August 21, 2024 • 16 mins
Get in touch! Drop Benji and Brad a text message by clicking on this link.
Ever wondered how to effortlessly make queer friends in a bustling metropolis like London? Tune in to our latest episode where we unlock the secrets to forging meaningful connections within the vibrant LGBTQ+ community. From the thrill of joining a gay rugby team to the intellectual haven of Gaze the Word bookshop, we've got tips that cater to every interest. Picture yourself part of impromptu sports games at Clapham Common or enjoying a drag show featuring the fabulous Chanel Number 5. Whether you're a sports enthusiast or a literary buff, we share personal anecdotes that will inspire you to step out and make new friends.
Navigating friendships isn't always smooth sailing, and sometimes, saying goodbye is necessary for your well-being. In this episode, we also tackle the often-overlooked subject of friend breakups—how to handle them gracefully and maintain a positive outlook. Our candid discussions about the emotional complexities involved offer practical advice and a dash of humor, especially when considering the unique dynamics of maintaining professional relationships in podcasting. Whether you're new to the city or looking to expand your social circle, this episode offers an invaluable guide to forming lasting connections within London’s LGBTQ+ scene.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Thanks for watching.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Hello and welcome to my big gay podcast with me,
Benji.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
And me, Brad, giving you the life, the loves and lols
of living in London Two gays,one city.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
What could possibly go wrong?
Sorry, I was trying to beat youon that one.
Yes, podcasters, today we aretackling the most popular
question that we get into ourDMs and our emails, which is how
do you make friends in London?
Speaker 1 (00:59):
We had this question come up all the time and of
course we try and message backand we give bits of advice.
But we thought why don't we dolike an episode about it and
then we can direct people tothat episode all the facts and
the figures information oneplace facts, figures, receipts,
screenshots, timeline, the lotit's all there.
so the question is how do youmake queer friends in london?
Now, of course, I feel likethis question could be applied
(01:21):
to any city, possibly in theworld, or you know most of the
world, and obviously we'll stalkspecifically about London.
That's our experience.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
We're going to stalk about London.
We're going to stalk.
You need to stop drinking, hon.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
We had a cocktail before this episode and, yeah, I
feel a bit giddy.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
But yeah, so we're going to try and answer your
questions as much as we can.
Now, the main reason we'redoing this is one whole episode
all in itself is so we can giveus a bit more airtime to really
sort of give ideas for everybody.
But also, if you are listeningto this and maybe you have some
single friends and people havejust gone through breakups or
have just moved to a city ormoved away from you, you can
send them this episode, let themhave a listen and maybe they'll
(01:58):
be able to find some queerfriends in whatever location
they're in.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
And I think we're quite lucky being in London.
I not being biased, I do thinkit's one of the best cities in
the whole world.
Greatest city in the world,absolutely.
It is In the greatest city inthe world, in the greatest city
in the world and, of course,there's loads of queer things to
do everywhere in London, right,so we do have it at our
(02:22):
fingertips, so to speak, andthere's lots going on.
Now, of course, if you're in aslightly smaller city or a town
might not have as much, butobviously we're going to talk
about London and what you can dohere to make new friends.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Absolutely so.
What is the first on our listfor today, Brad?
Speaker 1 (02:35):
Well, the first one I can't believe we're going to go
straight in with this is sports.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Oh, wow.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
Now I know that's not for you or necessarily for me,
but there are loads of queersports groups in London.
I can't believe it.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Now you say it's not for me, but a little fact that
you may find a little bit hardto believe or difficult to
swallow.
Not that you normally find itdifficult to swallow is.
I actually am quite sporty.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
In what field?
Speaker 2 (03:05):
When I lived out of London shooting clay pigeon,
shooting Right Archery.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
I can't see you as an archer.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Badminton.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
I can see you as a badminton player.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Tennis.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Yeah, I can see that.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Those four I was really good at.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Oh squash.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
I did squash, I dabbled in squash, but actually
it scared me quite a lot.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
I think that's when.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
I love.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
But not with squash.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
Not just that singular ball being whipped at
my face back and forth.
