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January 24, 2025 36 mins

What gives you the ICK? Ever been trapped in an empty lobby, only to have someone sit right next to you? You're not alone! Join us as we laugh through the relatable quirks of public spaces that drive us all up the wall, from the orchestra of loud eaters to those who park just a smidge too close for comfort. We'll share some of our tried-and-true strategies for staying sane in these situations and laugh about how our childhood food aversions have hilariously done a 180 into our adult favorites.

On a completely different note, let's unwrap some wild strip club tales that promise both hilarity and heart. Picture a club with a pirate ship façade and a duo of the best wings you've ever tasted as we recount stories from behind the bar and the fascinating people we've met along the way. We even take a fun detour into the world of playful stripper names and reveal anecdotes from a documentary project in Tampa that shines a light on this misunderstood industry, complete with some unforgettable interactions.

Our adventure wouldn’t be complete without a dash of spice from the sex-positive world. Expect amusing stories like a Christmas lingerie gift gone rogue and the joy of bonding over "happy mail" exchanges within our community. We wrap it all up with self-love reminders and a cheeky offer of a sticker for surviving our episodes without needing a bathroom break. So, settle in for a rollercoaster of laughter, insight, and empowerment!

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Jen (00:00):
So, jen, we've talked about all kinds of happy things with
you and we've talked about, youknow, things that bring you joy.
We've done a lot.
Now I want to know what givesyou the it Public spaces, when
you're out, when people placethings.
What gives you the?

Andi (00:14):
it.
So many things, so many things.
My biggest one is I cannot, forthe life of me, stand the sound
of people eating, cannot standit.
If you are remotely near me andI hear you nibbling on
something, your teeth hittingthe fork, I literally want to
jump and just take that fork andput it in your forehead.

(00:35):
I really do.
I'm so sorry.
Tell us how you really feel.

Jen (00:40):
Eat crunchy food, I will have so many forks in my head.
I only eat crunchy food whenI'm eating many forks in my head
.

Andi (00:45):
I only eat crunchy food when I'm eating with people.
I do find in restaurants wehave music, we have noise.
When I'm at home it's so quiet.
What I started doing is, whenmy husband's not home, I turn on
Alexa and I play music.
He does not like that.
When he's home, I turn on theTV in the other room and I leave
it playing, because as long asI have that noise going, it
keeps me calm.

(01:05):
I don't want to kill people.
Yeah, wrestling chips I hearyou like digging in the chips.

Ali (01:10):
I'm like just pour the chips into a bowl.
I don't like smacking like that, I can't handle.
And talking with your mouthopen I don't like that either.

Linnea (01:17):
Like I'm a please.
I don't like the fork sound, myfather-in-law doesn't, and it's
like.

Jen (01:23):
It's like fingernails on a chalkboard yeah, that, yeah mine
is sucking of the teeth, I justwant to knock your teeth
through the back of your throat.
You just spend like a wholehour just like get some gloss,
get a water, pick, work yourteeth do everything but suck
your teeth for 45 stress minutes.
What are we doing?

Linnea (01:43):
what are we?

Jen (01:43):
doing the first time.
It was cool.
You're enjoying it the secondtime and now we're on the hour
post meal.
You're enjoying it again andyou're sliding it around in your
mouth with your tongue and Iget to watch it and I don't like
that and I'll just watch you.

Andi (01:57):
No, I, I hear you and exactly I have crooked teeth.
Stuff gets stuck in there.
I hate sandwiches in publicbecause then I feel like I have
to go to the bathroom.
But that's the thing.
Go to the you went to.

Jen (02:09):
You went to the bathroom where people do those things and
look at their teeth.
You're not just at the tablewhile someone is eating, just
elbow deep in your mouth holetrying to get whatever out of
your molar like it's just toomuch, too much.

Linnea (02:24):
Oh, my god, oh my God, my, it is in public.
I can't stand people that gettoo close to me, don't.

Andi (02:29):
That was going to be mine yes not ever.

Jen (02:31):
I don't.

Linnea (02:32):
I don't want you.
I don't want to feel yourbreath on the back of my neck.
Like, so real, how about?

Ali (02:39):
when people come up to your face when they're talking to
you like even like friends.
I would not care about friends,but in public.
When you just met me, thishappened a lot during COVID and
I felt like people were tryingto make a statement.
But when they get up right inyour face talking to you and I'm
like you don't need to be thatclose enough to keep you all in
your.

Linnea (02:57):
You have to sit by me when there's six chairs across
the lobby that's empty, withnobody else.
Why do you sit by me when it'sjust the two of us in the lobby?

Jen (03:06):
so it starts for me in the parking lot.
Why did you park that to me?
It would be a whole parking lotfull of empty parking spaces,
and then I will.
Starts there, right next to me,but a whole bunch of empty
parking spaces, 105 parkingspaces that are empty.
You chose right next to me, why?

