What does it mean to form genuine connections in a country known for its sex tourism? In this candid conversation, we're joined by Greg, an American digital nomad who has spent six years traversing Asia across 34 countries. Far from the typical "sexpat" narrative, Greg offers a nuanced perspective on finding meaningful relationships in Thailand—whether with women or Ladyboys in a culture where many assume foreign men are only seeking sexual transactions.
The conversation takes us through unexpected terrain as Greg shares his experience dating a Thai teacher outside the bar scene, navigating the complexities of cross-cultural communication, and discovering Thailand's vibrant BDSM community. He explains how consent, boundaries, and communication work within these relationships, while debunking myths about what dominance and submission truly entail. For anyone curious about alternative lifestyles in Southeast Asia, this segment provides a rare glimpse into communities that thrive beyond the tourist zones.
We also tackle practical aspects of the expat lifestyle, from visa run strategies to finding authentic connections despite language barriers. Greg's perspective challenges the notion that deep verbal communication is essential for meaningful relationships, suggesting that connections can form through shared experiences even when words fail. Whether you're considering life as a digital nomad in Thailand or simply curious about cross-cultural relationships, this episode offers both practical wisdom and philosophical insights about what it means to connect authentically across cultural divides.
Are you living abroad or considering it? We'd love to hear your experiences forming relationships across cultural and language barriers. Message us directly on Spotify or email mythaiwifepod@gmail.com with your thoughts and questions.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello everyone and welcome back to my Thai Wife
Podcast.
I'm Mike and I'm still doing itwithout my lovely, lovely wife
Sonali.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Hi everyone, good to see you again.
Welcome back to my Thai WifePodcast.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Good, you remember this.
Yeah, I do this is Bim, by theway.
You know her already.
How are you doing, Bim?
Speaker 2 (00:21):
I'm doing good, mike.
How about you?
I'm okay, I'm always okay.
How about you?
Speaker 1 (00:25):
I'm okay, I'm always okay, Like right in the middle
you know, yeah, today's simpleeh, and we got a guest today.
His name is Greg.
Yeah, not a guest.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
I mean it depends.
You know it's a high esteemregard.
I would say Okay.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
A guy I know that's better, yeah, I would say Okay.
A guy I know that's better,yeah, let's stick with that.
Greg is from the US, as youheard in his accent, obviously.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
Is it that obvious when?
Speaker 1 (00:56):
are you from Atlanta, georgia, atlanta, okay, and how
long have you been in Asia ingeneral?
Speaker 3 (01:05):
I started in 2018, went back for about a year and a
half over COVID, so overall sixyears, give or take the COVID
years.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
Okay, and you told me already, but how many countries
you visited in here in Asia?
Speaker 3 (01:27):
Overall I'm at 34 countries, including Europe, the
Americas, africa and Asia.
Total it's mostly China andSoutheast Asia, with random
Middle Eastern countries thrownin there.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
Which one I was in?
Qatar and Syria, syria, therewas a layover and I was able to
get in there for about 10 hours.
Speaker 4 (01:57):
Same thing, with.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
Qatar.
I was a layover.
I was able to get in there forabout 20 hours Ice times.
I mean no no, I was there.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
You know you hide the nose, it's fine yeah, I get
that, and eventually you findyourself in thailand, right?
Speaker 3 (02:17):
yeah, this is, uh, my third longish terms day.
I was here for eight months, uh, from 2019 to 2020.
After I was here for eightmonths from 2019 to 2020.
After COVID, I was here forover a year and now I'm back.
Now this is my second monthbeing back, after going home for
a couple months over theholidays, because I haven't been
home in about three years.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
And you normally always stay in Pattaya or you
travel around.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
No, most of the time I was actually in Bangkok.
This is the first time stayinglongish term in Pattaya, Because
mostly I was teaching in andaround Bangkok Okay great.
Speaker 4 (02:57):
So what's the reason?
Speaker 2 (02:59):
why I mean what's the reason?
In your opinion?
Yeah, what's the first reasonto come to travel in Thailand?
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Uh, do you mean, like , what is the reason he left his
home?
Speaker 4 (03:12):
Yeah okay.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Yeah, like that yeah.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
Well, the uh.
The main reason was to get outand travel.
I'm a huge traveler, obviously,with seeing 34 countries, um.
The Second reason was uh, was Ilove the beach?
Third reason was if I work foreither a Thai company getting
paid to teach here or if I workfor Western companies, the
conversion rate's a lot betterthan it is in the US and I don't
(03:39):
have to share a roommate if Idon't want to.
And then, specifically Thailand, not to mention the beach and
the cheapness, but also thetrans women as well, the much
more open community than a lotof other countries.
Yeah, but I guess the US iskind of open right now.
Open in that there are a lot ofpeople there, but still kind of
(04:06):
there's still a big stigma.
I would say especially in thetreating them like a fetish or a
sexual kink than anything else.
For instance, I did date atrans woman in the US for about
six months back when I was 26years old and I'm now 37.
(04:27):
But it's very hard to go onactual dates with trans women in
the US.
Why is that?
Because a lot of them justthink we want them to have sex.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
Oh, not because of that If other people will see
you with them, they will saysomething no, no.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
Like they think men just want them for sex.
Yeah, like they just see themas a sexual object.
They only see them as a fetish.
Okay so, and sometimes it'sdifficult to convince anyone of
something that they have apreconceived notion about, have
a preconceived notion about andyou know, and if you have, if 10
(05:08):
, 20, 30 experiences tell you,otherwise it's difficult to
believe.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
The 31st experience or the 32nd experience, of
course, but I think when peoplethat come to Thailand also look
at the ladyboys as a fetish Notall of them them, but some of
them.
I've seen guys go to bars.
Pay the ladyboy the bar fine,pay her the money, go to the
room and right after they finishwell, fucking, they just ran
(05:36):
out of the bar yeah, that islike I said.
Speaker 3 (05:40):
It's a huge stigma in the community it does.
Obviously there is a benefit tothe trans community in Thailand
for that, because there'shopefully a financial incentive
that works for them.
But I'm sure they wouldappreciate the other side of the
coin, where more men wereactually interested in forming
(06:04):
relationships of the coin, wheremore men were actually
interested in formingrelationships, forming actual
bonds and connections thatweren't just a financial,
transactional, sexual connection.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
I agree and disagree with you, and let me tell you
why.
Because most of the guys thatmeet ladyboys meet them at the
sex industries areas here inThailand and already, if they
want to get into a relationshipwith a ladyboy, the ladyboy will
ask some help me financially.
Right, you don't want me towalk in the bar?
(06:36):
No problem, give me X amount ofmoney you want me to go back
home.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
Give me X amount of money.
Speaker 3 (06:42):
That is not only for ladyboys, it's like ladies also,
I would say that's more of aculture thing than anything.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
No, but I don't know many guys that met Ladyboys here
in a normal setup.
When I say normal, you justyeah, but you are one of the few
right.
Speaker 3 (07:02):
Yeah, yeah, I mean, I think it also is where you're
meeting them.
If you're going to bars wherethey're half-naked, then the
assumption is that's what you'relooking for.
You can't be meeting transwomen on Grindr or on Tinder or
at a random hookup bar andexpect to be like, hey, let's go
(07:24):
on a real date and let's havean actual romantic connection.
There are real dating apps tomeet people.
There are real places out inthe wild to meet them.
Like dating I'm part of a.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
It sounds like a Pokemon, yeah, well, there's an.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
LGBTQ group in Bangkok that I'm a part of that.
I've met trans women throughthere who have real jobs,
quote-unquote real jobs thatlook for actual connections and
relationships.
And yeah, obviously it's notlike just flipping a turning
(08:03):
light, switch on and there youfind a bunch of normal guys who
want a normal relationship.
It's still you're going to dealwith the you can curse on here,
right?
Yeah, you're still going tomeet the whole asshole guy who
will tell him that, hey, yeah, Iwant to do this and this and
this, and then you have sex acouple times and then, okay, let
(08:27):
me slowly walk away it's like a.
Speaker 4 (08:29):
It's like a situation on like what has happened on on
the first time they meet.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
It's like a situation and conversation after that.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Yeah, right, everything is it yeah, it is,
but, as you said, like most ofthose girls have experienced the
sex on girls the time.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
Yeah, right, and I think even the girls that work
normal jobs, most of the peoplethat they meet that are
interested in them, probably areyeah, yeah, I mean, yeah, I
mean realistically, thepercentage of men who are coming
here to have sex with transversus the men who are looking
to have relationships with transis 10 to 1.
(09:11):
Or even higher.
Speaker 4 (09:14):
It's even higher than that yeah.
Well, higher, yeah Because 20sex guys versus one relationship
guy, 20 sex guys versus onerelationship guy.
Speaker 3 (09:23):
So, yeah, so, finding and finding that trans woman
who actually believes that youwant that relationship, um,
versus the.
The ones who you know are justuh, who just you know uh, use,
use you for what they can getfrom you, which more power to
them.
Uh, if you're at the guy'sgoing to use them for the sex,
(09:45):
they should use the man for thestuff their financial benefit as
long as well, even if you'renot being honest about it.
People lie about the crap allthe time, no matter what country
you're in.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
You said that you have met trans women in Thailand
in normal situations.
Right yeah, I dated one in 2019for about five months.
Speaker 3 (10:08):
How was that?
It was great.
I met her at a school.
Actually, she was a teacher,she was.
It was About.
It was actually the first job Ihad in Thailand.
It was about 45 minutes theother way of Rayong, yeah,
around that area, yeah.
(10:28):
So so I was in a very smallarea of school and I was like it
was like 10 minutes from thebeach.
So I was like perfect.
And there was a small schoolover there.
I met her.
Her name was Jane and we datedfor about five months while I
was teaching there.
And how was that, yeah, it wasgreat.
We had a great connection.
We were able to go out, havefun.
(10:52):
We came to Pattaya a coupletimes, went to Koh Samet.
Yeah, it was really fun for thefive months we were together
and there was no financial partof it involved.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
No, we never Did you support her in any way?
Speaker 3 (11:10):
No, I mean for the most part she did stay with me
because my place was bigger thanhers.
I'm an American teacher inThailand, so I paid more than a
Thai teacher, unfortunately.
But well, fortunately for meand unfortunately for them.
But you think it's double right?
Speaker 1 (11:27):
teacher.
Yeah, unfortunately, uh, but uh, well, fortunately for me,
unfortunately for them.
Speaker 3 (11:30):
Yeah, but, um, right, oh, yeah, I can, I can somehow
get triple, depending on theschool.
Um, just because, again,because my uh, because of my
experience and everything, uh,so I can, I can demand a little
bit more, okay, um, alsodepending on, uh, their
experience as well.
Yeah, yeah, like you, I would.
I would say I'm probablyequivalent to a teacher who's
been there 15, 20 years.
A Thai teacher has been there15, 20 years.
Speaker 4 (11:51):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (11:52):
Between 10 and 20.
Yeah, so the salaries can bequite an astronomical difference
.
Okay, yeah, so she stayed withme and I would.
I would pay a lot of stuff justbecause, like you know, you
wanted to be a gentleman.
Yeah, be a gentleman.
We're going out having funagain.
I make more, but no, there wasnever any.
(12:12):
Like hey, can I get fivethousand for my mom's mysterious
procedure or something that youhear from a lot of people?
Or you know, there was atornado that ripped through our
ancestral home, and can you giveme 10 to pay?
Speaker 1 (12:28):
have you seen the thing of on social media that
some thai lady here like renteda place and made it look like a
hospital and then people wouldpay her money in order to send
pictures to the boyfriend?
Speaker 3 (12:41):
that you saw, that I haven't seen seen it, but I know
they're.
Yeah, it's a scam going aroundthe world.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
She rented it.
A picture would cost about1,000 baht or something like
that, and then they would justsend it to their boyfriend that
currently are not in Thailand.
Oh, I'm in the hospital.
I got hit by a truck orwhatever.
Send me money.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
Oh really, yeah, it was here in Pattaya.
I never heard of that.
I'm sorry, I'm not a personI'll like follow the news, but,
yes, this is like oh, is thishow they did?
Speaker 1 (13:17):
she, so she rented a store right yeah and she made
the store look like a hospitalroom, ah, and had a hospital bed
and the hospital well, fakehospital equipment.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
The gowns, and the girls would just lay there on
the bed looking sick.
Take off the makeup.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
Make it my story.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
They would just send those pictures to the boyfriend.
The boyfriend would call therewould be someone dressed as a
doctor, blah, blah, blah, andthey would get the money.
It's so weird, it's not?
Speaker 3 (13:46):
weird, it's genius, no, I mean it's a great business
plan for the Taiwan.
The problem is there are menwho will fall for that and, to
be to be honest, I do not havesympathy for them.
If you're going to send moneyto someone you've never met,
that's on you.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
It's their boyfriends right, but right now they are
not here.
Speaker 3 (14:10):
They went back, but how?
Speaker 1 (14:13):
what is?
Speaker 3 (14:13):
there was there?
What is your definition ofmeeting someone?
Speaker 1 (14:19):
My definition is better, the guy's definition
right.
So he came to Thailand, forexample, stayed here for two
months, stayed there wholemonths.
The whole time he was here withone girl back home texting each
other.
Speaker 3 (14:32):
Yeah, I would say it's.
I would probably guess that themore common woman to guy scam
is not that they've beentogether for two months, that
they've maybe had a weektogether or less.
I highly doubt that.
I would imagine that there aresome, but I would push back on
(14:53):
the fact that these women havebeen with the guys for two plus
months and now they're trying tothat.
These women have been with theguys for two plus months and now
they're trying to scam them,Because most of the guys I know
who do that they don't have togo that route to get money.
They just send them the money.
