August 11, 2025 • 47 mins
Ever felt like giving up on your business dreams? When the passion is there, but the setbacks feel heavier than expected?
In this episode, resilience coach Genevieve Skory joins us for an honest, energizing conversation about what it really takes to keep going, especially when things get hard. From mindset shifts to redefining failure and rest, Genevieve shares insights that challenge the usual hustle narrative and offer a more sustainable way forward.
Whether you're in the early stages or deep in the grind, this episode is a reminder that you’re not alone, and that resilience can be learned. Tune in for grounded wisdom, fresh perspective, and the encouragement you didn’t know you needed.
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Episode Transcript
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Janice Hostager (00:05):
I'm Janice Hostager.
After three decades in themarketing business and many
years of being an entrepreneur,I've learned a thing or two
about marketing.
Join me as we talk aboutmarketing, small business and
life in between.
Welcome to My Weekly Marketing.
Welcome back to My WeeklyMarketing.
(00:33):
I'm Janice Hostager, andalthough we talk a lot about
marketing on this podcast, wealso talk about stuff that
drives our business forward and,to be honest, sometimes it's
not another marketing strategythat we need, it's a little more
encouragement, or maybe alittle more truth, or maybe a
little mindset boost.
So today I'm joined by GenevieveSkory, a resilience coach who
specializes in helpingentrepreneurs like us navigate
(00:56):
the emotional highs and lows ofbuilding a business.
Because, let's face it, ifyou've been in business for even
a little while, you've probablyreached a day or two where
you've just felt overwhelmed anddefeated.
Right, you're not alone.
So if you've ever felt stuck orstalled or just plain exhausted
, trying to build momentum inyour business, this episode is
(01:17):
for you.
So here's my talk withGenevieve.
Hey, Genevieve, welcome to MyWeekly Marketing.
Genevieve Skory (01:23):
Hey, thanks for having me.
Janice Hostager (01:26):
So today we're talking about resilience.
So why do you think resilienceis such a critical skill for
entrepreneurs?
Genevieve Skory (01:33):
Oh, you know, because I will tell you.
Well, can I tell a story first?
I'll tell you, I'll tell youwhy.
Because it's it's grounded in myown experience, and that is
that you know every so I neverreally thought I would be an
entrepreneur.
Honestly, I kind of stumbledinto it based on a passion I had
, and what I very quicklyfigured out was that passion was
(01:59):
not enough to sustain thelearning curve required.
You know, as a marketing expert, right, your passion only gets
you like so far.
And once you get to like yourfirst big obstacle, you have to
make a mental, spiritual andlike intellectual decision to
(02:25):
either figure it out or turnback around.
And, and I, I actually rememberthinking but everybody needs
what I have.
You know everybody needs it.
I know for sure everybody needsit.
And, and and I will tell youwith every and I can go back to
like a sales job that I hadworking for a health club where
(02:50):
we were catering to overweightpeople.
So it was like the people thatwere coming into the gym really
needed what we had, right.
But the first minute you hit anobstacle where it's like whether
it's an objection, whether it's, I've been on social media.
Nobody seems to be payingattention, or it's been weeks
(03:13):
since I had a sale, or this isthe other one.
My friends and family didn'tquote unquote support me, which
I'm kind of like.
Well, they weren't really yourideal client to begin with.
So you know there's that, butnobody tells you.
There's a learning curve, notonly when you start, but with
(03:33):
every new stage of your business, and so if you don't have a
resilient plan like you don'thave a resilience map that you
can go back to and go I was toldthis would happen.
I'm going to go back, I'm goingto stay the course.
I'm going to figure things out.
You're super likely to thinkthis isn't for you and I'll tell
(03:56):
you, Janice, I justpassionately feel like there's
so many people out there with,honestly, really good ideas that
they need to like bring birththat thing, you know.
So I just 100% thought you knowwhat.
What needs to happen is peopleneed to be told in advance.
You're going to hit obstaclesat every stage of your business
(04:18):
and if you don't have a plan forhow to navigate that
emotionally, you're going toquit way too soon.
You're just going to quit waytoo soon.
Janice Hostager (04:27):
So this is so 100% true.
I always say thatentrepreneurship is more of a
head game than a skills game.
You know it kind of reminds meof when I was learning golf.
I would do really well when I'dbe like putting by myself or
driving by myself and I'd getout there in front of you know
my friends who were golfers andlike you know what do you call
(04:51):
it Divot every time.
You know it was just likebecause it was something about
it.
Like you, if you don'tanticipate that you're going to
stumble at a certain point, youknow you get into your head too
much, I think, and I totally seethat in business.
Genevieve Skory (05:09):
Yes, and people start with a product plan.
They start out with a productplan.
They also start off if they'relucky with a marketing plan,
which you know you're out theresinging the song all day every
day.
So you know kudos to you, right.
But nobody says you know whatyou also need.
(05:30):
You need a resilience mapbecause as you go along here,
you have to be bad in order toget good.
Like, nobody tells you thatbecause, especially if you're
looking on social media, youlike but look how successful
everybody is.
And I'm like but look at youknow you can't actually look at
(05:50):
all of the behind the scenes,trauma and learning and failing
that transfer, because everybodyjust wants to give you the
highlight reel.
This is my great business andlike, okay, but it wasn't always
great, was it it?
Just you know it wasn't.
Janice Hostager (06:09):
Yeah, yeah, a hundred percent, yeah.
That's why I wanted to have youon the podcast, because I
really want everybody to realizethis, that it's not about just
checking all the boxes and doingthe work.
It's like you have to be readyfor that self-doubt, that
imposter syndrome, the criticismthat can come on social media,
(06:32):
the failures I mean.
You do.
You have to know that they'reout there and I think that's why
.
So this is my third businesstechnically and my first one I
folded, like you know, justright away.
It was like I don't like this.
And then you know.
And then again you startthinking, okay, I've got to have
(06:55):
you know a little more, alittle tougher skin.
I can do this this time, andyou know.
But you do, you learn by doingit and you learn from your
failures, that's for sure.
So what is resilience mappingand like, how is it different
from like mindset work?
