June 19, 2024 • 40 mins
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Season 6: Episode 0.
Benji and Brad are back with a brand new season of My Big Gay Podcast! Join the boys in their new studio where they reveal what they’ve been up to so far this year.
Benji and Brad share the highs and lows of adulting in the bustling city of London. From the glitter-filled fun of London Pride and Mighty Hoopla (the largest queer festival in the UK) to the daunting task of buying property. Expect candid confessions about managing finances, dealing with mortgages, and of course still finding time to have a party.
To top it all off, (cheeky…), Benji and Brad dive into experiences had by the queer community including hooking up at festivals and figuring out the dating apps.
Buckle up for a season opener teeming with laughter, genuine reflections, and a whole lot of fabulousness!
Get to know us more personally!
Instagram
www.instagram.com/biggaypodcast
Email
hello@mybiggaypodcast.com
Website
www.MyBigGayPodcast.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Gosh, I feel a bit nervous.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Oh, my goodness, it's been a little while, hasn't it?
But I'm so excited, me too.
Right you ready?
Yeah, yeah, I'm ready.
I've got my tinny, and have yougot your phone switched off?
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Oh no, let me just check.
Turn the grind notificationsoff.
Oh, for fuck's sake, I alsocan't read the notes.
But you don, all right, youready I'm ready.
You said there was somedetermination.
I'm ready.
Oh, I'm gonna say press, play,hello and welcome to my big gay
(00:46):
Podcast with me.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Benji and me, Brad, giving you the life, the loves
and lols of living in London.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Two gays one city.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
What could possibly?
Speaker 1 (00:58):
go wrong.
We're back.
Oh my goodness, I know crazy.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
We are back Back, back back Time, six Time, six
Season, six Season six here wego, we're back, oh my goodness,
I know crazy.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
We are back, back, back, back time, six time, six
season, six season six.
Here we go, no, not the musicaltheatre references already and
here we are, and I think now's agood time to mention that we
are in a brand new recordingstudio.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
I heard that they made this studio just for my big
gay podcast you heard wrong.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
they did not make this just for us.
However, what is really lovelyis it's this beautiful green
which is very on brand for usGreen, green, green.
It's giving Wicked the movie.
It's giving like a froggy furbycabbage this baby is
unnaturally green.
I mean the notes are somewherearound there.
Who's this an impression ofYou're green?
I mean the notes are somewherearound there.
(01:46):
Who's this an impression ofYou're green?
No, if you're going to do that,you have to get the right
intonation.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
She goes you're green , that is so good.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Yeah, how many times have you watched that bloody
advert Too many times?
Those of you that don't knowwhat we're talking about, you
shouldn't be listening to thisbook.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
We're talking about the Wicked trailer, the Wicked
movie which comes out later thisyear with Ariana Grande and,
yeah, she's playing Glinda loveit and Cynthia Erivo, which is
very, very exciting.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
But it's just part one.
Did you know it's in two parts?
Speaker 2 (02:14):
I knew it was in two parts.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Well, we know, because, well, we're stagey one
more than the other, but I don'tthink a lot of people know that
because they're not.
I feel like people are going togo to the cinema to watch it
and it's going to stop at thepinnacle moment we don't know
what moment that is, we're notgoing to spoil it for you and
then there could be like parttwo in six years time yeah, and
I'm like great I've got to goand sit for another like two and
a half hours of this.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Yeah, I mean.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
I'm okay.
Are the rumours?
Yeah, I feel like I might.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
I feel like you're the sort of person that would do
that.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
I feel like you invited me to do that with you,
so I don't know why you'resaying that to me.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
Trying to throw you under the bus.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
You've led me down this yellow brick road of a trap
.
Yeah, yes, we're going, we'regoing.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
Am I going to be painted green?
Okay, wearing green, wearinggreen.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
You are wearing green .
I am, yeah, and whose greenoutfit is that?
Speaker 2 (03:02):
These are your dungarees.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
thank you so much, yeah, and you've ruined them
with whatever you've washed themwith, so I don't want them back
.
Have you taken your shoes off?
Speaker 2 (03:09):
I thought I'd get comfy in the podcast.
It's like we're at homechit-chatting Bloody, this is a
lot cleaner than your home.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
No my home is very clean.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Shall we talk about the stains on your sofa.
Okay, okay, on with the podcast.
What have we got to say?
Speaker 1 (03:23):
No, before we start, come on, let's get our tinny.
Oh my goodness, I don'tactually know if we're allowed
to drink in here, but oh well,enjoy.
Here we go For those of youthat enjoy ASMR.
You are welcome, Right?
Cheers, mate.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
Cheers.
Here we go, season six.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
Well, season six Now.
We have been away for a while.
Now's a good time to mentionthat we I don't think we
actually have had an episode outsince Christmas.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Yeah, we did the Christmas special and then we
started planning season six atthe start of the year.
We did, we had your birthday,didn't we?
We celebrated hard in Januaryand then like, right, season six
, let's get planning.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
Six months later, I'm still hungover.
Did you survive?
That day I did survive, justabout yeah, I actually don't
even remember what happened, butyeah, it was.
It was a good one, it was a madone messy, yeah, messy, but um,
yeah, then life just sort oftook a different turn, didn't I?
Speaker 2 (04:14):
let you sort of talk about that yeah, I mean, I don't
know if anyone else can relateto this, but you know, sometimes
things just like get thrown inyour face, yeah, sort of life
things, and then you, everythingchanges right sometimes I love
it when things I was thinkingwhen I said that I was like why
am I, why am I going dirtyalready?
Speaker 1 (04:31):
throw it on my face, sit on my face slap my face with
it.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
I don't mind all the things um, so yeah, you may may
not have seen online, but um,unfortunately my nan was really
ill at the start of the year anduh, ends up going to hospital
and unfortunately she didn'tmake it and she did pass.
So that sort of dominated wedominated where um yeah, that
(04:56):
kind of like took over my life alittle bit, because I was back
home quite a lot seeing thefamily.
I then was involved withplanning the funeral.
I read a eulogy at my nan'sfuneral as well, so that sort of
took me out of life for a fewmonths, whilst I was doing that,
yeah, so eulogy for those thatmight not know what that is what
exactly is it?
uh, it's like a little speechwhere you talk about that person
(05:16):
and all the wonderful thingsthey have done and all the
lovely things they have left asa lasting impression I see.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
So not that I'm planning'm planning to.
But if I wasn't here and youwere, I don't know why my family
would ask you to read one.
But if you were to read aeulogy, what would you say about
me?
Speaker 2 (05:31):
A eulogy at your funeral.
Absolutely Well, it dependswho's at the funeral.
Assuming all your family right?
Speaker 1 (05:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
So I'd have to have like a family-friendly eulogy.
Oh my goodness.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
I'd have to have like two funerals.
Hello, how do you know, Benji,you are a twink.
Take the door to the left,please.
And are you related?
You are related.
Door to the right, please.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
Yeah, two separate funerals.
I'll do the nice PC,family-friendly one and then hop
next door and do the real one.
Wow yeah, hi, everyone, welcome.
I've got some lines that Iwanted to share with you all but
(06:12):
unfortunately Benji did themall before he passed.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
Oh my gosh, imagine if you read that the wrong way
and my mum like what's a line?
She doesn't speak like that,she's actually very well
educated, but she would not knowwhat that meant.
It would go right over her headactually.
Bless her heart, her heart.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
Yeah, she wouldn't understand that joke.
No, I'd be like.
One of my favorite memories ofbenji was at a house party once
and he had passed out andsomeone got a plate and made
lines of cocaine on this plateand did them off your teeth.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Okay, first of all, passed out, I went for a nap
because I was tired.
B that someone was you.
And C yes, I woke up, starredout on your bed with everyone
doing lines off my chest.
Yeah, to be fair, when I tellthat story, people are like oh,
that sounds quite sexy.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
Actually, I'm like if you, if you were only there it
was not sexy and I remember Iwoke up.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
I was like what's happening?
And then you just like pattedmy head, you're like it's all
fine, okay, I was like yeah Ifeel safe and I went back to bed
oh, good times, good memory.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
So yeah, that would make the uh unity as well.
That memory wow, people aregonna have such a lovely lasting
memory of me.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
But um no, I'm really sorry that you went through
that.
I know obviously we have keptin touch this whole time and it
was very difficult, difficulttime.
So I'm very sorry, but I'mpleased that you've sort of
feeling better about it all now.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Thank you, yeah, yeah .
And also you know, when I thenwas back to London and we
started to plan season six againand then you had to be taken
off because you've been busy athome, you had to be taken off.
Sounds like I was arrested forsomething.
You've been in and out of court, you know I mean wouldn't be
(07:47):
surprised.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Oh my goodness, no, we're not going down the lawsuit
, but um, yeah, I do.
You know what, though?
To change the subject, I can'tbelieve that it was almost a
year ago that we marched inlondon pride.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Because it is june, we are back in pride month we
are happy, pride to everyone,listening you fabulous people,
you, yeah and um, yeah, it was ayear ago.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
And it keeps popping up like, oh, a year ago you were
doing this.
And it's like pictures of uslike getting our t-shirts ready,
getting the speaker ready,catching the music, getting the
dancers like to choreograph.
Because those of you thathaven't seen the video on our
instagram or didn't see us atlondon pride, we put on a show
we did.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
I said to you when we got offered london pride last
year, I was like benji, am Idoing it?
If we can put on a big show,yeah, I'm not just walking down
like I want confetti, I wantglitter, I want dancers, I want
music, I want the whole shebangright and I said I want a
different podcast host no, butwas I right to push you in that
direction?
Speaker 1 (08:39):
you were, I had to keep those purse strings tight.
Mama, you know how much I likethings tight.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
Because you are spenny, spenny, spenny.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
But no, actually the end effect was amazing.
It was a really good day, Ithink one of the best things
actually I've ever done.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
I loved it.
I loved it and it was just sonice to be involved with all the
other groups as well in theparade, and everyone was just
there for a great time and tospread the love and just be loud
and proud.
Right, it was, oh god, what atime to be alive.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
I know it was mad, and we kind of had a
conversation, didn't we?
And we said look, we're eithergoing to have to try and do
London Pride again and push backreleasing episodes or let's
just focus back on the episodes.
And we decided, well as you cantell, to come back and do the
episodes, so we hope that's theright choice.
