October 22, 2024 • 36 mins
The episode features Hafsa Taher, a business strategist, who discusses her journey in business and the importance of finding one's purpose. She highlights the significance of balancing inner work, like mindset and self-worth, with outer strategies for success. Key challenges for women, such as impostor syndrome and societal pressures, are explored. Hafsa stresses the importance of changing negative beliefs about money and aligning business goals with personal values. She also discusses the role of self-development and therapy in overcoming obstacles and building confidence.
Timestamps:
00:00 Introduction and Exciting Announcement
02:59 Inner Work vs. Outer Work in Business
03:57 Challenges Women Face in Business
06:33 Money Mindset and Beliefs
08:35 Transforming Negative Beliefs About Money
17:14 Overcoming Worthiness Issues in Business
18:14 The Comparison Game and Entitlement
18:43 Capitalism and Self-Worth
19:45 Redefining Value and Success
20:42 Aligning Intentions with Faith
22:26 Navigating Business with Passion
30:26 The Role of Therapy in Self-Development
About Hafsa Taher:
Hafsa Taher is a certified Muslim life coach trained through DiscoverU's Adwam Coaching program and a business strategist with over 15 years of business experience. Passionate about empowering others, Hafsa's coaching guides sisters through their own paths of fostering resilience, faith, and business growth.
Connect with Hafsa Taher:
Resources Mentioned:
- Brave, Not Perfect by Reshma Saujani
- Start with Why by Simon Sinek
- Billion Dollar Muslim by Khuram Malik
- Self-Compassion by Dr. Kristin Neff
- How to Be Single and Happy by Jennifer L. Taitz
- Playing Big by Tara Mohr
Sign up to the Muslim Life Hackers newsletter: https://muslimlifehackers.substack.com
Listen to the Podcast:
Connect with Muslim Life Hackers:
Connect with Mifrah Mahroof:
🏖️ This episode is sponsored by Sisters Explore, a company I founded to offer guided small-group travel for Muslim women to connect, explore, and enjoy faith-centered journeys. Learn more at http://www.sisters-explore.com
Disclaimer: Some links in this description are affiliate links.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Hafsa Taher (00:00):
Money was also a magnifier.
(00:01):
It magnifies what's inside you.
So if you have the money and itbrings out the good in you, it's
because you put what is alreadyinside.
Mifrah Mahroof (00:11):
Asalamu Alaikum, Muslim Life Hackers, and welcome
to the show.
I'm your host, Mifrah Mahroof,and I have some good news to
share with you all.
I'm going to be hosting aretreat in Sri Lanka called the
Growth Retreat.
This is going to be happening inFebruary 2025, and it's going to
be an experiential learningadventure where we will grow
together, connect with Allah,and have fun exploring the
(00:31):
country.
So if this sounds like somethingyou need in your life, I would
love to have you join us and getthe opportunity to meet you in
person.
So you can find more informationby going to
mifrahmahroof.com/retreat.
So I'll put a link to that inthe show notes.
So let's get started withtoday's episode.
So who I have on today is HafsaTaher.
(00:52):
So Hafsa is a certified Muslimlife coach trained through the
DiscoverU's Adwam coachingprogram.
And she's also a businessstrategist with over 15 years of
experience.
She's passionate about inspiringothers.
Hafsah coaches sisters throughtheir parts of fostering
resilience, faith, and businessgrowth.
So I hope you enjoy this episodeand let's get started.
(01:12):
So, from what I know about you,you have been a business
strategist for 10 years andyou're also a life hacker as
well.
So I'm very curious to know whatwas the why behind this?
why have you chosen to take this
Hafsa Taher (01:25):
parts.
Mm-Hmm.
So, you know what's funny how alot of people start with the
why?
For some people they have toactually do the thing and be
like, okay, why am I doing this?
Mifrah Mahroof (01:34):
Yeah, true,
Hafsa Taher (01:34):
So I had to work backwards.
I wanna say it was like 2000,2018.
So, 2012, I started my ownbusiness.
Before that, I was working onother people's business.
I've been in business for 15plus years, and I was in
business for making products forlike about 5 years at that
point.
And I'm like, you know what?
Why am I doing this?
(01:55):
Do I want to continue this?
Do I want to switch things?
So, I did write the book StartWith Why.
At that point and it really cameback to helping like when I
started business coaching ishelping people that were like
lost and not knowing what theywere doing.
Which is like me when I started,right?
That just became my why becauseI was like, you know what?
I know the person who I was andit wasn't so much about like,
(02:18):
oh, I don't know how to do thebusiness stuff.
It was a lot of like self worth.
It was a lot of like, nobodywants to buy my stuff.
Oh, I'm not good at this.
So why would people buy from me?
And all of those thoughts,right?
It was just a lot of coachingthat I needed when I was then.
And there wasn't a lot of peopleback then.
This is like, over 10 years ago,right?
So I wanted to help the peoplelike me to be like, okay, I want
them to go through the journey Iwent through to find themselves
(02:42):
into the business.
Mifrah Mahroof (02:44):
Right.
So, it was more like helpingthem with their inner work in
order for them to successfullylaunch their businesses and grow
Hafsa Taher (02:51):
right.
So I would say there's two partsto it, right?
There's the inner work and theouter work, right?
Inner work is the mindset work.
The outer work is the strategiesand we need that too, right?
We need to know how to sendemails.
We need to know how to optimizeour emails.
We need to know how to optimizeour Instagram posts.
What kind of posts work?
How to write a caption, right?
What's the best way to outlineit?
(03:11):
What to post, right?
These are all the outer work.
A lot of times we get stuck inthe outer work and we ignore the
inner work and then there arepeople who actually just do the
inner work.
Oh, I need to work on myperfectionism and I can't move
forward until I do that.
And they put their outer work,like actually doing the stuff
and like working on the businesson the back burner because of
their life.
Oh, I'm not good enough here.
(03:31):
I need to like work through myimposter syndrome and then I'll
go and do the stuff.
Mifrah Mahroof (03:34):
So you see two extremes of the spectrum.
Yes, all the time.
So that's interesting.
So which one do you find though,although you see the two
extremes, which one do you findthat is most ignored when it
comes to women getting intobusiness.
What is actually blocking womento start their business?
Because the influence in Google,ChatGPT.
Hafsa Taher (03:54):
I think the colonized mindset, and so we
need to go get education.
The colonized mindset is I needa degree.
They understand the concept ofgetting education.
And then what happens is whenit's about business, they think
I should just be able to figurethis out.
Why can't I figure this out?
What is wrong with me?
And then not to mention, thewomen are made to question
themselves.
and women are way more likely tohave imposter syndrome than men.
(04:17):
There's actually a book aboutit.
It's called Brave Not Perfect.
It's written by a person of, awoman of color.
She talks about, she used toteach kids coding in
kindergarten kids, like gradeone kids.
She would see the boys dosomething and run out there to
play.
The girls would be thereworking, working, working on the
thing.
And the teacher walks by with ablank screen.
The teacher like is control Zundo, control Z undo.
(04:40):
They see all this work that wasthere.
The girl is like, it wasn'tgood, it wasn't presentable.
So I just deleted it and I don'tthink it's good enough.
Whereas the boys did somethingand they were like, I'm done.
I'm going to go play.
So even at that age, I don'tknow what that is.
Nature, nurture.
I mean, that's a conversationfor another day, maybe.
But women question themselves alot more.
They have an imposter syndrome.
(05:01):
And they feel like sometimesasking for help or like
investing in themselves.
I shouldn't need to do that.
What's wrong with me?
Why can't I figure this out onmy own?
So it's like a really, there's alot of ways we are working on
ourselves.
We are trying to put ourselvesout there.
We're learning to invest when weneed to invest.
Like, the both of us know.
How important it is to takecourses, work with mentors, work
with coaches, you had guests whohave always also talked about
(05:24):
this as well.
Mifrah Mahroof (05:24):
Yeah 100%.
That's very interesting, how youmentioned about going back to
that sense of perfectionism andthen feeling like they can never
put things out there.
Hafsa Taher (05:33):
Yeah.
Mifrah Mahroof (05:34):
That's interesting.
So did you find though, whenthey were able to address those
inner blocks, they were able tomove forward and launch
Hafsa Taher (05:43):
It's an ongoing journey.
Every level has a new level,right?
Because what happens is, thefear of having more money, you
know, or I wanted to keep thebusiness small and then I
realized you know What like wehave companions who made a lot
of money, right?
They could realize that they'relike, okay, I can work through
that and then they get stuck.
They get to a different leveland they're like, you know what?
I think I can't go any furtherthan this I don't think I'm
capable.
(06:03):
I don't think women like me cando this, right?
So Every level comes up with anew challenge, I think.
So I think the journey neverends.
It's like an ongoing journey ofworking on yourself, like
learning the strategies outthere.
Like you said, AI is the newthing, right?
And so the technology ischanging, the outer work is
changing, the inner work ischanging as you're growing as
well.
Mifrah Mahroof (06:23):
So you mentioned something right there.
Fear of money.
What's that
Hafsa Taher (06:26):
So fear of money might not be the right way of
like how these people put it,but they might say things like,
Oh, I don't want to make a lotof money.
Like I actually had a time.
Who's like, Oh, I just want tomake enough money to pay for my
website.
She had a domain name and shehad hosting, right?
And it wasn't a whole lot.
It was worthless hosting, right?
It wasn't even make a monthlysubscription.
Right.
And she said, I just want enoughto make that.
(06:48):
And I was like, why are you justlike limiting it to that?
She's like, I just want this topay for itself.
That's it.
And she did some introspectionwork.
And she said, I think I used tothink if I made a lot of money,
there'd be a lot of problemsbecause this, she had this
experience with this.
There's someone close to afamily that became really
successful.
And some, one thing led to theother, one thing led to the
(07:09):
other and the concept and the,what ended up happening, that
situation, that the person wentthrough a divorce.
So in her mind, she made up thisstory.
If I make a lot of money, it'sgoing to impact my family,
negatively.
Mifrah Mahroof (07:20):
Hmm.
I
Hafsa Taher (07:20):
see.
So she had this blog aboutmoney.
She had this blog that if I madea lot of money, and then I had
another client who said, How canmaking money so easy for me when
it was not for my parents.
This whole idea of like ourparents was really hard.
I will sit here
Mifrah Mahroof (07:36):
Yeah.
and what was
Hafsa Taher (07:37):
right?
Yes, money, making money ishard, yes.
And now that making money seemseasy, oh, but I can't, I
shouldn't be making more than myparents.