Genevieve Skory (07:14):
It incorporates a little bit of mindset work,
because your brain is the singledetermining factor of whether
you succeed or fail.
Like I really believe that 90%of your success is tied to your
brain, which, by the way, isdesigned to keep you very
(07:35):
comfortable.
It like, literally is designedto be like Janice, don't stay
where you are in your housedoing the things, because we
know that this will not kill us,so let's just stay here in
safety.
So the brain is actually wiredfor safety and not success.
(07:58):
So mindset does come into play,because part of your brain does
need to be rewired.
But resilience mapping is aboutstarting the conversation.
From where do we want to go?
Why do we want to get there?
Like, like the really deep,deep, why and you know I hate to
(08:23):
use the word why, because it'sbecome such an overused word,
but people use it very surface,level-ish.
It's kind of like well, I wantthis to work because and a lot
of times it has to do with you.
I want this to work because Idon't want to have to work in
corporate America.
I need this to work because youknow we need the extra income,
(08:46):
whatever it happens to be.
Maybe you do have a really bigmission.
It's like I need this to workbecause, like, the world needs
to have what I have.
But that is the fuel of thebusiness, which gets completely
disregarded in your day-to-dayactivity.
So resilience mapping is aboutsetting a really solid
(09:09):
foundation emotionally and, insome cases, spiritually.
I think that business is also aspiritual game in terms of,
like who you have to become.
But there's also this sense of,but there's also this sense of.
So I think of failure asunprocessed, unprocessed
feedback.
So when people fail, they verytypically will say I'm terrible
(09:35):
at this, and then they won'tactually look at the very piece
of feedback that will help themovercome whatever it is that
they're experiencing.
So it's like well, nobody seemsto want what I have.
I feel like a failure.
Your brain says great, let's goback to doing what we used to
(09:56):
do.
I told you this wasn't a goodidea, when what you need to do
is have systems in place thatare like okay, one, I know why
I'm doing this, so some realdeep work on this is why I'm
doing it.
Two, a strategy for how you'regoing to deal with failure, and
(10:17):
also because the other thingthat people don't do is they
really don't process theirfailure, and when you don't
process your failure, you don'tget that required feedback that
you need.
So we create a system forprocessing failure on a daily
basis, right so?
Yeah, right.
So you know, when you have abusiness, you look at numbers a
(10:37):
lot.
If you're smart, if you'resmart, you're looking at
business numbers a lot, but thisis like that soft measurement
that never gets done.
So what happens is you don'tactually record your successes
or your progress or yourlearning, because you didn't get
(10:59):
a sale, you didn't get anoutcome that you measured based
on a number.
So we create this foundation.
Why are you doing it?
Two, we set an expectation ofwho do you need to become to get
where you want to go.
So you have to also be clearabout that.
A lot of times, people will quitway too early and they'll say
(11:20):
you know well, I didn't hit mytarget.
And when we look at it, Janice,they didn't actually have a
target to begin with.
Like you know, you can't miss atarget that you actually don't
have.
All you know is, right now, itdoesn't feel good.
So how are we going to?
You know, how are we going tonavigate those feelings of not
(11:43):
feeling good?
So when I I have a failureframework that says, hey, listen
, failure, failure is one ofthree things.
It was either something youdidn't know, so a skill gap.
Let's evaluate.
Is it a skill gap?
It might be an identity gap.
Someone you weren't being,someone you weren't being, so
(12:07):
how did you show up in thisfailure?
Is it skill, is it identity?
Or is it courage?
There was something you didn'tsay that you needed to say.
So when you look at, so we givepeople a framework for failure
and processing their failure sothat they can move on and go oh,
(12:29):
my gosh, it's okay, I feel likeI failed.
It was literally just a skillgap.
Great, where do we get that?
Where do we get that?
How can you practice that?
And then, how do you rewardyourself?
Because the other component ofit is a lot of entrepreneurs are
type A, but we are running tothe very next thing without
(12:55):
fully processing the successeswe had in the day, so have time
to process.
These are the things that wentwell.
Your brain doesn't measure.
It's working, this is okay,this is safe, it feels good.
Keep going
Janice Hostager (13:09):
Okay, so it was a skill gap.
Genevieve Skory (13:11):
Yes.
Janice Hostager (13:13):
What was number two?
Genevieve Skory (13:14):
Skill gap, identity gap,
Janice Hostager (13:16):
Identity gap, courage gap.
And then the fourth one.
What was the fourth one youjust said?
Genevieve Skory (13:20):
It was three.
Janice Hostager (13:21):
Oh, it was three.
Okay.
Genevieve Skory (13:23):
Yeah, something you didn't say or do or feel
for the most part, okay, yeah.
And if you look at it, it'strue, like, for example, when
people talk about I don't feellike maybe I had a pitch, I got
a sales pitch, I had a pitch andthey didn't close.
(13:43):
Well, you can actually look atit from those three lenses and
find out like, was it somethingyou didn't know?
No, I, you know, I did thepitch, I did it right.
I presented it in a way thatfelt good, great, how did you
show up?
How did you feel at the time?
Well, I felt a little desperate, like I literally was, like I
(14:07):
needed them to buy from me,right, and that energy is not
like a CEO confidence energy,and your prospects feel that all
the time Right.
So now you can work on that.
If that's a thing, or in somecases and this happens a lot, I
know, you know this in marketingon that, if that's a thing, or
in some cases and this happens alot, I know, you know this in
marketing people don't actuallyclose a sale, like, as I told
(14:28):
you all the things, but I didn'tactually tell you what your
next step was to be involvedwith me, and so when somebody
feels like their failure has asystem that they can process and
learn from, it extends the lifeof their confidence.
You know, now I'm like, okay, Ilearned something, because
(14:50):
confidence comes from competence.
So we can get you to a placewhere you're like I learned from
my failure.
You're going to increase yourconfidence as you go.
But most people don't talkabout this.
It's kind of like just get outthere and show up and you know,
and I'm like, yeah, but ifyou're not learning, you know.
Janice Hostager (15:12):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, and I think that's very
much a I don't know misnomer,where, if you have a failure,
you just get back up again andkeep moving forward without ever
taking the time to say why didthis not go the way I wanted it
to?
