February 16, 2024 • 33 mins
Hey, baby Jokers! Ever wondered what it feels like when Cupid hits the bullseye? Buckle up as I take you on a whirlwind recount of a Valentine's Day that was nothing short of a fairytale. Picture this: a room dripping with rose petals, a massage that melted away the world, and a dinner that had me wondering if I'd waltzed into a romance novel. As I basked in the love and effort my man poured into the day, I realized this wasn't just about us—it was a universal reminder to lavish that care on ourselves and the ones we adore. So, grab your favorite snack and let's toast to the lengths we go for love, because, darling, you deserve to feel like royalty too.
Life's little moments can be unexpectedly delicious, don't you think? Imagine me, minding my own business at work, bamboozled by a customer who was as interested in my freckles as the glassware he came to buy. What began as a quest for bowls and spoons turned into a delightful dance of flattery and confusion. I'm dishing out the whole enchanting tale, and trust me, it's a cocktail of emotions you won't want to miss. February also brings a salute to Black History Month, and I'm here to celebrate black love in all its glory. So let's chat about finding joy, interpreting compliments, and living our best lives without chasing that ever-elusive clout.
Now, lean in as I spill the tea on dating across age gaps. Why should a number define the connection? Well, I've got my limits, and I'm not shy about it—a ten-year difference is where I draw my line in the love sand. But enough about the numbers game; let's switch beats to the rhythm that's been fueling my soul. NBA YoungBoy dropped a single that's been on loop in my world, and I'm breaking down the lyricism and creativity that's got me hooked. Whether it's love, laughter, or life's unexpected curveballs, I'm serving it all with a side of sass. Remember, we're in this together—one joke and one podcast episode at a time.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Come back to another episode of my life is a joke.
And I'm your host fee.
What's up, baby Joker's?
We made it another week, soexcited to be here.
I'm so glad you guys have madeit to listen to the podcast
episode Y'all.
I have so much to tell you.
(00:28):
Let's get into it.
I just hope that everybody had abeautiful Valentine's Day.
I hope everybody had a goodlove day, that they felt the
love.
If you haven't been feeling it,if you didn't have a little boo
, I'm sorry.
I hope that you did somethingfor yourself, because even if
nobody did it for you, yousupposed to do it for yourself.
Baby Gotta, do stuff foryourself.
(00:51):
You and your little friendsshould have just got out.
I'm saying, you and yourhomegirls, you and your homeboys
, get out, say but anyway.
So I've been keeping a bit of asecret score.
Anyway, now for real, though,I've been seeing somebody you
(01:15):
know saying like she does have,like a little man or whatever,
and I am over the moon about it.
Okay so, because I'm gonna tellyou about my Valentine's Day
plans because, babe, he ate histail, and I mean that in the
dirtiest way possible.
Anyway, with that being said,let's get into it.
(01:40):
Okay so of course I'm gonna putthe pictures up too, because,
baby, if this is one of themepisodes, like for the listeners
, I just really I'm gonnadescribe everything as best as I
can, but just come and watch iton YouTube, baby, and watch and
see what that man had did forme.
And if he did it for me, he didit for you.
(02:01):
Now, don't play it, don't playthis, my man.
I don't fuck around.
Like you know, I love the babyjoke because I fuck with y'all,
damn, but please don't play meand my man.
Thank you.
Anyway, anyway, let's get intothe look before we start.
You know, I'm giving silkpajamas, I'm giving TLC right
(02:21):
now.
It's not silk, it's corduroy, Ithink, but it's giving pink and
I did my makeup today.
I think it's gonna be my newthing that I get up here and do
my makeup, because it makes mefeel good.
I think it's like real.
I look real put together.
I did my hair, you know, gelthe edges back, put a little
mousse on my shit, got rid ofthe flyaways.
(02:42):
You know, like I'm giving face,I'm giving the baddest bitch
per fucking usual.
You know, before we really getinto it.
Hoes, really not fucking withme.
You know what I'm saying.
You ever just felt like that,like hoes and niggas.
You niggas is not fucking withme.
Like I'm really that niggie,the fuck, I'm top tier.
(03:05):
Step your pussy game up, guys.
I don't mean to tell you.
I mean I'm gonna tell you.
Anyway, back to my littleroommate to get away with my man
, anyway.
So he booked us a little roomGirl, yes, decorated the room
rose petals this shit,motherfuckers, making hearts out
(03:27):
of out of the little petals onthe big girl.
Like room, romantic.
Like I said you did this, likethat was the vibe, like I was so
excited, like I never hadnothing like that a day of my
life.
And he booked us like this,like couple massage.
(03:48):
And let me tell you I don't knowif I ever told you all about
that time I got a massage.
It felt like I got beat thefuck up.
But this second time aroundthey did.
They think you know what I'msaying.
It wasn't too rough because Igot telling people liked,
because I had asked for mediumpressure last time is light
pressure, because you know I'mlike skin.
I bruise easy.
My skin soft.
You gotta rip it soft.
(04:09):
You can't, you can't be roughwith me.
Okay, take your time, nigga,take your time.
So you know I'm rubbing us down.
We hold hands and shit wheremotherfuckers you know is
rubbing us down, like gettingour massages and shit.
And so he had me wait.
He told me to like hold on fora second, you know, like get
(04:32):
like give me a look.
You know they had like goodglasses of champagne down there.
So he was like you wait here.
And I got a surprise in theroom and then you come up and
buy a couple of minutes.
I'm like okay, like I said whatelse is this nigga got?
You know, I'm sad.
Like he already decorated themotherfucking room and so he
calls me.
Tell me to come up there.
I get up there.
(04:54):
I get up there.
Why is it a makeup partysitting there, a dress on a be
and this nigga me a heartnecklace.
This is my manner away.
This man is this man and pickedout an outfit for me to wear,
then paid the motherfucking M?
(05:14):
U way to come, beat mymotherfucking face to take me
out to dinner.
I said, wow, this, this is whatI'm talking about.
See, this is a definite.
This is the true definition.
If, if he wanted to, he wouldyou understand if that nigga
want to do that shit.
(05:35):
He gonna do that shit.
You don't gotta ask that.
You don't really have to askthey need to do that shit.
He gonna do that shit if hefuck with you him.
So then you know, well, I endup getting ready the makeup
artist.
They might make up in everything.
They might hear you like real,real cute.
I'm still rocking the mini twiz, but you know I did it.
(05:55):
I put in a little cute littleup.
Dude, you know I'm saying hehad gay and he ain't got me a
little dressed the way and Ihave some heels and he's like
we're gonna go out to eat and Iwas like where we going, say
it's a surprise, this nigga isfull of fucking surprises y'all.
So are my life, this nigga on mysoul?
This nigga is full of surprises.
This nigga pull up to know boo,I say now you know you can't
(06:20):
act like you ain't ever beenover.
You know I ain't ever been away.
So I'm like I'm like you ain'tlike, you really like me, like
you want to eat my cookie.
Then I wait like okay.
So we, you know we got a number.
We have a great time y'all, wehave a great time.
We're not gonna get into theseother way end up happening for
the rest of the night.
(06:40):
I'm sure we're grown.
Here you guys can put two andtwo together like it just was a
good time and I love my man.
Like it feels so good to be,you know, appreciated.
You know I'm saying like justreally feel the love and the
energy, like the motherfuckerreally fuck with you.
I just really enjoyed that.
(07:01):
I'm fucking bullshit.
I need to do a goddamn thing ofValentine's Day.
I took a motherfucking nap onthe couch and and tried to get
honey not to lick me in mymotherfucking mouth because we
was face to face.
I made that up a lot.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I'm fucking sorry.
I, I don't know, I don't.