Andi (03:25):
and then then we get into the doctor's office and now back
up, back up, top of them,parking right next to you.
They come in at like that weirdangle and they're angled right
at you.

Linnea (03:35):
So you can barely even get in yeah, they're like a
psychopath.

Andi (03:38):
I used to have a lot of things you.
You would leave little notesand tell something I have that
Say you are like a shit personor something.

Ali (03:50):
It's like cuter than that.
I have them and you can putthem on people's car.
I got them for Christmas.

Andi (03:56):
I think I need a little Snoopy doing a big old poop.

Linnea (03:59):
Make sure not to park by Jenny.

Andi (04:02):
Yeah, we'll have cards.

Jen (04:04):
What food did you hate as a child but you love now as an
adult?
What food mine is?
Brussels sprouts.
Hated them, shit.
This kid loved them now andyeah hated asparagus.

Linnea (04:16):
I did not like the texture or anything and my
husband made some and I'm like Imade him buy asparagus
yesterday the store because Iwas craving it.
Now Like I crave it now.

Andi (04:27):
I do.
Second, though, the Brusselssprouts and the asparagus and
the sweet potatoes.
I didn't like any of that.
As a kid, my mom would makeThanksgiving.
I thought it was disgusting.

Jen (04:39):
I love them all now, especially air fried.
Wait, asparagus forThanksgiving Kill Paul's hair,
but that's not traditionallyblack.
So now I'm intrigued.
Asparagus for ThanksgivingKilled paws there, but that's
not traditionally black so nowI'm intrigued.

Andi (04:46):
Asparagus for Thanksgiving .
Yeah, at our house she wouldget out all the meat, cheese and
pickles and snacks, but shewould steam asparagus.
We'd also have mashed potatoesand gravy, we'd have sweet
potatoes, like all thetraditional things, but she did
steam asparagus.
Hmm.

Jen (05:01):
I didn't know that.

Andi (05:03):
I never did no yeah.

Jen (05:05):
But she did the steamed asparagus I never did.
No, yeah, I think that is veryforeign to me.
That is so foreign to me.

Ali (05:10):
We just do like roasted veggies for Thanksgiving, but
I've never done just asparagus.
I love asparagus.

Linnea (05:15):
I love it now, like this is my zone.

Jen (05:18):
I'm learning something.
What do you do for Thanksgiving?

Linnea (05:20):
Aline, we do turkey.
Mashed potatoes corn casserolewe're from Kansas.
Potatoes corn casserole we'refrom Kansas, so we're casserole
people, but it's corn casserole,it's got macaroni cheese corn,
cream, corn, that kind of stuff,basic sweet potatoes without
marshmallows.

Jen (05:37):
I was introduced to casseroles in the military.
I didn't know what casserolewas until I was about 20 years
old.
I'm very unfamiliar with themashed potato thing at
Thanksgiving.
That's a new thing.

Linnea (05:46):
We're big mashed potatoes, no.

Jen (05:49):
So standard Thanksgiving for me.
We have dressing, we have thestarches, but it's not a mashed
potato.
We'll have the sweet potatoesand it'll be diabetes in the pan
, like real talk.
Delicious, yum, yum, caroni,that'll probably clog all of
your arteries.
Same, how's the vegetables?
But they're not roasted.

(06:09):
So there's going to be somecollards.
Now it's kale, because we'retrying to be a little bit
healthier, you know, maybebecause a lot of my people died
of heart disease, so maybe wedecided we were going to do this
a little bit better in myfamily.

Ali (06:21):
Just go around asparagus.

Jen (06:22):
I didn't get introduced to that until I don't know I was in
my degree.
Program would be.
In truth.
I'm like what is this asparagusshenanigans had never seen it,
had never tasted it untilprobably 24 25.
I'm like this thing exists andI actually like it.

Ali (06:36):
Mine was wrapped in in bacon, though before I went
vegan, yeah mine, was wrapped inbacon it's so have you not had
it wrapped in bacon?
At restaurants they do it.

Linnea (06:45):
So good, I'm going to have to tell you.
He does Parmesan cheese andgarlic and he puts it in our
pizza oven in the cast iron, tocook.
Oh my gosh.

Jen (06:56):
Have him wrap it, have him still season it, that way.

Linnea (06:59):
Have him.

Jen (06:59):
Wrap it in bacon yeah.
Wrinkle the Parmesan on topyeah, put it in the old pizza
thing.

Linnea (07:08):
I'm living by Carrie.
I need to have him go thaw someelk steaks out now because that
sounds really good with it.

Andi (07:14):
We'll take the asparagus and put cream cheese all over
ham and then wrap the asparagusinside of the ham Like cooked,
like steamed.

Linnea (07:22):
Or just raw, pickled, pickled, pickled, pickled.
Oh okay, love pickled asparagus.
I've never had it, I haven't.

Jen (07:29):
Cream cheese.