Genevieve Skory (15:27):
Right.
My dog just came in.
She's happy to see me, so she'srunning around, sorry.
Janice Hostager (15:35):
No, I don't.
I can't even hear her.
So no worries,
Genevieve Skory (15:37):
Yeah and we all work alone, right?
I don't know if you have acommunity, but a lot of
entrepreneurs start off aloneand so nobody tells them.
Nobody just tells them that'snormal, like that's par for the
course
Janice Hostager (16:00):
Yeah, and one of the things that I actually
reserve this URL called BusinessBuddies.
I feel so strongly about thisis that there's just if you
don't have somebody that you cantalk to or say I've just had a
really bad day, I need a peptalk or something you know,
somebody to kind of bring youback up.
It's easy to fall into that,like you get into your own head
and you can.
I've done the most damage to myown life in my between my ears
(16:22):
you know just talking myself outof things and kicking myself
for things that I've done wrong,which is that in itself is not
helpful.
Yeah, you know, just belittlingyourself or criticizing
yourself is not going to helpyou.
You know that's going to do somuch damage.
Yes, so I love that.
(16:42):
What you have is just likethree things to look at you know
, yes, so.
Genevieve Skory (17:09):
And if you understand the framework and I
love the Business Buddies thing,so if you set that up, let me
know, because everybody does nowand it's like, ok, let's go
through the framework.
Let's process this together.
We need to normalize processingfailure instead of avoiding
failure.
As you mentioned, well, youhave to have somebody to call
because you're a marketingexpert.
And if I called you and went,gosh, I just posted this thing
and it got absolutely notraction, and you looked at it
and said like, listen, rookiemistake, everybody makes these
mistakes.
This is pretty normal.
We can just tweak it a littlebit.
(17:29):
Right, that's going to give mejust that.
I just needed a little shot ofenergy, a little, someone to
tell me.
That's kind of par for thecourse.
You know, I very often liken itto going to the gym, and it's
like if you go to the gym andyou work out and you complain
about being sore, but you talkto somebody who works out, right
(17:52):
, they're going to tell youwelcome to the club, and then
you normalize being sore as partof what you need to do, right.
Janice Hostager (18:01):
Yeah, yeah, so you mentioned this as being
something that you do on a dailybasis or on a regular basis,
like what does that actuallylook like in a practical daily
way?
Do you have like a set ofhabits that you go through, or
do you just wait till you havesomething that doesn't go well
(18:23):
and then kind of walk yourselfthrough it?
Genevieve Skory (18:24):
Yeah, that's a good question.
It really is about creating ahabit.
So it's not a triage thing asmuch as it's creating a set of
success habits which starts withshowing up in your day a
particular way.
Like I don't know about you,but for a very long time I would
(18:46):
just sit down and start to workand what I found was I was then
subject to the ebbs and flowsof whatever happened, whatever
showed up in my inbox, whatevermy video count was like, all of
those things could very easilyknock me off of my game, you
(19:08):
know.
So it starts off with being veryintentional because, remember,
failure is also one of thethings is who you're being.
So it's kind of like, okay, I'mgoing to start with being that
person who is successful.
So let me, let me take a minute, let me frame my whole entire
day through the lens of who Iwant to be.
(19:31):
I want to lead and not chase.
So let me remember I'm leadingand not chasing.
I'm trusting my systems, I feelgood about them and my job is
just to lead my prospectsthrough a journey of discovery
and not chase them and notconvince them.
Just starting from there a lotof times makes people show up
(19:55):
more authentically, which makesthem more dynamic and creates
more attraction.
Right, how they show up reallymatters.
So it starts there.
It starts, it continues on witha midday check-in.
So at what point in the day areyou going to schedule in your
reframe your check-in?
Because it's very easy to youknow, forget that.
(20:18):
This is what I'm intending todo.
And then at the end of the day,and there could be another
check-in in the afternoon,depending on how long your
workday is, but at the end ofthe day, it's a measurement of
what worked, why did it work,how did it feel?
And then deliberately measuringyour failures and processing
(20:39):
them.
So actually taking a look atyour day what didn't go well?
And let me process my failuresevery day.
Janice Hostager (20:47):
That's where the courage comes in, right.
Like taking a hard look andit's like, ooh, it's easier just
to move forward.
Much easier.
Genevieve Skory (20:54):
It is, but it's kind of like, you know, driving
with a flat tire, you know.
It's kind of like well, I knowthe road is bumpy but the car
still drives, so let me justkeep driving.
It's like listen, girl, justget out and change that tire,
but nobody you know what I mean.
Like people don't learn thathabit.
Janice Hostager (21:14):
Yeah, yeah, I love that you're talking about
this.
Nobody talks about this.
I mean yeah, I mean, it's justnot something that people,
people don't bring it up.
You know.
Like you know, on theentrepreneurship courses, nobody
says prepare yourself, it'sgoing to get ugly.
I love, I think it was.
Who is it?
I can't remember now who saidthis, but entrepreneurship is
(21:35):
like eating glass and I think it.
I just can't remember exactlywhat it is.
Genevieve Skory (21:41):
It is, though it is.
Janice Hostager (21:43):
Yes, yeah, yeah .
I actually put that in thefront of one of my courses
because I really wanted them tobe ready for that, because you
need to be ready for the harddays, the things that don't work
, because, especially inmarketing, so much of it is
testing.
Genevieve Skory (21:59):
Yes
Janice Hostager (22:00):
and we all want to go out there and put
together an ad that brings in amillion dollars, but it's
probably not going to happen,you know, without a few
iterations.
I mean, there is no shortcut,and you measure right.
Genevieve Skory (22:16):
You measure your iterations Like it's an
active part of marketing to lookat how things performed and to
tweak and adjust.
We need to do the same thing ona personal level.
You know if your day is acommercial for your business
right.
What things can you say workedwell and what things need to be
(22:38):
adjusted so that you can createa formula that you enjoy showing
up for every single day.
Janice Hostager (22:45):
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Yeah, love that.
I think about.
