January 17, 2025 • 70 mins
Click here to text me your thoughts about the show!
How do you balance personal ambition against the backdrop of familial ties and cultural roots? Join us as Dhara Majmundar, a trailblazer in talent acquisition, takes us on her inspiring journey from the vibrant arts scene in India to a successful career in recruitment in Canada. Dhara's story is one of determination and adaptability, marked by her reflections on health-conscious living, the motivational power of "Chakde India," and a nostalgic connection to her Gujarati heritage.
In this episode, Dhara navigates the emotional landscapes of immigrant life, sharing poignant insights into the challenges of moving from India to North America. Her personal anecdotes reveal the emotional and financial hurdles she overcame, fueled by her family's dreams and her own aspirations. Dhara also offers a candid exploration of the contrasting mindsets between developed and developing countries, highlighting how embracing a progressive outlook can lead to personal and professional growth.
For those embarking on their own immigrant journey, Dhara provides invaluable strategies for success. From the importance of networking and securing internships to the nuances of Canadian culture, her story is a blueprint for navigating both the complexities of assimilation and the pursuit of permanent residency in Canada. Through humor and heartfelt stories, we celebrate the multicultural essence of Canada, the joy of forming meaningful connections, and the wisdom gained from embracing both Eastern and Western perspectives.
Follow the host and the podcast on Social Media channels below:
- My Thick Accent on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/mythickaccent/
- My Thick Accent on Threads - https://www.threads.net/@mythickaccent?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
- MyThickAccent.com - https://www.mythickaccent.com/
- Gurasis's Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/iamgurasis/
- Gurasis's LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/iamgurasis/
__________________________________________
To contact Dhara:
Want to share your story? Or know someone I should invite next on the show? DM us or write to us at Hello@mythickaccent.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Gurasis (00:00):
So if you are a regular listener of My Thick Accent,
you know that we breakstereotypes here and celebrate
the diverse journeys ofimmigrants.
And today I'm excited tointroduce someone who is a
trailblazer in the world oftalent, accusation and career
development.
Despite her unconventional path, she has made a remarkable
impact, challenging perceptionsand embracing variety roles over
(00:23):
her decade-long career inCanada.
With two bachelor's degrees,one in performing arts and the
other in computer applications,she defied expectations to carve
out a successful career inrecruitment.
Join us as we explore herjourney from navigating life in
a new country to challengingstereotypes associated with her
appearance.
(00:43):
She will share insights onunderstanding personal value and
seizing opportunities, offeringinspiration to listeners
embarking on their own immigrantjourneys.
Get ready for an engagingconversation that celebrates
resilience, growth and thepursuit of passion.
Please welcome Dhara Majmundar.
Dhara (01:05):
Thank you, Gurasis.
Gurasis (01:05):
welcome dhara majmundar thank you, thank you.
Thank you, dhara, for joiningus today.
I think I am actually recording.
After almost five months, Ifeel like I'm doing it all over
again, so I'm really excited forthis uh conversation.
Dhara (01:17):
Yeah same here.
Gurasis (01:18):
I'm also quite excited to be here and thank you for
having me on your podcastabsolutely so that I know, on my
this season, season two, I'mtrying to turn up the fun factor
a little bit, so I'll start byasking you some fun questions,
okay?
So my first question is what'syour go-to breakfast?
Dhara (01:37):
wow um TEPLA okay I'm not sure if listeners are gujarati.
If you are aware, that's what Ilike to have in my breakfast.
I try to make sure that Iprepare the bloods beforehand
during the weekend so thatwhenever I'm working I have my
things ready.
Gurasis (01:55):
So it's like an everyday thing you do that.
Dhara (01:58):
As much as I can.
Gurasis (01:59):
yes, Okay, okay.
And I also read somewhere thatyou are 85% vegan and 15%
vegetarian.
Tell me the story behind that.
What's that?
Dhara (02:28):
become very conscious about diet and lifestyle and I
learned that lots of illnesscomes from wrong diet.
And since then I really wantedto become vegan.
I did adopt a lot of organicstuff, but I couldn't be
(02:53):
completely vegan.
During pandemic.
I actually got a chance to.
During the pandemic.
I actually got a chance toexperiment with various recipes.
I was.
I do go out, I do meet otherpeople, even company outings.
You know, I don't want tobecome a burden because I'm a
vegetarian and that's already aproblem for so many.
(03:15):
They have to change venues andmenus just to accommodate me.
So that's why I decided thatwhatever is under my control
which is almost 85% of diet, soI keep it vegan, but when I go
out I stay vegetarian.
So, um, I try not to troubleothers but try to pay my bit as
much as possible I love that.
Gurasis (03:36):
You know, I think I don't think you usually come
across these kind of vegans, youknow, who are again, like you,
have the 15 margin in theirdiets, because usually people
are extremely strict.
Right, I have to have a certainkind of milk, the organic stuff
, the vegan stuff, no cheese.
So I think I have had.
I think I had some friends likeback in the day when I was, uh,
(03:58):
you know, studying.
I think they guys were veryparticular and I remember
switching restaurants andswitching drinks and places.
I think sometimes I couldn'teven invite them to my house
because you know how the Indianfood sometimes does involve the
dairy products in it.
So, yeah, so I'm really gladthat you are not that particular
about things but stillobviously making sure that you
(04:18):
eat healthy and, you know, takecare of yourself.
So, yeah, that's amazing.
Yeah, all right.
So my second question is tellus about, like, a favorite song
or a dialogue or a movie thatyou really love, and tell us
like why it's significant to yousong.
Dhara (04:40):
I would say that's kind of my song.
I try to remember it whenever Ifeel low and whenever I want to
motivate myself.
In terms of movie, well, thereare quite a few, but I think
since I have seen Chakde Indiawith Charu Khan and Girls Team,
(05:05):
since that day it has become myone of the most favorite,
because I do carry the wholeemotions of all the girls that
were in the team, especiallyduring the scene when you know
all the girls get together, theybecome a team, finally become a
team, forget their owndifferences and then beat all
(05:25):
those guys.
Gurasis (05:26):
I wish I could do that in my real life yeah, no, it is
indeed an amazing movie and Ithink, I think most of the
indians do have that emotionattached to the movie and, uh,
yeah, it's an incredible movie.
You know you must watch it.
If you haven't, you you knowfor sure.
All right, so my next questionis that if you had to teach,
(05:46):
like one phrase or something inyour mother tongue to us, what
would it be and what does itmean?
Dhara (05:53):
Oh, that's a tough one.
In my mother tongue I would sayjawade.
Gurasis (06:00):
Jawade okay.
Dhara (06:01):
What does it mean?
Let it go, that's okay.
Okay okay so be it.
Gurasis (06:12):
So so be it I like that .
Dhara (06:13):
That's how you say it okay, yeah, interesting.
Gurasis (06:16):
And lastly, if you could teleport back to a
particular place from your homecountry or anywhere for a day,
what would it, what would you doand where would you go?
Dhara (06:26):
well, I will go to um.
It is in my home country whereum I born and brought.
I born uh in walsad, gujarat,which is my mother's um uh place
, where my mother's parents live, and during all my vacations we
used to go to walsad, andWalsad has a beach which is
(06:47):
called Tithal.
So much in my childhood, sowhenever I get a chance I'll
(07:22):
like to visit that place againwow, that's, that's, that's
beautiful, you know.
Gurasis (07:26):
And then again bringing in that manifestation, part of
it, and now you live next to awater body.
So that's amazing.
But speaking of you know yourtime in Gujarat, let me take you
back to the time you spentthere.
Tell us a little bit about yourformative years and how was it
like just growing up there?
Dhara (07:41):
Well, I must say that I've changed five to 10 schools.
Till I was in third, till I wasin fourth standard because my
parents had to move my father'sjobs.
My mother was working as welland most of the times I was I
was living with my grandparents.
So I was very close to mymother's parents and my father's
(08:04):
parents as well, actually tillI was three years old.
So when I was six or eightmonths old, my mother left me
with my grandmother and then shecame back to take me when I was
three years old.
I was not ready to evenrecognize her.
I didn't want to go with her,but yeah, I was very close to my
(08:25):
grandparents.
During vacations I used to goto Walsart a lot.
Mostly I after fourth standard.
I mostly born, I mostly broughtup in Baroda, so that was there
and it was a steady life.
My schooling, my university,everything was there.
And then I was working inAhmedabad, which was like a
nearby city from Baroda, forseven years.
(08:47):
So I was in the same vicinityas such.
But it was a hectic life.
It was a hectic childhood interms of.
My mother was very ambitiousabout me, so she used to push me
not only to study but to takepart in the extracurricular
activities.
So, um, I was always learningdance and taking part in the
(09:13):
debate competitions and dramacompetitions and studying and
exams.
So I used to be that child whowas kind of ahead in the game by
all means.
Very less friends, not muchoutgoing, but always living with
family, my cousins.
(09:33):
I had a younger brother, so Ikind of took care of him like a
child.
As I was mentioned to youearlier, I was five years old,
he was six months old, so I wasthe perfect elder sister for him
.
So my life was, quite lookingback, I think my life was quite
(09:54):
rich in the sense that we didn'thave a lot of money or we
didn't have a lot of resources,but we had a lot of people
around, surrounded by family,surrounded by elders, surrounded
by cousins Rich with love.
With love, right, yeah, soreally, we had very little,
maybe one toffee, and we used to, you know, share with brother
(10:18):
and sister, but it was so muchfun.
Today we have so much, but Isometimes feel that we don't
have to share those things withpeople around.
So, um, yeah, yeah, I think, Ithink I'm um blessed.
Gurasis (10:31):
I had a good childhood um a lot of learning, um a lot
of work and a lot of dreams togrow up and do something good
yeah, and you know you alsomentioned that, uh, changing
schools, like five to tenschools, I mean, I don't think
so.
I have changed so many.
I think I've changed maybe liketwo schools in my in my life
(10:53):
and I think I was able to likeat least uh, you know, have like
a bunch of friends whom I cancall like my school friends.
So did you have any that sortof situation where, or did you
like not have that situationbecause you were changing so
many schools and not havingenough friends because of that?
Dhara (11:13):
I didn't have many friends when I was living with
my parents' house.
I actually had friends near mygrandparents' house.
So I think that way I felt thestability because whenever I'm
going there I had my friendsintact.
But near when I was with myparents I never had many friends
(11:34):
.
I didn't go out much, always inhouse, always studying, always
with family.
Gurasis (11:39):
So it didn't actually occur to me as well, okay, and
what was like the family dynamic, right, you know, was the focus
more on like studies, get thejob, or was it like maybe more,
maybe your family was intobusiness?
How was that like?
Dhara (11:56):
yeah, study, work, get a job.
My, my, my mother was kind of astrict mother.
I always thought that you knowwhy I have such a strict mother.
Others' mothers are so lovingand caring.
But after I left my house andafter I started working on my
(12:17):
own, I realized that I'm able tomanage my life all by myself.
Just because I've been trainedso well, just because I was not
pampered.
I had to do my things.
I have to take care of my stuffon my own.
So definitely there was alwaysthe pressure of you have to do
good in whatever you do.
So I was doing diploma in dancethrough from the university
(12:40):
since I was in seventh standard.
I was studying and workingtogether, studying and learning
dance together since seventh.
So seventh, eighth, ninth,tenth, eleventh was my diploma
in dance, along with school,along with other activities, and
then even in the university Iwas doing two bachelors together
, one in computer, one in dance.
Gurasis (13:01):
So I kind of never left riding on both horses together
yeah, now you definitely awardlike a studious kid and I feel
like the studies was definitelythe focus of the family, because
you end up doing like twobachelors you know one in
performing arts, you know inclassical dance, right, and the
other one in computerapplication.
So tell me, like, why did youdecide to do like these two
(13:23):
different, even though I believeyou were inclined towards the
dancing before and then youchose the computer applications?
Why is that?
Dhara (13:31):
yeah.
So, um, the same thing.
Like I, I have been doing boththe things very passionately and
studiously, uh, since childhood.
So I was not clear what exactlyI want to do.
Um, I had a list what I don'twant to do, but I was not sure
what I actually want to do.
So that's why I really wantedto pursue both um, and then I
(13:56):
wanted to see how I want tonavigate my path and and uh.
But I really one thing was surethat I'll always keep both the
elements together.
It's just a matter of how Imanage them.
So maybe prioritize, how toprioritize them.
But I really didn't want tolose out on any one of them.
So that's why I studied andcomputers, I think when I was
(14:20):
12th pass out at that.
That time computer was a quitea boom and I was quite
fascinated about just hearing ofyou know what computer can do
and what programming can do andhow technologically things are
being advanced.
Um, and my dance teacheractually used to say that if you
want to progress, um, if youwant to see the progress in
(14:44):
dance, you have to progressyourself, because you are the
career of the dance.
Dance cannot progress on its ownIf you are not progressing
dance cannot progress, so youhave to be educated, you have to
be ahead in the game, you haveto have mindset.
Then only dance will grow.
So I really wanted to to pursuethat and I wanted to be the
(15:07):
right person who can practicethe dance properly I love that.
Gurasis (15:11):
I know what your teacher said, that you have to
grow within you know you have togrow within yourself for your
knowledge about the subject,rather than just the dance or
just the subject.
I think this can be implied toanything that one do Like.
If I take it in my case, Iwould say like my podcast cannot
grow unless I don't teachmyself how to grow it, you know.
(15:32):
So I think I really love that.
You know, I think definitelysomething a great takeaway you
know that listeners can takefrom it.
But I also want to, before I,you know, get into your
transition into Canada, tell mesomething about the city of
Baroda that people might notknow about.
Dhara (15:49):
Well, city of Baroda.
I also call it Sanskari Nagri,so I'm not sure if many people
know about it, but it's a verycultured city and I'm not sure,
if you're not Gujarati maybe youdon't understand, but people
who understand Gujarati language, they know that our language is
(16:10):
very pure, very bookish or verytechnically correct, whereas
you don't see the same purity ofthe language in other parts of
the gujarat.