No, thank you.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Yeah, so I'm actually okay with sports and I should
really join more.
I have looked at a few, sosomething that we're going to
sort of talk about today is whenwe worked with Pride in London,
we saw so many different sportsteams marching to sort of
promote themselves From theswimming team, which were very
cleverly blanded, so theydefinitely were not bland.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
She's had a cocktail as well.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Very cleverly branded , as they marched the entire
thing in their speedos.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
I know I mean caught our eyes, didn't it had my
attention?
I was straight off that podium,walking over jaw on the floor.
What kind is?
Speaker 2 (04:06):
this, Sorry.
Where do I sign up?
I?
Speaker 1 (04:08):
love the outfit, but I mean they literally have every
sport you can think of Gayrugby.
I actually went on a few dateswith one of the gay rugby
players before.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
Gay football team, which actually a good friend of
ours, the drag gardener playswith yes.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
There's loads of them , so if you are massively into
sports, you'll be able to find asports club that has a
gay-friendly or queer-friendlyversion of that sport.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
For sure.
Friendly version of that sport,for sure, and listen.
In a world where we have socialmedia at our fingertips, it's
very easy just to open yourbrowser and search for any sort
of sport team near you.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
Put the word gay in there, queer, lgbt, whatever you
like, and I'm sure you'll findsomewhere near you yeah, well, I
actually went on a few dateswith someone who plays for one
of the gay football teams andthey all play each other in
tournaments, so obviouslythey're all making friends with
the other teams all aroundLondon.
But the one thing I would sayabout the you know the sport,
specifically the football, isthey have specific training
(05:00):
sessions.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
So when I went on this, date with this guy.
He was like can't have lateones on a Saturday because I
have training every Sunday andyou're like well, sorry, 3 am on
a.
Saturday.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
I do the Megamix in Brewers to High School Musical
and are you going to be watching?
No, because you're going to bein bed ready for training.
Watching going, I tap that.
No, you're not.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
No, you're not because you're going to be in
bed and ready for footballtraining, having just sliced
your orange slices, ready forinterval interval.
Is it an interval?
Speaker 1 (05:24):
no, half time, half time, half time, there we go
yeah, so that comes with thiswhole like schedule calendar
world as well.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
It's a commitment.
It it's a commitment and, aswe've established, I'm not good
with those.
But listen, if sport is not foryou, there are other clubs that
you can join If you like gaming.
There actually is a group inLondon called Gamers.
Now they specialise in youguessed it gaming.
This can be anything from boardgames to Mario Kart, nintendo
(05:52):
Classics, so computer games toboard games, to mario kart,
nintendo classics, um, so likecomputer games, to board games,
to card games.
They meet, I think it's everyother week, uh, in london.
You have to research them foryourself and it's just a really
fun, sociable event.
Now I've not been yet, I doplan to go.
I've got some friends that goand they said loads of people go
by themselves yeah um, so whenyou go, if you go by yourself,
just remember a lot of otherpeople have gone by themselves
as well and they've just satdown and they've joined in a
(06:13):
game and that's such a goodicebreaker because you're like,
oh, fancy a game of Mario Kart.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Cool, let's do it a game of what Mario Kart?
Yeah, mario Kart, it's thatcocktail.
What was in that cocktail?
Speaker 2 (06:22):
you made it, honey you made it, but yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
Mario Kart love Mario Kart.
I someone that played thatquite a lot.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Yeah, do you remember ?
We went to that pool party lastyear?
Yes, and they had Mario Kart.
Yes, they were like winnerstays on.
I was like, well, get me comfy,I'm here for the long run, I'm
here for the long run.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Another thing that you might be into is anything
like performance related.
Now, obviously, benji and Icome from a bit of that world
events entertainment.
The theatre, the theatre,darling, uh.
But you know there's lots ofamdram groups in, well I guess
everywhere, right, I rememberdoing amdram in my little small
town where I grew up.
Yeah, so I feel like every townand of course london has loads
will have an amdram group.