Well, maybe you know this.
Is there a point in time wherewe tend to kind of dip?
I know Brenda Burchard alwaystalks about the messy middle and
I feel like I just knowing thatthere's a messy middle has kept
me going sometimes.
You know, is that true, is it?
(23:06):
I mean kind of hard to tell,it's kind of a personal thing,
but the middle is the.
Genevieve Skory (23:10):
Yeah Well.
So yeah, I've heard that.
I've also heard it referred toas, like the field of despair,
where you know, and honestlyit's kind of like well here, and
I think it happens regularly tobe honest, and I think the more
(23:30):
you experience it, the moreyou're actually growing, and so
people that show up moreconsistently and are moving
faster in their business areactually going to have more
failure than people who don't.
So people that have big goalsactually need more emotional
support because they're going tobe bombarded on a daily basis
with things that didn't work,that they need to kind of work
(23:52):
through.
But if this is where you are,if you're starting at point A,
you want to go to point B.
It looks like this straightline, but the truth is there's a
big valley or field of despairbetween where you are and where
you want to go, because thereare things you do not know,
otherwise you'd already be thereand what we do is we glamorize
(24:16):
the there and we disregard thevalue of the journey.
Janice Hostager (24:23):
I love that.
I should embroider that on apillow somewhere
Genevieve Skory (24:27):
Value the journey, much learning and and
it is funny, and you know thisas a marketer, it really is all
about the hero's journey, right,every, every hero started off
as a zero, and the whole pointof the movie, the whole point of
the story is that personovercoming and becoming someone
(24:48):
different.
And in business it's like ifyou want a sequel, you gotta you
gotta master those skills forthe first, you know, for the
first movie, and then, and thenyou gotta take on another
journey and master those skillsand and so on, and the longer
you do it, I mean, do youremember I remember being afraid
(25:09):
of so many things that are nowcommonplace?
But, you know what I like.
You're like, oh, that was, Iremember when that was really
scary.
And now you're like, oh, girl,that's nothing.
Janice Hostager (25:22):
Totally.
Even podcasting.
I mean really, you know gettinga camera and talking to
somebody and putting it outthere, I mean that was
terrifying to me at first.
You know
Genevieve Skory (25:32):
Yeah, but seeing, yourself, listening to
yourself, judging yourself, allof those things, and if you're
like me, you probably recordedat least three podcasts and
didn't have the microphone on.
Like I, literally I like fail,fail again, fail again.
(25:52):
Oh, you know.
Janice Hostager (25:55):
Yes, yes, I redid my first episode, I think
four times.
It was like cause?
I thought I well, I remember Iwrote it, scripted it all out
for word for word, and thenrealized the whole podcast was
only like three and a halfminutes.
So I was like, okay, I probablyshould add a little more meat
to this, but anyway.
So you mentioned the word goalsand somewhere on your website
(26:21):
or somewhere I read that goalsdon't work.
Did I see that right?
Okay, so tell me why that is.
Why does traditional goalsetting not work?
Genevieve Skory (26:31):
Because what people tend to do is they set
goals in a very transactionalway and they're very tactical.
So the the brain is is wiredagain to keep you safe and it's
wired to make sure that youaren't doing anything outside of
(26:53):
your comfort zone.
Goals actually are a reallygreat idea when they're
structured properly and theyinclude things that aren't
numeric.
So a lot of times we're like mygoal is, you know, $100,000 a
month in sales, and until I'm at$100,000 a month in sales, I
(27:16):
haven't reached my goal andtherefore I am not successful.
You just have to be verycareful that you are including
measurements around progress,including measurements around
progress and the attainment ofthe goal, which most people they
(27:39):
don't do and then it becomesgoal setting is no fun because I
don't reach my goals.
Goal setting isn't fun becauseit doesn't feel good to not
reach your goals and thereforeI'm not going to set goals or
targets.
And if people aren't careful,they can weaponize their goals
against themselves.
Janice Hostager (27:56):
Mm-hmm, I am very familiar with that one yeah
.
Genevieve Skory (27:59):
And the brain uses that as evidence that you
should not continue, right, yeah?
Danger.
Stop setting goals and it's like, well, let's just reframe the
way we set those goals, let'smake sure that there's progress
markers in there and let'smeasure how things feel as well.
(28:20):
You know I come from.
I'm a reformed toxic hustler.
I still go to the meetings.
I still go to the meetingsbecause I had set up my business
in a way that was not authenticwith who I was.
I wasn't taught to measure howthings felt.
(28:42):
I wasn't taught to trust my gut.
I wasn't taught to enjoy theprocess.
I tied my self-worth to theattainment of a goal, and if I
didn't hit that goal, then myself-worth, my confidence, got
shot, and so I did everything Icould.
(29:03):
I missed dinner with myfamilies, I worked over
vacations and what happened wasI created this toxicity in
myself where I literally couldnever rest.
I felt guilty resting, and soyou know, there's just this
whole.
It just leads down a reallyugly path.
(29:24):
So I'm a reformed hustler.
I will, you know.
Janice Hostager (29:28):
Girl, we are cut from the same fabric.
I can tell you that one forsure.
Yeah, yeah,
Genevieve Skory (29:34):
Life is actually better on the other
side.
I'm like, oh my gosh, this isso much more fun.
Like my husband and I just tooka trip to Vegas and I've been
to Vegas a million times forconferences, conferences that I
ran and coordinated and spoke atall the things, and I literally
(29:59):
was like I actually get to goand enjoy myself.
This is a whole differentexperience.
So it is about, you know,showing up, enjoying the process
, and not everything beinghustle, hustle, hustle, measure,
measure, measure, attain,attain, attain.
You are actually worthy andperfect the way you are and if
(30:23):
your business makes you feelless than like it crosses over
into, you know, toxicity, whichto me, is part of the resilience
mapping is like let's get backto, but remember, the reason
you're doing this is this and,you know, let's make sure
there's alignment, because a lotof resilience mapping has to do
(30:44):
with alignment as well.
Janice Hostager (30:47):
Interesting.
Yeah, I mean, what you'resaying about your trip to Vegas
reminds me of, well, any trip Itry and take because I never
give myself.