So we are very cultured, verylearned.
You will see people verylearned and more progressive
than if you see people fromother parts of the of gujarat.
(16:34):
Um, amdabad is more like abusiness minded.
You'll see people who are morebusiness minded, but in baroda
you see people who are more umbelieve in education and believe
in more culture and value.
So I think I I like that aboutmy city and I really feel that
I'm I'm fortunate to be able to,to be able to grow up there.
Gurasis (16:58):
Very, very interesting.
I did not know that, so thankyou for sharing that with me.
So you know, you were alsotelling me, dara, that your
mother actually told you thatyou should leave India and
continue your life maybesomewhere abroad, and it was
also because your brother is inthe US.
But why did you think yourmother told you to do that?
Dhara (17:21):
So she was a very ambitious person and she
couldn't pursue a lot of herdreams, and one of her dreams
was to go abroad because herelder brother was there but for
whatever family reason shecouldn't do it.
So I think she really, uh,trained me in a way that she,
she, would see me doing thingsthat you couldn't do.
(17:42):
Um, I hated her for that,because I didn't want, because I
had my own ideologies.
You know, I never believe ingoing out.
I I used to feel that I'm, um,I'm being dishonest with my
country if I go out, because mycountry has contributed in me.
My country used resources, myteachers, it's my job to get
(18:07):
trained and now serve my countrywhen time comes.
How can I just leave?
How can I just go somewhereelse?
For me the whole idea wasdisaster, but I also didn't want
to disappoint my family and Ialso wanted to grow, I also
wanted to learn, and so I thinkmy mother won the battle, kind
(18:31):
of, and then I finally gotconvinced that, you know, if I
go out, I'll be able to progressmuch better.
And Canada somehow worked outsocially, economically, you know
.
Gurasis (18:46):
So how was the process for you?
Was it like lengthy?
Did it like happen quickly?
How was it like?
Dhara (18:54):
It was actually one or two years process, so one year
was kind of brainstorming toactually figure out, you know,
how we are going to pay the fees.
To tell you the truth, I'mcoming from middle class family.
We didn't have that kind offunding, but my brother was
there so he had some saving.
I had some saving and my fatherwas going to retire, so he
(19:16):
actually gave a big chunk of hisretirement fund to me.
And that's how we kind ofmanage and and, um, and then in
one year we had those thoughtprocess and the next year I
applied and I got the admission,um, and then, and then I came
here yeah, you know it know it'sfascinating.
Gurasis (19:38):
You know how people really put all their savings and
everything they can to sendpeople abroad, to send their
children abroad, and I thinkthis is something, this sort of
emotion, I feel like only usimmigrants can really understand
.
And even if you try to, youcan't articulate to the, to the
native people, and by by that Imeant, like in terms of getting
(20:01):
the jobs right, we don't get thedesired jobs, we don't get the
desired things you want to do,or how important it is for us to
have that certain opportunity.
Dhara (20:11):
I did go through that experience.
So before coming to Canada, I Iwent to US for six months and I
was working there as an officeassistant because I was studying
as well, and one of you wentfor your PhD right.
I went there for my PhD and oneof my colleagues or she was a
manager there.
(20:31):
She was born and brought up inthe US and one day she asked me
that why did you come to the US?
Gurasis (20:39):
Why did?
Dhara (20:39):
you have to go through all these troubles and struggles
and working so hard, I said atthat time.
I said, well, us is the land ofopportunity.
And she said but don't you thinkthat you have more
opportunities back home BecauseUS is an already developed
country, whereas you are adeveloping country?
(21:00):
So you have more opportunitiesback home because US is an
already developed country,whereas you are a developing
country, so you have moreopportunities and you can
contribute better in yourcountry.
At that time I didn't haveanswers, but I totally
understand how they think andfeel.
But I'm pretty sure if theywould have gone and brought up
in a third world country, theywould have done the same that we
have done because there aregood reasons.
(21:21):
Today I can convince somebodyif they ask me this question,
but I totally agree with youthat they don't get it because
they have not gone through thosestruggles.
Gurasis (21:32):
Yeah, but if you really have to answer this question
because sometimes this questionis thrown at me also that you
have, like this life in India,like I recently went to India,
also visited my family, you know, I did a wedding and they saw a
few pictures I said, oh, youhave such amazing family and
this and that that, why are youeven planning or why are you
even thinking of coming back toCanada?
(21:53):
You know, and I honestly couldnot have the best answer to that
.
But to Canada, you know, and II honestly could not have the
best answer to that.
But what I could say is I knowmy maybe my heart and my family
might be in India, but I knowthat my growth is in Canada.
I know that.
So that's why I know that myprofessional growth, my personal
growth, is in Canada and I can,I'd be able to do that only
through the resources thatCanada can provide me, not only
(22:15):
limited to Canada.
Maybe anywhere abroad canprovide me, any foreign country
can provide me, which I mightnot get in India.
But how would you answer that,dara?
Dhara (22:25):
Yeah.
So I've gone through a lot ofdebates with some of my friends
and internal dialogues, buttoday I've come to a conclusion
that it's all about mindset.
So it's not that India doesn'thave resources, it's not that
India doesn't have opportunities, but India doesn't have the
mindset a developed mindset thatNorth American countries have.
(22:49):
So, I think I have come here, orI think everybody who knowingly
or unknowingly come here,because they are seeking the
different mindset Somewherealong the line.
Our Indian mindset isconservative and is not allowing
us to progress fully, totally,completely, as a human being, as
(23:10):
a professional, as a societyperson that this country would
allow you.
So I think we have lots ofmental blocks, we have lots of
taboos.
We are quite developed in oneway, but we are still quite
underdeveloped in many otherways in terms of mental
development.
So many people still have themindset of 18th century.
(23:32):
I'm not saying that this is theideal North America is the ideal
world and we do not have thosesetbacks.
We do.
But the overall framework doessupport the advancement, the
progressive mindset, whereas oursociety doesn't much allow that
.
You have to be literally arebellion if you actually want
(23:53):
to do something going againstthe society, which is very easy
here because it's part of it.
So I think that's the reasonwhy we all get attracted and
then we all find out differentreasons, but I think that's the
core idea behind it.
Gurasis (24:10):
Absolutely, I totally agree with you.
But at the same time, I'll sayto each to their own.
You know, whatever works foryou, whatever country works for
you, whatever place, city, worksfor you, please go ahead and
continue with that.
Moving on to your journey, youknow, tell me about your first
day in Canada and I think youtold me you came in 2014, right,
(24:32):
but tell me about your firstday when you landed.
How was that like, or what werelike your initial thoughts or
emotions?
Dhara (24:38):
Yeah, well, I was excited and I was not afraid or worried
per se, because I already beento US once.
So I think that was the firsttime when I actually went out of
my country, and that time I wasquite afraid, I was worried, I
was very conscious, even on theairport.
I was so conscious that one ofthe security guards came and
(25:00):
asked me are you going for thefirst time?
I said yes, so I because I'venever been out of my home all by
myself, but coming to Canada itwas kind of second time.
I really planned a lot.
I was mentally prepared.
I already booked my rentalhouse here so I knew where I'm
going.
I checked internet, how much Ihave to pay to the taxi driver.
(25:22):
I knew it will take exactly 30minutes.
I knew which gate I'm going togo through.
So I was kind of very cautiousand, gratefully, everything
worked out as per the plan.
Everything worked out as perthe plan.
(25:43):
However, when I came here, itwas a compromise, because
everything in Canada was acompromise for me.
I wanted to do a PhD and nowI'm doing a PhD diploma.
I lived in a downtown area inPhiladelphia and now I'm living
in South Africa.
So for me it was all acompromise, but I wanted to be.
I wanted to remember that why Ihave come here.
(26:05):
But all in all, like I settledin half a day I already had all
the addresses where I will findhow to start my phone and how to
get the grocery.
So I came with all those listsand all those addresses.
I walked by and I did certainthings and by evening I was gone
(26:28):
.
I fell asleep and I don'tremember what happened to my
phone.
Gurasis (26:34):
Okay, and so your college started like immediately
, or was it like maybe some dayswere there in between?
I think after two weeks mycollege started okay, you had
two weeks, but that's, I think,enough time to adjust, get your
sin number, get acquainted withthe grocery stores and the
neighborhood, so that's enough.
Um, so, during your, uh,college time you know, I've been
(26:56):
even as a student you decidedto also get a cashier job.
You were telling me, right, andyou chose that job over the
call center job, which you alsogot, and you were telling me
that that's because you wantedto fight this inner dialogue of
loneliness and the conversationthat you would have with
yourself and the emotions thatare kind of like coming towards
(27:16):
you.
You, you're not in the beststate and that's why you chose
to do the, the cashier job.
And it was also, I believe youwere telling me, the opportunity
to get a bit of assimilatedwithin the Canadian culture,
right, and you also end up doingit for five years.
So so tell me you know themindset behind that and why that
job over the call center one?
And how was it that like foryou as a student in canada?
Dhara (27:40):
for sure.
So I'm I'm maybe kind of amethod person.
You know, I like to learn abouteverything before I actually
apply, so I didn't want to.
Uh, call center job was a wasan office job talking to people
over the phone.
Now, that is something I'vealready practiced back home.
Um, but working in a in a storewas I don't know why
(28:03):
fascinating to me, because I'venever, worked before.
I've never been a cashier, um.
So I really thought that thisis something new.
I can push my boundaries, I can, um, I can.
I can be a little moreuncomfortable doing it because
I've never been on that side.
Also, I wanted to learn aboutthe Canadian society from the
(28:24):
grassroots level, not whathappens in the offices under a
controlled environment.
I really wanted to learn howthese people are, how they think
, what they do, and especiallygrocery store like I.
I I started cooking here andthen half the items in a grocery
store.
I had no idea what it is.
How do you?
Gurasis (28:43):
just like all of us yeah it's such a mystery.
Dhara (28:47):
So I thought if I go work in a grocery store, I will
learn about all this item.
I will learn how people livehere, what they do.
And my store manager even toldme that you know, talk to people
.
So I thought that that'samazing, because that's exactly
what I want to do.
I want to talk to people, Iwant to improve my language, my
communication and understand thesociety.
(29:10):
So that's why I did that.
But you are right, the anotherreason was that to combat the
loneliness.
Again, I don't want to sit inan office cabinet talking to
people over the phone and maybesobbing behind the back.
So I really wanted to be infront of the people so that I
don't feel lonely, I don't feellike I'm here all by myself.
(29:33):
So that was kind of a cure forme to face the situation.
And along with that, yeah, allthose things came in.
I continued doing it for fiveyears because A, they always
provided me flexible hours so Icould manage the study and work
(29:56):
and whatever I wanted to do.
Second, it was a steady income,whatever I wanted to do.
Second, it was a steady income.
I wanted to pay back my studentloan, so I didn't want to lose
that I was working all sevendays a week and again, this
learning part, I was actuallyenjoying that.
I was actually talking topeople and being a recruiter.
(30:17):
I think it kind of worked outwith me being a cashier you talk
to people, you learn theculture and applying that on a
forefront, and at the same time,I was lonely and I didn't want
to stay home, not even for a day, not even during the weekend,
(30:44):
and I didn't know anybody to goout or have fun.
So I I, instead I choose towork so that I can, I can have
that change, I can earn money atthe same time.
Gurasis (30:49):
Um, I don't feel like I'm all by myself you know love
that I do want to like echo thisone thing you said about the
mindset initially.
You know where you said thatyou wanted to do this job
because it was somethingexciting, something new for you.
But you know, at the same timethere are people who will
actually see this as a downgradeand not really the the
(31:10):
opportunity to be able to learnsomething new.
So I love that and I reallyhope that people really instill
that you know in themselves thatnot seeing all these odd jobs
so to say that people call it asa downgrade, in fact all these
jobs really help you definitelyunderstand the other side of the
story and at the same time,instill that character in you.
(31:30):
It helps you build thatcharacter, you know, and uh.
But you also talked about thevariety of uh things that you
see in grocery shelves.
I kid or not, I think maybe itwas uh, almost like three years
ago I was in halifax, used towork in walmart and I was amazed
to see the variety of cheesethat exists in this world.
Oh my god, like I was.
(31:51):
I never heard about this.
She called like brie cheese,gouda cheese, I only know like
maybe cheddar or swiss, that'sall.
Maybe mozzarella, that's all.
There was a variety of cheeseyou come across and so many, in
fact, other items also, and alsothe fact that canada is such a
diverse place and you were ableto find those items and sauces
like from all around the world.
(32:12):
That's incredible.
So this also kind of like whenyou're talking about that, it
reminded me, you know, it tookme back to the time that I spent
, uh, in walmart and then,obviously, you know you
mentioned the loneliness part ofit.
It's something I thinkeverybody who comes alone, you
know, without their family, facethis and this, this job or any
such job which allows you to goout of your house and assimilate
(32:33):
within the culture and also,you know, find that some sort of
community that you can belongto, not limited to your own
communities, you know, not onlythe communities that you come
from, but just being able to,like, really understand other
side of the stories and gettinginto different atmosphere and
being part of differentecosystems.
That can really help you growwith this within this new
(32:53):
country, and also it helps tonavigate the life really easily
rather than doing it all aloneby yourself.
So, yeah, I love that.
Thank you for sharing all thesenuggets.
I love them.
Once you graduated you did, Ibelieve, like an eight-month
program and you were on a reallytime crunch, but you were able
(33:14):
to get your permanent residencyI would love for you to you know
, tell our listeners thepossibilities that are there and
also the the chronologicallythat what, what were you doing?
What time was that?
How much it took you, how didyou prepare yourself?
A little bit about that, if youcan tell us to the process of
getting that pr yeah for sure.
Dhara (33:33):
So when I came, I had only eight months student visa.
That that's all I had, right?
And as we all know, when youhave one year student visa, you
get one year work permit.
Now I had seven years of workexperience from back home.
I had two bachelors.
I had a master degree as well.
