June 21, 2024 • 30 mins
In this episode, John and Anthony discuss the importance of open, respectful conversations in a world increasingly divided by differing beliefs. Anthony shares the inspiration behind his innovative clothing brand aimed at making the elegant sport of croquet appealing to a younger audience while fostering memorable moments with loved ones.
In a deeply reflective segment, they discuss personal experiences with loss and how faith serves as a foundation for resilience. From the emotional impact of miscarriages to the therapeutic nature of creative outlets like poetry and visual storytelling, they explore various ways of coping with grief. They also address the dual nature of social media, recognizing both its potential for harm, especially for the younger generation, and its ability to offer support. Wrapping up, they highlight the importance of hope and faith, confident that these elements provide the strength needed to overcome adversity. Join us for a heartfelt conversation filled with diverse perspectives and exciting future discussions.
Anthony's Clothing Brand
Croquet by Anthony Alexander
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to the my Friend the Friar podcast and
thanks for listening.
If you like my Friend the Friarand want to support us, please
consider subscribing orfollowing us if you haven't
already done so, and if youfound us on YouTube then, don't
forget to click the notificationbell when you subscribe, so
you'll be notified of newepisodes when they release.
Thanks again and God bless.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Bonus episode yeah, cough I don't know what this is.
Thanks again and God bless it'slike super chocolate.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Whatever this thing is, I'm gonna be wired for the
rest of the day for real.
Yeah, that will wire you forthe rest of the day.
Probably all the sugar, oh, gotyou combination of it, man, so
what's?
Speaker 2 (00:56):
going on with the, with the clothing brand man and
what?
Speaker 1 (00:57):
and what's the name of it?
Speaker 2 (00:59):
it's croquet anthony alexander all right, uh, I mean.
So, right now I'm just in theprocess of, like I told you
before, not trying to rebrand,but definitely trying to uh
figure out the next move, as, inreaching, um, the individuals
that I'm trying to reach, whichis the croquet association,
right, um, they have a thing towhere they're really trying to
(01:19):
promote the sport more to ayounger audience, and my thing
is like yo, what other way to doit better than through clothing
, which is not the reason why Istarted it, but I believe that
my concept would definitely helpum generate, uh, more young
people to kind of like crossover into the sport because of
fashion or clothing yeah, right,well, and I think you were
(01:40):
saying the other day um, it'sabout because it's not like the
most intense sport ever right,no, no, so it's about spending
time with the people that youcare about and making those
memories and stuff like that andthat speaks back to your son.
Yeah exactly, Creating memorieslasts for eternity.
That's kind of like the slogan,right?
So for me, when me and Heidiplayed for the first time, I
(02:01):
enjoyed it and I'm like you knowwhat this for?
Speaker 1 (02:09):
the first time I enjoyed it and I'm like you know
what.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
This would be kind of exciting if we were able to
play with the children and thenthat can be like our favorite
pastime, like we can grow up.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
Let's go to the lake, let's play croquet.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
Yeah, you know I mean .
So I'm kind of taking it andkind of putting it in my own
image, outside of what everyoneis used to seeing.
A lot of people still, to thisday, don't even know what
croquet is.
When I ask him, like croquet,oh yeah, uh, crockett, crockett,
oh, crochet, crochet.
I know croquet.
Oh, nah, what is that?
And I'm like you know what.
This is a way for me to againintroduce it in in the creative
(02:35):
way that I see the sport, youknow I mean.
So I thought about one dayhaving you yeah me and like two
of my other friends.
As you know, males go down tothe lake.
Let's just chill, talk.
Let's male bond and playcroquet.
You know I mean let's eat howdo you?
Speaker 1 (02:51):
how do you set up the , the, the field, how do you set
it?
I?
Speaker 2 (02:55):
mean well it's.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
I mean I couldn't, I couldn't tell you, I could show
you yeah, you feel me like youpull a picture up and show you
exactly how it is, but it's justare there like rules to how
it's supposed to be set upproperly?
Speaker 2 (03:04):
definitely it's multiple rules, but they have
multiple ways you can playcroquet.
You have non-wicked uh, whichis like more of the professional
competitive style croquet.
Then you have backyard croquet,which is what everyone is kind
of used to yeah you know I meanso.
Depending on which one you'replaying will determine the rule
set um that you'll use.
You know I mean so.
If we're playing like justrecreational purpose, it's super
(03:27):
easy.
You know, I mean like you can'tget lost in it, you can't suck,
I don't think yeah, I just havefun, yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
Yeah, I was just kind of cool because that's like the
worst when you're, when you'reuh bowling, as an example, if I
try to bowl, I'm terrible yeah,if I just go have fun like I
might be all right.
I'm still not gonna be any goodbut, there's something that
when I'm trying it all fallsapart.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
It's like me playing tennis I I don't.
I can't play tennis.
I can, I can bowl, I canbasketball, football, but tennis
nah golf, I'm not.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
I'm not golfing either, yeah, yeah I don't see
myself doing that that's funny.
So what kind of?
So you started it for your son.
Yeah, is there a specific likeis it?
Are you moving it more towardsathletic-y kind of gear, or is
it more like comfy cozy aroundthe house, like hoodies,
(04:16):
sweaters, as of?
Speaker 2 (04:17):
right now it's more lounge wear, I would say, things
you can wear around the houseto the grocery store, but
eventually I do have multiplelines within it that will kind
of transition into differentareas of life.
So, yeah, you will have theathletic wear if you want to
play croquet the way that theprofessionals play.
You know what I mean.
So it won't be like a Nike, likeyou know, a sweat resistant you
(04:40):
know what I mean, but it willbe based on yeah, how you and
drip, you know, I mean, but itwill be based on, yeah, how you
know, the croquet world needsathletic gear.
Uh, then you will have thecorporate, you know, the oxford
shirts, um, the chinos and stufflike that, as time progresses.
I mean, that's the plan and thevision, um, but I've already
created, man, so many sub linesalready to where, whenever
everything takes to where itneeds to be, it's a done deal
(05:03):
like everything is just out ofthere.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
That's cool.
You got an online store yet.
Yes, I do, we'll put links inthe show notes and all that
stuff so people can go check itout and stuff like that.
Yeah, appreciate it.
What else has been going on,man?
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Honestly, you've inspired me a little bit to do a
podcast.
What?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, but not inthe podcast traditional way.
Yeah, um, one thing I'm alwaystrying to do is, you know,
create new avenues to brandcroquet uh, and in doing it it's
more like um a group of mensitting down, not in the
(05:39):
atmosphere of microphones and atv.
You know how most podcasts areseen but it's more like let's
just sit down at a table, let'seat, let's have conversations
about topics that kind of meansomething to us in the world
that we're in, but not in thepodcast type way like I can't
(06:02):
really put a finger on itexactly something that's still
brewing but there's somethinglike it's going to be film mixed
in with the podcast foundation,right.
So it's something that'sdifferent.
It's called perspective because,everyone has perspectives on
different levels, and my thingis, when we speak our
perspective, sometimes it cancause an argument because some
people are more like yo.
(06:22):
Well, I believe this.
Okay, well, I believe this andit becomes more about, about.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
Well, I have more facts to back up what I'm saying
.
Yeah, I man, that's somethingthat like I, I, I enjoy
sometimes listening to uh likein christian debates apologetics
, but only as far as I enjoylearning facts no but to me it's
just like they're arguing yeahand I would so much rather.