So I was telling a friend thatmy goal was to take off one day
a quarter.
Because I thought like I wassuper proud of that.
I've been there, I know, andshe's like that's all.
(31:14):
I was like, well, I thoughtthat was doing pretty well and
it's so sad, right?
Because when I did and myhusband and I just went to the
beach we live in Austin, Texas,so the beach is like three and a
half four hours away and I tooka Friday off to go do that.
And when I say I take a Fridayoff, I just meant that I'm not
in my office, but I still had mycomputer with me, I still had
(31:37):
my iPhone going, but I realizedthat it just felt strange not
working.
It feels almost like when youhave a child and you feel guilty
for going to work.
Well, this is kind of how itwas.
I felt guilty for not being inmy office, I was leaving my baby
(31:59):
behind and it was a horribleplace to be, horrible mindset,
but I think I need to go tothose meetings that you're going
to be.
Genevieve Skory (32:18):
I'll sponsor you.
I'll sponsor you.
It's what was reallyinteresting, Janice, was.
I went on my social media and Iposted I'm going to Vegas and
guess what not coming with mefor the first time in 10 years.
.
.
my laptop.
And I know like you feel thissense of panic.
I always felt this sense oflike I need to do enough and
(32:40):
like here's the big deal.
Rest in my head was alwaysearned.
It was not part of my strategy.
Now rest is part of my strategy.
Janice Hostager (32:56):
I love that and you know, cognitively I
understand that and you do.
Even on Mondays, my head is somuch clearer than it is on a
Friday afternoon by a long ways,and so I know that just having
a couple days, or sometimes justone day, to just clear my head
(33:17):
and not think about work is soinvigorating for your creativity
, for your clarity.
So so helpful.
So I love what you said tooabout that, because I tend to
like for next year, I'm like,all right, so I need to schedule
(33:38):
like a few days off after mynext launch, you know, or
something like that, or afterthis big project.
But you're right, that'sframing it as a reward, so I
just need to prioritize my, myown self-care.
Genevieve Skory (33:50):
Yeah, so what was interesting to me was I
learned this a long time ago andI rejected it.
Rejected it was that you needtwo days off in a row to
increase your productivity.
Janice Hostager (34:04):
Good to know,
Genevieve Skory (34:05):
Two days in a row.
So you know, if you have tostart with one, we'll accept
that, but you really do want towork up to two days in a row?
No working, no working, justbeing existing, recharging, you
know, enjoying life, Like therewas that.
(34:29):
I was like wow, wow, I'mmissing out on a lot by being so
, you know, I don't want to sayassertive, but so goal oriented,
Like that was it.
Everything was about the goals.
Janice Hostager (34:45):
Yeah, yeah, that is a hundred percent how
I'm built as well.
It's just like that's what Ithink about when I'm on vacation
.
Genevieve Skory (34:52):
Have me on speed dial.
I can chalk it down, like,Janice.
Go have a beach time withoutyour computer or phone.
It's weird at first because thebrain honestly, what's
happening is your brain issaying this isn't safe.
(35:13):
It's not safe to relax, it'snot safe to be untethered to
your phone.
It's not like I used to have awatch that, you know, buzzed me
off.
I stopped wearing my Applewatch.
Janice Hostager (35:26):
Yep, got one right here.
Yep, well.
And the really interestingthing not interesting, sad,
really is it puts you at theedge of burnout, and if you
burned out then it's pretty hardto get back from that.
Not impossible, of course, butyou really do need some serious
downtime to take care of that.
(35:48):
I had just finished a bigproject a couple weeks ago,
something I've been working onsince December of last year, and
that first week when I did nothave this project to work on, it
was like my whole body was in astate of like, not despair.
(36:09):
It was like my body wanted togo.
My body kept telling me to dothese things.
My head kept saying, no, youcan relax now, you should relax
now, read a book, now, you knowsomething.
And it was like I was notadjusted well because I was so
used to that pace.
It was sort of like when I wasin college and you have finals
(36:29):
week, right, and so you'recramming and you're up all night
and you're eating poorly andyou're not exercising, and
suddenly you're all done withfinals and it's like what do I
do now?
Genevieve Skory (36:45):
Women are good at that, yeah, yeah, we're good
at being and the reason thathappens sorry to interrupt, but
the reason that happens isbecause your brain releases
chemicals in that frenzied statethat you actually become
addicted to, and so it doesn'tfeel normal when it's not
(37:10):
flooded with those chemicals anylonger.
So it's telling you like youbetter hustle, you better hustle
because I need more of thosechemicals, and it's like it's a
total rewiring.
It really is.
It's a total rewiring becauseit does lead to burnout and so
many women and I think it'sparticularly something women are
(37:37):
more prone to because we havemultiple roles.
So we're already like, I'mbeing a mom, I'm being a wife,
(38:24):
I'm being an executive.
Or, I'm being a mom, I'm beinga wife, I'm being an
entrepreneur.
And we're always doing threethings at once.
'Cause I gotta tell you, my momradar, never off.
Like, never off.
I'm always scanning theenvironment for my children.
And what's safe for them, whatthey are doing, what's going on.
So I think we tend to be moreprone to that.
Janice Hostager (38:24):
Yeah, that's absolutely true.
So, moving back a little togoal setting.
Well, it's all good stuff.
Very good stuff.
And it's all integrated andit's all important for sure.
But so you recommend, you know,setting more achievable goals.
Is that kind of what you saidis like, which kind of goes
against the message that we'regetting all the time, which is
aim high, you know, and, and but, and, especially relevant in
marketing, because we like toset goals in marketing.
(38:46):
So how do you, how do you getto that place where you're
saying, okay, well, I was hopingto make you marketing.
So how do you?
How do you get to that placewhere you're saying, okay, well,
I was hoping to make you know10 grand this month, but do you
just say, well, maybe I'll makeseven or what?
How do you get to that point,like, how do you.
.
.
Genevieve Skory (39:01):
Yep And I want to be fair, I think.
I think the way we set goals isvery one-dimensional and I
think a good goal has moredimensions to it.