(33:53):
So in terms of getting PR, Iwas only lagging behind with one
year's work experience canadianwork experience so.
So that that was my kind of aim.
So, and it was tough becauseyou know, once you finish your,
your school, you cannot get thejob- uh, right immediately.
(34:14):
It takes some time, so I wasvery diligent in terms of
maintaining my timeline.
So the day I landed here, Istarted applying for internships
and I also started applying forpart-time jobs wherever it was
possible.
So it took me six months to gothrough a variety of interviews
for internship, for part-timejobs as well, and I wanted to
(34:38):
make sure that my internshipshould be done with my program.
Now my program was so condensedthat my other classmates in the
second semester they wereactually leaving their part-time
jobs just to fulfill thiscourse requirements because it
was so heavy, uh, whereas I wasthe one who took in the second
semester, who started apart-time job and who also
(35:00):
started an internship along withthe final semester and people
used to call me crazy, that youknow, we are not able to manage
one thing.
Gurasis (35:08):
That is intense.
Dhara (35:09):
Yeah, I have no choice, I have to do it so, but that was
important, that was necessary,and it didn't happen overnight.
I was working for it for sixmonths.
So I think so what I see herethat so many students they come,
they start, they try to findinternship or job after they
(35:30):
finish the program they shouldstart it the day they come here,
because it is going to takethem.
So I think that that's whathelped, worked in my favor.
And then I finished myinternship and my program
everything by April.
And then I had one month, may,I prepared for the IELTS exam.
(35:51):
June 15, I graduated officiallyand I got.
I appeared for IELTS exam aswell.
And then, after finishing oneinternship, I also landed the
another internship.
So I didn't just sit back andsay, okay, one internship is
over, I don't need to doanything anymore.
I really wanted to gain theCanadian experience and again, I
(36:11):
think that helped me as well.
So from June and July I hadanother internship, um, I was
working for ielts exam and I hadfinished my studies and I was
looking for a job as well.
So those two months, um, I didlots of interviews but I didn't
get any job um I got my uh workpermit.
(36:33):
I applied for work permit injune and then I got my work
permit by by, I guess insomewhere in aug, august.
And in that time August was thehigh time for me, because now I
got the work permit, clock isticking.
Gurasis (36:46):
I have to have a job, absolutely.
Dhara (36:48):
I have only one year and I need not one year work
experience.
So in the beginning of August,or during the same time actually
, I was really tired of applyingfor jobs and getting rejected.
I think what went wrong is thateverybody was telling me that
you will never get a job inToronto because you are an
(37:09):
international student, torontomarket is saturated and nobody
will hire you.
So you should apply to Albertaand Nova Scotia and God knows
where, maybe go to small centersand maybe they'll hire you.
So I was always applyingeverywhere else but Toronto or
but nearby my area and all I washearing is that we need local
(37:31):
experience.
Now I had experience.
I had two internships, but itwas not local to Alberta or
somewhere else.
So I was really tired and Isaid, if you all need local
experience, then my localexperience is here, my local
experience is from Toronto.
So one day I sit and I made alist of all the staffing
agencies in Toronto, near myarea especially, and I send a
(37:55):
cold email containing my resumeto all of them and I don't know,
maybe 150, 200.
I even don't remember the count.
But I really make sure that youknow I reach out to everyone and
regardless of their hiring ornot hiring.
I just sent out my resume andcovered later.
Gratefully, by end of August Igot one message and they said
(38:21):
that we would like to have acall with you.
So we had a chat and after 15minutes chat he said that would
you like to come for aninterview in two hours?
I'm like sure, and I run forthe interview in two hours and
he was literally checking howpassionate I really am, because
(38:43):
if you ask somebody to come foran interview in two hours, maybe
they would say oh no, I'm busy,I can't come.
They may not.
But I said yes and when I wentthere for the interview, I think
according to him, I answeredall his questions.
Whatever experience he waslooking for, I answered that it
was a very small company, but Idon't mind.
(39:06):
I didn't mind, I needed a workexperience.
So I got that job gratefully.
First he asked me to work thereonly for two weeks.
He said that you are aninternational student.
I don't know if you know how towork in Canada.
I'll hire you only for twoweeks and I'm not going to give
you any training because I don'tknow.
If you know how to work inCanada, I'll hire you only for
two weeks and I'm not going togive you any training because I
don't know.
People take my training andthen they don't work out.
(39:27):
So I'm tired of it.
So I'll hire you for two weeks.
If you can do some magic and ifyou prove yourself, I'll train
you and then I'll continue withyou.
Gurasis (39:39):
What was that position?
Dhara (39:41):
That was a recruiter's job in a staffing company yeah.
But it was a 360 desk becausethey didn't have many contracts
as well.
So I have to find employers whowould have job requirements,
and I also have to findcandidates to fill in those jobs
.
Yeah, and he was not evenlooking at me.
(40:03):
There was no other staffmembers in the company, but I
had a job coach.
I think she was very helpful.
She used to tell me what to do,how to do, and that way,
gratefully, in the very firstweek I got one client first
client.
They finalized the deal and,you know, second week, second
week, he said you are in, andrest is the history.
(40:24):
You know it was a very fullexperience.
So that that's how I got thisjob and I worked there for not
one year, um, and whatever moneyI earned, because I by that end
of one year I already had, uh,enough points to apply for PR,
considering my education, myexperience, my previous
(40:44):
experience in education.
But again, I had to stay inCanada because after one year my
work permit was over.
So I applied for another PGdiploma for one year and then,
during that time I applied formy PR.
It took me six months to gothrough that, to have my file
(41:09):
picked up in the express entry,and six months that my file got
processed.
And during that time I wasstudying, I was doing part-time
job, I was also doing 10 hoursat my full-time job.
Gratefully, they kind ofaccommodated me and, yeah, by
2017 May I got the PR approval.
By August 2017 I got my PR.
Gurasis (41:32):
Wow, what a journey.
You know, when you, when youtalked about like my work permit
was left for just one month,you know it gives me PTSD
because it happened with me alsoI was left with like just one
month of work permit.
It was just going and I somehowagain the magic happened and,
by God's grace, everythingworked out.
But literally, you know, dara,listening to you, I feel like I
could think of only three wordsfor your journey so far
(41:56):
Definitely like hardworking,persistent, you know
perseverance and willingness tomake it happen.
You had that willingness.
It knew that.
You know this is it.
You know do or die situation.
You are in it fully and notgiving up no matter what happens
.
You know and I and I love thatspirit, I really love that
(42:17):
spirit in you.
So kudosudos, you know, forthat.
Dhara (42:20):
Thank you so much, yeah.
Gurasis (42:23):
And obviously later after that, you got into this
another program and you werealso, I believe, volunteering at
a couple of places, and thisone place which really caught my
eye was Seven Cups.
Tell me, like, what is thatplace and what were you doing
there?
Dhara (42:41):
Yeah.
So I was working at Randstad atthat time and one of the
candidates that I wasinterviewing he did volunteering
with Seven Cups.
So I was curious and I askedhim what is it and what do you
do there?
And he told me that it's allabout helping people for with
their mental health.
Um, it's not talking to anybody, but it's like providing
(43:05):
support by chat, um, and you arebasically a listener.
So whenever somebody has amental health issue, you know.
When you are lonely and youhave nobody to go out and talk
to, you can go to seven cupwebsite.
You can have your own account,which could be anonymous.
A listener is also anonymous.
There are a ton of volunteersand they just have to be there
(43:27):
and listen.
And I thought that this isreally interesting A you are
helping somebody.
B you are not revealinganybody's identity, so you know
you are safe and secure that way.
And, most importantly, I had aselfish goal behind it, because
in my personality I feel that Italk a lot.
(43:47):
I really need to learn how tolisten more and I think this
would be a good opportunity justto listen and not judge anybody
and not give your opinion.
So that why I I joined thatprogram as a listener.
I volunteered there, there, um,for a few months, um, and they
(44:09):
do provide you training as well.
They do provide you feedback,um.
So I think it.
It's a good program and and Idid lots of different
volunteering work, but I thinkthat was one of the very
specific experience.
Gurasis (44:24):
Yeah, that's what caught my eye.
And is this something thatanybody can really go and join
them, or are there, like certainqualifications that one has to
have?
Dhara (44:33):
No qualification.
They'll provide you trainingsand guidelines, so you have to
follow their guidelines verystrictly.
I think they do keep a veryclose eye as to what you do,
because you know if you are alistener you cannot judge them.
But um, it's free for all.
Anybody can become a listenerand anybody can share their,
their stuff.
(44:54):
So literally no qualificationrequired love.
Gurasis (44:58):
That you know, and if any of our listeners is
interested, check them out.
You know why not.
So you are currently a seniorIT recruiter at Johnson Service
Group.
So you, as a recruiter, youknow who is doing headhunting,
talking to tons of internationalstudents.
You know employers as well.
(45:18):
What.
What are maybe the three things, or maybe as many, you want to
just share?
You know employers as well.
What are maybe the three things, or maybe as many, you want to
just share?
You know what are the threethings, or five things, you'd
like to share for the.
You know current graduates orsomebody who's just looking for
a job that they can do toactually get the opportunities
they need.
Dhara (45:35):
List could be more than three, but I think internship is
very important.
If it looked like you know, itgoes without saying, but I have,
unfortunately.
I have come across so manyinternational students who would
try to avoid internship.
They say that I don't have todo it because my program doesn't
require.
(45:55):
You should still do it, becausethat's the way you gain your
work experience if you don't doand then you say that, oh, they
require experience, or they needcanadian exposure, and I don't
have any, but you missed out onthat opportunity.
In fact, you should keep ondoing two, three, four
internships till you don't getthe full-time job.
So utilize that time.
(46:15):
So I think internship is soimportant that we we don't
understand the power of it, butthat's your avenue to get that
experience.
Um second is volunteer work.
Um, again, I have seen so manyinternational students and
immigrants saying that canada isnot my country, this is not my
(46:36):
society.
Why do I work for free for them?
You, you know, I have my ownproblem, my community is
different.
Okay, but now you're part ofthis country, now you're part of
this community.
We need to understand thatIndia has its own problems and
issues, canada has its ownproblems and issues, even if.
Canadian born and brought upsare not part of our community.
(46:59):
Now you are part of thatcommunity as well.
So unless and until you don'tunderstand them, how would you
gel with them?
How would you become a part ofthis country?
You cannot say that I'll stayaloof, I'll only work, I'll only
earn money and I'll only havegood parts of this society.
I will not even bother to learnor understand what's wrong here
.
I think that that whole mindsetneeds to be changed.
(47:22):
In fact, by doing volunteering,you are not obliging them, you
are obliging yourself.
Because, volunteering, you arelearning something new, you are
getting Canadian exposure, youget a chance to do the
networking and you never know,today you are volunteering
somewhere, tomorrow they mighthire you for something right,
(47:44):
you need references.
So volunteering, especially inthis country, is, is a way more
important than we think it wouldbe.
It's not just a free work forsome other community, it's
actually your own help, for yourown help and support.
And third is, I think,networking, um, which again
(48:05):
could be very scary in thebeginning.
Uh, right, uh, you don't knowwhat should I do in the
networking.
I so many candidates, uh,students, they ask me, but I'm
shy, you know, I don't knowanybody how to do networking.
Well, to tell you, tell you thetruth, I was the same.
I was new to the country.
I didn't even know theetiquettes, I couldn't even eat
(48:25):
with the fork and the kniferight, I didn't know how to do
networking.
My language was not that fluent.
But I think what I did was thatmy professor used to push us to
go to HRPA events because wewere studying HR management, so
they forced us to become part ofHR professional and then I used
(48:48):
to attend a lot of those events.
Initially, all I used to do isdress up well, professionally
and sit at a place wheresomebody is smiling at me and I
used to smile and I used to lookat everybody, just being
comfortable, not doing anydialogue or not trying to
participate into anything, justbeing there, just having that
(49:10):
proper attire, just feeling theambience and creating that
acquaintance with, with theenvironment.
I think that's what I did.
Initially.
I really didn't do much, but Ithink that means a lot because
when you go regularly, they willrecognize you and you recognize
them, and then the dialoguestarts and then you learn from
(49:34):
them and they learn from you,and then eventually I was
volunteering with HRPA.
So then you get highlighted andthen imagine 100 people are
attending an event, you are oneof the volunteers and they're
all HR and you are trying to geta job in the HR field.
So I think networking is soimportant and it shouldn't be
(49:55):
scary.
And it's not wastage of time.
It's not that networking means,oh, I have to go there.
You know you have to pay thefare, you have to spend time.
I didn't even have professionalattire at that time.
I remember I bought secondhandshoes from another shop just to
(50:15):
be there and be part of it.
But I think if you put in thateffort, it will pay you off.
That's how you build upconnection.
That's how you know how to putyourself out there.
And it is powerful.
You never know who is watchingyou.
So I think these three thingsare so important right from the
(50:36):
beginning.
You know, not after.
You are frustrated and you losetime.
And now, um, it's do or die.
Right from the beginning, startdoing all of that.
Gurasis (50:46):
Um, it's uncomfortable, but it's worth it yeah, and
listeners should keep in mindthis is coming from someone who
has close to 40 000 followers onlinkedin, so whatever she's
saying, it's working for her andit will work for you as well.
And yeah, so these are, I, Ithink, great, great points and
obviously I would like to likehighlight them three quickly.
Definitely, like you know, gofor those internships.
(51:07):
They're extremely important tobuild that Canadian experience,
so to say.
Definitely, volunteer, thathelps you build that character
and the network.
And third, obviously,networking.
You know network.
Go to those events and if youare on those events, like dhara
(51:28):
said, you know, dress well,smile and be like an observer
and a sponge and did it like,take everything in that you can.
You know the nuggets, thethings that people share.
You know, whatever the, thevalue that you can gain from
those connections, thosein-person interactions, just
take them all.
So love this, dhara, thank you.
Thank you so much for all this.
So, dhara, before we get intothe final segment, you know one
thing which, uh, uh, we askedyou.