We're very sorry for anyone atLondon Pride this year.
We won't be there, but we willbe celebrating in our own very
gay, frivolous way.
(09:29):
Always Do I mean frivolous?
What does that mean?
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Frivolous?
Does that mean like carefree?
Speaker 1 (09:34):
I think it does.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Yeah, let's go with that.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Let's go with that.
That is what.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Before we carry on chatting all things big and gay
and podcast, let's take a littlebreak.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
Podcast is in the break.
I did actually ask Brad to puthis shoes back on, because he
has the smelliest feet you haveever had to stand.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
I'm looking at you and I'm staring at you because
that conversation didn't happen.
You're a liar.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
Oh my gosh, I've never had someone look at me so
hard and hope that I just stopbreathing.
That was hilarious, no ofcourse I'm only joking.
They don't really smell.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
Thank you.
These are brand new shoes aswell.
They look brand new.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
You were that kid at school, weren't you, that turned
up after a break and you hadbrands spanking you and
everything.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
New haircut, new trainers?
Yeah, I mean, we can talk aboutyour hair if you want to.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
I don't know if you're ready for that today,
Mama.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Anyway, going back to talking about all things tight,
yes, you have my attention.
So you have also been keepingthe purse strings a bit tight
recently as well.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
Yes, that is true.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
Yeah, because you, as I said, I came back to London
and then you were then out ofLondon because you've been
buying a bloody house.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
This is true.
It's such a crazy thing.
I thought I was quite.
I like to think that I've got agood idea about, like business
and you know, saving money etc.
Purchasing whatever.
Buying a house is a completelydifferent kettle of fish,
different ballgame, andeverybody wants your money.
Everybody will charge you tobuy a property.
(11:17):
So to give you a breakdown,obviously, as we've discussed
briefly before, I have abusiness in the Channel Islands
and this new property that I'mbuying is on the ground floor is
a second shop and then above itis a really lovely flat and the
sale hasn't gone through yet,but the process of it is
mind-blowing.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
When you told me you're buying a house, my mind
was like that is very adult.
I can't.
My mind's not even there yet.
Okay, I just have something totell you.
Go on, we are adults, I know,but sometimes I don't like to
think of that.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
I just like to.
Is that why you're sat there,no shoes on, in a pair of
dungarees, correct?
Speaker 2 (11:49):
sucking your thumb, this one, she's always sucking
something um no, just thethought of buying property
really scares me.
I'll be honest with you becauseI don't know.
You don't get taught that atschool, do you?
You only find out from doing.
Yeah, and it is a lot of moneyand obviously the way the market
is at the moment is also veryscary.
(12:10):
Yeah, um.
So there's just so many factors.
I'm like do you know what?
I don't want the hat or theheadache, but you have gone
ahead and pursued this, which isamazing.
So you can be like my guineapig, okay, and then when I'm
ready to buy somewhere, you cantalk me through it all because
you've done it.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
Yeah, and that'd be like 50 years down the line.
Do you know what?
It is crazy?
And you're not taught thesethings at school.
And I think now this might be aslight conspiracy I don't mean
it to be but I think you're nottaught about things at school
which people like the governmentand big companies, companies,
corporations, can capitalize offright.
So you're not talking.
Talk about necessarily buyinghouse and mortgages and lawyers
(12:46):
fees, because they don't wantyou to find out, they want you
to slip up because they makemore money that way right so
little fun fact.
Now, this is very naive and Ican't believe I'm gonna admit
this, because it doesn't soundlike an idiot when you look up
mortgages and it says theinterest rate is xyz, right.
So let's say, to keep the mathseasy, you're borrowing 100
pounds, yeah, and it says thatthe interest is again to keep it
(13:07):
easy five percent, five pound,right, yeah.
It doesn't say that it's fivepounds every month on what you
still owe.
So in my head I I know peopleat home will be absolutely
laughing like benji, you're adumbass bitch.
But I just didn't really thinkabout it too much.
So I thought, well, if you'rebringing all that, like,
obviously it's not a hundredpounds, it's thousands that's
gonna say yeah, so you'reliterally paying five percent
(13:28):
every month and what is left topay back?
so if you take a mortgage outfor like, let's say, 200,000
pounds, by the time you've paidit off over like 30 years,
you've actually paid back like450 grand does that not make you
feel a bit sick?
in the stomach.
Yes, and this is why everyonealways says the bank always wins
, and I always just thought thatwas a monopoly term and it's
(13:49):
not.
It literally is true.
The bank always wins.
Wow, yeah, crazy.
But um, yeah, there's thosethings going on like then you
have to get surveys done.
You have to try and haggle thethe haggling is the bit that I
am good at but you have tohaggle the price and if you get
someone else to come look at theproperty, you have to pay them
and they're not cheap likesurveys like 300 pound an hour
and it could take them like twodays.
(14:09):
It's like I was quoted overlike five grand just for a
survey oh my god, I was likethis is pride month and I'm gay.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
I deserve a discount.
It's the gay discount, I thinkeverywhere should give gay
discount personally.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
But um, yeah, it just a.
It's a bit of a terrifyingconcept and then you're locked
into that for 30 years.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
That's what's scary, right, and you don't like
commitment?
I whoa, whoa.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
I don't like commitment.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
No.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
Especially not for 30 years.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
But do you know what?
It's just one of those things.
You have to make a decision.
And you have to make thedecision now because in like not
meaning to like be rude, but inlike 10 years time they might
not give you a mortgage becauseyou're too old.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
Is that how?
Speaker 1 (14:48):
it works.
Yeah, because if you're say youdid get at 40 and the mortgage
is 30 years, you've got to beable to be in a career where,
from 40, 50 till you're 70, thatyou're still earning.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
See what I mean Goodness, yeah, because a friend
of mine has bought a flat aswell and she was saying that one
mistake that she made was putall of her money on the deposit,
but then obviously afterwardslike, oh god, pay for all these
extra fees and things they don'ttell you about, yeah.
And then it's like, oh well,I'd like to buy a new sofa for
my flat and now you can't marry,yeah, basically yeah, it is.
(15:20):
Yeah.
On the paper it's like, oh,let's say, 10 000 pound deposit,
but it's not.
It's all the others, all theextras, and this is where I'm
like I'm not ready for that inmy life so much, and then, as
soon as something goes wrong,you've got to pay for it.
I've got no, calling landlordbeing like honey.
My washing machine's broke.
Can you get me a new washingmachine?
Speaker 1 (15:34):
no, buzz, buzz, you are the landlord yeah I know, oh
, it is scary, but that's whyyou go in and whatever the
prices they want, you knock themdown and you have to factor in
what needs to be spent on it.
Like I know this property, I'mgoing to have to spend at least
70K on it when I buy it.
Yeah, but I've knocked that offthe asking price, so
technically they're paying forit.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Yeah, yeah, makes sense.
You know what?
Speaker 1 (15:52):
I mean, but anyway, boring, boring, boring.
But yeah, it's scary, moneybags.
Wow, daddy's in the house,let's flip this on its head.
You don't have £79,000.
Wow.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
Someone's been doing a tax dodge Listen.
I'm from Jersey.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
No, it's just a part of it's going through the
business.
And do you know what the reasonI'm going through all this
stress and paying all these feesis?
For me it's right becausethere's a commercial premises
underneath which I can rent outbefore I start to use it whilst
I renovate the residentialupstairs, and then, if I choose
to live there, I can or I canrent out, and it's basically two
(16:37):
properties in one.
So for me it makes sense.
But yeah, it's just soexpensive.
Everybody wants your money assoon as you like.
Call someone.
I'm like could you send thisemail?
They're like, yeah, but itcosts this.
I'm in the wrong business.
I mean, I think these peopleare quite smart.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
I don't know how to take that.
I think that's a read, I thinkyou're good at taking it.
And there it is, we're backagain.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
I was about to say something so inappropriate.
But podcast, this isn't eventhe first episode.
This is just like an episodeback into season six.
So we'll keep it tame.
But I was going to say pound mywhole daddy.
Oh, my goodness, speaking ofdaddy, actually can I tell you
(17:33):
how many times all of a suddenin the last six months since
we've been away I have beencalled daddy in an actual not
even like as a joke actuallycalled?
Speaker 2 (17:40):
daddy?
Do you mean in like the gaydaddy terms or like people think
you're an actual daddy?
Speaker 1 (17:44):
No gay terms.
Gay terms, yeah, literally justcalling me daddy.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
But is that the people that you go after?
It's probably they're into that.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
Possibly.
But like before, like literallysix months ago, it rarely
happened.
This last six months, all of asudden, daddy.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
Is this because you look a bit older In six months?
How dare you?
Okay, okay, daddy.
Is this because you look a bitolder in six?
Speaker 1 (18:05):
months.
How dare you?
Yeah, daddy, this daddy, that Idon't really mind it.
I'm kind of starting to embraceit.
I'm thinking maybe I should goout and buy a chunky neck
cardigan and I've startedwearing glasses like do you have
daddy on your grinder profile?
I actually don't know.
Should I have a look?
Yeah, go on.
Should I read you my?
Speaker 2 (18:19):
tags.
Yeah, go on all right.
But question is we all know youlike the younger clientele, the
twinks.
So as you're getting older, youstill fancy the younger twinks,
right?
So the difference, the agedifference, is bigger.
Like when you were 27, youprobably were attracted to the
21, 22 year olds, right?
Speaker 1 (18:38):
Yeah, I guess that is a good point, but I don't think
.
I think now, the difference forme is I mean, the term twink is
so vague and so vile anddelicious, but it's for me it's
more about their personalitythan their actual looks.
I like someone who's quite likeyouthful and sprightly enough
for fun, yeah, whereas a lot ofpeople my age, such as yourself,
(19:00):
are boring.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Well, we know that's not true, because you know that
I'm the life and soul of theparty are boring.
Well, we know that's not truebecause you know I'm the life
and self of the party and everytime you're in london my phone
doesn't stop buzzing, with yousaying when we're going out, I
want to go out.
When are you free?
I want to take you out.
We want to have a massive nightout.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
That's only because I feel sorry for you, because
your nan just died right.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
Read out your bloody grinder profile, please.
I'm actually crying.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Okay, my tags are oh gosh, I don't know if I want to
read these out.
Oh wait, I don't.
I do not.
Did you put these on here?
Speaker 2 (19:32):
I have not looked at your grinder.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
Okay, my tags are Anon.
