October 10, 2025 • 54 mins
In this emotional interview, Tim shares his incredible story of walking 5,000 miles across borders just to see his family.
Separated from his wife and kids for 16 years because of immigration laws and financial hardship, Tim crossed from the United States to Mexico on foot three different times... driven by love, hope, and the pain of being apart.
This powerful story exposes the human side of immigration, the heartbreak, the sacrifice, and the relentless fight to keep a family together.
If Tim’s journey moves you, please share this video to raise awareness about family separation and immigration struggles. 💔
Would you walk 5,000 miles for the people you love?
Timothy's website: https://www.familyreunitenetwork.com/
Amazon Book Stumbling in the Dark Looking for the Light Switch: https://a.co/d/7neHod0
Additionally, you can now also watch the full video version of your favourite episode here on YouTube. Please subscribe, like or drop a comment letting us know your thoughts on the episode and if you'd like more stories going forward!
If you would like to offer any feedback on our show or get in touch with us, you can also contact us on the following platforms:
- Website: www.multispective.org
- Email: info@multispective.org
- Instagram: www.instagram.com/multispectivepodcast
- Facebook: www.facebook.com/multispectiveorg
- Reddit: www.reddit.com/r/multispective
Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/multispective
Producer & Host: Jennica Sadhwani
Editing: Stephan Menzel
Marketing: Lucas Phiri
Fatty15 promotes healthy metabolism, balanced immunity, and heart health. 2 out of 3 customers report near-term benefits, including calmer mood, deeper sleep or less snacking, within 6 weeks. 20% off on purchases link and code: ...
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_02 (00:04):
My real father was a pedophile.
We would have our stuff stolento be sold so it could fuel his
alcohol.
I've I've been working since theage of 10.
I wish that I earned enoughmoney immediately after uh high
school.
I was into the the boot camp formilitary.
(00:27):
I had my wife and kids, theywere living in Mexico.
She spoke no English and I spokeno Spanish.
For 16 years, 17 years, we wereseparated.
And so I walked from Virginia toMexico to see my daughter for
the first time.
I walked from uh July toOctober.
(00:49):
It turns out that I was actuallyillegally in their country.
SPEAKER_01 (00:57):
Timothy, why don't you start from the very, very
beginning?
SPEAKER_02 (01:00):
Man, there there's so many things that lead us to
where we are uh in the day, youknow.
With my childhood, my childhoodwasn't the greatest.
And honestly, that's the thingabout me personally is that my
childhood beyond before aboutthe age of roughly nine, I
actually don't remember.
And maybe that's a mental blockto help save my mentality, my my
(01:24):
mind from the issues that wehad.
My real father was a pedophile,pled guilty to my sister.
So, you know, our childhood wasupended from that.
After that, you know, um myadolescence uh was not as great
either.
Uh we it was better than beingstuck in that situation.
(01:46):
Our mother did everything shecould to protect my sister, to
protect us, me and my brother,from from that devastation, and
she she did all she could.
You know, she was the backboneof our family.
She was the strength when therewasn't any, even when she didn't
have strength.
She was the strength that thatcarried us all through.
(02:09):
But she happened to to jump intoa relationship with a man that
was an alcoholic, which thenteenage years wasn't that great
either.
It happened to be a huge ordealwhere, you know, screaming,
fighting, loud music, we wouldhave our stuff stolen, you know,
(02:32):
I would have toys, you know,other things of that nature that
was stolen to be sold so itcould fuel his alcohol.
We would pick up the aluminumcans off the street to uh help
get money for the family, but wedidn't have a lot of money.
So there there was all types ofissues throughout my childhood
(02:53):
that, you know, uh did moredamage than what I had thought.
Obviously, if I can't rememberbefore the age of eight, you
know, that that says a lot initself.
And then, you know, having analcoholic stepfather with all
those issues and and all thoseproblems.
I've I've been working since theage of ten.
(03:14):
So I've been I was when I wasstarting work, I was doing
mowing lawns, washing cars,walking dogs, cleaning out home.
Everything that I could to kindof help our family out be able
to eat and survive, you know.
So it wasn't it wasn't forcedupon me uh by any means.
(03:34):
It was it's something that wasinside me, I guess, that said, I
want to help my mom out as muchas I possibly can, and that was
the the best way that I knewhow.
SPEAKER_01 (03:44):
The person that you're supposed to like rely on
and trust and you know, kind ofbe such a huge disappointment in
that sense.
And I'm sort of curious as tobefore all of you guys that your
dad was kind of doing all ofthis stuff, at least your sister
he pled guilty.
How did it come out to thefamily the very first time?
SPEAKER_02 (04:00):
I I honestly don't know.
Really, honestly do notremember.
I remember a little bit of thecourt dates, the stuff that
happened after the the fact whenwhen everything really started
to to go in through.
Honestly, my mind is is a blank.
When people say, What was yourchildhood like?
Where were you?
How was it?
(04:21):
That is one of the the mostdifficult things, although at
the same time, it's alsopossibly why I'm in a better
situation than what my brotherand sister is right now.
I'm not all put together, youknow.
But my sister, when she wasyounger, she was in and out of
psych facilities and things ofthat nature.
(04:42):
My brother, it becameself-sustained.
He didn't he didn't talk abouthis feelings.
It really affected him as well,but in in a different sense.
So um there's a lot that I don'tknow about.
And unfortunately, my mother haspassed now, so even if I was to
like say, okay, I want to findout some information, what was
(05:03):
it like?
How did it happen?
Those answers are no longerthere.
My real father is still alive,but it's not something that I
want to discuss with he about atall, whatsoever.
SPEAKER_01 (05:14):
What is your relationship with your siblings
like?
And how much do they kind ofremember having to be?
SPEAKER_02 (05:19):
No, we our our relationship is strained.
My brother doesn't really liketo talk whatsoever.
I talked to him maybe onChristmas or around that time
and around his birthday.
I would stop by when I was inAmerica when I was there, I
would stop by his work, youknow, and see him for a short
(05:39):
moment or two.
My sister, she has her ownissues even to this point in
time.
She does still talk to me orcommunicate with me through
social media.
So our our communication islittle to none.
The thing, the biggest thing forme is that I wish that I could
help them.
I wish that I earned enoughmoney that I could say, okay, my
(06:02):
brother, here here's the money.
This is what's gonna help you.
We're gonna clean your slate,pay off your bills, my sister,
hey, what do you need?
What can we do for you?
But I don't even I don't evenhave that capabilities of barely
feeding myself and my family,let alone anything else.
So because of our our lifestyleand how we were in our our our
(06:25):
poor poor situation, it's one ofthose things where I happen to
not be able to afford those typeof things to be able to help the
way I would like to help.
I really do wish I could domore.
SPEAKER_01 (06:38):
It sounds like you remember more about your teenage
years.
What was that like for you, youknow, going to school, making
friends, having role models,having males around?
Did you kind of feel like a lackof trust in men?
SPEAKER_02 (06:50):
I was known by everybody, but known by nobody.
I was always the one that wasbullied or teased in schools.
I went to four or five differentelementary schools.
My real father was military.
So my brother, born California,I was born Ohio, my sister Rhode
(07:10):
Island.
No, there wasn't a solid, okay,this is where we're living.
We've lived here for 20 yearsnow, and all that.
I went to two different middleschool or junior high schools.
I was able to attend one highschool, and that's really where
I was, but I was not involved inthe school whatsoever.
I never got involved, I wasalways working, so it wasn't
(07:34):
like I had free time to just gohang out with people, even if I
wanted to.
There was a place um called GameMasters that was a very big part
of my adolescence.
I had my escape from my realityin that place.
I was the one that would sitmore up front towards the class
than the back of the class.
(07:55):
I was the one that would be, youknow, more quiet than anybody.
I would not interact withpeople.
I had my own worries at home,you know, couldn't bring friends
home, things of that nature,even if I made friends.
There's certain schools thathave certain cliques, you know,
certain types of people, thepopular kids, the the the goth
(08:16):
kids, the the Christians, theyou know, uh so we had all those
clicks and stuff, and I knewsomebody from each different
click, you know.
I I knew everybody, andeverybody knew me, but they
didn't know me.
Right immediately after uh highschool, I was into the the boot
camp for military.
I enjoyed the the people there,but because of my issues from my
(08:42):
childhood, they actually caughtup to me while I was in the
military.
And I actually was supposed toum be in there for a lot longer
than what I was supposed to be.
So I went in in the year 2000and I got out at year 2002.
I really didn't realize how muchmy stepfather had affected my
life until a military buddy andI, he went to go into another
(09:07):
state overnight.
So he needs somebody to drivewith him.
So um, but there was a song thathad came on the radio uh that
really struck a chord with mefor some reason.
And it came out of the blue.
I didn't realize it uh at thetime, but I just started
bawling.
It was one of those loud songsthat my my stepfather would
(09:28):
play, and he asked me if if Iwanted him to change it.
And I said, no, let's let itplay three.
I didn't understand what wasgoing on, but that was kind of
the start of the downfall of ofmy military career.
I didn't realize how much I wasaffected by things.
(09:48):
From the bad comes the good.
And honestly, the thing is, isthat I would have never been in
the the movie theater to meet mywife where that took place.
That that was one of the bestthings and one of the most
stressful things that hashappened to me in my life.
SPEAKER_01 (10:04):
So people say that in the healing journey it's
important to tap into some ofthe hardest times that you know
you've experienced and sort oflike learn to communicate with
that inner child and forgive andkind of move on, because if you
live with that memory eitherrepressed or that memory kind of
not allowing it to resurface,then you're not really giving
your body and your mind a chanceto sort of really, you know, dig
(10:28):
deep and come out of it in ahealthy way that kind of your
body and your mind needs.
Was that the first time that youtold someone about what was the
trigger and what what had reallybeen going on in your life?
Would you say that that was thevery first time you'd shared it?
SPEAKER_02 (10:42):
Probably.
I still I'd never really havetalked openly about my my uh
real father, you know, becauseagain, not the memory of it, my
stepfather.
Uh that was probably one of thefirst times that really things
just kind of flooded out, uh tosay.
And we're actually still goodfriends to this day.
(11:03):
We still reach out to each othereven now.
But yeah, it was probably one ofthe first times that I actually
kind of confronted it, tried todeal with it as best as I could.
When I was in the military, theyhave therapy sessions and things
that nature to try to figure outwhat what it is and all that
stuff.
Because I was having backissues, you know, I've never had
(11:25):
back issues, but back spasms andthings that nature.
I never ri connected the dotswith the psychological portion
of that, how your body reactsunder stress and under anxiety
and and all that stuff, and it'sit's it's a different different
(11:45):
levels of how you deal withthings that how your body
responds to to the stresslevels, you know.
It's our bodies react in so manydifferent ways to the stresses
of what is presented to us.
And so, you know, dealing withthe life and the way it was, you
know, I never focused on it.
I was always focused in on work.
(12:05):
As they say, busy hands keep youfrom getting into trouble, and
that's kind of what it was.