(51:49):
You know which was like what aredhara, like some of your
challenges or what are thesomething that you discovered
about yourself when you saidthat one of the things that I
have experienced is that I don'tlook my age, and that is one of
the challenges, because peopleforget that, that, okay, I'm
Dara, like, I am like theLinkedIn top recruiter, right,
you, you can't just judge mejust because the way I look or I
(52:12):
have like a petite height, youknow, you can't just define me
on the basis of that.
That is something I'm extremelypassionate about, that, because
I wear a turban and I think Ihave been in certain rooms where
people have not taken meseriously just because I had an
accent.
You know, I still have anaccent and or I wear a turban,
right.
So I think now I have builtthis persona, or maybe like this
(52:34):
certain, you can say, like ahabit of not letting those
things in.
You know, I really haveblinders towards all these
comments and all these things,but I want you to tell us
because you have obviouslyevolved, still evolving to
become to the to that persondoesn't care anymore about all
these things.
But tell me what has yourjourney been like in that aspect
(52:56):
and what are you working on toreally, you know, come out of
that that imposter syndrome,shell, so to say?
Dhara (53:04):
yeah, that's very interesting and it's quite a
personal journey, but I'd liketo share um.
So I think I went throughdifferent stages in terms of
facing this dilemma.
So initially I used to feeldegraded and I used to feel that
I'm good for nothing and that'swhy, um, they're judging me, um
(53:27):
, but, but I can't just say thatI have to do something about it
.
Um.
So initially, used to make mefeel low and feel down, I used
to, um, I used to accept that,okay, I'm not that person that
you think, that I would like youto think I am.
That's okay.
Whatever you believe, I am that.
(53:47):
But then, that was not workingfor me.
After one stage I have to comeup.
I have to say that I have to.
If I'm shining, I'm shining.
What can I do If I'm hiring?
Gurasis (53:58):
I'm hiring.
Dhara (53:58):
If I'm able to do it, I'm able to do it.
What can I do If I'm hiring?
I'm hiring.
If I'm able to do it, I'm ableto do it.
Then I learned that I'm beingtoo much of a people pleaser.
I'm trying to make everybodyhappy and that's not going to
(54:18):
happen.
It's out of my control so Istopped doing it.
If somebody I started thinkingthat you know, now I want to
create reciprocal relations, ifyou are respectful with me, I'm
respectful with you.
If you don't want to talk to me,I don't want to talk to you.
I don't want to bother you.
I don't want to um make you tothink about something that you
even don't want to think aboutif you.
You think I'm this, maybe I'mthis.
(54:39):
If you think I'm that, thenmaybe I'm that.
If you think I'm that, thenmaybe I'm that.
If you and me we are matchingthe wavelength, then we'll talk
on a personal level, butotherwise I'll keep it
professional.
And what is professional isjust whatever we need to do.
We'll do it without any bias ormalice.
But if I know that you don'trespect me the way I like it to
be, then I will not go acrossthe professional line, I will
(55:02):
not go into the personal area.
So I think focusing on creatingreciprocal relationship that
kind of helped me a lot.
Then I came to a stage where Iused to get kind of angry.
For example, even at the CostcoI used to, when I buy a lot of
stuff, there was one cashier, ayoung guy.
(55:25):
He said oh so do you earnenough to spend this much money
all in one go?
No way, I'm like you are 16, 17year old cashier.
He thought maybe I'm an 11, 12standard.
I have had all those commentswhen I was working as a cashier.
Somebody said that you are 16years old and you can't lift up
(55:45):
this much weight.
I'm like I'm not.
I'm 32 right now, so that'sokay.
But I was like then I used tofeel angry, but then I realized
that you know what I'm puttingtoo much focus on myself.
Let me focus on them.
Why they're saying it?
Because for them it's a bigthing, right.
(56:06):
For me it's not.
This is my reality, but it'snot their reality yet.
So it's not my problem.
It's it's not their reality yet, so it's not my problem.
It's actually their problemthat they have not yet
understood what's going onaround them.
Yeah, um, I I started beingokay with that.
I started being thinking thatit's it's their perception, and
their perception is not shapingup my life and also, you can't
(56:27):
really justify everything youknow.
Gurasis (56:29):
You can't just give justifications to everybody you
know.
Let them be whatever you know.
Uh, they have their ownperceptions, they are the bubble
they are living in.
Dhara (56:38):
Sure, go ahead if that works for you yeah, exactly I, I
think um focusing on yourselfand and being more self-assured,
um, and that helps, because now, when, when it doesn't affect
you, then they see that maybeyou are a mature person.
Gurasis (56:54):
Right.
Dhara (56:55):
And that has been my journey.
I'm still fighting, I think Istill have to prove every time,
and it still takes time forcertain people to understand my
potential.
But I think it's all about me,it's all about my perception,
it's all about how I carrymyself and and it has nothing to
do with them People will change.
You need to know how to changethat.
Gurasis (57:18):
Absolutely, you know.
I think all this also to havethis dialogue with yourself, it
also stems from the point ofrecognizing that what you are
doing, you know, and what arethe trigger points, what are the
things that are actuallyimpacting you are doing, you
know, and what?
What are the trigger points,what are the things that are
actually impacting you oraffecting you, you know?
This also reminds me there'sanother conversation I had with
a friend regarding, you know,being niceness, the niceness
(57:41):
level, and we were saying that,you know, maybe earlier, when I
was younger at least, you know,I think, also stems from my
mother, because my mother islike that if somebody is like 10
, nice to me, I used to go likeabove and beyond, to the 90 and
be nice to them andunfortunately that hurts, you
know, that has hurt me invarious, uh, ways.
It has hurt me and because itwasn't reciprocated, the way I
(58:03):
was really putting into thatsort of relationship, right, and
I think then eventually now Ihave come at a point where I
gauge whether this personactually deserves the, the above
and beyond level, or maybe it'sjust 10%, just give them
another 10 and just that's all,case closed, you know.
So I think I am also on thatjourney right now and, since you
shared that and reminded me onuh, to share that with you, you
(58:26):
know, and with my listeners aswell, that's something that I
think, that's all something,that kind of journey I am going
through and I'm hoping to youknow, uh, really build those
boundaries wherever they arenecessary.
Yeah, yeah, 100 all right, thisis, uh, I've been such an
amazing topic, you know, and I Ithink I'm loving this
conversation so much, but Ithink I'll move on beyond that
(58:47):
and we'll get into the finalsegment.
But before that, dhara, youknow, I have included this
another segment in my season two, which is called Know your Host
, where I give my guests anopportunity to ask me any
questions they might have.
Dhara (59:01):
Oh my gosh, I'd like to know how much have you traveled
across Canada, outside Canada?
Gurasis (59:14):
That's a very interesting question.
Actually, I'll tell you, Ihaven't really traveled enough
up until my 22, 23 years, when Icame to Canada.
That was my first time evercoming to outside of my city.
And after coming to CanadaCanada, I would say I have lived
(59:35):
in various cities, like I'velived in Montreal, I've lived in
Halifax as well, and after thatI think I was so much, or I
would say like during my initialthree, four years, that I was
so much consumed by the wholeimmigration process and just
trying to make a living, youknow, and just living like
(59:55):
paycheck to paycheck and justsomehow being able to pay my
dues and being also able to feedmyself and trying to bring in
this fun whatever I can, whatwas in my capacity back then.
So first, three, four yearsliterally went by like that, and
after that, I would say it waslast year when, for the first
time, I was actually able totravel.
(01:00:18):
You can call it like a vacation.
I was actually able to travelthe cities which I always wanted
to visit, like I went to newyork for the first time last
year.
It was my first time and it wasmagical.
It was so, uh, overwhelmingalso, but but so beautiful also
to stand in that time square,which you have seen all your
(01:00:39):
life in movies, you know.
And then I also went to torontoand you'll say that toronto is
not that far.
You haven't been there,everything.
But literally I haven't.
I came in 2018.
I remember I had my cousin andhis wife, whom I visited back in
2018.
And I lived with them for likefour years.
But I kid you not, I have norecollection of those four days.
(01:01:02):
I literally don't, because Ifeel like I was still trying to
process that.
Have I really moved abroad?
Have I really come to Canada?
Am I not living in my houseanymore?
I was still trying to processand I think it was my second
week in Canada when I visited mycousin there.
(01:01:22):
So, yeah, I would say I haven'ttraveled a lot, but I aim to do
that a lot in the coming years.
But I'll tell you one more thingthat because since I've started
this podcast, which was in 2022September was my first episode
and I've been recording like anyear before that I would say
through this podcast and throughthese conversations, I have
(01:01:44):
traveled a lot, because thepeople I have spoken to they are
from around the world, you know.
They have told me about variouscities and various countries I
never even knew about.
For example, I spoke tosomebody from bulgaria.
You know somebody from czechrepublic, somebody from costa
rica, somebody who is currentlyin egypt.
You know somebody I'm going tospeak to somebody who is
(01:02:07):
currently living in brussels Ibelieve that's what the city is
called and I can't recall.
But yeah, being able to havethese conversations and learn
about those cities is incredible.
So, not physically, but I wouldsay through these conversations
I have traveled a lot.
Dhara (01:02:23):
Yeah, amazing, amazing yeah yeah, no great question.
Gurasis (01:02:28):
Thank you for asking that.
So now, dharav, you're in thefinal segment of the podcast.
I call it beneath the accent.
I'm going to ask a couple ofquestions.
You can answer them in one wordor a sentence, or however you
feel like.
The idea is just to know moreabout you, so ready yes so first
is, what advice would you giveto dhara at a younger age, and
(01:02:49):
at what age?
Dhara (01:02:50):
I would advise myself when I was 18 years old that do
not be afraid of toxic people.
Gurasis (01:02:59):
Okay, describe a moment when you experienced a
significant cultural differencethat surprised you in Canada.
Dhara (01:03:07):
There were many but one that when everybody used to ask
me in the beginning, are yougood?
I used to feel of course I'mgood.
Why do you think?
Gurasis (01:03:16):
okay, that's like the very uh initial instinct that
comes up.
You know, hey, how are you?
Are you good?
You're good like, like that.
I'd see that.
Okay, what's that one dishdhara from your home country
that always brings you comfortand nostalgia?
Dhara (01:03:33):
Oh, kichidi, that's my most favorite.
Gurasis (01:03:39):
Are there any funny stories related to your
misunderstanding around theaccent or the English that you
had?
Dhara (01:03:43):
Oh, yes, of course.
So on my first day at job, hrwas walking me through all the
rules and regulations and aftera while, while she take a pause
for a while and she said so arewe on the same page?
I said yes, of course we are onthe same page, page number
three.
Okay, he said that, oh, you'refunny.
(01:04:05):
I I couldn't understand whatwas so funny about it.
We were on page number threethat is so funny.
Gurasis (01:04:12):
Okay, I love that.
So what's your favoritecultural festival or celebration
in canada and how do youusually celebrate it?
Dhara (01:04:21):
oh, christmas, I love christmas.
I love the idea of um, santaclaus, uh, what I like about it?
I think, uh, you know, theyexchange cookies usually
homemade cookies, um, in myoffice, and I love those cookies
A, they're free, b they'redelicious, and C, I feel like
I'm very special that they'recooking something and then, you
(01:04:41):
know, they're gifting it to me.
So I love Christmas, I loveexchanging gifts, I even like to
give gifts as well, but I thinkChristmas cookies are my best
favorite.
Gurasis (01:04:52):
Okay, amazing and share like a quick tip for fellow
immigrants who are trying toadjust into a new country.
Dhara (01:05:00):
I would say explore and be ready to to push your
envelope and don't be afraid ofbeing uncomfortable.
Don't seek comfort all the time.
Try to do things that you havenot tried earlier.
That's the only way you canactually adjust and progress
okay, that's amazing.
Gurasis (01:05:19):
Yeah, tell us about the first friend that you made in
canada she's also my best friendin canada.
Dhara (01:05:26):
She's chinese and when I was studying I was crying in the
corner of a library.
Um, and she came to me and shestarted talking to me and ever
since she became my friend, soshe was my first friend, the
best friend ever and you guysare still in contact.
You guys meet often, love thatand uh share a moment where
(01:05:51):
being an immigrant made you feelexceptionally proud or
accomplished yeah, I think we weunderstand so many different
perceptions, uh, because weunderstand two different
societies, east and west polarapart, uh, and we have those
understandings and insights.
And I feel very fortunate to bethe immigrant because now I
(01:06:12):
know and understand both thepart of the world, whereas the
people who are, who have neverbeen to other part, either only
been in North America or been inIndia, I think they're missing
out on so many things just tounderstand the life, the
vastness of of it.
So I feel really proud andprivileged to be able to have
(01:06:35):
that understanding.
Gurasis (01:06:37):
That's a great answer.
Yeah, absolutely, I can relateto that Love, that If you had to
describe yourself, dara, as anycreature, what would it be and
why?
Dhara (01:06:46):
I think my spirit animal is a duck, the way you see the
duck being very calm andcomposed on the outside, but
it's actually working hard fromthe inside.
Gurasis (01:07:00):
so I think I I I resemble myself with that great
and what's something you ate forthe first time in canada I
think I had muffins okay yeah ifyou could have one superpower,
what would it be?
Dhara (01:07:17):
it's my childhood dream.
I like to be a fairy, I like tohave a magical wand, and I want
to fulfill everybody's wish.
Whatever anybody wants to do, Ijust do some magic and and they
get it.
Gurasis (01:07:30):
So that that's the power I want okay, if you had to
create this one law thateverybody has to follow, what
would it be?
You cannot lie you have tospeak the truth and finally, how
would you describe canada in aword or a sentence?
It's multicultural okay, andnadara, if you could leave, if
(01:07:54):
you had to leave at one advicefor me, what would it be?
Dhara (01:07:59):
reach out to more people.
I think more people needs toknow who you are and what you do
and what kind of person you areum, I don't know.
Expand your reach, because Ithink people need to know you
Even more people need to knowyou.
So do whatever you need to doto reach out to a larger
audience.
