing courage is something that is always going
to get to help. People have to understand this. When
we get when we're given that choice fight or flight. Okay,
when we choose to fight, which means step into our fear,
our brain gives us, our body gives us a dopamine hit,
and dopamine the most powerful chemicalism planet right says.
Speaker 3 (03:01):
This is good. Keep doing this.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
It makes us feel good. It's also the root of
all addictive behavior. Right, Stepping into our fear feels good.
And so this is what we have to do. And
I think what you say is absolutely correct and what
the emphasis should be is the feeling afterwards, because if
people pick something small and do it, they're going to
feel great, you know, and it's because they're getting they're
(03:23):
getting hit with dopamine because of it, right, and then
they can step and try something else, you know, and
then try something else. But it could be karaoke, could
be karaoke, could be you know again, it could be
speaking in front. It could be starting a conversation. It
could be you know, I don't you name. It could
be listen if you're afraid of the water, it could
be swimming in a swimming pool, if.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
You're afraid of open waters.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
Most people are fine in swimming pools, whether it's the
it's the open water. It might be just swimming out,
you know, into the open water. But again, it could
be almost as simple as someone who is who is
and has been out of shape their entire lives and
they really want to get in shape.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
They don't know how to do.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
They say, well, maybe you know, they they maybe they
don't want to go start running or whatever. It's it's like, hey,
I'm gonna buy a pair of runing shoes. That's my
first step, you know. And then when I get in,
I'm gonna put the running shoes by the front door, okay.
And the next morning I'm actually to get up with
an alarm and I'm gonna put on my running shoes, okay,
And then the next day they do and then I'm gonna
(04:17):
put on my running shoes. I'm gonna walk outside. I mean,
you you can chunk this however you want. The idea
is to chunk it. You have to chunk it into
into sizes that are meaningful enough for you so that
when you accomplish it, you feel that feeling.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
Right, get that dopamine hit, because you will.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
Love it, you know, if you do it, and then
you'll feel it and you're like, Okay, I'm gonna do
it again tomorrow, or take the take the next step.
And even those steps don't have to be necessarily immediately sequential, right,
I mean, dipping your feet in the cold punch every
day for a week, might you know, might be fine
for you. And then you're gonna find that dopamine hit
(04:56):
doesn't feel. So here's a great example. I don't I've
said it many times.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
I'll it again.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
I don't like heights, okay, and so on every seal
base there's an obstacle course West Coast at Bud's East Coast,
and on every obstacle course there's a cargo net climb. Okay,
the cargo net climb is a sixty five foot net
that goes straight up and you basically climb up one
side and you once you're at the top, you.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
Flip over and then you climb down. Okay. For people
who don't like heights, it's it's tough, right.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Well, when I was even when I was in the teams,
i'd usually go whenever i'd go for a run, you know,
i'd plan my run that i'd go buy that cargo net,
and when I hit it, i'd climb to the top.
And at the top, which is the worst part, right,
I would just sit there, and sitting there, I could
feel I basically was breathing in the fear. You know,
(05:46):
I would feel nervous, you know, I'd just sit there
and I'd feel the wind and the sway and all
that stuff, and then I go down and then and
I'd do that over and over again. After a while,
you know, a week or maybe even two weeks. After
a while, when I got to the top, I wasn't
feel it. I feel awesome when I finished it. After
a while, I wasn't I wasn't scared anymore. It's called
it's it's basically innoculation. It's fear inoculation. But when you
(06:08):
inoculate yourself, you also lose the dopamine reward. Right, So
so if people are going to take these steps, they
have to take them in context with the size and
bite they want to take, and they have to recognize
take them until you're not getting that reward anymore. And
as soon as you don't get that reward or you
can need to up the anpty you know, and take
and take the next step, because you will inoculate yourself
(06:30):
after a period of time.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
This is courage. Let's go through the other ones.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
Okay, perseverance, So perseverance again, perseverance is interesting. What I
recognize with perseverance is, in fact, is a combination of
three things. It's a combination of persistence, tenacity, and fortitude.
And the reason why it's a combination of those things
is because persistence and tenacity people often think are synonymous,
but they're not. Persistence is I'm going to basically do
(07:00):
something over and over again until I get a result. Okay,
that's the stone cutter approach.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Right.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
The stonecutter taps the taps the stone in the same place,
you know, you know eighty times ninety times never sees anything,
and I'm a hundredth.
Speaker 3 (07:12):
Tap it breaks. Right, that's persistence.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
Sometimes persistence is required, you have to just just to
go a head down and do it. Tenacity is I'm
going to try something and if it doesn't work, I'm
going to try something else. I'm gonna change and try
something else. This is the car mechanic, right. The car
mechanic will check the belts first, I it's not the belts,
then they'll check the fuel injector or whatever. Right. You
(07:35):
don't want necessarily a persistent mechanic, right, because the persistent
mechanic is going to check the belts and then check
the belts again, and then check the belts again, check
the belt and you just get.
Speaker 3 (07:44):
A high bill.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
Right. You don't necessarily want a tenacious stone cutter, okay,
because the rock's never going to break. Okay, So you
have a balance between the two, and then you have fortitude.
Fortitude is really just that fortitude is really my and
I guess definition of what mental tughness really is.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
Fortitude is the ability.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
To kind of understand and move through either persistence and
tenacity and make stuff happen. Right, So those two are
buttressed by fortitude. All that combined is perseverance. Perseverance is
the ability to kind of move and step through, continue on.
So that's perseverance, and then we get adaptability. Adaptability is
(08:23):
everything in this universe changes, okay, without exception. I mean,
I don't think they found anything that doesn't change over
time in our physical world. I mean, we have to
recognize that the environment is going to change around us
outside of our control, and it will be impossible and
futile to push against it. Right, sometimes we just have
(08:43):
to adapt. This is the dinosaur or the fraud, right.
If you don't adapt, you go extinct. And so adaptation
is something that we all need if we want to
have overall total grit. So you have adaptability, and then
finally at resilience, and resilience is absolutely necessary for grit
because because grit involves the ability to kind of keep
doing it, you know, that's true greatest keep doing if
(09:05):
you're not, if you're not, if you get hit, you
and you're done, right, that's not grit you know, grit
involves the ability to kind of bounce back as well,
And so resilience is that, hey, I get knocked off baseline,
kind I bounce back to baseline either direction, right, because
because really, what what true grit and overall drive requires
is that we keep pushing through and not get sidelined
(09:28):
by the lows and the challenges, but also not get
seduced by the highs.
Speaker 3 (09:31):
Right.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
You know, sometimes those those small wins, they're great in
terms of getting us a little bit more of a
of a biochemical boost, But but we can't rest on
our laurels. We can't stop there, you know. And so uh,
and so resilience is about the ability to kind of
understand that elasticity of the process. And so those four
combined add up to overall grit. And again, grit speaks
(09:54):
to this kind of ability to move through these acute challenges.
You know that it is I think the most important.
If anybody wanted to kind of say, hey, I just
want to focus on four, those would be the four
to focus on.