Well, we've discussed that,yeah, ws.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
WS Water sports, yeah , oh wow, water sports yeah.
Oh wow Group.
Yeah, ff, what's?
Speaker 1 (19:45):
FF, I don't think you want to know what that is.
Fist in fun Sure Kink yeah.
Friends and benefits.
Yeah, Hosting discreet anddaddy.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
So that's why he's like why are all these twinkers
calling me daddy on Grindr I?
Speaker 1 (20:01):
don't understand.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
No, but daddy on Grindr, I don't understand.
No, but I didn't say just onGrindr.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
I just mean like in general, but are you embracing
the daddy vibe?
I don't think so, like as anexample, not on Grindr.
I was at a bar fine, it was agay bar younger guy behind the
bar, really cute, gave me theeye, had a little laugh back and
forth, bounce, bounce, bounce.
He was like what do you want?
Yes, daddy.
And I was like what do Irespond?
Does he want me to say good boyyou like saying that.
(20:28):
I was like anyway, I didn't sayanything.
And then he came back with itand I was like oh, can I get
some lime?
Speaker 2 (20:33):
and again he went yes , daddy, he was, but he was
serious, it wasn't just likebeing a joke he wants to go
courted with you he was likelooking down eyes, the kira
knightley eyes, that cheryl colenation's sweetheart, uh, yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
So apparently I'm missing my daddy era and I've
got to embrace it wow, how doyou feel?
About that?
I don't know yet I don't know.
I feel like once I've reallylike given into it, there's no
going back, but then I don'treally know what era I'm in
otherwise, because I'm I'mobviously not a twink anymore,
I'm not a twunk.
Like what am I, if not a daddy?
Speaker 2 (21:05):
I think you are a daddy it's like pokemon in
evolution you've gone from beingbulbasaur to now charizard.
What are the names?
Do you not know, your pokemon?
That's embarrassing there aresome really cool people at home
screaming at you right nowcharmander, charmillion and
charizard yes you're a charizard.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
you know what?
Know what?
I'll take that Charizard.
I would take that For the firsttime ever.
I will take that.
Anyway, I feel like we'vereally gone off topic, so I need
to go back to our notes andwe'll be back after this very
short break.
(21:43):
So an event that we bothattended in the last couple of
weeks was, I think you said it'sbeen called the largest queer
festival in the uk that's it.
Yeah, it is it was of coursemighty hoopla.
Yeah, it was um, but I I didnot manage the two days, I just
did one day.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
I mean I barely managed the two days as well,
you did one and a half.
Mean, I barely managed the twodays as well, you did one and a
half.
Yeah, if that, if that.
Because I went hard on day one,which was the Saturday.
You went there on Saturday.
I just didn't feel it.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
It was the mud.
It was the mud.
People of London and beyond.
Mighty hoopla.
How much anxiety did you haveabout the mud pit?
Like people were calling it.
Um like tough mudder hoopla, umlike muddy hoopla yeah um, and
I just I know it makes me soundreally prissy, but I just I
couldn't be doing it yeah, I'mnot a huge fan of rolling around
(22:34):
in the mud either, to be honest.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
Oh well that I can get on board, um, but yeah, I
went quite hard on day one.
So on sunday you came, came tomind, didn't you, in the
afternoon, to be like Brad, comeon up, it's time to go?
And I was in bed like I need afew more hours.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
I'll see you later.
We were all in his room liketap dancing trying to wake him
up and he was not okay.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
Not okay.
I was like I need a few morehours to be alive.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
I don't believe that's actually what you said.
What you said was yeah, yeah,I'm getting up.
I'm getting up, you startwalking, I'll catch you up four
hours later.
I'm just leaving mine.
Luckily you live nearby, but umno, so I mean, if you want to
talk about the saturday, you canthe mud, it wasn't actually a
problem.
No, it was a fun day.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
It was really good fun and shout out to the mighty
hoopla team as well, for becausethey had, if you weren't aware,
loads of rain leading up to it,hence all the mud, and so there
was a moment like, is it goingto happen this year?
And it's a one-year event,isn't it?
And, as benji said, it is thelargest queer festival in the uk
, so it's a real safe space fornot only just all the lgbt
(23:35):
family, but all the allies aswell.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
Yeah, for sure, and by the sunday as well.
Like you could tell, all theprecautions they'd put in were
working, and the mighty hooplateam, because if they had to
cancel that, I directly thinkhow much money they would have
lost and they've just stoppeddoing their, was it butlins?
Yeah, the weekend, yeah, sothat's a shame.
And so they put all their moneyand effort into the brockwell
park one in london.
If they cancelled that, but yeah, they must have worked around
(23:58):
the clock yeah, to sort thatpart, because I I had a friend
actually who was at the festival, because they do like a season
of festivals there.
I didn't realize it's not justmighty hoopla correct yeah yeah,
I guess you would if you spent.
You know, if you're you're gonnaruin the grass, you may as well
ruin it for lots of differentfestivals.
But, um, they were at thefestival a few days before and
people were literally likewalking around the edges holding
the fence, yeah, because it wasso muddy.
They were slipping everywhere.
(24:18):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, um, andthat's actually one of the
reasons I don't think I wouldhave made it through saturday
personally.
Um, but yeah, good, shout outto them because it is an
important festival for a lot ofpeople coming from all around
the country.
This could be their one likeproper, like blowout of the year
to feel themselves, to feelaccepted and to be around
like-minded people.
And what I will say abouthoopla is because I feel like
(24:40):
I'm very much one of these, toreally get on the whole, like
it's the wrong aesthetic for gaypeople like I get really angry
when we walk past sex shops andall the models and pictures are
like muscle mary's which whichthey have, a body image which is
just not really accessible fora lot of people and it's not
realistic either.
Speaker 2 (24:57):
Let's be honest, it's not sustainable.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
It's not realistic.
They're most likely on takingharmful, let's say, substances
to maintain these muscles andwhatever.
And there is so much more tobeing gay than that aesthetic.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah so atHoopla as much as you do have
people walk around who obviouslygo to the gym and are very
comfortable in their body, youactually have a little bit of
all the community and that isactually one thing that Hoopla
(25:19):
has, that a lot of otherfestivals that I've been to,
including a lot of otherfestivals that I've been to,
including a lot of prides.
If I'm honest, they don't findthat balance.
So if you haven't been toMighty Hoopla, definitely check
it out.
I think tickets are already outfor next year.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
It's just yeah, it's so.
It's a good vibe, isn't it?
And?
Speaker 1 (25:34):
it's safe and, like you said, there's loads of
allies there.
There are loads of straightpeople there.
It's for you, but it is a onlycome if you're accepting of
everyone for sure, like it is avery loving, loving festival.
I'm not.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
I haven't been paid by hoopla to say any of this.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
By the way, I, just I am I am that bitch that will
drag someone, and I think hooplareally smashed it.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
So yeah, agreed, and talking about it being a loving
festival, you put a thing on theold instagram saying what did
you guys get up to at hooplala?
Any fun stories?
And someone wrote in to saythat they got fisted in a
port-a-loo.
Ff, yeah, ff in a port-a-loo.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
What does FF?
Speaker 2 (26:11):
stand for Fist in fun .
Speaker 1 (26:13):
The second word is not fun, but I'm not sure if
we're allowed to say it on thepodcast Fist in.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
Fingering.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
Fuck.
Oh, I said you can't say it.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
Goodness sake you were acting out doing charades
yes, fist in fuck, fist fuck,yeah, fist fuck.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
Oh goodness me you're right, you've gone a bit pale.
For those of you who don't know, brad is just not for him no,
not for me, not for me, but yeah, that happened in a portaloo.
Now I use these portaloos and AI don't know how they found the
space.
And b why, just why?
Speaker 2 (26:49):
I'm pulling a face.
I wish you could see it.
Um, I'm just my mind is tryingto figure it all out, because
obviously we'll be into portalootiny.
But also, don't you need tohave like special gloves and
special like gel?
Speaker 1 (27:00):
lube.
So there is a thing about noglove, no love.
Not everyone does that,although what I will say is a
lot of a lot of the costumes athoopla, if you hadn't noticed,
did involve wearing gloves.
But you don't have to have.
You don't have to have a glove.
You would normally have like aparticular type of lube.
Yeah and it's.
You can't leave that for safetybecause a lot could go wrong.
You could really damageyourself.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
Oh my, it's the doubt .
Oh my god.
The damage actually makes mesick thinking about it.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
The worry of getting damaged or damaging someone else
, okay we should change that.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
Brad has got a very different colour.
Speaker 1 (27:30):
Right now I need a sip of martini.
I think he's gone the colour ofhis new shoes?
He is, yeah, white white andwhite, yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
So yeah, getting fisted at a festival yeah, did
not have that on the cards for2024.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
I mean, I have so many questions Actually.
If the person who wrote this incould actually get in touch
with us, because I do have somequestions, not tips, but I have
questions about it and maybe wecan go into it deeper.
But, to be fair, a lot of theresponses that we got on the
Instagram were quite, were,quite well, the stuff you'd
expect, apparently, oh rumor.
Oh, go on yeah it didn't happenon the Instagram, but
apparently on the Sunday duringI think it was during Jesse.
(28:05):
No, it was during Rita Ora.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
Oh yes.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
Yeah, so obviously you've got the portaloos, then
you've got the men's urinals,which essentially you go around
a corner.
It's a bit more private andit's like plastic sheets into
the ground.
Yeah Well, you know.
Fine, apparently in there therewas a massive orgy going on and
the security went in, saw it,realised there wasn't enough
security to stop it and just letit happen.
Let there be love.
Did you start that orgy, guys?
Speaker 2 (28:29):
I was in the middle.
Speaker 1 (28:31):
Peggy in the middle Because I did not see you during
retail.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
Okay, well, we all know that I do not go to urinals
.
I cannot use them.
I get wee shy.
Speaker 1 (28:39):
Yeah, I can't get my knob out with everyone, just
looking the word knob, youwouldn't be into water sports
then no, not for me I'd get shy.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
So, vanilla, I know, I do think, as we've done the
podcast, I thought I was alittle bit kinky and outrageous,
but since, obviously, chattingto you and getting to, know your
stories.