Right?
These are all the things whenyou start digging deep on like,
okay, why do I feel that way?
Where does this thought comefrom?
Why do I feel like money shouldbe hard to make?
All these thoughts and yes, yougot to do the work.
(07:58):
And for some things, like whenyou're in the flow and you might
just be like, Oh, I do somethingI'm so good at and I get paid
for it.
And it might not seem like hardwork, but it just comes so
naturally to you for sometimes.
But for some people, they havethese stories that they can tell
themselves.
Money will make me a bad Muslim.
Money will make me a bad parent,a bad spouse, a bad family
member, right?
(08:19):
Money will make me cause moreproblems because I wouldn't know
what to do with it or I'm goingto be bad at managing it.
Mifrah Mahroof (08:26):
Hmm.
I see.
So what are your thoughts onmoney is going to make me a bad
Muslim?
Because that's an
Hafsa Taher (08:31):
is.
In my book club, I run a bookclub called Strong Believers,
and we're reading a book calledBillion Dollar Muslim.
So we're reading a book calledBillion Dollar Muslim.
It's written by someone in theU.
K.
called Malik.
And he talks about how havingmore money is just like having
more food at home.
You can't say, oh, the peopleout there that are hungry, so
I'm not going to have a lot offood at home.
(08:52):
We don't say stuff like that.
We just, okay, you know what, ifI get a lot of food, that's
perfect.
I can share it with otherpeople.
It's probably a very logicalthought.
But with money, it feels likeone, I think it's a very
Christian idea that money is theroot of all evil.
Right?
Oh, that money is actually takesyou to the hellfire.
Yes, it's a responsibility.
And yes, there are things you'vegot to be careful about, right?
(09:14):
Money, honor, prestige, or evenany responsibility, right?
money is just that.
Money was also a magnifier.
It magnifies what's inside you.
So if you have the money and itbrings out the good in you, it's
because you put what is alreadyinside.
So having money allows you to doso much good.
Is it a responsibility?
Does it mean that got to learnto make sure you pay zakat on
(09:34):
time, make sure you purify yourwealth?
Yes.
Just like anything out there,right?
When you have an additionalresponsibility and an additional
honor of privilege, you got tomake sure it's used properly
Mifrah Mahroof (09:46):
Hmm.
True.
I really like the analogy aboutmoney being like extra food at
home.
It sounds really funny when you
Hafsa Taher (09:52):
can compare it to like sandwiches.
He's like, no, I don't want asandwich because I'm going to be
a bad person if I have too manysandwiches.
Mifrah Mahroof (10:00):
Yeah.
True.
Right.
Because like if you have a lotof sandwiches, you can just give
it away.
But then, like you said, itdepends on who you are, because
if you're a natural hoarder, youmight be like, Oh, I want to
freeze those sandwiches.
Hafsa Taher (10:10):
right.
And that might not be a badidea, like you were like, you
know what?
Mifrah Mahroof (10:13):
Yeah, it might not be a bad idea, but maybe you
might have to buy anotherfreezer to accommodate all the
sandwiches.
Hafsa Taher (10:19):
right.
So maybe the intention is I'mgoing to freeze all these
sandwiches so I have more timeto work, to do more good things,
right?
Again, it goes back to theintention, right?
Mifrah Mahroof (10:27):
Yeah.
yeah.
True.
True.
There's so many ways you can goabout with it because money is
definitely the power of today'stime,
Hafsa Taher (10:34):
Yes.
And I think money has thisnegative connotation to it, like
in our heads, but that's why itdoesn't feel the same as
sandwiches.
Doesn't feel the same as food.
Like, we wouldn't say the stuffwe say about money, they would
the same things.
We wouldn't say the same thingabout sandwiches like that.
But when you replace the word,you're like, you don't have that
emotional attachment or theemotional, what's keeping you
away from it, right?
(10:54):
Like with money, we have thisthing about like, oh, I don't
want it, you know?
It's going to make me a badperson, it's going to make me a
bad Muslim, it's going to createmore problems for me, and our
minds are designed to keep ussafe, so we find ways to keep
ourselves safe in what fits ourstories, right?
Mifrah Mahroof (11:12):
Wow, that's amazing.
There's, like so much going onin our heads that's stopping us
from just like taking an action,because if you go Google it or
chatGPT in, you know, do ABCD.
And then it's like, why can't I
Hafsa Taher (11:23):
that's right, That's right, yes, 100%.
So I actually did a boot campcalled Bust Your BS Beliefs.
BS is an acronym for beliefsystems, from one of our
mentors, Sheikh Muhammad AlSharif Rahimullah, he would call
belief system BS because I mean,our belief system is BS
sometimes, right?
We have made up all thesestories, said, Oh, you know
what?
If I make more money, this isgoing to happen.
(11:45):
If I become successful, this isgoing to happen.
A lot of BS stories that we madeup, right?
So I once did a workshop calledBS Belief Buster, and we talked
about all the negative beliefsmost people have, how to be
like, okay, this is the negativebelief I have, once I have that,
I know this is the consequenceof it, but that's not the result
I want.
This is the new result I want,what belief do I need to have,
(12:06):
right?
And changing beliefs takes time,but at least you got to be open
to that belief.
Like, okay, I will be open tothis belief that money is not a
bad thing.
Mifrah Mahroof (12:15):
So would you say a new belief would sound
something like money's not a bad
Hafsa Taher (12:19):
thing.
Yeah.
And not the other extreme wouldbe, I love money, right?
I mean, you're so averse tomoney right now.
You can go to the extreme andyour mind's like, that's BS.
So I actually had a money blocktoo.
So Sheikh Muhammad Al SharifRahimullah in the Western mind,
what he did is that was reallysmart.
He started, he took my belief aslike a table.
He started pulling the legsunder the table.
(12:40):
He's like, okay, why do you havethat
Mifrah Mahroof (12:41):
believe
Hafsa Taher (12:42):
It was such a smart thing.
Alhamdulillah, I really thinkthat made a huge transformation
for me.
It was that
Mifrah Mahroof (12:49):
That's the power of good mentors, right?
Hafsa Taher (12:51):
right?
And like
Mifrah Mahroof (12:52):
Amazing.
They just call
Hafsa Taher (12:54):
This is like, over 4 years ago now, SubhanAllah,
like, made me a Sadaqah Jariyah,of all the good I do, made me a
Sadaqah Jariyah for him, right?
So he takes your belief, andhe'd be like, okay, why do you
think that's true?
And I'll be like, because this,this, this happened.
And what if that person wasn'teven talking to you?
What if that person was wrong?
What if that person was talkingabout somebody else, not to you,
(13:16):
right?
and then I was like, oh, butthen this is what happened to
the other person.
And he's like, are you surethat's the full story?
Did you go into their house andsee what they do?
Right?
So he started pulling the legsfrom under the belief, the old
belief.
So he's like, okay, now it's awobbly belief, right?
Now you need a new belief toreplace that.
You're like, okay, that doesn'tmake sense anymore.
Okay.
What do I want to believe then?
Money is not such a bad thing.
(13:37):
Money can make good thingshappen too, right?
It's not, oh, I love money.
It's not from one extreme to theother extreme.
It's kind of like in between thetwo.
Okay, money might not be such abad thing because you want to
give your brain like somethingthat's believable, not like
extremes.
Sometimes affirmations are likethat, like they're so extreme
that you can't even connect withthem.
So I feel like you've got to gofrom the old belief to something
(13:59):
like that, but a little bitneutral to the new belief.
Mifrah Mahroof (14:02):
So it's not like a drastic change.
100%
Hafsa Taher (14:04):
percent yeah, because your brain is like, what
the hell?
Yeah, Yeah,
Mifrah Mahroof (14:08):
I see.
So it's interesting.
You said that, we shouldn't jumpall the way to like the belief
of I love money, but then youcould say, I love sandwiches
Hafsa Taher (14:17):
yeah, you could.
But then can you feel that inyourself and say, I really
genuinely love money, right?
and you want to get to thatplace maybe where you're like,
okay, I love the good I can dowith money.
I wanna be able to give thismuch zakat.
I wanna be able to like, youknow I really interesting what
somebody in like which is thecause for duas, they took a
screenshot, they were on thiswebsite for fundraising website.
(14:38):
You know, like on some platformsyou can click on the top donors,
you can see how much like otherpeople gave.
So they clicked on the topdonors.
And the person on that websitehad given like$10,000 a top
donor.
So they took a screenshot ofthat and changed and put their
own name then they said, I wantto be this person who can give
$10,000.
Right?
I was like that.
(14:59):
right?
I was just like mind blown.
I'm like, you know what?
Like, you don't even think likethat.
Sometimes you like, imagine justlike sitting there, somebody
sends you a link saying, Oh, myfriend's fundraising for this
person, the storm, thehurricane, whatever the relief
workers.
Lebanon now, and you get thatlink and you're like, okay,
10,000 right there, it's okay.
Didn't even make a dentanywhere.
Right.
(15:19):
to be able to do that.
Mifrah Mahroof (15:20):
Yeah, yeah, true.
Because even for Allah SWT like$1 is like the same as$10,000.
We're the one, that's right,who's giving it significance.
Hafsa Taher (15:29):
And also Islamically, we are meant to
have money in our hands, not aheart.
Not to be so attached to it andto be like, Every up and down is
like taking a breath away.
It's like, Oh, the stock's beendown.
Oh no, my money, my money, mymoney.
Right.
Obviously you want to likebalance that with your risk
levels, but yeah.
Mifrah Mahroof (15:49):
Yeah.
True.
It's a very important point youmentioned because if we do have
money in our hearts, thensometimes like it's a blessing
that Allah SWT hasn't givenmoney to a certain person,
because maybe that could be asource of a lot of trial for
them.
that they can't handle and maybejust having a little bit of
money was sufficient for them.
But for someone who feels like,Hey, I can do a lot of good with
money.
(16:09):
I can manage it and give and doall these amazing things.
Then it's a different story, butI think like you were saying,
like we tend to have this moneyis an evil thing and let's not
go near money.
So then a lot of us are notsuccesfull when work.
Hafsa Taher (16:22):
That's right.
Yeah.
Mifrah Mahroof (16:23):
getting out and doing a business, right?
Hafsa Taher (16:25):
Yes.
So it's so important to work tothat inner dialogue, inner talk,
inner belief system, the BS, tobe like, what's my thought,
what's my belief about this?
Which they thought that'scausing me to feel this way,
right?
So when you're able to do theinner work, like for me, it was
like writing it down to be like,actually see it in writing.