(07:21):
I told you, I told you I can'tbe fucking trusted.
They go.
What was that believable?
Did you believe me?
Did you think like that, thatall of that stuff happened?
Like I just made it up?
I fucking made it up.
None of that shit happened.
I was dead sitting in my livingroom watching the Braxton's
(07:42):
family values and went to fuckto sleep and I had to turn my
back to my dog because she kepttrying to lick me in the mouth
with a little freaky ass.
I told I'm not into that shit.
But she don't fucking listennasty.
I told I don't, I don't do that.
She a freak dog.
(08:02):
The baby took is like girl.
What the fuck is you on?
A whole lot of bullshit, awhole lot of, a whole lot of, a
whole lot of, a whole lot of awhole lot of bullshit, bullshit,
whole lot of bullshit, bullshit.
That just is what it is.
But you know but?
But that's actually did happen.
(08:23):
This is the real.
When my friend nation listenedto this, she gonna be like bitch
.
That shit is a.
That motherfucking is a liartween.
You already fucking know wherehave you been.
You know I be fucking lying.
Sometime, bro, I gotta get thisrid up off me.
But y'all, I end up going outwith my friend nation.
She, she took me out to ourfavorite little Mexican
restaurant.
(08:43):
This actually did happen.
We had Michael readers.
We key, key.
It was a nice time.
This was before valet time.
They saw, on the day ofValentine's Day, that's when I
took that nap on that couch, meand my couch.
We've been going together realbad.
You know I'm saying likesometimes I don't even want to
get in the bed, I just get up onthat full time and I do what it
do you know?
I mean you watch.
(09:03):
I've been getting busy on thecouch.
So yeah, that was pretty muchmy valet times day.
I hope that everybody enjoyedtheir valet times day and that
you know, y'all was, y'all waspartying or y'all was doing,
y'all or y'all was justcomfortable.
Whatever happened that day,whether whether y'all celebrated
or y'all, or y'all didn't ornot, it was my cousin birthday.
(09:26):
Shout out to my cousin Jackie,I love you, baby.
And it was my last techbirthday.
Shout out to Lee I fucking loveyou.
It is what it is big.
I fuck with you.
So, yeah, it's a lot of queries.
It's a lot of queries is around.
I don't know.
I love little queries is, buty'all do not know what y'all
want to do.
Y'all are so undecided.
Is it undecided or undecided?
Y'all can't make y'all fuckingmind up.
(09:48):
Don't do me.
You know I'm dyslexic.
So, anyway, is this messy?
Is this messy?
And I asked y'all this on myInstagram.
So I want to know.
I want to know what y'all thinkit's gonna.
It's a poll currently up on myInstagram and I want y'all to.
When y'all get done, go to mylife is a joke podcast.
Instagram in vote.
(10:09):
Am I messy?
Am I the drama?
Okay?
So I was on tiktok.
You know I stay there, you knowI live on tiktok now and it's
this, it's this dude that I usedto talk to and I seen that he
posted like that he got married.
(10:30):
And when I my first initiallike thought, when I seen it,
when I sent the shit was oh mygod, congratulations.
You know I'm saying like andlike.
I typed it and I commented onthe video oh my goodness, like
congratulations.
And then I thought about it andI said, damn, was that messy?
Because I really was comingfrom a genuine place in my heart
(10:52):
.
I promise you it would know illwill in my heart.
I was not.
You know, I'm not one of them.
Grimy ass, nigga, even though Ijust lied to y'all for like 10
minutes straight.
That's called acting.
That's, I'm in my acting bag,I'm in my acting era.
Nigga, don't hold that againstme.
Forgive me because I forgiveyou.
I love you, but am I messy forthat?
Because I really I reallycouldn't tell like.
(11:13):
I asked a couple of my friendsand they were like no, I don't
think they make you messy, but Iknow some people might feel
some kind of way about it.
And then I was like I start thesecond guess and I'm like, damn
, maybe I shouldn't sit there.
Then I went on my tiktok and seethat he filled my profile.
I'm like, damn, hold on, buddy,you got to be faithful.
I don't want you, I want you tobe with that one man, I want
(11:35):
you to be with that woman.
He don't fuck with me like that.
Anyway, we was just, and thething was, when we was talking
it was really like like Ithought he was cute and for sure
he fought with me.
He thought you know, you're notthe motherfucking that I was
fine too, like way, like, lookat me, period.
So I'm just like you know we'refucking with each other.
But you know it was like niggasmet on tiktok.
(11:56):
How serious is it?
You know we had a couple offace time cards but it was never
nothing like.
It was never nothing likeserious as hell.
So yeah, I just wanted to makesure I wasn't the messy Bob, you
know, because I'd be trying youknow I really be trying a
little hosting life.
That might be a littlecontradicting, but y'all gotta
(12:17):
let that hurt go.
Y'all got to let that hurt go.
I told y'all me my acting bad,but I'm just like.
You know I was like damn likeit.
You know it kind of fucked meup for a little bit cuz I said
damn Like I don't wantmotherfuckers be like, oh, who's
that the cop being on yourpigeon?
You know motherfuckers gottaexplain shit.
You know, now I'm too, I'mthinking too.
I'm probably thinking too muchabout it.
That ain't even under mybusiness.
I just was really for no, forreal.
(12:39):
Y'all like real life baby Jokeis, I realized, was like happy
for that nigga.
You know I'm saying like Shoutout to that brother and that
sister, it's black history man.
I can't hate on black loveright now, the fuck, not right,
and not even right now.
I don't do that shit, not ever.
They look happy and shit.
I was like I was genuinelyhappy and I said damn, I hope
(13:00):
they don't make me aware thisbitch, cuz I'm really not trying
to be aware.
Though you know I'm saying thaty'all got a song called where
the house and I don't want to beone of them he said you be
seconded for cloud.
I think he said that on thissong I won't be doing it.
I Don't be doing it.
Why would he say that youwouldn't talk about me.
(13:23):
He won't talk about me.
But yeah, like, I just wantedto know, like go follow my
Instagram if Is that messy ornot?
Cuz I don't, I don't think so,but you know, I also could be
wrong, cuz I've been wrongbefore.
So look, now this actually didhappen.
(13:45):
So this week I was at work andSometimes I do stuff to spike
shit up in my life, and it doesin the things that I do.
It doesn't necessarily makesense, it's just, you know, I
just be doing shit.
You know I'm saying cuz little.
What's the name of the podcast?
My life is a fucking joke, okay.
Okay, I just like to sometimesshit get a little boring in my
(14:09):
life.
I'm like, or I need some littleaction.
You know I'll mix some shit up,I'll stir some shit up, but you
know not to like not on someweird shit, but just, you know
I'll just shake some shit up.
So I was at work the other dayand this guy you know cuz, you
know, you know niggas work up atthis, though and this guy had
rolled up on me, you know, and amother, and a mother of those,
(14:31):
you know, motorized carts thatyou, you know, put your
groceries and shit in.
He asked me, like, where's theglass bowls?
And so you know I got them.
You know I showed him where theglass bowls was and everything.
And you know, like you know,just helping out.
You know just helping thecustomer, cuz I have great
customer service.
You know I love to.
I'm not gonna even say thatthat Moving on, cuz I was gonna,
(14:56):
I'm gonna sell you.
I was gonna say I provide goodcustomer service, moving on
anyway.
So, with that being said, youknow I'm gonna show them where
the glass bowls was.
That because that's what he waslooking for.
And he was like, can you hearme one of them spoons out there?
You know I give him, you know,cuz he's sitting in a cart, so I
just, like you know, I'll goahead and get the spoon for him.