Linnea (07:30):
Does it taste pickly?

Jen (07:31):
And ham.
You lost me at the cream cheeseand ham portion.

Ali (07:34):
Same.
I don't really eat ham.

Andi (07:37):
I love pickles but I don't really care for other things
pickled, so to me it's not mykind of thing.
But I know my mother-in-lawloves it Funeral potatoes so
I've never had funeral potatoes,but I've had bereavement
spaghetti.

Jen (07:50):
Because Black people, that's what we're going to bring
.
Somebody dies.
We're bringing you masticoli,some penne.
Why?
Because you can stretch it.
You could feed your wholefamily.

Ali (07:58):
We do bereavement pasta.

Andi (08:07):
The funeral potatoes?
I've never heard about that.
Is that like the round?
It's like picture, like hashbrowns okay, what else do they
put in there?

Linnea (08:11):
I've never seen this before.
It's like a cheesy thing here.
Let me find it.

Andi (08:15):
This looks like mac and cheese.
It has onion, hash browns,condensed cream of chicken soup,
sour cream or plain Greekyogurt, parmesan cheese, salt
and pepper, sharp cheddar cheeseand, to top it all off, when
you bake it and you want thiscrunchy on the top crushed
cornflakes cereal or pankobreadcrumbs.

Linnea (08:32):
My mother-in-law makes that, but that's not.

Jen (08:35):
This is going to sound real racist and I don't mean it to
sound racist.
But what is with the crunchingof the cereal, the cornflakes,
on stuff, guys, and baking it?
Like my mind, I can'tconceptualize what is the
cornflake for?
Okay, because it doesn't addflavor.

Linnea (08:50):
It's not a seasoning, like where you put panko
breadcrumbs on things to make itcrust, that crunchy.
I guess cornflakes as you canbuy them cheaper that might be a
.
Is that a Midwestern thing?
I feel like that's aMidwesternern thing.

(09:11):
I think it's a midwestern thing.
Yeah, that's, that's something.
They served it at our churchpotluck on sundays when people
would bring.

Andi (09:13):
The older ladies would cook stuff like that.
So have you never had fried icecream?

Linnea (09:15):
god, I love fried ice cream no, it literally is fried
with this crunchy sweet, almostlike like they roll corn flakes
they roll it.

Andi (09:25):
So they freeze it like deep, deep is that, and they and
they roll it in cereal croutons.

Ali (09:30):
Basically, well, I've had ice cream with corn flakes in it
, like cereal, like frosted onthe ice cream, is no freeze,
roll it in there, flash cook itreal quick it's very quick and
you get it at a lot of themexican restaurants around here
whipped, the whipped cream, thestrawberry, the chocolate.

Andi (09:47):
Never had that.

Linnea (09:48):
I haven't had that for years.

Andi (09:49):
We did it every year for our kids' birthdays.

Linnea (09:51):
It's so good.

Andi (09:53):
Make sombrero bring out the fried eggs, Did they say
churros.

Jen (09:59):
What was the question?
They have churros too.
They do.
I freaking love churros.
Churros are great.

Linnea (10:04):
It's Taco Tuesday, by the way, so if you're really
we're going to go get tacos atthe gas station, I'm having a
7-Eleven price match day.

Jen (10:11):
So if you have the 7-Eleven app, if you don't, if you have
a 7-Eleven by you, it's 7-Elevengas price lock-in day, sent off
the gallon plus you get to lockin that rate for the next 48
hours.
But you don't have a 7-elevenby you.
But if you did, you know wehave.

Linnea (10:30):
I think there's some in phoenix still, but where they're
at they are not neighborhoods Iwant to go to well I don't
blame you the ones I know of oh,were you.

Jen (10:41):
So I was at dav Mothin in Tucson and then my nephew was in
Phoenix.
Um, here's the thing themilitary knows what they're
doing when they they built theseinstallations because they buy
them in the most um,underdeveloped, higher crime
places because the property ischeaper and they can get a whole
lot of land.
It's horrible how they do it.

(11:03):
So I can understand where yougo.
There are some places I don'twant to go, because there were
some places I didn't want to goand I had to live there.
I also here's an interestingfact for you, jen Are you ready?
I am so ready.
I was a bartender at a stripclub when I was a A1C.
It was a women's strip club.
It's called Baby, baby dolls.

(11:28):
I love this.
We refer to it as the boatbecause on the outside it was
shaped like a pirate ship, right.
But the reason why I got thejob is this is food related I'm
very food motivated.
The reason why I got the job isbecause the wings were really
good and I worked third shiftwhen I was a cop, so I would get
off from work and I would gosit in there and just eat,
because it was uninterrupted,nobody would say anything, right
, everybody.
And I would go sit in there andjust eat because it was
uninterrupted, nobody would sayanything, right, everybody.
And then they're like it's kindof weird.