And I'm like, what the heck?
Like, I believe that.
And when you take that beliefout, it's kind of like one of
(16:48):
those playing card houses, youpull one card out, the whole
thing coming down, right?
Because you built the entirestructure of that one B is
belief, right?
So when you pull the falsebelief out, you're like, Oh,
wait, that thought doesn't existanymore.
Okay, bye.
Okay.
Nevermind, nevermind.
Mifrah Mahroof (17:04):
What other challenges did you have when you
were getting into this businessspace?
the first one I'm hearing is themoney beliefs, what else was
coming up?
Hafsa Taher (17:14):
Okay, the other part of it is use measuring your
worthiness with the income youmake, right?
So, it's kind of like withbusiness, I mean, there are all
these entrepreneurs and businessowners talking about, Okay, I
had a 10k month, I had a 10kweek, I had a 5k day, right?
There are all these numbersbeing thrown around and you here
are like, okay, I made a hundreddollars yesterday and I haven't
(17:36):
made anything else the entiremonth, right?
And number one, it's such aobvious thing to be like, okay,
who are you comparing yourselfto?
What's other in chapter 25 andnew chapter two, right?
But we forget about that.
We forget that there's more towhat we see.
More to what we don't see,right?
We like, okay, we assume like,okay.
They are making 100k a month.
(17:58):
I should have been there too.
Do they have a team that theyare, like, spending the entire
thing over?
Are they in the negatives?
Who cares?
They are making that much.
I should be making
Mifrah Mahroof (18:07):
True.
That might not even be theirtake home, right?
Hafsa Taher (18:09):
I should be making that much too, right?
So it's kind of that comparisongame to be like, okay, I should
be doing that much too.
And ultimately, I think there'slike a little bit of
entitlement, like, I have beenworking so hard, I have been
promoting this, nobody isbuying.
Well, nobody owes us anything,right?
Is there like work I need to doon my marketing?
Do I need to understand?
Like, do I need to get moreclear about what I'm offering,
(18:31):
right?
There needs to be someintrospection too.
But like this whole idea oflike, I'm as worthy as the
amount of money I make.
We live in a very capitalisticsociety.
That's trained us to think aboutproductivity as money making
activities, you know, or like ajob, a business, right?
Like a woman who stays at homemight feel like, Oh, I've not
(18:51):
been productive.
What?
Like I don't do anything in anyways, right?
Like I don't do anything, right?
So we live in a verycapitalistic society that is
really focused on money.
So what ends up happening is,because we live and breathe in
that model, we measure our ownworthiness with money, right?
It's like, oh, I'm only worthywhen I'm making money.
Okay, business struggling when2020 COVID happened, a lot of my
(19:15):
clients cancelled, and thatwould have been time if I hadn't
done the inner work, I wouldhave been like, I suck, nobody
wants to work with me anymore,right?
Versus being like, okay, what'sthe situation in the world right
now?
What's happening?
But there was a time when Iwould be like, okay, if I'm not
making money, who am I anyways,right?
I just, I'm supposed to bemaking money.
I'm supposed to be doing betterthan this.
(19:35):
So this whole idea of worthinessthat comes from how much you
make.
Mifrah Mahroof (19:40):
Yeah.
Yeah.
That whole part about thatcapitalist mentality that seeps
into these areas of our life andabout how women who, you know,
like they're measured both bymoney and it's sad because it's
not like that.
Hafsa Taher (19:54):
No, no, a hundred percent.
And then even the ones that aremaking money, say like have job.
And then they go through somekind of life change, a new
season of life, whether they getmove away, they have to take
time off from their work.
They have taken the only metricthat was measuring their
worthiness, it's been taken, itdoesn't exist anymore.
The amount of money they've got,right?
Now they're like, Oh, who am Inow?
(20:16):
Like that was the only metricthey had.
They were holding onto them.
Now they're like, okay, I'm notmaking the money.
What am I doing with my life?
Who am I anymore?
Because that was the only valuethat went on value of the
measure of worthiness they had.
Mifrah Mahroof (20:30):
So how do you look at value?
Hafsa Taher (20:32):
I think we are inherently valuable.
So there isn't anything externalthat actually makes us valuable,
right?
As a creation of Allah, ourworthiness is there, isn't it a
hadith that says, like, a humanbeing is more sacred than the
Kaaba.
There's things we wouldn't harmthe Kaaba, but we don't think
(20:52):
twice before hurting anotherhuman being, another brother or
sister in Islam, right?
But treat ourselves as unworthy.
And I think, again, Catholicistsociety, and again, how people
see us, how we see ourselves.
When you study the names ofAllah SWT, you're able to
understand who He is, and seewho you are, as well.
(21:13):
I think understanding the namesof Allah SWT, how merciful He
is, how just He is, how wise Heis, how much He appreciates.
I think that was one name ofAllah SWT that really, really
changed the way I look at, like,the outcome, appreciates.
That means, even me trying, evenif I'm not making that 100k a
(21:34):
month, I tried and heappreciates that.
He rewards me for that, right?
And, right, and then methinking, okay, I didn't make
the money, but Allah doesn't seethat.
Allah looks at my heart.
What did I do?
Did I try?
Did I do my best, right?
So it adds, it's 100%, like,takes the only measure of
success I had the money andreplaces it with, who is judging
(21:55):
me?
who is the one who is actuallyrewarding me, who is the one who
is actually looking at my workand thinking, am I doing a good
job or not, right?
Now you're like, okay, as longas I'm trying, as long as I'm
doing my best, I'm worthy, andas long as I'm doing my best,
Allah is rewarding me.
Mifrah Mahroof (22:14):
Yeah.
Yeah.
True.
And I wonder if that thoughtprocess would happen if you got
into business for the rightreasons and not just to get in
because everyone says, Oh, thisis the place to make
Hafsa Taher (22:27):
money.
That's right.
Mifrah Mahroof (22:28):
get 10K,
Hafsa Taher (22:29):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's really interestingbecause I was at a speed
networking event, speednetworking.
So it was like a speed dating,but for networking.
And one woman was like, okay, Iwant to start an export
business.
Where's the most money?
And I'm like, I think you shouldbe asking yourself, what do you
like?
What are you passionate about?
Because this combination of, Ilove this.
(22:52):
I'm good at this.
This is what my experience is.
This is what I can talk about.
This is what I appreciate.
And this is what the marketneeds.
Like that combination, the onediagram, right?
The three circles, where do theymerge.
Because what do people need iswhere the money is too, right?
So, because you can do somethingfor the money, but how much
heart is in there?
How much passion is in there?
How much interest is in there,right?
(23:13):
when I was in school, I finishedcollege.
My friend would send me lists oflike Google articles like, oh,
here's a list of 15 businesseswe can start.
And I'm like, I don't care aboutany of these.
Mifrah Mahroof (23:25):
Yeah.
Hafsa Taher (23:26):
So I definitely think there has to be like an
interest in there for you to belike, okay, why am I doing this?
Yes.
The bigger why, but also do Ieven care about this?
Mifrah Mahroof (23:37):
I feel like this is not like said enough because
online, when you go to business,you'd be like, Oh, the top 10
business ideas and look how muchI'm making.
And it's like, that is theconversation in the business
space.
It's like the capitalistmentality, right?
It's All about the money.
Like the thing you wereworshipping is the money.
Hafsa Taher (23:54):
That's right.
It starts then and ends there.
Yes.
Mifrah Mahroof (23:57):
So it's really aligning your intention back to
Allah and
Hafsa Taher (24:01):
think about it
Mifrah Mahroof (24:02):
knowing that he's the one who's giving you
Hafsa Taher (24:03):
the money.
Yeah.
Think about it this way, twothings that come to me, we want
at the end of the day and on theday of judgment, we want all of
the things we did to show up onthe right scape, like on the
right hand side.
And if we make the intention ofpraising Allah, like one of my
mentors said, like justrecently.
A couple of months ago, shesaid, every morning make the
intention, Oh Allah, everythingI do today, I do it for your
(24:24):
sake.
And I'm going to forget thissometimes, remind me and accept
it for your sake.
Accept it for your sake, andintentions change all the time,
and one of the teachers said,intentions are like a toddler,
they keep running away.
So, you got to keep bringingthem back and be like, okay,
reminding yourself why you'redoing that, you'll get that.
So it's really important to keepin mind, like.
Yes, I have to keep purifying myintention because I want this to
(24:46):
count on the day of judgment.
Actions are by intention, right?
So actions are judged by theirintention.
So every action I do, I want tomake sure I'm getting rewarded
for it.
Because what if we work so hardhere and then on the Day of
Judgment, there's nothing for usto show for.
So we want to make sureeverything we do is done with
the right intention, even ifit's like, I don't work with
(25:06):
Muslim women, say for example,like I don't teach Islam, I
don't teach people to pray, I'mnot doing all those work, but my
intentions are to learn andhalal living, right?
That's good I don't have to bein a Muslim business.
Earning a halal living.
So, making sure that you aremaking that intention in the
morning or when you start doingsomething or whatever you
remember and being mindful ofthat.
(25:28):
And the other thing is I read aChristian book once that talked
about how God is your migratingmanager.
God is the one who is actuallybringing you the clients.
I was reading this book whenCOVID happened, that's why it
stuck with me.
So, you know, how we look at ourwebsite and like, Oh, I'm not
getting the sales.
I'm not getting the sales.
Okay.
How many people clicked on mything today?
Oh, nobody clicked.
(25:49):
How many people opened my email?
Nobody signed up, right?
But Allah SWT is providing ussustenance in so many other
ways, but I'm like focused onthis one thing.
And put my head down and I'mlike, I want to see it here and
there's like stuff all aroundme, so sometimes we think that
the risk, the sustenance is notcoming, but sometimes the
channel is blocked.
(26:10):
But the other channels, theother channels, the other like
pipelines, because the source isstill Allah.
it's like saying, okay, you'reopening the faucet in your kit,
in your washroom.
And they're like, there's nowater anywhere.
And then somebody else would belike, listen, there's just no
water here.
It's okay.
There's water in the entirehouse, you know?
All the other taps are fine.
All the other faucets are fine.
Right?
But you are standing at thatlong faucet and being like,
(26:31):
there is no money here.
Why?
How come I'm not making themoney?
But you are being blessed in somany different ways, right?
And sometimes there's differenttypes of risks.
Sometimes you're getting a freeprogram, a free course.
Sometimes you're getting, amembership to something you
didn't pay for.
Sometimes you're getting anopportunity, a free webinar, a
free download that you got thatgives you this insight that you
never thought was possible,right?