Like I know a few guys who dothat, who come for a few months,
have their girlfriend go backand then they just send them
(15:13):
$5,000, $10,000 a month orsomething, because I mean, if
you're living in America, it'sonly 200-300 bucks a month, so
it's not that big of an issue.
So I would imagine that most ofthose scams are for people who
were together maybe a week orless.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
I'll give you my cousin what happened to him.
So my cousin came to Pattaya Ithink it was like 2014 or 15.
And immediately he fell in lovewith a girl.
She was named Lek.
I never met her, but he wastalking so much about her so I
(15:56):
remember him like, like right.
And after he went back to hishome I think two months no, one
month later she sent him apregnancy test and say listen,
I'm pregnant, but I have to takecare of your baby.
He, he, was smart enough to sayokay, no problem, I'm coming
(16:20):
back next week to Thailand, weare doing a pregnancy test.
If it's my baby, I will takecare.
If not, you pay me for theticket and the rest of the money
.
Immediately.
She disappeared, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (16:32):
Yeah, I mean there are stories like that running
the gamut.
As long as there's been theability to communicate with
people over long distances Iwould imagine back when there
was the telegraph system itwould be like you know I am
pregnant.
Stop Send money, stop yeah,like, really like that.
(16:55):
Stop calling me, stop Sorry.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
Have you scammed anyone before?
Speaker 2 (17:00):
Never, really, I never did that.
Speaker 3 (17:02):
Oh, I say yes, no, I'm a okay.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
I'll be here and when I'm I can't say I'm a when I'm
talking to someone.
I don't need to ask money froma guy.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
Yeah, but when he go home and sometimes you need some
money when he go home, probably, in my opinion.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
yeah, okay, I work in a bar.
Then they come here.
They come for holiday, right,so they spend all money in
holiday, of course, and theyback to home me like they work,
they earn.
So, how I can do so.
I have to earn my money also.
That's why it's like if theyback home I did not ask their
(17:47):
money and Depends on like theywould like to give me.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
One in how many girls in so she's the only one that
never scammed anyone.
You want to give factor ratio?
Give factor ratio One in howmany girls in Pattaya so she's
the only one that never scammedanyone.
Speaker 3 (18:01):
Well, she said, if they want to give her money,
what is the conversation whereit goes?
They want to just send yourandomly.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
I'm not out for something like that.
You're not making a story theway.
Yeah, I'm not making story toask money from people, if I hey
give me 5,000.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
Yeah, not not do that .
Speaker 3 (18:24):
It's right below the line you know, like, like, oh
man, I'm struggling strugglingin Thailand you know, no one did
Katia it's very hard to eat.
Let me let me.
Speaker 4 (18:37):
Let me call my mom.
It's like it's very hard to eat.
Speaker 3 (18:39):
Let me call my mom.
No, no, don't call your mom,let me send you mine.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
This is how.
I feel, I'm not doing that toask money.
You know what I mean.
I'm just explaining what isgoing on but I'm not like, can
you help me this?
Speaker 4 (19:02):
how, like, how people like to say but I'm not saying
that after I say my story.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
But right is this, is this like, and I have, yeah,
have guys like, yeah, like wouldlike to save me money like you,
want me to help you and Afterthat I guess it like no, I can
say I know, have you always saidno, come on, be honest, depends
(19:40):
on these guys who say theydon't pay for sex and then they
end up getting like a thousandbaht for a 50 baht taxi ride.
Speaker 4 (19:44):
Yeah, it's like me like.
Oh yeah, you didn't pay for sex.
Speaker 3 (19:45):
You just paid for their ride home.
Speaker 4 (19:47):
It's like like why are?
Speaker 2 (19:48):
we we're splitting hairs, I gotta say like, for me
it's just like if I'm doesn'tknow that guy really well I mean
like not spent for long.
It's like I'm not.
I'm not, um.
If they ask me to help me, Isay no, you know.
Only.
Only I know them really well,like really close, like stay
(20:11):
with them or know them for overyears, like we know each other
and we touch each other, sodoesn't have the problem about
like why you ask me money, whyyou do this, do that.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
Why you're Because there is already connection.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Yeah, already connection with like over a year
.
Speaker 1 (20:32):
We know each other for long then try to I think I
guess okay, I'm then try thisorder.
I think I guess okay, I'm notsure.
But I think most of the guysthat stayed with you more than
one time when they came toPattaya would say every week two
or three times they want tostay with you when they go home.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
They will still text you, right, right but that
doesn't mean like if they backhome, I would like to ask them
money after that because youdon't mind if they offer.
Speaker 3 (20:57):
If they offer, check the instagram history search.
Can you help?
Speaker 2 (21:11):
yeah, only I, I know them, that's it.
But if I just see them Like fora few times, Like One week I'm
not really Not really Let themhelp me Because you know, like I
don't want to be the lady theyare Thought.
(21:32):
You know they always think Iknow like Everyone hear about
Lady, lady Asmani, lady Bahasani, so I don't want to be like
that thought.
Okay, you know they alwaysthink I know like everyone here
about lady, lady ask money.
So I don't want to be like that, I don't want to ask many guys
I know for money.
But yeah, is they give me?
I'm okay thank you, but onlyfrom who I really know, okay she
(21:53):
has her sob story ready to go?
Speaker 3 (21:54):
Yeah, but probably.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
If I can say, I say no Because I want to work and
earn money by my own.
To be, honest, have you beenscammed before?
Speaker 3 (22:08):
Oh yeah, oh really, mm-hmm, we can the the ex that I
was just dating.
We had known each other forover a year.
We had dated.
She's a Thai lady.
Yeah, okay, we had dated for acouple months, just like I was
(22:35):
in Bangkok.
She was here, that's how itwould come.
Was in bangkok, she was here,probably that's how it come, um,
but we would just go on dates,um, and then um, but we were
talking and everything, uh, andthen, um, I got uh denied a visa
at the border a few months ago,so I decided to go home for the
holidays and we started talkingeven more.
Um, we had stopped talking fora few months, but then, after
(22:58):
that we stopped, we startedtalking again.
Um and uh, we werecommunicating, talking and we
were like, okay, I'm gonna comeback and you know, hey, let's
give it uh, now that I'm gonnabe doing the digital nomad,
let's give it the old collegetry and let's uh see if it'll.
You know, there's somethingreal, not just like a short time
thing, but like, let's give ita, let's see if there's
something real, not just like ashort time thing, but let's live
(23:20):
together and try something.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
Oh, actually live together.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
Yeah, I was staying with her for the last month and
a half that I was here, okay,moved in with her right before
Suncom, okay, and I'd send hermoney over the time.
Is she a Gigi?
No, she's a cisgender woman,okay, yeah, born woman, and I'd
send her money over the time.
Is she a Gigi or in any way?
No, she's a cisgender woman,yeah, born woman.
And so, yeah, we were datingfor the last month and a half, I
(23:47):
guess, for the last four months, whatever, and it was more like
it was fine.
But she kept, you know, doingthe insisting without insisting,
like that that maybe she likelikes to do.
You know, like they're all notasking but asking.
You know that, like, and sheshe'd always bring up, like you
(24:09):
know, doing this.
I'm like, yes, but you knowthat, uh, over, uh, uh, coming
back in philippines, andra, Ispent a little bit too much
money, so I had to wait until Igot paid again and everything
was going to be set.
But she was like, oh, we're notdoing enough, we're not
spending enough, we're not allthat.
And I was like all right, mything has always been have you
(24:35):
ever seen it's a Wonderful Life?
I'm sure I have.
It's an old Christmas movieabout this guy who decides to
kill himself and this angelshows him what the world would
be like without him.
Okay, so I haven't seen it.
A black and white movie fromthe 40s, I believe, one of the
biggest Christmas movies ever.
(24:55):
It's fun, really great movie.
There's a woman that he likesand his whole thing is like oh,
do you want the moon?
I'll get a lasso and a rope andI'll lasso you the moon.
So my thing has always beenpeople always want the moon, but
they don't want to wait for thelasso to be built.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
Okay, I get that.
Speaker 3 (25:15):
Yeah, so I left about a week ago, and that's why I'm
now over in Jomtien.
Oh, okay.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
So you got her like after that you see her?
Speaker 3 (25:26):
No, I haven't seen her since I left.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
Oh Sorry, I left her place Monday and I went to put
my app out.
You lived together and then youjust went to Jomtien.
Speaker 3 (25:36):
Yeah, I got an Airbnb and jump in but you said before
.
Speaker 1 (25:41):
I'm not sharing the subject, but they just want to
make sure.
You said before you're moreinto trans woman, right, I'm 50,
50.
Speaker 3 (25:51):
I'm all about.
I'm about the connection.
If I connect with a trans woman, I'll pursue her.
If I connect with a cisgenderwoman, I'll pursue her.
You know that's.
You know I could.
I could go to a trans ladyboybar and, you know, have fun with
(26:12):
them and go to a club and havefun with a few cisgender women
at the club and go away withfour or five different numbers
of trans or cisgender women andtalk with them and see what
happens.
But no, for me it's all aboutthe connection and what happens
after.
So there's no.
The only specifics I put on arelationship, especially now, is
(26:38):
more along thedominant-submissive thing that
I'm interested in.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
So that's the only Submissive one.
Speaker 3 (26:44):
Yeah.
So whether I'm dating acisgender woman or a trans woman
, they have to at least be inthe dominant realm, okay.
Speaker 1 (26:54):
So if you are submissive, I guess you are the
bottom, right, yeah.
So when you are with a ciswoman, well, I fucking hate to
say cis woman, I'm sorry to allthe world.
Guys fuck it.
When you are with a girl, right, she have a pussy, right yeah,
but you are using a strap-on.
Speaker 4 (27:11):
Yeah, I have my own strap-on.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
Okay, and you fuck her sometimes also, I guess.
Speaker 3 (27:16):
Yeah, I still have a dick that works yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
I know it's a weird question.
I just try to understand itbecause I've never been in that
position, so I really don't knowwhat's going on.
Speaker 3 (27:28):
Like with my ex that I just left.
That was purely a vanillarelationship.
Okay, there was no dominationsubmission thing at all, it was
a purely vanilla.
Uh, I was the quote unquotenormal man role, she was the
quote unquote normal femininerole.
Uh, she did, she knew.
Uh, she knew vaguely about mydomination submission interest,
(27:49):
but uh, we didn't really getinto it.
Um, so, we never, we, we neverwent into that area.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
So it depends on the woman's relationship, and you
can still be in a relationshipwithout that.
Speaker 3 (28:02):
Yeah, but I'm actively pursuing the domination
submission relationship Okay,it's commonly called FLR.
Female-led relationship Okay,that's the type.
If you see my profile on anydating app, you'll see it has
that somewhere in the profile.
That that's what I'm lookingfor.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
Have you tried the BDSM clubs here in Pathe?
Speaker 3 (28:23):
Yeah, I'm a part of a group in Bangkok.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
No, no, I mean here in Pathe.
Yeah, I've been to Castle.
Speaker 3 (28:28):
That was back in.
I haven't been since 2019.
Do you know the Castle?
Speaker 2 (28:32):
Have you heard about it?
Speaker 1 (28:32):
What the castle?
The castle, so it's a club inThird Road, just in front of the
hospital.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
Uh-huh Right, yeah, it's usually you'll.
Usually it's very hard to seebecause they don't have any
lights.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
They keep it very dark.
You have to pay, I think $1,000, to get inside, just to get
inside.
I don't know what it costs now.
Speaker 3 (28:51):
The last time I went was 2019.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
I don't know what it costs now I spoke with someone,
with one of my other friends.
He said it's 1000 just to getinside, and then there are women
and trans women over there andI guess some men also that you
have to set the price with them,and then they will do.
(29:15):
Do you know what BDSM means?
Speaker 2 (29:20):
I can't say I'm here about it, but I don't know where
is it.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
I think we have the perfect guest.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
Yeah, because for me I can't say I can say I have
experience with Tristan and justme, and with me ladyboy and
(29:48):
with a guy, like two ladyboysand guys, two ladyboys with a
guy and me lady with a guy.
But I'm lady boy, a lady withme.
We are.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
You're not fucking together.
No, no, both of you fucking theman.
Yeah, with the man.
Speaker 2 (30:04):
So for me I prefer to have with the man, Okay, and I
also know how about people who?
Speaker 1 (30:11):
have sex.
So BDSM is not only about sex.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
Not about sex, yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
No, it can be about sex.
Speaker 3 (30:18):
Specifically it stands for Bondage, discipline,
domination, submission, and youknow there's all levels.
But you know, if you think oflike the way I explain it To a
lot of people in Asia as peoplewho don't know about it, is it's
a real Fifty Shades of Grey.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
Have you seen the movie Fifty Shades of Grey?
Speaker 3 (30:42):
No, it's all about being restrained.
It's all about being whipped,spanked, choked, latex.
Speaker 1 (30:54):
It's not only about the pain, by the way.
It's mostly about, as you said,said, feeling that you are
powerless right, it's, it's apower play, control.
Speaker 3 (31:02):
There's Different abuse.
There's mental, physical.
I'm more, much more, on themental, verbal side than the
physical, but I do like thephysical as well.
But yeah, it's really all aboutyou know.
But yeah, it's really all aboutyou know, letting the other
person take control and givingthem that, that power to do
(31:23):
whatever they want within theguidelines of what you have
talked about before.
A lot of people think you, justyou, just you just give it up
and they can do whatever theywant.
That's that's not what it is.
There is clearly definedparameters in any real BDSM
relationship For those listening.
(31:43):
If they try to act like there'sno rules, do not go with them.
They're not a real proponent ofit.
Sounds like they all talk aboutexperience.
Speaker 4 (31:54):
It's a big thing in my community.
Speaker 3 (31:56):
Like I said, I'm part of the bangkok community.
Um, I'm not going to shout themout because I don't know they
want to be shouted out, but, uh,there's a specific group that
we're a part of and it's a bigthing.