(11:49):
They offered me a job and I'mlike I'm not getting a role, but
I could be a bartender becauseI was too little to do security.
So I ended up with a job but Igot fed so much, so much free
food it started to get weird.
They do not sanitize thosepoles.

Ali (12:05):
No, really.

Jen (12:06):
Think about it.
This went left.
Sorry, guys, I went wrong.
I love this, but they have thisspray bottle and they have this
washcloth.
They spray the pole, they wipethe pole.
Okay, it's the same washcloth,Same pole, same cloth.
There's 100 strippers.
Let's say there's a hundreddancers with a hundred
washcloths.
Maybe they don't have, maybethey're recycling this washcloth

(12:28):
, it doesn't matter.
You just wipe somebody else'scoot's juice off this pole, put
it on your towel, then you findthat pole and then you wipe the
pole down and I don't understandwhat is happening and why
nobody thinks it's a problem.
I find it to be an issue, butI'm also a germaphobe, and so
that gives us.

Linnea (12:47):
There's yet another.
It.

Ali (12:48):
This strip club's gotta be clean.

Linnea (12:51):
My daughter has a stripper name.
We were downtown A car parkednext to the curb and it was like
this close to the curb and mydaughter goes.
I am that close in quittingcollege and becoming a stripper.

Ali (13:04):
Yes.

Linnea (13:05):
Because she was just so stressed out.
She was joking.
We were driving by a streetgoing home and the street name
is Misty Dales and we're likethat's a good stripper name
Clappy Misty.

Jen (13:16):
Dales.

Linnea (13:17):
So now we call her Misty Dales, like I walked into the
doctor's office that she worksat.
I'm like they call her Brittany.
I'm like they call her Brittany.
I'm like girl, you've got allthese stripper names.
I'm like Misty, you need tostop.

Andi (13:32):
Misty.
Our next question should bewhat would your stripper name be
and why?

Linnea (13:36):
Ooh See, I can't come up with.
I can come up with it forsomebody else, but not you know.

Jen (13:42):
Mine is always going to be funny.
Funny, I'm going to be off thewall.
It's going to be somethingcrazy like flexi knuckles or
something crazy.
But god, no, patch.
Who is that patch?
Why?
Because you know, maybe you'llsee a patch of some, some monono
spots and maybe I'll be wearinga patch.
Oh no, but it'll be.
It'll be something that makesyou come into the why are you

(14:03):
name that?
And then stay for the show.
What would your name be?
We need like a strip like name,I don't need renee.

Andi (14:11):
But I don't have a reason why I just like the name renee.

Jen (14:14):
Renee, that's sexy that I could see that.

Linnea (14:17):
What would you, galley?
God, I don't know, what do?

Ali (14:21):
you guys think I don't know .
What do you guys think I don'tknow, I don't have one Allie
ta-tas.
Tiny, tiny, itty-bitty ta-tas.
Let me rephrase that thenon-existent ta-tas.

Jen (14:33):
No, you are large ta-ta adjacent they're not
non-existent.
You are ta-ta adjacent Okay.
Okay, yeah, you're a, that'sokay you can just call me cherry
, because they're like littlecherries so it could be cherry
blossom coming to the stage.
Ladies and gentlemen, cherryblossom cherry blossoms love it.

Andi (14:55):
It's walking, very popular .

Linnea (14:59):
I don't know if anybody would want me to even do that.
Listen, everybody wantseverybody, but you know there
are men that like a big butt,they like a chunky, at least one
person will want that becauseyou have a husband and he
clearly wanted it.

Andi (15:14):
Oh, he does.

Jen (15:16):
You see what I'm saying At least one person wanted it.
He still likes it he stilllikes me and that's all that
matters.
So he'll come see you and belike hey, yeah.

Linnea (15:29):
My bachelorette.
We went to a bar and I had agentleman come up to me and I
had these cute guests overallson.
That's when they were stylishand I had a real short and I had
a guy you need to patent thathe pointed to my tush and I'm
like I don't know if I should beworried, concerned, or take it
as a compliment.
Take it as a compliment, likeit says you need to pat that

(15:52):
booty.

Jen (15:53):
He said you had a booty is fine yep, so you know now it's
like behind you yeah, he saidit's going.

Linnea (16:04):
Where did we go?

Ali (16:05):
you guys.
I did a stripper documentaryfor my documentary class in
university and it was amazingReally.
I lost it.
I got to find it, yeah.

Jen (16:14):
That would be fun to watch.
It was fun.
Did you study?

Ali (16:18):
strippers and interview them.
I interviewed them.
I went to this specific one inTampa because Tampa used to be
bigger than Vegas when it comesto strippers.
Really, back in the day day itwas really popular, yeah and uh,
the owner was like somewhatlike semi-famous, and I did an
interview with him and at theend I put this in the
documentary.
He's like would you like a job?
And I was like no, I'm inschool right now.