(26:52):
That you couldn't even lookingfor, right?
So Allah can be opening doorsfor you of like risk and
sustenance in so many ways.
But we stay focused on thinkingit has to come from this place
only.
Yeah, it
Mifrah Mahroof (27:04):
sounds like there is again, that attachment
to money.
It's like money is the only formof risk, whereas risk can be a
good word, people, ideas, oreven things making sense to you.
Like how many times have we bothconsumed something and it didn't
click until later, that click.
It's from Allah, right?
Hafsa Taher (27:23):
My friend, she has a dua, she made a post a long
time ago.
She said, one of my studentsmade this dua, Oh Allah, Yaa
Fattah, the opener.
Ya Fattah open doors for me thatI didn't even know were closed.
I love that so much.
Because you don't even know.
Mifrah Mahroof (27:38):
That's
Hafsa Taher (27:39):
beautiful.
Yeah, you don't even know whatexactly that's gonna look like.
Ya Fattah, opened doors for methat I didn't even know were
closed.
Mifrah Mahroof (27:45):
Yeah, I think it's really coming back to that
decolonizing our mindsets andseeing that it's not just about
the
Hafsa Taher (27:53):
Mm-Hmm.
Mifrah Mahroof (27:53):
Which by the way, paper money, obviously it's
not real.
It's important to have theseconversations and for us to
really challenge what webelieve, because these could be
the very blockers that'sstopping us from achieving What
we want in our lives.
And if it's business, which isour goal.
And I've seen many streetsisters and I'm sure that you've
seen it more.
They've been saying they want tohave a business and then many
years go by and they're still
Hafsa Taher (28:14):
in the same place.
Mifrah Mahroof (28:15):
business.
Hafsa Taher (28:16):
Yes.
Yes, yes.
Mifrah Mahroof (28:18):
Yeah.
Hafsa Taher (28:19):
Yeah.
I get that.
Mifrah Mahroof (28:20):
Actually, what do you say to that?
If they're in the same placelike three years later, they're
still in the same place.
What would you tell them to do?
Hafsa Taher (28:26):
What would I tell them to do the same place for
three years?
I'm like, you just don't want,just accept it.
Oh, it's nice to have fancyvanity kind of du'as, or you're
almost like, I need to loseweight.
I need to drink more water.
Right.
Do I care about that?
No, I don't.
I need to have a business.
It's kind of like, Oh, it'll becool.
I don't care about it.
Obviously, if you've not doneanything with me, you don't
care.
Because if you cared enoughabout it, if you really wanted
(28:48):
it, you'd have at least startedsomething.
You would have figured somethingout on your own.
Yeah.
I mean, you know what?
Like, either we can spend timeon something or we can spend
money.
And some people have money andsome people have time.
When you have this you have thetime you're like, okay, I will
Mifrah Mahroof (29:02):
and the better type of risk,
Hafsa Taher (29:03):
yes exactly.
Yes.
So to be able to be like, okayYou know what?
I have extra time.
I'm gonna watch some YouTubevideos I'm gonna listen to the
podcast and get inspired rightread some books and get inspired
and if you have the money, workwith the coach and be like,
okay, I really want to do this,but I have no idea how to get
started I even tried askingChatGPT and I'm still stuck.
(29:24):
And then you're able to workwith the coach and be like,
okay, this is my goal.
This is where I want to get to.
What are the baby steps I needto take?
Because you can only start, youcan only eat an elephant one
bite at a time.
Don't imagine it.
Don't picture it.
Mifrah Mahroof (29:37):
At the end of the day, I'm just thinking about
the elephants because I waslooking up a lot of elephant
parks in Sri Lanka and I waslike, oh, look, all these
elephants.
Hafsa Taher (29:44):
That's right.
You can only eat an elephant onebite at a time.
Mifrah Mahroof (29:47):
They're massive animals, I don't know if
talalteed animal, I meanelephant, FYI, if anyone
listening, we're talking abouteating elephants.
Hafsa Taher (29:55):
Yes, please do let us know.
I'm going to change that analogyto something else then.
Mifrah Mahroof (30:00):
Alhamdulillah.
All right.
Well, we're actually close toending up interview.
There's so many things we cantouch upon and, MashaAllah,
there's a lot I can learn fromyou, but time is time.
So we'll just go straight to ourquestions that we have here.
What is one life hack that youfound improved your life?
Hafsa Taher (30:16):
I think it was self development.
I think we started to read a lotof books, listen to podcasts and
then working with the therapistbecause again, like seeing those
blogs, sometimes a coach can dothat for you.
Sometimes you need a therapistto be able to be like, where's
that story coming from.
To be able to like really undoit, especially if it's deeper,
like childhood phase, sometimesyou need a therapist for that,
(30:37):
right?
And it's not like a lifelongthing that you need.
The therapist will teach youstrategies to be like, okay,
when you have thoughts likethese, this is the kind of thing
you apply to it.
This is the kind of tools, theyempower you with the tools and
they like last you for yourentire life.
And here's the thing I alwayssay, Your ceiling will become
the floor to your children.
So, do the best you can.
Improve yourself.
(30:58):
Work on yourself.
It is so powerful, right?
Your ceiling is going to becomethe floor to them.
So do it for their sake.
Give them a higher floor thanyou had.
Mifrah Mahroof (31:07):
All right, let's, yeah, I'm just like
processing.
I was like, oh my gosh.
Hafsa Taher (31:10):
That's right.
Your ceiling is the floor toyour kids.
Mifrah Mahroof (31:12):
Yeah, like I've always thought about this,
especially with my daughter, butthe way you're wording it is
like, okay.
Hafsa Taher (31:18):
I heard it from someone else.
Yes.
Mifrah Mahroof (31:20):
Yeah.
All right.
But I'm actually curious thatyou mentioned that part about
therapists.
How would you go about finding agood therapist can work for you?
Because a lot of people will sayexperiences like, Oh, I went to
a
Hafsa Taher (31:31):
therapist, it didn't work.
Yeah.
There's a lot of different typesof therapists.
Modalities.
Yes.
Something like that.
Yes.
Modalities.
Yes.
There's a lot of differentcoaches have different
modalities.
Some are talk therapy, some aremore somatic therapy, like where
do you feel that in your bodykind of thing, right?
Yeah.
Some are more like movementkind.
Some are more like, okay, let'stake that thought you have and
let's come up with a moreneutral thought.
(31:52):
Like, let's see where thatthought came from.
Everybody's different, right?
So I have had a therapist thatwas CBT trained, Cognitive
Behavior Therapy.
I think that is really good insome things, but I've also
worked with an EMDR specialist,which is like eye movement.
They basically change yourbeliefs to eye movement, right?
So thinking, like really gettinga feel for what the different
(32:13):
therapists are there and bookingone session with them.
And you can't like decide if thetherapist is right for you after
one session, you have to stickwith them for like at least
three, four sessions, becausethe first one could just be
information intake, right?
We're just asking you questionsto figure out like, what are you
dealing with?
What do you need help with?
So don't jump the gun on thefirst session.
I almost did that.
(32:33):
I'm like, no, this isn't theright thing for me.
And I still go back to mytherapist when I need it, right?
So I would say, it definitelytakes time.
Be patient, try differentmodalities.
Whether it's somatic therapy,there's good in everyone.
It's like, what do I need?
Where are you seeing the mostresults?
Where, what do you need at whattime?
So it takes time.
(32:53):
And then still there's specificthings I'm like, you know what,
when I get stuck in my head, Igo to my blood therapist, right?
But if something else comes upthat I need to really process it
in my body, like I know I'llhave a lot of back pain, a lot
of shoulder pain, or I know likethere's something really from my
childhood that's, that I need toprocess, Somatic therapy, but
there's so many more, right?
So there are a lot more therapy,now that'll be immuno therapist,
(33:16):
therapists that are Muslim now,they have the Islamic awareness
to it, Islamic side added to it,right?
Like they hold the connectionbetween the ruh and the
qobiliyati al-aql right.
So that I able to look at itfrom an Islamic perspective too.
So that's lot of options outthere.
So yeah, give it a shot and saybismillah and look for
testimonials again, like Arfawas saying.
Talk to people, look fortestimonials, but you won't know
(33:38):
until you actually give it a trysometimes.
Mifrah Mahroof (33:40):
True.
Alhamdulillah.
Okay.
And, what would you say is abook or books that's helped you
level up in your life?
Cause I know you spoke
Hafsa Taher (33:48):
Yes, yes, yes, There are a lot actually.
I think books, I probably readlike 50 books in one year, like
one at one point.
Mifrah Mahroof (33:57):
That's amazing.
Hafsa Taher (33:58):
I know I was just on this knowledge binge, but
then again, that was a lot ofinner work.
I had to go back into the outerwork, right?
So, bringing it full circle backto the beginning again.
So a lot of inner workbooks, Ithink this is a good
combination.
You know, Self Compassion,Kristen Neff is a really good
one because we're so hard onourselves.
Oh, this should be easy for us.
(34:18):
Why do I have to ask for help?
I suck if I have to ask forhelp, right?
A lot of these self compassionconversations.
Self Compassion is a good one.
How to be single and happy.
Even if you're not single, Ithink you will learn to see life
differently.
How to be single and happy.
If you are single, definitelytake a look at that book, and I
know sometimes you feel like ifI get to this goal, my life, all
(34:40):
my problems will be solved,right?
It's so funny when I talk abouthow to be single and happy
because we saw it, we met whenwe were both single.
Mifrah Mahroof (34:47):
Yeah, yeah.
True.
right?
Yeah.
We go
Hafsa Taher (34:49):
That's right.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes, Alhamdulillah.
Maybe you just got it when wemet.
I know, but yeah, how to besingle and happy and then
Playing Big by Tara Mohr, M O HR, is the last thing.
Playing big is really goodbecause all the things about the
things that we are trained inthe society to be quiet, play it
small, not make too much noise,right?
(35:10):
As women, we are taught to bealmost invisible, like really
shrink down to fit other people,play it small, but playing big
is really good.
So tell them all playing big,how to be single and happy.
I forgot to write the name ofthe author, but I'm sure this is
the only book with that title.
How to be single and happy, SelfCompassion.
Brave Not Perfect was the otherone that we started off with,
(35:31):
but yeah, there's a lot of booksthat you can come back to me
for.
Mifrah Mahroof (35:35):
put them into the show notes, so that nobody
needs to take any notes
Hafsa Taher (35:39):
That's great.
Mifrah Mahroof (35:39):
find it in the show notes.