My hands were digging for thethe work that I was doing
constantly, just constantlycycling the jobs and not really
focused in on the trauma that Ithat I was living through.
SPEAKER_01 (12:23):
Can you walk me through how did sort of this
military thing come to an endand sort of how you met your
wife?
Because that's it that's such anbeautiful story of its own.
SPEAKER_02 (12:33):
Absolutely.
So it was 2002, so this wasafter September 11th attacks.
I was in during the time ofthat.
So that really had a greateffect on a lot of people.
You know, um, my job dealt withwar.
I was a Ford observer for thefield artillery.
So that's where you look for theenemy while the enemy's looking
(12:54):
for you, and you call theartillery to tell them to blow
them up.
That's what my job was in themilitary.
And I never got to actually domy job.
I was part of a headquartersheadquarters battery.
About six months after I finallygot out.
My wife, we met end of 2006,beginning of 2007, and that's
where our our story started.
(13:15):
I happened to move back toVirginia to help assist my mom.
Tried to help support her in anyway that she needed because she
was having issues living with mysister, you know, during that
time and stuff.
My mom was diabetic, was havingcataracts, she's had strokes,
she had a triple bypass.
(13:37):
She's had so many issues.
It actually came down to whereat the end of her life they were
starting to have to amputate herlegs a piece at a time.
So I'm in America, in Virginia,and I'm working uh at a movie
theater, and my wife happens tocome and she's working there as
(14:00):
an overnight crew now.
So to to give you an idea, sheis Mexican.
She's working in the movietheater, she works there
overnight as a cleaning crew.
I worked there during the day,and it was one of those things
because she spoke no English andI spoke no Spanish.
So actually, our very firstdate, she actually had a friend
(14:20):
of a friend come along totranslate for us.
So it was something um she hadtwo kids in in Mexico that she
was trying to earn money to tryto help her kids out.
Her boy, he has cerebral palsy.
In Mexico, you're not given manyopportunities to live life.
And um there's not much that youcan do for earnings, and not
(14:41):
much you can do for the healthof a sick child like that.
But they did have a class thatwould help teach her, and she
would take those lessonsbasically back home and help the
child out if she could.
So she actually had to haveherself, her sister, and her
mother work on this child all atonce.
(15:01):
One working the arms, oneworking the legs, one working
the head.
So basically helping the motorfunctions of this child.
And so that she came to Americato to do that the work and to to
attempt to support them and andyou know give them that proper
life.
And um, it just happened to bethat she was there working
(15:22):
overnights in the theater.
I was working during the days, Iwas always there.
I was at night when we arelooking to close.
There was one time she showed uplike three, four hours prior to
us even closing.
I didn't know what she was doingor why she was there, but in my
mind, I'm like, what is thiswoman doing here?
She's crazy.
And I and I said the word justin passing, I said, You're
(15:46):
local, why are you here soearly?
And I just kept on going to domy work, not realizing that to
them, when you call them crazy,they're gonna show you crazy.
They take very offense to beingcalled crazy, and and um, and so
it's because she couldn't speakto me, she really wanted to cuss
me out.
So she actually took like a weekor two to try to learn English
(16:09):
to cuss me out.
And so the one time that sheactually finally started to talk
to me, the only thing she couldreally do was ask me my name.
And from that, I'm like, youknow what, I'm gonna take a
chance.
I want to know who she is, moreabout her.
And so I brought this dictionarywith me and just went word by
word, single word at a time, andwe figured it took us about two
(16:32):
hours, but we figured out likefour different things about each
other, you know, what our agewas, what our relationship
status was, whether or not wehad kids, and like the phone
number to call each other.
It's astronomical for for us tobe able to be there and have
that moment.
So it was very unique, and it'ssomething that has given me the
(16:53):
fortitude to be able to pushmyself beyond all normal
measures.
And so we started arelationship, she became
pregnant at seven months'pregnancy.
Her mother found out she waspregnant and didn't like that
idea, and so what took place atthat point in time, her mother
calls up and says, Look, I'm notgonna watch your children
anymore.
You gotta figure out what you'regonna do.
(17:14):
And so we did the only thingthat we knew, which was to put
her on the next bus back.
Those kids had to come first,even though she was seven months
pregnant, and so um that's howwe got separated.
And for 16 years, 17 years,that's what it was.
We were separated for that long.
And this is again where youknow, those things you question
(17:36):
whether you've made the rightchoice.
What steps could I have taken?
But the thing is, if you look atwhat you should have done and
you're not looking forward, allyou're gonna do is trip over
what's in front of you.
You know, I should have donethis, I could have done this, I
would have done this, if thisonly happened, if this only took
place, those things will stopyou from living your life.
(17:58):
Those those moments will willprevent you from looking at the
possibility of what is in frontof you.
I'm here in Mexico now, but itit took years upon years to do
that.
My and a lot of a lot ofmissteps, a lot of issues, a lot
of problems.
SPEAKER_01 (18:18):
What were the main sort of reasons for why you
weren't able to go to Mexico atthose in those years?
Was it job and work or was itvisa-related?
SPEAKER_02 (18:26):
A combination of things.
So what took place for us wasimmigration, finances.
I don't have, you know, any ofthe financial stability that's
needed.
I was completely ignorant to howimmigration works and and didn't
understand the the steps that ittook for for it.
(18:47):
I don't agree with illegalimmigration.
I don't agree with it.
People are paying these peopleto get them across illegally.
The same amount, they're payingthem the same amount as if it
was to get them here legally.
The only difference really iswhat boils down to is that you
have one person telling you, I'mgonna get you across no matter
(19:10):
what, because if they don't getthem across, then they don't get
their money.
Then you have another persontelling you, I'll get you
across, but if I can't get youacross, then we're gonna have to
start from the beginning andyou're gonna have to repay
everything and then go throughthe process again, and and
you're looking at years andyears and years of being
separated from family, and thethese moments that mattered.
(19:32):
I missed my daughter's firststeps, her first words, her her
her first birthday.
I missed all of that, and that'sstuff you cannot get back.
So I understand the the plightof the people wanting to come
and and build a better life forthemselves.
Immigration was the one thingthat kept us apart.
So during 2008, we'll go to therecession time period, and
(19:56):
during this time period it washard for a lot of people.
I was working for BMW at thetime.
I had finished my degree in2007.
I was working for Target, I wasworking two jobs.
I was taking care of my motherin America, making sure our rent
was paid, making sure all thebills were taken care of, and
then I had my wife and kids,they were living in Mexico, and
(20:17):
I was taking care of them.
SPEAKER_01 (20:18):
So I was taking care of sorry, were you married at
that point as well?
Like had you already gottenmarried at that point?
SPEAKER_02 (20:24):
So by by legal standards, no.
It wasn't until 2010 that wewere officially married.
And people say, Well, if you'remarried, can't she just come?
And that's a lot of misnomicthat a lot of people don't see
or understand.
It's not if, oh, once you'remarried, she's automatically
able to come.
You still have to file papers,you still have to show proof
(20:46):
that you can support them.
During that time, I was makingenough money to help support
them.
And I this was in my infancy ofimmigration.
I still had no idea whatimmigration was.
I was working 80 hours a week.
I wasn't it wasn't like, oh, Ihave free time, I can go look at
a book, I can go do this and godo that.
(21:08):
It was just work, have maybemaybe four hours of time to
myself sometimes in the day.
You know, it just depends.
And during the time though, Ihad gotten laid off from my BMW
job.
So at this point in time, I'mlike, so what am I supposed to
do?
I was taking care of all thesebills, I just lost my job.
Now I'm not able to pay thesebills, I'm not able to take care
(21:31):
of this situation.
My daughter was already over ayear old at that time, and I
still did not get to see her.
You know, um, one of the thingsthat forced my hands into what I
did was she was severely sick.
And even at that point in time,I couldn't really talk to my
wife.
We we had better conversations,we could still communicate
(21:52):
better than what we firststarted out as, but it was one
of those things where ourcommunication wasn't great,
especially when it comes down tofinances as well as medical
issues.
I happened to call a friend upin Texas, he was from Mexico.
So I called him, I said, Hey,can you call my wife?
Find out what's going on,because the only word that I
(22:14):
could understand was appendix.
That's what I understood from mywife.
And when you talk the appendix,that's a severe issue,
especially when you're talkingabout a year old.
And so the issue there was thatwhen she happened to be she got
sick, they tried to treat hersickness, my child's sickness,
and she became worse.
And come to find out she wasactually allergic to penicillin.
(22:37):
So that's what actually made herappendix swell.
Once they got that taken careof, then you know, she was okay.
But it was at that point in timeI have no money for a bus
ticket.
I have no money for a planeticket, I have nothing.
And so at that very point intime, I'm like, the only thing
that I that was free to me,which was walking.
(22:58):
And so I walked from Virginia toMexico to see my daughter for
the first time.
SPEAKER_01 (23:04):
Virginia to Mexico.
Can you tell me how many milesis that?
SPEAKER_02 (23:08):
Four thousand miles.
Oh my god.
Four or five thousand miles, allthe way to where well we live in
Acapulco, Mexico.
So that's all the way down southon the the west coast side of
Mexico, right kind of where itbends, is right where Acapulco
is.
And that's wh my whole intentionreally was to walk even through
Mexico.
(23:28):
It wasn't really until I got toAmarillo, Texas, um, where I was
at after the military andeverything, and I was staying on
a friend's couch there duringthat time, and the news popped
up, and they stated howdangerous Mexico was, and that
they advised Americans not totravel through Mexico.
(23:48):
I'm like, I'm already made itthis far.
What am I supposed to do now?
I'm gonna walk through Mexiconow.
So I had to do a little researchand stuff.
Unfortunately, I don't know whyduring the time um Greyhound ran
throughout the country duringthat time, but you could not buy
a ticket from uh Amarillo to getdown to all the way down to
(24:11):
Acapulco.
You actually had to get to theborder of like El Paso, right on
the border, and then you couldbuy a ticket that would get you
all the way down to Acapulco.
So I had basically walked therest of the way to the bus
station there and was able topick up a bus and get myself the
rest of the way to to Acapulco.
(24:32):
In all reality, as much as Idon't agree with illegal
immigration, it turns out that Iwas actually illegally in their
country for the first time.
I had no clue, not for the firstmonth.
You're supposed to get a visa, atourist visa, and that gives you
that gives you six months ofstay time.
And I wasn't aware of all ofthat.
So when I got on the bus, Idon't know how I got through,
(24:54):
but I got through and I was ableto go all the way to Acapulco.
It wasn't until a month laterthat I realized, oh, I'm
supposed to have this visa.
We had to go to the immigrationand and deal with all that
during that time.
But I was able to hold mydaughter for the first time, and
that's that's what mattered.
SPEAKER_01 (25:11):
Yeah.
I'm curious, I I do want to talka little bit more about the
journey to start off with.
How did you prepare yourself?
What did you choose to carrywith you?
SPEAKER_02 (25:18):
My my life prepared me for this moment.
The military, you know, walk andyou run and you do all these
things and and your body buildsyou for it.
So doing all that, that kind ofprepared me for that.