(15:16):
And so while I'm, like you know, showing him like the different
glass bowls and stuff, hecompliments me and says, oh my
gosh, like your freckles are.
So they're like you have reallycute freckles, like you really
have nice freckles, like they'readorable.
And he probably complimented melike three times about it and I
said, oh, thank you, thank you,and this is the thing about me.
(15:40):
It's so crazy.
I never really know when peoplelike me because Because him
complimenting me about myfreckles on the gang, I thought
the man was a guy, thought hewas a gay man and let me, let me
paint the seat, let me pay tosee he was a.
He's an older black man, biglike he's.
(16:01):
He's like I don't know how tallhe was, cuz he was in that car,
but for sure he's taller thanme.
I'm five, eight and he wasn'tlike no fat guy, he was like a
big buff guy and he was olderand he had, like you know, nice
little watch on, like nicelittle like silver chain
bracelet on and you know, likehis clothes was in need.
You know, it's Like he lookednice like, very like, like he
(16:26):
kept up with himself and not tosay that if a man keeps over
Themself and the parents, thatthat makes him gay.
No, but when you compliment meon my freckles, that's a very
specific calm, you knowcompliment and I'm just like,
okay, like you know I'm, I Saidthank you and so you know, at
(16:49):
the end of you know, after I getdone helping them with
everything you know, I askedmyself Do you need help with
anything else this man says Ineed help with a lot of things.
I said what the hell you did?
I'm like, what the hell you hit?
What the fuck you?
What else do you need?
Like what's going on?
It's almost.
(17:09):
I just want to let you know.
They're like you're really,really beautiful and you know I
was just I would love if youcould, you know, cuz I need a
lot of help.
I need a lot of help.
I said you do, and I'm like youknow I appreciate a compliment.
I'm not never gonna turn oncompliment down, I'm always
appreciative.
I say thank you, cuz niggas,niggas be killing niggas.
You know niggas be killingbitches if you, you say the
(17:31):
wrong shit to him.
So I'm trying to talk cute to anigga, cuz I don't have time to
be dead and shit For real.
You know I'm not.
You tell nigga no, they readyto lay your ass out.
What now?
Hey, I'm not here now.
Anyway, back to the story.
And so this man, this man, isstarting to flirt with me and
(17:53):
I'm, like you know, I'mentertaining it Because like,
like I said, I do certain shitin my life just to like spice
this shit up.
You know I'm saying hmm, and sohe was.
I like you should.
You should put my number inyour phone.
I said I should.
He's like yeah, you know.
So, like you know, so you knowI can call you sometimes so I
(18:16):
can hear something soft before Igo to sleep.
I said you want her something.
So I was like, yeah, I want her.
No nigga voice before I go tosleep.
I was how.
The last thing I want to do isyour bitch was on the phone
before I go.
Sometimes I talk to my.
I'm just playing, but you knowwhat I'm saying.
Like I get it sounds like youknow.
(18:36):
I'm like, okay, cool.
And then what does the fuck hesay?
Um, what the fuck that man.
See, that is the truth.
I promise you cuz you know, youdon't you, that when I was
lying, that shit Was justflowing out.
When the truth comes, you knowyou got to remember certain shit
, because this shit actually,yeah, like bitch, we don't trust
(18:56):
a goddamn thing.
Y'all ask me fucking scene.
Come on, bro, back to the storyanyway.
So he was all like, yeah, youshould put your number, you
should let you know, put mynumber in your phone, so you
know we could.
You know I could call you andwe maybe we can go out and
because I still be having fun.
And I said, well, well, how oldare you?
He's like I'm probably oldenough to be your uncle.
(19:18):
I said, well, yo ass, probablyis.
But how old are you?
Because you that wasn't noanswer to my question.
He said he said I'm 41.
I said okay, and you know, for41 he looked at good, you know,
he looked good for 41, you know,beautiful chocolate skin, like
you know, like he it was verymuch so giving grown man, it was
(19:42):
very much so giving older man.
So, I'm okay.
He was like yeah, you know I waslike so what do you like to do
for fun?
He was like oh, I love to go tothe movies.
I like to go out hanging outwith my friends this, this and
this.
Sometimes I like to go on rides.
So in my mind, when I heard himsay that he like to go on rides
, I'm like oh, like you have amotorcycle or something.
He's like no, like I just liketo.
(20:04):
You know, just get in the carand just ride around and you
know, listen to music, likestuff like that.
I said okay, he was like but Ialso got a drop top convertible,
I can come pick you up in.
And it was so funny when he saidthat shit because it was just I
like what is this like?
Not to say that drop topconvertibles is up?
You know a thing of the past.
(20:24):
But it's like he's an older mantrying to give my attention and
he gave like what am I tryingto say?
It gave like 90s, like R&Bmovie or some shit, like it
didn't feel really gave scripted.
You know I'm saying like nigga,you really saying this shit to
me, like you're gonna come pickme up in your drop top
(20:45):
convertible.
Is it read too Cuz?
Like, is it a rag top?
Is it red?
Like like you know, I'm sayingmy folks coming to pick you up
in the drop top Provideable.
I'm like and I just thought itwas funny that he was saying it.
So I was like okay, so I end upgiving you know.
I never, like you know, puttinghis number in my phone, not
text them.
And like you know, let me knowit was me.
(21:07):
Okay, cool, whatever.
And he was out like um, whattime you get off work?
I said I get off work at 10,excuse me.
He was like okay, well, I'maway a little bit.
I'm calling you tonight, it'sokay, cool, I get home, they
can't call me.
So I say, well, shit, I ain'treally too much worried about
I'm feeling a bit so likesometime in the middle of the
(21:30):
night he takes me and he was, Iend up.
I find he was like I eventuallyend up dozing off, but I'll
call you.
In the morning I said, okay, Ididn't respond to his message,
so I'm cuz, I'm thinking likewhen I wake up in the morning
they just gone call.
I didn't respond to his message, so he didn't end up calling, I
guess.
So I didn't talk to him thatmorning.
(21:50):
So I was back at work and I washaving like a real bad day at
work and I just had wanted tocomplain to somebody.
That's all it was.
You know, I just wanted tocomplain.
So I text him and I said hey.
And so instantly when I texthim, he, um, he calls me and so
I'm asked you know, I answeredthe phone and he was like hey.
(22:12):
And I was like hey, how youdoing?
You know we're talking orwhatever, and like he's really
Trying his hardest to like woome.
And that's something that I'venoticed with like older men.
When you try to talk to themLike they're, they're very much
so.
Like I want you to be my woman,I want to love on you Like I'm,
(22:34):
like I really I'm ready for youto be my wife.
Like they started inserting youInto their lives and like y'all
doing shit, and I'm not liketalking like like sick, we like
being married, like shit likethat, or going on tricks like
shit like that, like that's whatthey be talking about, so
that's what he on the phonedoing.
Like you know, I would love.
You know, you know, you know hetrying to say she's I'm just
(22:55):
trying to make you smile, I'mjust trying to make you laugh,
you know, make you feel better,cuz you said you was having a
not a good, so I'm not having agood day, this, this and that,
and you know, but he was doingthat so much like he really was
landing on thick and I'm likedamn, like the nigga trying to
woo me so bad.
Like I just wouldn't have aregular as conversation with the
(23:15):
nigga.
Like let's talk about someregular shit.
You know, I'm saying, like whatyou do today, like when you
working, like what you know,let's talk about some other shit
.
Like I don't want to constantlytalk about.
You Wanted to be with me, oneto be in love with me.
I don't want to talk about thisshit all day long because I, if
I didn't want to talk to yourass, if I didn't want to
entertain this shit, I wouldn'tnever Gave put your number, my
(23:37):
phone texture, I would never didnone of this shit.