(16:40):
I can't.
I probably should have, but Iwas just so obsessed with
strippers and I wanted to.
I still want to be one so badlyI love them.
Or I like want to do burlesque,but the ick of the pole I would
be out there with like Clorox.
I would be like no, no, we needto clean this stage.

Linnea (16:58):
I have a friend that does burlesque that would be fun
to go watch, but he is also theworld's biggest hypochondriac,
like, Like he's the world'sbiggest dermaphobe.

Jen (17:07):
When I tell you he's like, I'm going to go out there and
I'm going to do this thing, butI'm using my stuff and it's
sanitized and he's all in herewith it.
Yes, he pulls off his stuffback and he's like and nobody
else is touching this, oh my God.

Ali (17:22):
I need to do it with him.
I need to do it with him.
I need to do it with him.
Then.
That sounds amazing.
I need to eat it up.

Jen (17:26):
I'm like man.
If I could just get past thefact that you got on Pacey and a
doctor yeah, he's a beauty.
I also see all the germs.

Linnea (17:36):
that's all around the germs yeah.

Ali (17:39):
Yeah, I would love to do it .

Linnea (17:40):
Reminds all the money that strippers get like coming
from those mitts.
Yeah, and they like all thegerms on the money that gets
stuck or thrown and handsanitizer those dollar bills are
getting crab dinners.

Jen (17:56):
Just so you know, those dollar bills have seen many crab
dinners okay.

Andi (18:00):
And if you were a stripper , wouldn't you wonder and worry
about where that money's beenand what it's touched to those
nasty people and what they?

Ali (18:08):
deposited like asap, but they have little like they have
little uh things to put aroundyour ankle and they're like
little bags and you can put themin there, but the ones don't
really fit.
So yeah, that's nasty, it's, Iwould just go sanitized right
away like you're dippingyourself in clorox your body.
Yeah, I mean I used to work at abar and, um, I was the shooter

(18:30):
girl and so I would get cash,only that's I didn't you know
back.
This was I don't know 10 yearsago, 15 years ago.
So yeah, I uh, it was nasty andI would go home and I smelled
like cigarettes because it was acountry bar and I don't like
country, I don't even know acountry country and I don't I
don't know country music, but Iworked at a country bar but yeah
, it was, it was nasty.
I just went home anddisinfected myself I never put

(18:54):
it in the document.

Andi (18:54):
That's why I couldn't find it a document, because it did
not exist yet.
These notes of things, one allof you are to me, or even some
off the wall idea I have, Idon't these notes are going to
make sense, but we're going toask people to share their
highlight reel of their wins,record their wins and celebrate.

(19:15):
I think that might have comefrom you, andy.

Linnea (19:17):
I like that.

Jen (19:19):
Submit your wins and your Spoonie Sisters will cheer you
on.
I love that.
Submit your wins, let yourSpoonie Sister cheer you on, and
we can just be like hey andcelebrate them Like I see you
Crack that fit and just keepcracking our shit.

Andi (19:34):
Here's the call to action to our listeners to send us your
head, a video, a picture,something, and we're going to
post it and we're going tocelebrate you, which is, along
with the other one, medicaltrauma.

Ali (19:46):
That would be good.
That would be good.

Andi (19:48):
The help people and hurt people thing.
Hurt people, heal people, thatthing.
Yes, I don't know what I said,but what you said.
We want to do an entire episodeabout how hurt people help
people.
So what?
Are you guys' other.

Linnea (20:02):
I like that I like both ideas.
I want to find a purpose fromthe pain from this disease so I
can help people.
I mean I want to.
That's my goal this year is tobe more active to do that.
Is that along the line what youwere talking about?
I guess I'm not sure if thatwas on topic.

Jen (20:22):
So can you do me a favor, babe?
Yeah, don't doubt yourself somuch.
You said, that was such aquestion mark.
Your thoughts are valuable.
Your voice is powerful.
Say that shit with your chest.
Say it like you mean it.

Linnea (20:36):
Okay, I love you.
I'm going to be helping morepeople.
I love you too.
I am going to be helping morepeople this year.
My goal now is to help somebodyelse.
That has been where I've been,if it's depression, anxiety,
anything.
But yes, thank you for that,Andy.
I struggle with that very much.
I doubt myself a lot, if I'mbeing honest.

(20:59):
So that encouragement reallyhelped and it really touched my
heart.
So thank you and I adore you.

Andi (21:04):
You're welcome.
I want each of you to give mean idea for an episode that
we're going to do.

Ali (21:10):
I like learning about ways people cope with their chronic
illness, and I also love talkingabout sex in chronic illness as
well.

Jen (21:17):
That's a good one.
And can we do that?
Because that's a good one.
Let me just tell you about thelack of libido, can we?

Ali (21:23):
talk about the lack of libidoido it's a side effect of
a lot of our medication yes, andfeeling sexy, and yeah, I can
go on and on.
I've done a couple of podcastsabout sex and chronic illness,
so I could talk about it all day.

