My Inner Torch

My Inner Torch

My Inner Torch offers direct and personal insight with help for those of us in a relationship with someone who is undiagnosed/diagnosed with a Cluster B Personality Disorder. This is a safe place to come for words of inspiration that draw from my personal experiences and is produced to gain understanding and to find direction as we navigate through the often difficult relationships with those we love who suffer with a Cluster B personality disorder that includes BPD and NPD. PLEASE NOTE: This podcast is NOT for those who suffer with these disorders. This podcast is for survivors of these challenging and difficult relationships.

Episodes

November 7, 2025 • 12 mins

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🎯 Key Takeaways

Core Points:

  • My love cannot cure Cluster B disorders and can become harmful to my own well-being.
  • Cluster B individuals prioritize survival and control over genuine emotional connection.
  • I must distinguish between someone’s potential and their current reality.
  • My self-love and well-being come before trying to change them.
  • I accept them as they are, not as I hope they’ll become.
  • I shift focus from their i...
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🎯 Key Takeaways

Core Points:

  • Cluster B individuals cannot offer unconditional love due to emotional deficits.
  • Their “love” is an illusion based on infatuation, not genuine connection.
  • Their past trauma explains behavior but doesn’t excuse emotional damage.
  • One cannot “fix” a Cluster B partner; they need self-awareness and therapy.
  • Prioritize personal well-being by stopping the pursuit of impossible love.
  • Embrace peace b...
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October 24, 2025 • 14 mins

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🎯 Key Takeaways

Core Points:

  • I accept that it is okay to love a Cluster B individual. My real love does not simply disappear.
  • I recognize the issue is loving at my own expense. I will protect my identity by separating compassion from self-sacrifice.
  • I will set clear boundaries to safeguard myself. These boundaries will foster connection without self-destruction.
  • I will practice emotional detachment. I will observe the...
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October 17, 2025 • 13 mins

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🎯 Key Takeaways

Core Points:

  • I understand that Cluster B individuals lack emotional permanence. Their emotions are fleeting, not constant. This means their feelings of “love” shift rapidly.
  • I recognize that their sense of self is not stable. Love they show is often a temporary construct, reflecting what they need me to be in that moment.
  • I accept that vulnerability is a threat to them. They mimic love externally, but...
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October 10, 2025 • 13 mins

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🎯 Key Takeaways

Core Points:

  • I accept the reality of a cluster B individual’s behavior without approval; they will not change. This stops my fruitless struggle.
  • I adjust my expectations within the relationship, no longer seeking genuine apologies or emotional fulfillment from the other person.
  • I practice emotional detachment by focusing on my personal boundaries, responses, and self-care, stopping their emotional sto...
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October 3, 2025 • 13 mins

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🎯 Key Takeaways

Core Points:

  • I now recognize the intense initial affection from Cluster B individuals as idealization, reflecting their desires rather than genuine love for who I truly am.
  • I understand that Cluster B personalities often have an emotional void, making them unable to offer consistent, reciprocal, or lasting love.
  • I observe that their “love” is conditional, serving their needs for validation and control...
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September 26, 2025 • 12 mins

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🎯 Key Takeaways

Core Points:

  • I understand that reactive abuse happens when I, as a survivor, respond to intense provocation from a Cluster B individual, which leads to my own regret and makes me appear abusive.
  • I recognize that reacting to Cluster B provocation is a trap that fuels their narrative and strengthens their control.
  • I will avoid engaging in unwinnable arguments or using “JADE” (justifying, arguing, defend...
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September 19, 2025 • 14 mins

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🎯 Key Takeaways

Core Points:

  • I now recognize Cluster B relationships as “Ponzi schemes.” They start with intense love bombing, mirroring, and promises that feel tailor-made to me.
  • I understand that early “returns” in these relationships are illusions. These are funded by my own emotional investment, not a genuine connection.
  • I’m aware of intermittent reinforcement used to keep me invested. This involves alternating c...
Mark as Played
September 12, 2025 • 12 mins

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🎯 Key Takeaways

Core Points:

  • I now understand that Cluster B relationships start with idealization, making me feel deeply understood, but it’s a false persona, not real love.
  • I recognize that trauma bonding keeps me in the cycle, confusing intense highs and lows with love, similar to addiction.
  • I’ve learned that the hope that the idealized person will return fuels the cycle, despite that person never existing in real...
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September 5, 2025 • 13 mins

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🎯 Key Takeaways

Core Points:

  • I’ve questioned my Clustered B partner’s love because of the deep pain I’ve experienced and my desperate desire to understand if their behaviors could coexist with genuine affection.
  • What I once believed was love was actually an allure - a manipulative tool used for control, supply, and validation, not a genuine connection of mutual care.
  • Their version of “love” was always conditional and...
Mark as Played
August 29, 2025 • 12 mins