So if it's, I want to make$10,000 in the month, yeah, you
got to kind of look at like,well, what was last month and
does it really make sense that Ican get there, or am I already
(39:25):
setting myself up for success?
But let's say that it'sreasonable?
You also have to createprogress goals around that
particular goal.
So for me it would be did Ishow up regularly from a leading
(39:45):
position or am I chasing?
So if 90% of your goals is yourand I believe it is is your
psychology and your state, 10%of it are your skills and your
tactics.
How do you measure who you'reshowing up as?
So did I reset at the end ofevery night?
(40:07):
You can measure that.
Actually, it's something youcan choose to do.
I sat down every night and dida debrief with myself of my day.
Great.
I showed up every morning withintention.
Great.
I made X amount of sales calls,if that's part of the equation.
(40:28):
So what is required to get tothat 10,000 and are those things
also being measured?
Those are part of the dimension, because maybe you didn't hit
that number but you can now seea better path to that number
because you're emphasizing theprogress and you're emphasizing
(40:51):
the learning and your focus justshifts a little and that long
term will actually help you getto that $10,000 a month, opposed
to just it's $10,000,.
You know, sink or swim.
Janice Hostager (41:08):
So good, makes me want to put a sticker chart
on my journal or something tojust kind of like keep track of
it.
Because for me that's I don'tknow why it's really motivating
to just be able to tracksomething.
I guess it's a goal setter inme, right?
Genevieve Skory (41:21):
Well, and I am actually working on a
journal, a confidence journal,that starts off with these
things that someone can measureevery day and actually work
through the habit of like,instead of just running, feeling
, stopping, breathing andcreating success in a
(41:42):
sustainable and healthy way.
Janice Hostager (41:46):
Okay.
Well, if somebody is listeningtoday and they realize that they
need to rebuild their internalmonologue, where should they
start?
Genevieve Skory (42:01):
They should start with.
What feeling am I trying toachieve by hitting a particular
goal?
So and I also I'm going to saythis I think a lot of what we
learn is from men in business,and I think that men are wired
very differently than women, andI think what's happened is
(42:24):
there's just been a bit of a lagfor us women where we're like
okay, that worked for like alittle bit like that.
But now I'm ready for impact.
Like, if you actually surveyedmost women, most women, if you
said you can make a lot of moneyor you can make decent money
and create an impact, which ofthose two things would you want?
(42:46):
Most women would say I wouldlike to make decent money and
create an impact.
I want to have time with myfamily, I want to have time with
my friends.
I want to create an impact.
There's a feeling associatedwith success that isn't
typically measured by a number,and men are just driven and
(43:06):
wired differently.
They can do one thing, onething, only focus on that one
thing, and they can do it to theexclusion of everything else,
which is good and bad.
But women, we'remultidimensional.
So somebody and in particularmy audience is women.
I would tell them let's startat the very beginning.
(43:27):
Why does this need to succeedfor you?
What is the feeling of success?
So for me, for example, I valuesecurity Like.
Success to me is security as inI don't have to worry about can
we pay our bills?
I don't have to worry about,you know, is there going to be
(43:48):
food in the fridge?
Like.
I'm looking for security, which, by the way, isn't actually a
great goal.
Because business is anythingbut security.
Janice Hostager (43:59):
It's true.
Actually entrepreneurship, yeah.
Genevieve Skory (44:01):
To be clear, right, but really, what I enjoy
is this feeling of impact.
Like for me it is impact.
I want to know that I'm helpingother women who, like me,
needed something different fortheir lives.
And so I think about like I hadthis happen yesterday.
(44:23):
I was just sitting around and Iwas like, oh, you know, because
we do.
I mean I'd be lying if I saidwe don't all have days where
we're like you know what?
I think it's time to get a job.
Like we all have days wherewe're like I don't know, is this
going to work out.
And I got an email from someonewho said you know, I was
listening to your podcast and Ihave to tell you I was crying
(44:45):
because you accurately summed upwhat I'm experiencing and I
just want to thank you.
And this was a woman, a youngwoman, four kids, husband, who
is, you know, not healthy andshe needs her business to work.
So that drives me.
Like I'm like I don't even careif I make money today.
(45:05):
That's why I work, that's why Ishow up.
So you've got to get reallyclear.
I would tell people, get to apoint where you are very, very
clear that, even if you didn'tmake a sale, what would make you
happy today, and I would telleverybody that needs to be your
driving reason to wake up everyday with authenticity and to
(45:27):
continue going.
So that would be the.
That would be where I wouldtell people to start.
And if you pull most people,Janice, they don't know, they
really don't know, and I thinkthat puts people at risk because
it's like that's your lifeline,that's your fuel, that's the
baseline, that's your energy.
Janice Hostager (45:49):
So good, oh my gosh.
Well, I could talk to you foranother hour, but where can our
listeners connect with you, ordo you have any resources that
could go deeper into resiliencemapping?
Genevieve Skory (46:01):
I I have an imposter syndrome
checklist for people that theycan start with.
So if they connect with me onany of the social media
platforms and mention your and Ican send you a link you can put
in the notes so people can justclick right there and get the
imposter syndrome checklist,which will reset why you're
(46:23):
doing what you're doing and helpyou understand that you're
actually doing the right thingsand how to stay on that path.
But I'm out there as Genevieveunderscore story on Instagram,
on Facebook, and people cancontact me there and, of course,
I have a podcast that peoplecan listen to called Fix this,
(46:45):
Grow Fast.
Janice Hostager (46:46):
So love it, love it.
Thank you so much.
I will put all the links toeverything we talked about today
in the show notes.
Genevieve Skory (46:52):
Thank you for having me.
I'm Janice Hostager.
After three decades in themarketing business and many
years of being an entrepreneur,I've learned a thing or two
about marketing.
Join me as we talk aboutmarketing, small business and
life in between.
Welcome to My Weekly Marketing.
Welcome back to My WeeklyMarketing.
(00:33):
I'm Janice Hostager, andalthough we talk a lot about
marketing on this podcast, wealso talk about stuff that
drives our business forward and,to be honest, sometimes it's
not another marketing strategythat we need, it's a little more
encouragement, or maybe alittle more truth, or maybe a
little mindset boost.