I, I think and it would be somuch more fruitful if, instead
of having a debate, which Ithink, the debate is more for
(06:51):
the audience than it is for thetwo people.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
I think it would probably be more fruitful if
somebody with different opinions, if you just walked together
for the rest of your life.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
And let one another shape each other right.
There's a Bible verse I can'tremember where it is, but iron
sharpens iron right.
So like let's just walktogether instead of arguing and
I think a lot of people too,especially when you have these
really deep fundamental beliefslike this is the only way.
That's the A to B to C like thisis what it is something comes
(07:29):
in and rocks that you don't knowwhat to do with it no, and so I
I think that's that's a greatidea is just having the ability
to talk to people and hear wherethey're at, because you might
you never know you might saysomething.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
It just opens up their mind a little bit and I
think that's the thing and thewhole concept behind it is
giving you know, people aplatform um to discuss
perspective in a healthy way.
First, let's listen, let'sthink, let's respond.
Don't cut the person off, letthem get it out and don't be
argumentative.
Out of 10 things I say, sevenmay be true to you and you could
(07:56):
take those seven things and youknow what.
That was interesting.
I can see that.
You know what I mean and otherthree things, yo toss them out,
but that, yeah, you know I mean.
Another three things, yo tossthem out, but there's no need to
.
Well, you know what?
That's a lie.
I disagree with that.
I'm watching a show calledjubilee that my homie put me on
and I don't know if you've seenit before.
Yeah, check it out.
And they have one aboutchristians and, um, it's
(08:16):
christians versus atheists,right?
And as they're discussing it,everyone is like mocking each
other.
Like you know, they said Jesuswas hair of wool and black.
Hold on.
Is it LeBron James?
Speaker 1 (08:32):
I'm like yo, like you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
Like when you talk to someone like that about their
belief, it kind of closed themdown Like yo, why are you
mocking?
Speaker 1 (08:40):
what I believe.
Yeah, and there's definitelysomething to listen more than
you speak.
Exactly, you know what I mean.
So, when, and there'sdefinitely something to listen
more than you speak, exactly,you know what I mean so when I
saw that it's more like yo.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
how can we get in the space to where we're able to
really, you know, express how wefeel, but on a level to where
it's like yo, kind of like meand you, how we talk, like if I
person getting in their emotionsand hating me when they walk
away he'll be talking about he'sfull of crap, you know what I'm
saying like no, let's justlearn from one another.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
You know I mean so that's, really my whole idea.
There was this.
There was a when I was back,when I was a coach.
Um, there was this poster inone of the hallways in the
school that said disagreeingdoesn't make you disagreeable.
Yeah, I was like yeah, andthose little kids need to hear
it too, because they're alleverything's like you know when,
when they're little, uh, yeah,man, that's that's, that's,
(09:30):
that's good, that's, I thinksomething and while doing it
everyone will be wearing croquetattire.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
So that's the whole point of kind of branding it.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
It's kind of you know , yeah, you know there's a
little secret so there'ssomething that's something that
man, I don't want to necessarilysay I have no.
No, I do want to say I have nointerest in Nah, Okay, so what
do I mean?
So there are proven ways togrow a brand or whatever it is
(09:59):
you're doing right.
And social media nowadays,social media is a big part I
don't know how to say it likecross-branding right Like having
a podcast in a clothing line,right.
They're kind of likecross-pollinating each other
kind of thing.
So there's all that kind ofstuff that these are proven ways
to grow stuff, and, man, I wishI had the money to hire
(10:20):
somebody to do it instead youknow what I mean, because I
would love for things like thepodcast to to just be huge and
not so like.
So for for me, my big drive isis um.
I wouldn't be where I'm at inmy life if it was not for father
steven yeah and so I wantsomething that's going to he.
He was so influential in my lifethat I want there to be
(10:43):
something that exists so that hehimself and his fellow uh, his
brothers, his fellow Carmelites,can, can, can, shape the world.
Yeah, um, it can continue,right, it can keep doing stuff,
and so, like our podcast hasbeen downloaded in 44 countries
at this point in time, right, soit's just cool.
Like some, so little old friarfrom Dallas, texas, has been
(11:06):
heard around the world.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
Yeah, that's peace.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
So those kinds of things are really cool, but it
could be bigger.
And again, for me, I want themto transform the world, but I
would love, if it's God's will,for people to make donations
because they they they don't getmoney from, like the church as
a whole.
(11:28):
They have to go beg or work forall the money they have.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
And so they have this vow of poverty and you know,
sometimes it's hard to keep thebills paid.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
You know what I'm saying and so like the podcast
seems like a great way forpeople like have a little donate
button or something yeah click,give five bucks a month you
know just help keep the lightson, kind of thing.
But there's a way to grow it andI have.
I have no interest in that youknow what I'm saying so that
would be something cool.
Um, I just don't know what todo with it.
You know what I'm saying.
But that's smart.
(12:00):
I like I see where you're goingwith it.
I.
I think that would be great.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
I think my thing is when my son first passed.
I've always been a fan of musicfilm and fashion.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
So growing up I already knew that I wanted to be
involved in one of those areas,but period just didn't know
which one.
You know I mean.
So my first company that Iwould say I had was alexander
incorporated, where we did film,fashion and music.
And, um, I'm a good writer, as,in words, I have a unique way
of of writing poetry so ofcourse I thought it was only
(12:31):
natural if I rapped you know.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
So everyone was like yeah, you can you?
Speaker 2 (12:36):
yeah, you can do it, man, it's dope.
It's dope.
I'm like yo, but this is reallynot me.
So across the years I've kindof dabbled in each area to learn
, like, what it's like to reallybe behind the scenes in each
one, and the two that I've donethe most in that I love is film
and and fashion.
I created my own short film.
Um, for the first time, I meanwith no experience, I, just me
(12:58):
and my my homie, just say yo,we're going to do it, let's get
some cameras, I'll write thestory, I'll edit it, you get the
actors and we put everythingtogether.
Casting call, got the cameras,locations and it came out.
Yo, great.
So my thing now is you know what, if I have these talents, how
can I put film together withclothing?
Thing now is you know what, ifI have these talents, how can I
put film together with clothing?
If you look at Polo Nautica,they have those elements to
(13:23):
where they tell stories throughshort films or just videos or
whatever, and that's how theyget their advertisement across.
For me, it's not so much astrying to entice people into the
lifestyle, it's more of sharingmy lifestyle, sharing who I am
as a person, and I think that'swhat people well, I would say a
(13:44):
lot of people, if you wouldbelieve it kind of buy more into
you as a person.
You know, I'm like you knowwhat.
I support you because I lovewhat you're doing, and it goes
back to the whole donation thing.
I think those are kind of thesame thing so you know, when I
do things like that's more likemore like yo, how can I, you
know, I wouldn't say give wisdom, but how am I able to show how
(14:05):
me and my friends interact witheach other to where it's like yo
?
You too can learn, not how toget down when we get down, but
you know what?
That's kind of neat, how theycan sit there and talk with each
other.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
Let me see if I can try that.
You know, I'm saying like yeah,there's um, it's like, uh, it
makes me think you buy an artistuh, like their album.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
I was gonna say their cd.
I don't know if anyone buys cdsanymore, but you get there.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
You don't have to like every song, yeah but you're
getting it because you like theartist exactly right, and I'm
sure paintings and stuff werelike that once upon a time too
like, like it didn't even haveto be the best paint, but I had
one of their paintings Right, soit's almost like I had a piece
of that person.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
Because that's what they're buying into.