Talking about consent, thepoint is you're being consensual
with everything you do andthere will be people you will
meet who will try to act likethat because they have control
(32:17):
that you don't get consent,which is not how it works.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
I want to ask you because I've never been involved
in that scene.
So, let's say, I'm going tohave a session with the person
right?
Speaker 3 (32:28):
So before that we set the rules, like, I want to be
this part and I don't want youto do this to me, so you'll have
what's called uh hard, uh hardnose, soft nose, uh hard nose is
like we don't even talk aboutit, touch it, don't even get
near it.
Like for me is uh branding?
Uh, because what is branding?
Branding like you know, uh, youget branded like oh yeah, um,
(32:54):
no.
So branding is a big oneTattoos, you know, jewish and
everything.
So that's a big thing.
For me is no branding.
Soft stuff is like beingwhipped, because my soft is like
a 1 to 10 threshold, probablylike a 6 or 7.
But depending on where I can goover.
But then there's safe words.
So, for instance, my safe wordsare green, yellow, red, green,
(33:18):
good to go red, stopautomatically, yellow, slow down
or do something a little bitdifferent.
So that's all discussed priorto doing anything so is this
like?
Speaker 2 (33:30):
is this thing?
Is this like okay, I know it'sThailand, so others, how about
other countries?
Speaker 4 (33:36):
it's just like okay, I know it's hot in Thailand,
yeah right, oh, yeah, so otterhow about other country?
Speaker 2 (33:40):
about?
You know, it's like half otter.
Speaker 1 (33:43):
You want to compare, like the scene in Thailand, to,
let's say, the US.
Speaker 2 (33:47):
No, no, I mean like how many?
Like it's half the clubs likethis you're right, so it's some.
Speaker 4 (33:55):
It's not only clubs, it's like the clubs, like this.
You're right, so is it somesome?
Speaker 2 (33:58):
Community in Thailand .
Right, but Like have somewherealso yeah.
Speaker 3 (34:06):
Yep, like you can find it probably in most major
cities.
You'll find at least one clubShanghai.
Speaker 1 (34:12):
Shanghai has a club.
Speaker 3 (34:14):
Yeah, Shanghai has a club.
Yeah, I don't know if there's aclub, I don't know why there
hasn't been, but yeah, nice,shanghai has a club.
Manila has a club.
Pretty sure, there's one in HoChi Minh and one in Bali.
Now, the actual intensity ofthe club varies.
(34:35):
Very strong community, yeah,and the the sizes, but a lot of
it will just be based around thecommunity and there's a big
website.
If anyone's interested, you goto FetLife, f-e-t-l-i-f-e,
fetlifecom.
It's a big fetish communitythat that there's communities.
You can join groups, you canjoin questions answered at
(34:58):
people and there'll pretty muchbe a community in every major
country that you can meet withpeople called munches.
Where you can, they'll have.
For instance, there's a monthlymunch in Thailand.
So if you go on FetLife you'llsee the Thailand group.
You can, if you're interested,you can join the group.
It's just a gathering of thepeople who talk about their
(35:19):
interests.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
The munchies.
Speaker 3 (35:20):
They gather the munchies is a gathering.
Basically it's like a monthly.
For instance, the Thailandgroup does a monthly gathering.
Okay, so it's a great way toconnect with people in the scene
.
Talk about your interestswithout any type of of impunity
or about insulting or anything.
Okay, like a lot of peoplearen't as out as me, like, my
(35:40):
family and friends know allabout my trans interest.
They know an extent of mysubmission interest, yeah, but
you know it's not like Iwouldn't, like I'm not going to
talk to my dad about a session Ijust had with a dominatrix.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
I think you would speak it out with with your
friends about it, not becauseyou're shy about it.
Speaker 3 (35:58):
I think it's very personal it's just not a
conversation that I'm not goingto talk about much sex with my
friends, because there's reallyno reason to.
You know, like I'm not going tolike, especially with the ones
who are married.
It's like they're talking abouttheir sex life.
It's like, well, I know who thegirl is, so, uh, I've been in
(36:19):
the wedding parties for almostall of them, so, um, so, yeah,
you know, you don't, yeah, youknow your close friends that you
have that, like that, really,like most of our friends I've
known for 10 plus years at thispoint, um, they know all my
interests but I don't have likefull-on sex talks with them.
Like I do with the community inThailand or the community in
(36:39):
Atlanta.
Speaker 4 (36:40):
Yeah, it's like you don't have to explain what you
like.
Speaker 2 (36:45):
Yeah into or what is your favorite thing to do.
You don't have to explain toeveryone.
Speaker 1 (36:50):
Not everyone, but I think he said something right
before, right now, after he'sbeen into a vanilla relationship
.
I think the next time you meeta person that you might be
interested in going into arelationship, you'll be much
more clear about that and youwill actually look for someone
that does kind of into it.
Speaker 3 (37:08):
Yeah, that is the idea and I try to put it out
there to begin with.
But again, it requires theright person, especially in Asia
, where it's not as widespreadas it is in other Western?
Speaker 1 (37:21):
Yeah, but there are no foreigners here, yeah, and
you're not only interested inAsians, in Asian people, right?
Speaker 3 (37:29):
Yeah, but even the community for dominant women,
submissive men, is small ingeneral.
Really, oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:39):
I thought this was macho.
Speaker 3 (37:40):
No, well, so there is in the financial sexual sphere.
The actual women who want areal relationship in that sphere
is a lot smaller than the womenwho want a submissive
relationship with dominant men.
Yeah, just because of you knowsociety and history and
(38:02):
everything, yeah, so, yeah.
So, for instance, I've known alot of dominatrixes who they've
been doing the job for years butthey're not interested in, like
, the actual romanticrelationship, part of it.
Okay, they want a more romanticrelationship and then they
(38:24):
still do their vanilla.
Speaker 1 (38:25):
It's a job for them yeah.
Speaker 3 (38:28):
And if they are in a relationship, they just don't do
the sex part.
Most of them don't do the sexpart anyway, unless the most
they do is pegging.
Okay, do you know what peggingis Pegging?
Is it pegging Strap-on?
Speaker 1 (38:40):
Strap-on.
A lady will wear a strap-on.
Speaker 2 (38:44):
Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and then she will fuck the man.
Okay, I understand, you don'tneed a strap-on, but I mean for
a lady.
Speaker 1 (38:50):
I know that I started .
Speaker 3 (38:53):
when I hit puberty I started watching porn.
Femme dom porn was the mostappealing to me, and then I got
into pegging.
And then once I was like I gotinto pegging I was like, oh well
, if the woman looks amazing andhas a real dick, then they can
actually feel it more than thedildo.
I was like that's a logicalmove over.
So that kind of started mytrans interest.
Speaker 1 (39:15):
And you've been with men also right over.
Speaker 3 (39:19):
So that kind of started my trans interest.
And you've been with men also,right, yeah, uh, in like two or
three, um, yeah, uh, men are notmy general sexual interest.
Uh, because I'm very specificin my male attraction.
Uh, you have to be verytwinkish or a very feminine type
man and then you have to bealso dominant top, which most
(39:45):
twinks and femme men are not.
So I've only been with her.
I think I'm only two at themoment.
I think maybe a third of usmostly been two and they were
like once or twice, they weren'tlike anything.
Speaker 1 (39:56):
It's also here especially, but it's a thin line
between a femme boy and wespoke about it a femme boy and a
lady boy.
It's a very thin line, yeah.
Speaker 3 (40:06):
I mean, like I said, for me it's always I have.
I know whether or not I'mattracted to you within the
first five seconds.
Okay, if I'm not attracted toyou immediately, I'm never going
to become attracted to you.
Speaker 1 (40:18):
It's funny.
It's funny that you said that,because you said you're all
about the connection.
Connection takes longer thanfive seconds.
Speaker 3 (40:23):
No immediate connection Immediate.
Speaker 1 (40:25):
You mean All my connections are immediate?
Okay, yeah.
Speaker 3 (40:34):
But then they so.
Speaker 4 (40:34):
So it's based more on the looks, so I have a, so
there's a.
There's two thresholds?
Speaker 3 (40:37):
Yeah, there's the immediate threshold where, if I
see you and the first whateverseconds of us meeting, I'm
interested in you or not.
It's, there's.
No, there's never been a Transwoman or man where I didn't
immediately find them attractive, wanting to talk to them, who I
(40:58):
wanted to talk to attract tolater on.
It's never happened in my 37years of living where if I
didn't know immediatelynothing's going to happen.
Then there's a second thresholdwhere that connection actually
comes after that, where, nowthat we're talking, dancing,
(41:18):
connecting, that's where therest of the intimacy comes from
it's like you see someone andyou feel attracted with like
type type of people.
You mean physical connectionlike like type type of physical
connection, it can be, yeah,yeah, can be a physical
connection could be uh could bejust how they're uh, how they're
(41:41):
uh moving, how they're looking,how they're acting, um, there
could be any type of uh,whatever they're doing within
that moment, um, that I just uh,that I just spark, spark to,
and then that's it and it's offto the races.
That I'll usually go up andtalk to that person because I
don't I'm not shy and I'mconfident, so I'll just yeah,
(42:02):
hey, I find you attractive.
Speaker 2 (42:03):
I want to talk to you more.
Speaker 1 (42:06):
The person have like body language or you know like
movement you saw them and youlike oh think about it like that
okay, you go to a club yeah,and you see some guy that dances
very well.
Yeah, oh, he dances well.
I want to dance with him, right?
Speaker 3 (42:25):
that's what he means immediate connection, that's
part of it, yeah and yeah, andthen, like it could be how they
look, could be how they look,could be how they move, could be
.
You know, I heard them having aconversation about something
and I was like, hey, that was.
Yeah, I like the sound of theirvoice or whatever.
But, like I said, it's alwaysthat very quick, immediate thing
and if it doesn't, if it's notthat immediate, it's never going
(42:46):
to change.
Speaker 1 (42:47):
And how do you find like there is a bit of language
barrier here in Thailand?
Right, it's not a nativelanguage and, compared to the
Philippines, the Thai don'tspeak very well yeah, you know,
they don't understand most ofthe things that, like the terms
that you normally use, you haveto really explain them in order
(43:09):
to them to understand.
Have you find it difficult toget more real connections here
in Thailand with the Thais?
Speaker 3 (43:15):
Well, I usually just pull down my shorts and show
them my ass, and then they getit.
Speaker 2 (43:21):
Take it easy.
Speaker 3 (43:23):
Learn from the master .
It's going to depend on theperson.
Some of them are going to beable to hold a conversation,
some of them are not.
But even if they're not able tohold a conversation, I dated a
(43:43):
woman in China for about eightmonths.
Pretty much 90% of ourrelationship was through WeChat.
So in translation yeah, it wasactually funny.
Speaker 1 (43:56):
We?
Um.
I don't have wechat so I don'tknow the features.
It's yeah, it's just.
Speaker 3 (43:59):
It's just a chinese version of whatsapp yeah, um, so
, uh, so we did it and we didfor about eight months and, uh,
like the 90 percent of ourconversation was through wechat
because she couldn't speakenglish.
Uh, it was actually funny.
Um, I had a buddy who waslearning Chinese, who went to
school, and then he joined myteaching company.
Speaker 1 (44:18):
Okay, yeah, he was British.
Speaker 3 (44:22):
I hooked him up with her assistant and then she would
pay for all four of us to go ontrips and then we would use him
as a translator for theconversation.
He would just facilitate theconversation because his Chinese
was pretty good.
It was probably 60% to 70%fluent in Chinese.
Speaker 1 (44:39):
That's enough to a whole conversation, yeah.
Speaker 3 (44:41):
So he would be facilitating the conversation
and her assistant was probably30% or 40%.
So I hooked him up with her.
And so my girlfriend, who justwanted to have a social group
she would just pay for everyonebecause she was rich and so he
would be translating like rightup until me, and her gave us the
(45:03):
eyes and was like alright, nowit's time for the bedroom stuff
and we don't need him.
Speaker 1 (45:10):
I found it that when I'm with my wife and I really
want to have some deepconversation, even she my wife
can speak decent English.
Okay, let's say better than 80%of the ties that you will meet.
But when I want to have a realdeep conversation or talk about
(45:34):
something serious, I also turnto the translator, because
sometimes I don't want toexplain every term that I use.
If I really want to talk aboutsomething, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (45:46):
And you also want to make sure that the points are
getting across.
Yeah, because even if someoneis pretty decent in speaking
whatever language, there couldalways be a mistake, and that
mistake could be catastrophic.
Yeah, one word could meansomething very different, right,
I'm pretty sure.
(46:07):
Like, for instance, bomb inPolish is a cuss word, bomb,
bomb Like B-O-M.
Speaker 1 (46:13):
Bomb, bomb.
I never heard this cuss word.
Speaker 3 (46:16):
Yeah, okay um, but obviously, if you say, like most
people, you think bomb, youthink of a explosive device, um,
so uh, very interesting to talkto a polish woman like yeah,
yeah, so yeah, just the uhdealing with translation issues
(46:38):
is just a uh, just a part oftraveling um and yeah, but
traveling is something like it'sone thing, but getting into a
serious relationship with aperson without good
communication like you, you miss80% of the relationship, I
think.
I mean, if you're putting itdepends on what you're putting
(46:59):
the stock into.
If you're putting stock intothe emotional verbal connection,
then yeah, you don't go therenormally in your relationships.
Speaker 1 (47:08):
I do, but it's not what.
Speaker 3 (47:09):
I'm putting emphasis on, even if she is a let's say,
she has 80, 90% English.
What I'm putting our emphasison in our relationship is what
we're connecting, on what we'reable to.
Can me and her go to the cluband have a good couple hours?
(47:30):
Can me and her stay at home andwatch a movie and not talk and
just cuddle and watch a movie?