I wouldn't even let you give meyour number.
I Wouldn't even did it becauseI would have been like, nah, I
really don't get my.
You know, I'm saying like youknow, I just wouldn't.
It did all it.
You got my attention Cuz, likeI said, I like to spice shit up
sometimes.
So I'm like okay, um, so youknow, I ended up changing the
(23:59):
subject.
So I asked him.
I said what's your sign?
I Don't know why niggas get sofucking mad or irritated or
annoyed when you ask thisfucking question.
Like, look, nigga, I'm not themotherfucker that's reading the
stores and doing all of thisother shit.
I just want to know what it is.
And once I ask you what it is,i'ma leave it alone.
(24:19):
I'm not finna, go back andforth with you about your son.
I'm not doing all of that.
I'm just asking you a basicquestion because I want to know
more about you.
That's it, cuz after I got doneanswering, asking what's his
sign, all he had to do wasanswer that shit.
And then I probably gonna askhim something else and we was
gonna have another conversationabout something else.
I asked this man, is he's like Iwant my Sagittarius?
(24:41):
I saw I loved that for you, andthen I was gonna move on.
And so then he was like, well,you know, that's not really
christian, lee, and you know, asa godly man, you know that
really goes against what youknow, goes against the Bible and
God.
And you know that I Kind offeels like I kind of feel like,
(25:01):
you know, the zodiac signs don'thave nothing to do with like
relationships and this, this andthat.
And Then niggas started tryingto give me a fucking lesson and
one thing about it, and twothings for sure.
I'm a student always, but Ididn't ask for that.
You know I'm saying now we kindof gave like I'm talking to my
(25:25):
daddy on the phone, like youknow.
I'm saying like you, you tryingto teach a nigga son, and I
ain't asked you to teach me agoddamn thing, I'm just trying
to have a conversation with yourass.
You know I'm saying and mything is I my bad, y'all, it
took me difficulties.
They be saying, like you know,always read the Bible and you
(25:47):
know, learn it for yourself,learn the words yourself, this,
this and that.
So I don't take things thatpeople say about the Bible or
about God Like not that I don'ttake it seriously, I just don't.
I haven't got to that part ofthe Bible yet.
I ain't got to that chapter yetwhen they say don't do this,
it's they don't do that I ain'tgot to.
(26:08):
But once I get there, then okayand I like to learn and do my
own research about other things.
But, like I said, I never askedyou about, I just asked you
what your son was.
We were gonna leave it.
I promise you I was gonna leaveit.
Be right where it was there.
So after he, like you know, gaveme this whole lecture about
like the fucking Zodiacs and howyou know it's not right and
(26:30):
it's not christianly, and this,this and that, I'm like I'm kind
of over the conversation now,like I'm kind of over it, like
I'm over it.
So now, like we moving on, thenigga is steady trying to like,
trying to womb me, you're stilltrying to womb me, still trying
to talk about us being together,this, this, and that I'm like
(26:50):
his name was Cameron.
I said, cameron, bro, I'malready on the phone, bro, you
ain't got to do all that.
You do not have to do all that,let's talk about something else
.
And so, like we ended uptalking about small talk, like
we did some more small talk Iwas not even there alone, cause
I was less than 20 minutes, itwas actually like 18 minutes and
but you know, after that pointof the conversation, I kind of
(27:11):
was over Cameron, cause, youknow, I was like okay, like I
kind of feel like you'reoverdoing it, babe, like it was
never even that serious, likeyou know, but to each his own,
like I, I respect how you feel,but I didn't ever ask for that.
You know what I mean.
And then, like, like I said, Iwas never really going to take
Cameron serious, because metalking to Cameron kind of goes
(27:33):
against my, my, my personalbeliefs.
Okay, I don't feel like 20,anything should be talking to 40
, anything like 40, nothing.
Like there is no way.
Like I really don't believe inage gap relationships because I
feel like they're onlytransactional.
Like what, what is it that Ican gain from being with you.
(27:53):
You're probably cause you'revery like, cause you know.
He ended up telling me what hedid.
He had money or an everything.
So I'm like okay, you'refinancially stable, you can pay
my bills.
So in return, what am I givingyou?
Pussy?
You want some young cat?
That's what it is You're.
(28:14):
You're trying to paint it andwrap it up as it's love, like
you're a wife.
No, nigga, you want to fuck me,bro.
That's what it is.
That's what it is.
That's why I don't believe inthose kinds of relationships,
because they're strictlytransactional.
Now, if that's what you chooseto do, that's that's your
business.
But that's not nothing that Iwould do.
I would never be with somebodyolder like that.
(28:34):
I think the max I'll go is 10,and even still, that's kind of
pushing me.
So I'm just like I'm kind ofgood on you, buddy.
I'm kind of good on you, buddy.
So, yeah, like I was never, butlike that's what I'm saying,
I'd be just doing shit, and I'mlike I had new like.
(28:54):
You know how men say.
Men say like, oh, I knew thatthat was going to be the person
I was going to be with.
Like she was the one, this,this and this, bro.
Women know the same fuckingthing, bro.
Like I knew that, well, weweren't going to be doing.
I knew that, well, you weren'tgoing to come pick me up in the
drop talk of her to a bitch.
I wasn't going to get in there.
I had already knew I'm notgoing.
I'm not going, I just be likean aspect of my shit up content.
(29:19):
I'm a content girlie, that'sjust what it is.
But I've been doing this shitbefore.
I was even doing a podcast andeverything I would just do like
little random shit, and so thatwas the little random thing that
I did this space my week.
Talk to her for your man, andthat was it Okay, and so moving
(29:42):
on y'all.
I don't know what is going on,but young boy dropped a single
and when I tell you, thismotherfucker go, this
motherfucker got crack in it.
This is the only song I've beenlistening to every day for a
(30:03):
couple of days in a row, likewhen I listen.
I think I told you that when Ilisten to music on repeat.
That's just what it is One songall day long.
I'm only listening one song forhours at a time and I don't
mind.
I love it, just that much.
The motherfucking song be nextto be next to Reaper.
(30:24):
Oh my God, young boy puts hispussy in it.
Let me start playing withKendrick.
He'll fight me for that.
You know he's a real dangerousguy.
Anyway, I wrote his lyrics downbecause you know I'm back.
You know I tried to be like alittle R&B girlie.
I try to listen to the sad rap.
You know what I'm saying.
I feel the right way, don't getme wrong.
(30:45):
I'm tired.
I'm tired.
I'm tired to be on mymotherfucking fillers.
It's time to turn this shit upback to the motherfucking murder
music.
Okay, that's what I fuck with,you know.
And so when he came out withthis song be next to Reaper I
said I got to make this the wisewords of the week, the song of
the motherfucking week.
(31:06):
But I'm going to go ahead andread a couple of these lyrics,
because I said damn, why me?
But you be going hard on theniggas.
He said I met yourmotherfucking back door trying
to hit at your throat like thesehollows or razors.
Oh my God, control.
I loved it.
Then he said fuck all theseniggas.
(31:27):
I'm ready to kill him.
I promise nobody can save him.
Life of a villain.
I'm ready, let's get it, let'sdo it.
I'm coming to slay him.
Control my dog.
Where you been?
Boy, boy, boy.
Then he said they talking thatshit.
I'm not.
He was like what he saying, no,I'm just legs.
(31:49):
And now give me a second.
They just be talking that shit,but I'm having my way in this
bitch like a player.
I love you.
He's so creative.
Anyway, this episode is probablygoing to be a little choppy
because the audio has stopped.
The camera has stopped.
(32:09):
I don't know what's going on,but we pushed through.
We got through.
