Hello my dears,
Do you find relationships to be easy and peaceful experiences? Do you often end up resentful that your love was not reciprocated? or is your frustration more that people want more of you than you feel comfortable offering them?
It turns out most of our impulses, needs and expectations are ingrained in our attachment system that we gained in our early life experiences. That is what attachment theory is all about and is often not understood in all its nuance.
It was formulated by psychologists John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth in the 1960s and has gained a lot of popularity and research interest till the present day.
Remember, attachment style is an adaptive response and not a flaw.
It is hard work to change your subconscious view of the world but possible and it's key to having healthier loving relationships.
If you would like to do that work, the best way is probably to look for attachment informed therapists but I know that is not always accessible to everyone. And that's no problem because there are some great resources online. None of this is an AD by the way, it's just what I found most helpful for me.
1. Personal Development School by Thais Gibson
2. Podcast: Therapists Uncensored Podcast
3. Book - Attached: The new science of adult attachment
4. Heidi Priebe YT Channel: Heidi Priebe
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