Gurasis (01:08:19):
Absolutely.
That's the aim, for sure.
Dhara (01:08:27):
And finally, Dara, how would you describe your
experience of being on thispodcast?
It's very motivational andfulfilling experience because um
I talked about certain parts ofmy life and the journey that I
never talked to anybody before,so I don't know it was.
There was something you knowabout it that made me talk about
(01:08:47):
it and again think about it.
So very grateful, very, um,very happy and fulfilled wow,
great, great words.
Gurasis (01:08:56):
You know I'm I'm overwhelmed to just listen to
what you just said and thank you.
Thank you so much, dhara, forfor your kind words, for being
on the podcast and adding valueto me and to my listeners, so
thank you so much my pleasure.
So if you are a regular listener of My Thick Accent,
you know that we breakstereotypes here and celebrate
the diverse journeys ofimmigrants.
And today I'm excited tointroduce someone who is a
trailblazer in the world oftalent, accusation and career
development.
Despite her unconventional path, she has made a remarkable
impact, challenging perceptionsand embracing variety roles over
(00:23):
her decade-long career inCanada.
With two bachelor's degrees,one in performing arts and the
other in computer applications,she defied expectations to carve
out a successful career inrecruitment.
Join us as we explore herjourney from navigating life in
a new country to challengingstereotypes associated with her
appearance.
(00:43):
She will share insights onunderstanding personal value and
seizing opportunities, offeringinspiration to listeners
embarking on their own immigrantjourneys.
Get ready for an engagingconversation that celebrates
resilience, growth and thepursuit of passion.
Please welcome Dhara Majmundar.
Dhara (01:05):
Thank you, Gurasis.
Gurasis (01:05):
welcome dhara majmundar thank you, thank you.
Thank you, dhara, for joiningus today.
I think I am actually recording.
After almost five months, Ifeel like I'm doing it all over
again, so I'm really excited forthis uh conversation.
Dhara (01:17):
Yeah same here.
Gurasis (01:18):
I'm also quite excited to be here and thank you for
having me on your podcastabsolutely so that I know, on my
this season, season two, I'mtrying to turn up the fun factor
a little bit, so I'll start byasking you some fun questions,
okay?
So my first question is what'syour go-to breakfast?
Dhara (01:37):
wow um TEPLA okay I'm not sure if listeners are gujarati.
If you are aware, that's what Ilike to have in my breakfast.
I try to make sure that Iprepare the bloods beforehand
during the weekend so thatwhenever I'm working I have my
things ready.
Gurasis (01:55):
So it's like an everyday thing you do that.
Dhara (01:58):
As much as I can.
Gurasis (01:59):
yes, Okay, okay.
And I also read somewhere thatyou are 85% vegan and 15%
vegetarian.
Tell me the story behind that.
What's that?
Dhara (02:28):
become very conscious about diet and lifestyle and I
learned that lots of illnesscomes from wrong diet.
And since then I really wantedto become vegan.
I did adopt a lot of organicstuff, but I couldn't be
(02:53):
completely vegan.
During pandemic.
I actually got a chance to.
During the pandemic.
I actually got a chance toexperiment with various recipes.
I was.
I do go out, I do meet otherpeople, even company outings.
You know, I don't want tobecome a burden because I'm a
vegetarian and that's already aproblem for so many.
(03:15):
They have to change venues andmenus just to accommodate me.
So that's why I decided thatwhatever is under my control
which is almost 85% of diet, soI keep it vegan, but when I go
out I stay vegetarian.
So, um, I try not to troubleothers but try to pay my bit as
much as possible I love that.
Gurasis (03:36):
You know, I think I don't think you usually come
across these kind of vegans, youknow, who are again, like you,
have the 15 margin in theirdiets, because usually people
are extremely strict.
Right, I have to have a certainkind of milk, the organic stuff
, the vegan stuff, no cheese.
So I think I have had.
I think I had some friends likeback in the day when I was, uh,
(03:58):
you know, studying.
I think they guys were veryparticular and I remember
switching restaurants andswitching drinks and places.
I think sometimes I couldn'teven invite them to my house
because you know how the Indianfood sometimes does involve the
dairy products in it.
So, yeah, so I'm really gladthat you are not that particular
about things but stillobviously making sure that you
(04:18):
eat healthy and, you know, takecare of yourself.
So, yeah, that's amazing.
Yeah, all right.
So my second question is tellus about, like, a favorite song
or a dialogue or a movie thatyou really love, and tell us
like why it's significant to yousong.
Dhara (04:40):
I would say that's kind of my song.
I try to remember it whenever Ifeel low and whenever I want to
motivate myself.
In terms of movie, well, thereare quite a few, but I think
since I have seen Chakde Indiawith Charu Khan and Girls Team,
(05:05):
since that day it has become myone of the most favorite,
because I do carry the wholeemotions of all the girls that
were in the team, especiallyduring the scene when you know
all the girls get together, theybecome a team, finally become a
team, forget their owndifferences and then beat all
(05:25):
those guys.
Gurasis (05:26):
I wish I could do that in my real life yeah, no, it is
indeed an amazing movie and Ithink, I think most of the
indians do have that emotionattached to the movie and, uh,
yeah, it's an incredible movie.
You know you must watch it.
If you haven't, you you knowfor sure.
All right, so my next questionis that if you had to teach,
(05:46):
like one phrase or something inyour mother tongue to us, what
would it be and what does itmean?
Dhara (05:53):
Oh, that's a tough one.
In my mother tongue I would sayjawade.
Gurasis (06:00):
Jawade okay.
Dhara (06:01):
What does it mean?
Let it go, that's okay.
Okay okay so be it.
Gurasis (06:12):
So so be it I like that .
Dhara (06:13):
That's how you say it okay, yeah, interesting.
Gurasis (06:16):
And lastly, if you could teleport back to a
particular place from your homecountry or anywhere for a day,
what would it, what would you doand where would you go?
Dhara (06:26):
well, I will go to um.
It is in my home country whereum I born and brought.
I born uh in walsad, gujarat,which is my mother's um uh place
, where my mother's parents live, and during all my vacations we
used to go to walsad, andWalsad has a beach which is
(06:47):
called Tithal.
So much in my childhood, sowhenever I get a chance I'll
(07:22):
like to visit that place againwow, that's, that's, that's
beautiful, you know.
Gurasis (07:26):
And then again bringing in that manifestation, part of
it, and now you live next to awater body.
So that's amazing.
But speaking of you know yourtime in Gujarat, let me take you
back to the time you spentthere.
Tell us a little bit about yourformative years and how was it
like just growing up there?
Dhara (07:41):
Well, I must say that I've changed five to 10 schools.
Till I was in third, till I wasin fourth standard because my
parents had to move my father'sjobs.
My mother was working as welland most of the times I was I
was living with my grandparents.
So I was very close to mymother's parents and my father's
(08:04):
parents as well, actually tillI was three years old.
So when I was six or eightmonths old, my mother left me
with my grandmother and then shecame back to take me when I was
three years old.
I was not ready to evenrecognize her.
I didn't want to go with her,but yeah, I was very close to my
(08:25):
grandparents.
During vacations I used to goto Walsart a lot.
Mostly I after fourth standard.
I mostly born, I mostly broughtup in Baroda, so that was there
and it was a steady life.
My schooling, my university,everything was there.
And then I was working inAhmedabad, which was like a
nearby city from Baroda, forseven years.
(08:47):
So I was in the same vicinityas such.
But it was a hectic life.
It was a hectic childhood interms of.
My mother was very ambitiousabout me, so she used to push me
not only to study but to takepart in the extracurricular
activities.
So, um, I was always learningdance and taking part in the
(09:13):
debate competitions and dramacompetitions and studying and
exams.
So I used to be that child whowas kind of ahead in the game by
all means.
Very less friends, not muchoutgoing, but always living with
family, my cousins.
(09:33):
I had a younger brother, so Ikind of took care of him like a
child.
As I was mentioned to youearlier, I was five years old,
he was six months old, so I wasthe perfect elder sister for him
.
So my life was, quite lookingback, I think my life was quite
(09:54):
rich in the sense that we didn'thave a lot of money or we
didn't have a lot of resources,but we had a lot of people
around, surrounded by family,surrounded by elders, surrounded
by cousins Rich with love.
With love, right, yeah, soreally, we had very little,
maybe one toffee, and we used to, you know, share with brother
(10:18):
and sister, but it was so muchfun.
Today we have so much, but Isometimes feel that we don't
have to share those things withpeople around.
So, um, yeah, yeah, I think, Ithink I'm um blessed.
Gurasis (10:31):
I had a good childhood um a lot of learning, um a lot
of work and a lot of dreams togrow up and do something good
yeah, and you know you alsomentioned that, uh, changing
schools, like five to tenschools, I mean, I don't think
so.
I have changed so many.
I think I've changed maybe liketwo schools in my in my life
(10:53):
and I think I was able to likeat least uh, you know, have like
a bunch of friends whom I cancall like my school friends.
So did you have any that sortof situation where, or did you
like not have that situationbecause you were changing so
many schools and not havingenough friends because of that?
Dhara (11:13):
I didn't have many friends when I was living with
my parents' house.
I actually had friends near mygrandparents' house.
So I think that way I felt thestability because whenever I'm
going there I had my friendsintact.
But near when I was with myparents I never had many friends
(11:34):
.
I didn't go out much, always inhouse, always studying, always
with family.
Gurasis (11:39):
So it didn't actually occur to me as well, okay, and
what was like the family dynamic, right, you know, was the focus
more on like studies, get thejob, or was it like maybe more,
maybe your family was intobusiness?
How was that like?
Dhara (11:56):
yeah, study, work, get a job.
My, my, my mother was kind of astrict mother.
I always thought that you knowwhy I have such a strict mother.
Others' mothers are so lovingand caring.
But after I left my house andafter I started working on my
(12:17):
own, I realized that I'm able tomanage my life all by myself.
Just because I've been trainedso well, just because I was not
pampered.
I had to do my things.
I have to take care of my stuffon my own.
So definitely there was alwaysthe pressure of you have to do
good in whatever you do.
So I was doing diploma in dancethrough from the university
(12:40):
since I was in seventh standard.
I was studying and workingtogether, studying and learning
dance together since seventh.
So seventh, eighth, ninth,tenth, eleventh was my diploma
in dance, along with school,along with other activities, and
then even in the university Iwas doing two bachelors together
, one in computer, one in dance.
Gurasis (13:01):
So I kind of never left riding on both horses together
yeah, now you definitely awardlike a studious kid and I feel
like the studies was definitelythe focus of the family, because
you end up doing like twobachelors you know one in
performing arts, you know inclassical dance, right, and the
other one in computerapplication.
So tell me, like, why did youdecide to do like these two
(13:23):
different, even though I believeyou were inclined towards the
dancing before and then youchose the computer applications?
Why is that?
Dhara (13:31):
yeah.
So, um, the same thing.
Like I, I have been doing boththe things very passionately and
studiously, uh, since childhood.
So I was not clear what exactlyI want to do.
Um, I had a list what I don'twant to do, but I was not sure
what I actually want to do.
So that's why I really wantedto pursue both um, and then I
(13:56):
wanted to see how I want tonavigate my path and and uh.
But I really one thing was surethat I'll always keep both the
elements together.
It's just a matter of how Imanage them.
So maybe prioritize, how toprioritize them.
But I really didn't want tolose out on any one of them.
So that's why I studied andcomputers, I think when I was
(14:20):
12th pass out at that.
That time computer was a quitea boom and I was quite
fascinated about just hearing ofyou know what computer can do
and what programming can do andhow technologically things are
being advanced.
Um, and my dance teacheractually used to say that if you
want to progress, um, if youwant to see the progress in
(14:44):
dance, you have to progressyourself, because you are the
career of the dance.
Dance cannot progress on its ownIf you are not progressing
dance cannot progress, so youhave to be educated, you have to
be ahead in the game, you haveto have mindset.
Then only dance will grow.
So I really wanted to to pursuethat and I wanted to be the
(15:07):
right person who can practicethe dance properly I love that.
Gurasis (15:11):
I know what your teacher said, that you have to
grow within you know you have togrow within yourself for your
knowledge about the subject,rather than just the dance or
just the subject.
I think this can be implied toanything that one do Like.
If I take it in my case, Iwould say like my podcast cannot
grow unless I don't teachmyself how to grow it, you know.
(15:32):
So I think I really love that.
You know, I think definitelysomething a great takeaway you
know that listeners can takefrom it.
But I also want to, before I,you know, get into your
transition into Canada, tell mesomething about the city of
Baroda that people might notknow about.
Dhara (15:49):
Well, city of Baroda.
I also call it Sanskari Nagri,so I'm not sure if many people
know about it, but it's a verycultured city and I'm not sure,
if you're not Gujarati maybe youdon't understand, but people
who understand Gujarati language, they know that our language is
(16:10):
very pure, very bookish or verytechnically correct, whereas
you don't see the same purity ofthe language in other parts of
the gujarat.
So we are very cultured, verylearned.
You will see people verylearned and more progressive
than if you see people fromother parts of the of gujarat.
(16:34):
Um, amdabad is more like abusiness minded.
You'll see people who are morebusiness minded, but in baroda
you see people who are more umbelieve in education and believe
in more culture and value.
So I think I I like that aboutmy city and I really feel that
I'm I'm fortunate to be able to,to be able to grow up there.
Gurasis (16:58):
Very, very interesting.
I did not know that, so thankyou for sharing that with me.
So you know, you were alsotelling me, dara, that your
mother actually told you thatyou should leave India and
continue your life maybesomewhere abroad, and it was
also because your brother is inthe US.
But why did you think yourmother told you to do that?
Dhara (17:21):
So she was a very ambitious person and she
couldn't pursue a lot of herdreams, and one of her dreams
was to go abroad because herelder brother was there but for
whatever family reason shecouldn't do it.
So I think she really, uh,trained me in a way that she,
she, would see me doing thingsthat you couldn't do.