A leather paddle and ajockstrap a kink does not make,
see, I think in my mind there'snothing wrong with wanting to be
(29:08):
this is brand new informationwith you know, just being a bit
more passionate and a bit morelove making, that's my vibe,
yeah that's not your vibe.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
That is why we did not work.
Yeah, oh yeah, let's shower andturn the lights off my favorite
oh my gosh but, yes, mightyhoopla another year done.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
It was amazing.
Um, hopefully we'll see somemore of you there again next
year, if you're going to comedown, and those that were there
this year that we saw, lovely tobump into you and put a?
Uh, a face to the names that wesee on the old social media and
, uh, have some pictures yeah,I'm just very sorry that.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
Well for me, anyway, the people that came up to have
pictures.
You were nowhere to to be found, so it was just of me.
I was busy in the orgy in theurinals, oh my goodness.
Anyway, I can't even stomachthinking about you in that
urinals.
Well, bogart says, whilst Ileave you with that beautiful
imagery in your head, we'regoing to take a very little
break.
Actually, brad, that reminds meof something that did happen in
(30:18):
our sort of downtime in thelast six months I haven't told
you about.
Oh, go on, yeah, and it is.
Uh, it actually happened at thegym.
Now, listen, this is gonnasound very I don't want this to
sound like arrogant or weird,like it's like oh, people always
come up to us and spot us.
No disaster, that's not reallya thing that happens like daily,
but it has does happen normallyin very gay, queer friendly
areas such as like clapham and,you know, pride, etc.
However, it did happen to me atmy gym.
(30:40):
Oh yeah, now you might think.
Oh, it was whilst benji waslike killing it on the cross
trainer, or it's whilst benjiwas dead lifting a ridiculous
amount, or it's whilst benji wasdoing like squats and showing
off his ass to all the boys.
That cannot touch my ass.
No, it wasn't.
It was actually in the changingroom.
So you were butt naked gettingchanged.
Well, here we go.
(31:01):
So I was completely naked.
Now I was kind of like hidingmy modesty just out of
politeness.
This flower is not on showtoday.
A bit of voyeurism, hello boys.
Um, yeah, I was.
I was wearing absolutelynothing but a towel.
I just got out of the pool andsomebody came up to me, was like
I'm really sorry.
Like, are you benji from my bigpodcast?
(31:23):
I was, oh yeah, like nice tomeet you.
And then I, yeah, you just sayI'm just passing, but just want
to say I really enjoy thepodcast.
Um, particularly particularlyenjoyed that the episode about
the breakup that you know, thateveryone knows about.
That.
You went on for about sixepisodes don't bring it up again
, bloody hell, still crieshimself to sleep.
He's like, oh, that reallyhelped me.
I was like, oh, I'm reallypleased, that's really nice.
That's why we do it blah blah,sharing all our embarrassing
(31:43):
stories for everyone to sort.
That was me thinking theconversation is over, so I sort
of carry on like getting ready,carried on drying your ass crack
.
Sure, I really hope nobody'shaving dinner right now.
What?
Speaker 2 (31:59):
a lovely image for you.
It's a lovely ass.
The towel between the legs, youknow doing that.
Yeah, more than that, Likeyo-yo.
Speaker 1 (32:06):
Have you tried to do that before, because that's
actually really painful.
They do it in cartoons and Itried it once and I got friction
burn.
Maybe it was a cheap towel,yeah, anyway, he went.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
Oh, before I go, I'll really kick myself if I don't
ask for a picture.
Picture of you in the towel inthe gym.
Speaker 1 (32:22):
Yeah, I don't know if anyone thought it through not
only was I basically naked, Ijust had a towel, a very
revealing towel as well, because, did you know, at the gyms I've
overhe, overheard this.
I think maybe I've told you atreception they change the towel
size throughout the year to makeyou feel like you're getting
bigger.
You have said this before.
That is mad Vile, right.
And they normally do it inJanuary.
So you come back afterChristmas like, oh my goodness,
(32:42):
the towel doesn't fit as well asit used to.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
Right, yeah, I mean, that is what business 101,
whatever, oh.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
I don't know, I don't like it.
So anyway, I've got to take myown towel now.
Keep an eye on my measurements.
Thank you, a Zen pic?
Yeah, ask for a picture.
Now.
I was like I'm not wearing anyclothes.
I also don't look great.
Also, I don't think it's okayto whip out your phone in the
middle of a changing room withother naked men and start men,
yeah, I start taking pictures,yeah, um.
So I felt really rude, but I didsay no, but did you say let's
(33:14):
get a picture outside?
I said I don't think now is agood time and he then was
obviously embarrassed.
I was like oh no that'sabsolutely fine, like I
understand.
I was like no, no, I like Inormally would say yes, but I
feel very like exposed, veryexposed, a little bit insecure
right now and other people maywonder what's happening.
I said, but I'll be reallyquick getting changed and I'll
whack on a hat like a cap andI'll kill you.
We did get a picture in the end, but I just thought, oh, I
(33:35):
never can you imagine thatpicture going.
I just I can't.
What would be in the backgroundas well, all these naked men.
It was quite busy as well right,yeah, yeah I mean I would have
liked a copy of the picture ifthey did get some of those other
men in the background.
Share that picture?
My gym has so many rugbyplayers.
Speaker 2 (33:50):
Oh really, you're into that at the moment as well,
aren't you?
Speaker 1 (33:52):
yeah, well, that's a story for a different time.
Speaker 2 (33:55):
Don't you dare try trickling me down that yeah, but
yes, I'm not against that,that's that, but um but yeah
anyway.
Speaker 1 (34:01):
And then something else happened this week at the
gym.
I had a really bad accident,you're not talking about shit,
are you?
Oh, my gosh, wow.
We're straight back with seasonsix.
Everyone, we're talking fisting, we're talking portolies, we're
talking orgies and shittingyourself at the gym.
No, it wasn't that.
So I have been really good thelast four months.
I've been really trying to workon my body and muscles,
(34:22):
trimming down and trying to feelgood about myself, right.
Speaker 2 (34:24):
Great good for you.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
I fully support that I'm cheerleading you on right
now.
Thank you, I was expecting somesort of compliment, but no
worries at all.
Um, there I was, finishing myworkout, I went for a swim to
sort of relax, as I normally do.
I got out the pool.
Now, around the pool is, I'dsay, like a 40 centimeter vent
that goes all the way around thepool and it's the overflow.
Yes, right, yeah.
So I get out the pool, as Ihave done.
(34:45):
I've been at this gym for likenine years.
Every every time, push myselfout the gym, put my leg up,
stand up, stood up and the ventbroke and I fell through it.
Oh my god.
So it gets so much worse.
So as I went through, it snapped, cuts my right leg open oh, and
my left shin, my left legbecause my leg was still bent
because I just pulled myself upcame down and smacked on the
(35:06):
side of the pool and the pooltrim is metal.
So my shin, which doesn't haveany fat on it, like it's just
literally skin then bone, umsmacked against the whole pool
like donged and um yeah, then itwas like a shark attack.
Speaker 2 (35:20):
There was blood everywhere that makes me feel
sick.
I'm really squeamish aboutblood and guts.
Okay, well, no, guts came out,it wasn't actually a shark
attack but it was bloodeverywhere.
This guy next to me was likeare you okay?
And I was like yeah, you'relike no, for fuck's sake, I'm
bleeding everywhere.
Speaker 1 (35:37):
But I was stuck in the grate and I couldn't move
because genuinely, at thismoment I've got a really high
pain threshold.
Genuinely I actually do.
I could.
I've had my foot run overbefore and I was like I think
I'm fine, like literally my painthreshold is I probably have a
problem, but it's it's reallygood.
I was there stuck in this ventLike I've broken my leg.
My left leg is broken.
(35:58):
I'm going to turn around.
It's going to be like bendingthe wrong way oh my God, that
makes me sick.
So I stood and anyway they hadto press the alarm it was a lot
of drama now because it wasSaturday and I was like, if I go
to the hospital, okay we're offtopic, but I'll be sat there
for years.
God bless the NHS, but I'll besat there, for you should be
there now.
It probably would, but actuallynow I think about it, maybe in
a more fun option, but, uh, um,yeah, crazy.
(36:21):
So I can never return to thatgym.
So if you are the mysteriouslistener who goes to that gym
and you don't see me anymore,it's not because you asked for a
nude selfie with me.
Uh, it's because I embarrassedmyself poolside.
So how's your leg now?
It's actually really sore andwhat's really annoying is
because it's on your shin.
There's not much to bruise, soI have not a lot to show for it
for the amount of pain that Ihave.
(36:42):
Oh, yeah, but it did swell up.
It was like a golf ball for awhile.
Um, I twisted my knee, my backwent, my neck, my booty, my crap
the whole thing was a mess.
The next day it was like I hadwhiplash.
It was like I'd been in a caraccident.
Speaker 2 (36:53):
Yeah, I sat on the sofa like I am old so what I've
learnt from this is to not go tothe gym, and I'm very happy to
abide by that.
So thank you for that words ofwisdom right there anyway
podcast is we to come back?
Speaker 1 (37:07):
and we wanted to say hello, release this episode,
particularly it being pridemonth, and wish you all a very
happy pride month yes, and wewill be back fully every week,
us two in your ears, with seasonsix.
Speaker 2 (37:21):
So this is just a little teaser, just to let you
know what we've been up to, letyou all know that we are alive
and well and we're very, veryexcited to start recording again
full time and, as benji said,have the best best pride.
Speaker 1 (37:34):
Yeah, and the best thing about season six is that
one of the main reasons we'vecome to this studio is, a
because we can film in the sameroom and, b so we can get some
video content with our guests.
So we have some incredibleguests hopefully coming up into
season six and, uh, we're veryexcited to show you what we've
got coming up.
But, podcasters, that is all wehave time for on this week's
episode of my big gay podcast.
As always, please head over toour instagram it's at big gay
(37:55):
podcast, or you can send us anemail with your funny stories,
especially if you're at hoop andyou have more to hello at my
big gay podcastcom and whereveryou are celebrating pride in the
world.
Speaker 2 (38:05):
Happy pride month.
Get those pictures, get ustagging in.
We want to see what you're upto and we'll be back in your
ears.
As I say weekly, very, verysoon.
Speaker 1 (38:13):
But like I said, that's all we have time for on
this week's episode, until nexttime see you next season so,
brad, you know, we've covered acouple of acronyms today, like
fwb being friends with benefitsyes, and I've learned ff what
that means don it again.