Can me and her go to arestaurant have fun conversation
about the old guy walking downthe street who can't pull his
shorts up?
If there's a deep, intimateconversation that can follow,
(47:51):
that cool.
But as long as there'ssomething to put the
relationship on, that's what, inmy opinion.
That's what matters.
It doesn't have to be.
A lot of people, I think, puttoo much emphasis on having deep
conversations with someone.
Speaker 1 (48:07):
I do.
This is why I'm kind ofsurprised, because for me it was
always like that.
It's very important to me whenI have a connection, even with
the friends, right.
Even when I met you, we hadsome deep conversations also,
right?
So I don't know, this is mystance.
I'm very shocked sometimes tohear that some relationship
(48:28):
never goes this route, you know.
Speaker 3 (48:30):
And maybe it's my job .
I mean, I'm I'm speaking withuh for 20 plus hours of the week
.
I'm speaking with, uh,different levels of english, uh,
uh, english, uh, fluency withpeople all over the world, uh,
and you know we can haveconversations, but on my side
(48:52):
it's, you know, it's verysuperficial for the most part,
because, for me, I'm focusedsolely on improving their
English.
I'm focused on giving themfeedback, I'm focused on
facilitating their English needs, which is usually professional.
So I'm trying to help them getto where they want to be.
Them get to where they want tobe.
(49:15):
Yeah, um, so maybe it comesjust from that, with the fact
that, like I can have a, I canhave a general conversation with
anyone.
Whether it's deep or not, forme doesn't have, doesn't really
matter, okay I can say like umI'm a person like if I'm talking
in a deep conversation.
Speaker 2 (49:30):
Yeah, yeah, I'm not really like translate to to
explain because, like yeah, whenyou, when you're talking in a
deep conversation, you use a lotwith emotional to talk, it's
very important, More than likeif you're writing something with
unemotional, it's just feelinglike yeah, it's feeling like
(49:53):
like this yeah, it's feelinglike this is like um doesn't
feeling with this conversationand so what is this?
What is this like you mean?
What do you mean is this?
Is it mean good or bad?
Speaker 1 (50:08):
so you would?
You would rather, for example,struggle a bit with the
conversation, but still get thepoint without using translation
right?
Speaker 2 (50:18):
Yeah, it's like for me, I'm Thai, but, right, I can
talk in a deep conversation, buthe doesn't care.
Speaker 1 (50:27):
Like I say to him, I can't speak English and I'm not
understand English, so just talkto me just say to me, and if
there is a word you don'tunderstand, you will ask what do
you mean, right, yeah?
Speaker 2 (50:47):
but you know what?
What that guy did to me?
He just text, you know, writingon the translator and let this
speak yeah, translate speak tothai and I feel like what I tell
you already to speak to me.
Talk to me, but you usetranslate.
Speaker 1 (51:07):
Don't give you enough credit.
You think you're already.
Oh, she's so stupid she willnot understand what I'm.
Speaker 2 (51:11):
Yeah, and and it and it's still like well, you
translate is not a good way to.
Speaker 4 (51:19):
Makes it very superficial.
Speaker 2 (51:21):
Yeah, not always a good way to talk in a deep
conversation.
For me, really, it was part ofthe issue.
Speaker 3 (51:27):
I think with my ex.
Her English wasn't that good,she's probably 30, 40%.
Okay, her English wasn't thatgood, she's probably 30, 40%.
But one of her issues was herfavorite mode of expressing her
disappointment or anger orwhatever was a silent treatment,
which to me doesn't work.
(51:48):
I hate the fact that if you gointo a silent treatment, I'm
going to be really pissed offbecause I don't think it
benefits any part of whateverwe're trying to do.
I hate the fact that if you gointo the silent treatment, I'm
going to be really pissed offBecause I don't think it
benefits any part of whateverwe're trying to do.
You know the meme about it.
Speaker 1 (52:00):
There is a meme that one lady you see the lady and
she says, okay, I will not speakwith him the whole day because
he did to me.
Speaker 4 (52:06):
X and.
Speaker 1 (52:07):
Y and you see the man is just having fun.
Wow, the best day of my life.
Speaker 3 (52:19):
He's not even aware that she's not speaking to him.
He just have his own quiet.
You know, yeah, yeah, it's evenstuff like that.
Yeah, they're not in arelationship, uh, but yeah, so,
uh like uh, that's that's theissue, that, uh, that's where
conversation for me needs tohappen, uh, where, um, uh like I
came home drunk at like 5 or 6am and she didn't express to me
that she didn't like that.
She just didn't talk to me forlike the next 12 hours of the
(52:42):
day and I was like I kept askinghey, what's up?
What are we doing for lunch?
What's?
What's going on?
nothing so yeah, like I pissedme off and then that was the
beginning of the end, because Iwas like I'm gonna be drinking
and that's it.
Speaker 2 (52:57):
I'm not I'm not cheating I'm not abusive and I'm
not yelling like that you know.
You know what the question islike when, when guy asks any
question of food lunch,breakfast or dinner, whatever we
are like when you ask lady Thai, lady like to answer when the
guy asked lady like would youlike to eat, and lady would like
(53:18):
to say whatever you know, youknow what I mean that's bullshit
, because most of Thai ladiesdon't even like foreign food so
I would take her to a pastaplace or whatever, and she would
say oh no, I don't eat that.
Speaker 3 (53:32):
And to be fair, I think that's a universal woman
thing.
They all like to say whateverand then you make a pick and
they're like that's not what Iwant.
Speaker 1 (53:41):
I know many foreigners that don't like to
eat Thai food.
Okay, because it's too spicy orthey don't like the ingredients
.
I love spicy food.
I also.
Speaker 2 (53:50):
Right Me also.
I don't like spicy food, youdon't like spicy food.
Speaker 1 (53:53):
I don't like spicy food.
Do you prefer Thai food orforeign food?
Speaker 2 (53:57):
If I prefer Thai food with non-chili?
Speaker 1 (54:00):
Okay, but still I'm sure if I would take you to a
place that serves I don't knowLebanese cuisine you'd say what
the fuck am I eating?
Speaker 2 (54:07):
I?
Speaker 4 (54:07):
don't want to eat that.
Speaker 1 (54:08):
That's not tasty for for me not because the Lebanese
cuisine is not good, justbecause you don't like it.
Speaker 2 (54:13):
Yeah, and then you what?
Why do you say whatever?
Speaker 3 (54:16):
Yeah, there's a ringing buffet, like parallel
walking street.
By the way, which one?
I don't college?
I think it says already aboutfail.
I don't know what's called.
Speaker 1 (54:26):
There is a really good restaurant that we've gone
there, I think, three, two timesa week at least me and my
friend.
You know which one I'm talkingabout.
It's called Al Iwan.
It's near the VC hotel, thebest Arab restaurant you can
find, and I tried most of themif you go on a Friday or weekend
, I'll join you.
Obviously I can't do Monday orThursday, but I'll join you on
(54:48):
the weekend I'm telling you, asa person that comes from a
country, that we have a lot ofgenuine Arab food.
It's 100% authentic Sure.
Speaker 3 (54:58):
It's amazing, I eat everything.
Speaker 1 (55:00):
It's called Aliwan.
It's on the second road on thecorner of Soy BC.
It's really good, nice yeah.
Before you said something thatI wanted to ask.
You said that last time theydenied your visa right and you
had to go back home.
Yeah, what is your visasituation right now?
Speaker 3 (55:16):
I am on a visa on arrival.
Speaker 1 (55:20):
So that gives me how long to this visa, which gave
you 60 days 60 days.
Speaker 3 (55:24):
I could extend it for 30, which I'll have to do in
about two and a half weeks.
Speaker 1 (55:28):
Ah, it's very easy.
You just go to Jumdien and1,900 baht, and that's it.
Speaker 3 (55:34):
The problem was last year I had a job and the problem
was the work visa was takingtoo long.
Okay Well, my documents tooktoo long back home and then the
work visa was taking too long,so I had to do one more visa run
.
So I went to Vietnam for theweekend and I came back and they
denied me because they saidthat I had done too many visa
(55:57):
runs.
Speaker 1 (55:58):
And what would you do next time they would tell you
no?
Would you find another countryto be in, or you would think
about changing your visa.
Speaker 3 (56:06):
Well, I mean, I doubt they would do it again, but my
current plan is to be stickingwith the digital nomading, where
I'll just be following thevisas.
Speaker 1 (56:15):
So so you're not necessarily staying in Thailand
what my plan is.
Speaker 3 (56:19):
I'll do the 90 days, probably go somewhere for a
month or two and I'll come backfor another 90 days and then
because I, one of my goodbuddies, should be back sometime
late in the year, so I don'twant to get denied before he
comes back.
Okay, so I'm thinking aboutgoing to Bali or Malaysia, or,
(56:43):
if I can figure out how toafford Korea, I might do Korea.
What about the Philippines?
I just came from thePhilippines.
Okay, I did a month in thePhilippines over March.
You liked it?
Yeah, it was fun.
Manila was alright.
I didn't like Cebu as much.
Speaker 1 (56:59):
you're the only person that told me that
normally people tell me stayaway from Manila, go to Cebu.
Cebu is just boring.
Speaker 3 (57:06):
There's very little nightlife.
There's some, and I foundactually an hotel that was right
next to a club that I didpretty well at, but it's very
little nightlife.
And also I've never seen thecity as big as Cebu, that has as
crappy as Wi-Fi and I reallyhave Wi-Fi.
(57:28):
I need good Wi-Fi because I'mdoing all types of video
conferencing throughout the day,so I need really good Wi-Fi.
Speaker 1 (57:35):
Have you been to Angeles I?
Speaker 3 (57:37):
went to Angeles for a week.
Speaker 1 (57:38):
Cheat.
Was it cheat?
Has everyone said this?
Speaker 3 (57:42):
So it is very much like a very, very, very poor
man's walking street bataya.
Okay, with random bars outsideof the walking street.
Yeah, um, but like, if you'regoing there expecting bataya,
that's your own fault.
Uh, I, I did, I do my researchand I talk to people and they're
(58:03):
like, um, uh.
But there are people who thinklike they're going there and
they're like, oh, it's bataya,it's bataya, it is not Pattaya.
It is not Pattaya.
It is much smaller, it's alittle bit more expensive but,
like I said, I had fun.
What I would do is I would justmeet a couple guys.
We'd go to a club, buy a bottle, hang out, talk to girls and go
(58:29):
to some other bars, talk tosome trans women.
Yeah, it depends on what youwant out of it.
Like our friend Michelle,michelle did not like it at all.
Oh, you mean we do that?
No, he went with another friend, oh, so he said he didn't like
it at all.
They were supposed to spend afew days, but he only spent like
one or two and then went backto Manila because he didn't like
(58:51):
it at all, but because, yeah,it is very much a, like I said,
it's a poor man, very, very,very, very, very poor man's
Papilla that is, can be rifewith some shady areas, but you
can find cities similar toPattaya in Thailand.
Speaker 1 (59:14):
Actually, right, you don't have to go outside of
Thailand.
If you get sick of Pattaya, youcan go to other cities here and
find similar.
Speaker 3 (59:23):
I recommend Waheen for people who want a quieter
Pattaya without really the clublife, but still a very fun place
that's very cheap.
Speaker 2 (59:36):
You want to go there?
Yeah, I'd never be there.
Speaker 3 (59:39):
You should.
Very good beaches, not a lot ofpeople.
If you go as any guy under 50,you'll be like the belt of the
ball, okay.
Speaker 1 (59:52):
So a lot of competition.
Speaker 3 (59:54):
It's like 90% guys over 50.
But yeah, it's a lot of fun.
The beaches are great.
Usually, literally what you dois you go to the different
walking not walking streets, butyou go to different bar streets
.
Then you go to the one or twolate night clubs that are open
to one or two and then you justgo drink on the beach.
So you just find a girl, youtake her to the beach and you go
(01:00:17):
drink on the beach untilsunrise.
Sounds like fun.
It's great.
I love Wahine.
For those who haven't been, Iwould recommend Wahine.
Speaker 4 (01:00:24):
Great.
Speaker 1 (01:00:27):
Well, greg, we came to the one hour mark, so that's
it for this podcast.
Yeah, I want to thank you forjoining us yeah, thanks for
having me.
Speaker 3 (01:00:37):
We might do another podcast together.
Speaker 1 (01:00:40):
Sometimes, people always want seconds.
Yeah, I want to thank ourlisteners.
You can always message usthrough our email, which is
mytaiwifepod at gmailcom, andyou can send us actually direct
messages through Spotify.
Right now, it's a new featureover there.
Pim anything you want to say.
Speaker 2 (01:01:02):
Yeah, thank you so much, listeners.
Thank you for listening.
Speaker 1 (01:01:06):
We have more than one .
Speaker 2 (01:01:08):
We're listeners and thank you, it's my grandma.
Thank you, thank you for caseand say I'm for this time.
This is like my four, fourepisode, so thank you so much
(01:01:29):
for support us and I'm stillwaiting for your feedback, any
comments from you guys, and we'dlike to enjoy this episode.
Speaker 1 (01:01:47):
Thank you so much.
By the way, if someone wants tosupport us financially, go for
it.
We will do all the scammingthat's needed to get your money.
So, you can find our links, howyou can pay us.
Speaker 3 (01:01:58):
I knew they'd be asking for money eventually.
Speaker 1 (01:02:01):
How much do?
Speaker 3 (01:02:01):
you pay us, Greg.
I mean, it depends on thebedrooms right there.
Speaker 1 (01:02:07):
Greg, any closing words from you?
Speaker 3 (01:02:09):
No, I appreciate you having me on.
For those who love to travel,get out there.
Just make sure that you do yourresearch and don't act like
assholes when you come here.
It's becoming an epidemic.