If you're into a little bit ofperformance, whether that's on
(07:02):
stage or backstage, you knoweveryone is part of that big
community, and not only that,there's all the different dance
groups and things as well.
We had david alwood come onhere before who runs Homo Parody
.
They're a dance group from sortof beginner to advanced and
they do shows kind of all acrossLondon and prides and things
you know.
So if that is your thing, greatopportunity to make friends and
(07:23):
perform and do what you lovedoing.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Yeah, like where you live, like I'm sure there is
like a community centre or evenlike a church hall and and
they'll have so many posters upLike just wander past, have a
look, I'm sure you'll findsomething that you know wets
your whistle.
I don't know where that camefrom.
Wet your whistle.
You get that whistle wet honey.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
Now, another thing that you might be into is books.
Right, who loves a good story?
I love a good story.
Do you love a good story?
Little town, it's a quietvillage.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
Yeah, I do, but I'm more of an audiobook kind of gal
.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Right, fine.
But if you're more into likethe hardcover stuff, if you like
it hard you can go to bookclubs.
In London Now there is a reallyfamous bookshop called Gaze the
Word.
It's been around for years andI actually had a little look on
their website prior to thisepisode just to see what, if
they do like community groups,they've got a whole page of
community things that they dofor people that love reading
(08:12):
books.
Lovely, lovely.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
I just I can't concentrate, I can't read books,
I really can't.
I have tried so many times butit's just not for me, but
hopefully it is for you.
Something else that I thinkcould be sort of relaxing if
maybe you're more nervous tomake friends is wherever you
live.
I'm sure nearby there is likeparks or recreational grounds,
let's say Now near us, us, we'revery lucky, we've got Clapham
Common.
But if you live more northyou've got like Hampstead Heath.
(08:36):
Now I'm not just namingcruising grounds, but these are
places where a lot of sort ofgay cultured crowds hang out.
And I've been to Clapham Commonand I've seen like somebody
will bring a ball and they'llstand up, they'll put some bags,
make some random goals andthey'll just have a kick about
(08:57):
and random people will just comejoin.
Yeah, that is a great way justto make friends, sure, even if
you've got skills, just be theref, be the goal post or the
score person sure the ballwasher.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
Yeah, fun story.
Meet them in the showers, itdoesn't matter when I was at
school, I hated sports so much,right, and we had to play
cricket as a as a sport and Ijust was so against it and I was
the position.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
Against it, against it.
I just didn't want to do it.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
So when it was cricket season, it was like, oh
God, we don't play.
So I volunteered myself to be12th man.
Now, if you know cricket, youknow what I'm on about, but if
you don't know cricket, 12th manis you, are the reserve, you're
.
So I learned how to playcricket in terms of keeping the
score, so that I could do allthe scores on the board, apart
from one time when part of theteam yeah, they were like, oh,
(09:39):
someone's injured.
The 12th man's got to come on.
Fuck my fucking life, did youdo it?
I think I got out straight away.
You know, like when it hits thewicket, it didn't even hit the
ball.
Ah.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
Yeah, screamed.
A, b, a, B.
Oh, my goodness, I cannotimagine you playing a script.
Yeah, anyway, the last one fromme would be drag events.
Oh, yes, so if you're out andabout, if you see a drag queen
appearing at any pub, bar club,outdoor brunch, whatever it
might be, go along to it.
You're definitely going to bumpinto other like-minded people
(10:10):
like yourself and they willdefinitely be the sort of crowd
that can, uh, sort of help youfeel at home.
Recently we posted on instagramabout going to chanel number
five's bingo in clapham.
Now I've seen before people goby themselves and she's actually
go.
She'll go up and talk to them,not on the microphone, and just
sort of say are you playing likewho you're here with?
And if they'll by yourself,she'll make you feel so at home
and comfortable.
And if she knows other peoplein the room that won't mind
(10:33):
having an extra person join andyou feel comfortable, she'll
pair you up with other friendsas well.
So that's a really, really goodshout.
Drag queens are sort of thebeacon of gays.
If you see them performing, gowatch.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
And not only that.
For me personally I've actuallymade friends dating, so on the
apps met someone got on reallywell.