We know, I've got another onefor you.
Oh, go on.
G-b-m-d-y-b-b.
Speaker 2 (38:34):
Okay, I'm going to have to write this down and
figure this out, g-b.
Speaker 1 (38:38):
G-B-M-D-Y-B-B.
Speaker 2 (38:41):
Goodbye, my darling young brat no.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
Give back my dungarees, you basic bitch.
I'm serious, thank you.
Gosh, I feel a bit nervous.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Oh, my goodness, it's been a little while, hasn't it?
But I'm so excited, me too.
Right you ready?
Yeah, yeah, I'm ready.
I've got my tinny, and have yougot your phone switched off?
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Oh no, let me just check.
Turn the grind notificationsoff.
Oh, for fuck's sake, I alsocan't read the notes.
But you don, all right, youready I'm ready.
You said there was somedetermination.
I'm ready.
Oh, I'm gonna say press, play,hello and welcome to my big gay
(00:46):
Podcast with me.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Benji and me, Brad, giving you the life, the loves
and lols of living in London.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Two gays one city.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
What could possibly?
Speaker 1 (00:58):
go wrong.
We're back.
Oh my goodness, I know crazy.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
We are back Back, back back Time, six Time, six
Season, six Season six here wego, we're back, oh my goodness,
I know crazy.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
We are back, back, back, back time, six time, six
season, six season six.
Here we go, no, not the musicaltheatre references already and
here we are, and I think now's agood time to mention that we
are in a brand new recordingstudio.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
I heard that they made this studio just for my big
gay podcast you heard wrong.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
they did not make this just for us.
However, what is really lovelyis it's this beautiful green
which is very on brand for usGreen, green, green.
It's giving Wicked the movie.
It's giving like a froggy furbycabbage this baby is
unnaturally green.
I mean the notes are somewherearound there.
Who's this an impression ofYou're green?
I mean the notes are somewherearound there.
(01:46):
Who's this an impression ofYou're green?
No, if you're going to do that,you have to get the right
intonation.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
She goes you're green , that is so good.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Yeah, how many times have you watched that bloody
advert Too many times?
Those of you that don't knowwhat we're talking about, you
shouldn't be listening to thisbook.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
We're talking about the Wicked trailer, the Wicked
movie which comes out later thisyear with Ariana Grande and,
yeah, she's playing Glinda loveit and Cynthia Erivo, which is
very, very exciting.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
But it's just part one.
Did you know it's in two parts?
Speaker 2 (02:14):
I knew it was in two parts.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Well, we know, because, well, we're stagey one
more than the other, but I don'tthink a lot of people know that
because they're not.
I feel like people are going togo to the cinema to watch it
and it's going to stop at thepinnacle moment we don't know
what moment that is, we're notgoing to spoil it for you and
then there could be like parttwo in six years time yeah, and
I'm like great I've got to goand sit for another like two and
a half hours of this.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Yeah, I mean.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
I'm okay.
Are the rumours?
Yeah, I feel like I might.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
I feel like you're the sort of person that would do
that.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
I feel like you invited me to do that with you,
so I don't know why you'resaying that to me.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
Trying to throw you under the bus.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
You've led me down this yellow brick road of a trap
.
Yeah, yes, we're going, we'regoing.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
Am I going to be painted green?
Okay, wearing green, wearinggreen.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
You are wearing green .
I am, yeah, and whose greenoutfit is that?
Speaker 2 (03:02):
These are your dungarees.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
thank you so much, yeah, and you've ruined them
with whatever you've washed themwith, so I don't want them back
.
Have you taken your shoes off?
Speaker 2 (03:09):
I thought I'd get comfy in the podcast.
It's like we're at homechit-chatting Bloody, this is a
lot cleaner than your home.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
No my home is very clean.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Shall we talk about the stains on your sofa.
Okay, okay, on with the podcast.
What have we got to say?
Speaker 1 (03:23):
No, before we start, come on, let's get our tinny.
Oh my goodness, I don'tactually know if we're allowed
to drink in here, but oh well,enjoy.
Here we go For those of youthat enjoy ASMR.
You are welcome, Right?
Cheers, mate.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
Cheers.
Here we go, season six.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
Well, season six Now.
We have been away for a while.
Now's a good time to mentionthat we I don't think we
actually have had an episode outsince Christmas.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Yeah, we did the Christmas special and then we
started planning season six atthe start of the year.
We did, we had your birthday,didn't we?
We celebrated hard in Januaryand then like, right, season six
, let's get planning.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
Six months later, I'm still hungover.
Did you survive?
That day I did survive, justabout yeah, I actually don't
even remember what happened, butyeah, it was.
It was a good one, it was a madone messy, yeah, messy, but um,
yeah, then life just sort oftook a different turn, didn't I?
Speaker 2 (04:14):
let you sort of talk about that yeah, I mean, I don't
know if anyone else can relateto this, but you know, sometimes
things just like get thrown inyour face, yeah, sort of life
things, and then you, everythingchanges right sometimes I love
it when things I was thinkingwhen I said that I was like why
am I, why am I going dirtyalready?
Speaker 1 (04:31):
throw it on my face, sit on my face slap my face with
it.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
I don't mind all the things um, so yeah, you may may
not have seen online, but um,unfortunately my nan was really
ill at the start of the year anduh, ends up going to hospital
and unfortunately she didn'tmake it and she did pass.
So that sort of dominated wedominated where um yeah, that
(04:56):
kind of like took over my life alittle bit, because I was back
home quite a lot seeing thefamily.
I then was involved withplanning the funeral.
I read a eulogy at my nan'sfuneral as well, so that sort of
took me out of life for a fewmonths, whilst I was doing that,
yeah, so eulogy for those thatmight not know what that is what
exactly is it?
uh, it's like a little speechwhere you talk about that person
(05:16):
and all the wonderful thingsthey have done and all the
lovely things they have left asa lasting impression I see.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
So not that I'm planning'm planning to.
But if I wasn't here and youwere, I don't know why my family
would ask you to read one.
But if you were to read aeulogy, what would you say about
me?
Speaker 2 (05:31):
A eulogy at your funeral.
Absolutely Well, it dependswho's at the funeral.
Assuming all your family right?
Speaker 1 (05:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
So I'd have to have like a family-friendly eulogy.
Oh my goodness.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
I'd have to have like two funerals.
Hello, how do you know, Benji,you are a twink.
Take the door to the left,please.
And are you related?
You are related.
Door to the right, please.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
Yeah, two separate funerals.
I'll do the nice PC,family-friendly one and then hop
next door and do the real one.
Wow yeah, hi, everyone, welcome.
I've got some lines that Iwanted to share with you all but
(06:12):
unfortunately Benji did themall before he passed.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
Oh my gosh, imagine if you read that the wrong way
and my mum like what's a line?
She doesn't speak like that,she's actually very well
educated, but she would not knowwhat that meant.
It would go right over her headactually.
Bless her heart, her heart.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
Yeah, she wouldn't understand that joke.
No, I'd be like.
One of my favorite memories ofbenji was at a house party once
and he had passed out andsomeone got a plate and made
lines of cocaine on this plateand did them off your teeth.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Okay, first of all, passed out, I went for a nap
because I was tired.
B that someone was you.
And C yes, I woke up, starredout on your bed with everyone
doing lines off my chest.
Yeah, to be fair, when I tellthat story, people are like oh,
that sounds quite sexy.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
Actually, I'm like if you, if you were only there it
was not sexy and I remember Iwoke up.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
I was like what's happening?
And then you just like pattedmy head, you're like it's all
fine, okay, I was like yeah Ifeel safe and I went back to bed
oh, good times, good memory.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
So yeah, that would make the uh unity as well.
That memory wow, people aregonna have such a lovely lasting
memory of me.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
But um no, I'm really sorry that you went through
that.
I know obviously we have keptin touch this whole time and it
was very difficult, difficulttime.
So I'm very sorry, but I'mpleased that you've sort of
feeling better about it all now.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Thank you, yeah, yeah .
And also you know, when I thenwas back to London and we
started to plan season six againand then you had to be taken
off because you've been busy athome, you had to be taken off.
Sounds like I was arrested forsomething.
You've been in and out of court, you know I mean wouldn't be
(07:47):
surprised.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Oh my goodness, no, we're not going down the lawsuit
, but um, yeah, I do.
You know what, though?
To change the subject, I can'tbelieve that it was almost a
year ago that we marched inlondon pride.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Because it is june, we are back in pride month we
are happy, pride to everyone,listening you fabulous people,
you, yeah and um, yeah, it was ayear ago.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
And it keeps popping up like, oh, a year ago you were
doing this.
And it's like pictures of uslike getting our t-shirts ready,
getting the speaker ready,catching the music, getting the
dancers like to choreograph.
Because those of you thathaven't seen the video on our
instagram or didn't see us atlondon pride, we put on a show
we did.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
I said to you when we got offered london pride last
year, I was like benji, am Idoing it?
If we can put on a big show,yeah, I'm not just walking down
like I want confetti, I wantglitter, I want dancers, I want
music, I want the whole shebangright and I said I want a
different podcast host no, butwas I right to push you in that
direction?
Speaker 1 (08:39):
you were, I had to keep those purse strings tight.
Mama, you know how much I likethings tight.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
Because you are spenny, spenny, spenny.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
But no, actually the end effect was amazing.
It was a really good day, Ithink one of the best things
actually I've ever done.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
I loved it.
I loved it and it was just sonice to be involved with all the
other groups as well in theparade, and everyone was just
there for a great time and tospread the love and just be loud
and proud.
Right, it was, oh god, what atime to be alive.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
I know it was mad, and we kind of had a
conversation, didn't we?
And we said look, we're eithergoing to have to try and do
London Pride again and push backreleasing episodes or let's
just focus back on the episodes.
And we decided, well as you cantell, to come back and do the
episodes, so we hope that's theright choice.
We're very sorry for anyone atLondon Pride this year.
We won't be there, but we willbe celebrating in our own very
gay, frivolous way.
(09:29):
Always Do I mean frivolous?
What does that mean?
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Frivolous?
Does that mean like carefree?
Speaker 1 (09:34):
I think it does.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Yeah, let's go with that.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Let's go with that.
That is what.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Before we carry on chatting all things big and gay
and podcast, let's take a littlebreak.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
Podcast is in the break.