So awesome.
Okay.
And Hafsa, where can ourlisteners find
Hafsa Taher (35:44):
you?
Awesome.
I think Instagram is probablythe best place.
Hafsataher.com,hafsataher.coaching is the
Instagram handy.
Please send me a DM and tell meyou listen to the podcast.
I'd love to connect and see whatresonated with your biggest
takeaway.
InshaAllah.
Mifrah Mahroof (35:59):
Oh, wonderful.
Well, thank you so much forcoming on.
Hafsa Taher (36:01):
Thank you for having me.
Mifrah Mahroof (36:03):
Hey everyone.
That wraps up another episodefrom the Muslim Life Hackers
podcast.
I really hope you enjoyed ourchat today.
I've got some great takeaways.
if you like what you heard anddon't want to miss out on our
next conversations, hit thatsubscribe button on YouTube,
Apple Podcasts, Spotify, orwherever you're listening to
this from.
It means a lot to us, and ithelps us reach more people who
can benefit from this show.
(36:23):
Thank you again for tuning in.
Until next time, keep strivingand getting better every day.
Money was also a magnifier.
(00:01):
It magnifies what's inside you.
So if you have the money and itbrings out the good in you, it's
because you put what is alreadyinside.
Mifrah Mahroof (00:11):
Asalamu Alaikum, Muslim Life Hackers, and welcome
to the show.
I'm your host, Mifrah Mahroof,and I have some good news to
share with you all.
I'm going to be hosting aretreat in Sri Lanka called the
Growth Retreat.
This is going to be happening inFebruary 2025, and it's going to
be an experiential learningadventure where we will grow
together, connect with Allah,and have fun exploring the
(00:31):
country.
So if this sounds like somethingyou need in your life, I would
love to have you join us and getthe opportunity to meet you in
person.
So you can find more informationby going to
mifrahmahroof.com/retreat.
So I'll put a link to that inthe show notes.
So let's get started withtoday's episode.
So who I have on today is HafsaTaher.
(00:52):
So Hafsa is a certified Muslimlife coach trained through the
DiscoverU's Adwam coachingprogram.
And she's also a businessstrategist with over 15 years of
experience.
She's passionate about inspiringothers.
Hafsah coaches sisters throughtheir parts of fostering
resilience, faith, and businessgrowth.
So I hope you enjoy this episodeand let's get started.
(01:12):
So, from what I know about you,you have been a business
strategist for 10 years andyou're also a life hacker as
well.
So I'm very curious to know whatwas the why behind this?
why have you chosen to take this
Hafsa Taher (01:25):
parts.
Mm-Hmm.
So, you know what's funny how alot of people start with the
why?
For some people they have toactually do the thing and be
like, okay, why am I doing this?
Mifrah Mahroof (01:34):
Yeah, true,
Hafsa Taher (01:34):
So I had to work backwards.
I wanna say it was like 2000,2018.
So, 2012, I started my ownbusiness.
Before that, I was working onother people's business.
I've been in business for 15plus years, and I was in
business for making products forlike about 5 years at that
point.
And I'm like, you know what?
Why am I doing this?
(01:55):
Do I want to continue this?
Do I want to switch things?
So, I did write the book StartWith Why.
At that point and it really cameback to helping like when I
started business coaching ishelping people that were like
lost and not knowing what theywere doing.
Which is like me when I started,right?
That just became my why becauseI was like, you know what?
I know the person who I was andit wasn't so much about like,
(02:18):
oh, I don't know how to do thebusiness stuff.
It was a lot of like self worth.
It was a lot of like, nobodywants to buy my stuff.
Oh, I'm not good at this.
So why would people buy from me?
And all of those thoughts,right?
It was just a lot of coachingthat I needed when I was then.
And there wasn't a lot of peopleback then.
This is like, over 10 years ago,right?
So I wanted to help the peoplelike me to be like, okay, I want
them to go through the journey Iwent through to find themselves
(02:42):
into the business.
Mifrah Mahroof (02:44):
Right.
So, it was more like helpingthem with their inner work in
order for them to successfullylaunch their businesses and grow
Hafsa Taher (02:51):
right.
So I would say there's two partsto it, right?
There's the inner work and theouter work, right?
Inner work is the mindset work.
The outer work is the strategiesand we need that too, right?
We need to know how to sendemails.
We need to know how to optimizeour emails.
We need to know how to optimizeour Instagram posts.
What kind of posts work?
How to write a caption, right?
What's the best way to outlineit?
(03:11):
What to post, right?
These are all the outer work.
A lot of times we get stuck inthe outer work and we ignore the
inner work and then there arepeople who actually just do the
inner work.
Oh, I need to work on myperfectionism and I can't move
forward until I do that.
And they put their outer work,like actually doing the stuff
and like working on the businesson the back burner because of
their life.
Oh, I'm not good enough here.
(03:31):
I need to like work through myimposter syndrome and then I'll
go and do the stuff.
Mifrah Mahroof (03:34):
So you see two extremes of the spectrum.
Yes, all the time.
So that's interesting.
So which one do you find though,although you see the two
extremes, which one do you findthat is most ignored when it
comes to women getting intobusiness.
What is actually blocking womento start their business?
Because the influence in Google,ChatGPT.
Hafsa Taher (03:54):
I think the colonized mindset, and so we
need to go get education.
The colonized mindset is I needa degree.
They understand the concept ofgetting education.
And then what happens is whenit's about business, they think
I should just be able to figurethis out.
Why can't I figure this out?
What is wrong with me?
And then not to mention, thewomen are made to question
themselves.
and women are way more likely tohave imposter syndrome than men.
(04:17):
There's actually a book aboutit.
It's called Brave Not Perfect.
It's written by a person of, awoman of color.
She talks about, she used toteach kids coding in
kindergarten kids, like gradeone kids.
She would see the boys dosomething and run out there to
play.
The girls would be thereworking, working, working on the
thing.
And the teacher walks by with ablank screen.
The teacher like is control Zundo, control Z undo.
(04:40):
They see all this work that wasthere.
The girl is like, it wasn'tgood, it wasn't presentable.
So I just deleted it and I don'tthink it's good enough.
Whereas the boys did somethingand they were like, I'm done.
I'm going to go play.
So even at that age, I don'tknow what that is.
Nature, nurture.
I mean, that's a conversationfor another day, maybe.
But women question themselves alot more.
They have an imposter syndrome.
(05:01):
And they feel like sometimesasking for help or like
investing in themselves.
I shouldn't need to do that.
What's wrong with me?
Why can't I figure this out onmy own?
So it's like a really, there's alot of ways we are working on
ourselves.
We are trying to put ourselvesout there.
We're learning to invest when weneed to invest.
Like, the both of us know.
How important it is to takecourses, work with mentors, work
with coaches, you had guests whohave always also talked about
(05:24):
this as well.
Mifrah Mahroof (05:24):
Yeah 100%.
That's very interesting, how youmentioned about going back to
that sense of perfectionism andthen feeling like they can never
put things out there.
Hafsa Taher (05:33):
Yeah.
Mifrah Mahroof (05:34):
That's interesting.
So did you find though, whenthey were able to address those
inner blocks, they were able tomove forward and launch
Hafsa Taher (05:43):
It's an ongoing journey.
Every level has a new level,right?
Because what happens is, thefear of having more money, you
know, or I wanted to keep thebusiness small and then I
realized you know What like wehave companions who made a lot
of money, right?
They could realize that they'relike, okay, I can work through
that and then they get stuck.
They get to a different leveland they're like, you know what?
I think I can't go any furtherthan this I don't think I'm
capable.
(06:03):
I don't think women like me cando this, right?
So Every level comes up with anew challenge, I think.
So I think the journey neverends.
It's like an ongoing journey ofworking on yourself, like
learning the strategies outthere.
Like you said, AI is the newthing, right?
And so the technology ischanging, the outer work is
changing, the inner work ischanging as you're growing as
well.
Mifrah Mahroof (06:23):
So you mentioned something right there.
Fear of money.
What's that
Hafsa Taher (06:26):
So fear of money might not be the right way of
like how these people put it,but they might say things like,
Oh, I don't want to make a lotof money.
Like I actually had a time.
Who's like, Oh, I just want tomake enough money to pay for my
website.
She had a domain name and shehad hosting, right?
And it wasn't a whole lot.
It was worthless hosting, right?
It wasn't even make a monthlysubscription.
Right.
And she said, I just want enoughto make that.
(06:48):
And I was like, why are you justlike limiting it to that?
She's like, I just want this topay for itself.
That's it.
And she did some introspectionwork.
And she said, I think I used tothink if I made a lot of money,
there'd be a lot of problemsbecause this, she had this
experience with this.
There's someone close to afamily that became really
successful.
And some, one thing led to theother, one thing led to the
(07:09):
other and the concept and the,what ended up happening, that
situation, that the person wentthrough a divorce.
So in her mind, she made up thisstory.
If I make a lot of money, it'sgoing to impact my family,
negatively.
Mifrah Mahroof (07:20):
Hmm.
I
Hafsa Taher (07:20):
see.
So she had this blog aboutmoney.
She had this blog that if I madea lot of money, and then I had
another client who said, How canmaking money so easy for me when
it was not for my parents.
This whole idea of like ourparents was really hard.
I will sit here
Mifrah Mahroof (07:36):
Yeah.
and what was
Hafsa Taher (07:37):
right?
Yes, money, making money ishard, yes.
And now that making money seemseasy, oh, but I can't, I
shouldn't be making more than myparents.
Right?
These are all the things whenyou start digging deep on like,
okay, why do I feel that way?
Where does this thought comefrom?
Why do I feel like money shouldbe hard to make?
All these thoughts and yes, yougot to do the work.
(07:58):
And for some things, like whenyou're in the flow and you might
just be like, Oh, I do somethingI'm so good at and I get paid
for it.
And it might not seem like hardwork, but it just comes so
naturally to you for sometimes.
But for some people, they havethese stories that they can tell
themselves.
Money will make me a bad Muslim.
Money will make me a bad parent,a bad spouse, a bad family
member, right?
(08:19):
Money will make me cause moreproblems because I wouldn't know
what to do with it or I'm goingto be bad at managing it.
Mifrah Mahroof (08:26):
Hmm.
I see.
So what are your thoughts onmoney is going to make me a bad
Muslim?
Because that's an
Hafsa Taher (08:31):
is.
In my book club, I run a bookclub called Strong Believers,
and we're reading a book calledBillion Dollar Muslim.
So we're reading a book calledBillion Dollar Muslim.
It's written by someone in theU.