We got a 30 plus minute episode.
I'm proud of us.
Okay, let's go ahead.
Let's wrap it up for the camera, in for the camera.
Okay, I want to thank y'all forlistening.
If y'all are on listeningplatforms, please make sure that
you rate the podcast and leavea review.
If you're watching, please makesure that you like, comment and
(32:30):
subscribe and click thenotification bell.
Make sure y'all comment.
Comment which idea forValentine's Day?
Comment.
If y'all slept on the couch andalmost had your dog lick y'all
in the mouth.
Period.
Make sure that y'all share me,share the share the podcast,
group chat.
Three or more.
Three or more, three or more.
All right, y'all, and Iappreciate y'all.
(32:52):
I want to thank y'all forlistening, I want to thank y'all
for watching and I'm justtrying to change the world one
joke at a time.
Salute, peace out, bye.
Come back to another episode of my life is a joke.
And I'm your host fee.
What's up, baby Joker's?
We made it another week, soexcited to be here.
I'm so glad you guys have madeit to listen to the podcast
episode Y'all.
I have so much to tell you.
(00:28):
Let's get into it.
I just hope that everybody had abeautiful Valentine's Day.
I hope everybody had a goodlove day, that they felt the
love.
If you haven't been feeling it,if you didn't have a little boo
, I'm sorry.
I hope that you did somethingfor yourself, because even if
nobody did it for you, yousupposed to do it for yourself.
Baby Gotta, do stuff foryourself.
(00:51):
You and your little friendsshould have just got out.
I'm saying, you and yourhomegirls, you and your homeboys
, get out, say but anyway.
So I've been keeping a bit of asecret score.
Anyway, now for real, though,I've been seeing somebody you
(01:15):
know saying like she does have,like a little man or whatever,
and I am over the moon about it.
Okay so, because I'm gonna tellyou about my Valentine's Day
plans because, babe, he ate histail, and I mean that in the
dirtiest way possible.
Anyway, with that being said,let's get into it.
(01:40):
Okay so of course I'm gonna putthe pictures up too, because,
baby, if this is one of themepisodes, like for the listeners
, I just really I'm gonnadescribe everything as best as I
can, but just come and watch iton YouTube, baby, and watch and
see what that man had did forme.
And if he did it for me, he didit for you.
(02:01):
Now, don't play it, don't playthis, my man.
I don't fuck around.
Like you know, I love the babyjoke because I fuck with y'all,
damn, but please don't play meand my man.
Thank you.
Anyway, anyway, let's get intothe look before we start.
You know, I'm giving silkpajamas, I'm giving TLC right
(02:21):
now.
It's not silk, it's corduroy, Ithink, but it's giving pink and
I did my makeup today.
I think it's gonna be my newthing that I get up here and do
my makeup, because it makes mefeel good.
I think it's like real.
I look real put together.
I did my hair, you know, gelthe edges back, put a little
mousse on my shit, got rid ofthe flyaways.
(02:42):
You know, like I'm giving face,I'm giving the baddest bitch
per fucking usual.
You know, before we really getinto it.
Hoes, really not fucking withme.
You know what I'm saying.
You ever just felt like that,like hoes and niggas.
You niggas is not fucking withme.
Like I'm really that niggie,the fuck, I'm top tier.
(03:05):
Step your pussy game up, guys.
I don't mean to tell you.
I mean I'm gonna tell you.
Anyway, back to my littleroommate to get away with my man
, anyway.
So he booked us a little roomGirl, yes, decorated the room
rose petals this shit,motherfuckers, making hearts out
(03:27):
of out of the little petals onthe big girl.
Like room, romantic.
Like I said you did this, likethat was the vibe, like I was so
excited, like I never hadnothing like that a day of my
life.
And he booked us like this,like couple massage.
(03:48):
And let me tell you I don't knowif I ever told you all about
that time I got a massage.
It felt like I got beat thefuck up.
But this second time aroundthey did.
They think you know what I'msaying.
It wasn't too rough because Igot telling people liked,
because I had asked for mediumpressure last time is light
pressure, because you know I'mlike skin.
I bruise easy.
My skin soft.
You gotta rip it soft.
(04:09):
You can't, you can't be roughwith me.
Okay, take your time, nigga,take your time.
So you know I'm rubbing us down.
We hold hands and shit wheremotherfuckers you know is
rubbing us down, like gettingour massages and shit.
And so he had me wait.
He told me to like hold on fora second, you know, like get
(04:32):
like give me a look.
You know they had like goodglasses of champagne down there.
So he was like you wait here.
And I got a surprise in theroom and then you come up and
buy a couple of minutes.
I'm like okay, like I said whatelse is this nigga got?
You know, I'm sad.
Like he already decorated themotherfucking room and so he
calls me.
Tell me to come up there.
I get up there.
(04:54):
I get up there.
Why is it a makeup partysitting there, a dress on a be
and this nigga me a heartnecklace.
This is my manner away.
This man is this man and pickedout an outfit for me to wear,
then paid the motherfucking M?
(05:14):
U way to come, beat mymotherfucking face to take me
out to dinner.
I said, wow, this, this is whatI'm talking about.
See, this is a definite.
This is the true definition.
If, if he wanted to, he wouldyou understand if that nigga
want to do that shit.
(05:35):
He gonna do that shit.
You don't gotta ask that.
You don't really have to askthey need to do that shit.
He gonna do that shit if hefuck with you him.
So then you know, well, I endup getting ready the makeup
artist.
They might make up in everything.
They might hear you like real,real cute.
I'm still rocking the mini twiz, but you know I did it.
(05:55):
I put in a little cute littleup.
Dude, you know I'm saying hehad gay and he ain't got me a
little dressed the way and Ihave some heels and he's like
we're gonna go out to eat and Iwas like where we going, say
it's a surprise, this nigga isfull of fucking surprises y'all.
So are my life, this nigga on mysoul?
This nigga is full of surprises.
This nigga pull up to know boo,I say now you know you can't
(06:20):
act like you ain't ever beenover.
You know I ain't ever been away.
So I'm like I'm like you ain'tlike, you really like me, like
you want to eat my cookie.
Then I wait like okay.
So we, you know we got a number.
We have a great time y'all, wehave a great time.
We're not gonna get into theseother way end up happening for
the rest of the night.
(06:40):
I'm sure we're grown.
Here you guys can put two andtwo together like it just was a
good time and I love my man.
Like it feels so good to be,you know, appreciated.
You know I'm saying like justreally feel the love and the
energy, like the motherfuckerreally fuck with you.
I just really enjoyed that.
(07:01):
I'm fucking bullshit.
I need to do a goddamn thing ofValentine's Day.
I took a motherfucking nap onthe couch and and tried to get
honey not to lick me in mymotherfucking mouth because we
was face to face.
I made that up a lot.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I'm fucking sorry.
I, I don't know, I don't.
(07:21):
I told you, I told you I can'tbe fucking trusted.
They go.
What was that believable?
Did you believe me?
Did you think like that, thatall of that stuff happened?
Like I just made it up?
I fucking made it up.
None of that shit happened.
I was dead sitting in my livingroom watching the Braxton's
(07:42):
family values and went to fuckto sleep and I had to turn my
back to my dog because she kepttrying to lick me in the mouth
with a little freaky ass.
I told I'm not into that shit.
But she don't fucking listennasty.
I told I don't, I don't do that.
She a freak dog.
(08:02):
The baby took is like girl.
What the fuck is you on?
A whole lot of bullshit, awhole lot of, a whole lot of, a
whole lot of, a whole lot of awhole lot of bullshit, bullshit,
whole lot of bullshit, bullshit.
That just is what it is.
But you know but?