So today I'm joined by GenevieveSkory, a resilience coach who
specializes in helpingentrepreneurs like us navigate
(00:56):
the emotional highs and lows ofbuilding a business.
Because, let's face it, ifyou've been in business for even
a little while, you've probablyreached a day or two where
you've just felt overwhelmed anddefeated.
Right, you're not alone.
So if you've ever felt stuck orstalled or just plain exhausted
, trying to build momentum inyour business, this episode is
(01:17):
for you.
So here's my talk withGenevieve.
Hey, Genevieve, welcome to MyWeekly Marketing.
Genevieve Skory (01:23):
Hey, thanks for having me.
Janice Hostager (01:26):
So today we're talking about resilience.
So why do you think resilienceis such a critical skill for
entrepreneurs?
Genevieve Skory (01:33):
Oh, you know, because I will tell you.
Well, can I tell a story first?
I'll tell you, I'll tell youwhy.
Because it's it's grounded in myown experience, and that is
that you know every so I neverreally thought I would be an
entrepreneur.
Honestly, I kind of stumbledinto it based on a passion I had
, and what I very quicklyfigured out was that passion was
(01:59):
not enough to sustain thelearning curve required.
You know, as a marketing expert, right, your passion only gets
you like so far.
And once you get to like yourfirst big obstacle, you have to
make a mental, spiritual andlike intellectual decision to
(02:25):
either figure it out or turnback around.
And, and I, I actually rememberthinking but everybody needs
what I have.
You know everybody needs it.
I know for sure everybody needsit.
And, and and I will tell youwith every and I can go back to
like a sales job that I hadworking for a health club where
(02:50):
we were catering to overweightpeople.
So it was like the people thatwere coming into the gym really
needed what we had, right.
But the first minute you hit anobstacle where it's like whether
it's an objection, whether it's, I've been on social media.
Nobody seems to be payingattention, or it's been weeks
(03:13):
since I had a sale, or this isthe other one.
My friends and family didn'tquote unquote support me, which
I'm kind of like.
Well, they weren't really yourideal client to begin with.
So you know there's that, butnobody tells you.
There's a learning curve, notonly when you start, but with
(03:33):
every new stage of your business, and so if you don't have a
resilient plan like you don'thave a resilience map that you
can go back to and go I was toldthis would happen.
I'm going to go back, I'm goingto stay the course.
I'm going to figure things out.
You're super likely to thinkthis isn't for you and I'll tell
(03:56):
you, Janice, I justpassionately feel like there's
so many people out there with,honestly, really good ideas that
they need to like bring birththat thing, you know.
So I just 100% thought you knowwhat.
What needs to happen is peopleneed to be told in advance.
You're going to hit obstaclesat every stage of your business
(04:18):
and if you don't have a plan forhow to navigate that
emotionally, you're going toquit way too soon.
You're just going to quit waytoo soon.
Janice Hostager (04:27):
So this is so 100% true.
I always say thatentrepreneurship is more of a
head game than a skills game.
You know it kind of reminds meof when I was learning golf.
I would do really well when I'dbe like putting by myself or
driving by myself and I'd getout there in front of you know
my friends who were golfers andlike you know what do you call
(04:51):
it Divot every time.
You know it was just likebecause it was something about
it.
Like you, if you don'tanticipate that you're going to
stumble at a certain point, youknow you get into your head too
much, I think, and I totally seethat in business.
Genevieve Skory (05:09):
Yes, and people start with a product plan.
They start out with a productplan.
They also start off if they'relucky with a marketing plan,
which you know you're out theresinging the song all day every
day.
So you know kudos to you, right.
But nobody says you know whatyou also need.
(05:30):
You need a resilience mapbecause as you go along here,
you have to be bad in order toget good.
Like, nobody tells you thatbecause, especially if you're
looking on social media, youlike but look how successful
everybody is.
And I'm like but look at youknow you can't actually look at
(05:50):
all of the behind the scenes,trauma and learning and failing
that transfer, because everybodyjust wants to give you the
highlight reel.
This is my great business andlike, okay, but it wasn't always
great, was it it?
Just you know it wasn't.
Janice Hostager (06:09):
Yeah, yeah, a hundred percent, yeah.
That's why I wanted to have youon the podcast, because I
really want everybody to realizethis, that it's not about just
checking all the boxes and doingthe work.
It's like you have to be readyfor that self-doubt, that
imposter syndrome, the criticismthat can come on social media,
(06:32):
the failures I mean.
You do.
You have to know that they'reout there and I think that's why
.
So this is my third businesstechnically and my first one I
folded, like you know, justright away.
It was like I don't like this.
And then you know.
And then again you startthinking, okay, I've got to have
(06:55):
you know a little more, alittle tougher skin.
I can do this this time, andyou know.
But you do, you learn by doingit and you learn from your
failures, that's for sure.
So what is resilience mappingand like, how is it different
from like mindset work?
Genevieve Skory (07:14):
It incorporates a little bit of mindset work,
because your brain is the singledetermining factor of whether
you succeed or fail.
Like I really believe that 90%of your success is tied to your
brain, which, by the way, isdesigned to keep you very
(07:35):
comfortable.
It like, literally is designedto be like Janice, don't stay
where you are in your housedoing the things, because we
know that this will not kill us,so let's just stay here in
safety.
So the brain is actually wiredfor safety and not success.
(07:58):
So mindset does come into play,because part of your brain does
need to be rewired.
But resilience mapping is aboutstarting the conversation.
From where do we want to go?
Why do we want to get there?
Like, like the really deep,deep, why and you know I hate to
(08:23):
use the word why, because it'sbecome such an overused word,
but people use it very surface,level-ish.
It's kind of like well, I wantthis to work because and a lot
of times it has to do with you.
I want this to work because Idon't want to have to work in
corporate America.
I need this to work because youknow we need the extra income,
(08:46):
whatever it happens to be.
Maybe you do have a really bigmission.
It's like I need this to workbecause, like, the world needs
to have what I have.