But actually, the first initialwalk that I had done actually
had failed.
I went out and I walked fromVirginia Beach to Chesapeake,
(25:40):
Virginia.
It's just one city basicallyover.
Um I had a little luggage cart,one of those little luggage
carts that's foldable that youcarry with you in the airport so
you can carry your your luggagethrough the airport.
I had a luggage attached tothat, and that actually failed.
I tried, you know, but I'm like,you know, this failed.
(26:03):
Now what do I do?
So I took about a week.
I regrouped, I grabbed mymilitary duffel bag, I made a
little cord with two cliff hooksand some 550 parachute cord, and
so that way it would alleviatesome of the stress on my
shoulders.
But I went ahead and filled mymilitary duffel bag and carried
(26:23):
that with me for the rest of theway for the first time.
That was the first trip.
I've actually walked the countrythree times.
SPEAKER_01 (26:30):
That is a huge feat.
I don't think there's manypeople out there in the world
that has done anything likethis.
Like you would have reach out tosome news channels and told them
that you did this, like thatwould be for a story, wouldn't
it?
SPEAKER_02 (26:42):
Uh you know, and that's the thing is that I will
hope one day that maybe my voicewill be heard.
I'm hoping for is is to be ableto to be maybe an inspiration
for somebody else and say, youknow what, if he can do this, I
can do this.
SPEAKER_01 (26:58):
How many days did it take you?
Like how long did it take you toget there?
SPEAKER_02 (27:02):
So I walked from yeah, I walked from uh July to
October.
Took me four months to to do mysecond walk.
And I on that second walk I waswalking with a a rickshaw cart,
what they call a rickshaw cart.
It was basically uh a dolly, adolly that you would carry boxes
with and stuff.
You see these Coca-Cola and allthat stuff.
(27:25):
And then I had a three-foot bythree-foot cargo box attached to
the dolly that I pulled behindme with a one of those harnesses
that people happen to hang offthe side of buildings to clean
the windows with and stuff.
Yes.
I created that system where theharness would help pull the
(27:45):
weight.
The the first walk really taughtme about my second walk.
When it starts to downpour rain,you're just stuck in it.
There is no, oh, I'm gonna goinside to to get out of the
rain.
You know, so my first walktaught me about my second walk.
And my second walk was more soit was about two two reasons why
(28:05):
I did it.
One was to raise awareness aboutfamilies being separated and
having all those things.
SPEAKER_01 (28:12):
Just just to kind of delve a little bit more into the
journey, the w that very firstwalk, if you can just walk me
through, how did you sort of go?
You mentioned it was like aboutfour four months.
That was exactly so.
I'm guessing the first one mighthave been even longer, isn't it?
SPEAKER_02 (28:25):
Well, honestly, it was actually faster, a lot
faster.
SPEAKER_01 (28:28):
Okay.
SPEAKER_02 (28:29):
But so to to get into the the first walk, what
really took place with that wasthat I had no clue.
I had a destination.
This is where I need to be, thisis how I'm gonna get there.
I'm gonna walk.
There was a little bit ofplanning because again, you
didn't have the GPS like you donow.
Again, uh a man of no money, Idon't have access to those
(28:51):
expensive phones at that time.
So I went to MapQuest.
This was before Google Maps.
unknown (28:58):
Right.
SPEAKER_02 (28:59):
I went to MapQuest and I printed out my my route.
I printed it out and said, okay,this is the route that I need to
take.
Okay, how am I gonna get there?
And and so I basically printedout sheet by sheet, you know,
and and and had an idea of whereI was going.
And the thing is that peoplewould pick me up and and help me
(29:20):
get around faster, mostlyusually police officers.
They're like, I want you in mytown.
So honestly, they were beingnice and helpful, but they're
like, I can get you out of mytown, I can get you to the
county line of my my district,you know, and and then drop you
off and you continue on yourway.
Any little bit of help helped,you know, any little bit of
(29:43):
support like that helped me.
During that time, I made itstill lost in essence of where I
was headed because I had acertain route.
This is where I was going.
But when somebody picks you up,they're like, Oh, I know a
better route for you, you shouldgo here.
And then you're You're at theirfree will.
You know, at that point in time,you're kind of like just along
(30:04):
for the eye.
So they would drop you off, andthen I'd be way off the the map
that I originally printed.
I'm like, okay, now what do Ido?
How do I go to this location orthis place?
So they might have given me like$20 or something.
I would go to the local gasstation and pick up a uh pick up
a local map to kind of find myway back to where I needed to
(30:27):
be.
So and that happened multipletimes with police picking me up,
with you know, um people pickingme up.
So it actually took me about twoweeks to get where I needed to
be.
Now the bus took about threedays or so to get from the
border all the way to Acapulco,and even still, man, I didn't
know Spanish really well at thattime either.
(30:49):
And I actually had I was told tostay on the bus, but it actually
took me into the oppositedirection of where I was going
uh to Acapulco, so I had to staythere for a while before I could
get onto the next bus.
SPEAKER_01 (31:03):
And how were you sort of like financing in terms
of like where you were stayingand your food, like where were
you sleeping in those days?
SPEAKER_02 (31:09):
Outside.
Outside.
Yep.
SPEAKER_01 (31:13):
So you you're really, really like vulnerable
in a sense to being robbed,being you know, hurt, being
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (31:20):
So what I would be is I would not walk during the
night.
For me, it was a no-no because Iwanted to make sure that I was
visible.
So sun goes down, I go down.
Sun comes up, I get up.
So when I left, the very firsttime I left, it was in February.
So we're talking freezingweather.
There was one time where I wokeup and my feet literally felt
(31:42):
like I was walking on blocks ofice, like I could not feel my
feet whatsoever.
I did have a a uh a sleeping bagthat I would rest on and I would
try to cover myself up, thingsof that nature.
I would use the military duffelbag as a pillow, but yeah,
during the first walk ithappened to be that where I
would rest is just off on theside of the road and and uh that
(32:06):
would be it.
The second walk taught me aboutthe first walk, and I had uh the
dolly in the box created it towhere the the lid would open up
and would give me space to beable to sleep, not directly on
the ground and stuff.
So, you know, I would use thatbox as as my shelter um and and
(32:28):
things of that nature.
I was fortunate for the helpthat I did get.
I was able to to get a busticket, you know, that got me to
to see my wife and kids.
SPEAKER_01 (32:38):
Was there at any point, did you actually find
yourself in danger?
SPEAKER_02 (32:42):
There there were uh sometimes there was more of the
police that tried to warn meabout things, especially going
through Memphis and Nashville.
Those were the two areas thatwere the worst in crime and
things of that nature, that thepolice were really concerned for
my safety and telling me to tryto move.
Usually what I would do is mywhole goal was I would walk for
(33:03):
at least 12 hours a day and Iwould clear at least 25 miles a
day.
So, you know, I would make sureeither I would be walking
through the town and be on thebasically at the other end of
the town, or if it was gettingreally late, I would stop right
before the town and then stopthere.
(33:25):
So I wouldn't be in a a city ora town or something along those
lines where I wouldn't bebothering people or people
wouldn't be bothering me.
Uh, there was in New Mexico,there was actually a sign that
said, keep your kids and petsclose, wolves in the area.
You know, I'm like, yeah, whathappens if I actually happen to
get into something like that?
(33:47):
Um, so there was there I had atornado that had touched down a
mile off of my path.
I actually had hunkered down.
That was one day that I didhunker down in a in a hotel, and
I'm fortunate, very fortunate,because as I uh it was a huge
storm, torrential downpour rain,everything, and um I happened to
(34:08):
stay in this hotel.
But as I was walking the nextday, I heard that there was a
tornado touchdown literally amile off the path of what I was
walking.
If I was in the middle of astorm, there were several times
that there were heavy downpourrains and stuff in storms.
So what I would do is I wouldbasically crawl inside the box.
The box was only three foot bythree foot.
(34:31):
I'm a six-foot person, so youhave to imagine.
But I would cram myself intothis box, close the lid, and
hang on for dear life, you know,hoping, you know, that I'd ride
out the storm in the box.
SPEAKER_01 (34:44):
I just can't even like picture how this must have
kind of like looked.
But do you feel like even interms of some of the the the
people that you met that helpedyou along the way, the
conversations that you had withsome people, you know, even some
of the beautiful sceneries andsites that you kind of saw, like
can you walk talk to me aboutsome of those?
SPEAKER_02 (35:02):
Absolutely.
You know, there was um oh awoman by the name of Karen
Niles.
She was going through cancertreatments and stuff, and she
was on remission during thetime, but she was saying that it
was just starting to come backand that she was starting to
have to go through thesetreatments, and um, she was
getting these meal tickets andthings of that nature, and she
(35:25):
had brought in me some some foodand and shared her story with
me.
And I'm like, she's goingthrough all of this, and yet
she's still kind enough to tobring me some food, even though
in the midst of what she wasgoing through, and keeping up, I
did it wasn't until years later,but learning of her, she had
(35:45):
actually passed due to thecancer.
Um, I had one other person thatfollowed me all the way from not
physically followed me, but hadfollowed me kind of all the way
throughout my trip, and he'sactually the reason why I was
able to get back on my secondtrip called his name was David
Cook.
And I actually in my book I havea whole chapter on him, but he
(36:09):
was my my main support inessence for my trip walking all
the way from Virginia toCalifornia, and he is the reason
why I was able to get back asquickly as I was back to
Virginia and then go see mydaughter for her third birthday.
That was my whole second trip.
The third birthday and theteenth birthday are like the
(36:32):
most important birthdays, and soI made it a point that I would
make it no matter what to seeher third birthday, and so I was
able to do that.
I did make it all the way toCalifornia, but by the time I
got to California, my body wastorn apart.
I mean, my legs were rubbed raw,I had blisters on my feet,
(36:53):
everything was falling apart,and so I actually had made a
decision.
I had to call my wife and say,Look, I'm I've made it this far.
You know, basically I had cutthe trip on my initial plan to
cut it short.
I I made it to California, and Iwas gonna make it all the way to
San Diego, California.
But I was right at a point ofright on the border of Arizona
(37:16):
and California, and I called upmy wife.
My body was burnt, beaten,bloody, all of that stuff.
This was in the summer months,so the hottest you could imagine
it was there, and so you know,first trip winter, second trip
summer.
Not good choices.
I went ahead and I stoppedthere.
There were so many people thatdid treat me with kindness and
(37:39):
stuff.
Um, many people didn'tunderstand why I was doing what
I was doing.
Now I had a big box on the back,and it would say, What would you
do on the back and the top ofit?
So when it's lifted up, youcould still see the message.
On the sides, I actually had aan image of my family, about
three or four different imageson the side of the box, and it
(38:01):
said, Have you seen this familyat the top?
Like a a missing, you know,missing person, have you seen
this family?
And on the bottom of it, I said,Neither have I.
And so it was the the referenceof, you know, have you seen this
family?
And so it was my attempt to torelay a message to people to
say, This is the family, this iswhat I'm missing.
(38:23):
Some people would take it as anan actual, how are they missing?
What happened to them?