But that's actually did happen.
(08:23):
This is the real.
When my friend nation listenedto this, she gonna be like bitch
.
That shit is a.
That motherfucking is a liartween.
You already fucking know wherehave you been.
You know I be fucking lying.
Sometime, bro, I gotta get thisrid up off me.
But y'all, I end up going outwith my friend nation.
She, she took me out to ourfavorite little Mexican
restaurant.
(08:43):
This actually did happen.
We had Michael readers.
We key, key.
It was a nice time.
This was before valet time.
They saw, on the day ofValentine's Day, that's when I
took that nap on that couch, meand my couch.
We've been going together realbad.
You know I'm saying likesometimes I don't even want to
get in the bed, I just get up onthat full time and I do what it
do you know?
I mean you watch.
(09:03):
I've been getting busy on thecouch.
So yeah, that was pretty muchmy valet times day.
I hope that everybody enjoyedtheir valet times day and that
you know, y'all was, y'all waspartying or y'all was doing,
y'all or y'all was justcomfortable.
Whatever happened that day,whether whether y'all celebrated
or y'all, or y'all didn't ornot, it was my cousin birthday.
(09:26):
Shout out to my cousin Jackie,I love you, baby.
And it was my last techbirthday.
Shout out to Lee I fucking loveyou.
It is what it is big.
I fuck with you.
So, yeah, it's a lot of queries.
It's a lot of queries is around.
I don't know.
I love little queries is, buty'all do not know what y'all
want to do.
Y'all are so undecided.
Is it undecided or undecided?
Y'all can't make y'all fuckingmind up.
(09:48):
Don't do me.
You know I'm dyslexic.
So, anyway, is this messy?
Is this messy?
And I asked y'all this on myInstagram.
So I want to know.
I want to know what y'all thinkit's gonna.
It's a poll currently up on myInstagram and I want y'all to.
When y'all get done, go to mylife is a joke podcast.
Instagram in vote.
(10:09):
Am I messy?
Am I the drama?
Okay?
So I was on tiktok.
You know I stay there, you knowI live on tiktok now and it's
this, it's this dude that I usedto talk to and I seen that he
posted like that he got married.
(10:30):
And when I my first initiallike thought, when I seen it,
when I sent the shit was oh mygod, congratulations.
You know I'm saying like andlike.
I typed it and I commented onthe video oh my goodness, like
congratulations.
And then I thought about it andI said, damn, was that messy?
Because I really was comingfrom a genuine place in my heart
(10:52):
.
I promise you it would know illwill in my heart.
I was not.
You know, I'm not one of them.
Grimy ass, nigga, even though Ijust lied to y'all for like 10
minutes straight.
That's called acting.
That's, I'm in my acting bag,I'm in my acting era.
Nigga, don't hold that againstme.
Forgive me because I forgiveyou.
I love you, but am I messy forthat?
Because I really I reallycouldn't tell like.
(11:13):
I asked a couple of my friendsand they were like no, I don't
think they make you messy, but Iknow some people might feel
some kind of way about it.
And then I was like I start thesecond guess and I'm like, damn
, maybe I shouldn't sit there.
Then I went on my tiktok and seethat he filled my profile.
I'm like, damn, hold on, buddy,you got to be faithful.
I don't want you, I want you tobe with that one man, I want
(11:35):
you to be with that woman.
He don't fuck with me like that.
Anyway, we was just, and thething was, when we was talking
it was really like like Ithought he was cute and for sure
he fought with me.
He thought you know, you're notthe motherfucking that I was
fine too, like way, like, lookat me, period.
So I'm just like you know we'refucking with each other.
But you know it was like niggasmet on tiktok.
(11:56):
How serious is it?
You know we had a couple offace time cards but it was never
nothing like.
It was never nothing likeserious as hell.
So yeah, I just wanted to makesure I wasn't the messy Bob, you
know, because I'd be trying youknow I really be trying a
little hosting life.
That might be a littlecontradicting, but y'all gotta
(12:17):
let that hurt go.
Y'all got to let that hurt go.
I told y'all me my acting bad,but I'm just like.
You know I was like damn likeit.
You know it kind of fucked meup for a little bit cuz I said
damn Like I don't wantmotherfuckers be like, oh, who's
that the cop being on yourpigeon?
You know motherfuckers gottaexplain shit.
You know, now I'm too, I'mthinking too.
I'm probably thinking too muchabout it.
That ain't even under mybusiness.
I just was really for no, forreal.
(12:39):
Y'all like real life baby Jokeis, I realized, was like happy
for that nigga.
You know I'm saying like Shoutout to that brother and that
sister, it's black history man.
I can't hate on black loveright now, the fuck, not right,
and not even right now.
I don't do that shit, not ever.
They look happy and shit.
I was like I was genuinelyhappy and I said damn, I hope
(13:00):
they don't make me aware thisbitch, cuz I'm really not trying
to be aware.
Though you know I'm saying thaty'all got a song called where
the house and I don't want to beone of them he said you be
seconded for cloud.
I think he said that on thissong I won't be doing it.
I Don't be doing it.
Why would he say that youwouldn't talk about me.
(13:23):
He won't talk about me.
But yeah, like, I just wantedto know, like go follow my
Instagram if Is that messy ornot?
Cuz I don't, I don't think so,but you know, I also could be
wrong, cuz I've been wrongbefore.
So look, now this actually didhappen.
(13:45):
So this week I was at work andSometimes I do stuff to spike
shit up in my life, and it doesin the things that I do.
It doesn't necessarily makesense, it's just, you know, I
just be doing shit.
You know I'm saying cuz little.
What's the name of the podcast?
My life is a fucking joke, okay.
Okay, I just like to sometimesshit get a little boring in my
(14:09):
life.
I'm like, or I need some littleaction.
You know I'll mix some shit up,I'll stir some shit up, but you
know not to like not on someweird shit, but just, you know
I'll just shake some shit up.
So I was at work the other dayand this guy you know cuz, you
know, you know niggas work up atthis, though and this guy had
rolled up on me, you know, and amother, and a mother of those,
(14:31):
you know, motorized carts thatyou, you know, put your
groceries and shit in.
He asked me, like, where's theglass bowls?
And so you know I got them.
You know I showed him where theglass bowls was and everything.
And you know, like you know,just helping out.
You know just helping thecustomer, cuz I have great
customer service.
You know I love to.
I'm not gonna even say thatthat Moving on, cuz I was gonna,
(14:56):
I'm gonna sell you.
I was gonna say I provide goodcustomer service, moving on
anyway.
So, with that being said, youknow I'm gonna show them where
the glass bowls was.
That because that's what he waslooking for.
And he was like, can you hearme one of them spoons out there?
You know I give him, you know,cuz he's sitting in a cart, so I
just, like you know, I'll goahead and get the spoon for him.
(15:16):
And so while I'm, like you know, showing him like the different
glass bowls and stuff, hecompliments me and says, oh my
gosh, like your freckles are.
So they're like you have reallycute freckles, like you really
have nice freckles, like they'readorable.
And he probably complimented melike three times about it and I
said, oh, thank you, thank you,and this is the thing about me.
(15:40):
It's so crazy.
I never really know when peoplelike me because Because him
complimenting me about myfreckles on the gang, I thought
the man was a guy, thought hewas a gay man and let me, let me
paint the seat, let me pay tosee he was a.
He's an older black man, biglike he's.
(16:01):
He's like I don't know how tallhe was, cuz he was in that car,
but for sure he's taller thanme.
I'm five, eight and he wasn'tlike no fat guy, he was like a
big buff guy and he was olderand he had, like you know, nice
little watch on, like nicelittle like silver chain
bracelet on and you know, likehis clothes was in need.