I did actually ask Brad to puthis shoes back on, because he
has the smelliest feet you haveever had to stand.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
I'm looking at you and I'm staring at you because
that conversation didn't happen.
You're a liar.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
Oh my gosh, I've never had someone look at me so
hard and hope that I just stopbreathing.
That was hilarious, no ofcourse I'm only joking.
They don't really smell.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
Thank you.
These are brand new shoes aswell.
They look brand new.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
You were that kid at school, weren't you, that turned
up after a break and you hadbrands spanking you and
everything.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
New haircut, new trainers?
Yeah, I mean, we can talk aboutyour hair if you want to.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
I don't know if you're ready for that today,
Mama.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Anyway, going back to talking about all things tight,
yes, you have my attention.
So you have also been keepingthe purse strings a bit tight
recently as well.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
Yes, that is true.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
Yeah, because you, as I said, I came back to London
and then you were then out ofLondon because you've been
buying a bloody house.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
This is true.
It's such a crazy thing.
I thought I was quite.
I like to think that I've got agood idea about, like business
and you know, saving money etc.
Purchasing whatever.
Buying a house is a completelydifferent kettle of fish,
different ballgame, andeverybody wants your money.
Everybody will charge you tobuy a property.
(11:17):
So to give you a breakdown,obviously, as we've discussed
briefly before, I have abusiness in the Channel Islands
and this new property that I'mbuying is on the ground floor is
a second shop and then above itis a really lovely flat and the
sale hasn't gone through yet,but the process of it is
mind-blowing.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
When you told me you're buying a house, my mind
was like that is very adult.
I can't.
My mind's not even there yet.
Okay, I just have something totell you.
Go on, we are adults, I know,but sometimes I don't like to
think of that.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
I just like to.
Is that why you're sat there,no shoes on, in a pair of
dungarees, correct?
Speaker 2 (11:49):
sucking your thumb, this one, she's always sucking
something um no, just thethought of buying property
really scares me.
I'll be honest with you becauseI don't know.
You don't get taught that atschool, do you?
You only find out from doing.
Yeah, and it is a lot of moneyand obviously the way the market
is at the moment is also veryscary.
(12:10):
Yeah, um.
So there's just so many factors.
I'm like do you know what?
I don't want the hat or theheadache, but you have gone
ahead and pursued this, which isamazing.
So you can be like my guineapig, okay, and then when I'm
ready to buy somewhere, you cantalk me through it all because
you've done it.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
Yeah, and that'd be like 50 years down the line.
Do you know what?
It is crazy?
And you're not taught thesethings at school.
And I think now this might be aslight conspiracy I don't mean
it to be but I think you're nottaught about things at school
which people like the governmentand big companies, companies,
corporations, can capitalize offright.
So you're not talking.
Talk about necessarily buyinghouse and mortgages and lawyers
(12:46):
fees, because they don't wantyou to find out, they want you
to slip up because they makemore money that way right so
little fun fact.
Now, this is very naive and Ican't believe I'm gonna admit
this, because it doesn't soundlike an idiot when you look up
mortgages and it says theinterest rate is xyz, right.
So let's say, to keep the mathseasy, you're borrowing 100
pounds, yeah, and it says thatthe interest is again to keep it
(13:07):
easy five percent, five pound,right, yeah.
It doesn't say that it's fivepounds every month on what you
still owe.
So in my head I I know peopleat home will be absolutely
laughing like benji, you're adumbass bitch.
But I just didn't really thinkabout it too much.
So I thought, well, if you'rebringing all that, like,
obviously it's not a hundredpounds, it's thousands that's
gonna say yeah, so you'reliterally paying five percent
(13:28):
every month and what is left topay back?
so if you take a mortgage outfor like, let's say, 200,000
pounds, by the time you've paidit off over like 30 years,
you've actually paid back like450 grand does that not make you
feel a bit sick?
in the stomach.
Yes, and this is why everyonealways says the bank always wins
, and I always just thought thatwas a monopoly term and it's
(13:49):
not.
It literally is true.
The bank always wins.
Wow, yeah, crazy.
But um, yeah, there's thosethings going on like then you
have to get surveys done.
You have to try and haggle thethe haggling is the bit that I
am good at but you have tohaggle the price and if you get
someone else to come look at theproperty, you have to pay them
and they're not cheap likesurveys like 300 pound an hour
and it could take them like twodays.
(14:09):
It's like I was quoted overlike five grand just for a
survey oh my god, I was likethis is pride month and I'm gay.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
I deserve a discount.
It's the gay discount, I thinkeverywhere should give gay
discount personally.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
But um, yeah, it just a.
It's a bit of a terrifyingconcept and then you're locked
into that for 30 years.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
That's what's scary, right, and you don't like
commitment?
I whoa, whoa.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
I don't like commitment.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
No.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
Especially not for 30 years.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
But do you know what?
It's just one of those things.
You have to make a decision.
And you have to make thedecision now because in like not
meaning to like be rude, but inlike 10 years time they might
not give you a mortgage becauseyou're too old.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
Is that how?
Speaker 1 (14:48):
it works.
Yeah, because if you're say youdid get at 40 and the mortgage
is 30 years, you've got to beable to be in a career where,
from 40, 50 till you're 70, thatyou're still earning.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
See what I mean Goodness, yeah, because a friend
of mine has bought a flat aswell and she was saying that one
mistake that she made was putall of her money on the deposit,
but then obviously afterwardslike, oh god, pay for all these
extra fees and things they don'ttell you about, yeah.
And then it's like, oh well,I'd like to buy a new sofa for
my flat and now you can't marry,yeah, basically yeah, it is.
(15:20):
Yeah.
On the paper it's like, oh,let's say, 10 000 pound deposit,
but it's not.
It's all the others, all theextras, and this is where I'm
like I'm not ready for that inmy life so much, and then, as
soon as something goes wrong,you've got to pay for it.
I've got no, calling landlordbeing like honey.
My washing machine's broke.
Can you get me a new washingmachine?
Speaker 1 (15:34):
no, buzz, buzz, you are the landlord yeah I know, oh
, it is scary, but that's whyyou go in and whatever the
prices they want, you knock themdown and you have to factor in
what needs to be spent on it.
Like I know this property, I'mgoing to have to spend at least
70K on it when I buy it.
Yeah, but I've knocked that offthe asking price, so
technically they're paying forit.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Yeah, yeah, makes sense.
You know what?
Speaker 1 (15:52):
I mean, but anyway, boring, boring, boring.
But yeah, it's scary, moneybags.
Wow, daddy's in the house,let's flip this on its head.
You don't have £79,000.
Wow.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
Someone's been doing a tax dodge Listen.
I'm from Jersey.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
No, it's just a part of it's going through the
business.
And do you know what the reasonI'm going through all this
stress and paying all these feesis?
For me it's right becausethere's a commercial premises
underneath which I can rent outbefore I start to use it whilst
I renovate the residentialupstairs, and then, if I choose
to live there, I can or I canrent out, and it's basically two
(16:37):
properties in one.
So for me it makes sense.
But yeah, it's just soexpensive.
Everybody wants your money assoon as you like.
Call someone.
I'm like could you send thisemail?
They're like, yeah, but itcosts this.
I'm in the wrong business.
I mean, I think these peopleare quite smart.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
I don't know how to take that.
I think that's a read, I thinkyou're good at taking it.
And there it is, we're backagain.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
I was about to say something so inappropriate.
But podcast, this isn't eventhe first episode.
This is just like an episodeback into season six.
So we'll keep it tame.
But I was going to say pound mywhole daddy.
Oh, my goodness, speaking ofdaddy, actually can I tell you
(17:33):
how many times all of a suddenin the last six months since
we've been away I have beencalled daddy in an actual not
even like as a joke actuallycalled?
Speaker 2 (17:40):
daddy?
Do you mean in like the gaydaddy terms or like people think
you're an actual daddy?
Speaker 1 (17:44):
No gay terms.
Gay terms, yeah, literally justcalling me daddy.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
But is that the people that you go after?
It's probably they're into that.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
Possibly.
But like before, like literallysix months ago, it rarely
happened.
This last six months, all of asudden, daddy.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
Is this because you look a bit older In six months?
How dare you?
Okay, okay, daddy.
Is this because you look a bitolder in six?
Speaker 1 (18:05):
months.
How dare you?
Yeah, daddy, this daddy, that Idon't really mind it.
I'm kind of starting to embraceit.
I'm thinking maybe I should goout and buy a chunky neck
cardigan and I've startedwearing glasses like do you have
daddy on your grinder profile?
I actually don't know.
Should I have a look?
Yeah, go on.
Should I read you my?
Speaker 2 (18:19):
tags.
Yeah, go on all right.
But question is we all know youlike the younger clientele, the
twinks.
So as you're getting older, youstill fancy the younger twinks,
right?
So the difference, the agedifference, is bigger.
Like when you were 27, youprobably were attracted to the
21, 22 year olds, right?
Speaker 1 (18:38):
Yeah, I guess that is a good point, but I don't think
.
I think now, the difference forme is I mean, the term twink is
so vague and so vile anddelicious, but it's for me it's
more about their personalitythan their actual looks.
I like someone who's quite likeyouthful and sprightly enough
for fun, yeah, whereas a lot ofpeople my age, such as yourself,
(19:00):
are boring.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Well, we know that's not true, because you know that
I'm the life and soul of theparty are boring.
Well, we know that's not truebecause you know I'm the life
and self of the party and everytime you're in london my phone
doesn't stop buzzing, with yousaying when we're going out, I
want to go out.
When are you free?
I want to take you out.
We want to have a massive nightout.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
That's only because I feel sorry for you, because
your nan just died right.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
Read out your bloody grinder profile, please.
I'm actually crying.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Okay, my tags are oh gosh, I don't know if I want to
read these out.
Oh wait, I don't.
I do not.
Did you put these on here?
Speaker 2 (19:32):
I have not looked at your grinder.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
Okay, my tags are Anon.
Well, we've discussed that,yeah, ws.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
WS Water sports, yeah , oh wow, water sports yeah.
Oh wow Group.
Yeah, ff, what's?
Speaker 1 (19:45):
FF, I don't think you want to know what that is.
Fist in fun Sure Kink yeah.
Friends and benefits.
Yeah, Hosting discreet anddaddy.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
So that's why he's like why are all these twinkers
calling me daddy on Grindr I?