K.
called Malik.
And he talks about how havingmore money is just like having
more food at home.
You can't say, oh, the peopleout there that are hungry, so
I'm not going to have a lot offood at home.
(08:52):
We don't say stuff like that.
We just, okay, you know what, ifI get a lot of food, that's
perfect.
I can share it with otherpeople.
It's probably a very logicalthought.
But with money, it feels likeone, I think it's a very
Christian idea that money is theroot of all evil.
Right?
Oh, that money is actually takesyou to the hellfire.
Yes, it's a responsibility.
And yes, there are things you'vegot to be careful about, right?
(09:14):
Money, honor, prestige, or evenany responsibility, right?
money is just that.
Money was also a magnifier.
It magnifies what's inside you.
So if you have the money and itbrings out the good in you, it's
because you put what is alreadyinside.
So having money allows you to doso much good.
Is it a responsibility?
Does it mean that got to learnto make sure you pay zakat on
(09:34):
time, make sure you purify yourwealth?
Yes.
Just like anything out there,right?
When you have an additionalresponsibility and an additional
honor of privilege, you got tomake sure it's used properly
Mifrah Mahroof (09:46):
Hmm.
True.
I really like the analogy aboutmoney being like extra food at
home.
It sounds really funny when you
Hafsa Taher (09:52):
can compare it to like sandwiches.
He's like, no, I don't want asandwich because I'm going to be
a bad person if I have too manysandwiches.
Mifrah Mahroof (10:00):
Yeah.
True.
Right.
Because like if you have a lotof sandwiches, you can just give
it away.
But then, like you said, itdepends on who you are, because
if you're a natural hoarder, youmight be like, Oh, I want to
freeze those sandwiches.
Hafsa Taher (10:10):
right.
And that might not be a badidea, like you were like, you
know what?
Mifrah Mahroof (10:13):
Yeah, it might not be a bad idea, but maybe you
might have to buy anotherfreezer to accommodate all the
sandwiches.
Hafsa Taher (10:19):
right.
So maybe the intention is I'mgoing to freeze all these
sandwiches so I have more timeto work, to do more good things,
right?
Again, it goes back to theintention, right?
Mifrah Mahroof (10:27):
Yeah.
yeah.
True.
True.
There's so many ways you can goabout with it because money is
definitely the power of today'stime,
Hafsa Taher (10:34):
Yes.
And I think money has thisnegative connotation to it, like
in our heads, but that's why itdoesn't feel the same as
sandwiches.
Doesn't feel the same as food.
Like, we wouldn't say the stuffwe say about money, they would
the same things.
We wouldn't say the same thingabout sandwiches like that.
But when you replace the word,you're like, you don't have that
emotional attachment or theemotional, what's keeping you
away from it, right?
(10:54):
Like with money, we have thisthing about like, oh, I don't
want it, you know?
It's going to make me a badperson, it's going to make me a
bad Muslim, it's going to createmore problems for me, and our
minds are designed to keep ussafe, so we find ways to keep
ourselves safe in what fits ourstories, right?
Mifrah Mahroof (11:12):
Wow, that's amazing.
There's, like so much going onin our heads that's stopping us
from just like taking an action,because if you go Google it or
chatGPT in, you know, do ABCD.
And then it's like, why can't I
Hafsa Taher (11:23):
that's right, That's right, yes, 100%.
So I actually did a boot campcalled Bust Your BS Beliefs.
BS is an acronym for beliefsystems, from one of our
mentors, Sheikh Muhammad AlSharif Rahimullah, he would call
belief system BS because I mean,our belief system is BS
sometimes, right?
We have made up all thesestories, said, Oh, you know
what?
If I make more money, this isgoing to happen.
(11:45):
If I become successful, this isgoing to happen.
A lot of BS stories that we madeup, right?
So I once did a workshop calledBS Belief Buster, and we talked
about all the negative beliefsmost people have, how to be
like, okay, this is the negativebelief I have, once I have that,
I know this is the consequenceof it, but that's not the result
I want.
This is the new result I want,what belief do I need to have,
(12:06):
right?
And changing beliefs takes time,but at least you got to be open
to that belief.
Like, okay, I will be open tothis belief that money is not a
bad thing.
Mifrah Mahroof (12:15):
So would you say a new belief would sound
something like money's not a bad
Hafsa Taher (12:19):
thing.
Yeah.
And not the other extreme wouldbe, I love money, right?
I mean, you're so averse tomoney right now.
You can go to the extreme andyour mind's like, that's BS.
So I actually had a money blocktoo.
So Sheikh Muhammad Al SharifRahimullah in the Western mind,
what he did is that was reallysmart.
He started, he took my belief aslike a table.
He started pulling the legsunder the table.
(12:40):
He's like, okay, why do you havethat
Mifrah Mahroof (12:41):
believe
Hafsa Taher (12:42):
It was such a smart thing.
Alhamdulillah, I really thinkthat made a huge transformation
for me.
It was that
Mifrah Mahroof (12:49):
That's the power of good mentors, right?
Hafsa Taher (12:51):
right?
And like
Mifrah Mahroof (12:52):
Amazing.
They just call
Hafsa Taher (12:54):
This is like, over 4 years ago now, SubhanAllah,
like, made me a Sadaqah Jariyah,of all the good I do, made me a
Sadaqah Jariyah for him, right?
So he takes your belief, andhe'd be like, okay, why do you
think that's true?
And I'll be like, because this,this, this happened.
And what if that person wasn'teven talking to you?
What if that person was wrong?
What if that person was talkingabout somebody else, not to you,
(13:16):
right?
and then I was like, oh, butthen this is what happened to
the other person.
And he's like, are you surethat's the full story?
Did you go into their house andsee what they do?
Right?
So he started pulling the legsfrom under the belief, the old
belief.
So he's like, okay, now it's awobbly belief, right?
Now you need a new belief toreplace that.
You're like, okay, that doesn'tmake sense anymore.
Okay.
What do I want to believe then?
Money is not such a bad thing.
(13:37):
Money can make good thingshappen too, right?
It's not, oh, I love money.
It's not from one extreme to theother extreme.
It's kind of like in between thetwo.
Okay, money might not be such abad thing because you want to
give your brain like somethingthat's believable, not like
extremes.
Sometimes affirmations are likethat, like they're so extreme
that you can't even connect withthem.
So I feel like you've got to gofrom the old belief to something
(13:59):
like that, but a little bitneutral to the new belief.
Mifrah Mahroof (14:02):
So it's not like a drastic change.
100%
Hafsa Taher (14:04):
percent yeah, because your brain is like, what
the hell?
Yeah, Yeah,
Mifrah Mahroof (14:08):
I see.
So it's interesting.
You said that, we shouldn't jumpall the way to like the belief
of I love money, but then youcould say, I love sandwiches
Hafsa Taher (14:17):
yeah, you could.
But then can you feel that inyourself and say, I really
genuinely love money, right?
and you want to get to thatplace maybe where you're like,
okay, I love the good I can dowith money.
I wanna be able to give thismuch zakat.
I wanna be able to like, youknow I really interesting what
somebody in like which is thecause for duas, they took a
screenshot, they were on thiswebsite for fundraising website.
(14:38):
You know, like on some platformsyou can click on the top donors,
you can see how much like otherpeople gave.
So they clicked on the topdonors.
And the person on that websitehad given like$10,000 a top
donor.
So they took a screenshot ofthat and changed and put their
own name then they said, I wantto be this person who can give
$10,000.
Right?
I was like that.
(14:59):
right?
I was just like mind blown.
I'm like, you know what?
Like, you don't even think likethat.
Sometimes you like, imagine justlike sitting there, somebody
sends you a link saying, Oh, myfriend's fundraising for this
person, the storm, thehurricane, whatever the relief
workers.
Lebanon now, and you get thatlink and you're like, okay,
10,000 right there, it's okay.
Didn't even make a dentanywhere.
Right.
(15:19):
to be able to do that.
Mifrah Mahroof (15:20):
Yeah, yeah, true.
Because even for Allah SWT like$1 is like the same as$10,000.
We're the one, that's right,who's giving it significance.
Hafsa Taher (15:29):
And also Islamically, we are meant to
have money in our hands, not aheart.
Not to be so attached to it andto be like, Every up and down is
like taking a breath away.
It's like, Oh, the stock's beendown.
Oh no, my money, my money, mymoney.
Right.
Obviously you want to likebalance that with your risk
levels, but yeah.
Mifrah Mahroof (15:49):
Yeah.
True.
It's a very important point youmentioned because if we do have
money in our hearts, thensometimes like it's a blessing
that Allah SWT hasn't givenmoney to a certain person,
because maybe that could be asource of a lot of trial for
them.
that they can't handle and maybejust having a little bit of
money was sufficient for them.
But for someone who feels like,Hey, I can do a lot of good with
money.
(16:09):
I can manage it and give and doall these amazing things.
Then it's a different story, butI think like you were saying,
like we tend to have this moneyis an evil thing and let's not
go near money.
So then a lot of us are notsuccesfull when work.
Hafsa Taher (16:22):
That's right.
Yeah.
Mifrah Mahroof (16:23):
getting out and doing a business, right?
Hafsa Taher (16:25):
Yes.
So it's so important to work tothat inner dialogue, inner talk,
inner belief system, the BS, tobe like, what's my thought,
what's my belief about this?
Which they thought that'scausing me to feel this way,
right?
So when you're able to do theinner work, like for me, it was
like writing it down to be like,actually see it in writing.
And I'm like, what the heck?
Like, I believe that.
And when you take that beliefout, it's kind of like one of
(16:48):
those playing card houses, youpull one card out, the whole
thing coming down, right?
Because you built the entirestructure of that one B is
belief, right?
So when you pull the falsebelief out, you're like, Oh,
wait, that thought doesn't existanymore.
Okay, bye.
Okay.
Nevermind, nevermind.
Mifrah Mahroof (17:04):
What other challenges did you have when you
were getting into this businessspace?
the first one I'm hearing is themoney beliefs, what else was
coming up?
Hafsa Taher (17:14):
Okay, the other part of it is use measuring your
worthiness with the income youmake, right?
So, it's kind of like withbusiness, I mean, there are all
these entrepreneurs and businessowners talking about, Okay, I
had a 10k month, I had a 10kweek, I had a 5k day, right?
There are all these numbersbeing thrown around and you here
are like, okay, I made a hundreddollars yesterday and I haven't
(17:36):
made anything else the entiremonth, right?
And number one, it's such aobvious thing to be like, okay,
who are you comparing yourselfto?