Hasn't gone romantically inthat direction.
Did they ghost you?
One or two might have ghostedme in the past and obviously
that is how Benji and I becamefriends was we went on a date
originally years ago.
Didn't work out that way.
(11:03):
You know he's still upset aboutit even till today, bless him.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Tell the truth.
Tell the truth about to dragyou by what's left of your hair
across this floor.
Tell the truth.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
Yeah, you ghosted me Rude hair across this floor.
Tell the truth.
Yeah, you ghosted me rude and Icalled you out about it and you
apologized and now we'refriends.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
I don't remember being fully that way, but I'll
allow that to happen.
Yeah, but dating is a reallygood way.
I mean, personally, I don't.
You were the only person I'veever dated that I've remained
friends with, but that's.
That's so fine.
It didn't work for me, but itdid work for you and well it has
worked for us.
Um, but yeah, these are sort oflike our top tips for making
friends in london.
Now, I know that we'vementioned some london places,
but any sort of these categorieswill be transferable to places
that you're in, I'm sure.
Even if it's a slight driveaway it's like train away, right
(11:42):
.
Have a look and if you are inany locations and you need help
finding places to go, etc.
Get in touch.
Give us an email, write to ourdms.
We will do all we can to tryand do a shout out on the
Instagram and see if anyone elseis in your area that is looking
to make friends and not onlythat.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
There are groups specifically for gay community
gay social groups I'm part of acouple that are obviously London
based.
Someone runs them and they dolike group events to the theatre
or museums, etc, etc.
And that is where you just signup, you go and you get to meet
loads of people Amazing.
So check out some of those inyour area as well.
And we've started to go toplaces, to make little reels of
(12:19):
places that we go to so that ifyou're looking for somewhere to
go, either on a date or to gomeet friends, we are there for
you.
We're making it happen.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
That's right.
We've mentioned it before in anepisode.
It's called Out in London, likeyou know, being out and gay but
being out and about in London.
So if you've been anywhere thatyou've made friends and you
want to share it sort of withthe world, get in touch with us,
let us know and we will try andvisit there and make a little
reel to sort of show people whatit's like before they get there
.
Because I understand thatInstagram sometimes the website
doesn't really show you what thevenue is or what the vibe is or
(12:46):
what sort of like gays etcmight be there.
I know I've been put off bycertain uh nights such as like
Feel it and Roast, because Ijust feel like I might not fit
in.
But I don't know, I'm justgoing by social media.
So we're going to try and breakthat a little bit for you.
So, yeah, if you've beenanywhere fun that you think we
should go, please write in andlet us know.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Well, I feel like we've covered loads of ground
there and so hopefully that'sbeen informative for you.
To kind of go out there Now,the one thing that you have to
do is put yourself out there,which is really hard.
I totally get that, especiallyif you're not quite as confident
as being able to sign up tothese groups or put yourself in
those positions yeah, and justremember, keep yourself in a
really comfortable zone foryourself.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
You can leave at any point.
If you go to any of theseyou're like this is just not for
me, I feel too nervous, justleave and tell them the next day
and if you feel like you couldgive it another go, I'm sure the
organiser will be very familiarwith people coming along and
not necessarily feelingcomfortable for them and helping
them sort of ease their wayinto it or suggest other things.
So just be honest just be open.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
What do you like to do, what are your hobbies, what
are your interests?
Speaker 2 (13:57):
And I bet you there is a queer group of people that
have the same interests as youFor sure, but podcasters, that
is all we have time for on thisvery special little episode
about going out in London.
If you have anything else tosay, if you have any questions,
locations you want us to visitor our TikTok which is at Big
Gay Podcast.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
And, of course, we love hearing from you we say
this every week, but we actuallygenerally do so.
If you've got anything that youwant us to talk about on the
podcast, or if you've got yourown queer diary, like this
question that we had come in, wewill answer that for you on the
podcast and make it happen.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
And if you have any success stories about going out
and making friends, let us knowas well.
We love a good happy ending.
