What Happens When Birthdays Become Checkpoints? | Happy Birthday Gurasis Singh (Host) 🎂

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What happens when birthdays transform from celebrations into anxiety-inducing checkpoints? That's the journey I explore in this deeply personal episode, recorded on my birthday, July 9th, 2025.

The stark contrast between last year's emotional heaviness and this year's sense of peace reveals a profound transformation. Last July found me questioning everything, feeling lonely, and seeing no reason to celebrate. Those feelings preceded months of health struggles and hospital visits that taught me not to take wellness for granted. Yet today, I wake with gratitude instead of focusing on what's missing. The energy feels completely different—I've learned that happiness isn't something external but something cultivated within.

This shift didn't happen overnight. It required unlearning harmful beliefs about success, timelines, and self-worth. I've discovered the liberation that comes with consistency rather than perfect timing, with trusting the process rather than demanding immediate results. Perhaps most importantly, I've learned to be kinder to myself—to celebrate progress rather than punishing myself for not reaching arbitrary milestones.

If you've ever felt the weight of expectations or wondered if you're falling behind in life, this episode offers both comfort and perspective. Through vulnerable reflection, I share the metaphor that best describes my current state: feeling the warmth of the sun after enduring a heavy snowstorm. Because ultimately, we are all exactly where we're supposed to be, even when it's messy or hard to see. Your timeline is yours alone—be patient with your becoming.

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Birthday 2023 Episode: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1835261/episodes/13186948

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Episode Transcript

Gurasis (00:00):
Hey everyone, welcome back to my Thick Accent.
I'm your host, guru Sees, andtoday is July 9th, 2025, and
it's my birthday.
So this has become an annualtradition for us and I'm so
grateful that you are here tocelebrate with me another year,
and today's episode is going tobe a little different from our

(00:21):
usual formats.
We are going to start with somebeautiful audio messages from
our family and friends, and thenI want to take you on a journey
through this past year,reflecting on where I was, where
I am now and where I am heading.
And I'll be honest with you,this year feels different.
There's something differentabout this year from previous

(00:42):
birthdays and I want to sharethat.
There's something differentabout this year from previous
birthdays and I want to sharethat transformation with you all
.
We will talk about the growth,about being kinder with
ourselves, and I hope by the endof this episode, you'll feel a
little more connected to yourown journey.
So let's just dive in.
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday, happy birthday.

(01:04):
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday, happy birthday,happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to you.
I know it's cringe, but yeah,happy birthday man.
Happy birthday sis.
Happy birthday gurushe.
God bless you.
Happy birthday, mamu.
Hope you have a wonderful day.
Happy birthday mamu.

(01:25):
Hope you have a wonderful day.
Happy birthday mamu.
Wow, you know, every year whenI receive these messages, I'm
I'm reminded of how blessed I am.
And these voices you know myfamily, my friends and my
beautiful nieces.
You know they.
They really are the soundtrackto my life and I want to take a
moment to acknowledge each oneof you who took the time to

(01:47):
record these messages.
You know, in our busy lives,you stopped, you thought of me,
you press record and you sharedyour love.
That means everything to me.
Thank you for being theconstants in my life and for
believing in me, even when Idon't believe in myself
sometimes.
You know, I was thinking aboutbirthdays and how I have

(02:09):
experienced them over the pastfew years and, honestly, I
haven't really celebrated mybirthday in many years maybe
three to four years now, and ifI reflect on those in 2022, I
had just moved back to Montrealfrom Halifax after getting a job
here.
A friend visited.
We celebrated very briefly.

(02:29):
That was a good time.
2023 I didn't do anything inparticular apart from going to
the Gurudwara, the Sikh temple,but the good thing was that in
that one year, I did visit NewYork for the first time, so I
think, which was nice.
But 2024, wow.
Last year wasn't really the besttime for me.

(02:51):
July was very, very heavy month.
I was emotional, I felt quitelonely and, honestly, I just
wasn't happy.
I didn't feel there is a reasonto celebrate.
You know and apart from goingto the temple Gurdwara that's
just the ritual I follow I tryto go to the Gurdwara every year

(03:12):
on my birthday.
For the past few years,birthdays have felt more like
checkpoints, you know, like okay, so what have you done so far?
You know, where are you in yourlife?
Have you made the money youwanted or are you at the right
place?
Done so far?
Where are you in your life?
Have you made the money youwanted or are you at the right
place in your career when you'regetting married, and 20 other
questions that you ask yourselfon your birthday.