What's other in chapter 25 andnew chapter two, right?
But we forget about that.
We forget that there's more towhat we see.
More to what we don't see,right?
We like, okay, we assume like,okay.
They are making 100k a month.
(17:58):
I should have been there too.
Do they have a team that theyare, like, spending the entire
thing over?
Are they in the negatives?
Who cares?
They are making that much.
I should be making
Mifrah Mahroof (18:07):
True.
That might not even be theirtake home, right?
Hafsa Taher (18:09):
I should be making that much too, right?
So it's kind of that comparisongame to be like, okay, I should
be doing that much too.
And ultimately, I think there'slike a little bit of
entitlement, like, I have beenworking so hard, I have been
promoting this, nobody isbuying.
Well, nobody owes us anything,right?
Is there like work I need to doon my marketing?
Do I need to understand?
Like, do I need to get moreclear about what I'm offering,
(18:31):
right?
There needs to be someintrospection too.
But like this whole idea oflike, I'm as worthy as the
amount of money I make.
We live in a very capitalisticsociety.
That's trained us to think aboutproductivity as money making
activities, you know, or like ajob, a business, right?
Like a woman who stays at homemight feel like, Oh, I've not
(18:51):
been productive.
What?
Like I don't do anything in anyways, right?
Like I don't do anything, right?
So we live in a verycapitalistic society that is
really focused on money.
So what ends up happening is,because we live and breathe in
that model, we measure our ownworthiness with money, right?
It's like, oh, I'm only worthywhen I'm making money.
Okay, business struggling when2020 COVID happened, a lot of my
(19:15):
clients cancelled, and thatwould have been time if I hadn't
done the inner work, I wouldhave been like, I suck, nobody
wants to work with me anymore,right?
Versus being like, okay, what'sthe situation in the world right
now?
What's happening?
But there was a time when Iwould be like, okay, if I'm not
making money, who am I anyways,right?
I just, I'm supposed to bemaking money.
I'm supposed to be doing betterthan this.
(19:35):
So this whole idea of worthinessthat comes from how much you
make.
Mifrah Mahroof (19:40):
Yeah.
Yeah.
That whole part about thatcapitalist mentality that seeps
into these areas of our life andabout how women who, you know,
like they're measured both bymoney and it's sad because it's
not like that.
Hafsa Taher (19:54):
No, no, a hundred percent.
And then even the ones that aremaking money, say like have job.
And then they go through somekind of life change, a new
season of life, whether they getmove away, they have to take
time off from their work.
They have taken the only metricthat was measuring their
worthiness, it's been taken, itdoesn't exist anymore.
The amount of money they've got,right?
Now they're like, Oh, who am Inow?
(20:16):
Like that was the only metricthey had.
They were holding onto them.
Now they're like, okay, I'm notmaking the money.
What am I doing with my life?
Who am I anymore?
Because that was the only valuethat went on value of the
measure of worthiness they had.
Mifrah Mahroof (20:30):
So how do you look at value?
Hafsa Taher (20:32):
I think we are inherently valuable.
So there isn't anything externalthat actually makes us valuable,
right?
As a creation of Allah, ourworthiness is there, isn't it a
hadith that says, like, a humanbeing is more sacred than the
Kaaba.
There's things we wouldn't harmthe Kaaba, but we don't think
(20:52):
twice before hurting anotherhuman being, another brother or
sister in Islam, right?
But treat ourselves as unworthy.
And I think, again, Catholicistsociety, and again, how people
see us, how we see ourselves.
When you study the names ofAllah SWT, you're able to
understand who He is, and seewho you are, as well.
(21:13):
I think understanding the namesof Allah SWT, how merciful He
is, how just He is, how wise Heis, how much He appreciates.
I think that was one name ofAllah SWT that really, really
changed the way I look at, like,the outcome, appreciates.
That means, even me trying, evenif I'm not making that 100k a
(21:34):
month, I tried and heappreciates that.
He rewards me for that, right?
And, right, and then methinking, okay, I didn't make
the money, but Allah doesn't seethat.
Allah looks at my heart.
What did I do?
Did I try?
Did I do my best, right?
So it adds, it's 100%, like,takes the only measure of
success I had the money andreplaces it with, who is judging
(21:55):
me?
who is the one who is actuallyrewarding me, who is the one who
is actually looking at my workand thinking, am I doing a good
job or not, right?
Now you're like, okay, as longas I'm trying, as long as I'm
doing my best, I'm worthy, andas long as I'm doing my best,
Allah is rewarding me.
Mifrah Mahroof (22:14):
Yeah.
Yeah.
True.
And I wonder if that thoughtprocess would happen if you got
into business for the rightreasons and not just to get in
because everyone says, Oh, thisis the place to make
Hafsa Taher (22:27):
money.
That's right.
Mifrah Mahroof (22:28):
get 10K,
Hafsa Taher (22:29):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's really interestingbecause I was at a speed
networking event, speednetworking.
So it was like a speed dating,but for networking.
And one woman was like, okay, Iwant to start an export
business.
Where's the most money?
And I'm like, I think you shouldbe asking yourself, what do you
like?
What are you passionate about?
Because this combination of, Ilove this.
(22:52):
I'm good at this.
This is what my experience is.
This is what I can talk about.
This is what I appreciate.
And this is what the marketneeds.
Like that combination, the onediagram, right?
The three circles, where do theymerge.
Because what do people need iswhere the money is too, right?
So, because you can do somethingfor the money, but how much
heart is in there?
How much passion is in there?
How much interest is in there,right?
(23:13):
when I was in school, I finishedcollege.
My friend would send me lists oflike Google articles like, oh,
here's a list of 15 businesseswe can start.
And I'm like, I don't care aboutany of these.
Mifrah Mahroof (23:25):
Yeah.
Hafsa Taher (23:26):
So I definitely think there has to be like an
interest in there for you to belike, okay, why am I doing this?
Yes.
The bigger why, but also do Ieven care about this?
Mifrah Mahroof (23:37):
I feel like this is not like said enough because
online, when you go to business,you'd be like, Oh, the top 10
business ideas and look how muchI'm making.
And it's like, that is theconversation in the business
space.
It's like the capitalistmentality, right?
It's All about the money.
Like the thing you wereworshipping is the money.
Hafsa Taher (23:54):
That's right.
It starts then and ends there.
Yes.
Mifrah Mahroof (23:57):
So it's really aligning your intention back to
Allah and
Hafsa Taher (24:01):
think about it
Mifrah Mahroof (24:02):
knowing that he's the one who's giving you
Hafsa Taher (24:03):
the money.
Yeah.
Think about it this way, twothings that come to me, we want
at the end of the day and on theday of judgment, we want all of
the things we did to show up onthe right scape, like on the
right hand side.
And if we make the intention ofpraising Allah, like one of my
mentors said, like justrecently.
A couple of months ago, shesaid, every morning make the
intention, Oh Allah, everythingI do today, I do it for your
(24:24):
sake.
And I'm going to forget thissometimes, remind me and accept
it for your sake.
Accept it for your sake, andintentions change all the time,
and one of the teachers said,intentions are like a toddler,
they keep running away.
So, you got to keep bringingthem back and be like, okay,
reminding yourself why you'redoing that, you'll get that.
So it's really important to keepin mind, like.
Yes, I have to keep purifying myintention because I want this to
(24:46):
count on the day of judgment.
Actions are by intention, right?
So actions are judged by theirintention.
So every action I do, I want tomake sure I'm getting rewarded
for it.
Because what if we work so hardhere and then on the Day of
Judgment, there's nothing for usto show for.
So we want to make sureeverything we do is done with
the right intention, even ifit's like, I don't work with
(25:06):
Muslim women, say for example,like I don't teach Islam, I
don't teach people to pray, I'mnot doing all those work, but my
intentions are to learn andhalal living, right?
That's good I don't have to bein a Muslim business.
Earning a halal living.
So, making sure that you aremaking that intention in the
morning or when you start doingsomething or whatever you
remember and being mindful ofthat.
(25:28):
And the other thing is I read aChristian book once that talked
about how God is your migratingmanager.
God is the one who is actuallybringing you the clients.
I was reading this book whenCOVID happened, that's why it
stuck with me.
So, you know, how we look at ourwebsite and like, Oh, I'm not
getting the sales.
I'm not getting the sales.
Okay.
How many people clicked on mything today?
Oh, nobody clicked.
(25:49):
How many people opened my email?
Nobody signed up, right?
But Allah SWT is providing ussustenance in so many other
ways, but I'm like focused onthis one thing.
And put my head down and I'mlike, I want to see it here and
there's like stuff all aroundme, so sometimes we think that
the risk, the sustenance is notcoming, but sometimes the
channel is blocked.
(26:10):
But the other channels, theother channels, the other like
pipelines, because the source isstill Allah.
it's like saying, okay, you'reopening the faucet in your kit,
in your washroom.
And they're like, there's nowater anywhere.
And then somebody else would belike, listen, there's just no
water here.
It's okay.
There's water in the entirehouse, you know?
All the other taps are fine.
All the other faucets are fine.
Right?
But you are standing at thatlong faucet and being like,
(26:31):
there is no money here.
Why?
How come I'm not making themoney?
But you are being blessed in somany different ways, right?
And sometimes there's differenttypes of risks.
Sometimes you're getting a freeprogram, a free course.
Sometimes you're getting, amembership to something you
didn't pay for.
Sometimes you're getting anopportunity, a free webinar, a
free download that you got thatgives you this insight that you
never thought was possible,right?
(26:52):
That you couldn't even lookingfor, right?
So Allah can be opening doorsfor you of like risk and
sustenance in so many ways.
But we stay focused on thinkingit has to come from this place
only.
Yeah, it
Mifrah Mahroof (27:04):
sounds like there is again, that attachment
to money.
It's like money is the only formof risk, whereas risk can be a
good word, people, ideas, oreven things making sense to you.
Like how many times have we bothconsumed something and it didn't
click until later, that click.
It's from Allah, right?
Hafsa Taher (27:23):
My friend, she has a dua, she made a post a long
time ago.
She said, one of my studentsmade this dua, Oh Allah, Yaa
Fattah, the opener.
Ya Fattah open doors for me thatI didn't even know were closed.
I love that so much.
Because you don't even know.
Mifrah Mahroof (27:38):
That's
Hafsa Taher (27:39):
beautiful.
Yeah, you don't even know whatexactly that's gonna look like.
Ya Fattah, opened doors for methat I didn't even know were
closed.