Sorry, but podcasters, like Isaid, that's all we have time
for in this week's episode of myBig Gay Podcast.
Until next time, see you next.
Wednesday.
So, brad, you know we'vediscussed about, like, how to
make friends.
Uh-huh.
I wonder if there's like anyadvice that we could try and get
(14:46):
for ourselves of how to likeget rid of friends.
Why are you looking at me whenyou say that, like, how do you
tell someone that you're sick todeath of being contractually
obliged to make podcast episodes?
This feels like a very loadedquestion I have no idea what
you're talking about why are youdouble blinking at me, miss?
(15:07):
Benji, thank you.
Thanks for watching.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Hello and welcome to my big gay podcast with me,
Benji.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
And me, Brad, giving you the life, the loves and lols
of living in London Two gays,one city.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
What could possibly go wrong?
Sorry, I was trying to beat youon that one.
Yes, podcasters, today we aretackling the most popular
question that we get into ourDMs and our emails, which is how
do you make friends in London?
Speaker 1 (00:59):
We had this question come up all the time and of
course we try and message backand we give bits of advice.
But we thought why don't we dolike an episode about it and
then we can direct people tothat episode all the facts and
the figures information oneplace facts, figures, receipts,
screenshots, timeline, the lotit's all there.
so the question is how do youmake queer friends in london?
Now, of course, I feel likethis question could be applied
(01:21):
to any city, possibly in theworld, or you know most of the
world, and obviously we'll stalkspecifically about London.
That's our experience.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
We're going to stalk about London.
We're going to stalk.
You need to stop drinking, hon.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
We had a cocktail before this episode and, yeah, I
feel a bit giddy.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
But yeah, so we're going to try and answer your
questions as much as we can.
Now, the main reason we'redoing this is one whole episode
all in itself is so we can giveus a bit more airtime to really
sort of give ideas for everybody.
But also, if you are listeningto this and maybe you have some
single friends and people havejust gone through breakups or
have just moved to a city ormoved away from you, you can
send them this episode, let themhave a listen and maybe they'll
(01:58):
be able to find some queerfriends in whatever location
they're in.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
And I think we're quite lucky being in London.
I not being biased, I do thinkit's one of the best cities in
the whole world.
Greatest city in the world,absolutely.
It is In the greatest city inthe world, in the greatest city
in the world and, of course,there's loads of queer things to
do everywhere in London, right,so we do have it at our
(02:22):
fingertips, so to speak, andthere's lots going on.
Now, of course, if you're in aslightly smaller city or a town
might not have as much, butobviously we're going to talk
about London and what you can dohere to make new friends.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Absolutely so.
What is the first on our listfor today, Brad?
Speaker 1 (02:35):
Well, the first one I can't believe we're going to go
straight in with this is sports.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Oh, wow.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
Now I know that's not for you or necessarily for me,
but there are loads of queersports groups in London.
I can't believe it.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Now you say it's not for me, but a little fact that
you may find a little bit hardto believe or difficult to
swallow.
Not that you normally find itdifficult to swallow is.
I actually am quite sporty.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
In what field?
Speaker 2 (03:05):
When I lived out of London shooting clay pigeon,
shooting Right Archery.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
I can't see you as an archer.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Badminton.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
I can see you as a badminton player.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Tennis.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Yeah, I can see that.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Those four I was really good at.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Oh squash.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
I did squash, I dabbled in squash, but actually
it scared me quite a lot.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
I think that's when.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
I love.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
But not with squash.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
Not just that singular ball being whipped at
my face back and forth.
No, thank you.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Yeah, so I'm actually okay with sports and I should
really join more.
I have looked at a few, sosomething that we're going to
sort of talk about today is whenwe worked with Pride in London,
we saw so many different sportsteams marching to sort of
promote themselves From theswimming team, which were very
cleverly blanded, so theydefinitely were not bland.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
She's had a cocktail as well.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Very cleverly branded , as they marched the entire
thing in their speedos.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
I know I mean caught our eyes, didn't it had my
attention?
I was straight off that podium,walking over jaw on the floor.
What kind is?