Speaker 1 (01:02:24):
This can really be a whole episode talking about that
, because the things that wentin the last month in Thailand,
the things that foreigners do Berespectful- act like.
Because the things that went inthe last month in Thailand, the
things that foreigners do, yeah, Be respectful.
Speaker 3 (01:02:39):
Act like you're not better than everyone, because
everyone is dealing with theirown stuff and has to live their
own life.
So be respectful and toeveryone, locals and foreigners,
international, whoever you go,wherever you are.
Speaker 1 (01:02:53):
Yeah, just love each other.
Yes, love each other.
Yeah, love each other.
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (01:02:57):
Thank you very much.
Thank you very much.
See you next time.
Speaker 2 (01:02:59):
See you soon.
Bye-bye.
Hello everyone and welcome back to my Thai Wife
Podcast.
I'm Mike and I'm still doing itwithout my lovely, lovely wife
Sonali.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Hi everyone, good to see you again.
Welcome back to my Thai WifePodcast.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Good, you remember this.
Yeah, I do this is Bim, by theway.
You know her already.
How are you doing, Bim?
Speaker 2 (00:21):
I'm doing good, mike.
How about you?
I'm okay, I'm always okay.
How about you?
Speaker 1 (00:25):
I'm okay, I'm always okay, Like right in the middle
you know, yeah, today's simpleeh, and we got a guest today.
His name is Greg.
Yeah, not a guest.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
I mean it depends.
You know it's a high esteemregard.
I would say Okay.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
A guy I know that's better, yeah, I would say Okay.
A guy I know that's better,yeah, let's stick with that.
Greg is from the US, as youheard in his accent, obviously.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
Is it that obvious when?
Speaker 1 (00:56):
are you from Atlanta, georgia, atlanta, okay, and how
long have you been in Asia ingeneral?
Speaker 3 (01:05):
I started in 2018, went back for about a year and a
half over COVID, so overall sixyears, give or take the COVID
years.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
Okay, and you told me already, but how many countries
you visited in here in Asia?
Speaker 3 (01:27):
Overall I'm at 34 countries, including Europe, the
Americas, africa and Asia.
Total it's mostly China andSoutheast Asia, with random
Middle Eastern countries thrownin there.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
Which one I was in?
Qatar and Syria, syria, therewas a layover and I was able to
get in there for about 10 hours.
Speaker 4 (01:57):
Same thing, with.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
Qatar.
I was a layover.
I was able to get in there forabout 20 hours Ice times.
I mean no no, I was there.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
You know you hide the nose, it's fine yeah, I get
that, and eventually you findyourself in thailand, right?
Speaker 3 (02:17):
yeah, this is, uh, my third longish terms day.
I was here for eight months, uh, from 2019 to 2020.
After I was here for eightmonths from 2019 to 2020.
After COVID, I was here forover a year and now I'm back.
Now this is my second monthbeing back, after going home for
a couple months over theholidays, because I haven't been
home in about three years.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
And you normally always stay in Pattaya or you
travel around.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
No, most of the time I was actually in Bangkok.
This is the first time stayinglongish term in Pattaya, Because
mostly I was teaching in andaround Bangkok Okay great.
Speaker 4 (02:57):
So what's the reason?
Speaker 2 (02:59):
why I mean what's the reason?
In your opinion?
Yeah, what's the first reasonto come to travel in Thailand?
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Uh, do you mean, like , what is the reason he left his
home?
Speaker 4 (03:12):
Yeah okay.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Yeah, like that yeah.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
Well, the uh.
The main reason was to get outand travel.
I'm a huge traveler, obviously,with seeing 34 countries, um.
The Second reason was uh, was Ilove the beach?
Third reason was if I work foreither a Thai company getting
paid to teach here or if I workfor Western companies, the
conversion rate's a lot betterthan it is in the US and I don't
(03:39):
have to share a roommate if Idon't want to.
And then, specifically Thailand, not to mention the beach and
the cheapness, but also thetrans women as well, the much
more open community than a lotof other countries.
Yeah, but I guess the US iskind of open right now.
Open in that there are a lot ofpeople there, but still kind of
(04:06):
there's still a big stigma.
I would say especially in thetreating them like a fetish or a
sexual kink than anything else.
For instance, I did date atrans woman in the US for about
six months back when I was 26years old and I'm now 37.
(04:27):
But it's very hard to go onactual dates with trans women in
the US.
Why is that?
Because a lot of them justthink we want them to have sex.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
Oh, not because of that If other people will see
you with them, they will saysomething no, no.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
Like they think men just want them for sex.
Yeah, like they just see themas a sexual object.
They only see them as a fetish.
Okay so, and sometimes it'sdifficult to convince anyone of
something that they have apreconceived notion about, have
a preconceived notion about andyou know, and if you have, if 10
(05:08):
, 20, 30 experiences tell you,otherwise it's difficult to
believe.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
The 31st experience or the 32nd experience, of
course, but I think when peoplethat come to Thailand also look
at the ladyboys as a fetish Notall of them them, but some of
them.
I've seen guys go to bars.
Pay the ladyboy the bar fine,pay her the money, go to the
room and right after they finishwell, fucking, they just ran
(05:36):
out of the bar yeah, that islike I said.
Speaker 3 (05:40):
It's a huge stigma in the community it does.
Obviously there is a benefit tothe trans community in Thailand
for that, because there'shopefully a financial incentive
that works for them.
But I'm sure they wouldappreciate the other side of the
coin, where more men wereactually interested in forming
(06:04):
relationships of the coin, wheremore men were actually
interested in formingrelationships, forming actual
bonds and connections thatweren't just a financial,
transactional, sexual connection.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
I agree and disagree with you, and let me tell you
why.
Because most of the guys thatmeet ladyboys meet them at the
sex industries areas here inThailand and already, if they
want to get into a relationshipwith a ladyboy, the ladyboy will
ask some help me financially.
Right, you don't want me towalk in the bar?
(06:36):
No problem, give me X amount ofmoney you want me to go back
home.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
Give me X amount of money.
Speaker 3 (06:42):
That is not only for ladyboys, it's like ladies also,
I would say that's more of aculture thing than anything.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
No, but I don't know many guys that met Ladyboys here
in a normal setup.
When I say normal, you justyeah, but you are one of the few
right.
Speaker 3 (07:02):
Yeah, yeah, I mean, I think it also is where you're
meeting them.
If you're going to bars wherethey're half-naked, then the
assumption is that's what you'relooking for.
You can't be meeting transwomen on Grindr or on Tinder or
at a random hookup bar andexpect to be like, hey, let's go
(07:24):
on a real date and let's havean actual romantic connection.
There are real dating apps tomeet people.
There are real places out inthe wild to meet them.
Like dating I'm part of a.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
It sounds like a Pokemon, yeah, well, there's an.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
LGBTQ group in Bangkok that I'm a part of that.
I've met trans women throughthere who have real jobs,
quote-unquote real jobs thatlook for actual connections and
relationships.
And yeah, obviously it's notlike just flipping a turning
(08:03):
light, switch on and there youfind a bunch of normal guys who
want a normal relationship.
It's still you're going to dealwith the you can curse on here,
right?
Yeah, you're still going tomeet the whole asshole guy who
will tell him that, hey, yeah, Iwant to do this and this and
this, and then you have sex acouple times and then, okay, let
(08:27):
me slowly walk away it's like a.
Speaker 4 (08:29):
It's like a situation on like what has happened on on
the first time they meet.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
It's like a situation and conversation after that.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Yeah, right, everything is it yeah, it is,
but, as you said, like most ofthose girls have experienced the
sex on girls the time.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
Yeah, right, and I think even the girls that work
normal jobs, most of the peoplethat they meet that are
interested in them, probably areyeah, yeah, I mean, yeah, I
mean realistically, thepercentage of men who are coming
here to have sex with transversus the men who are looking
to have relationships with transis 10 to 1.
(09:11):
Or even higher.
Speaker 4 (09:14):
It's even higher than that yeah.
Well, higher, yeah Because 20sex guys versus one relationship
guy, 20 sex guys versus onerelationship guy.
Speaker 3 (09:23):
So, yeah, so, finding and finding that trans woman
who actually believes that youwant that relationship, um,
versus the.
The ones who you know are justuh, who just you know uh, use,
use you for what they can getfrom you, which more power to
them.
Uh, if you're at the guy'sgoing to use them for the sex,
(09:45):
they should use the man for thestuff their financial benefit as
long as well, even if you'renot being honest about it.
People lie about the crap allthe time, no matter what country
you're in.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
You said that you have met trans women in Thailand
in normal situations.
Right yeah, I dated one in 2019for about five months.
Speaker 3 (10:08):
How was that?
It was great.
I met her at a school.
Actually, she was a teacher,she was.
It was About.
It was actually the first job Ihad in Thailand.
It was about 45 minutes theother way of Rayong, yeah,
around that area, yeah.
(10:28):
So so I was in a very smallarea of school and I was like it
was like 10 minutes from thebeach.
So I was like perfect.
And there was a small schoolover there.
I met her.
Her name was Jane and we datedfor about five months while I
was teaching there.
And how was that, yeah, it wasgreat.
We had a great connection.
We were able to go out, havefun.
(10:52):
We came to Pattaya a coupletimes, went to Koh Samet.
Yeah, it was really fun for thefive months we were together
and there was no financial partof it involved.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
No, we never Did you support her in any way?
Speaker 3 (11:10):
No, I mean for the most part she did stay with me
because my place was bigger thanhers.
I'm an American teacher inThailand, so I paid more than a
Thai teacher, unfortunately.
But well, fortunately for meand unfortunately for them.
But you think it's double right?
Speaker 1 (11:27):
teacher.
Yeah, unfortunately, uh, but uh, well, fortunately for me,
unfortunately for them.
Speaker 3 (11:30):
Yeah, but, um, right, oh, yeah, I can, I can somehow
get triple, depending on theschool.
Um, just because, again,because my uh, because of my
experience and everything, uh,so I can, I can demand a little
bit more, okay, um, alsodepending on, uh, their
experience as well.
Yeah, yeah, like you, I would.
I would say I'm probablyequivalent to a teacher who's
been there 15, 20 years.
A Thai teacher has been there15, 20 years.
Speaker 4 (11:51):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (11:52):
Between 10 and 20.
Yeah, so the salaries can bequite an astronomical difference
.
Okay, yeah, so she stayed withme and I would.
I would pay a lot of stuff justbecause, like you know, you
wanted to be a gentleman.
Yeah, be a gentleman.
We're going out having funagain.
I make more, but no, there wasnever any.
(12:12):
Like hey, can I get fivethousand for my mom's mysterious
procedure or something that youhear from a lot of people?
Or you know, there was atornado that ripped through our
ancestral home, and can you giveme 10 to pay?
Speaker 1 (12:28):
have you seen the thing of on social media that
some thai lady here like renteda place and made it look like a
hospital and then people wouldpay her money in order to send
pictures to the boyfriend?
Speaker 3 (12:41):
that you saw, that I haven't seen seen it, but I know
they're.
Yeah, it's a scam going aroundthe world.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
She rented it.
A picture would cost about1,000 baht or something like
that, and then they would justsend it to their boyfriend that
currently are not in Thailand.
Oh, I'm in the hospital.
I got hit by a truck orwhatever.
Send me money.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
Oh really, yeah, it was here in Pattaya.
I never heard of that.
I'm sorry, I'm not a personI'll like follow the news, but,
yes, this is like oh, is thishow they did?
Speaker 1 (13:17):
she, so she rented a store right yeah and she made
the store look like a hospitalroom, ah, and had a hospital bed
and the hospital well, fakehospital equipment.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
The gowns, and the girls would just lay there on
the bed looking sick.
Take off the makeup.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
Make it my story.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
They would just send those pictures to the boyfriend.
The boyfriend would call therewould be someone dressed as a
doctor, blah, blah, blah, andthey would get the money.
It's so weird, it's not?
Speaker 3 (13:46):
weird, it's genius, no, I mean it's a great business
plan for the Taiwan.
The problem is there are menwho will fall for that and, to
be to be honest, I do not havesympathy for them.
If you're going to send moneyto someone you've never met,
that's on you.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
It's their boyfriends right, but right now they are
not here.
Speaker 3 (14:10):
They went back, but how?
Speaker 1 (14:13):
what is?
Speaker 3 (14:13):
there was there?
What is your definition ofmeeting someone?
Speaker 1 (14:19):
My definition is better, the guy's definition
right.
So he came to Thailand, forexample, stayed here for two
months, stayed there wholemonths.
The whole time he was here withone girl back home texting each
other.
Speaker 3 (14:32):
Yeah, I would say it's.
I would probably guess that themore common woman to guy scam
is not that they've beentogether for two months, that
they've maybe had a weektogether or less.
I highly doubt that.
I would imagine that there aresome, but I would push back on
(14:53):
the fact that these women havebeen with the guys for two plus
months and now they're trying tothat.
These women have been with theguys for two plus months and now
they're trying to scam them,Because most of the guys I know
who do that they don't have togo that route to get money.
They just send them the money.
Like I know a few guys who dothat, who come for a few months,
have their girlfriend go backand then they just send them
(15:13):
$5,000, $10,000 a month orsomething, because I mean, if
you're living in America, it'sonly 200-300 bucks a month, so
it's not that big of an issue.
So I would imagine that most ofthose scams are for people who
were together maybe a week orless.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
I'll give you my cousin what happened to him.
So my cousin came to Pattaya Ithink it was like 2014 or 15.
And immediately he fell in lovewith a girl.
She was named Lek.
I never met her, but he wastalking so much about her so I
(15:56):
remember him like, like right.
And after he went back to hishome I think two months no, one
month later she sent him apregnancy test and say listen,
I'm pregnant, but I have to takecare of your baby.
He, he, was smart enough to sayokay, no problem, I'm coming
(16:20):
back next week to Thailand, weare doing a pregnancy test.