Yeah, right, yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
They're buying into.
Just I mean, it could be thewisdom that you're giving, to
the point where you know what Irespect this man so much.
I would want to bless thisministry Because, when you think
about it, I believe thatanything that we do is ministry
in the aspect of it's trying toget you to the most high it's
(15:09):
trying to get you toward God.
Now, rap could be a form ofministry, but the way that they
depict it and the things theytalk about, yeah, but it could
be because you have someChristian rappers like D1.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
I don't know if you ever heard of d1 if you haven't,
I've heard some christian rap,but I I it was in passing, so I
have no idea who it was look upd1.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
I'm telling you, this dude right now is not afraid to
push god's message through umhip-hop and he's calling out
some of the rappers, like bignames, rick ross and meek mills,
by saying, hey, you know,you're glorifying all the the
the streets and the guns and thedrugs, but you're not really
giving the people somethingpositive.
You know what I mean.
Let's talk about this and talkabout that.
(15:46):
Like he's really shaping theculture as in trying to get them
to stand like yo, this is God'sthing got going on.
I'm not afraid to push thismessage and I'm I'll stand for
what I believe in.
You know what I mean.
So he's real good at I wouldn'tsay real good at his purpose, I
would say is dead on to whereit shows that anything nowadays
(16:08):
can be a ministry if you aretrying to promote the good
within it.
And I think with me, my thingis again creating memories for
eternity.
When I talk about the loss of myson, I mean one thing's always
attached to it Definitely is God.
How I cursed God in thebeginning.
I didn't understand it.
I was mad you took my littleman, but yet you allow these
other people to have theirchildren and they're out here,
(16:29):
neglecting, leaving the kids athome, and cars, and it's hot
outside.
They're passing out and dying.
And here I am trying to youknow, understand how to become a
father, and you take them fromme.
Forget it.
I hate you.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
You know what I'm saying, and I think there's one
of the and God is.
So I was going to say merciful.
I heard this nun talking theother day I think I just said
this the other day to somebody Iwas talking to, to somebody I
was talking to, but I heard thisnun speaking about how and
(17:02):
don't worry about the situation,but she was saying how.
We like to say God is loving orGod is merciful and all that
kind of stuff she's like.
But that's wrong.
God, he is not loving, he islove.
Yeah, he's not merciful, he ismercy.
Yeah, right, and so in hismercy and his goodness and his
love, he allows us to experiencethese things and be angry yeah,
(17:26):
with him, right.
Um, it took me a long time toprocess when my dad passed away,
uh, in the ways that I wasangry, that I didn't even
comprehend that I was angryabout it, right.
And then, um, thankfully, laterin life, um, so, yeah, like
Betty and I, we've been pregnanttwice and we lost both babies
(17:47):
Right the when, when I waslittle, cause I had a good dad,
that's all I wanted to.
I wanted to be a dad when Igrew up.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
Yeah.
That was dad when I grew up.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
Yeah, that was like my dream, yeah, and so to be so
close and then it doesn't happen, yeah, right, and so,
thankfully, though, I think,through processing and the
healing that came with the lossof my father, when, when we lost
the babies, it was um, and lostthe babies, I guess, is the
wrong word, um.
It's funny how our language,the language we use, but when
that happened, to be able tofind some kind of joy or peace
(18:27):
or love in it.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
Definitely.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
Like I am still a father.
I still have two children.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
And, man, I got something to look forward to
when I die.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
Like, I've had a dream, when I don't remember
what it was a couple, you know,four or five years ago,
something like that.
But I had this dream that I wassitting on the couch and I was
holding Zoe, the little girl.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
I was holding her, just like look, and you can
smell her.
You know, baby smell, yeahRight.
And I in the dream I could,just I was like breathing her in
just the scent, and she wasjust, you know, fussing and
being a little baby and lookingall cute.
But next to me on the couch wasmy son, edgar, and he was maybe
like three or something, he'sjust kind of bouncing on the
(19:12):
couch and kind of holding on tomy shoulders and he's just
looking at his little sister,and it was just like the most
beautiful dream and like that'sthat's it.
And then I woke up.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
But like, what a blessing.
Like I can still in my brain, Ican remember her scent in my
dream.
So it's like that peace andthat love and that joy, like I
have to look forward to.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
Yeah, most definitely , man.
I think for one it made me.
It definitely made me once Igot past the moment of anger and
again the life I was living atthat time.
Because of that, I got tired ofit and it was kind of like yo,
something got to change, like Ihave to let go of whatever I'm
feeling, which I didn't evenknow until I went to counseling
and they set me down and kind ofpicked my brain apart, which I
(19:51):
hated in the beginning, but itkind of helped and I'm like you
know what I don't hate God, likeyou know what I don't hate God,
what was I thinking?
Like he actually, you know, isdealing with me right now, in
this moment, by letting me knowthat yo, like you said, I
allowed you to feel this way,but I also brought this child to
you for a reason, and it's upto you to figure out what that
(20:12):
reason is, because everythingbelongs to God, nothing belongs
to us.
My child is my child, but yo,this is yours and if you want,
hey, you know I'm as hard as itmay be, but there is a purpose
behind the death and I thinkthat becomes for me like when I
said there was a positive andevery negative.
So how am I able to now to takethis and tell a story, my story
, that will help people aroundthe world going through the same
(20:32):
thing that I experienced?
Because it never stops.
There are people right nowlosing their children that don't
know how to deal with itBecause it never stops.
There are people right nowlosing their children that don't
know how to deal with it.
That may be cursing God as well, not understanding.
Hey, even though you feel likethis right now, joy comes in the
morning and you have to figureout the reasoning for it and in
doing it.
It draws you closer to God.
You feel me.
(20:52):
So you know what I mean.
That's peace, which you wentthrough.
Nah, yo, I'm sorry to hear that.
You know what I mean.
I can only imagine two, you knowwhat I mean miscarriages, like
I said, the one I had enough.
I had the same thing.
When he passed, I had a dream.
I was in the hospital for fivemonths straight from the time he
was born and when he passed, Ithink that, and to me, I didn't
(21:14):
feel it in the moment, I didn'tcry, I had no emotion.
I just packed my bags and wentback, or came back to Texas from
Tennessee and got here, had adream I was holding him and he
was alive, him, and it's a apile of bones, you know, I mean,
(21:40):
and that moment is kind of likeyo, that triggered me, like you
know what.
Again, I hate everything aboutthis situation and I mean, I
think, the more that we feedinto that emotion or that, you
know, the devil then is able touse that and to keep you yeah,
in that going the wrong wayright, yeah, yeah he'll play on
the things that are yourstrengths or your greatest
desires, the beautiful thingsthat are deep down in your soul.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
He'll take them and he'll twist them.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Yeah, so that fear becomes no.
I don't want any more children.
I don't want to try again.
You know, what I mean, soforget it, I'm done.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
Yeah, I don't want this.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
I don't want you.
That's uh.
Yeah, I'm sorry to hear itagain.
Man, that's crazy.
I never knew that you know,yeah, have you ever?
Thought about writing a book.
Nah, you feel me.
I mean, I'm not really a a bookwriting person, um, but I do,
again, love writing poetry and Ithink a lot of things that I go
through I I put inside of my,my, my words.
(22:33):
Now, film definitely is onething.
Will I write a book?
I don't know yo.