People were questioning things.
I I didn't get a chance to bringthem to America, and this was in
2010 when I did that walk.
So my my youngest would havebeen three at the time,
obviously.
She was just turning three.
(38:43):
My second child would have beensix, and my oldest child would
have been nine.
Still young enough to get themto come to America and and start
their lives in America and doall of that.
And but I I didn't get enough myand so I did everything that I
could, and I'm still doingeverything I can.
I'm forty-five years old, I'mabout to have a child, and I
(39:07):
have forty-two days to make adifference for this child, and
that's what I'm trying to doright now.
Every single step of the way,every single day, uh I am
pushing myself.
So the thing is that I was neverthere for my child when she was
growing up.
Right now, everything iscompletely new to me.
My wife left at seven months'pregnancy, and I never got to
(39:28):
see any of that pot type of lifefrom seven months pregnancy all
the way up to a year and fourmonths old.
You know, so I I missed all ofthat.
And those kids needed me, and Imissed their lives so much, and
it wasn't a choice that I madeeasily.
I'm very blessed for for thewoman that I call my wife,
(39:50):
because not a lot of women cancan put up with that.
You know, there's she is the thereason why the kids respect me
the way they do.
It was because of her that thatI have the presence in their
life even though I wasn'tpresent.
Due to immigration, due todistance, be due to the
(40:10):
financial situations.
I I was earning money, but itwasn't enough to sponsor my
family to come to America.
And and because of that, youknow, they were having to stay
in Mexico.
And eventually they grew up.
You know, their roots becameMexico and their dreams no
longer entailed coming toAmerica.
SPEAKER_01 (40:33):
I mean, it really is such an inspirational story,
Nick, for for a third personlistening to it, hearing, you
know, the kind of links that youwent through, quite literally,
for to be able to meet yourfamily.
Um curious, what was your wife'sreaction when you kind of showed
up for the very first time whenyou saw her and your child?
SPEAKER_02 (40:52):
She initially, almost every single time, she
would leave the kids at home.
So I would get to the home andthen see them, and and they were
waiting on me when I got home.
It was just she was so, so happyto to see me with open arms, you
know.
And every single time that wehad to part, it was one of the
(41:13):
most difficult things because wedidn't know the next time that
we would see each other.
And sometimes it would be years.
We don't like how we have videocalls now and stuff back at that
time, it wasn't there.
They didn't have the the theythese things, you know, Skype
and all that, you know, uhwasn't really there.
(41:33):
And if it was there, I didn'thave access to it because of
lack of funds.
So, you know, it was one ofthose things where, you know,
when you're a poor man, youdon't really have the advantage
of of or the luxury of justbeing able to to pick up a phone
or or to know where you'regoing, you know, things of that
(41:54):
nature.
I can make all the excuses inthe world for things, you know,
but money speaks volumes in thisworld.
And uh it opens doors that couldhave been closed to you.
Um, but if I had an actual teamof supporters that said, you
know what, we'll follow you,we'll we'll make sure you get
there, that's the whole wholething, is that I I would love to
(42:17):
to still spread the message uhand the importance of family and
the the unity and and what itwhat it means to family.
There are those statistics outthere that because of my life
and what I've lived through, apedophile father, an alcoholic
stepfather, those situationsshould have demanded me to be in
(42:41):
the the realm of havingaddictions.
And I've been blessed.
Like I said, my busy hands havekind of kept me from falling
into those traps.
I really do believe that.
SPEAKER_01 (42:53):
And and even for someone who's who's only had
broken families, to kind of havesuch a strong will to make a
family, pull a family togetherand to be that kind of role
model of a father.
It's hard when you didn't havethat kind of role model
yourself.
I was also curious to ask youabout your daughter now, who's
probably turned you mentionedabout 18.
What was that like for her nowthat she can kind of comprehend
(43:15):
and understand things?
How's that been sort of tellingher that this is the kind of
lengths that you went throughfor her to be there for her?
SPEAKER_02 (43:22):
I wish you understood that.
Honestly, that's the hardestthing right now is that she
doesn't understand, even to thispoint in time, she she doesn't
understand the lengths that I'vegone to.
And I've been trying to figurethat out how how to discuss this
with her because she doesn'tspeak English.
Even now, our our relationshipis strained.
She's going to a university forbeing uh becoming a nurse right
(43:46):
now.
And we've we've been trying toput her through school for that,
and because of my wife andstuff, we've been able to deal
with that.
How do I share this story withher?
How do I tell her these things?
Um, her relationship with me isstrained.
You know, she she doesn'tunderstand the reasons I wasn't
there when when she needed me.
(44:07):
You know, she doesn't understandwhat I was doing.
I don't know how much she knows,okay, or how much difficulty she
knows.
But for almost seven, for thealmost seven years of of this
past life, so since she was 10,I've been living out of a car in
in America.
I was working, I was putting mywife through school.
(44:28):
She was going to cosmetology, Iwas taking care of the kids, I
was making sure that they hadwhat they needed.
So I did everything that I couldfor the seven years.
I gave every penny that I couldcould without making a car
payment and making gas paint,you know, gas in the car and all
that stuff, and making sure thatthe car was operational and
(44:50):
running and doing all thosethings.
Even still on my car, I had anadvertisement on my car that uh
that promoted my website.
You know, I don't think sheunderstands the amount that I
went through to to attempt tomake sure that she had the life
she needed, even though I wasn'tphysically there for her, and I
(45:12):
wished I was.
There's so much that took place.
I actually had to, she had anissue and got involved with an
older person here in Mexico, andI had to get them separated.
And so I came here to Mexico fora trip.
I was here for a week because Ihad a week's vacation from work,
and so I told her, okay, Iwanted to see how serious the
(45:36):
situation was.
She was talking, and this shewas uh 14 at the time.
She was talking about going toTijuana with this person.
No, no, not gonna happen.
So once I saw the seriousnessand what level she was at,
before I had even came to backto Mexico to see her, I had told
my wife, you're gonna pick up aticket for yourself and our
(45:58):
daughter to go to Cancun.
She has an aunt that lives inCancun.
And I said, We might not needthe ticket, but just in case, I
want it ready.
So that way, as soon as we makethe decision of what's gonna
take place, she's on on the nextplane out to go to live with her
aunt and continue her schoolthere.
(46:19):
And she actually got to finishschool about a year early
because of that.
You know, it's the same thingwith my son.
My son had issues.
I found out later on, but hehappened to have an issue where
my son happened to be going toschool.
He was given a drink, analcoholic drink, a beer, which
is common for them to bedrinking in Mexico and stuff,
(46:41):
but they had slipped somethinginto that drink.
Now he has cerebral palsy, sothe effects on a regular human
was ten times the amount on him.
And so immediately once thattook place, we picked him up out
of that school and put him intoa new school, a better school or
whatnot, and he was able tofinish school early.
(47:02):
All my kids was able to graduatefrom from regular school.
My because of me being inAmerica, because of the years
that I lived in America, becauseof the years that I was earning
money in America.
See, people don't understand.
Also, in Mexico, like right now,working a full day's worth of
work here in Mexico, you earnten dollars for the entire day.
(47:25):
Not one hour, one day.
You know, where in America, ifyou work for one hour, you're
gonna get ten dollars.
Yeah, it's a huge difference.
And so me being in America gavethat opportunity to pick up my
my child, my boy, and put himinto another school.
It gave me the opportunity tobuy that plane ticket and say,
okay, you're going to Cancun tofinish your education.
(47:47):
Well, I'm not gonna let you goto Tijuana and and do all these,
have all this issue where inTijuana there's a huge
prostitution and where women getseverely.
And this is what I saw.
And this is not what my daughtersaw.
She didn't saw freedom.
When I went to Cancun for hergraduation, I came here.
I was able to see her graduationin Cancun and then bring her
(48:11):
back to Acapulco with us so thatshe could live with us and and
be able to spend time with me,which is what initially that's
what I wanted for her.
I wanted her to be able to tolive and to be able to learn who
I was and me learn who she is,but the relationship is broken.
SPEAKER_01 (48:31):
I really, really, really do hope that it it kind
of at some point resonates withyour daughter as well.
She's she's still quite young,and I think you know, it takes
maybe some time to kind of hit acertain level of maturity.
And as soon as as soon as theother person is like open to
listening to it, you know,things will change.
And I and I really hope that shekind of does kind of come around
and and see that story that Ithink the rest of the world is
(48:52):
starting to hear today.
But final final plugins,Timothy.
Tell us about your book, tell usabout your business.
Please do share that with us.
SPEAKER_02 (49:00):
Well, to to talk about the book, and actually
what you say right there, youknow, the thing is we have a
language barrier,Spanish-English language
barrier.
And so I don't know if you'vegotten to visit my website yet,
the family reunite network.com,but those have blogs on there of
who I am, of the stories that Iwant to share, of the knowledge
(49:22):
that I have, the experiencesthat I've had through the
struggles of who we become.
The book is also that it's toshare the story of my three
walks, and it's to share thestory of how I met my wife and
kids.
It's to share the knowledge thatI have been exposed to, and that
I may put it upon others, thatthey can learn a lesson and
(49:46):
maybe be inspired to be morethan what they are right now.
But that book is also for mykids, so that even when I can no
longer breathe, they can goback, even though they might
only know Spanish, that they cango and use the technology to be
able to go and translate.
(50:08):
I am actually working on asecond book as well called uh
Stumbling in the Dark Lookingfor the Light Switch, but this
one is going to be under geneticpredisposition.
Basically, a nature versusnurture.
So who are we as people?
What is it?
You know, my real father was apedophile, but I have his genes,
but does that make me him?
(50:30):
You know, it doesn't.
And so it's that nature.
I have the same hairstyle, Ihave the same eye color, but
what makes me him and what makesme me?
The nature versus nurture,genetic predisposition, it's
what makes us.
And so, you know, the stumblingin the dark, looking for the
light switch, it's it's what weall do.
(50:50):
We're we're looking for thatpathway that says, you know, and
that light switch that says,this is what I'm supposed to be
doing.
This is where I'm supposed to beat right now.
That's what that title drivesfrom is that stumbling in the
dark.
You know, we don't know wherewe're headed, but we're looking
for that aha moment.
This is where I'm supposed tobe.
SPEAKER_01 (51:12):
Wow.
Timothy, thank you so much forsharing your story and being
vulnerable over here.
I feel like there's so much wecan take away from your journey,
and I feel like our listenersare gonna have so much
inspiration just like I am rightnow.
So thank you once again.
SPEAKER_02 (51:25):
The one final thing I do have to say is just love
your family.
Hold on to them.
You know, every single momentmatters.
You know, we don't understandsometimes how much it means, but
just that getting up and makingbreakfast, making the bed, it
seems like a simple task, butit's those little moments that
make all the difference in theworld for your your family, for
(51:48):
your kids, and for your spouses.
SPEAKER_00 (51:54):
If you enjoyed the episode and would like to help
support the show, please followand subscribe.
You can rate and review yourfeedback on any of our platforms
listed in the description.