You know, it's Like he lookednice like, very like, like he
(16:26):
kept up with himself and not tosay that if a man keeps over
Themself and the parents, thatthat makes him gay.
No, but when you compliment meon my freckles, that's a very
specific calm, you knowcompliment and I'm just like,
okay, like you know I'm, I Saidthank you and so you know, at
(16:49):
the end of you know, after I getdone helping them with
everything you know, I askedmyself Do you need help with
anything else this man says Ineed help with a lot of things.
I said what the hell you did?
I'm like, what the hell you hit?
What the fuck you?
What else do you need?
Like what's going on?
It's almost.
(17:09):
I just want to let you know.
They're like you're really,really beautiful and you know I
was just I would love if youcould, you know, cuz I need a
lot of help.
I need a lot of help.
I said you do, and I'm like youknow I appreciate a compliment.
I'm not never gonna turn oncompliment down, I'm always
appreciative.
I say thank you, cuz niggas,niggas be killing niggas.
You know niggas be killingbitches if you, you say the
(17:31):
wrong shit to him.
So I'm trying to talk cute to anigga, cuz I don't have time to
be dead and shit For real.
You know I'm not.
You tell nigga no, they readyto lay your ass out.
What now?
Hey, I'm not here now.
Anyway, back to the story.
And so this man, this man, isstarting to flirt with me and
(17:53):
I'm, like you know, I'mentertaining it Because like,
like I said, I do certain shitin my life just to like spice
this shit up.
You know I'm saying hmm, and sohe was.
I like you should.
You should put my number inyour phone.
I said I should.
He's like yeah, you know.
So, like you know, so you knowI can call you sometimes so I
(18:16):
can hear something soft before Igo to sleep.
I said you want her something.
So I was like, yeah, I want her.
No nigga voice before I go tosleep.
I was how.
The last thing I want to do isyour bitch was on the phone
before I go.
Sometimes I talk to my.
I'm just playing, but you knowwhat I'm saying.
Like I get it sounds like youknow.
(18:36):
I'm like, okay, cool.
And then what does the fuck hesay?
Um, what the fuck that man.
See, that is the truth.
I promise you cuz you know, youdon't you, that when I was
lying, that shit Was justflowing out.
When the truth comes, you knowyou got to remember certain shit
, because this shit actually,yeah, like bitch, we don't trust
(18:56):
a goddamn thing.
Y'all ask me fucking scene.
Come on, bro, back to the storyanyway.
So he was all like, yeah, youshould put your number, you
should let you know, put mynumber in your phone, so you
know we could.
You know I could call you andwe maybe we can go out and
because I still be having fun.
And I said, well, well, how oldare you?
He's like I'm probably oldenough to be your uncle.
(19:18):
I said, well, yo ass, probablyis.
But how old are you?
Because you that wasn't noanswer to my question.
He said he said I'm 41.
I said okay, and you know, for41 he looked at good, you know,
he looked good for 41, you know,beautiful chocolate skin, like
you know, like he it was verymuch so giving grown man, it was
(19:42):
very much so giving older man.
So, I'm okay.
He was like yeah, you know I waslike so what do you like to do
for fun?
He was like oh, I love to go tothe movies.
I like to go out hanging outwith my friends this, this and
this.
Sometimes I like to go on rides.
So in my mind, when I heard himsay that he like to go on rides
, I'm like oh, like you have amotorcycle or something.
He's like no, like I just liketo.
(20:04):
You know, just get in the carand just ride around and you
know, listen to music, likestuff like that.
I said okay, he was like but Ialso got a drop top convertible,
I can come pick you up in.
And it was so funny when he saidthat shit because it was just I
like what is this like?
Not to say that drop topconvertibles is up?
You know a thing of the past.
(20:24):
But it's like he's an older mantrying to give my attention and
he gave like what am I tryingto say?
It gave like 90s, like R&Bmovie or some shit, like it
didn't feel really gave scripted.
You know I'm saying like nigga,you really saying this shit to
me, like you're gonna come pickme up in your drop top
(20:45):
convertible.
Is it read too Cuz?
Like, is it a rag top?
Is it red?
Like like you know, I'm sayingmy folks coming to pick you up
in the drop top Provideable.
I'm like and I just thought itwas funny that he was saying it.
So I was like okay, so I end upgiving you know.
I never, like you know, puttinghis number in my phone, not
text them.
And like you know, let me knowit was me.
(21:07):
Okay, cool, whatever.
And he was out like um, whattime you get off work?
I said I get off work at 10,excuse me.
He was like okay, well, I'maway a little bit.
I'm calling you tonight, it'sokay, cool, I get home, they
can't call me.
So I say, well, shit, I ain'treally too much worried about
I'm feeling a bit so likesometime in the middle of the
(21:30):
night he takes me and he was, Iend up.
I find he was like I eventuallyend up dozing off, but I'll
call you.
In the morning I said, okay, Ididn't respond to his message,
so I'm cuz, I'm thinking likewhen I wake up in the morning
they just gone call.
I didn't respond to his message, so he didn't end up calling, I
guess.
So I didn't talk to him thatmorning.
(21:50):
So I was back at work and I washaving like a real bad day at
work and I just had wanted tocomplain to somebody.
That's all it was.
You know, I just wanted tocomplain.
So I text him and I said hey.
And so instantly when I texthim, he, um, he calls me and so
I'm asked you know, I answeredthe phone and he was like hey.
(22:12):
And I was like hey, how youdoing?
You know we're talking orwhatever, and like he's really
Trying his hardest to like woome.
And that's something that I'venoticed with like older men.
When you try to talk to themLike they're, they're very much
so.
Like I want you to be my woman,I want to love on you Like I'm,
(22:34):
like I really I'm ready for youto be my wife.
Like they started inserting youInto their lives and like y'all
doing shit, and I'm not liketalking like like sick, we like
being married, like shit likethat, or going on tricks like
shit like that, like that's whatthey be talking about, so
that's what he on the phonedoing.
Like you know, I would love.
You know, you know, you know hetrying to say she's I'm just
(22:55):
trying to make you smile, I'mjust trying to make you laugh,
you know, make you feel better,cuz you said you was having a
not a good, so I'm not having agood day, this, this and that,
and you know, but he was doingthat so much like he really was
landing on thick and I'm likedamn, like the nigga trying to
woo me so bad.
Like I just wouldn't have aregular as conversation with the
(23:15):
nigga.
Like let's talk about someregular shit.
You know, I'm saying, like whatyou do today, like when you
working, like what you know,let's talk about some other shit
.
Like I don't want to constantlytalk about.
You Wanted to be with me, oneto be in love with me.
I don't want to talk about thisshit all day long because I, if
I didn't want to talk to yourass, if I didn't want to
entertain this shit, I wouldn'tnever Gave put your number, my
(23:37):
phone texture, I would never didnone of this shit.
I wouldn't even let you give meyour number.
I Wouldn't even did it becauseI would have been like, nah, I
really don't get my.
You know, I'm saying like youknow, I just wouldn't.
It did all it.
You got my attention Cuz, likeI said, I like to spice shit up
sometimes.
So I'm like okay, um, so youknow, I ended up changing the
(23:59):
subject.
So I asked him.
I said what's your sign?
I Don't know why niggas get sofucking mad or irritated or
annoyed when you ask thisfucking question.
Like, look, nigga, I'm not themotherfucker that's reading the
stores and doing all of thisother shit.
I just want to know what it is.
And once I ask you what it is,i'ma leave it alone.
(24:19):
I'm not finna, go back andforth with you about your son.
I'm not doing all of that.
I'm just asking you a basicquestion because I want to know
more about you.