I mean, maybe when I'm like 60,like nothing to do.
It's like y'all sitting there,like you know, bring me that pen
and paper, let me start writingdown I mean maybe then, but I
think that I mean for me, Ithink that it definitely is a
way to tell a story, um, but Ithink mine is more visual and
(22:55):
just speaking it, uh, more Ithink I enjoy that more than
anything.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
Maybe some short films or something like working
with a graphic artist, maybeit's even animated or something,
so you can really dig into somekind of concepts that are hard
to put when it's film.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
Yeah, definitely, man .
I mean because I feel like that.
To me personally, social mediais a negative thing, but it's
also positive If you know how tonavigate it and use it in the
aspect of helping people.
I mean because, again, anythingcan be bad, I don't care what
it is, but in your hands it canbe a powerful tool for the
(23:34):
kingdom of God If you use it howyou know you need to use it.
You know what I mean.
So media, to me, is still oneof those things where it's like
it's crucial in reaching people.
We didn't have this when wewere growing up.
If we would have had Facebookor Instagram when we were in
high school, yo could you fanthem.
Yeah, I think about that kindof stuff all the time.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
I'm like oh, you kids are so screwed up nowadays and
then I'm like I know how screwedup I am.
Can I only imagine how I wouldhave turned out if I had to deal
with all this stuff they haveto deal with?
Speaker 2 (24:05):
Yeah, and that's why I told Heidi because you know,
anthony is like 18.
And I'm like yo.
You got to understand.
These kids are going throughsomething that we didn't
experience.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
And, with that being said, we have to be
understanding of how it'saffecting them on a daily basis.
I mean, just, they don't evenhave to the stuff they deal with
.
It's like.
I don't know what percentage ofit is ai generated now.
Yeah, so like these young girlscomparing themselves to younger
.
It's not even a real girl.
Yeah, right like.
But when we were kids it was agirl who was photoshopped.
Yeah, that girl ain't even real.
You know, know what I'm saying.
And so it's like, of courseshe's going to be some kind of
ideal for some kind of audience,because the computer's smart
(24:43):
enough to put together.
Same thing for dudes, yeahRight.
So I can't imagine what it mustbe like to have to deal with
that on a daily basis.
Speaker 2 (24:52):
And it's going to get worse, and I think that's the
thing that scares, you know.
When I tell how, I don't saythat it's like that's the truth.
It's gonna get worse as timeprogresses.
It's gonna be something elsethat comes out, way worse than
facebook or social media that'sgonna take the place of it.
And I mean one thing about youknow, I guess being a parent or
being a believer in god is thatyou understand that, in the days
(25:12):
and as it approaches, thingsare going to shape in a form
that's like yo, this is gettingharder and crazier.
How do we deal with this?
You know what I mean, and mything is the word hope.
Everything that we do, I feellike, needs to bring people some
type of hope in that, you knowwhat, even though we are in this
situation, better days are uponus.
You know what I mean.
(25:32):
We never lose the hope of yo,we're good, we're God's people,
so we're going to push throughit and pull through it and we'll
get through this.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
Yeah, and it's not some kind of blind like, oh
it'll get better, Likeoptimistic.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
Right, it's not like that.
It's this confidence in knowingthat Christ already won.
Yeah, like we're fighting thefight that he already won.
Yeah, so we can have thatconfidence.
Yeah, it's man, yeah, that issomething Just thinking about
that.
And the what did you say?
End of days, yeah, with youknow, it's real easy to want to
(26:12):
kind of like in a bubble, likepull yourself back in and say
like no, no, no, I'm not goingto engage with any of that stuff
.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
But we're called to be like the church is like a
missionary.
We're people who don't belonghere, so to speak.
Right, we are missionaries inthe world.
We're made to go engage withthe world where they are.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
And so it almost encourages people and the more
messed up it gets to go engagein it, even more.
Yeah, but not in the messed uppart, but to go engage with
those people even more, likeyou're saying in your ministry,
the more screwed up and crazyeverything gets the more.
We need to come talk.
Yes, we have to get togetherand we have to understand that
(27:00):
you, having an AI chat bot onyour phone, is not a real person
to have a relationship with.
But you can come and talk to meand we have different opinions
and we'll get through thistogether.
Speaker 2 (27:10):
Yeah, and I think I told Heidi that yesterday we had
to talk and I think she kind ofgot offended a little bit when
I was there.
But I said I wish more churcheswould engage in the streets
more.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
Because, again, I grew up in the streets and I
know that a lot of street folkswe're not looking to walk in off
the street into a churchBecause for one, the perspective
of the church from a street guypoint of view is more like man,
you just want to control me,how I live and this, and that
they really don't understand thesignificance of the love of God
and what it really means tohave it right.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
So it's kind of like how are they able to get that if
you guys are so focused on eachother in the church, like every
Sunday, you're in the church?
Speaker 1 (27:51):
Yeah, I'm like Jesus was in the street.
You know what I mean?
He's out there thugging it.
Yeah, no, he was literally,literally, and that's so.
At the end of every mass, um,the, the priest will give a
blessing, and then the thedeacon will say something, and,
um, um, sometimes it'll say themass has ended.
Um, go in peace to love and andserve the lord right so
(28:11):
basically like go out andtransform the world now, right,
and so it's really cool.
Yeah, I agree, it's really easyto go like oh, those poor kids
are starving in another countryor they don't have houses.
Let's go build what about yourneighbor?
You feel me.
Yeah, what about this?
Speaker 2 (28:25):
little lady who lives across the street have you
mowed her lawn yeah right likewhy, don't you go, take care.
So like, start with your family,start with your home, no, and
then creep outward right, and somaybe you only get so far, but
imagine the good that if youjust focused on your
neighborhood, the good you woulddo right there, exactly, and I
think it's kind of like theschool system, how people say
(28:46):
all these kids are this, thesekids are that, but it's like no
one is really taking uponthemselves to shape this beast
that you guys continue tocomplain about.
Well, it's not us, it's thedistrict.
Well, it's not the district,it's the okay.
Yeah, that's cool.
You know what I mean, but quitblaming and just stand up for
what's right.
End of the day, you know what Imean.
And it's like, oh, I feel thesame way about people in church.
(29:08):
You know what, for the peoplethat are not able to be here
with you today sitting down,like, how are you again going to
reach them?
And I think that's the uniquething about me is that I have
that heart and I have thatbalance within myself to
(29:28):
communicate with the other side,but also have a conversation
with this side as well.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
Yeah, well, because you know where you came from.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
Yeah, you know what I mean, right?
So I'm like the middle, themiddle ground ground, and, like
I tell, heidi ministry is likeyo, full of everything.
My ministry may be differentthan what god has called you to
be right and while he's stilltransforming me.
Maybe he is going to use someof the creativity that I have to
be able to, you know, getpeople to kind of like you know,
(29:56):
oh, this is what is.
Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
Yeah, well, and it's like, says like, we're all part
of the or.
I think Paul writes that we'reall part of the same.
We're all different parts ofthe same body.
Yeah, right, so we all havedifferent gifts, we all have
different talents, we're alldifferent body parts, right, and
it's like you, in everybuilding downtown that he could
find.
And then he comes to Jesus andnow, like he's, his graffiti art
(30:19):
makes people stop and look.
Word, right, like, so it couldbe anything, as long as it's for
the greater glory.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
Exactly, you know what I mean.
So no, that's word, man, yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:29):
That's cool, this is fun.