Linnea (21:37):
I would love that I we don't talk about.
I think it's the way I wasraised.
We did not talk about stufflike that yeah, that's how it
does affect yeah, it does affectour sex life, as when you're in
a relationship, we do need totalk about stuff like that.
Yeah, that's how it does affect.
Yeah, it does affect our sexlife, as when you're in a
relationship, we do need to talkabout that yeah, and dating too
what'd you say, jenny?

Andi (21:55):
you might be a little young for this, but, andy and
lenia, we need to channel ourinner like did you just call us
old?
Well?

Jen (22:01):
you're around the same.
Yes, you did it did.

Andi (22:04):
We need to channel our 90s and bring back the.
Let's talk about sex.

Ali (22:11):
I know a lot of the words to that.
Let's talk about all the goodtimes.
Let's talk about sex.
Let's talk about sex.

Linnea (22:21):
I can't remember.
I can't remember what I had forbreakfast, but I can remember
the lyrics and baby no, no, Well, you might have missed it, what
I had for breakfast but I canremember that song.

Andi (22:27):
Do you remember the lyrics ?
No, no, well, you might havemissed it, but I had Dr Fanny on
twice and she is a sex coach.
I love that, so maybe I canreach out to her and bring her
on.

Ali (22:39):
Yes, Please, please.
I've never done a sex podcastwith a professional.
I've done four podcasts aboutsex, so to like a professional,
like I've done like fourpodcasts about sex, so to have a
professional.

Andi (22:49):
I have so many questions I want to be on that I did it by
myself and I was like deer inthe headlights going.
I know how to have it.

Jen (22:56):
Yeah, yeah yeah, I know what part like, I know how it
ends I just wrote an articleabout it.

Ali (23:06):
I'll send it to you guys.

Andi (23:07):
Let me see, yeah yeah, okay, so I will reach out to dr
fanny.
You guys will like her.
She's french.
Oh, I like it already.
She's in the directory.
Yes, she is in the directory,dr fanny.
I remember her face.

Jen (23:20):
She has blonde hair I remember reading her bio and
saying, saying she's talkingabout the touch and front.
Touch and front.
Okay, I was taken aback becauseit was one of the things that
people keep secret in my familygrowing up.
We don't talk about touch andfront, so we don't name body
parts what they were.
We didn't talk about things.
Now I'm like, oh, we're talkingabout sex openly and call the

(23:41):
part what the part is and tellabout your body for real.
That would be a great one.

Ali (23:48):
I'm excited about that.
I love that.
I'm very sex positive like I.
Yeah, I love it.
I uh do like giveaways yeah,yeah, as you should.
Yeah, literally.
I'm 31 and I'm just learningabout like all these kinks and
stuff by all the books I'mreading.
I would love to own a sex club.
It's a dream of mine.

Linnea (24:04):
I would love to own a sex club.

Jen (24:06):
I can see that for you, for real, in real life, thank you.
And I see you in black, not alldumb, maybe partially
submissive.

Ali (24:16):
Yeah, yep, partially submissive is right, jenny's
face.
Yep, no, andy has it on to theT, that's face.
Yep, no, andy has it on to theT, that's correct.
I can just see myself likewalking down the hallway, like
in my black outfit, with my whip, like telling people what to do
.

Jen (24:33):
You're more of the princess right in between.
I want to throw the tantrum,but also I want to correct the
tantrum.
That's you right in the middle.
Yep, I so see it, jenny.
Yep, of course.

Linnea (24:47):
It's the middle.
Yep, I so see it, jenny.
Yep, of course it's coming offall right, linea.
What were you saying?
I would say my husband, just I.
I went to a lingerie party andit was a co-worker's wife of my
husband and they gave it to himand he's like why did you?
Buy this what because it'sgoing to end up on the floor.
That was you know, he gave it tome.
I kept looking for it andthey're like, oh, it hasn't came
in.
He wrapped it and put it underthe tree for Christmas in front

(25:10):
of my family.

Ali (25:12):
It wasn't really sleepy.

Linnea (25:14):
It was more of just a nightgown.
Everybody laughed.
He knew it would go wrong.

Ali (25:20):
It's funny A lot of people did that this year.

Linnea (25:23):
What was the point in buying that honey?
I A lot of people did that thisyear.
What was the point in buyingthat?
Honey, I'm not going to leaveit on you long.

Andi (25:29):
Well, I guess you have a point.

Ali (25:30):
That's cute.
Yeah, it's not all in long.
Yeah, but it was really comfy.
I actually still have it.
Yeah, no, it's good and it alsomakes you feel sexy, like when
I talk about sex and arthritisand chronic illness, I'm always
like get some lingerie to feelsexy.
Yes, my best advice is to startalone with yourself.
Find what you enjoy, read whatyou enjoy, get outfits you enjoy

(25:52):
.
You know you don't have to havesex with it, like you can just
keep it on days you don't feelgreat about yourself.