Speaker 1 (20:01):
don't understand.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
No, but daddy on Grindr, I don't understand.
No, but I didn't say just onGrindr.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
I just mean like in general, but are you embracing
the daddy vibe?
I don't think so, like as anexample, not on Grindr.
I was at a bar fine, it was agay bar younger guy behind the
bar, really cute, gave me theeye, had a little laugh back and
forth, bounce, bounce, bounce.
He was like what do you want?
Yes, daddy.
And I was like what do Irespond?
Does he want me to say good boyyou like saying that.
(20:28):
I was like anyway, I didn't sayanything.
And then he came back with itand I was like oh, can I get
some lime?
Speaker 2 (20:33):
and again he went yes , daddy, he was, but he was
serious, it wasn't just likebeing a joke he wants to go
courted with you he was likelooking down eyes, the kira
knightley eyes, that cheryl colenation's sweetheart, uh, yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
So apparently I'm missing my daddy era and I've
got to embrace it wow, how doyou feel?
About that?
I don't know yet I don't know.
I feel like once I've reallylike given into it, there's no
going back, but then I don'treally know what era I'm in
otherwise, because I'm I'mobviously not a twink anymore,
I'm not a twunk.
Like what am I, if not a daddy?
Speaker 2 (21:05):
I think you are a daddy it's like pokemon in
evolution you've gone from beingbulbasaur to now charizard.
What are the names?
Do you not know, your pokemon?
That's embarrassing there aresome really cool people at home
screaming at you right nowcharmander, charmillion and
charizard yes you're a charizard.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
you know what?
Know what?
I'll take that Charizard.
I would take that For the firsttime ever.
I will take that.
Anyway, I feel like we'vereally gone off topic, so I need
to go back to our notes andwe'll be back after this very
short break.
(21:43):
So an event that we bothattended in the last couple of
weeks was, I think you said it'sbeen called the largest queer
festival in the uk that's it.
Yeah, it is it was of coursemighty hoopla.
Yeah, it was um, but I I didnot manage the two days, I just
did one day.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
I mean I barely managed the two days as well,
you did one and a half.
Mean, I barely managed the twodays as well, you did one and a
half.
Yeah, if that, if that.
Because I went hard on day one,which was the Saturday.
You went there on Saturday.
I just didn't feel it.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
It was the mud.
It was the mud.
People of London and beyond.
Mighty hoopla.
How much anxiety did you haveabout the mud pit?
Like people were calling it.
Um like tough mudder hoopla, umlike muddy hoopla yeah um, and
I just I know it makes me soundreally prissy, but I just I
couldn't be doing it yeah, I'mnot a huge fan of rolling around
(22:34):
in the mud either, to be honest.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
Oh well that I can get on board, um, but yeah, I
went quite hard on day one.
So on sunday you came, came tomind, didn't you, in the
afternoon, to be like Brad, comeon up, it's time to go?
And I was in bed like I need afew more hours.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
I'll see you later.
We were all in his room liketap dancing trying to wake him
up and he was not okay.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
Not okay.
I was like I need a few morehours to be alive.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
I don't believe that's actually what you said.
What you said was yeah, yeah,I'm getting up.
I'm getting up, you startwalking, I'll catch you up four
hours later.
I'm just leaving mine.
Luckily you live nearby, but umno, so I mean, if you want to
talk about the saturday, you canthe mud, it wasn't actually a
problem.
No, it was a fun day.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
It was really good fun and shout out to the mighty
hoopla team as well, for becausethey had, if you weren't aware,
loads of rain leading up to it,hence all the mud, and so there
was a moment like, is it goingto happen this year?
And it's a one-year event,isn't it?
And, as benji said, it is thelargest queer festival in the uk
, so it's a real safe space fornot only just all the lgbt
(23:35):
family, but all the allies aswell.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
Yeah, for sure, and by the sunday as well.
Like you could tell, all theprecautions they'd put in were
working, and the mighty hooplateam, because if they had to
cancel that, I directly thinkhow much money they would have
lost and they've just stoppeddoing their, was it butlins?
Yeah, the weekend, yeah, sothat's a shame.
And so they put all their moneyand effort into the brockwell
park one in london.
If they cancelled that, but yeah, they must have worked around
(23:58):
the clock yeah, to sort thatpart, because I I had a friend
actually who was at the festival, because they do like a season
of festivals there.
I didn't realize it's not justmighty hoopla correct yeah yeah,
I guess you would if you spent.
You know, if you're you're gonnaruin the grass, you may as well
ruin it for lots of differentfestivals.
But, um, they were at thefestival a few days before and
people were literally likewalking around the edges holding
the fence, yeah, because it wasso muddy.
They were slipping everywhere.
(24:18):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, um, andthat's actually one of the
reasons I don't think I wouldhave made it through saturday
personally.
Um, but yeah, good, shout outto them because it is an
important festival for a lot ofpeople coming from all around
the country.
This could be their one likeproper, like blowout of the year
to feel themselves, to feelaccepted and to be around
like-minded people.
And what I will say abouthoopla is because I feel like
(24:40):
I'm very much one of these, toreally get on the whole, like
it's the wrong aesthetic for gaypeople like I get really angry
when we walk past sex shops andall the models and pictures are
like muscle mary's which whichthey have, a body image which is
just not really accessible fora lot of people and it's not
realistic either.
Speaker 2 (24:57):
Let's be honest, it's not sustainable.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
It's not realistic.
They're most likely on takingharmful, let's say, substances
to maintain these muscles andwhatever.
And there is so much more tobeing gay than that aesthetic.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah so atHoopla as much as you do have
people walk around who obviouslygo to the gym and are very
comfortable in their body, youactually have a little bit of
all the community and that isactually one thing that Hoopla
(25:19):
has, that a lot of otherfestivals that I've been to,
including a lot of otherfestivals that I've been to,
including a lot of prides.
If I'm honest, they don't findthat balance.
So if you haven't been toMighty Hoopla, definitely check
it out.
I think tickets are already outfor next year.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
It's just yeah, it's so.
It's a good vibe, isn't it?
And?
Speaker 1 (25:34):
it's safe and, like you said, there's loads of
allies there.
There are loads of straightpeople there.
It's for you, but it is a onlycome if you're accepting of
everyone for sure, like it is avery loving, loving festival.
I'm not.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
I haven't been paid by hoopla to say any of this.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
By the way, I, just I am I am that bitch that will
drag someone, and I think hooplareally smashed it.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
So yeah, agreed, and talking about it being a loving
festival, you put a thing on theold instagram saying what did
you guys get up to at hooplala?
Any fun stories?
And someone wrote in to saythat they got fisted in a
port-a-loo.
Ff, yeah, ff in a port-a-loo.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
What does FF?
Speaker 2 (26:11):
stand for Fist in fun .
Speaker 1 (26:13):
The second word is not fun, but I'm not sure if
we're allowed to say it on thepodcast Fist in.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
Fingering.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
Fuck.
Oh, I said you can't say it.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
Goodness sake you were acting out doing charades
yes, fist in fuck, fist fuck,yeah, fist fuck.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
Oh goodness me you're right, you've gone a bit pale.
For those of you who don't know, brad is just not for him no,
not for me, not for me, but yeah, that happened in a portaloo.
Now I use these portaloos and AI don't know how they found the
space.
And b why, just why?
Speaker 2 (26:49):
I'm pulling a face.
I wish you could see it.
Um, I'm just my mind is tryingto figure it all out, because
obviously we'll be into portalootiny.
But also, don't you need tohave like special gloves and
special like gel?
Speaker 1 (27:00):
lube.
So there is a thing about noglove, no love.
Not everyone does that,although what I will say is a
lot of a lot of the costumes athoopla, if you hadn't noticed,
did involve wearing gloves.
But you don't have to have.
You don't have to have a glove.
You would normally have like aparticular type of lube.
Yeah and it's.
You can't leave that for safetybecause a lot could go wrong.
You could really damageyourself.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
Oh my, it's the doubt .
Oh my god.
The damage actually makes mesick thinking about it.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
The worry of getting damaged or damaging someone else
, okay we should change that.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
Brad has got a very different colour.
Speaker 1 (27:30):
Right now I need a sip of martini.
I think he's gone the colour ofhis new shoes?
He is, yeah, white white andwhite, yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
So yeah, getting fisted at a festival yeah, did
not have that on the cards for2024.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
I mean, I have so many questions Actually.
If the person who wrote this incould actually get in touch
with us, because I do have somequestions, not tips, but I have
questions about it and maybe wecan go into it deeper.
But, to be fair, a lot of theresponses that we got on the
Instagram were quite, were,quite well, the stuff you'd
expect, apparently, oh rumor.
Oh, go on yeah it didn't happenon the Instagram, but
apparently on the Sunday duringI think it was during Jesse.
(28:05):
No, it was during Rita Ora.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
Oh yes.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
Yeah, so obviously you've got the portaloos, then
you've got the men's urinals,which essentially you go around
a corner.
It's a bit more private andit's like plastic sheets into
the ground.
Yeah Well, you know.
Fine, apparently in there therewas a massive orgy going on and
the security went in, saw it,realised there wasn't enough
security to stop it and just letit happen.
Let there be love.
Did you start that orgy, guys?
Speaker 2 (28:29):
I was in the middle.
Speaker 1 (28:31):
Peggy in the middle Because I did not see you during
retail.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
Okay, well, we all know that I do not go to urinals
.
I cannot use them.
I get wee shy.
Speaker 1 (28:39):
Yeah, I can't get my knob out with everyone, just
looking the word knob, youwouldn't be into water sports
then no, not for me I'd get shy.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
So, vanilla, I know, I do think, as we've done the
podcast, I thought I was alittle bit kinky and outrageous,
but since, obviously, chattingto you and getting to, know your
stories.
A leather paddle and ajockstrap a kink does not make,
see, I think in my mind there'snothing wrong with wanting to be
(29:08):
this is brand new informationwith you know, just being a bit
more passionate and a bit morelove making, that's my vibe,
yeah that's not your vibe.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
That is why we did not work.
Yeah, oh yeah, let's shower andturn the lights off my favorite
oh my gosh but, yes, mightyhoopla another year done.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
It was amazing.
Um, hopefully we'll see somemore of you there again next
year, if you're going to comedown, and those that were there
this year that we saw, lovely tobump into you and put a?