(17:42):
Um, I hated her for that,because I didn't want, because I
had my own ideologies.
You know, I never believe ingoing out.
I I used to feel that I'm, um,I'm being dishonest with my
country if I go out, because mycountry has contributed in me.
My country used resources, myteachers, it's my job to get
(18:07):
trained and now serve my countrywhen time comes.
How can I just leave?
How can I just go somewhereelse?
For me the whole idea wasdisaster, but I also didn't want
to disappoint my family and Ialso wanted to grow, I also
wanted to learn, and so I thinkmy mother won the battle, kind
(18:31):
of, and then I finally gotconvinced that, you know, if I
go out, I'll be able to progressmuch better.
And Canada somehow worked outsocially, economically, you know
.
Gurasis (18:46):
So how was the process for you?
Was it like lengthy?
Did it like happen quickly?
How was it like?
Dhara (18:54):
It was actually one or two years process, so one year
was kind of brainstorming toactually figure out, you know,
how we are going to pay the fees.
To tell you the truth, I'mcoming from middle class family.
We didn't have that kind offunding, but my brother was
there so he had some saving.
I had some saving and my fatherwas going to retire, so he
(19:16):
actually gave a big chunk of hisretirement fund to me.
And that's how we kind ofmanage and and, um, and then in
one year we had those thoughtprocess and the next year I
applied and I got the admission,um, and then, and then I came
here yeah, you know it know it'sfascinating.
Gurasis (19:38):
You know how people really put all their savings and
everything they can to sendpeople abroad, to send their
children abroad, and I thinkthis is something, this sort of
emotion, I feel like only usimmigrants can really understand
.
And even if you try to, youcan't articulate to the, to the
native people, and by by that Imeant, like in terms of getting
(20:01):
the jobs right, we don't get thedesired jobs, we don't get the
desired things you want to do,or how important it is for us to
have that certain opportunity.
Dhara (20:11):
I did go through that experience.
So before coming to Canada, I Iwent to US for six months and I
was working there as an officeassistant because I was studying
as well, and one of you wentfor your PhD right.
I went there for my PhD and oneof my colleagues or she was a
manager there.
(20:31):
She was born and brought up inthe US and one day she asked me
that why did you come to the US?
Gurasis (20:39):
Why did?
Dhara (20:39):
you have to go through all these troubles and struggles
and working so hard, I said atthat time.
I said, well, us is the land ofopportunity.
And she said but don't you thinkthat you have more
opportunities back home BecauseUS is an already developed
country, whereas you are adeveloping country?
(21:00):
So you have more opportunitiesback home because US is an
already developed country,whereas you are a developing
country, so you have moreopportunities and you can
contribute better in yourcountry.
At that time I didn't haveanswers, but I totally
understand how they think andfeel.
But I'm pretty sure if theywould have gone and brought up
in a third world country, theywould have done the same that we
have done because there aregood reasons.
(21:21):
Today I can convince somebodyif they ask me this question,
but I totally agree with youthat they don't get it because
they have not gone through thosestruggles.
Gurasis (21:32):
Yeah, but if you really have to answer this question
because sometimes this questionis thrown at me also that you
have, like this life in India,like I recently went to India,
also visited my family, you know, I did a wedding and they saw a
few pictures I said, oh, youhave such amazing family and
this and that that, why are youeven planning or why are you
even thinking of coming back toCanada?
(21:53):
You know, and I honestly couldnot have the best answer to that
.
But to Canada, you know, and II honestly could not have the
best answer to that.
But what I could say is I knowmy maybe my heart and my family
might be in India, but I knowthat my growth is in Canada.
I know that.
So that's why I know that myprofessional growth, my personal
growth, is in Canada and I can,I'd be able to do that only
through the resources thatCanada can provide me, not only
(22:15):
limited to Canada.
Maybe anywhere abroad canprovide me, any foreign country
can provide me, which I mightnot get in India.
But how would you answer that,dara?
Dhara (22:25):
Yeah.
So I've gone through a lot ofdebates with some of my friends
and internal dialogues, buttoday I've come to a conclusion
that it's all about mindset.
So it's not that India doesn'thave resources, it's not that
India doesn't have opportunities, but India doesn't have the
mindset a developed mindset thatNorth American countries have.
(22:49):
So, I think I have come here, orI think everybody who knowingly
or unknowingly come here,because they are seeking the
different mindset Somewherealong the line.
Our Indian mindset isconservative and is not allowing
us to progress fully, totally,completely, as a human being, as
(23:10):
a professional, as a societyperson that this country would
allow you.
So I think we have lots ofmental blocks, we have lots of
taboos.
We are quite developed in oneway, but we are still quite
underdeveloped in many otherways in terms of mental
development.
So many people still have themindset of 18th century.
(23:32):
I'm not saying that this is theideal North America is the ideal
world and we do not have thosesetbacks.
We do.
But the overall framework doessupport the advancement, the
progressive mindset, whereas oursociety doesn't much allow that
.
You have to be literally arebellion if you actually want
(23:53):
to do something going againstthe society, which is very easy
here because it's part of it.
So I think that's the reasonwhy we all get attracted and
then we all find out differentreasons, but I think that's the
core idea behind it.
Gurasis (24:10):
Absolutely, I totally agree with you.
But at the same time, I'll sayto each to their own.
You know, whatever works foryou, whatever country works for
you, whatever place, city, worksfor you, please go ahead and
continue with that.
Moving on to your journey, youknow, tell me about your first
day in Canada and I think youtold me you came in 2014, right,
(24:32):
but tell me about your firstday when you landed.
How was that like, or what werelike your initial thoughts or
emotions?
Dhara (24:38):
Yeah, well, I was excited and I was not afraid or worried
per se, because I already beento US once.
So I think that was the firsttime when I actually went out of
my country, and that time I wasquite afraid, I was worried, I
was very conscious, even on theairport.
I was so conscious that one ofthe security guards came and
(25:00):
asked me are you going for thefirst time?
I said yes, so I because I'venever been out of my home all by
myself, but coming to Canada itwas kind of second time.
I really planned a lot.
I was mentally prepared.
I already booked my rentalhouse here so I knew where I'm
going.
I checked internet, how much Ihave to pay to the taxi driver.
(25:22):
I knew it will take exactly 30minutes.
I knew which gate I'm going togo through.
So I was kind of very cautiousand, gratefully, everything
worked out as per the plan.
Everything worked out as perthe plan.
(25:43):
However, when I came here, itwas a compromise, because
everything in Canada was acompromise for me.
I wanted to do a PhD and nowI'm doing a PhD diploma.
I lived in a downtown area inPhiladelphia and now I'm living
in South Africa.
So for me it was all acompromise, but I wanted to be.
I wanted to remember that why Ihave come here.
(26:05):
But all in all, like I settledin half a day I already had all
the addresses where I will findhow to start my phone and how to
get the grocery.
So I came with all those listsand all those addresses.
I walked by and I did certainthings and by evening I was gone
(26:28):
.
I fell asleep and I don'tremember what happened to my
phone.
Gurasis (26:34):
Okay, and so your college started like immediately
, or was it like maybe some dayswere there in between?
I think after two weeks mycollege started okay, you had
two weeks, but that's, I think,enough time to adjust, get your
sin number, get acquainted withthe grocery stores and the
neighborhood, so that's enough.
Um, so, during your, uh,college time you know, I've been
(26:56):
even as a student you decidedto also get a cashier job.
You were telling me, right, andyou chose that job over the
call center job, which you alsogot, and you were telling me
that that's because you wantedto fight this inner dialogue of
loneliness and the conversationthat you would have with
yourself and the emotions thatare kind of like coming towards
(27:16):
you.
You, you're not in the beststate and that's why you chose
to do the, the cashier job.
And it was also, I believe youwere telling me, the opportunity
to get a bit of assimilatedwithin the Canadian culture,
right, and you also end up doingit for five years.
So so tell me you know themindset behind that and why that
job over the call center one?
And how was it that like foryou as a student in canada?
Dhara (27:40):
for sure.
So I'm I'm maybe kind of amethod person.
You know, I like to learn abouteverything before I actually
apply, so I didn't want to.
Uh, call center job was a wasan office job talking to people
over the phone.
Now, that is something I'vealready practiced back home.
Um, but working in a in a storewas I don't know why
(28:03):
fascinating to me, because I'venever, worked before.
I've never been a cashier, um.
So I really thought that thisis something new.
I can push my boundaries, I can, um, I can.
I can be a little moreuncomfortable doing it because
I've never been on that side.
Also, I wanted to learn aboutthe Canadian society from the
(28:24):
grassroots level, not whathappens in the offices under a
controlled environment.
I really wanted to learn howthese people are, how they think
, what they do, and especiallygrocery store like I.
I I started cooking here andthen half the items in a grocery
store.
I had no idea what it is.
How do you?
Gurasis (28:43):
just like all of us yeah it's such a mystery.
Dhara (28:47):
So I thought if I go work in a grocery store, I will
learn about all this item.
I will learn how people livehere, what they do.
And my store manager even toldme that you know, talk to people
.
So I thought that that'samazing, because that's exactly
what I want to do.
I want to talk to people, Iwant to improve my language, my
communication and understand thesociety.
(29:10):
So that's why I did that.
But you are right, the anotherreason was that to combat the
loneliness.
Again, I don't want to sit inan office cabinet talking to
people over the phone and maybesobbing behind the back.
So I really wanted to be infront of the people so that I
don't feel lonely, I don't feellike I'm here all by myself.
(29:33):
So that was kind of a cure forme to face the situation.
And along with that, yeah, allthose things came in.
I continued doing it for fiveyears because A, they always
provided me flexible hours so Icould manage the study and work
(29:56):
and whatever I wanted to do.
Second, it was a steady income,whatever I wanted to do.
Second, it was a steady income.
I wanted to pay back my studentloan, so I didn't want to lose
that I was working all sevendays a week and again, this
learning part, I was actuallyenjoying that.
I was actually talking topeople and being a recruiter.
(30:17):
I think it kind of worked outwith me being a cashier you talk
to people, you learn theculture and applying that on a
forefront, and at the same time,I was lonely and I didn't want
to stay home, not even for a day, not even during the weekend,
(30:44):
and I didn't know anybody to goout or have fun.
So I I, instead I choose towork so that I can, I can have
that change, I can earn money atthe same time.
Gurasis (30:49):
Um, I don't feel like I'm all by myself you know love
that I do want to like echo thisone thing you said about the
mindset initially.
You know where you said thatyou wanted to do this job
because it was somethingexciting, something new for you.
But you know, at the same timethere are people who will
actually see this as a downgradeand not really the the
(31:10):
opportunity to be able to learnsomething new.
So I love that and I reallyhope that people really instill
that you know in themselves thatnot seeing all these odd jobs
so to say that people call it asa downgrade, in fact all these
jobs really help you definitelyunderstand the other side of the
story and at the same time,instill that character in you.
(31:30):
It helps you build thatcharacter, you know, and uh.
But you also talked about thevariety of uh things that you
see in grocery shelves.
I kid or not, I think maybe itwas uh, almost like three years
ago I was in halifax, used towork in walmart and I was amazed
to see the variety of cheesethat exists in this world.
Oh my god, like I was.
(31:51):
I never heard about this.
She called like brie cheese,gouda cheese, I only know like
maybe cheddar or swiss, that'sall.
Maybe mozzarella, that's all.
There was a variety of cheeseyou come across and so many, in
fact, other items also, and alsothe fact that canada is such a
diverse place and you were ableto find those items and sauces
like from all around the world.
(32:12):
That's incredible.
So this also kind of like whenyou're talking about that, it
reminded me, you know, it tookme back to the time that I spent
, uh, in walmart and then,obviously, you know you
mentioned the loneliness part ofit.
It's something I thinkeverybody who comes alone, you
know, without their family, facethis and this, this job or any
such job which allows you to goout of your house and assimilate
(32:33):
within the culture and also,you know, find that some sort of
community that you can belongto, not limited to your own
communities, you know, not onlythe communities that you come
from, but just being able to,like, really understand other
side of the stories and gettinginto different atmosphere and
being part of differentecosystems.
That can really help you growwith this within this new
(32:53):
country, and also it helps tonavigate the life really easily
rather than doing it all aloneby yourself.
So, yeah, I love that.
Thank you for sharing all thesenuggets.
I love them.
Once you graduated you did, Ibelieve, like an eight-month
program and you were on a reallytime crunch, but you were able
(33:14):
to get your permanent residencyI would love for you to you know
, tell our listeners thepossibilities that are there and
also the the chronologicallythat what, what were you doing?
What time was that?
How much it took you, how didyou prepare yourself?
A little bit about that, if youcan tell us to the process of
getting that pr yeah for sure.
Dhara (33:33):
So when I came, I had only eight months student visa.
That that's all I had, right?
And as we all know, when youhave one year student visa, you
get one year work permit.
Now I had seven years of workexperience from back home.
I had two bachelors.
I had a master degree as well.
(33:53):
So in terms of getting PR, Iwas only lagging behind with one
year's work experience canadianwork experience so.
So that that was my kind of aim.
So, and it was tough becauseyou know, once you finish your,
your school, you cannot get thejob- uh, right immediately.
(34:14):
It takes some time, so I wasvery diligent in terms of
maintaining my timeline.
So the day I landed here, Istarted applying for internships
and I also started applying forpart-time jobs wherever it was
possible.
So it took me six months to gothrough a variety of interviews
for internship, for part-timejobs as well, and I wanted to
(34:38):
make sure that my internshipshould be done with my program.
Now my program was so condensedthat my other classmates in the
second semester they wereactually leaving their part-time
jobs just to fulfill thiscourse requirements because it
was so heavy, uh, whereas I wasthe one who took in the second
semester, who started apart-time job and who also
(35:00):
started an internship along withthe final semester and people
used to call me crazy, that youknow, we are not able to manage
one thing.
Gurasis (35:08):
That is intense.
Dhara (35:09):
Yeah, I have no choice, I have to do it so, but that was
important, that was necessary,and it didn't happen overnight.