Speaker 2 (04:06):
this, Sorry.
Where do I sign up?
I?
Speaker 1 (04:08):
love the outfit, but I mean they literally have every
sport you can think of Gayrugby.
I actually went on a few dateswith one of the gay rugby
players before.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
Gay football team, which actually a good friend of
ours, the drag gardener playswith yes.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
There's loads of them , so if you are massively into
sports, you'll be able to find asports club that has a
gay-friendly or queer-friendlyversion of that sport.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
For sure.
Friendly version of that sport,for sure, and listen.
In a world where we have socialmedia at our fingertips, it's
very easy just to open yourbrowser and search for any sort
of sport team near you.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
Put the word gay in there, queer, lgbt, whatever you
like, and I'm sure you'll findsomewhere near you yeah, well, I
actually went on a few dateswith someone who plays for one
of the gay football teams andthey all play each other in
tournaments, so obviouslythey're all making friends with
the other teams all aroundLondon.
But the one thing I would sayabout the you know the sport,
specifically the football, isthey have specific training
(05:00):
sessions.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
So when I went on this, date with this guy.
He was like can't have lateones on a Saturday because I
have training every Sunday andyou're like well, sorry, 3 am on
a.
Saturday.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
I do the Megamix in Brewers to High School Musical
and are you going to be watching?
No, because you're going to bein bed ready for training.
Watching going, I tap that.
No, you're not.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
No, you're not because you're going to be in
bed and ready for footballtraining, having just sliced
your orange slices, ready forinterval interval.
Is it an interval?
Speaker 1 (05:24):
no, half time, half time, half time, there we go
yeah, so that comes with thiswhole like schedule calendar
world as well.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
It's a commitment.
It it's a commitment and, aswe've established, I'm not good
with those.
But listen, if sport is not foryou, there are other clubs that
you can join If you like gaming.
There actually is a group inLondon called Gamers.
Now they specialise in youguessed it gaming.
This can be anything from boardgames to Mario Kart, nintendo
(05:52):
Classics, so computer games toboard games, to mario kart,
nintendo classics, um, so likecomputer games, to board games,
to card games.
They meet, I think it's everyother week, uh, in london.
You have to research them foryourself and it's just a really
fun, sociable event.
Now I've not been yet, I doplan to go.
I've got some friends that goand they said loads of people go
by themselves yeah um, so whenyou go, if you go by yourself,
just remember a lot of otherpeople have gone by themselves
as well and they've just satdown and they've joined in a
(06:13):
game and that's such a goodicebreaker because you're like,
oh, fancy a game of Mario Kart.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Cool, let's do it a game of what Mario Kart?
Yeah, mario Kart, it's thatcocktail.
What was in that cocktail?
Speaker 2 (06:22):
you made it, honey you made it, but yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
Mario Kart love Mario Kart.
I someone that played thatquite a lot.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Yeah, do you remember ?
We went to that pool party lastyear?
Yes, and they had Mario Kart.
Yes, they were like winnerstays on.
I was like, well, get me comfy,I'm here for the long run, I'm
here for the long run.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Another thing that you might be into is anything
like performance related.
Now, obviously, benji and Icome from a bit of that world
events entertainment.
The theatre, the theatre,darling, uh.
But you know there's lots ofamdram groups in, well I guess
everywhere, right, I rememberdoing amdram in my little small
town where I grew up.
Yeah, so I feel like every townand of course london has loads
will have an amdram group.
If you're into a little bit ofperformance, whether that's on
(07:02):
stage or backstage, you knoweveryone is part of that big
community, and not only that,there's all the different dance
groups and things as well.
We had david alwood come onhere before who runs Homo Parody
.
They're a dance group from sortof beginner to advanced and
they do shows kind of all acrossLondon and prides and things
you know.
So if that is your thing, greatopportunity to make friends and
(07:23):
perform and do what you lovedoing.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Yeah, like where you live, like I'm sure there is
like a community centre or evenlike a church hall and and
they'll have so many posters upLike just wander past, have a
look, I'm sure you'll findsomething that you know wets
your whistle.