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🎯 Key Takeaways

Core Points:

  • I recognize the cycle of abuse: love bombing, devaluation, discard, and potential hoovering. I am aware that these patterns can still affect me even if hoovering is not present.
  • I understand that letting go is a process. It requires my mental, emotional, and physical preparation.
  • I acknowledge my trauma bonds and lingering hope. I understand that these can tie me to the abuser. Leaving me...
Mark as Played
August 22, 2025 • 13 mins

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🎯 Key Takeaways

Core Points:

  • I need to shift my focus from forgiving the cluster B individual to forgiving myself to start my healing process.
  • I acknowledge that I may have made less than ideal choices, like ignoring red flags or hoping for change, without blaming myself for the abuse I received.
  • I recognize the cycle of abuse, gaslighting, and manipulation inherent in my cluster B relationship.
  • I will verbalize self-...
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August 15, 2025 • 13 mins

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🎯 Key Takeaways

Core Points:

  • I’ve learned to recognize that Cluster B individuals prioritize themselves in relationships. They view relationships as transactional, focusing on extracting resources from me.


  • I now understand that loving gestures from a Cluster B individual often have ulterior motives. Their promises are conditional and used to maintain my investment until I’m no longer useful.


<...
  • Mark as Played
    August 8, 2025 • 13 mins

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    🎯 Key Takeaways

    Core Points:

    • I recognize the “false self” in Cluster B personality disorders as a constructed persona used for manipulation, control, and validation.
    • I understand that love bombing is a tactic used to create an intense initial connection, but it’s unsustainable and not genuine.
    • I acknowledge that the idealized version of the person with Cluster B traits never existed, and grieving this loss is essenti...
    Mark as Played
    July 25, 2025 • 12 mins

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    🎯 Key Takeaways

    Core Points:

    • I now recognize when I’m in a one-sided relationship where I consistently give without receiving.
    • I prioritize my well-being; I’ve stopped trying to fix someone who doesn’t want to be fixed.
    • I’m reclaiming my identity. I’m rebuilding myself on my own terms, not trying to be who I was before.
    • I set boundaries. I speak up for myself. I say no without guilt.
    • I grieve the relationship I wanted;...
    Mark as Played
    July 18, 2025 • 13 mins

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    🎯 Key Takeaways

    Core Points:

    • I’ve learned that Cluster B individuals often present a “false self” to gain trust and loyalty. This is not mere flattery, but a carefully constructed persona.
    • This false self feeds on my deepest desires for love and acceptance, making it incredibly seductive.
    • I’ve noticed cracks in the mask appear as inconsistencies, coldness, and disproportionate anger. These are often disguised as joke...
    Mark as Played
    July 11, 2025 • 12 mins

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    🎯 Key Takeaways

    Core Points:

    • I recognize Cluster B personality traits and have learned to identify manipulative behaviors like gaslighting and love bombing.
    • I understand the trauma bond and can now recognize the cyclical nature of abuse and its addictive qualities.
    • I’ve broken free from the cycle, accepting that the abuser’s actions were not my fault.
    • I’ve reclaimed my reality and no longer doubt my perception when fa...
    Mark as Played
    June 27, 2025 • 12 mins

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    🎯 Key Takeaways

    Core Points:

    • I recognize that Cluster B personalities often create narratives where they are the victims.
    • I won’t get drawn into arguments; I’ll maintain a neutral stance.
    • I’m reclaiming my identity; I’m stopping prioritizing their emotional needs above my own.
    • I understand that Cluster B individuals may lack the capacity for genuine care.
    • Healing is crucial before leaving a relationship; it prevents me...
    Mark as Played
    June 20, 2025 • 13 mins

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    🎯 Key Takeaways

    Core Points:

    • I’ve learned that emotional abuse from Cluster B personalities is insidious and often goes unnoticed, causing internal damage like anxiety and self-doubt.
    • I now recognize how subtle undermining, through seemingly innocent comments, erodes confidence and manipulates perception.
    • I understand how conditional love can create dependence, leaving me feeling like I'm performing for affectio...
    Mark as Played
    June 13, 2025 • 13 mins

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    🎯 Key Takeaways

    Core Points:

    • I’ve learned that Cluster B personalities often engage in a long-term emotional con, slowly eroding their partner’s emotional well-being.
    • I understand the initial phase involves intense love-bombing, creating a false sense of connection and dependence.
    • I’ve witnessed how once the victim is hooked, the abuser’s mask slips, revealing criticism, coldness, and neglect.
    • I recognize that publicl...
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