Jen (25:58):
Yep.
So earlier today I was having aconversation, jenny, with Jewel
.
We were talking about how thecrazy white lady sent me happy
mail and how we just lovegetting happy mail from Jenny.
Right, I told?
I told Jewel.
I said the thing is, thiscommunity is over-retrusting
because nobody asked anyfollow-up questions.
Me of all people.
I asked all the questions.
You said send me your addressand I said, okay, she could have

(26:21):
been a stalker.
She said dig, then we do stufflike oh, you got newly diagnosed
.
Hey, spoonie, come here, youwant a sticker.
I was like we're no differentthan the creepy van with the
candy.

Linnea (26:32):
You want a sticker.

Jen (26:33):
We're like Spoonie you want a sticker, come get a sticker.
Hi guys, hi, come get a hug,let me get the hug it's a hog
Spoonie Come.
Get a hog Come on.

Linnea (26:45):
Oh my god, it's so true we never thought about it that
way, but we are, we're a littletoo trusting.

Andi (26:54):
Yeah, Instead of candy it's stick.

Jen (26:57):
Like all my friends, I've never met in public, like in
real life, my chronic illnessfriends.
I've never met themface-to-face but I was super
comfortable giving my address.

Ali (27:05):
So yeah, god, yep, hopefully, yeah, hopefully.
Jen's like fuck her, becauseshe has all of our addresses,
gosh, and you know what trouble,don't make her mad.

Andi (27:18):
It's all in this little little song.
I love that.
It's a notebook that mysister-in-law designed.
I think she drew the pictureand it's got waves on it and it
says you were the best part ofme.
You are still a light in thedarkness.
I love you more than words cansay.
Nothing will keep us apart.
It says more than that.
I mean you get the gist, yeahyeah, yeah.

Ali (27:41):
I love that she did that.

Andi (27:43):
She did all kinds of cool stuff like that.
That's like the perfectnotebook for me to keep
everyone's addresses in.
Yeah, I'm not a crazy stalker,I just like to send you guys
things.
I love my stickers Me too.

Ali (27:55):
Hey this one's on.
Want a sticker.
Want a sticker.

Jen (27:59):
Come here I know you do.

Ali (28:00):
You're sad Come here.

Linnea (28:06):
Don't want, want to stick her.

Jen (28:07):
I'm going to open my door, but you've got to come in.

Andi (28:09):
What's your illness?
What's your illness?
What's your?

Linnea (28:11):
illness, cutie pie, but hey what you in for?

Jen (28:14):
Every excuse, hey, what you in for, oh my God.

Ali (28:19):
I'm going to come up with something like what's your
illness Plus something else, andit's going to be your stripper
names like rheumatoid sassy orsomething we need.

Andi (28:26):
That arthritis, cherries, I'm gonna come up with it, I'm
gonna make a post, I'm doing itright now oh my god yes, you
guys need to be in your mail,because last week I sent you
guys each something, so keepwatching your mail.
I know it's not the new shirt,I promise I love the shirt I'm
so excited the sticker.

Linnea (28:43):
I have my shirt it might be stickers.

Andi (28:45):
It might.
It might have one of the newlogos, not the one with our
faces, because I was like thatmight freak me out to see our
faces on a sticker yeah, oh.

Jen (28:54):
So the faces thing, that would freak me out, because my
daughter saw one of them andshe's like mom, why did ai make
you look like jay-z in a trenchcoat and now I can't unsee it?

Andi (29:03):
oh my god, I love her.

Linnea (29:05):
What, oh, my god and every time I look at it I just
start laughing.
My best friend texts me whenshe posted the one that my boobs
look really good.
She's like they do yeah, theydo.
Your boobs look great, jen.
She was giving me and I so.
Then I showed it to my husband.
I said, said this is what Iwant for my birthday, my

(29:25):
birthday right here.
And I showed him the picture ofthem.
I need to go back Like this iswhat I want.
This is what I want.
I'm going to take it into thedoctor and show up Like I want
it to look like this I want this.
I want it to look like this itjust might be recluse, not the

(29:47):
ones that I have to roll up andtake, but you know I would.
And what can I ask a question?
Yeah, to, especially to andyand ally, because you guys are
like coaches and stuff.
Why is it?
Do we lose weight?
The very first weight we loseis our boobs.

Jen (29:57):
Well, so people do stuff like I'm gonna spot whatever and
you can't spot, lose weight.
But because your titties arepartially 80 fat, uh, it means
that you were doing the rightthing because, notice, you know,
your face will start to hangand then you're, you'll start
kickboxing your tits and that'sa real thing, but it starts to
slowly melt off.
It's after slowly melt off, butit's because you can't spot

(30:20):
correct and people try it butit's just like different too
it's you make me go throughlabor, you make me do all this
you could have left my boobsalone.
Build your internal bra.
Start actually doing chestexercises to build that internal
bra.
They'll come way back up hereand stop wearing bras around the
house.