I was working for it for sixmonths.
So I think so what I see herethat so many students they come,
they start, they try to findinternship or job after they
(35:30):
finish the program they shouldstart it the day they come here,
because it is going to takethem.
So I think that that's whathelped, worked in my favor.
And then I finished myinternship and my program
everything by April.
And then I had one month, may,I prepared for the IELTS exam.
(35:51):
June 15, I graduated officiallyand I got.
I appeared for IELTS exam aswell.
And then, after finishing oneinternship, I also landed the
another internship.
So I didn't just sit back andsay, okay, one internship is
over, I don't need to doanything anymore.
I really wanted to gain theCanadian experience and again, I
(36:11):
think that helped me as well.
So from June and July I hadanother internship, um, I was
working for ielts exam and I hadfinished my studies and I was
looking for a job as well.
So those two months, um, I didlots of interviews but I didn't
get any job um I got my uh workpermit.
(36:33):
I applied for work permit injune and then I got my work
permit by by, I guess insomewhere in aug, august.
And in that time August was thehigh time for me, because now I
got the work permit, clock isticking.
Gurasis (36:46):
I have to have a job, absolutely.
Dhara (36:48):
I have only one year and I need not one year work
experience.
So in the beginning of August,or during the same time actually
, I was really tired of applyingfor jobs and getting rejected.
I think what went wrong is thateverybody was telling me that
you will never get a job inToronto because you are an
(37:09):
international student, torontomarket is saturated and nobody
will hire you.
So you should apply to Albertaand Nova Scotia and God knows
where, maybe go to small centersand maybe they'll hire you.
So I was always applyingeverywhere else but Toronto or
but nearby my area and all I washearing is that we need local
(37:31):
experience.
Now I had experience.
I had two internships, but itwas not local to Alberta or
somewhere else.
So I was really tired and Isaid, if you all need local
experience, then my localexperience is here, my local
experience is from Toronto.
So one day I sit and I made alist of all the staffing
agencies in Toronto, near myarea especially, and I send a
(37:55):
cold email containing my resumeto all of them and I don't know,
maybe 150, 200.
I even don't remember the count.
But I really make sure that youknow I reach out to everyone and
regardless of their hiring ornot hiring.
I just sent out my resume andcovered later.
Gratefully, by end of August Igot one message and they said
(38:21):
that we would like to have acall with you.
So we had a chat and after 15minutes chat he said that would
you like to come for aninterview in two hours?
I'm like sure, and I run forthe interview in two hours and
he was literally checking howpassionate I really am, because
(38:43):
if you ask somebody to come foran interview in two hours, maybe
they would say oh no, I'm busy,I can't come.
They may not.
But I said yes and when I wentthere for the interview, I think
according to him, I answeredall his questions.
Whatever experience he waslooking for, I answered that it
was a very small company, but Idon't mind.
(39:06):
I didn't mind, I needed a workexperience.
So I got that job gratefully.
First he asked me to work thereonly for two weeks.
He said that you are aninternational student.
I don't know if you know how towork in Canada.
I'll hire you only for twoweeks and I'm not going to give
you any training because I don'tknow.
If you know how to work inCanada, I'll hire you only for
two weeks and I'm not going togive you any training because I
don't know.
People take my training andthen they don't work out.
(39:27):
So I'm tired of it.
So I'll hire you for two weeks.
If you can do some magic and ifyou prove yourself, I'll train
you and then I'll continue withyou.
Gurasis (39:39):
What was that position?
Dhara (39:41):
That was a recruiter's job in a staffing company yeah.
But it was a 360 desk becausethey didn't have many contracts
as well.
So I have to find employers whowould have job requirements,
and I also have to findcandidates to fill in those jobs
.
Yeah, and he was not evenlooking at me.
(40:03):
There was no other staffmembers in the company, but I
had a job coach.
I think she was very helpful.
She used to tell me what to do,how to do, and that way,
gratefully, in the very firstweek I got one client first
client.
They finalized the deal and,you know, second week, second
week, he said you are in, andrest is the history.
(40:24):
You know it was a very fullexperience.
So that that's how I got thisjob and I worked there for not
one year, um, and whatever moneyI earned, because I by that end
of one year I already had, uh,enough points to apply for PR,
considering my education, myexperience, my previous
(40:44):
experience in education.
But again, I had to stay inCanada because after one year my
work permit was over.
So I applied for another PGdiploma for one year and then,
during that time I applied formy PR.
It took me six months to gothrough that, to have my file
(41:09):
picked up in the express entry,and six months that my file got
processed.
And during that time I wasstudying, I was doing part-time
job, I was also doing 10 hoursat my full-time job.
Gratefully, they kind ofaccommodated me and, yeah, by
2017 May I got the PR approval.
By August 2017 I got my PR.
Gurasis (41:32):
Wow, what a journey.
You know, when you, when youtalked about like my work permit
was left for just one month,you know it gives me PTSD
because it happened with me alsoI was left with like just one
month of work permit.
It was just going and I somehowagain the magic happened and,
by God's grace, everythingworked out.
But literally, you know, dara,listening to you, I feel like I
could think of only three wordsfor your journey so far
(41:56):
Definitely like hardworking,persistent, you know
perseverance and willingness tomake it happen.
You had that willingness.
It knew that.
You know this is it.
You know do or die situation.
You are in it fully and notgiving up no matter what happens
.
You know and I and I love thatspirit, I really love that
(42:17):
spirit in you.
So kudosudos, you know, forthat.
Dhara (42:20):
Thank you so much, yeah.
Gurasis (42:23):
And obviously later after that, you got into this
another program and you werealso, I believe, volunteering at
a couple of places, and thisone place which really caught my
eye was Seven Cups.
Tell me, like, what is thatplace and what were you doing
there?
Dhara (42:41):
Yeah.
So I was working at Randstad atthat time and one of the
candidates that I wasinterviewing he did volunteering
with Seven Cups.
So I was curious and I askedhim what is it and what do you
do there?
And he told me that it's allabout helping people for with
their mental health.
Um, it's not talking to anybody, but it's like providing
(43:05):
support by chat, um, and you arebasically a listener.
So whenever somebody has amental health issue, you know.
When you are lonely and youhave nobody to go out and talk
to, you can go to seven cupwebsite.
You can have your own account,which could be anonymous.
A listener is also anonymous.
There are a ton of volunteersand they just have to be there
(43:27):
and listen.
And I thought that this isreally interesting A you are
helping somebody.
B you are not revealinganybody's identity, so you know
you are safe and secure that way.
And, most importantly, I had aselfish goal behind it, because
in my personality I feel that Italk a lot.
(43:47):
I really need to learn how tolisten more and I think this
would be a good opportunity justto listen and not judge anybody
and not give your opinion.
So that why I I joined thatprogram as a listener.
I volunteered there, there, um,for a few months, um, and they
(44:09):
do provide you training as well.
They do provide you feedback,um.
So I think it.
It's a good program and and Idid lots of different
volunteering work, but I thinkthat was one of the very
specific experience.
Gurasis (44:24):
Yeah, that's what caught my eye.
And is this something thatanybody can really go and join
them, or are there, like certainqualifications that one has to
have?
Dhara (44:33):
No qualification.
They'll provide you trainingsand guidelines, so you have to
follow their guidelines verystrictly.
I think they do keep a veryclose eye as to what you do,
because you know if you are alistener you cannot judge them.
But um, it's free for all.
Anybody can become a listenerand anybody can share their,
their stuff.
(44:54):
So literally no qualificationrequired love.
Gurasis (44:58):
That you know, and if any of our listeners is
interested, check them out.
You know why not.
So you are currently a seniorIT recruiter at Johnson Service
Group.
So you, as a recruiter, youknow who is doing headhunting,
talking to tons of internationalstudents.
You know employers as well.
(45:18):
What.
What are maybe the three things, or maybe as many, you want to
just share?
You know employers as well.
What are maybe the three things, or maybe as many, you want to
just share?
You know what are the threethings, or five things, you'd
like to share for the.
You know current graduates orsomebody who's just looking for
a job that they can do toactually get the opportunities
they need.
Dhara (45:35):
List could be more than three, but I think internship is
very important.
If it looked like you know, itgoes without saying, but I have,
unfortunately.
I have come across so manyinternational students who would
try to avoid internship.
They say that I don't have todo it because my program doesn't
require.
(45:55):
You should still do it, becausethat's the way you gain your
work experience if you don't doand then you say that, oh, they
require experience, or they needcanadian exposure, and I don't
have any, but you missed out onthat opportunity.
In fact, you should keep ondoing two, three, four
internships till you don't getthe full-time job.
So utilize that time.
(46:15):
So I think internship is soimportant that we we don't
understand the power of it, butthat's your avenue to get that
experience.
Um second is volunteer work.
Um, again, I have seen so manyinternational students and
immigrants saying that canada isnot my country, this is not my
(46:36):
society.
Why do I work for free for them?
You, you know, I have my ownproblem, my community is
different.
Okay, but now you're part ofthis country, now you're part of
this community.
We need to understand thatIndia has its own problems and
issues, canada has its ownproblems and issues, even if.
Canadian born and brought upsare not part of our community.
(46:59):
Now you are part of thatcommunity as well.
So unless and until you don'tunderstand them, how would you
gel with them?
How would you become a part ofthis country?
You cannot say that I'll stayaloof, I'll only work, I'll only
earn money and I'll only havegood parts of this society.
I will not even bother to learnor understand what's wrong here
.
I think that that whole mindsetneeds to be changed.
(47:22):
In fact, by doing volunteering,you are not obliging them, you
are obliging yourself.
Because, volunteering, you arelearning something new, you are
getting Canadian exposure, youget a chance to do the
networking and you never know,today you are volunteering
somewhere, tomorrow they mighthire you for something right,
(47:44):
you need references.
So volunteering, especially inthis country, is, is a way more
important than we think it wouldbe.
It's not just a free work forsome other community, it's
actually your own help, for yourown help and support.
And third is, I think,networking, um, which again
(48:05):
could be very scary in thebeginning.
Uh, right, uh, you don't knowwhat should I do in the
networking.
I so many candidates, uh,students, they ask me, but I'm
shy, you know, I don't knowanybody how to do networking.
Well, to tell you, tell you thetruth, I was the same.
I was new to the country.
I didn't even know theetiquettes, I couldn't even eat
(48:25):
with the fork and the kniferight, I didn't know how to do
networking.
My language was not that fluent.
But I think what I did was thatmy professor used to push us to
go to HRPA events because wewere studying HR management, so
they forced us to become part ofHR professional and then I used
(48:48):
to attend a lot of those events.
Initially, all I used to do isdress up well, professionally
and sit at a place wheresomebody is smiling at me and I
used to smile and I used to lookat everybody, just being
comfortable, not doing anydialogue or not trying to
participate into anything, justbeing there, just having that
(49:10):
proper attire, just feeling theambience and creating that
acquaintance with, with theenvironment.
I think that's what I did.
Initially.
I really didn't do much, but Ithink that means a lot because
when you go regularly, they willrecognize you and you recognize
them, and then the dialoguestarts and then you learn from
(49:34):
them and they learn from you,and then eventually I was
volunteering with HRPA.
So then you get highlighted andthen imagine 100 people are
attending an event, you are oneof the volunteers and they're
all HR and you are trying to geta job in the HR field.
So I think networking is soimportant and it shouldn't be
(49:55):
scary.
And it's not wastage of time.
It's not that networking means,oh, I have to go there.
You know you have to pay thefare, you have to spend time.
I didn't even have professionalattire at that time.
I remember I bought secondhandshoes from another shop just to
(50:15):
be there and be part of it.
But I think if you put in thateffort, it will pay you off.
That's how you build upconnection.
That's how you know how to putyourself out there.
And it is powerful.
You never know who is watchingyou.
So I think these three thingsare so important right from the
(50:36):
beginning.
You know, not after.
You are frustrated and you losetime.
And now, um, it's do or die.
Right from the beginning, startdoing all of that.
Gurasis (50:46):
Um, it's uncomfortable, but it's worth it yeah, and
listeners should keep in mindthis is coming from someone who
has close to 40 000 followers onlinkedin, so whatever she's
saying, it's working for her andit will work for you as well.
And yeah, so these are, I, Ithink, great, great points and
obviously I would like to likehighlight them three quickly.
Definitely, like you know, gofor those internships.
(51:07):
They're extremely important tobuild that Canadian experience,
so to say.
Definitely, volunteer, thathelps you build that character
and the network.
And third, obviously,networking.
You know network.
Go to those events and if youare on those events, like dhara
(51:28):
said, you know, dress well,smile and be like an observer
and a sponge and did it like,take everything in that you can.
You know the nuggets, thethings that people share.
You know, whatever the, thevalue that you can gain from
those connections, thosein-person interactions, just
take them all.
So love this, dhara, thank you.
Thank you so much for all this.
So, dhara, before we get intothe final segment, you know one
thing which, uh, uh, we askedyou.
(51:49):
You know which was like what aredhara, like some of your
challenges or what are thesomething that you discovered
about yourself when you saidthat one of the things that I
have experienced is that I don'tlook my age, and that is one of
the challenges, because peopleforget that, that, okay, I'm
Dara, like, I am like theLinkedIn top recruiter, right,
you, you can't just judge mejust because the way I look or I
(52:12):
have like a petite height, youknow, you can't just define me
on the basis of that.
That is something I'm extremelypassionate about, that, because
I wear a turban and I think Ihave been in certain rooms where
people have not taken meseriously just because I had an
accent.
You know, I still have anaccent and or I wear a turban,
right.
So I think now I have builtthis persona, or maybe like this
(52:34):
certain, you can say, like ahabit of not letting those
things in.
You know, I really haveblinders towards all these
comments and all these things,but I want you to tell us
because you have obviouslyevolved, still evolving to
become to the to that persondoesn't care anymore about all
these things.
But tell me what has yourjourney been like in that aspect
(52:56):
and what are you working on toreally, you know, come out of
that that imposter syndrome,shell, so to say?