If it's my baby, I will takecare.
If not, you pay me for theticket and the rest of the money
.
Immediately.
She disappeared, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (16:32):
Yeah, I mean there are stories like that running
the gamut.
As long as there's been theability to communicate with
people over long distances Iwould imagine back when there
was the telegraph system itwould be like you know I am
pregnant.
Stop Send money, stop yeah,like, really like that.
(16:55):
Stop calling me, stop Sorry.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
Have you scammed anyone before?
Speaker 2 (17:00):
Never, really, I never did that.
Speaker 3 (17:02):
Oh, I say yes, no, I'm a okay.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
I'll be here and when I'm I can't say I'm a when I'm
talking to someone.
I don't need to ask money froma guy.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
Yeah, but when he go home and sometimes you need some
money when he go home, probably, in my opinion.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
yeah, okay, I work in a bar.
Then they come here.
They come for holiday, right,so they spend all money in
holiday, of course, and theyback to home me like they work,
they earn.
So, how I can do so.
I have to earn my money also.
That's why it's like if theyback home I did not ask their
(17:47):
money and Depends on like theywould like to give me.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
One in how many girls in so she's the only one that
never scammed anyone.
You want to give factor ratio?
Give factor ratio One in howmany girls in Pattaya so she's
the only one that never scammedanyone.
Speaker 3 (18:01):
Well, she said, if they want to give her money,
what is the conversation whereit goes?
They want to just send yourandomly.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
I'm not out for something like that.
You're not making a story theway.
Yeah, I'm not making story toask money from people, if I hey
give me 5,000.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
Yeah, not not do that .
Speaker 3 (18:24):
It's right below the line you know, like, like, oh
man, I'm struggling strugglingin Thailand you know, no one did
Katia it's very hard to eat.
Let me let me.
Speaker 4 (18:37):
Let me call my mom.
It's like it's very hard to eat.
Speaker 3 (18:39):
Let me call my mom.
No, no, don't call your mom,let me send you mine.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
This is how.
I feel, I'm not doing that toask money.
You know what I mean.
I'm just explaining what isgoing on but I'm not like, can
you help me this?
Speaker 4 (19:02):
how, like, how people like to say but I'm not saying
that after I say my story.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
But right is this, is this like, and I have, yeah,
have guys like, yeah, like wouldlike to save me money like you,
want me to help you and Afterthat I guess it like no, I can
say I know, have you always saidno, come on, be honest, depends
(19:40):
on these guys who say theydon't pay for sex and then they
end up getting like a thousandbaht for a 50 baht taxi ride.
Speaker 4 (19:44):
Yeah, it's like me like.
Oh yeah, you didn't pay for sex.
Speaker 3 (19:45):
You just paid for their ride home.
Speaker 4 (19:47):
It's like like why are?
Speaker 2 (19:48):
we we're splitting hairs, I gotta say like, for me
it's just like if I'm doesn'tknow that guy really well I mean
like not spent for long.
It's like I'm not.
I'm not, um.
If they ask me to help me, Isay no, you know.
Only.
Only I know them really well,like really close, like stay
(20:11):
with them or know them for overyears, like we know each other
and we touch each other, sodoesn't have the problem about
like why you ask me money, whyyou do this, do that.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
Why you're Because there is already connection.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Yeah, already connection with like over a year
.
Speaker 1 (20:32):
We know each other for long then try to I think I
guess okay, I'm then try thisorder.
I think I guess okay, I'm notsure.
But I think most of the guysthat stayed with you more than
one time when they came toPattaya would say every week two
or three times they want tostay with you when they go home.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
They will still text you, right, right but that
doesn't mean like if they backhome, I would like to ask them
money after that because youdon't mind if they offer.
Speaker 3 (20:57):
If they offer, check the instagram history search.
Can you help?
Speaker 2 (21:11):
yeah, only I, I know them, that's it.
But if I just see them Like fora few times, Like One week I'm
not really Not really Let themhelp me Because you know, like I
don't want to be the lady theyare Thought.
(21:32):
You know they always think Iknow like Everyone hear about
Lady, lady Asmani, lady Bahasani, so I don't want to be like
that thought.
Okay, you know they alwaysthink I know like everyone here
about lady, lady ask money.
So I don't want to be like that, I don't want to ask many guys
I know for money.
But yeah, is they give me?
I'm okay thank you, but onlyfrom who I really know, okay she
(21:53):
has her sob story ready to go?
Speaker 3 (21:54):
Yeah, but probably.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
If I can say, I say no Because I want to work and
earn money by my own.
To be, honest, have you beenscammed before?
Speaker 3 (22:08):
Oh yeah, oh really, mm-hmm, we can the the ex that I
was just dating.
We had known each other forover a year.
We had dated.
She's a Thai lady.
Yeah, okay, we had dated for acouple months, just like I was
(22:35):
in Bangkok.
She was here, that's how itwould come.
Was in bangkok, she was here,probably that's how it come, um,
but we would just go on dates,um, and then um, but we were
talking and everything, uh, andthen, um, I got uh denied a visa
at the border a few months ago,so I decided to go home for the
holidays and we started talkingeven more.
Um, we had stopped talking fora few months, but then, after
(22:58):
that we stopped, we startedtalking again.
Um and uh, we werecommunicating, talking and we
were like, okay, I'm gonna comeback and you know, hey, let's
give it uh, now that I'm gonnabe doing the digital nomad,
let's give it the old collegetry and let's uh see if it'll.
You know, there's somethingreal, not just like a short time
thing, but like, let's give ita, let's see if there's
something real, not just like ashort time thing, but let's live
(23:20):
together and try something.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
Oh, actually live together.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
Yeah, I was staying with her for the last month and
a half that I was here, okay,moved in with her right before
Suncom, okay, and I'd send hermoney over the time.
Is she a Gigi?
No, she's a cisgender woman,okay, yeah, born woman, and I'd
send her money over the time.
Is she a Gigi or in any way?
No, she's a cisgender woman,yeah, born woman.
And so, yeah, we were datingfor the last month and a half, I
(23:47):
guess, for the last four months, whatever, and it was more like
it was fine.
But she kept, you know, doingthe insisting without insisting,
like that that maybe she likelikes to do.
You know, like they're all notasking but asking.
You know that, like, and sheshe'd always bring up, like you
(24:09):
know, doing this.
I'm like, yes, but you knowthat, uh, over, uh, uh, coming
back in philippines, andra, Ispent a little bit too much
money, so I had to wait until Igot paid again and everything
was going to be set.
But she was like, oh, we're notdoing enough, we're not
spending enough, we're not allthat.
And I was like all right, mything has always been have you
(24:35):
ever seen it's a Wonderful Life?
I'm sure I have.
It's an old Christmas movieabout this guy who decides to
kill himself and this angelshows him what the world would
be like without him.
Okay, so I haven't seen it.
A black and white movie fromthe 40s, I believe, one of the
biggest Christmas movies ever.
(24:55):
It's fun, really great movie.
There's a woman that he likesand his whole thing is like oh,
do you want the moon?
I'll get a lasso and a rope andI'll lasso you the moon.
So my thing has always beenpeople always want the moon, but
they don't want to wait for thelasso to be built.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
Okay, I get that.
Speaker 3 (25:15):
Yeah, so I left about a week ago, and that's why I'm
now over in Jomtien.
Oh, okay.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
So you got her like after that you see her?
Speaker 3 (25:26):
No, I haven't seen her since I left.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
Oh Sorry, I left her place Monday and I went to put
my app out.
You lived together and then youjust went to Jomtien.
Speaker 3 (25:36):
Yeah, I got an Airbnb and jump in but you said before
.
Speaker 1 (25:41):
I'm not sharing the subject, but they just want to
make sure.
You said before you're moreinto trans woman, right, I'm 50,
50.
Speaker 3 (25:51):
I'm all about.
I'm about the connection.
If I connect with a trans woman, I'll pursue her.
If I connect with a cisgenderwoman, I'll pursue her.
You know that's.
You know I could.
I could go to a trans ladyboybar and, you know, have fun with
(26:12):
them and go to a club and havefun with a few cisgender women
at the club and go away withfour or five different numbers
of trans or cisgender women andtalk with them and see what
happens.
But no, for me it's all aboutthe connection and what happens
after.
So there's no.
The only specifics I put on arelationship, especially now, is
(26:38):
more along thedominant-submissive thing that
I'm interested in.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
So that's the only Submissive one.
Speaker 3 (26:44):
Yeah.
So whether I'm dating acisgender woman or a trans woman
, they have to at least be inthe dominant realm, okay.
Speaker 1 (26:54):
So if you are submissive, I guess you are the
bottom, right, yeah.
So when you are with a ciswoman, well, I fucking hate to
say cis woman, I'm sorry to allthe world.
Guys fuck it.
When you are with a girl, right, she have a pussy, right yeah,
but you are using a strap-on.
Speaker 4 (27:11):
Yeah, I have my own strap-on.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
Okay, and you fuck her sometimes also, I guess.
Speaker 3 (27:16):
Yeah, I still have a dick that works yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
I know it's a weird question.
I just try to understand itbecause I've never been in that
position, so I really don't knowwhat's going on.
Speaker 3 (27:28):
Like with my ex that I just left.
That was purely a vanillarelationship.
Okay, there was no dominationsubmission thing at all, it was
a purely vanilla.
Uh, I was the quote unquotenormal man role, she was the
quote unquote normal femininerole.
Uh, she did, she knew.
Uh, she knew vaguely about mydomination submission interest,
(27:49):
but uh, we didn't really getinto it.
Um, so, we never, we, we neverwent into that area.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
So it depends on the woman's relationship, and you
can still be in a relationshipwithout that.
Speaker 3 (28:02):
Yeah, but I'm actively pursuing the domination
submission relationship Okay,it's commonly called FLR.
Female-led relationship Okay,that's the type.
If you see my profile on anydating app, you'll see it has
that somewhere in the profile.
That that's what I'm lookingfor.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
Have you tried the BDSM clubs here in Pathe?
Speaker 3 (28:23):
Yeah, I'm a part of a group in Bangkok.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
No, no, I mean here in Pathe.
Yeah, I've been to Castle.
Speaker 3 (28:28):
That was back in.
I haven't been since 2019.
Do you know the Castle?
Speaker 2 (28:32):
Have you heard about it?
Speaker 1 (28:32):
What the castle?
The castle, so it's a club inThird Road, just in front of the
hospital.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
Uh-huh Right, yeah, it's usually you'll.
Usually it's very hard to seebecause they don't have any
lights.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
They keep it very dark.
You have to pay, I think $1,000, to get inside, just to get
inside.
I don't know what it costs now.
Speaker 3 (28:51):
The last time I went was 2019.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
I don't know what it costs now I spoke with someone,
with one of my other friends.
He said it's 1000 just to getinside, and then there are women
and trans women over there andI guess some men also that you
have to set the price with them,and then they will do.
(29:15):
Do you know what BDSM means?
Speaker 2 (29:20):
I can't say I'm here about it, but I don't know where
is it.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
I think we have the perfect guest.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
Yeah, because for me I can't say I can say I have
experience with Tristan and justme, and with me ladyboy and
(29:48):
with a guy, like two ladyboysand guys, two ladyboys with a
guy and me lady with a guy.
But I'm lady boy, a lady withme.
We are.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
You're not fucking together.
No, no, both of you fucking theman.
Yeah, with the man.
Speaker 2 (30:04):
So for me I prefer to have with the man, Okay, and I
also know how about people who?
Speaker 1 (30:11):
have sex.
So BDSM is not only about sex.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
Not about sex, yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
No, it can be about sex.
Speaker 3 (30:18):
Specifically it stands for Bondage, discipline,
domination, submission, and youknow there's all levels.
But you know, if you think oflike the way I explain it To a
lot of people in Asia as peoplewho don't know about it, is it's
a real Fifty Shades of Grey.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
Have you seen the movie Fifty Shades of Grey?
Speaker 3 (30:42):
No, it's all about being restrained.
It's all about being whipped,spanked, choked, latex.
Speaker 1 (30:54):
It's not only about the pain, by the way.
It's mostly about, as you said,said, feeling that you are
powerless right, it's, it's apower play, control.
Speaker 3 (31:02):
There's Different abuse.
There's mental, physical.
I'm more, much more, on themental, verbal side than the
physical, but I do like thephysical as well.
But yeah, it's really all aboutyou know.
But yeah, it's really all aboutyou know, letting the other
person take control and givingthem that, that power to do
(31:23):
whatever they want within theguidelines of what you have
talked about before.
A lot of people think you, justyou, just you just give it up
and they can do whatever theywant.
That's that's not what it is.
There is clearly definedparameters in any real BDSM
relationship For those listening.
(31:43):
If they try to act like there'sno rules, do not go with them.
They're not a real proponent ofit.
Sounds like they all talk aboutexperience.
Speaker 4 (31:54):
It's a big thing in my community.
Speaker 3 (31:56):
Like I said, I'm part of the bangkok community.
Um, I'm not going to shout themout because I don't know they
want to be shouted out, but, uh,there's a specific group that
we're a part of and it's a bigthing.
Talking about consent, thepoint is you're being consensual
with everything you do andthere will be people you will
meet who will try to act likethat because they have control
(32:17):
that you don't get consent,which is not how it works.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
I want to ask you because I've never been involved
in that scene.
So, let's say, I'm going tohave a session with the person
right?
Speaker 3 (32:28):
So before that we set the rules, like, I want to be
this part and I don't want youto do this to me, so you'll have
what's called uh hard, uh hardnose, soft nose, uh hard nose is
like we don't even talk aboutit, touch it, don't even get
near it.
Like for me is uh branding?
Uh, because what is branding?
Branding like you know, uh, youget branded like oh yeah, um,
(32:54):
no.