Man Battery's getting ready todie, so Take your time.
Yeah, we'll just go ahead andwrap this up, but yeah, we'll
have to.
Man, I have to have you comeback and we'll talk about
something else.
Maybe we'll find something else.
We're like we're just polaropposites about stuff and just I
don't know, dig in see whathappens.
Nah, that's peace I got you allright cool well, man, thanks
for joining us.
No worry, thank you for havingme.
Yep, we'll see y'all next time.
Welcome to the my Friend the Friar podcast and
thanks for listening.
If you like my Friend the Friarand want to support us, please
consider subscribing orfollowing us if you haven't
already done so, and if youfound us on YouTube then, don't
forget to click the notificationbell when you subscribe, so
you'll be notified of newepisodes when they release.
Thanks again and God bless.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Bonus episode yeah, cough I don't know what this is.
Thanks again and God bless it'slike super chocolate.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Whatever this thing is, I'm gonna be wired for the
rest of the day for real.
Yeah, that will wire you forthe rest of the day.
Probably all the sugar, oh, gotyou combination of it, man, so
what's?
Speaker 2 (00:56):
going on with the, with the clothing brand man and
what?
Speaker 1 (00:57):
and what's the name of it?
Speaker 2 (00:59):
it's croquet anthony alexander all right, uh, I mean.
So, right now I'm just in theprocess of, like I told you
before, not trying to rebrand,but definitely trying to uh
figure out the next move, as, inreaching, um, the individuals
that I'm trying to reach, whichis the croquet association,
right, um, they have a thing towhere they're really trying to
(01:19):
promote the sport more to ayounger audience, and my thing
is like yo, what other way to doit better than through clothing
, which is not the reason why Istarted it, but I believe that
my concept would definitely helpum generate, uh, more young
people to kind of like crossover into the sport because of
fashion or clothing yeah, right,well, and I think you were
(01:40):
saying the other day um, it'sabout because it's not like the
most intense sport ever right,no, no, so it's about spending
time with the people that youcare about and making those
memories and stuff like that andthat speaks back to your son.
Yeah exactly, Creating memorieslasts for eternity.
That's kind of like the slogan,right?
So for me, when me and Heidiplayed for the first time, I
(02:01):
enjoyed it and I'm like you knowwhat this for?
Speaker 1 (02:09):
the first time I enjoyed it and I'm like you know
what.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
This would be kind of exciting if we were able to
play with the children and thenthat can be like our favorite
pastime, like we can grow up.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
Let's go to the lake, let's play croquet.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
Yeah, you know I mean .
So I'm kind of taking it andkind of putting it in my own
image, outside of what everyoneis used to seeing.
A lot of people still, to thisday, don't even know what
croquet is.
When I ask him, like croquet,oh yeah, uh, crockett, crockett,
oh, crochet, crochet.
I know croquet.
Oh, nah, what is that?
And I'm like you know what.
This is a way for me to againintroduce it in in the creative
(02:35):
way that I see the sport, youknow I mean.
So I thought about one dayhaving you yeah me and like two
of my other friends.
As you know, males go down tothe lake.
Let's just chill, talk.
Let's male bond and playcroquet.
You know I mean let's eat howdo you?
Speaker 1 (02:51):
how do you set up the , the, the field, how do you set
it?
I?
Speaker 2 (02:55):
mean well it's.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
I mean I couldn't, I couldn't tell you, I could show
you yeah, you feel me like youpull a picture up and show you
exactly how it is, but it's justare there like rules to how
it's supposed to be set upproperly?
Speaker 2 (03:04):
definitely it's multiple rules, but they have
multiple ways you can playcroquet.
You have non-wicked uh, whichis like more of the professional
competitive style croquet.
Then you have backyard croquet,which is what everyone is kind
of used to yeah you know I meanso.
Depending on which one you'replaying will determine the rule
set um that you'll use.
You know I mean so.
If we're playing like justrecreational purpose, it's super
(03:27):
easy.
You know, I mean like you can'tget lost in it, you can't suck,
I don't think yeah, I just havefun, yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
Yeah, I was just kind of cool because that's like the
worst when you're, when you'reuh bowling, as an example, if I
try to bowl, I'm terrible yeah,if I just go have fun like I
might be all right.
I'm still not gonna be any goodbut, there's something that
when I'm trying it all fallsapart.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
It's like me playing tennis I I don't.
I can't play tennis.
I can, I can bowl, I canbasketball, football, but tennis
nah golf, I'm not.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
I'm not golfing either, yeah, yeah I don't see
myself doing that that's funny.
So what kind of?
So you started it for your son.
Yeah, is there a specific likeis it?
Are you moving it more towardsathletic-y kind of gear, or is
it more like comfy cozy aroundthe house, like hoodies,
(04:16):
sweaters, as of?
Speaker 2 (04:17):
right now it's more lounge wear, I would say, things
you can wear around the houseto the grocery store, but
eventually I do have multiplelines within it that will kind
of transition into differentareas of life.
So, yeah, you will have theathletic wear if you want to
play croquet the way that theprofessionals play.
You know what I mean.
So it won't be like a Nike, likeyou know, a sweat resistant you
(04:40):
know what I mean, but it willbe based on yeah, how you and
drip, you know, I mean, but itwill be based on, yeah, how you
know, the croquet world needsathletic gear.
Uh, then you will have thecorporate, you know, the oxford
shirts, um, the chinos and stufflike that, as time progresses.
I mean, that's the plan and thevision, um, but I've already
created, man, so many sub linesalready to where, whenever
everything takes to where itneeds to be, it's a done deal
(05:03):
like everything is just out ofthere.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
That's cool.
You got an online store yet.
Yes, I do, we'll put links inthe show notes and all that
stuff so people can go check itout and stuff like that.
Yeah, appreciate it.
What else has been going on,man?
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Honestly, you've inspired me a little bit to do a
podcast.
What?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, but not inthe podcast traditional way.
Yeah, um, one thing I'm alwaystrying to do is, you know,
create new avenues to brandcroquet uh, and in doing it it's
more like um a group of mensitting down, not in the
(05:39):
atmosphere of microphones and atv.
You know how most podcasts areseen but it's more like let's
just sit down at a table, let'seat, let's have conversations
about topics that kind of meansomething to us in the world
that we're in, but not in thepodcast type way like I can't
(06:02):
really put a finger on itexactly something that's still
brewing but there's somethinglike it's going to be film mixed
in with the podcast foundation,right.
So it's something that'sdifferent.
It's called perspective because,everyone has perspectives on
different levels, and my thingis, when we speak our
perspective, sometimes it cancause an argument because some
people are more like yo.
(06:22):
Well, I believe this.
Okay, well, I believe this andit becomes more about, about.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
Well, I have more facts to back up what I'm saying
.
Yeah, I man, that's somethingthat like I, I, I enjoy
sometimes listening to uh likein christian debates apologetics
, but only as far as I enjoylearning facts no but to me it's
just like they're arguing yeahand I would so much rather.
I, I think and it would be somuch more fruitful if, instead
of having a debate, which Ithink, the debate is more for
(06:51):
the audience than it is for thetwo people.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
I think it would probably be more fruitful if
somebody with different opinions, if you just walked together
for the rest of your life.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
And let one another shape each other right.
There's a Bible verse I can'tremember where it is, but iron
sharpens iron right.
So like let's just walktogether instead of arguing and
I think a lot of people too,especially when you have these
really deep fundamental beliefslike this is the only way.