Uh, a face to the names that wesee on the old social media and
, uh, have some pictures yeah,I'm just very sorry that.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
Well for me, anyway, the people that came up to have
pictures.
You were nowhere to to be found, so it was just of me.
I was busy in the orgy in theurinals, oh my goodness.
Anyway, I can't even stomachthinking about you in that
urinals.
Well, bogart says, whilst Ileave you with that beautiful
imagery in your head, we'regoing to take a very little
break.
Actually, brad, that reminds meof something that did happen in
(30:18):
our sort of downtime in thelast six months I haven't told
you about.
Oh, go on, yeah, and it is.
Uh, it actually happened at thegym.
Now, listen, this is gonnasound very I don't want this to
sound like arrogant or weird,like it's like oh, people always
come up to us and spot us.
No disaster, that's not reallya thing that happens like daily,
but it has does happen normallyin very gay, queer friendly
areas such as like clapham and,you know, pride, etc.
However, it did happen to me atmy gym.
(30:40):
Oh yeah, now you might think.
Oh, it was whilst benji waslike killing it on the cross
trainer, or it's whilst benjiwas dead lifting a ridiculous
amount, or it's whilst benji wasdoing like squats and showing
off his ass to all the boys.
That cannot touch my ass.
No, it wasn't.
It was actually in the changingroom.
So you were butt naked gettingchanged.
Well, here we go.
(31:01):
So I was completely naked.
Now I was kind of like hidingmy modesty just out of
politeness.
This flower is not on showtoday.
A bit of voyeurism, hello boys.
Um, yeah, I was.
I was wearing absolutelynothing but a towel.
I just got out of the pool andsomebody came up to me, was like
I'm really sorry.
Like, are you benji from my bigpodcast?
(31:23):
I was, oh yeah, like nice tomeet you.
And then I, yeah, you just sayI'm just passing, but just want
to say I really enjoy thepodcast.
Um, particularly particularlyenjoyed that the episode about
the breakup that you know, thateveryone knows about.
That.
You went on for about sixepisodes don't bring it up again
, bloody hell, still crieshimself to sleep.
He's like, oh, that reallyhelped me.
I was like, oh, I'm reallypleased, that's really nice.
That's why we do it blah blah,sharing all our embarrassing
(31:43):
stories for everyone to sort.
That was me thinking theconversation is over, so I sort
of carry on like getting ready,carried on drying your ass crack
.
Sure, I really hope nobody'shaving dinner right now.
What?
Speaker 2 (31:59):
a lovely image for you.
It's a lovely ass.
The towel between the legs, youknow doing that.
Yeah, more than that, Likeyo-yo.
Speaker 1 (32:06):
Have you tried to do that before, because that's
actually really painful.
They do it in cartoons and Itried it once and I got friction
burn.
Maybe it was a cheap towel,yeah, anyway, he went.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
Oh, before I go, I'll really kick myself if I don't
ask for a picture.
Picture of you in the towel inthe gym.
Speaker 1 (32:22):
Yeah, I don't know if anyone thought it through not
only was I basically naked, Ijust had a towel, a very
revealing towel as well, because, did you know, at the gyms I've
overhe, overheard this.
I think maybe I've told you atreception they change the towel
size throughout the year to makeyou feel like you're getting
bigger.
You have said this before.
That is mad Vile, right.
And they normally do it inJanuary.
So you come back afterChristmas like, oh my goodness,
(32:42):
the towel doesn't fit as well asit used to.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
Right, yeah, I mean, that is what business 101,
whatever, oh.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
I don't know, I don't like it.
So anyway, I've got to take myown towel now.
Keep an eye on my measurements.
Thank you, a Zen pic?
Yeah, ask for a picture.
Now.
I was like I'm not wearing anyclothes.
I also don't look great.
Also, I don't think it's okayto whip out your phone in the
middle of a changing room withother naked men and start men,
yeah, I start taking pictures,yeah, um.
So I felt really rude, but I didsay no, but did you say let's
(33:14):
get a picture outside?
I said I don't think now is agood time and he then was
obviously embarrassed.
I was like oh no that'sabsolutely fine, like I
understand.
I was like no, no, I like Inormally would say yes, but I
feel very like exposed, veryexposed, a little bit insecure
right now and other people maywonder what's happening.
I said, but I'll be reallyquick getting changed and I'll
whack on a hat like a cap andI'll kill you.
We did get a picture in the end, but I just thought, oh, I
(33:35):
never can you imagine thatpicture going.
I just I can't.
What would be in the backgroundas well, all these naked men.
It was quite busy as well right,yeah, yeah I mean I would have
liked a copy of the picture ifthey did get some of those other
men in the background.
Share that picture?
My gym has so many rugbyplayers.
Speaker 2 (33:50):
Oh really, you're into that at the moment as well,
aren't you?
Speaker 1 (33:52):
yeah, well, that's a story for a different time.
Speaker 2 (33:55):
Don't you dare try trickling me down that yeah, but
yes, I'm not against that,that's that, but um but yeah
anyway.
Speaker 1 (34:01):
And then something else happened this week at the
gym.
I had a really bad accident,you're not talking about shit,
are you?
Oh, my gosh, wow.
We're straight back with seasonsix.
Everyone, we're talking fisting, we're talking portolies, we're
talking orgies and shittingyourself at the gym.
No, it wasn't that.
So I have been really good thelast four months.
I've been really trying to workon my body and muscles,
(34:22):
trimming down and trying to feelgood about myself, right.
Speaker 2 (34:24):
Great good for you.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
I fully support that I'm cheerleading you on right
now.
Thank you, I was expecting somesort of compliment, but no
worries at all.
Um, there I was, finishing myworkout, I went for a swim to
sort of relax, as I normally do.
I got out the pool.
Now, around the pool is, I'dsay, like a 40 centimeter vent
that goes all the way around thepool and it's the overflow.
Yes, right, yeah.
So I get out the pool, as Ihave done.
(34:45):
I've been at this gym for likenine years.
Every every time, push myselfout the gym, put my leg up,
stand up, stood up and the ventbroke and I fell through it.
Oh my god.
So it gets so much worse.
So as I went through, it snapped, cuts my right leg open oh, and
my left shin, my left legbecause my leg was still bent
because I just pulled myself upcame down and smacked on the
(35:06):
side of the pool and the pooltrim is metal.
So my shin, which doesn't haveany fat on it, like it's just
literally skin then bone, umsmacked against the whole pool
like donged and um yeah, then itwas like a shark attack.
Speaker 2 (35:20):
There was blood everywhere that makes me feel
sick.
I'm really squeamish aboutblood and guts.
Okay, well, no, guts came out,it wasn't actually a shark
attack but it was bloodeverywhere.
This guy next to me was likeare you okay?
And I was like yeah, you'relike no, for fuck's sake, I'm
bleeding everywhere.
Speaker 1 (35:37):
But I was stuck in the grate and I couldn't move
because genuinely, at thismoment I've got a really high
pain threshold.
Genuinely I actually do.
I could.
I've had my foot run overbefore and I was like I think
I'm fine, like literally my painthreshold is I probably have a
problem, but it's it's reallygood.
I was there stuck in this ventLike I've broken my leg.
My left leg is broken.
(35:58):
I'm going to turn around.
It's going to be like bendingthe wrong way oh my God, that
makes me sick.
So I stood and anyway they hadto press the alarm it was a lot
of drama now because it wasSaturday and I was like, if I go
to the hospital, okay we're offtopic, but I'll be sat there
for years.
God bless the NHS, but I'll besat there, for you should be
there now.
It probably would, but actuallynow I think about it, maybe in
a more fun option, but, uh, um,yeah, crazy.
(36:21):
So I can never return to thatgym.
So if you are the mysteriouslistener who goes to that gym
and you don't see me anymore,it's not because you asked for a
nude selfie with me.
Uh, it's because I embarrassedmyself poolside.
So how's your leg now?
It's actually really sore andwhat's really annoying is
because it's on your shin.
There's not much to bruise, soI have not a lot to show for it
for the amount of pain that Ihave.
(36:42):
Oh, yeah, but it did swell up.
It was like a golf ball for awhile.
Um, I twisted my knee, my backwent, my neck, my booty, my crap
the whole thing was a mess.
The next day it was like I hadwhiplash.
It was like I'd been in a caraccident.
Speaker 2 (36:53):
Yeah, I sat on the sofa like I am old so what I've
learnt from this is to not go tothe gym, and I'm very happy to
abide by that.
So thank you for that words ofwisdom right there anyway
podcast is we to come back?
Speaker 1 (37:07):
and we wanted to say hello, release this episode,
particularly it being pridemonth, and wish you all a very
happy pride month yes, and wewill be back fully every week,
us two in your ears, with seasonsix.
Speaker 2 (37:21):
So this is just a little teaser, just to let you
know what we've been up to, letyou all know that we are alive
and well and we're very, veryexcited to start recording again
full time and, as benji said,have the best best pride.
Speaker 1 (37:34):
Yeah, and the best thing about season six is that
one of the main reasons we'vecome to this studio is, a
because we can film in the sameroom and, b so we can get some
video content with our guests.
So we have some incredibleguests hopefully coming up into
season six and, uh, we're veryexcited to show you what we've
got coming up.
But, podcasters, that is all wehave time for on this week's
episode of my big gay podcast.
As always, please head over toour instagram it's at big gay
(37:55):
podcast, or you can send us anemail with your funny stories,
especially if you're at hoop andyou have more to hello at my
big gay podcastcom and whereveryou are celebrating pride in the
world.
Speaker 2 (38:05):
Happy pride month.
Get those pictures, get ustagging in.
We want to see what you're upto and we'll be back in your
ears.
As I say weekly, very, verysoon.
Speaker 1 (38:13):
But like I said, that's all we have time for on
this week's episode, until nexttime see you next season so,
brad, you know, we've covered acouple of acronyms today, like
fwb being friends with benefitsyes, and I've learned ff what
that means don it again.
We know, I've got another onefor you.
Oh, go on.
G-b-m-d-y-b-b.
Speaker 2 (38:34):
Okay, I'm going to have to write this down and
figure this out, g-b.
Speaker 1 (38:38):
G-B-M-D-Y-B-B.
Speaker 2 (38:41):
Goodbye, my darling young brat no.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
Give back my dungarees, you basic bitch.
I'm serious, thank you.
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