I'd like to recognize our guestswho are vulnerable and open to
share their life experienceswith us.
Thank you for showing us we'rehuman.
Also, a thank you to our teamwho worked so hard behind the
(52:14):
scenes to make it happen.
Stefan Menzel.
Lucas, Piri.
The show would be nothingwithout you.
I'm Jenica, host and writer ofthe show, and you're listening
to Multispective.
My real father was a pedophile.
We would have our stuff stolento be sold so it could fuel his
alcohol.
I've I've been working since theage of 10.
I wish that I earned enoughmoney immediately after uh high
school.
I was into the the boot camp formilitary.
(00:27):
I had my wife and kids, theywere living in Mexico.
She spoke no English and I spokeno Spanish.
For 16 years, 17 years, we wereseparated.
And so I walked from Virginia toMexico to see my daughter for
the first time.
I walked from uh July toOctober.
(00:49):
It turns out that I was actuallyillegally in their country.
SPEAKER_01 (00:57):
Timothy, why don't you start from the very, very
beginning?
SPEAKER_02 (01:00):
Man, there there's so many things that lead us to
where we are uh in the day, youknow.
With my childhood, my childhoodwasn't the greatest.
And honestly, that's the thingabout me personally is that my
childhood beyond before aboutthe age of roughly nine, I
actually don't remember.
And maybe that's a mental blockto help save my mentality, my my
(01:24):
mind from the issues that wehad.
My real father was a pedophile,pled guilty to my sister.
So, you know, our childhood wasupended from that.
After that, you know, um myadolescence uh was not as great
either.
Uh we it was better than beingstuck in that situation.
(01:46):
Our mother did everything shecould to protect my sister, to
protect us, me and my brother,from from that devastation, and
she she did all she could.
You know, she was the backboneof our family.
She was the strength when therewasn't any, even when she didn't
have strength.
She was the strength that thatcarried us all through.
(02:09):
But she happened to to jump intoa relationship with a man that
was an alcoholic, which thenteenage years wasn't that great
either.
It happened to be a huge ordealwhere, you know, screaming,
fighting, loud music, we wouldhave our stuff stolen, you know,
(02:32):
I would have toys, you know,other things of that nature that
was stolen to be sold so itcould fuel his alcohol.
We would pick up the aluminumcans off the street to uh help
get money for the family, but wedidn't have a lot of money.
So there there was all types ofissues throughout my childhood
(02:53):
that, you know, uh did moredamage than what I had thought.
Obviously, if I can't rememberbefore the age of eight, you
know, that that says a lot initself.
And then, you know, having analcoholic stepfather with all
those issues and and all thoseproblems.
I've I've been working since theage of ten.
(03:14):
So I've been I was when I wasstarting work, I was doing
mowing lawns, washing cars,walking dogs, cleaning out home.
Everything that I could to kindof help our family out be able
to eat and survive, you know.
So it wasn't it wasn't forcedupon me uh by any means.
(03:34):
It was it's something that wasinside me, I guess, that said, I
want to help my mom out as muchas I possibly can, and that was
the the best way that I knewhow.
SPEAKER_01 (03:44):
The person that you're supposed to like rely on
and trust and you know, kind ofbe such a huge disappointment in
that sense.
And I'm sort of curious as tobefore all of you guys that your
dad was kind of doing all ofthis stuff, at least your sister
he pled guilty.
How did it come out to thefamily the very first time?
SPEAKER_02 (04:00):
I I honestly don't know.
Really, honestly do notremember.
I remember a little bit of thecourt dates, the stuff that
happened after the the fact whenwhen everything really started
to to go in through.
Honestly, my mind is is a blank.
When people say, What was yourchildhood like?
Where were you?
How was it?
(04:21):
That is one of the the mostdifficult things, although at
the same time, it's alsopossibly why I'm in a better
situation than what my brotherand sister is right now.
I'm not all put together, youknow.
But my sister, when she wasyounger, she was in and out of
psych facilities and things ofthat nature.
(04:42):
My brother, it becameself-sustained.
He didn't he didn't talk abouthis feelings.
It really affected him as well,but in in a different sense.
So um there's a lot that I don'tknow about.
And unfortunately, my mother haspassed now, so even if I was to
like say, okay, I want to findout some information, what was
(05:03):
it like?
How did it happen?
Those answers are no longerthere.
My real father is still alive,but it's not something that I
want to discuss with he about atall, whatsoever.
SPEAKER_01 (05:14):
What is your relationship with your siblings
like?
And how much do they kind ofremember having to be?
SPEAKER_02 (05:19):
No, we our our relationship is strained.
My brother doesn't really liketo talk whatsoever.
I talked to him maybe onChristmas or around that time
and around his birthday.
I would stop by when I was inAmerica when I was there, I
would stop by his work, youknow, and see him for a short
(05:39):
moment or two.
My sister, she has her ownissues even to this point in
time.
She does still talk to me orcommunicate with me through
social media.
So our our communication islittle to none.
The thing, the biggest thing forme is that I wish that I could
help them.
I wish that I earned enoughmoney that I could say, okay, my
(06:02):
brother, here here's the money.
This is what's gonna help you.
We're gonna clean your slate,pay off your bills, my sister,
hey, what do you need?
What can we do for you?
But I don't even I don't evenhave that capabilities of barely
feeding myself and my family,let alone anything else.
So because of our our lifestyleand how we were in our our our
(06:25):
poor poor situation, it's one ofthose things where I happen to
not be able to afford those typeof things to be able to help the
way I would like to help.
I really do wish I could domore.
SPEAKER_01 (06:38):
It sounds like you remember more about your teenage
years.
What was that like for you, youknow, going to school, making
friends, having role models,having males around?
Did you kind of feel like a lackof trust in men?
SPEAKER_02 (06:50):
I was known by everybody, but known by nobody.
I was always the one that wasbullied or teased in schools.
I went to four or five differentelementary schools.
My real father was military.
So my brother, born California,I was born Ohio, my sister Rhode
(07:10):
Island.
No, there wasn't a solid, okay,this is where we're living.
We've lived here for 20 yearsnow, and all that.
I went to two different middleschool or junior high schools.
I was able to attend one highschool, and that's really where
I was, but I was not involved inthe school whatsoever.
I never got involved, I wasalways working, so it wasn't
(07:34):
like I had free time to just gohang out with people, even if I
wanted to.
There was a place um called GameMasters that was a very big part
of my adolescence.
I had my escape from my realityin that place.
I was the one that would sitmore up front towards the class
than the back of the class.
(07:55):
I was the one that would be, youknow, more quiet than anybody.
I would not interact withpeople.
I had my own worries at home,you know, couldn't bring friends
home, things of that nature,even if I made friends.
There's certain schools thathave certain cliques, you know,
certain types of people, thepopular kids, the the the goth
(08:16):
kids, the the Christians, theyou know, uh so we had all those
clicks and stuff, and I knewsomebody from each different
click, you know.
I I knew everybody, andeverybody knew me, but they
didn't know me.
Right immediately after uh highschool, I was into the the boot
camp for military.
I enjoyed the the people there,but because of my issues from my
(08:42):
childhood, they actually caughtup to me while I was in the
military.
And I actually was supposed toum be in there for a lot longer
than what I was supposed to be.
So I went in in the year 2000and I got out at year 2002.
I really didn't realize how muchmy stepfather had affected my
life until a military buddy andI, he went to go into another
(09:07):
state overnight.
So he needs somebody to drivewith him.
So um, but there was a song thathad came on the radio uh that
really struck a chord with mefor some reason.
And it came out of the blue.
I didn't realize it uh at thetime, but I just started
bawling.
It was one of those loud songsthat my my stepfather would
(09:28):
play, and he asked me if if Iwanted him to change it.
And I said, no, let's let itplay three.
I didn't understand what wasgoing on, but that was kind of
the start of the downfall of ofmy military career.
I didn't realize how much I wasaffected by things.
(09:48):
From the bad comes the good.
And honestly, the thing is, isthat I would have never been in
the the movie theater to meet mywife where that took place.
That that was one of the bestthings and one of the most
stressful things that hashappened to me in my life.
SPEAKER_01 (10:04):
So people say that in the healing journey it's
important to tap into some ofthe hardest times that you know
you've experienced and sort oflike learn to communicate with
that inner child and forgive andkind of move on, because if you
live with that memory eitherrepressed or that memory kind of
not allowing it to resurface,then you're not really giving
your body and your mind a chanceto sort of really, you know, dig
(10:28):
deep and come out of it in ahealthy way that kind of your
body and your mind needs.
Was that the first time that youtold someone about what was the
trigger and what what had reallybeen going on in your life?
Would you say that that was thevery first time you'd shared it?
SPEAKER_02 (10:42):
Probably.
I still I'd never really havetalked openly about my my uh
real father, you know, becauseagain, not the memory of it, my
stepfather.
Uh that was probably one of thefirst times that really things
just kind of flooded out, uh tosay.
And we're actually still goodfriends to this day.
(11:03):
We still reach out to each othereven now.
But yeah, it was probably one ofthe first times that I actually
kind of confronted it, tried todeal with it as best as I could.
When I was in the military, theyhave therapy sessions and things
that nature to try to figure outwhat what it is and all that
stuff.
Because I was having backissues, you know, I've never had
(11:25):
back issues, but back spasms andthings that nature.
I never ri connected the dotswith the psychological portion
of that, how your body reactsunder stress and under anxiety
and and all that stuff, and it'sit's it's a different different
(11:45):
levels of how you deal withthings that how your body
responds to to the stresslevels, you know.
It's our bodies react in so manydifferent ways to the stresses
of what is presented to us.
And so, you know, dealing withthe life and the way it was, you
know, I never focused on it.
I was always focused in on work.
(12:05):
As they say, busy hands keep youfrom getting into trouble, and
that's kind of what it was.
My hands were digging for thethe work that I was doing
constantly, just constantlycycling the jobs and not really
focused in on the trauma that Ithat I was living through.
SPEAKER_01 (12:23):
Can you walk me through how did sort of this
military thing come to an endand sort of how you met your
wife?
Because that's it that's such anbeautiful story of its own.
SPEAKER_02 (12:33):
Absolutely.
So it was 2002, so this wasafter September 11th attacks.
I was in during the time ofthat.
So that really had a greateffect on a lot of people.
You know, um, my job dealt withwar.
I was a Ford observer for thefield artillery.
So that's where you look for theenemy while the enemy's looking
(12:54):
for you, and you call theartillery to tell them to blow
them up.
That's what my job was in themilitary.
And I never got to actually domy job.
I was part of a headquartersheadquarters battery.
About six months after I finallygot out.
My wife, we met end of 2006,beginning of 2007, and that's
where our our story started.
(13:15):
I happened to move back toVirginia to help assist my mom.
Tried to help support her in anyway that she needed because she
was having issues living with mysister, you know, during that
time and stuff.
My mom was diabetic, was havingcataracts, she's had strokes,
she had a triple bypass.
(13:37):
She's had so many issues.
It actually came down to whereat the end of her life they were
starting to have to amputate herlegs a piece at a time.