That's the A to B to C like thisis what it is something comes
(07:29):
in and rocks that you don't knowwhat to do with it no, and so I
I think that's that's a greatidea is just having the ability
to talk to people and hear wherethey're at, because you might
you never know you might saysomething.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
It just opens up their mind a little bit and I
think that's the thing and thewhole concept behind it is
giving you know, people aplatform um to discuss
perspective in a healthy way.
First, let's listen, let'sthink, let's respond.
Don't cut the person off, letthem get it out and don't be
argumentative.
Out of 10 things I say, sevenmay be true to you and you could
(07:56):
take those seven things and youknow what.
That was interesting.
I can see that.
You know what I mean and otherthree things, yo toss them out,
but that, yeah, you know I mean.
Another three things, yo tossthem out, but there's no need to
.
Well, you know what?
That's a lie.
I disagree with that.
I'm watching a show calledjubilee that my homie put me on
and I don't know if you've seenit before.
Yeah, check it out.
And they have one aboutchristians and, um, it's
(08:16):
christians versus atheists,right?
And as they're discussing it,everyone is like mocking each
other.
Like you know, they said Jesuswas hair of wool and black.
Hold on.
Is it LeBron James?
Speaker 1 (08:32):
I'm like yo, like you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
Like when you talk to someone like that about their
belief, it kind of closed themdown Like yo, why are you
mocking?
Speaker 1 (08:40):
what I believe.
Yeah, and there's definitelysomething to listen more than
you speak.
Exactly, you know what I mean.
So, when, and there'sdefinitely something to listen
more than you speak, exactly,you know what I mean so when I
saw that it's more like yo.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
how can we get in the space to where we're able to
really, you know, express how wefeel, but on a level to where
it's like yo, kind of like meand you, how we talk, like if I
person getting in their emotionsand hating me when they walk
away he'll be talking about he'sfull of crap, you know what I'm
saying like no, let's justlearn from one another.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
You know I mean so that's, really my whole idea.
There was this.
There was a when I was back,when I was a coach.
Um, there was this poster inone of the hallways in the
school that said disagreeingdoesn't make you disagreeable.
Yeah, I was like yeah, andthose little kids need to hear
it too, because they're alleverything's like you know when,
when they're little, uh, yeah,man, that's that's, that's,
(09:30):
that's good, that's, I thinksomething and while doing it
everyone will be wearing croquetattire.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
So that's the whole point of kind of branding it.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
It's kind of you know , yeah, you know there's a
little secret so there'ssomething that's something that
man, I don't want to necessarilysay I have no.
No, I do want to say I have nointerest in Nah, Okay, so what
do I mean?
So there are proven ways togrow a brand or whatever it is
(09:59):
you're doing right.
And social media nowadays,social media is a big part I
don't know how to say it likecross-branding right Like having
a podcast in a clothing line,right.
They're kind of likecross-pollinating each other
kind of thing.
So there's all that kind ofstuff that these are proven ways
to grow stuff, and, man, I wishI had the money to hire
(10:20):
somebody to do it instead youknow what I mean, because I
would love for things like thepodcast to to just be huge and
not so like.
So for for me, my big drive isis um.
I wouldn't be where I'm at inmy life if it was not for father
steven yeah and so I wantsomething that's going to he.
He was so influential in my lifethat I want there to be
(10:43):
something that exists so that hehimself and his fellow uh, his
brothers, his fellow Carmelites,can, can, can, shape the world.
Yeah, um, it can continue,right, it can keep doing stuff,
and so, like our podcast hasbeen downloaded in 44 countries
at this point in time, right, soit's just cool.
Like some, so little old friarfrom Dallas, texas, has been
(11:06):
heard around the world.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
Yeah, that's peace.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
So those kinds of things are really cool, but it
could be bigger.
And again, for me, I want themto transform the world, but I
would love, if it's God's will,for people to make donations
because they they they don't getmoney from, like the church as
a whole.
(11:28):
They have to go beg or work forall the money they have.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
And so they have this vow of poverty and you know,
sometimes it's hard to keep thebills paid.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
You know what I'm saying and so like the podcast
seems like a great way forpeople like have a little donate
button or something yeah click,give five bucks a month you
know just help keep the lightson, kind of thing.
But there's a way to grow it andI have.
I have no interest in that youknow what I'm saying so that
would be something cool.
Um, I just don't know what todo with it.
You know what I'm saying.
But that's smart.
(12:00):
I like I see where you're goingwith it.
I.
I think that would be great.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
I think my thing is when my son first passed.
I've always been a fan of musicfilm and fashion.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
So growing up I already knew that I wanted to be
involved in one of those areas,but period just didn't know
which one.
You know I mean.
So my first company that Iwould say I had was alexander
incorporated, where we did film,fashion and music.
And, um, I'm a good writer, as,in words, I have a unique way
of of writing poetry so ofcourse I thought it was only
(12:31):
natural if I rapped you know.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
So everyone was like yeah, you can you?
Speaker 2 (12:36):
yeah, you can do it, man, it's dope.
It's dope.
I'm like yo, but this is reallynot me.
So across the years I've kindof dabbled in each area to learn
, like, what it's like to reallybe behind the scenes in each
one, and the two that I've donethe most in that I love is film
and and fashion.
I created my own short film.
Um, for the first time, I meanwith no experience, I, just me
(12:58):
and my my homie, just say yo,we're going to do it, let's get
some cameras, I'll write thestory, I'll edit it, you get the
actors and we put everythingtogether.
Casting call, got the cameras,locations and it came out.
Yo, great.
So my thing now is you know what, if I have these talents, how
can I put film together withclothing?
Thing now is you know what, ifI have these talents, how can I
put film together with clothing?
If you look at Polo Nautica,they have those elements to
(13:23):
where they tell stories throughshort films or just videos or
whatever, and that's how theyget their advertisement across.
For me, it's not so much astrying to entice people into the
lifestyle, it's more of sharingmy lifestyle, sharing who I am
as a person, and I think that'swhat people well, I would say a
(13:44):
lot of people, if you wouldbelieve it kind of buy more into
you as a person.
You know, I'm like you knowwhat.
I support you because I lovewhat you're doing, and it goes
back to the whole donation thing.
I think those are kind of thesame thing so you know, when I
do things like that's more likemore like yo, how can I, you
know, I wouldn't say give wisdom, but how am I able to show how
(14:05):
me and my friends interact witheach other to where it's like yo
?
You too can learn, not how toget down when we get down, but
you know what?
That's kind of neat, how theycan sit there and talk with each
other.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
Let me see if I can try that.
You know, I'm saying like yeah,there's um, it's like, uh, it
makes me think you buy an artistuh, like their album.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
I was gonna say their cd.
I don't know if anyone buys cdsanymore, but you get there.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
You don't have to like every song, yeah but you're
getting it because you like theartist exactly right, and I'm
sure paintings and stuff werelike that once upon a time too
like, like it didn't even haveto be the best paint, but I had
one of their paintings Right, soit's almost like I had a piece
of that person.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
Because that's what they're buying into.
Yeah, right, yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
They're buying into.
Just I mean, it could be thewisdom that you're giving, to
the point where you know what Irespect this man so much.
I would want to bless thisministry Because, when you think
about it, I believe thatanything that we do is ministry
in the aspect of it's trying toget you to the most high it's
(15:09):
trying to get you toward God.