(30:40):
If y'all be wearing bras aroundthe house because you're
training your body to notactually have good posture by
forcing your boobs up here,you're more aware that your
posture is garbage when you'reliterally kicking your tits.
So you'll notice that she hascell phone posture.
Didn't know that so there's arolling forward.
Bras are designed to force youto this take that bra off and

(31:01):
see how bad your posture is forreal, yep.

Linnea (31:03):
And then build your natural bra on the inside yep,
she just gave us permission notto wear a bra never wear that's
what I, that's what I hear,that's like.

Jen (31:12):
That's what I hear it was created by our man because they
thought nipples were ridiculous.
Men have nipples.
They don't wear bras.
Why do we have to wear exactly?

Andi (31:21):
I love that.
Yeah, I think my husband wouldbe very joyful.
10 years ago, tight, cute likeally, I never wore a bra because
I didn't have enough to needone and I loved it.
That's my goal.
I want to get back to nothaving to wear a bra anymore I
never.

Ali (31:35):
I haven't worn a bra in 12 years, 10 years.
They're like overrated.
I don't own one.
I don't own even sports bras.
I can't wear anymore.
I have to only wear tight tanktops when I work out.

Jen (31:47):
I can do the sports bra.
I like the sports bra and I cando the crop one because I like
my belly out.
It's sexy for real.
That's right.
The underwire and all thesqueezing, I get a mammogram.
That's enough squeezing, I getit twice a year nobody needs
that, I don't do wire anymore.

Ali (32:06):
No.

Linnea (32:07):
I had a reduction too.
I had a reduction in 2000.
Insurance paid 100% of itbecause I was having such bad
migraines and the indentions onmy shoulders.
Yeah yeah, but that's been 25years ago.
Our takeaways are not wearingbras not wearing bras.

Ali (32:29):
Yeah, stripper names I'm literally doing this stripper
name thing right now.
I'm making a post.

Andi (32:35):
I can't wait to see it stripper names sex, no bras and
ick.
Yes, I love it, but you knowwhat we all deserve to talk
about things that are not aboutour illness.

Linnea (32:46):
Yes, yes, it's nice, it's refreshing every now and
then.

Jen (32:51):
Because we're all human beings, we're all freaking human
beings.
I can't wait for you to post it.
But I just want to know what mystripper name is.
I'm stalking you because I wantto know what my stripper name
is.

Ali (33:02):
I'm so excited oh it's so funny.

Andi (33:06):
You know, we already made people just about Peter Pants
earlier this week.
Let's do one Exactly.

Jen (33:12):
I mean, Andy got a phone call from me.

Andi (33:14):
No, I lost the road in Peter Pants.

Jen (33:16):
He said oh my God, I almost died and peed myself at the
same time.
She said Jenny, and the cats onthe counter or finger in the
communion.
She's like I wasn't ready.
I wasn't ready because I, butit was refreshing because we
share a lot of sad.
So it was refreshing to not to,not to just be human, because
they, they experience, theyprobably have the same thought.

(33:39):
And then what I realized isthat people have the same
thoughts with me and are scaredto say it to me because they
look at me and say shit like Idon't want to bring it to you
because you deal with so much.
I'm a whole human being with asense of humor.
So if you thought there's afunny thing you thought was
funny, I would probably alsothink it's funny.
But then you say stuff like youhave more serious things to
worry about.
So I didn't bother you withhumor.

Linnea (34:02):
Your humor will bother me.

Jen (34:03):
The funny means bother.
But then if I sat?

Linnea (34:06):
in the I don't have any fun.

Jen (34:08):
It would be.
Why are you always sad?
Well, bitch, because you didn'tsend me nothing funny.

Ali (34:12):
That would be why that would be why I love that
Respectfully, alright.

Andi (34:17):
We can chat as long as we want, but I'm going to stop our
recording.
Listen to our takeaways.
Come back, because you neverknow when we're going to keep
you on your toes and make youpee your pants and who knows
what else.

Ali (34:27):
So you guys want to say goodbye, look out for my post on
what your chronically illstripper name is Mm-hmm, oh yes.

Andi (34:33):
Yeah, If you miss go back and find it.

Linnea (34:37):
Thanks for sticking with us throughout this whole
podcast.
If you finish the podcast anddidn't pee your pants, then we
need to do another one finishedthe podcast and didn't pee your
pants, then we need to doanother one, yes and give you a
sticker.

Jen (34:53):
Yeah, turn spoony so.
And the friendly reminder isthat you are enough on every day
that ends in y and you don'tneed that validated by anybody
else with any name that ends ina letter.
So you are every day enough,every single day, and with that,
be great, be more than fine,because you deserve that,
nothing less yes, yes, yes, anduntil next time don't forget

(35:14):
your spoon.
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