(03:33):
It's exhausting, honestly.
But this year, this year, isdifferent.
But before we get into that, Iwant to reflect on my last year.
So if I could sit with theversion of myself from one year
ago today, that guy who wasstruggling, who felt lonely and
who was going through that heavyJuly, I think I would just want

(03:57):
to give a tight hug to him andI would probably tell him
something like this Listen, youare stronger than you're giving
yourself credit for.
You are wiser than you think.
Don't let everything happeningaround you disconnect you from
who you really are.
I know the next 10 months aregoing to feel like a test, but

(04:20):
they are actually preparing youfor something you'll be really
proud of.
And you know what I wish Icould have told that version of
me.
That was about the healthstruggles coming up, which will
last for months.
From october 2024 through april2025 is the time when I fell

(04:41):
sick with different things.
Back to back, those hospitalvisits wow.
But I'll tell my younger selfthat those hospital visits
aren't just setbacks.
They are actually going toteach you something valuable
about not taking your health forgranted.
And that loneliness that you'refeeling right now, that

(05:02):
emotional weight, it's notpunishment.
It's actually preparing you toappreciate what you will be a
year from now.
It's teaching you thathappiness isn't something you
find outside of yourself.
It's something you within.

(05:22):
Okay, so what's shifted thisyear?
The energy feels completelydifferent.
I wake up feeling more positive, more grateful.
Instead of focusing on what'smissing, I'm actually counting
my blessings.
I'm more focused on my goals,especially growing this podcast
and building somethingmeaningful.
I'm starting to recognize thesigns that things are aligning.

(05:44):
I'm staying positive, but notin that forced way where you are
scared to jinx it.
It's more like I am at peacewith the process.
I know that what's meant for mewill find its way to me, what's
meant to happen will happen,but I have to stay positive and
trust.
The journey Going to the gymhas been huge for this shift.

(06:06):
By the way, there's somethingabout the routine, that
discipline, that's been helpingme stay more grounded.
This version of me has learnedsomething that the last one
didn't you know, which is I amexactly where I'm supposed to be
.
I need to be patient.
I am becoming who I'm supposedto be.
I need to be patient.
I am becoming who I am meant tobe.

(06:28):
I've had to unlearn so much thisyear about success.
I used to think it was abouttiming and results, but now I
see it's about consistency.
Even when you don't feelmotivated.
About happiness, I learned Iwas chasing it in all the wrong
places when it was inside of me.
All along About timelines, Irealized I have no control over

(06:49):
them, and that's actuallyliberating.
I'm learning what it means tobe kinder with myself.
For so long, I would punishmyself for feeling happy about
small wins because I hadn'treached some arbitrary milestone
yet.
I would refuse to celebrateprogress, but now I'm allowing

(07:10):
myself to feel proud of thejourney, not just the
destination.
Okay, if I had to describe thisbirthday as a metaphor, it
would be like feeling the warmthof the sun after enduring a
heavy snowstorm.
That's exactly how it feelslike I have weathered something
and now I can feel the lightagain.

(07:40):
And now a message to future me,to July 9, 2026, Kurasis.
I will tell him why didn't youtell me Things are going to work
out so good?
But seriously, future me.
I hope you remember this moment.
I hope you remember the personwho was learning to be kinder
with himself.

(08:00):
I hope you remember the journey, not just the destination.
I want you to know that rightnow, on July 9, 2025, I believe
in our vision.
I know we will be successful.
I trust that our journey isunfolding exactly as it should
be.
There's something I'm finallyready to say out loud to the

(08:21):
world that I believe in myvision and I know I will be
successful.
Not because everything isperfect, but because I have
learned to trust the process Toeveryone listening to this.
I want you to know that we areall human.
We all have those heavy Julys.
We all have those moments wherebirthdays feel like

(08:44):
interrogations rather thancelebrations.
But here's what I have learnedyou are exactly where you are
supposed to be.
I know it's messy, heavy andhard to see, but you are exactly
where you're supposed to be.
Brick by brick, story by story,you will see.
You are exactly where you'resupposed to be.

(09:07):
Those lines hit differently nowthan when I wrote them.
These are actually part of mypoem which I'll share with you
guys.
And they hit different becauseI am living them now.
I am proof that the stormpasses.
I am proof that the sun comesout.
Stop justifying your choices topeople.
If you don't feel the energyyou don't want to do it, why

(09:30):
force it?
Just because of what willpeople say?
Your timeline is your timeline.
Your journey is your journey.
Be patient with yourself.
You are becoming, and thatbecoming it's beautiful, even
when it doesn't feel like it.
And you know what instantlytransports me to those childhood

(09:51):
birthdays?
It's the.
It's the smell of those burningnumbered wax candles, you know,
and the sound of people singingthe birthday song out of sync.
There is something so amazinglyimperfect about that, just like
life.
Thank you for being here withme today.
Thank you for allowing meallowing me see my accent slips

(10:15):
as well.
Thank you for allowing me toshare this space with you, for
letting me be vulnerable and forbeing part of this journey.
This is your host, gurisheesh,and this has been another
episode, amazing episode, of myEthic Accent.
Until next time, remember, youare exactly where you're
supposed to be.