Now, rap could be a form ofministry, but the way that they
depict it and the things theytalk about, yeah, but it could
be because you have someChristian rappers like D1.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
I don't know if you ever heard of d1 if you haven't,
I've heard some christian rap,but I I it was in passing, so I
have no idea who it was look upd1.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
I'm telling you, this dude right now is not afraid to
push god's message through umhip-hop and he's calling out
some of the rappers, like bignames, rick ross and meek mills,
by saying, hey, you know,you're glorifying all the the
the streets and the guns and thedrugs, but you're not really
giving the people somethingpositive.
You know what I mean.
Let's talk about this and talkabout that.
(15:46):
Like he's really shaping theculture as in trying to get them
to stand like yo, this is God'sthing got going on.
I'm not afraid to push thismessage and I'm I'll stand for
what I believe in.
You know what I mean.
So he's real good at I wouldn'tsay real good at his purpose, I
would say is dead on to whereit shows that anything nowadays
(16:08):
can be a ministry if you aretrying to promote the good
within it.
And I think with me, my thingis again creating memories for
eternity.
When I talk about the loss of myson, I mean one thing's always
attached to it Definitely is God.
How I cursed God in thebeginning.
I didn't understand it.
I was mad you took my littleman, but yet you allow these
other people to have theirchildren and they're out here,
(16:29):
neglecting, leaving the kids athome, and cars, and it's hot
outside.
They're passing out and dying.
And here I am trying to youknow, understand how to become a
father, and you take them fromme.
Forget it.
I hate you.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
You know what I'm saying, and I think there's one
of the and God is.
So I was going to say merciful.
I heard this nun talking theother day I think I just said
this the other day to somebody Iwas talking to, to somebody I
was talking to, but I heard thisnun speaking about how and
(17:02):
don't worry about the situation,but she was saying how.
We like to say God is loving orGod is merciful and all that
kind of stuff she's like.
But that's wrong.
God, he is not loving, he islove.
Yeah, he's not merciful, he ismercy.
Yeah, right, and so in hismercy and his goodness and his
love, he allows us to experiencethese things and be angry yeah,
(17:26):
with him, right.
Um, it took me a long time toprocess when my dad passed away,
uh, in the ways that I wasangry, that I didn't even
comprehend that I was angryabout it, right.
And then, um, thankfully, laterin life, um, so, yeah, like
Betty and I, we've been pregnanttwice and we lost both babies
(17:47):
Right the when, when I waslittle, cause I had a good dad,
that's all I wanted to.
I wanted to be a dad when Igrew up.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
Yeah.
That was dad when I grew up.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
Yeah, that was like my dream, yeah, and so to be so
close and then it doesn't happen, yeah, right, and so,
thankfully, though, I think,through processing and the
healing that came with the lossof my father, when, when we lost
the babies, it was um, and lostthe babies, I guess, is the
wrong word, um.
It's funny how our language,the language we use, but when
that happened, to be able tofind some kind of joy or peace
(18:27):
or love in it.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
Definitely.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
Like I am still a father.
I still have two children.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
And, man, I got something to look forward to
when I die.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
Like, I've had a dream, when I don't remember
what it was a couple, you know,four or five years ago,
something like that.
But I had this dream that I wassitting on the couch and I was
holding Zoe, the little girl.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
I was holding her, just like look, and you can
smell her.
You know, baby smell, yeahRight.
And I in the dream I could,just I was like breathing her in
just the scent, and she wasjust, you know, fussing and
being a little baby and lookingall cute.
But next to me on the couch wasmy son, edgar, and he was maybe
like three or something, he'sjust kind of bouncing on the
(19:12):
couch and kind of holding on tomy shoulders and he's just
looking at his little sister,and it was just like the most
beautiful dream and like that'sthat's it.
And then I woke up.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
But like, what a blessing.
Like I can still in my brain, Ican remember her scent in my
dream.
So it's like that peace andthat love and that joy, like I
have to look forward to.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
Yeah, most definitely , man.
I think for one it made me.
It definitely made me once Igot past the moment of anger and
again the life I was living atthat time.
Because of that, I got tired ofit and it was kind of like yo,
something got to change, like Ihave to let go of whatever I'm
feeling, which I didn't evenknow until I went to counseling
and they set me down and kind ofpicked my brain apart, which I
(19:51):
hated in the beginning, but itkind of helped and I'm like you
know what I don't hate God, likeyou know what I don't hate God,
what was I thinking?
Like he actually, you know, isdealing with me right now, in
this moment, by letting me knowthat yo, like you said, I
allowed you to feel this way,but I also brought this child to
you for a reason, and it's upto you to figure out what that
(20:12):
reason is, because everythingbelongs to God, nothing belongs
to us.
My child is my child, but yo,this is yours and if you want,
hey, you know I'm as hard as itmay be, but there is a purpose
behind the death and I thinkthat becomes for me like when I
said there was a positive andevery negative.
So how am I able to now to takethis and tell a story, my story
, that will help people aroundthe world going through the same
(20:32):
thing that I experienced?
Because it never stops.
There are people right nowlosing their children that don't
know how to deal with itBecause it never stops.
There are people right nowlosing their children that don't
know how to deal with it.
That may be cursing God as well, not understanding.
Hey, even though you feel likethis right now, joy comes in the
morning and you have to figureout the reasoning for it and in
doing it.
It draws you closer to God.
You feel me.
(20:52):
So you know what I mean.
That's peace, which you wentthrough.
Nah, yo, I'm sorry to hear that.
You know what I mean.
I can only imagine two, you knowwhat I mean miscarriages, like
I said, the one I had enough.
I had the same thing.
When he passed, I had a dream.
I was in the hospital for fivemonths straight from the time he
was born and when he passed, Ithink that, and to me, I didn't
(21:14):
feel it in the moment, I didn'tcry, I had no emotion.
I just packed my bags and wentback, or came back to Texas from
Tennessee and got here, had adream I was holding him and he
was alive, him, and it's a apile of bones, you know, I mean,
(21:40):
and that moment is kind of likeyo, that triggered me, like you
know what.
Again, I hate everything aboutthis situation and I mean, I
think, the more that we feedinto that emotion or that, you
know, the devil then is able touse that and to keep you yeah,
in that going the wrong wayright, yeah, yeah he'll play on
the things that are yourstrengths or your greatest
desires, the beautiful thingsthat are deep down in your soul.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
He'll take them and he'll twist them.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Yeah, so that fear becomes no.
I don't want any more children.
I don't want to try again.
You know, what I mean, soforget it, I'm done.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
Yeah, I don't want this.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
I don't want you.
That's uh.
Yeah, I'm sorry to hear itagain.
Man, that's crazy.
I never knew that you know,yeah, have you ever?
Thought about writing a book.
Nah, you feel me.
I mean, I'm not really a a bookwriting person, um, but I do,
again, love writing poetry and Ithink a lot of things that I go
through I I put inside of my,my, my words.
(22:33):
Now, film definitely is onething.
Will I write a book?
I don't know yo.
I mean, maybe when I'm like 60,like nothing to do.
It's like y'all sitting there,like you know, bring me that pen
and paper, let me start writingdown I mean maybe then, but I
think that I mean for me, Ithink that it definitely is a
way to tell a story, um, but Ithink mine is more visual and
(22:55):
just speaking it, uh, more Ithink I enjoy that more than
anything.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
Maybe some short films or something like working
with a graphic artist, maybeit's even animated or something,
so you can really dig into somekind of concepts that are hard
to put when it's film.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
Yeah, definitely, man .