So branding is a big oneTattoos, you know, jewish and
everything.
So that's a big thing.
For me is no branding.
Soft stuff is like beingwhipped, because my soft is like
a 1 to 10 threshold, probablylike a 6 or 7.
But depending on where I can goover.
But then there's safe words.
So, for instance, my safe wordsare green, yellow, red, green,
(33:18):
good to go red, stopautomatically, yellow, slow down
or do something a little bitdifferent.
So that's all discussed priorto doing anything so is this
like?
Speaker 2 (33:30):
is this thing?
Is this like okay, I know it'sThailand, so others, how about
other countries?
Speaker 4 (33:36):
it's just like okay, I know it's hot in Thailand,
yeah right, oh, yeah, so otterhow about other country?
Speaker 2 (33:40):
about?
You know, it's like half otter.
Speaker 1 (33:43):
You want to compare, like the scene in Thailand, to,
let's say, the US.
Speaker 2 (33:47):
No, no, I mean like how many?
Like it's half the clubs likethis you're right, so it's some.
Speaker 4 (33:55):
It's not only clubs, it's like the clubs, like this.
You're right, so is it somesome?
Speaker 2 (33:58):
Community in Thailand .
Right, but Like have somewherealso yeah.
Speaker 3 (34:06):
Yep, like you can find it probably in most major
cities.
You'll find at least one clubShanghai.
Speaker 1 (34:12):
Shanghai has a club.
Speaker 3 (34:14):
Yeah, Shanghai has a club.
Yeah, I don't know if there's aclub, I don't know why there
hasn't been, but yeah, nice,shanghai has a club.
Manila has a club.
Pretty sure, there's one in HoChi Minh and one in Bali.
Now, the actual intensity ofthe club varies.
(34:35):
Very strong community, yeah,and the the sizes, but a lot of
it will just be based around thecommunity and there's a big
website.
If anyone's interested, you goto FetLife, f-e-t-l-i-f-e,
fetlifecom.
It's a big fetish communitythat that there's communities.
You can join groups, you canjoin questions answered at
(34:58):
people and there'll pretty muchbe a community in every major
country that you can meet withpeople called munches.
Where you can, they'll have.
For instance, there's a monthlymunch in Thailand.
So if you go on FetLife you'llsee the Thailand group.
You can, if you're interested,you can join the group.
It's just a gathering of thepeople who talk about their
(35:19):
interests.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
The munchies.
Speaker 3 (35:20):
They gather the munchies is a gathering.
Basically it's like a monthly.
For instance, the Thailandgroup does a monthly gathering.
Okay, so it's a great way toconnect with people in the scene
.
Talk about your interestswithout any type of of impunity
or about insulting or anything.
Okay, like a lot of peoplearen't as out as me, like, my
(35:40):
family and friends know allabout my trans interest.
They know an extent of mysubmission interest, yeah, but
you know it's not like Iwouldn't, like I'm not going to
talk to my dad about a session Ijust had with a dominatrix.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
I think you would speak it out with with your
friends about it, not becauseyou're shy about it.
Speaker 3 (35:58):
I think it's very personal it's just not a
conversation that I'm not goingto talk about much sex with my
friends, because there's reallyno reason to.
You know, like I'm not going tolike, especially with the ones
who are married.
It's like they're talking abouttheir sex life.
It's like, well, I know who thegirl is, so, uh, I've been in
(36:19):
the wedding parties for almostall of them, so, um, so, yeah,
you know, you don't, yeah, youknow your close friends that you
have that, like that, really,like most of our friends I've
known for 10 plus years at thispoint, um, they know all my
interests but I don't have likefull-on sex talks with them.
Like I do with the community inThailand or the community in
(36:39):
Atlanta.
Speaker 4 (36:40):
Yeah, it's like you don't have to explain what you
like.
Speaker 2 (36:45):
Yeah into or what is your favorite thing to do.
You don't have to explain toeveryone.
Speaker 1 (36:50):
Not everyone, but I think he said something right
before, right now, after he'sbeen into a vanilla relationship
.
I think the next time you meeta person that you might be
interested in going into arelationship, you'll be much
more clear about that and youwill actually look for someone
that does kind of into it.
Speaker 3 (37:08):
Yeah, that is the idea and I try to put it out
there to begin with.
But again, it requires theright person, especially in Asia
, where it's not as widespreadas it is in other Western?
Speaker 1 (37:21):
Yeah, but there are no foreigners here, yeah, and
you're not only interested inAsians, in Asian people, right?
Speaker 3 (37:29):
Yeah, but even the community for dominant women,
submissive men, is small ingeneral.
Really, oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:39):
I thought this was macho.
Speaker 3 (37:40):
No, well, so there is in the financial sexual sphere.
The actual women who want areal relationship in that sphere
is a lot smaller than the womenwho want a submissive
relationship with dominant men.
Yeah, just because of you knowsociety and history and
(38:02):
everything, yeah, so, yeah.
So, for instance, I've known alot of dominatrixes who they've
been doing the job for years butthey're not interested in, like
, the actual romanticrelationship, part of it.
Okay, they want a more romanticrelationship and then they
(38:24):
still do their vanilla.
Speaker 1 (38:25):
It's a job for them yeah.
Speaker 3 (38:28):
And if they are in a relationship, they just don't do
the sex part.
Most of them don't do the sexpart anyway, unless the most
they do is pegging.
Okay, do you know what peggingis Pegging?
Is it pegging Strap-on?
Speaker 1 (38:40):
Strap-on.
A lady will wear a strap-on.
Speaker 2 (38:44):
Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and then she will fuck the man.
Okay, I understand, you don'tneed a strap-on, but I mean for
a lady.
Speaker 1 (38:50):
I know that I started .
Speaker 3 (38:53):
when I hit puberty I started watching porn.
Femme dom porn was the mostappealing to me, and then I got
into pegging.
And then once I was like I gotinto pegging I was like, oh well
, if the woman looks amazing andhas a real dick, then they can
actually feel it more than thedildo.
I was like that's a logicalmove over.
So that kind of started mytrans interest.
Speaker 1 (39:15):
And you've been with men also right over.
Speaker 3 (39:19):
So that kind of started my trans interest.
And you've been with men also,right, yeah, uh, in like two or
three, um, yeah, uh, men are notmy general sexual interest.
Uh, because I'm very specificin my male attraction.
Uh, you have to be verytwinkish or a very feminine type
man and then you have to bealso dominant top, which most
(39:45):
twinks and femme men are not.
So I've only been with her.
I think I'm only two at themoment.
I think maybe a third of usmostly been two and they were
like once or twice, they weren'tlike anything.
Speaker 1 (39:56):
It's also here especially, but it's a thin line
between a femme boy and wespoke about it a femme boy and a
lady boy.
It's a very thin line, yeah.
Speaker 3 (40:06):
I mean, like I said, for me it's always I have.
I know whether or not I'mattracted to you within the
first five seconds.
Okay, if I'm not attracted toyou immediately, I'm never going
to become attracted to you.
Speaker 1 (40:18):
It's funny.
It's funny that you said that,because you said you're all
about the connection.
Connection takes longer thanfive seconds.
Speaker 3 (40:23):
No immediate connection Immediate.
Speaker 1 (40:25):
You mean All my connections are immediate?
Okay, yeah.
Speaker 3 (40:34):
But then they so.
Speaker 4 (40:34):
So it's based more on the looks, so I have a, so
there's a.
There's two thresholds?
Speaker 3 (40:37):
Yeah, there's the immediate threshold where, if I
see you and the first whateverseconds of us meeting, I'm
interested in you or not.
It's, there's.
No, there's never been a Transwoman or man where I didn't
immediately find them attractive, wanting to talk to them, who I
(40:58):
wanted to talk to attract tolater on.
It's never happened in my 37years of living where if I
didn't know immediatelynothing's going to happen.
Then there's a second thresholdwhere that connection actually
comes after that, where, nowthat we're talking, dancing,
(41:18):
connecting, that's where therest of the intimacy comes from
it's like you see someone andyou feel attracted with like
type type of people.
You mean physical connectionlike like type type of physical
connection, it can be, yeah,yeah, can be a physical
connection could be uh could bejust how they're uh, how they're
(41:41):
uh moving, how they're looking,how they're acting, um, there
could be any type of uh,whatever they're doing within
that moment, um, that I just uh,that I just spark, spark to,
and then that's it and it's offto the races.
That I'll usually go up andtalk to that person because I
don't I'm not shy and I'mconfident, so I'll just yeah,
(42:02):
hey, I find you attractive.
Speaker 2 (42:03):
I want to talk to you more.
Speaker 1 (42:06):
The person have like body language or you know like
movement you saw them and youlike oh think about it like that
okay, you go to a club yeah,and you see some guy that dances
very well.
Yeah, oh, he dances well.
I want to dance with him, right?
Speaker 3 (42:25):
that's what he means immediate connection, that's
part of it, yeah and yeah, andthen, like it could be how they
look, could be how they look,could be how they move, could be
.
You know, I heard them having aconversation about something
and I was like, hey, that was.
Yeah, I like the sound of theirvoice or whatever.
But, like I said, it's alwaysthat very quick, immediate thing
and if it doesn't, if it's notthat immediate, it's never going
(42:46):
to change.
Speaker 1 (42:47):
And how do you find like there is a bit of language
barrier here in Thailand?
Right, it's not a nativelanguage and, compared to the
Philippines, the Thai don'tspeak very well yeah, you know,
they don't understand most ofthe things that, like the terms
that you normally use, you haveto really explain them in order
(43:09):
to them to understand.
Have you find it difficult toget more real connections here
in Thailand with the Thais?
Speaker 3 (43:15):
Well, I usually just pull down my shorts and show
them my ass, and then they getit.
Speaker 2 (43:21):
Take it easy.
Speaker 3 (43:23):
Learn from the master .
It's going to depend on theperson.
Some of them are going to beable to hold a conversation,
some of them are not.
But even if they're not able tohold a conversation, I dated a
(43:43):
woman in China for about eightmonths.
Pretty much 90% of ourrelationship was through WeChat.
So in translation yeah, it wasactually funny.
Speaker 1 (43:56):
We?
Um.
I don't have wechat so I don'tknow the features.
It's yeah, it's just.
Speaker 3 (43:59):
It's just a chinese version of whatsapp yeah, um, so
, uh, so we did it and we didfor about eight months and, uh,
like the 90 percent of ourconversation was through wechat
because she couldn't speakenglish.
Uh, it was actually funny.
Um, I had a buddy who waslearning Chinese, who went to
school, and then he joined myteaching company.
Speaker 1 (44:18):
Okay, yeah, he was British.
Speaker 3 (44:22):
I hooked him up with her assistant and then she would
pay for all four of us to go ontrips and then we would use him
as a translator for theconversation.
He would just facilitate theconversation because his Chinese
was pretty good.
It was probably 60% to 70%fluent in Chinese.
Speaker 1 (44:39):
That's enough to a whole conversation, yeah.
Speaker 3 (44:41):
So he would be facilitating the conversation
and her assistant was probably30% or 40%.
So I hooked him up with her.
And so my girlfriend, who justwanted to have a social group
she would just pay for everyonebecause she was rich and so he
would be translating like rightup until me, and her gave us the
(45:03):
eyes and was like alright, nowit's time for the bedroom stuff
and we don't need him.
Speaker 1 (45:10):
I found it that when I'm with my wife and I really
want to have some deepconversation, even she my wife
can speak decent English.
Okay, let's say better than 80%of the ties that you will meet.
But when I want to have a realdeep conversation or talk about
(45:34):
something serious, I also turnto the translator, because
sometimes I don't want toexplain every term that I use.
If I really want to talk aboutsomething, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (45:46):
And you also want to make sure that the points are
getting across.
Yeah, because even if someoneis pretty decent in speaking
whatever language, there couldalways be a mistake, and that
mistake could be catastrophic.
Yeah, one word could meansomething very different, right,
I'm pretty sure.
(46:07):
Like, for instance, bomb inPolish is a cuss word, bomb,
bomb Like B-O-M.
Speaker 1 (46:13):
Bomb, bomb.
I never heard this cuss word.
Speaker 3 (46:16):
Yeah, okay um, but obviously, if you say, like most
people, you think bomb, youthink of a explosive device, um,
so uh, very interesting to talkto a polish woman like yeah,
yeah, so yeah, just the uhdealing with translation issues
(46:38):
is just a uh, just a part oftraveling um and yeah, but
traveling is something like it'sone thing, but getting into a
serious relationship with aperson without good
communication like you, you miss80% of the relationship, I
think.
I mean, if you're putting itdepends on what you're putting
(46:59):
the stock into.
If you're putting stock intothe emotional verbal connection,
then yeah, you don't go therenormally in your relationships.
Speaker 1 (47:08):
I do, but it's not what.
Speaker 3 (47:09):
I'm putting emphasis on, even if she is a let's say,
she has 80, 90% English.
What I'm putting our emphasison in our relationship is what
we're connecting, on what we'reable to.
Can me and her go to the cluband have a good couple hours?
(47:30):
Can me and her stay at home andwatch a movie and not talk and
just cuddle and watch a movie?
Can me and her go to arestaurant have fun conversation
about the old guy walking downthe street who can't pull his
shorts up?
If there's a deep, intimateconversation that can follow,
(47:51):
that cool.
But as long as there'ssomething to put the
relationship on, that's what, inmy opinion.
That's what matters.
It doesn't have to be.
A lot of people, I think, puttoo much emphasis on having deep
conversations with someone.
Speaker 1 (48:07):
I do.
This is why I'm kind ofsurprised, because for me it was
always like that.
It's very important to me whenI have a connection, even with
the friends, right.
Even when I met you, we hadsome deep conversations also,
right?
So I don't know, this is mystance.
I'm very shocked sometimes tohear that some relationship
(48:28):
never goes this route, you know.