Mifrah Mahroof (27:45):
Yeah, I think it's really coming back to that
decolonizing our mindsets andseeing that it's not just about
the
Hafsa Taher (27:53):
Mm-Hmm.
Mifrah Mahroof (27:53):
Which by the way, paper money, obviously it's
not real.
It's important to have theseconversations and for us to
really challenge what webelieve, because these could be
the very blockers that'sstopping us from achieving What
we want in our lives.
And if it's business, which isour goal.
And I've seen many streetsisters and I'm sure that you've
seen it more.
They've been saying they want tohave a business and then many
years go by and they're still
Hafsa Taher (28:14):
in the same place.
Mifrah Mahroof (28:15):
business.
Hafsa Taher (28:16):
Yes.
Yes, yes.
Mifrah Mahroof (28:18):
Yeah.
Hafsa Taher (28:19):
Yeah.
I get that.
Mifrah Mahroof (28:20):
Actually, what do you say to that?
If they're in the same placelike three years later, they're
still in the same place.
What would you tell them to do?
Hafsa Taher (28:26):
What would I tell them to do the same place for
three years?
I'm like, you just don't want,just accept it.
Oh, it's nice to have fancyvanity kind of du'as, or you're
almost like, I need to loseweight.
I need to drink more water.
Right.
Do I care about that?
No, I don't.
I need to have a business.
It's kind of like, Oh, it'll becool.
I don't care about it.
Obviously, if you've not doneanything with me, you don't
care.
Because if you cared enoughabout it, if you really wanted
(28:48):
it, you'd have at least startedsomething.
You would have figured somethingout on your own.
Yeah.
I mean, you know what?
Like, either we can spend timeon something or we can spend
money.
And some people have money andsome people have time.
When you have this you have thetime you're like, okay, I will
Mifrah Mahroof (29:02):
and the better type of risk,
Hafsa Taher (29:03):
yes exactly.
Yes.
So to be able to be like, okayYou know what?
I have extra time.
I'm gonna watch some YouTubevideos I'm gonna listen to the
podcast and get inspired rightread some books and get inspired
and if you have the money, workwith the coach and be like,
okay, I really want to do this,but I have no idea how to get
started I even tried askingChatGPT and I'm still stuck.
(29:24):
And then you're able to workwith the coach and be like,
okay, this is my goal.
This is where I want to get to.
What are the baby steps I needto take?
Because you can only start, youcan only eat an elephant one
bite at a time.
Don't imagine it.
Don't picture it.
Mifrah Mahroof (29:37):
At the end of the day, I'm just thinking about
the elephants because I waslooking up a lot of elephant
parks in Sri Lanka and I waslike, oh, look, all these
elephants.
Hafsa Taher (29:44):
That's right.
You can only eat an elephant onebite at a time.
Mifrah Mahroof (29:47):
They're massive animals, I don't know if
talalteed animal, I meanelephant, FYI, if anyone
listening, we're talking abouteating elephants.
Hafsa Taher (29:55):
Yes, please do let us know.
I'm going to change that analogyto something else then.
Mifrah Mahroof (30:00):
Alhamdulillah.
All right.
Well, we're actually close toending up interview.
There's so many things we cantouch upon and, MashaAllah,
there's a lot I can learn fromyou, but time is time.
So we'll just go straight to ourquestions that we have here.
What is one life hack that youfound improved your life?
Hafsa Taher (30:16):
I think it was self development.
I think we started to read a lotof books, listen to podcasts and
then working with the therapistbecause again, like seeing those
blogs, sometimes a coach can dothat for you.
Sometimes you need a therapistto be able to be like, where's
that story coming from.
To be able to like really undoit, especially if it's deeper,
like childhood phase, sometimesyou need a therapist for that,
(30:37):
right?
And it's not like a lifelongthing that you need.
The therapist will teach youstrategies to be like, okay,
when you have thoughts likethese, this is the kind of thing
you apply to it.
This is the kind of tools, theyempower you with the tools and
they like last you for yourentire life.
And here's the thing I alwayssay, Your ceiling will become
the floor to your children.
So, do the best you can.
Improve yourself.
(30:58):
Work on yourself.
It is so powerful, right?
Your ceiling is going to becomethe floor to them.
So do it for their sake.
Give them a higher floor thanyou had.
Mifrah Mahroof (31:07):
All right, let's, yeah, I'm just like
processing.
I was like, oh my gosh.
Hafsa Taher (31:10):
That's right.
Your ceiling is the floor toyour kids.
Mifrah Mahroof (31:12):
Yeah, like I've always thought about this,
especially with my daughter, butthe way you're wording it is
like, okay.
Hafsa Taher (31:18):
I heard it from someone else.
Yes.
Mifrah Mahroof (31:20):
Yeah.
All right.
But I'm actually curious thatyou mentioned that part about
therapists.
How would you go about finding agood therapist can work for you?
Because a lot of people will sayexperiences like, Oh, I went to
a
Hafsa Taher (31:31):
therapist, it didn't work.
Yeah.
There's a lot of different typesof therapists.
Modalities.
Yes.
Something like that.
Yes.
Modalities.
Yes.
There's a lot of differentcoaches have different
modalities.
Some are talk therapy, some aremore somatic therapy, like where
do you feel that in your bodykind of thing, right?
Yeah.
Some are more like movementkind.
Some are more like, okay, let'stake that thought you have and
let's come up with a moreneutral thought.
(31:52):
Like, let's see where thatthought came from.
Everybody's different, right?
So I have had a therapist thatwas CBT trained, Cognitive
Behavior Therapy.
I think that is really good insome things, but I've also
worked with an EMDR specialist,which is like eye movement.
They basically change yourbeliefs to eye movement, right?
So thinking, like really gettinga feel for what the different
(32:13):
therapists are there and bookingone session with them.
And you can't like decide if thetherapist is right for you after
one session, you have to stickwith them for like at least
three, four sessions, becausethe first one could just be
information intake, right?
We're just asking you questionsto figure out like, what are you
dealing with?
What do you need help with?
So don't jump the gun on thefirst session.
I almost did that.
(32:33):
I'm like, no, this isn't theright thing for me.
And I still go back to mytherapist when I need it, right?
So I would say, it definitelytakes time.
Be patient, try differentmodalities.
Whether it's somatic therapy,there's good in everyone.
It's like, what do I need?
Where are you seeing the mostresults?
Where, what do you need at whattime?
So it takes time.
(32:53):
And then still there's specificthings I'm like, you know what,
when I get stuck in my head, Igo to my blood therapist, right?
But if something else comes upthat I need to really process it
in my body, like I know I'llhave a lot of back pain, a lot
of shoulder pain, or I know likethere's something really from my
childhood that's, that I need toprocess, Somatic therapy, but
there's so many more, right?
So there are a lot more therapy,now that'll be immuno therapist,
(33:16):
therapists that are Muslim now,they have the Islamic awareness
to it, Islamic side added to it,right?
Like they hold the connectionbetween the ruh and the
qobiliyati al-aql right.
So that I able to look at itfrom an Islamic perspective too.
So that's lot of options outthere.
So yeah, give it a shot and saybismillah and look for
testimonials again, like Arfawas saying.
Talk to people, look fortestimonials, but you won't know
(33:38):
until you actually give it a trysometimes.
Mifrah Mahroof (33:40):
True.
Alhamdulillah.
Okay.
And, what would you say is abook or books that's helped you
level up in your life?
Cause I know you spoke
Hafsa Taher (33:48):
Yes, yes, yes, There are a lot actually.
I think books, I probably readlike 50 books in one year, like
one at one point.
Mifrah Mahroof (33:57):
That's amazing.
Hafsa Taher (33:58):
I know I was just on this knowledge binge, but
then again, that was a lot ofinner work.
I had to go back into the outerwork, right?
So, bringing it full circle backto the beginning again.
So a lot of inner workbooks, Ithink this is a good
combination.
You know, Self Compassion,Kristen Neff is a really good
one because we're so hard onourselves.
Oh, this should be easy for us.
(34:18):
Why do I have to ask for help?
I suck if I have to ask forhelp, right?
A lot of these self compassionconversations.
Self Compassion is a good one.
How to be single and happy.
Even if you're not single, Ithink you will learn to see life
differently.
How to be single and happy.
If you are single, definitelytake a look at that book, and I
know sometimes you feel like ifI get to this goal, my life, all
(34:40):
my problems will be solved,right?
It's so funny when I talk abouthow to be single and happy
because we saw it, we met whenwe were both single.
Mifrah Mahroof (34:47):
Yeah, yeah.
True.
right?
Yeah.
We go
Hafsa Taher (34:49):
That's right.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes, Alhamdulillah.
Maybe you just got it when wemet.
I know, but yeah, how to besingle and happy and then
Playing Big by Tara Mohr, M O HR, is the last thing.
Playing big is really goodbecause all the things about the
things that we are trained inthe society to be quiet, play it
small, not make too much noise,right?
(35:10):
As women, we are taught to bealmost invisible, like really
shrink down to fit other people,play it small, but playing big
is really good.
So tell them all playing big,how to be single and happy.
I forgot to write the name ofthe author, but I'm sure this is
the only book with that title.
How to be single and happy, SelfCompassion.
Brave Not Perfect was the otherone that we started off with,
(35:31):
but yeah, there's a lot of booksthat you can come back to me
for.
Mifrah Mahroof (35:35):
put them into the show notes, so that nobody
needs to take any notes
Hafsa Taher (35:39):
That's great.
Mifrah Mahroof (35:39):
find it in the show notes.
So awesome.
Okay.
And Hafsa, where can ourlisteners find
Hafsa Taher (35:44):
you?
Awesome.
I think Instagram is probablythe best place.
Hafsataher.com,hafsataher.coaching is the
Instagram handy.
Please send me a DM and tell meyou listen to the podcast.
I'd love to connect and see whatresonated with your biggest
takeaway.
InshaAllah.
Mifrah Mahroof (35:59):
Oh, wonderful.
Well, thank you so much forcoming on.
Hafsa Taher (36:01):
Thank you for having me.
Mifrah Mahroof (36:03):
Hey everyone.
That wraps up another episodefrom the Muslim Life Hackers
podcast.
I really hope you enjoyed ourchat today.
I've got some great takeaways.
if you like what you heard anddon't want to miss out on our
next conversations, hit thatsubscribe button on YouTube,
Apple Podcasts, Spotify, orwherever you're listening to
this from.
It means a lot to us, and ithelps us reach more people who
can benefit from this show.
(36:23):
Thank you again for tuning in.
Until next time, keep strivingand getting better every day.
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