Fifty Shades of Communication: The Truth About Sex Therapy - Part 1

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When certified sex therapist Terica Lewis sat down with us in the studio, we weren't sure what to expect. What followed was a refreshingly candid conversation that shatters misconceptions about what sex therapy actually involves. Contrary to media portrayals, it's not about teaching positions or techniques—it's about something far more fundamental to relationships.

"Two monologues don't make a dialogue," Terica explains, pinpointing the communication breakdown at the heart of most intimacy issues. The conversation explores how men and women approach relationships differently: women typically need emotional connection to feel desire, while men may prioritize physical aspects. When these different needs aren't understood, partners misinterpret each other's actions and intentions, creating a cycle of disconnection.

The discussion takes a particularly nuanced turn when addressing how aging affects intimacy. As couples enter their 40s, 50s, and beyond, physical changes naturally occur, but pride and embarrassment often prevent honest conversations. Men may struggle with erectile dysfunction but find it impossible to admit, while women experience their own physiological changes. Without communication, each partner creates their own narrative about why intimacy has decreased—usually blaming themselves or their partner incorrectly.

Terica offers practical insights for breaking these patterns, suggesting that couples shouldn't just discuss intimacy when there's a problem. Instead, partners should share thoughts during positive moments, even "debriefing" after intimate encounters to understand what worked and what could improve. This approach keeps communication flowing in a non-threatening context before small issues become insurmountable problems.

Join us for this eye-opening conversation that balances professional expertise with straightforward, common-sense guidance. Whether you're in a long-term relationship or just starting one, you'll gain valuable perspectives on improving both communication and intimacy. And don't miss our next episode as we continue the conversation with Terica about navigating differences in sexual adventurousness between partners!

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David R. Wright MA, LPC, CHT
The Motor City Hypnotist