I mean because I feel like that.
To me personally, social mediais a negative thing, but it's
also positive If you know how tonavigate it and use it in the
aspect of helping people.
I mean because, again, anythingcan be bad, I don't care what
it is, but in your hands it canbe a powerful tool for the
(23:34):
kingdom of God If you use it howyou know you need to use it.
You know what I mean.
So media, to me, is still oneof those things where it's like
it's crucial in reaching people.
We didn't have this when wewere growing up.
If we would have had Facebookor Instagram when we were in
high school, yo could you fanthem.
Yeah, I think about that kindof stuff all the time.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
I'm like oh, you kids are so screwed up nowadays and
then I'm like I know how screwedup I am.
Can I only imagine how I wouldhave turned out if I had to deal
with all this stuff they haveto deal with?
Speaker 2 (24:05):
Yeah, and that's why I told Heidi because you know,
anthony is like 18.
And I'm like yo.
You got to understand.
These kids are going throughsomething that we didn't
experience.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
And, with that being said, we have to be
understanding of how it'saffecting them on a daily basis.
I mean, just, they don't evenhave to the stuff they deal with
.
It's like.
I don't know what percentage ofit is ai generated now.
Yeah, so like these young girlscomparing themselves to younger
.
It's not even a real girl.
Yeah, right like.
But when we were kids it was agirl who was photoshopped.
Yeah, that girl ain't even real.
You know, know what I'm saying.
And so it's like, of courseshe's going to be some kind of
ideal for some kind of audience,because the computer's smart
(24:43):
enough to put together.
Same thing for dudes, yeahRight.
So I can't imagine what it mustbe like to have to deal with
that on a daily basis.
Speaker 2 (24:52):
And it's going to get worse, and I think that's the
thing that scares, you know.
When I tell how, I don't saythat it's like that's the truth.
It's gonna get worse as timeprogresses.
It's gonna be something elsethat comes out, way worse than
facebook or social media that'sgonna take the place of it.
And I mean one thing about youknow, I guess being a parent or
being a believer in god is thatyou understand that, in the days
(25:12):
and as it approaches, thingsare going to shape in a form
that's like yo, this is gettingharder and crazier.
How do we deal with this?
You know what I mean, and mything is the word hope.
Everything that we do, I feellike, needs to bring people some
type of hope in that, you knowwhat, even though we are in this
situation, better days are uponus.
You know what I mean.
(25:32):
We never lose the hope of yo,we're good, we're God's people,
so we're going to push throughit and pull through it and we'll
get through this.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
Yeah, and it's not some kind of blind like, oh
it'll get better, Likeoptimistic.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
Right, it's not like that.
It's this confidence in knowingthat Christ already won.
Yeah, like we're fighting thefight that he already won.
Yeah, so we can have thatconfidence.
Yeah, it's man, yeah, that issomething Just thinking about
that.
And the what did you say?
End of days, yeah, with youknow, it's real easy to want to
(26:12):
kind of like in a bubble, likepull yourself back in and say
like no, no, no, I'm not goingto engage with any of that stuff
.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
But we're called to be like the church is like a
missionary.
We're people who don't belonghere, so to speak.
Right, we are missionaries inthe world.
We're made to go engage withthe world where they are.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
And so it almost encourages people and the more
messed up it gets to go engagein it, even more.
Yeah, but not in the messed uppart, but to go engage with
those people even more, likeyou're saying in your ministry,
the more screwed up and crazyeverything gets the more.
We need to come talk.
Yes, we have to get togetherand we have to understand that
(27:00):
you, having an AI chat bot onyour phone, is not a real person
to have a relationship with.
But you can come and talk to meand we have different opinions
and we'll get through thistogether.
Speaker 2 (27:10):
Yeah, and I think I told Heidi that yesterday we had
to talk and I think she kind ofgot offended a little bit when
I was there.
But I said I wish more churcheswould engage in the streets
more.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
Because, again, I grew up in the streets and I
know that a lot of street folkswe're not looking to walk in off
the street into a churchBecause for one, the perspective
of the church from a street guypoint of view is more like man,
you just want to control me,how I live and this, and that
they really don't understand thesignificance of the love of God
and what it really means tohave it right.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
So it's kind of like how are they able to get that if
you guys are so focused on eachother in the church, like every
Sunday, you're in the church?
Speaker 1 (27:51):
Yeah, I'm like Jesus was in the street.
You know what I mean?
He's out there thugging it.
Yeah, no, he was literally,literally, and that's so.
At the end of every mass, um,the, the priest will give a
blessing, and then the thedeacon will say something, and,
um, um, sometimes it'll say themass has ended.
Um, go in peace to love and andserve the lord right so
(28:11):
basically like go out andtransform the world now, right,
and so it's really cool.
Yeah, I agree, it's really easyto go like oh, those poor kids
are starving in another countryor they don't have houses.
Let's go build what about yourneighbor?
You feel me.
Yeah, what about this?
Speaker 2 (28:25):
little lady who lives across the street have you
mowed her lawn yeah right likewhy, don't you go, take care.
So like, start with your family,start with your home, no, and
then creep outward right, and somaybe you only get so far, but
imagine the good that if youjust focused on your
neighborhood, the good you woulddo right there, exactly, and I
think it's kind of like theschool system, how people say
(28:46):
all these kids are this, thesekids are that, but it's like no
one is really taking uponthemselves to shape this beast
that you guys continue tocomplain about.
Well, it's not us, it's thedistrict.
Well, it's not the district,it's the okay.
Yeah, that's cool.
You know what I mean, but quitblaming and just stand up for
what's right.
End of the day, you know what Imean.
And it's like, oh, I feel thesame way about people in church.
(29:08):
You know what, for the peoplethat are not able to be here
with you today sitting down,like, how are you again going to
reach them?
And I think that's the uniquething about me is that I have
that heart and I have thatbalance within myself to
(29:28):
communicate with the other side,but also have a conversation
with this side as well.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
Yeah, well, because you know where you came from.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
Yeah, you know what I mean, right?
So I'm like the middle, themiddle ground ground, and, like
I tell, heidi ministry is likeyo, full of everything.
My ministry may be differentthan what god has called you to
be right and while he's stilltransforming me.
Maybe he is going to use someof the creativity that I have to
be able to, you know, getpeople to kind of like you know,
(29:56):
oh, this is what is.
Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
Yeah, well, and it's like, says like, we're all part
of the or.
I think Paul writes that we'reall part of the same.
We're all different parts ofthe same body.
Yeah, right, so we all havedifferent gifts, we all have
different talents, we're alldifferent body parts, right, and
it's like you, in everybuilding downtown that he could
find.
And then he comes to Jesus andnow, like he's, his graffiti art
(30:19):
makes people stop and look.
Word, right, like, so it couldbe anything, as long as it's for
the greater glory.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
Exactly, you know what I mean.
So no, that's word, man, yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:29):
That's cool, this is fun.
Man Battery's getting ready todie, so Take your time.
Yeah, we'll just go ahead andwrap this up, but yeah, we'll
have to.
Man, I have to have you comeback and we'll talk about
something else.
Maybe we'll find something else.
We're like we're just polaropposites about stuff and just I
don't know, dig in see whathappens.
Nah, that's peace I got you allright cool well, man, thanks
for joining us.
No worry, thank you for havingme.
Yep, we'll see y'all next time.
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