So I'm in America, in Virginia,and I'm working uh at a movie
theater, and my wife happens tocome and she's working there as
(14:00):
an overnight crew now.
So to to give you an idea, sheis Mexican.
She's working in the movietheater, she works there
overnight as a cleaning crew.
I worked there during the day,and it was one of those things
because she spoke no English andI spoke no Spanish.
So actually, our very firstdate, she actually had a friend
(14:20):
of a friend come along totranslate for us.
So it was something um she hadtwo kids in in Mexico that she
was trying to earn money to tryto help her kids out.
Her boy, he has cerebral palsy.
In Mexico, you're not given manyopportunities to live life.
And um there's not much that youcan do for earnings, and not
(14:41):
much you can do for the healthof a sick child like that.
But they did have a class thatwould help teach her, and she
would take those lessonsbasically back home and help the
child out if she could.
So she actually had to haveherself, her sister, and her
mother work on this child all atonce.
(15:01):
One working the arms, oneworking the legs, one working
the head.
So basically helping the motorfunctions of this child.
And so that she came to Americato to do that the work and to to
attempt to support them and andyou know give them that proper
life.
And um, it just happened to bethat she was there working
(15:22):
overnights in the theater.
I was working during the days, Iwas always there.
I was at night when we arelooking to close.
There was one time she showed uplike three, four hours prior to
us even closing.
I didn't know what she was doingor why she was there, but in my
mind, I'm like, what is thiswoman doing here?
She's crazy.
And I and I said the word justin passing, I said, You're
(15:46):
local, why are you here soearly?
And I just kept on going to domy work, not realizing that to
them, when you call them crazy,they're gonna show you crazy.
They take very offense to beingcalled crazy, and and um, and so
it's because she couldn't speakto me, she really wanted to cuss
me out.
So she actually took like a weekor two to try to learn English
(16:09):
to cuss me out.
And so the one time that sheactually finally started to talk
to me, the only thing she couldreally do was ask me my name.
And from that, I'm like, youknow what, I'm gonna take a
chance.
I want to know who she is, moreabout her.
And so I brought this dictionarywith me and just went word by
word, single word at a time, andwe figured it took us about two
(16:32):
hours, but we figured out likefour different things about each
other, you know, what our agewas, what our relationship
status was, whether or not wehad kids, and like the phone
number to call each other.
It's astronomical for for us tobe able to be there and have
that moment.
So it was very unique, and it'ssomething that has given me the
(16:53):
fortitude to be able to pushmyself beyond all normal
measures.
And so we started arelationship, she became
pregnant at seven months'pregnancy.
Her mother found out she waspregnant and didn't like that
idea, and so what took place atthat point in time, her mother
calls up and says, Look, I'm notgonna watch your children
anymore.
You gotta figure out what you'regonna do.
(17:14):
And so we did the only thingthat we knew, which was to put
her on the next bus back.
Those kids had to come first,even though she was seven months
pregnant, and so um that's howwe got separated.
And for 16 years, 17 years,that's what it was.
We were separated for that long.
And this is again where youknow, those things you question
(17:36):
whether you've made the rightchoice.
What steps could I have taken?
But the thing is, if you look atwhat you should have done and
you're not looking forward, allyou're gonna do is trip over
what's in front of you.
You know, I should have donethis, I could have done this, I
would have done this, if thisonly happened, if this only took
place, those things will stopyou from living your life.
(17:58):
Those those moments will willprevent you from looking at the
possibility of what is in frontof you.
I'm here in Mexico now, but itit took years upon years to do
that.
My and a lot of a lot ofmissteps, a lot of issues, a lot
of problems.
SPEAKER_01 (18:18):
What were the main sort of reasons for why you
weren't able to go to Mexico atthose in those years?
Was it job and work or was itvisa-related?
SPEAKER_02 (18:26):
A combination of things.
So what took place for us wasimmigration, finances.
I don't have, you know, any ofthe financial stability that's
needed.
I was completely ignorant to howimmigration works and and didn't
understand the the steps that ittook for for it.
(18:47):
I don't agree with illegalimmigration.
I don't agree with it.
People are paying these peopleto get them across illegally.
The same amount, they're payingthem the same amount as if it
was to get them here legally.
The only difference really iswhat boils down to is that you
have one person telling you, I'mgonna get you across no matter
(19:10):
what, because if they don't getthem across, then they don't get
their money.
Then you have another persontelling you, I'll get you
across, but if I can't get youacross, then we're gonna have to
start from the beginning andyou're gonna have to repay
everything and then go throughthe process again, and and
you're looking at years andyears and years of being
separated from family, and thethese moments that mattered.
(19:32):
I missed my daughter's firststeps, her first words, her her
her first birthday.
I missed all of that, and that'sstuff you cannot get back.
So I understand the the plightof the people wanting to come
and and build a better life forthemselves.
Immigration was the one thingthat kept us apart.
So during 2008, we'll go to therecession time period, and
(19:56):
during this time period it washard for a lot of people.
I was working for BMW at thetime.
I had finished my degree in2007.
I was working for Target, I wasworking two jobs.
I was taking care of my motherin America, making sure our rent
was paid, making sure all thebills were taken care of, and
then I had my wife and kids,they were living in Mexico, and
(20:17):
I was taking care of them.
SPEAKER_01 (20:18):
So I was taking care of sorry, were you married at
that point as well?
Like had you already gottenmarried at that point?
SPEAKER_02 (20:24):
So by by legal standards, no.
It wasn't until 2010 that wewere officially married.
And people say, Well, if you'remarried, can't she just come?
And that's a lot of misnomicthat a lot of people don't see
or understand.
It's not if, oh, once you'remarried, she's automatically
able to come.
You still have to file papers,you still have to show proof
(20:46):
that you can support them.
During that time, I was makingenough money to help support
them.
And I this was in my infancy ofimmigration.
I still had no idea whatimmigration was.
I was working 80 hours a week.
I wasn't it wasn't like, oh, Ihave free time, I can go look at
a book, I can go do this and godo that.
(21:08):
It was just work, have maybemaybe four hours of time to
myself sometimes in the day.
You know, it just depends.
And during the time though, Ihad gotten laid off from my BMW
job.
So at this point in time, I'mlike, so what am I supposed to
do?
I was taking care of all thesebills, I just lost my job.
Now I'm not able to pay thesebills, I'm not able to take care
(21:31):
of this situation.
My daughter was already over ayear old at that time, and I
still did not get to see her.
You know, um, one of the thingsthat forced my hands into what I
did was she was severely sick.
And even at that point in time,I couldn't really talk to my
wife.
We we had better conversations,we could still communicate
(21:52):
better than what we firststarted out as, but it was one
of those things where ourcommunication wasn't great,
especially when it comes down tofinances as well as medical
issues.
I happened to call a friend upin Texas, he was from Mexico.
So I called him, I said, Hey,can you call my wife?
Find out what's going on,because the only word that I
(22:14):
could understand was appendix.
That's what I understood from mywife.
And when you talk the appendix,that's a severe issue,
especially when you're talkingabout a year old.
And so the issue there was thatwhen she happened to be she got
sick, they tried to treat hersickness, my child's sickness,
and she became worse.
And come to find out she wasactually allergic to penicillin.
(22:37):
So that's what actually made herappendix swell.
Once they got that taken careof, then you know, she was okay.
But it was at that point in timeI have no money for a bus
ticket.
I have no money for a planeticket, I have nothing.
And so at that very point intime, I'm like, the only thing
that I that was free to me,which was walking.
(22:58):
And so I walked from Virginia toMexico to see my daughter for
the first time.
SPEAKER_01 (23:04):
Virginia to Mexico.
Can you tell me how many milesis that?
SPEAKER_02 (23:08):
Four thousand miles.
Oh my god.
Four or five thousand miles, allthe way to where well we live in
Acapulco, Mexico.
So that's all the way down southon the the west coast side of
Mexico, right kind of where itbends, is right where Acapulco
is.
And that's wh my whole intentionreally was to walk even through
Mexico.
(23:28):
It wasn't really until I got toAmarillo, Texas, um, where I was
at after the military andeverything, and I was staying on
a friend's couch there duringthat time, and the news popped
up, and they stated howdangerous Mexico was, and that
they advised Americans not totravel through Mexico.
(23:48):
I'm like, I'm already made itthis far.
What am I supposed to do now?
I'm gonna walk through Mexiconow.
So I had to do a little researchand stuff.
Unfortunately, I don't know whyduring the time um Greyhound ran
throughout the country duringthat time, but you could not buy
a ticket from uh Amarillo to getdown to all the way down to
(24:11):
Acapulco.
You actually had to get to theborder of like El Paso, right on
the border, and then you couldbuy a ticket that would get you
all the way down to Acapulco.
So I had basically walked therest of the way to the bus
station there and was able topick up a bus and get myself the
rest of the way to to Acapulco.
(24:32):
In all reality, as much as Idon't agree with illegal
immigration, it turns out that Iwas actually illegally in their
country for the first time.
I had no clue, not for the firstmonth.
You're supposed to get a visa, atourist visa, and that gives you
that gives you six months ofstay time.
And I wasn't aware of all ofthat.
So when I got on the bus, Idon't know how I got through,
(24:54):
but I got through and I was ableto go all the way to Acapulco.
It wasn't until a month laterthat I realized, oh, I'm
supposed to have this visa.
We had to go to the immigrationand and deal with all that
during that time.
But I was able to hold mydaughter for the first time, and
that's that's what mattered.
SPEAKER_01 (25:11):
Yeah.
I'm curious, I I do want to talka little bit more about the
journey to start off with.
How did you prepare yourself?
What did you choose to carrywith you?
SPEAKER_02 (25:18):
My my life prepared me for this moment.
The military, you know, walk andyou run and you do all these
things and and your body buildsyou for it.
So doing all that, that kind ofprepared me for that.
But actually, the first initialwalk that I had done actually
had failed.
I went out and I walked fromVirginia Beach to Chesapeake,
(25:40):
Virginia.
It's just one city basicallyover.
Um I had a little luggage cart,one of those little luggage
carts that's foldable that youcarry with you in the airport so
you can carry your your luggagethrough the airport.
I had a luggage attached tothat, and that actually failed.
I tried, you know, but I'm like,you know, this failed.
(26:03):
Now what do I do?
So I took about a week.
I regrouped, I grabbed mymilitary duffel bag, I made a
little cord with two cliff hooksand some 550 parachute cord, and
so that way it would alleviatesome of the stress on my
shoulders.
But I went ahead and filled mymilitary duffel bag and carried
(26:23):
that with me for the rest of theway for the first time.
That was the first trip.
I've actually walked the countrythree times.
SPEAKER_01 (26:30):
That is a huge feat.
I don't think there's manypeople out there in the world
that has done anything likethis.
Like you would have reach out tosome news channels and told them
that you did this, like thatwould be for a story, wouldn't
it?
SPEAKER_02 (26:42):
Uh you know, and that's the thing is that I will
hope one day that maybe my voicewill be heard.
I'm hoping for is is to be ableto to be maybe an inspiration
for somebody else and say, youknow what, if he can do this, I
can do this.