That's it, cuz after I got doneanswering, asking what's his
sign, all he had to do wasanswer that shit.
And then I probably gonna askhim something else and we was
gonna have another conversationabout something else.
I asked this man, is he's like Iwant my Sagittarius?
(24:41):
I saw I loved that for you, andthen I was gonna move on.
And so then he was like, well,you know, that's not really
christian, lee, and you know, asa godly man, you know that
really goes against what youknow, goes against the Bible and
God.
And you know that I Kind offeels like I kind of feel like,
(25:01):
you know, the zodiac signs don'thave nothing to do with like
relationships and this, this andthat.
And Then niggas started tryingto give me a fucking lesson and
one thing about it, and twothings for sure.
I'm a student always, but Ididn't ask for that.
You know I'm saying now we kindof gave like I'm talking to my
(25:25):
daddy on the phone, like youknow.
I'm saying like you, you tryingto teach a nigga son, and I
ain't asked you to teach me agoddamn thing, I'm just trying
to have a conversation with yourass.
You know I'm saying and mything is I my bad, y'all, it
took me difficulties.
They be saying, like you know,always read the Bible and you
(25:47):
know, learn it for yourself,learn the words yourself, this,
this and that.
So I don't take things thatpeople say about the Bible or
about God Like not that I don'ttake it seriously, I just don't.
I haven't got to that part ofthe Bible yet.
I ain't got to that chapter yetwhen they say don't do this,
it's they don't do that I ain'tgot to.
(26:08):
But once I get there, then okayand I like to learn and do my
own research about other things.
But, like I said, I never askedyou about, I just asked you
what your son was.
We were gonna leave it.
I promise you I was gonna leaveit.
Be right where it was there.
So after he, like you know, gaveme this whole lecture about
like the fucking Zodiacs and howyou know it's not right and
(26:30):
it's not christianly, and this,this and that, I'm like I'm kind
of over the conversation now,like I'm kind of over it, like
I'm over it.
So now, like we moving on, thenigga is steady trying to like,
trying to womb me, you're stilltrying to womb me, still trying
to talk about us being together,this, this, and that I'm like
(26:50):
his name was Cameron.
I said, cameron, bro, I'malready on the phone, bro, you
ain't got to do all that.
You do not have to do all that,let's talk about something else
.
And so, like we ended uptalking about small talk, like
we did some more small talk Iwas not even there alone, cause
I was less than 20 minutes, itwas actually like 18 minutes and
but you know, after that pointof the conversation, I kind of
(27:11):
was over Cameron, cause, youknow, I was like okay, like I
kind of feel like you'reoverdoing it, babe, like it was
never even that serious, likeyou know, but to each his own,
like I, I respect how you feel,but I didn't ever ask for that.
You know what I mean.
And then, like, like I said, Iwas never really going to take
Cameron serious, because metalking to Cameron kind of goes
(27:33):
against my, my, my personalbeliefs.
Okay, I don't feel like 20,anything should be talking to 40
, anything like 40, nothing.
Like there is no way.
Like I really don't believe inage gap relationships because I
feel like they're onlytransactional.
Like what, what is it that Ican gain from being with you.
(27:53):
You're probably cause you'revery like, cause you know.
He ended up telling me what hedid.
He had money or an everything.
So I'm like okay, you'refinancially stable, you can pay
my bills.
So in return, what am I givingyou?
Pussy?
You want some young cat?
That's what it is You're.
(28:14):
You're trying to paint it andwrap it up as it's love, like
you're a wife.
No, nigga, you want to fuck me,bro.
That's what it is.
That's what it is.
That's why I don't believe inthose kinds of relationships,
because they're strictlytransactional.
Now, if that's what you chooseto do, that's that's your
business.
But that's not nothing that Iwould do.
I would never be with somebodyolder like that.
(28:34):
I think the max I'll go is 10,and even still, that's kind of
pushing me.
So I'm just like I'm kind ofgood on you, buddy.
I'm kind of good on you, buddy.
So, yeah, like I was never, butlike that's what I'm saying,
I'd be just doing shit, and I'mlike I had new like.
(28:54):
You know how men say.
Men say like, oh, I knew thatthat was going to be the person
I was going to be with.
Like she was the one, this,this and this, bro.
Women know the same fuckingthing, bro.
Like I knew that, well, weweren't going to be doing.
I knew that, well, you weren'tgoing to come pick me up in the
drop talk of her to a bitch.
I wasn't going to get in there.
I had already knew I'm notgoing.
I'm not going, I just be likean aspect of my shit up content.
(29:19):
I'm a content girlie, that'sjust what it is.
But I've been doing this shitbefore.
I was even doing a podcast andeverything I would just do like
little random shit, and so thatwas the little random thing that
I did this space my week.
Talk to her for your man, andthat was it Okay, and so moving
(29:42):
on y'all.
I don't know what is going on,but young boy dropped a single
and when I tell you, thismotherfucker go, this
motherfucker got crack in it.
This is the only song I've beenlistening to every day for a
(30:03):
couple of days in a row, likewhen I listen.
I think I told you that when Ilisten to music on repeat.
That's just what it is One songall day long.
I'm only listening one song forhours at a time and I don't
mind.
I love it, just that much.
The motherfucking song be nextto be next to Reaper.
(30:24):
Oh my God, young boy puts hispussy in it.
Let me start playing withKendrick.
He'll fight me for that.
You know he's a real dangerousguy.
Anyway, I wrote his lyrics downbecause you know I'm back.
You know I tried to be like alittle R&B girlie.
I try to listen to the sad rap.
You know what I'm saying.
I feel the right way, don't getme wrong.
(30:45):
I'm tired.
I'm tired.
I'm tired to be on mymotherfucking fillers.
It's time to turn this shit upback to the motherfucking murder
music.
Okay, that's what I fuck with,you know.
And so when he came out withthis song be next to Reaper I
said I got to make this the wisewords of the week, the song of
the motherfucking week.
(31:06):
But I'm going to go ahead andread a couple of these lyrics,
because I said damn, why me?
But you be going hard on theniggas.
He said I met yourmotherfucking back door trying
to hit at your throat like thesehollows or razors.
Oh my God, control.
I loved it.
Then he said fuck all theseniggas.
(31:27):
I'm ready to kill him.
I promise nobody can save him.
Life of a villain.
I'm ready, let's get it, let'sdo it.
I'm coming to slay him.
Control my dog.
Where you been?
Boy, boy, boy.
Then he said they talking thatshit.
I'm not.
He was like what he saying, no,I'm just legs.
(31:49):
And now give me a second.
They just be talking that shit,but I'm having my way in this
bitch like a player.
I love you.
He's so creative.
Anyway, this episode is probablygoing to be a little choppy
because the audio has stopped.
The camera has stopped.
(32:09):
I don't know what's going on,but we pushed through.
We got through.
We got a 30 plus minute episode.
I'm proud of us.
Okay, let's go ahead.
Let's wrap it up for the camera, in for the camera.
Okay, I want to thank y'all forlistening.
If y'all are on listeningplatforms, please make sure that
you rate the podcast and leavea review.
If you're watching, please makesure that you like, comment and
(32:30):
subscribe and click thenotification bell.
Make sure y'all comment.
Comment which idea forValentine's Day?
Comment.
If y'all slept on the couch andalmost had your dog lick y'all
in the mouth.
Period.
Make sure that y'all share me,share the share the podcast,
group chat.
Three or more.
Three or more, three or more.
All right, y'all, and Iappreciate y'all.
(32:52):
I want to thank y'all forlistening, I want to thank y'all
for watching and I'm justtrying to change the world one
joke at a time.
Salute, peace out, bye.
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