Dhara (53:04):
yeah, that's very interesting and it's quite a
personal journey, but I'd liketo share um.
So I think I went throughdifferent stages in terms of
facing this dilemma.
So initially I used to feeldegraded and I used to feel that
I'm good for nothing and that'swhy, um, they're judging me, um
(53:27):
, but, but I can't just say thatI have to do something about it
.
Um.
So initially, used to make mefeel low and feel down, I used
to, um, I used to accept that,okay, I'm not that person that
you think, that I would like youto think I am.
That's okay.
Whatever you believe, I am that.
(53:47):
But then, that was not workingfor me.
After one stage I have to comeup.
I have to say that I have to.
If I'm shining, I'm shining.
What can I do If I'm hiring?
Gurasis (53:58):
I'm hiring.
Dhara (53:58):
If I'm able to do it, I'm able to do it.
What can I do If I'm hiring?
I'm hiring.
If I'm able to do it, I'm ableto do it.
Then I learned that I'm beingtoo much of a people pleaser.
I'm trying to make everybodyhappy and that's not going to
(54:18):
happen.
It's out of my control so Istopped doing it.
If somebody I started thinkingthat you know, now I want to
create reciprocal relations, ifyou are respectful with me, I'm
respectful with you.
If you don't want to talk to me,I don't want to talk to you.
I don't want to bother you.
I don't want to um make you tothink about something that you
even don't want to think aboutif you.
You think I'm this, maybe I'mthis.
(54:39):
If you think I'm that, thenmaybe I'm that.
If you think I'm that, thenmaybe I'm that.
If you and me we are matchingthe wavelength, then we'll talk
on a personal level, butotherwise I'll keep it
professional.
And what is professional isjust whatever we need to do.
We'll do it without any bias ormalice.
But if I know that you don'trespect me the way I like it to
be, then I will not go acrossthe professional line, I will
(55:02):
not go into the personal area.
So I think focusing on creatingreciprocal relationship that
kind of helped me a lot.
Then I came to a stage where Iused to get kind of angry.
For example, even at the CostcoI used to, when I buy a lot of
stuff, there was one cashier, ayoung guy.
(55:25):
He said oh so do you earnenough to spend this much money
all in one go?
No way, I'm like you are 16, 17year old cashier.
He thought maybe I'm an 11, 12standard.
I have had all those commentswhen I was working as a cashier.
Somebody said that you are 16years old and you can't lift up
(55:45):
this much weight.
I'm like I'm not.
I'm 32 right now, so that'sokay.
But I was like then I used tofeel angry, but then I realized
that you know what I'm puttingtoo much focus on myself.
Let me focus on them.
Why they're saying it?
Because for them it's a bigthing, right.
(56:06):
For me it's not.
This is my reality, but it'snot their reality yet.
So it's not my problem.
It's it's not their reality yet, so it's not my problem.
It's actually their problemthat they have not yet
understood what's going onaround them.
Yeah, um, I I started beingokay with that.
I started being thinking thatit's it's their perception, and
their perception is not shapingup my life and also, you can't
(56:27):
really justify everything youknow.
Gurasis (56:29):
You can't just give justifications to everybody you
know.
Let them be whatever you know.
Uh, they have their ownperceptions, they are the bubble
they are living in.
Dhara (56:38):
Sure, go ahead if that works for you yeah, exactly I, I
think um focusing on yourselfand and being more self-assured,
um, and that helps, because now, when, when it doesn't affect
you, then they see that maybeyou are a mature person.
Gurasis (56:54):
Right.
Dhara (56:55):
And that has been my journey.
I'm still fighting, I think Istill have to prove every time,
and it still takes time forcertain people to understand my
potential.
But I think it's all about me,it's all about my perception,
it's all about how I carrymyself and and it has nothing to
do with them People will change.
You need to know how to changethat.
Gurasis (57:18):
Absolutely, you know.
I think all this also to havethis dialogue with yourself, it
also stems from the point ofrecognizing that what you are
doing, you know, and what arethe trigger points, what are the
things that are actuallyimpacting you are doing, you
know, and what?
What are the trigger points,what are the things that are
actually impacting you oraffecting you, you know?
This also reminds me there'sanother conversation I had with
a friend regarding, you know,being niceness, the niceness
(57:41):
level, and we were saying that,you know, maybe earlier, when I
was younger at least, you know,I think, also stems from my
mother, because my mother islike that if somebody is like 10
, nice to me, I used to go likeabove and beyond, to the 90 and
be nice to them andunfortunately that hurts, you
know, that has hurt me invarious, uh, ways.
It has hurt me and because itwasn't reciprocated, the way I
(58:03):
was really putting into thatsort of relationship, right, and
I think then eventually now Ihave come at a point where I
gauge whether this personactually deserves the, the above
and beyond level, or maybe it'sjust 10%, just give them
another 10 and just that's all,case closed, you know.
So I think I am also on thatjourney right now and, since you
shared that and reminded me onuh, to share that with you, you
(58:26):
know, and with my listeners aswell, that's something that I
think, that's all something,that kind of journey I am going
through and I'm hoping to youknow, uh, really build those
boundaries wherever they arenecessary.
Yeah, yeah, 100 all right, thisis, uh, I've been such an
amazing topic, you know, and I Ithink I'm loving this
conversation so much, but Ithink I'll move on beyond that
(58:47):
and we'll get into the finalsegment.
But before that, dhara, youknow, I have included this
another segment in my season two, which is called Know your Host
, where I give my guests anopportunity to ask me any
questions they might have.
Dhara (59:01):
Oh my gosh, I'd like to know how much have you traveled
across Canada, outside Canada?
Gurasis (59:14):
That's a very interesting question.
Actually, I'll tell you, Ihaven't really traveled enough
up until my 22, 23 years, when Icame to Canada.
That was my first time evercoming to outside of my city.
And after coming to CanadaCanada, I would say I have lived
(59:35):
in various cities, like I'velived in Montreal, I've lived in
Halifax as well, and after thatI think I was so much, or I
would say like during my initialthree, four years, that I was
so much consumed by the wholeimmigration process and just
trying to make a living, youknow, and just living like
(59:55):
paycheck to paycheck and justsomehow being able to pay my
dues and being also able to feedmyself and trying to bring in
this fun whatever I can, whatwas in my capacity back then.
So first, three, four yearsliterally went by like that, and
after that, I would say it waslast year when, for the first
time, I was actually able totravel.
(01:00:18):
You can call it like a vacation.
I was actually able to travelthe cities which I always wanted
to visit, like I went to newyork for the first time last
year.
It was my first time and it wasmagical.
It was so, uh, overwhelmingalso, but but so beautiful also
to stand in that time square,which you have seen all your
(01:00:39):
life in movies, you know.
And then I also went to torontoand you'll say that toronto is
not that far.
You haven't been there,everything.
But literally I haven't.
I came in 2018.
I remember I had my cousin andhis wife, whom I visited back in
2018.
And I lived with them for likefour years.
But I kid you not, I have norecollection of those four days.
(01:01:02):
I literally don't, because Ifeel like I was still trying to
process that.
Have I really moved abroad?
Have I really come to Canada?
Am I not living in my houseanymore?
I was still trying to processand I think it was my second
week in Canada when I visited mycousin there.
(01:01:22):
So, yeah, I would say I haven'ttraveled a lot, but I aim to do
that a lot in the coming years.
But I'll tell you one more thingthat because since I've started
this podcast, which was in 2022September was my first episode
and I've been recording like anyear before that I would say
through this podcast and throughthese conversations, I have
(01:01:44):
traveled a lot, because thepeople I have spoken to they are
from around the world, you know.
They have told me about variouscities and various countries I
never even knew about.
For example, I spoke tosomebody from bulgaria.
You know somebody from czechrepublic, somebody from costa
rica, somebody who is currentlyin egypt.
You know somebody I'm going tospeak to somebody who is
(01:02:07):
currently living in brussels Ibelieve that's what the city is
called and I can't recall.
But yeah, being able to havethese conversations and learn
about those cities is incredible.
So, not physically, but I wouldsay through these conversations
I have traveled a lot.
Dhara (01:02:23):
Yeah, amazing, amazing yeah yeah, no great question.
Gurasis (01:02:28):
Thank you for asking that.
So now, dharav, you're in thefinal segment of the podcast.
I call it beneath the accent.
I'm going to ask a couple ofquestions.
You can answer them in one wordor a sentence, or however you
feel like.
The idea is just to know moreabout you, so ready yes so first
is, what advice would you giveto dhara at a younger age, and
(01:02:49):
at what age?
Dhara (01:02:50):
I would advise myself when I was 18 years old that do
not be afraid of toxic people.
Gurasis (01:02:59):
Okay, describe a moment when you experienced a
significant cultural differencethat surprised you in Canada.
Dhara (01:03:07):
There were many but one that when everybody used to ask
me in the beginning, are yougood?
I used to feel of course I'mgood.
Why do you think?
Gurasis (01:03:16):
okay, that's like the very uh initial instinct that
comes up.
You know, hey, how are you?
Are you good?
You're good like, like that.
I'd see that.
Okay, what's that one dishdhara from your home country
that always brings you comfortand nostalgia?
Dhara (01:03:33):
Oh, kichidi, that's my most favorite.
Gurasis (01:03:39):
Are there any funny stories related to your
misunderstanding around theaccent or the English that you
had?
Dhara (01:03:43):
Oh, yes, of course.
So on my first day at job, hrwas walking me through all the
rules and regulations and aftera while, while she take a pause
for a while and she said so arewe on the same page?
I said yes, of course we are onthe same page, page number
three.
Okay, he said that, oh, you'refunny.
(01:04:05):
I I couldn't understand whatwas so funny about it.
We were on page number threethat is so funny.
Gurasis (01:04:12):
Okay, I love that.
So what's your favoritecultural festival or celebration
in canada and how do youusually celebrate it?
Dhara (01:04:21):
oh, christmas, I love christmas.
I love the idea of um, santaclaus, uh, what I like about it?
I think, uh, you know, theyexchange cookies usually
homemade cookies, um, in myoffice, and I love those cookies
A, they're free, b they'redelicious, and C, I feel like
I'm very special that they'recooking something and then, you
(01:04:41):
know, they're gifting it to me.
So I love Christmas, I loveexchanging gifts, I even like to
give gifts as well, but I thinkChristmas cookies are my best
favorite.
Gurasis (01:04:52):
Okay, amazing and share like a quick tip for fellow
immigrants who are trying toadjust into a new country.
Dhara (01:05:00):
I would say explore and be ready to to push your
envelope and don't be afraid ofbeing uncomfortable.
Don't seek comfort all the time.
Try to do things that you havenot tried earlier.
That's the only way you canactually adjust and progress
okay, that's amazing.
Gurasis (01:05:19):
Yeah, tell us about the first friend that you made in
canada she's also my best friendin canada.
Dhara (01:05:26):
She's chinese and when I was studying I was crying in the
corner of a library.
Um, and she came to me and shestarted talking to me and ever
since she became my friend, soshe was my first friend, the
best friend ever and you guysare still in contact.
You guys meet often, love thatand uh share a moment where
(01:05:51):
being an immigrant made you feelexceptionally proud or
accomplished yeah, I think we weunderstand so many different
perceptions, uh, because weunderstand two different
societies, east and west polarapart, uh, and we have those
understandings and insights.
And I feel very fortunate to bethe immigrant because now I
(01:06:12):
know and understand both thepart of the world, whereas the
people who are, who have neverbeen to other part, either only
been in North America or been inIndia, I think they're missing
out on so many things just tounderstand the life, the
vastness of of it.
So I feel really proud andprivileged to be able to have
(01:06:35):
that understanding.
Gurasis (01:06:37):
That's a great answer.
Yeah, absolutely, I can relateto that Love, that If you had to
describe yourself, dara, as anycreature, what would it be and
why?
Dhara (01:06:46):
I think my spirit animal is a duck, the way you see the
duck being very calm andcomposed on the outside, but
it's actually working hard fromthe inside.
Gurasis (01:07:00):
so I think I I I resemble myself with that great
and what's something you ate forthe first time in canada I
think I had muffins okay yeah ifyou could have one superpower,
what would it be?
Dhara (01:07:17):
it's my childhood dream.
I like to be a fairy, I like tohave a magical wand, and I want
to fulfill everybody's wish.
Whatever anybody wants to do, Ijust do some magic and and they
get it.
Gurasis (01:07:30):
So that that's the power I want okay, if you had to
create this one law thateverybody has to follow, what
would it be?
You cannot lie you have tospeak the truth and finally, how
would you describe canada in aword or a sentence?
It's multicultural okay, andnadara, if you could leave, if
(01:07:54):
you had to leave at one advicefor me, what would it be?
Dhara (01:07:59):
reach out to more people.
I think more people needs toknow who you are and what you do
and what kind of person you areum, I don't know.
Expand your reach, because Ithink people need to know you
Even more people need to knowyou.
So do whatever you need to doto reach out to a larger
audience.
Gurasis (01:08:19):
Absolutely.
That's the aim, for sure.
Dhara (01:08:27):
And finally, Dara, how would you describe your
experience of being on thispodcast?
It's very motivational andfulfilling experience because um
I talked about certain parts ofmy life and the journey that I
never talked to anybody before,so I don't know it was.
There was something you knowabout it that made me talk about
(01:08:47):
it and again think about it.
So very grateful, very, um,very happy and fulfilled wow,
great, great words.
Gurasis (01:08:56):
You know I'm I'm overwhelmed to just listen to
what you just said and thank you.
Thank you so much, dhara, forfor your kind words, for being
on the podcast and adding valueto me and to my listeners, so
thank you so much my pleasure.
Popular Podcasts
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Therapy Gecko
An unlicensed lizard psychologist travels the universe talking to strangers about absolutely nothing. TO CALL THE GECKO: follow me on https://www.twitch.tv/lyleforever to get a notification for when I am taking calls. I am usually live Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays but lately a lot of other times too. I am a gecko.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.