SPEAKER_01 (26:58):
How many days did it take you?
Like how long did it take you toget there?
SPEAKER_02 (27:02):
So I walked from yeah, I walked from uh July to
October.
Took me four months to to do mysecond walk.
And I on that second walk I waswalking with a a rickshaw cart,
what they call a rickshaw cart.
It was basically uh a dolly, adolly that you would carry boxes
with and stuff.
You see these Coca-Cola and allthat stuff.
(27:25):
And then I had a three-foot bythree-foot cargo box attached to
the dolly that I pulled behindme with a one of those harnesses
that people happen to hang offthe side of buildings to clean
the windows with and stuff.
Yes.
I created that system where theharness would help pull the
(27:45):
weight.
The the first walk really taughtme about my second walk.
When it starts to downpour rain,you're just stuck in it.
There is no, oh, I'm gonna goinside to to get out of the
rain.
You know, so my first walktaught me about my second walk.
And my second walk was more soit was about two two reasons why
(28:05):
I did it.
One was to raise awareness aboutfamilies being separated and
having all those things.
SPEAKER_01 (28:12):
Just just to kind of delve a little bit more into the
journey, the w that very firstwalk, if you can just walk me
through, how did you sort of go?
You mentioned it was like aboutfour four months.
That was exactly so.
I'm guessing the first one mighthave been even longer, isn't it?
SPEAKER_02 (28:25):
Well, honestly, it was actually faster, a lot
faster.
SPEAKER_01 (28:28):
Okay.
SPEAKER_02 (28:29):
But so to to get into the the first walk, what
really took place with that wasthat I had no clue.
I had a destination.
This is where I need to be, thisis how I'm gonna get there.
I'm gonna walk.
There was a little bit ofplanning because again, you
didn't have the GPS like you donow.
Again, uh a man of no money, Idon't have access to those
(28:51):
expensive phones at that time.
So I went to MapQuest.
This was before Google Maps.
unknown (28:58):
Right.
SPEAKER_02 (28:59):
I went to MapQuest and I printed out my my route.
I printed it out and said, okay,this is the route that I need to
take.
Okay, how am I gonna get there?
And and so I basically printedout sheet by sheet, you know,
and and and had an idea of whereI was going.
And the thing is that peoplewould pick me up and and help me
(29:20):
get around faster, mostlyusually police officers.
They're like, I want you in mytown.
So honestly, they were beingnice and helpful, but they're
like, I can get you out of mytown, I can get you to the
county line of my my district,you know, and and then drop you
off and you continue on yourway.
Any little bit of help helped,you know, any little bit of
(29:43):
support like that helped me.
During that time, I made itstill lost in essence of where I
was headed because I had acertain route.
This is where I was going.
But when somebody picks you up,they're like, Oh, I know a
better route for you, you shouldgo here.
And then you're You're at theirfree will.
You know, at that point in time,you're kind of like just along
(30:04):
for the eye.
So they would drop you off, andthen I'd be way off the the map
that I originally printed.
I'm like, okay, now what do Ido?
How do I go to this location orthis place?
So they might have given me like$20 or something.
I would go to the local gasstation and pick up a uh pick up
a local map to kind of find myway back to where I needed to
(30:27):
be.
So and that happened multipletimes with police picking me up,
with you know, um people pickingme up.
So it actually took me about twoweeks to get where I needed to
be.
Now the bus took about threedays or so to get from the
border all the way to Acapulco,and even still, man, I didn't
know Spanish really well at thattime either.
(30:49):
And I actually had I was told tostay on the bus, but it actually
took me into the oppositedirection of where I was going
uh to Acapulco, so I had to staythere for a while before I could
get onto the next bus.
SPEAKER_01 (31:03):
And how were you sort of like financing in terms
of like where you were stayingand your food, like where were
you sleeping in those days?
SPEAKER_02 (31:09):
Outside.
Outside.
Yep.
SPEAKER_01 (31:13):
So you you're really, really like vulnerable
in a sense to being robbed,being you know, hurt, being
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (31:20):
So what I would be is I would not walk during the
night.
For me, it was a no-no because Iwanted to make sure that I was
visible.
So sun goes down, I go down.
Sun comes up, I get up.
So when I left, the very firsttime I left, it was in February.
So we're talking freezingweather.
There was one time where I wokeup and my feet literally felt
(31:42):
like I was walking on blocks ofice, like I could not feel my
feet whatsoever.
I did have a a uh a sleeping bagthat I would rest on and I would
try to cover myself up, thingsof that nature.
I would use the military duffelbag as a pillow, but yeah,
during the first walk ithappened to be that where I
would rest is just off on theside of the road and and uh that
(32:06):
would be it.
The second walk taught me aboutthe first walk, and I had uh the
dolly in the box created it towhere the the lid would open up
and would give me space to beable to sleep, not directly on
the ground and stuff.
So, you know, I would use thatbox as as my shelter um and and
(32:28):
things of that nature.
I was fortunate for the helpthat I did get.
I was able to to get a busticket, you know, that got me to
to see my wife and kids.
SPEAKER_01 (32:38):
Was there at any point, did you actually find
yourself in danger?
SPEAKER_02 (32:42):
There there were uh sometimes there was more of the
police that tried to warn meabout things, especially going
through Memphis and Nashville.
Those were the two areas thatwere the worst in crime and
things of that nature, that thepolice were really concerned for
my safety and telling me to tryto move.
Usually what I would do is mywhole goal was I would walk for
(33:03):
at least 12 hours a day and Iwould clear at least 25 miles a
day.
So, you know, I would make sureeither I would be walking
through the town and be on thebasically at the other end of
the town, or if it was gettingreally late, I would stop right
before the town and then stopthere.
(33:25):
So I wouldn't be in a a city ora town or something along those
lines where I wouldn't bebothering people or people
wouldn't be bothering me.
Uh, there was in New Mexico,there was actually a sign that
said, keep your kids and petsclose, wolves in the area.
You know, I'm like, yeah, whathappens if I actually happen to
get into something like that?
(33:47):
Um, so there was there I had atornado that had touched down a
mile off of my path.
I actually had hunkered down.
That was one day that I didhunker down in a in a hotel, and
I'm fortunate, very fortunate,because as I uh it was a huge
storm, torrential downpour rain,everything, and um I happened to
(34:08):
stay in this hotel.
But as I was walking the nextday, I heard that there was a
tornado touchdown literally amile off the path of what I was
walking.
If I was in the middle of astorm, there were several times
that there were heavy downpourrains and stuff in storms.
So what I would do is I wouldbasically crawl inside the box.
The box was only three foot bythree foot.
(34:31):
I'm a six-foot person, so youhave to imagine.
But I would cram myself intothis box, close the lid, and
hang on for dear life, you know,hoping, you know, that I'd ride
out the storm in the box.
SPEAKER_01 (34:44):
I just can't even like picture how this must have
kind of like looked.
But do you feel like even interms of some of the the the
people that you met that helpedyou along the way, the
conversations that you had withsome people, you know, even some
of the beautiful sceneries andsites that you kind of saw, like
can you walk talk to me aboutsome of those?
SPEAKER_02 (35:02):
Absolutely.
You know, there was um oh awoman by the name of Karen
Niles.
She was going through cancertreatments and stuff, and she
was on remission during thetime, but she was saying that it
was just starting to come backand that she was starting to
have to go through thesetreatments, and um, she was
getting these meal tickets andthings of that nature, and she
(35:25):
had brought in me some some foodand and shared her story with
me.
And I'm like, she's goingthrough all of this, and yet
she's still kind enough to tobring me some food, even though
in the midst of what she wasgoing through, and keeping up, I
did it wasn't until years later,but learning of her, she had
(35:45):
actually passed due to thecancer.
Um, I had one other person thatfollowed me all the way from not
physically followed me, but hadfollowed me kind of all the way
throughout my trip, and he'sactually the reason why I was
able to get back on my secondtrip called his name was David
Cook.
And I actually in my book I havea whole chapter on him, but he
(36:09):
was my my main support inessence for my trip walking all
the way from Virginia toCalifornia, and he is the reason
why I was able to get back asquickly as I was back to
Virginia and then go see mydaughter for her third birthday.
That was my whole second trip.
The third birthday and theteenth birthday are like the
(36:32):
most important birthdays, and soI made it a point that I would
make it no matter what to seeher third birthday, and so I was
able to do that.
I did make it all the way toCalifornia, but by the time I
got to California, my body wastorn apart.
I mean, my legs were rubbed raw,I had blisters on my feet,
(36:53):
everything was falling apart,and so I actually had made a
decision.
I had to call my wife and say,Look, I'm I've made it this far.
You know, basically I had cutthe trip on my initial plan to
cut it short.
I I made it to California, and Iwas gonna make it all the way to
San Diego, California.
But I was right at a point ofright on the border of Arizona
(37:16):
and California, and I called upmy wife.
My body was burnt, beaten,bloody, all of that stuff.
This was in the summer months,so the hottest you could imagine
it was there, and so you know,first trip winter, second trip
summer.
Not good choices.
I went ahead and I stoppedthere.
There were so many people thatdid treat me with kindness and
(37:39):
stuff.
Um, many people didn'tunderstand why I was doing what
I was doing.
Now I had a big box on the back,and it would say, What would you
do on the back and the top ofit?
So when it's lifted up, youcould still see the message.
On the sides, I actually had aan image of my family, about
three or four different imageson the side of the box, and it
(38:01):
said, Have you seen this familyat the top?
Like a a missing, you know,missing person, have you seen
this family?
And on the bottom of it, I said,Neither have I.
And so it was the the referenceof, you know, have you seen this
family?
And so it was my attempt to torelay a message to people to
say, This is the family, this iswhat I'm missing.
(38:23):
Some people would take it as anan actual, how are they missing?
What happened to them?
People were questioning things.
I I didn't get a chance to bringthem to America, and this was in
2010 when I did that walk.
So my my youngest would havebeen three at the time,
obviously.
She was just turning three.
(38:43):
My second child would have beensix, and my oldest child would
have been nine.
Still young enough to get themto come to America and and start
their lives in America and doall of that.
And but I I didn't get enough myand so I did everything that I
could, and I'm still doingeverything I can.
I'm forty-five years old, I'mabout to have a child, and I
(39:07):
have forty-two days to make adifference for this child, and
that's what I'm trying to doright now.
Every single step of the way,every single day, uh I am
pushing myself.
So the thing is that I was neverthere for my child when she was
growing up.
Right now, everything iscompletely new to me.
My wife left at seven months'pregnancy, and I never got to
(39:28):
see any of that pot type of lifefrom seven months pregnancy all
the way up to a year and fourmonths old.
You know, so I I missed all ofthat.
And those kids needed me, and Imissed their lives so much, and
it wasn't a choice that I madeeasily.
I'm very blessed for for thewoman that I call my wife,
(39:50):
because not a lot of women cancan put up with that.
You know, there's she is the thereason why the kids respect me
the way they do.
It was because of her that thatI have the presence in their
life even though I wasn'tpresent.