Speaker 3 (48:30):
And maybe it's my job .
I mean, I'm I'm speaking withuh for 20 plus hours of the week
.
I'm speaking with, uh,different levels of english, uh,
uh, english, uh, fluency withpeople all over the world, uh,
and you know we can haveconversations, but on my side
(48:52):
it's, you know, it's verysuperficial for the most part,
because, for me, I'm focusedsolely on improving their
English.
I'm focused on giving themfeedback, I'm focused on
facilitating their English needs, which is usually professional.
So I'm trying to help them getto where they want to be.
Them get to where they want tobe.
(49:15):
Yeah, um, so maybe it comesjust from that, with the fact
that, like I can have a, I canhave a general conversation with
anyone.
Whether it's deep or not, forme doesn't have, doesn't really
matter, okay I can say like umI'm a person like if I'm talking
in a deep conversation.
Speaker 2 (49:30):
Yeah, yeah, I'm not really like translate to to
explain because, like yeah, whenyou, when you're talking in a
deep conversation, you use a lotwith emotional to talk, it's
very important, More than likeif you're writing something with
unemotional, it's just feelinglike yeah, it's feeling like
(49:53):
like this yeah, it's feelinglike this is like um doesn't
feeling with this conversationand so what is this?
What is this like you mean?
What do you mean is this?
Is it mean good or bad?
Speaker 1 (50:08):
so you would?
You would rather, for example,struggle a bit with the
conversation, but still get thepoint without using translation
right?
Speaker 2 (50:18):
Yeah, it's like for me, I'm Thai, but, right, I can
talk in a deep conversation, buthe doesn't care.
Speaker 1 (50:27):
Like I say to him, I can't speak English and I'm not
understand English, so just talkto me just say to me, and if
there is a word you don'tunderstand, you will ask what do
you mean, right, yeah?
Speaker 2 (50:47):
but you know what?
What that guy did to me?
He just text, you know, writingon the translator and let this
speak yeah, translate speak tothai and I feel like what I tell
you already to speak to me.
Talk to me, but you usetranslate.
Speaker 1 (51:07):
Don't give you enough credit.
You think you're already.
Oh, she's so stupid she willnot understand what I'm.
Speaker 2 (51:11):
Yeah, and and it and it's still like well, you
translate is not a good way to.
Speaker 4 (51:19):
Makes it very superficial.
Speaker 2 (51:21):
Yeah, not always a good way to talk in a deep
conversation.
For me, really, it was part ofthe issue.
Speaker 3 (51:27):
I think with my ex.
Her English wasn't that good,she's probably 30, 40%.
Okay, her English wasn't thatgood, she's probably 30, 40%.
But one of her issues was herfavorite mode of expressing her
disappointment or anger orwhatever was a silent treatment,
which to me doesn't work.
(51:48):
I hate the fact that if you gointo a silent treatment, I'm
going to be really pissed offbecause I don't think it
benefits any part of whateverwe're trying to do.
I hate the fact that if you gointo the silent treatment, I'm
going to be really pissed offBecause I don't think it
benefits any part of whateverwe're trying to do.
You know the meme about it.
Speaker 1 (52:00):
There is a meme that one lady you see the lady and
she says, okay, I will not speakwith him the whole day because
he did to me.
Speaker 4 (52:06):
X and.
Speaker 1 (52:07):
Y and you see the man is just having fun.
Wow, the best day of my life.
Speaker 3 (52:19):
He's not even aware that she's not speaking to him.
He just have his own quiet.
You know, yeah, yeah, it's evenstuff like that.
Yeah, they're not in arelationship, uh, but yeah, so,
uh like uh, that's that's theissue, that, uh, that's where
conversation for me needs tohappen, uh, where, um, uh like I
came home drunk at like 5 or 6am and she didn't express to me
that she didn't like that.
She just didn't talk to me forlike the next 12 hours of the
(52:42):
day and I was like I kept askinghey, what's up?
What are we doing for lunch?
What's?
What's going on?
nothing so yeah, like I pissedme off and then that was the
beginning of the end, because Iwas like I'm gonna be drinking
and that's it.
Speaker 2 (52:57):
I'm not I'm not cheating I'm not abusive and I'm
not yelling like that you know.
You know what the question islike when, when guy asks any
question of food lunch,breakfast or dinner, whatever we
are like when you ask lady Thai, lady like to answer when the
guy asked lady like would youlike to eat, and lady would like
(53:18):
to say whatever you know, youknow what I mean that's bullshit
, because most of Thai ladiesdon't even like foreign food so
I would take her to a pastaplace or whatever, and she would
say oh no, I don't eat that.
Speaker 3 (53:32):
And to be fair, I think that's a universal woman
thing.
They all like to say whateverand then you make a pick and
they're like that's not what Iwant.
Speaker 1 (53:41):
I know many foreigners that don't like to
eat Thai food.
Okay, because it's too spicy orthey don't like the ingredients
.
I love spicy food.
I also.
Speaker 2 (53:50):
Right Me also.
I don't like spicy food, youdon't like spicy food.
Speaker 1 (53:53):
I don't like spicy food.
Do you prefer Thai food orforeign food?
Speaker 2 (53:57):
If I prefer Thai food with non-chili?
Speaker 1 (54:00):
Okay, but still I'm sure if I would take you to a
place that serves I don't knowLebanese cuisine you'd say what
the fuck am I eating?
Speaker 2 (54:07):
I?
Speaker 4 (54:07):
don't want to eat that.
Speaker 1 (54:08):
That's not tasty for for me not because the Lebanese
cuisine is not good, justbecause you don't like it.
Speaker 2 (54:13):
Yeah, and then you what?
Why do you say whatever?
Speaker 3 (54:16):
Yeah, there's a ringing buffet, like parallel
walking street.
By the way, which one?
I don't college?
I think it says already aboutfail.
I don't know what's called.
Speaker 1 (54:26):
There is a really good restaurant that we've gone
there, I think, three, two timesa week at least me and my
friend.
You know which one I'm talkingabout.
It's called Al Iwan.
It's near the VC hotel, thebest Arab restaurant you can
find, and I tried most of themif you go on a Friday or weekend
, I'll join you.
Obviously I can't do Monday orThursday, but I'll join you on
(54:48):
the weekend I'm telling you, asa person that comes from a
country, that we have a lot ofgenuine Arab food.
It's 100% authentic Sure.
Speaker 3 (54:58):
It's amazing, I eat everything.
Speaker 1 (55:00):
It's called Aliwan.
It's on the second road on thecorner of Soy BC.
It's really good, nice yeah.
Before you said something thatI wanted to ask.
You said that last time theydenied your visa right and you
had to go back home.
Yeah, what is your visasituation right now?
Speaker 3 (55:16):
I am on a visa on arrival.
Speaker 1 (55:20):
So that gives me how long to this visa, which gave
you 60 days 60 days.
Speaker 3 (55:24):
I could extend it for 30, which I'll have to do in
about two and a half weeks.
Speaker 1 (55:28):
Ah, it's very easy.
You just go to Jumdien and1,900 baht, and that's it.
Speaker 3 (55:34):
The problem was last year I had a job and the problem
was the work visa was takingtoo long.
Okay Well, my documents tooktoo long back home and then the
work visa was taking too long,so I had to do one more visa run
.
So I went to Vietnam for theweekend and I came back and they
denied me because they saidthat I had done too many visa
(55:57):
runs.
Speaker 1 (55:58):
And what would you do next time they would tell you
no?
Would you find another countryto be in, or you would think
about changing your visa.
Speaker 3 (56:06):
Well, I mean, I doubt they would do it again, but my
current plan is to be stickingwith the digital nomading, where
I'll just be following thevisas.
Speaker 1 (56:15):
So so you're not necessarily staying in Thailand
what my plan is.
Speaker 3 (56:19):
I'll do the 90 days, probably go somewhere for a
month or two and I'll come backfor another 90 days and then
because I, one of my goodbuddies, should be back sometime
late in the year, so I don'twant to get denied before he
comes back.
Okay, so I'm thinking aboutgoing to Bali or Malaysia, or,
(56:43):
if I can figure out how toafford Korea, I might do Korea.
What about the Philippines?
I just came from thePhilippines.
Okay, I did a month in thePhilippines over March.
You liked it?
Yeah, it was fun.
Manila was alright.
I didn't like Cebu as much.
Speaker 1 (56:59):
you're the only person that told me that
normally people tell me stayaway from Manila, go to Cebu.
Cebu is just boring.
Speaker 3 (57:06):
There's very little nightlife.
There's some, and I foundactually an hotel that was right
next to a club that I didpretty well at, but it's very
little nightlife.
And also I've never seen thecity as big as Cebu, that has as
crappy as Wi-Fi and I reallyhave Wi-Fi.
(57:28):
I need good Wi-Fi because I'mdoing all types of video
conferencing throughout the day,so I need really good Wi-Fi.
Speaker 1 (57:35):
Have you been to Angeles I?
Speaker 3 (57:37):
went to Angeles for a week.
Speaker 1 (57:38):
Cheat.
Was it cheat?
Has everyone said this?
Speaker 3 (57:42):
So it is very much like a very, very, very poor
man's walking street bataya.
Okay, with random bars outsideof the walking street.
Yeah, um, but like, if you'regoing there expecting bataya,
that's your own fault.
Uh, I, I did, I do my researchand I talk to people and they're
(58:03):
like, um, uh.
But there are people who thinklike they're going there and
they're like, oh, it's bataya,it's bataya, it is not Pattaya.
It is not Pattaya.
It is much smaller, it's alittle bit more expensive but,
like I said, I had fun.
What I would do is I would justmeet a couple guys.
We'd go to a club, buy a bottle, hang out, talk to girls and go
(58:29):
to some other bars, talk tosome trans women.
Yeah, it depends on what youwant out of it.
Like our friend Michelle,michelle did not like it at all.
Oh, you mean we do that?
No, he went with another friend, oh, so he said he didn't like
it at all.
They were supposed to spend afew days, but he only spent like
one or two and then went backto Manila because he didn't like
(58:51):
it at all, but because, yeah,it is very much a, like I said,
it's a poor man, very, very,very, very, very poor man's
Papilla that is, can be rifewith some shady areas, but you
can find cities similar toPattaya in Thailand.
Speaker 1 (59:14):
Actually, right, you don't have to go outside of
Thailand.
If you get sick of Pattaya, youcan go to other cities here and
find similar.
Speaker 3 (59:23):
I recommend Waheen for people who want a quieter
Pattaya without really the clublife, but still a very fun place
that's very cheap.
Speaker 2 (59:36):
You want to go there?
Yeah, I'd never be there.
Speaker 3 (59:39):
You should.
Very good beaches, not a lot ofpeople.
If you go as any guy under 50,you'll be like the belt of the
ball, okay.
Speaker 1 (59:52):
So a lot of competition.
Speaker 3 (59:54):
It's like 90% guys over 50.
But yeah, it's a lot of fun.
The beaches are great.
Usually, literally what you dois you go to the different
walking not walking streets, butyou go to different bar streets
.
Then you go to the one or twolate night clubs that are open
to one or two and then you justgo drink on the beach.
So you just find a girl, youtake her to the beach and you go
(01:00:17):
drink on the beach untilsunrise.
Sounds like fun.
It's great.
I love Wahine.
For those who haven't been, Iwould recommend Wahine.
Speaker 4 (01:00:24):
Great.
Speaker 1 (01:00:27):
Well, greg, we came to the one hour mark, so that's
it for this podcast.
Yeah, I want to thank you forjoining us yeah, thanks for
having me.
Speaker 3 (01:00:37):
We might do another podcast together.
Speaker 1 (01:00:40):
Sometimes, people always want seconds.
Yeah, I want to thank ourlisteners.
You can always message usthrough our email, which is
mytaiwifepod at gmailcom, andyou can send us actually direct
messages through Spotify.
Right now, it's a new featureover there.
Pim anything you want to say.
Speaker 2 (01:01:02):
Yeah, thank you so much, listeners.
Thank you for listening.
Speaker 1 (01:01:06):
We have more than one .
Speaker 2 (01:01:08):
We're listeners and thank you, it's my grandma.
Thank you, thank you for caseand say I'm for this time.
This is like my four, fourepisode, so thank you so much
(01:01:29):
for support us and I'm stillwaiting for your feedback, any
comments from you guys, and we'dlike to enjoy this episode.
Speaker 1 (01:01:47):
Thank you so much.
By the way, if someone wants tosupport us financially, go for
it.
We will do all the scammingthat's needed to get your money.
So, you can find our links, howyou can pay us.
Speaker 3 (01:01:58):
I knew they'd be asking for money eventually.
Speaker 1 (01:02:01):
How much do?
Speaker 3 (01:02:01):
you pay us, Greg.
I mean, it depends on thebedrooms right there.
Speaker 1 (01:02:07):
Greg, any closing words from you?
Speaker 3 (01:02:09):
No, I appreciate you having me on.
For those who love to travel,get out there.
Just make sure that you do yourresearch and don't act like
assholes when you come here.
It's becoming an epidemic.
Speaker 1 (01:02:24):
This can really be a whole episode talking about that
, because the things that wentin the last month in Thailand,
the things that foreigners do Berespectful- act like.
Because the things that went inthe last month in Thailand, the
things that foreigners do, yeah, Be respectful.
Speaker 3 (01:02:39):
Act like you're not better than everyone, because
everyone is dealing with theirown stuff and has to live their
own life.
So be respectful and toeveryone, locals and foreigners,
international, whoever you go,wherever you are.
Speaker 1 (01:02:53):
Yeah, just love each other.
Yes, love each other.
Yeah, love each other.
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (01:02:57):
Thank you very much.
Thank you very much.
See you next time.
Speaker 2 (01:02:59):
See you soon.
Bye-bye.
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