I don't know where that camefrom.
Wet your whistle.
You get that whistle wet honey.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
Now, another thing that you might be into is books.
Right, who loves a good story?
I love a good story.
Do you love a good story?
Little town, it's a quietvillage.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
Yeah, I do, but I'm more of an audiobook kind of gal
.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Right, fine.
But if you're more into likethe hardcover stuff, if you like
it hard you can go to bookclubs.
In London Now there is a reallyfamous bookshop called Gaze the
Word.
It's been around for years andI actually had a little look on
their website prior to thisepisode just to see what, if
they do like community groups,they've got a whole page of
community things that they dofor people that love reading
(08:12):
books.
Lovely, lovely.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
I just I can't concentrate, I can't read books,
I really can't.
I have tried so many times butit's just not for me, but
hopefully it is for you.
Something else that I thinkcould be sort of relaxing if
maybe you're more nervous tomake friends is wherever you
live.
I'm sure nearby there is likeparks or recreational grounds,
let's say Now near us, us, we'revery lucky, we've got Clapham
Common.
But if you live more northyou've got like Hampstead Heath.
(08:36):
Now I'm not just namingcruising grounds, but these are
places where a lot of sort ofgay cultured crowds hang out.
And I've been to Clapham Commonand I've seen like somebody
will bring a ball and they'llstand up, they'll put some bags,
make some random goals andthey'll just have a kick about
(08:57):
and random people will just comejoin.
Yeah, that is a great way justto make friends, sure, even if
you've got skills, just be theref, be the goal post or the
score person sure the ballwasher.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
Yeah, fun story.
Meet them in the showers, itdoesn't matter when I was at
school, I hated sports so much,right, and we had to play
cricket as a as a sport and Ijust was so against it and I was
the position.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
Against it, against it.
I just didn't want to do it.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
So when it was cricket season, it was like, oh
God, we don't play.
So I volunteered myself to be12th man.
Now, if you know cricket, youknow what I'm on about, but if
you don't know cricket, 12th manis you, are the reserve, you're
.
So I learned how to playcricket in terms of keeping the
score, so that I could do allthe scores on the board, apart
from one time when part of theteam yeah, they were like, oh,
(09:39):
someone's injured.
The 12th man's got to come on.
Fuck my fucking life, did youdo it?
I think I got out straight away.
You know, like when it hits thewicket, it didn't even hit the
ball.
Ah.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
Yeah, screamed.
A, b, a, B.
Oh, my goodness, I cannotimagine you playing a script.
Yeah, anyway, the last one fromme would be drag events.
Oh, yes, so if you're out andabout, if you see a drag queen
appearing at any pub, bar club,outdoor brunch, whatever it
might be, go along to it.
You're definitely going to bumpinto other like-minded people
(10:10):
like yourself and they willdefinitely be the sort of crowd
that can, uh, sort of help youfeel at home.
Recently we posted on instagramabout going to chanel number
five's bingo in clapham.
Now I've seen before people goby themselves and she's actually
go.
She'll go up and talk to them,not on the microphone, and just
sort of say are you playing likewho you're here with?
And if they'll by yourself,she'll make you feel so at home
and comfortable.
And if she knows other peoplein the room that won't mind
(10:33):
having an extra person join andyou feel comfortable, she'll
pair you up with other friendsas well.
So that's a really, really goodshout.
Drag queens are sort of thebeacon of gays.
If you see them performing, gowatch.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
And not only that.
For me personally I've actuallymade friends dating, so on the
apps met someone got on reallywell.
Hasn't gone romantically inthat direction.
Did they ghost you?
One or two might have ghostedme in the past and obviously
that is how Benji and I becamefriends was we went on a date
originally years ago.
Didn't work out that way.
(11:03):
You know he's still upset aboutit even till today, bless him.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Tell the truth.
Tell the truth about to dragyou by what's left of your hair
across this floor.
Tell the truth.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
Yeah, you ghosted me Rude hair across this floor.
Tell the truth.
Yeah, you ghosted me rude and Icalled you out about it and you
apologized and now we'refriends.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
I don't remember being fully that way, but I'll
allow that to happen.