Due to immigration, due todistance, be due to the
(40:10):
financial situations.
I I was earning money, but itwasn't enough to sponsor my
family to come to America.
And and because of that, youknow, they were having to stay
in Mexico.
And eventually they grew up.
You know, their roots becameMexico and their dreams no
longer entailed coming toAmerica.
SPEAKER_01 (40:33):
I mean, it really is such an inspirational story,
Nick, for for a third personlistening to it, hearing, you
know, the kind of links that youwent through, quite literally,
for to be able to meet yourfamily.
Um curious, what was your wife'sreaction when you kind of showed
up for the very first time whenyou saw her and your child?
SPEAKER_02 (40:52):
She initially, almost every single time, she
would leave the kids at home.
So I would get to the home andthen see them, and and they were
waiting on me when I got home.
It was just she was so, so happyto to see me with open arms, you
know.
And every single time that wehad to part, it was one of the
(41:13):
most difficult things because wedidn't know the next time that
we would see each other.
And sometimes it would be years.
We don't like how we have videocalls now and stuff back at that
time, it wasn't there.
They didn't have the the theythese things, you know, Skype
and all that, you know, uhwasn't really there.
(41:33):
And if it was there, I didn'thave access to it because of
lack of funds.
So, you know, it was one ofthose things where, you know,
when you're a poor man, youdon't really have the advantage
of of or the luxury of justbeing able to to pick up a phone
or or to know where you'regoing, you know, things of that
(41:54):
nature.
I can make all the excuses inthe world for things, you know,
but money speaks volumes in thisworld.
And uh it opens doors that couldhave been closed to you.
Um, but if I had an actual teamof supporters that said, you
know what, we'll follow you,we'll we'll make sure you get
there, that's the whole wholething, is that I I would love to
(42:17):
to still spread the message uhand the importance of family and
the the unity and and what itwhat it means to family.
There are those statistics outthere that because of my life
and what I've lived through, apedophile father, an alcoholic
stepfather, those situationsshould have demanded me to be in
(42:41):
the the realm of havingaddictions.
And I've been blessed.
Like I said, my busy hands havekind of kept me from falling
into those traps.
I really do believe that.
SPEAKER_01 (42:53):
And and even for someone who's who's only had
broken families, to kind of havesuch a strong will to make a
family, pull a family togetherand to be that kind of role
model of a father.
It's hard when you didn't havethat kind of role model
yourself.
I was also curious to ask youabout your daughter now, who's
probably turned you mentionedabout 18.
What was that like for her nowthat she can kind of comprehend
(43:15):
and understand things?
How's that been sort of tellingher that this is the kind of
lengths that you went throughfor her to be there for her?
SPEAKER_02 (43:22):
I wish you understood that.
Honestly, that's the hardestthing right now is that she
doesn't understand, even to thispoint in time, she she doesn't
understand the lengths that I'vegone to.
And I've been trying to figurethat out how how to discuss this
with her because she doesn'tspeak English.
Even now, our our relationshipis strained.
She's going to a university forbeing uh becoming a nurse right
(43:46):
now.
And we've we've been trying toput her through school for that,
and because of my wife andstuff, we've been able to deal
with that.
How do I share this story withher?
How do I tell her these things?
Um, her relationship with me isstrained.
You know, she she doesn'tunderstand the reasons I wasn't
there when when she needed me.
(44:07):
You know, she doesn't understandwhat I was doing.
I don't know how much she knows,okay, or how much difficulty she
knows.
But for almost seven, for thealmost seven years of of this
past life, so since she was 10,I've been living out of a car in
in America.
I was working, I was putting mywife through school.
(44:28):
She was going to cosmetology, Iwas taking care of the kids, I
was making sure that they hadwhat they needed.
So I did everything that I couldfor the seven years.
I gave every penny that I couldcould without making a car
payment and making gas paint,you know, gas in the car and all
that stuff, and making sure thatthe car was operational and
(44:50):
running and doing all thosethings.
Even still on my car, I had anadvertisement on my car that uh
that promoted my website.
You know, I don't think sheunderstands the amount that I
went through to to attempt tomake sure that she had the life
she needed, even though I wasn'tphysically there for her, and I
(45:12):
wished I was.
There's so much that took place.
I actually had to, she had anissue and got involved with an
older person here in Mexico, andI had to get them separated.
And so I came here to Mexico fora trip.
I was here for a week because Ihad a week's vacation from work,
and so I told her, okay, Iwanted to see how serious the
(45:36):
situation was.
She was talking, and this shewas uh 14 at the time.
She was talking about going toTijuana with this person.
No, no, not gonna happen.
So once I saw the seriousnessand what level she was at,
before I had even came to backto Mexico to see her, I had told
my wife, you're gonna pick up aticket for yourself and our
(45:58):
daughter to go to Cancun.
She has an aunt that lives inCancun.
And I said, We might not needthe ticket, but just in case, I
want it ready.
So that way, as soon as we makethe decision of what's gonna
take place, she's on on the nextplane out to go to live with her
aunt and continue her schoolthere.
(46:19):
And she actually got to finishschool about a year early
because of that.
You know, it's the same thingwith my son.
My son had issues.
I found out later on, but hehappened to have an issue where
my son happened to be going toschool.
He was given a drink, analcoholic drink, a beer, which
is common for them to bedrinking in Mexico and stuff,
(46:41):
but they had slipped somethinginto that drink.
Now he has cerebral palsy, sothe effects on a regular human
was ten times the amount on him.
And so immediately once thattook place, we picked him up out
of that school and put him intoa new school, a better school or
whatnot, and he was able tofinish school early.
(47:02):
All my kids was able to graduatefrom from regular school.
My because of me being inAmerica, because of the years
that I lived in America, becauseof the years that I was earning
money in America.
See, people don't understand.
Also, in Mexico, like right now,working a full day's worth of
work here in Mexico, you earnten dollars for the entire day.
(47:25):
Not one hour, one day.
You know, where in America, ifyou work for one hour, you're
gonna get ten dollars.
Yeah, it's a huge difference.
And so me being in America gavethat opportunity to pick up my
my child, my boy, and put himinto another school.
It gave me the opportunity tobuy that plane ticket and say,
okay, you're going to Cancun tofinish your education.
(47:47):
Well, I'm not gonna let you goto Tijuana and and do all these,
have all this issue where inTijuana there's a huge
prostitution and where women getseverely.
And this is what I saw.
And this is not what my daughtersaw.
She didn't saw freedom.
When I went to Cancun for hergraduation, I came here.
I was able to see her graduationin Cancun and then bring her
(48:11):
back to Acapulco with us so thatshe could live with us and and
be able to spend time with me,which is what initially that's
what I wanted for her.
I wanted her to be able to tolive and to be able to learn who
I was and me learn who she is,but the relationship is broken.
SPEAKER_01 (48:31):
I really, really, really do hope that it it kind
of at some point resonates withyour daughter as well.
She's she's still quite young,and I think you know, it takes
maybe some time to kind of hit acertain level of maturity.
And as soon as as soon as theother person is like open to
listening to it, you know,things will change.
And I and I really hope that shekind of does kind of come around
and and see that story that Ithink the rest of the world is
(48:52):
starting to hear today.
But final final plugins,Timothy.
Tell us about your book, tell usabout your business.
Please do share that with us.
SPEAKER_02 (49:00):
Well, to to talk about the book, and actually
what you say right there, youknow, the thing is we have a
language barrier,Spanish-English language
barrier.
And so I don't know if you'vegotten to visit my website yet,
the family reunite network.com,but those have blogs on there of
who I am, of the stories that Iwant to share, of the knowledge
(49:22):
that I have, the experiencesthat I've had through the
struggles of who we become.
The book is also that it's toshare the story of my three
walks, and it's to share thestory of how I met my wife and
kids.
It's to share the knowledge thatI have been exposed to, and that
I may put it upon others, thatthey can learn a lesson and
(49:46):
maybe be inspired to be morethan what they are right now.
But that book is also for mykids, so that even when I can no
longer breathe, they can goback, even though they might
only know Spanish, that they cango and use the technology to be
able to go and translate.
(50:08):
I am actually working on asecond book as well called uh
Stumbling in the Dark Lookingfor the Light Switch, but this
one is going to be under geneticpredisposition.
Basically, a nature versusnurture.
So who are we as people?
What is it?
You know, my real father was apedophile, but I have his genes,
but does that make me him?
(50:30):
You know, it doesn't.
And so it's that nature.
I have the same hairstyle, Ihave the same eye color, but
what makes me him and what makesme me?
The nature versus nurture,genetic predisposition, it's
what makes us.
And so, you know, the stumblingin the dark, looking for the
light switch, it's it's what weall do.
(50:50):
We're we're looking for thatpathway that says, you know, and
that light switch that says,this is what I'm supposed to be
doing.
This is where I'm supposed to beat right now.
That's what that title drivesfrom is that stumbling in the
dark.
You know, we don't know wherewe're headed, but we're looking
for that aha moment.
This is where I'm supposed tobe.
SPEAKER_01 (51:12):
Wow.
Timothy, thank you so much forsharing your story and being
vulnerable over here.
I feel like there's so much wecan take away from your journey,
and I feel like our listenersare gonna have so much
inspiration just like I am rightnow.
So thank you once again.
SPEAKER_02 (51:25):
The one final thing I do have to say is just love
your family.
Hold on to them.
You know, every single momentmatters.
You know, we don't understandsometimes how much it means, but
just that getting up and makingbreakfast, making the bed, it
seems like a simple task, butit's those little moments that
make all the difference in theworld for your your family, for
(51:48):
your kids, and for your spouses.
SPEAKER_00 (51:54):
If you enjoyed the episode and would like to help
support the show, please followand subscribe.
You can rate and review yourfeedback on any of our platforms
listed in the description.
I'd like to recognize our guestswho are vulnerable and open to
share their life experienceswith us.
Thank you for showing us we'rehuman.
Also, a thank you to our teamwho worked so hard behind the
(52:14):
scenes to make it happen.
Stefan Menzel.
Lucas, Piri.
The show would be nothingwithout you.
I'm Jenica, host and writer ofthe show, and you're listening
to Multispective.
Popular Podcasts
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
My Favorite Murder is a true crime comedy podcast hosted by Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark. Each week, Karen and Georgia share compelling true crimes and hometown stories from friends and listeners. Since MFM launched in January of 2016, Karen and Georgia have shared their lifelong interest in true crime and have covered stories of infamous serial killers like the Night Stalker, mysterious cold cases, captivating cults, incredible survivor stories and important events from history like the Tulsa race massacre of 1921. My Favorite Murder is part of the Exactly Right podcast network that provides a platform for bold, creative voices to bring to life provocative, entertaining and relatable stories for audiences everywhere. The Exactly Right roster of podcasts covers a variety of topics including historic true crime, comedic interviews and news, science, pop culture and more. Podcasts on the network include Buried Bones with Kate Winkler Dawson and Paul Holes, That's Messed Up: An SVU Podcast, This Podcast Will Kill You, Bananas and more.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com