Yeah, but dating is a reallygood way.
I mean, personally, I don't.
You were the only person I'veever dated that I've remained
friends with, but that's.
That's so fine.
It didn't work for me, but itdid work for you and well it has
worked for us.
Um, but yeah, these are sort oflike our top tips for making
friends in london.
Now, I know that we'vementioned some london places,
but any sort of these categorieswill be transferable to places
that you're in, I'm sure.
Even if it's a slight driveaway it's like train away, right
(11:42):
.
Have a look and if you are inany locations and you need help
finding places to go, etc.
Get in touch.
Give us an email, write to ourdms.
We will do all we can to tryand do a shout out on the
Instagram and see if anyone elseis in your area that is looking
to make friends and not onlythat.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
There are groups specifically for gay community
gay social groups I'm part of acouple that are obviously London
based.
Someone runs them and they dolike group events to the theatre
or museums, etc, etc.
And that is where you just signup, you go and you get to meet
loads of people Amazing.
So check out some of those inyour area as well.
And we've started to go toplaces, to make little reels of
(12:19):
places that we go to so that ifyou're looking for somewhere to
go, either on a date or to gomeet friends, we are there for
you.
We're making it happen.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
That's right.
We've mentioned it before in anepisode.
It's called Out in London, likeyou know, being out and gay but
being out and about in London.
So if you've been anywhere thatyou've made friends and you
want to share it sort of withthe world, get in touch with us,
let us know and we will try andvisit there and make a little
reel to sort of show people whatit's like before they get there
.
Because I understand thatInstagram sometimes the website
doesn't really show you what thevenue is or what the vibe is or
(12:46):
what sort of like gays etcmight be there.
I know I've been put off bycertain uh nights such as like
Feel it and Roast, because Ijust feel like I might not fit
in.
But I don't know, I'm justgoing by social media.
So we're going to try and breakthat a little bit for you.
So, yeah, if you've beenanywhere fun that you think we
should go, please write in andlet us know.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Well, I feel like we've covered loads of ground
there and so hopefully that'sbeen informative for you.
To kind of go out there Now,the one thing that you have to
do is put yourself out there,which is really hard.
I totally get that, especiallyif you're not quite as confident
as being able to sign up tothese groups or put yourself in
those positions yeah, and justremember, keep yourself in a
really comfortable zone foryourself.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
You can leave at any point.
If you go to any of theseyou're like this is just not for
me, I feel too nervous, justleave and tell them the next day
and if you feel like you couldgive it another go, I'm sure the
organiser will be very familiarwith people coming along and
not necessarily feelingcomfortable for them and helping
them sort of ease their wayinto it or suggest other things.
So just be honest just be open.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
What do you like to do, what are your hobbies, what
are your interests?
Speaker 2 (13:57):
And I bet you there is a queer group of people that
have the same interests as youFor sure, but podcasters, that
is all we have time for on thisvery special little episode
about going out in London.
If you have anything else tosay, if you have any questions,
locations you want us to visitor our TikTok which is at Big
Gay Podcast.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
And, of course, we love hearing from you we say
this every week, but we actuallygenerally do so.
If you've got anything that youwant us to talk about on the
podcast, or if you've got yourown queer diary, like this
question that we had come in, wewill answer that for you on the
podcast and make it happen.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
And if you have any success stories about going out
and making friends, let us knowas well.
We love a good happy ending.
Sorry, but podcasters, like Isaid, that's all we have time
for in this week's episode of myBig Gay Podcast.
Until next time, see you next.
Wednesday.
So, brad, you know we'vediscussed about, like, how to
make friends.
Uh-huh.
I wonder if there's like anyadvice that we could try and get
(14:46):
for ourselves of how to likeget rid of friends.
Why are you looking at me whenyou say that, like, how do you
tell someone that you're sick todeath of being contractually
obliged to make podcast episodes?
This feels like a very loadedquestion I have no idea what
you're talking about why are youdouble blinking at me, miss?
(15:07):
Benji, thank you.
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