But that is the fuel of thebusiness, which gets completely
disregarded in your day-to-dayactivity.
So resilience mapping is aboutsetting a really solid
(09:09):
foundation emotionally and, insome cases, spiritually.
I think that business is also aspiritual game in terms of,
like who you have to become.
But there's also this sense of,but there's also this sense of.
So I think of failure asunprocessed, unprocessed
feedback.
So when people fail, they verytypically will say I'm terrible
(09:35):
at this, and then they won'tactually look at the very piece
of feedback that will help themovercome whatever it is that
they're experiencing.
So it's like well, nobody seemsto want what I have.
I feel like a failure.
Your brain says great, let's goback to doing what we used to
(09:56):
do.
I told you this wasn't a goodidea, when what you need to do
is have systems in place thatare like okay, one, I know why
I'm doing this, so some realdeep work on this is why I'm
doing it.
Two, a strategy for how you'regoing to deal with failure, and
(10:17):
also because the other thingthat people don't do is they
really don't process theirfailure, and when you don't
process your failure, you don'tget that required feedback that
you need.
So we create a system forprocessing failure on a daily
basis, right so?
Yeah, right.
So you know, when you have abusiness, you look at numbers a
(10:37):
lot.
If you're smart, if you'resmart, you're looking at
business numbers a lot, but thisis like that soft measurement
that never gets done.
So what happens is you don'tactually record your successes
or your progress or yourlearning, because you didn't get
(10:59):
a sale, you didn't get anoutcome that you measured based
on a number.
So we create this foundation.
Why are you doing it?
Two, we set an expectation ofwho do you need to become to get
where you want to go.
So you have to also be clearabout that.
A lot of times, people will quitway too early and they'll say
(11:20):
you know well, I didn't hit mytarget.
And when we look at it, Janice,they didn't actually have a
target to begin with.
Like you know, you can't miss atarget that you actually don't
have.
All you know is, right now, itdoesn't feel good.
So how are we going to?
You know, how are we going tonavigate those feelings of not
(11:43):
feeling good?
So when I I have a failureframework that says, hey, listen
, failure, failure is one ofthree things.
It was either something youdidn't know, so a skill gap.
Let's evaluate.
Is it a skill gap?
It might be an identity gap.
Someone you weren't being,someone you weren't being, so
(12:07):
how did you show up in thisfailure?
Is it skill, is it identity?
Or is it courage?
There was something you didn'tsay that you needed to say.
So when you look at, so we givepeople a framework for failure
and processing their failure sothat they can move on and go oh,
(12:29):
my gosh, it's okay, I feel likeI failed.
It was literally just a skillgap.
Great, where do we get that?
Where do we get that?
How can you practice that?
And then, how do you rewardyourself?
Because the other component ofit is a lot of entrepreneurs are
type A, but we are running tothe very next thing without
(12:55):
fully processing the successeswe had in the day, so have time
to process.
These are the things that wentwell.
Your brain doesn't measure.
It's working, this is okay,this is safe, it feels good.
Keep going
Janice Hostager (13:09):
Okay, so it was a skill gap.
Genevieve Skory (13:11):
Yes.
Janice Hostager (13:13):
What was number two?
Genevieve Skory (13:14):
Skill gap, identity gap,
Janice Hostager (13:16):
Identity gap, courage gap.
And then the fourth one.
What was the fourth one youjust said?
Genevieve Skory (13:20):
It was three.
Janice Hostager (13:21):
Oh, it was three.
Okay.
Genevieve Skory (13:23):
Yeah, something you didn't say or do or feel
for the most part, okay, yeah.
And if you look at it, it'strue, like, for example, when
people talk about I don't feellike maybe I had a pitch, I got
a sales pitch, I had a pitch andthey didn't close.
(13:43):
Well, you can actually look atit from those three lenses and
find out like, was it somethingyou didn't know?
No, I, you know, I did thepitch, I did it right.
I presented it in a way thatfelt good, great, how did you
show up?
How did you feel at the time?
Well, I felt a little desperate, like I literally was, like I
(14:07):
needed them to buy from me,right, and that energy is not
like a CEO confidence energy,and your prospects feel that all
the time Right.
So now you can work on that.
If that's a thing, or in somecases and this happens a lot, I
know, you know this in marketingon that, if that's a thing, or
in some cases and this happens alot, I know, you know this in
marketing people don't actuallyclose a sale, like, as I told
(14:28):
you all the things, but I didn'tactually tell you what your
next step was to be involvedwith me, and so when somebody
feels like their failure has asystem that they can process and
learn from, it extends the lifeof their confidence.
You know, now I'm like, okay, Ilearned something, because
(14:50):
confidence comes from competence.
So we can get you to a placewhere you're like I learned from
my failure.
You're going to increase yourconfidence as you go.
But most people don't talkabout this.
It's kind of like just get outthere and show up and you know,
and I'm like, yeah, but ifyou're not learning, you know.
Janice Hostager (15:12):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, and I think that's very
much a I don't know misnomer,where, if you have a failure,
you just get back up again andkeep moving forward without ever
taking the time to say why didthis not go the way I wanted it
to?
Genevieve Skory (15:27):
Right.
My dog just came in.
She's happy to see me, so she'srunning around, sorry.
Janice Hostager (15:35):
No, I don't.
I can't even hear her.
So no worries,
Genevieve Skory (15:37):
Yeah and we all work alone, right?
I don't know if you have acommunity, but a lot of
entrepreneurs start off aloneand so nobody tells them.
Nobody just tells them that'snormal, like that's par for the
course
Janice Hostager (16:00):
Yeah, and one of the things that I actually
reserve this URL called BusinessBuddies.
I feel so strongly about thisis that there's just if you
don't have somebody that you cantalk to or say I've just had a
really bad day, I need a peptalk or something you know,
somebody to kind of bring youback up.
It's easy to fall into that,like you get into your own head
and you can.
I've done the most damage to myown life in my between my ears
(16:22):
you know just talking myself outof things and kicking myself
for things that I've done wrong,which is that in itself is not
helpful.
Yeah, you know, just belittlingyourself or criticizing
yourself is not going to helpyou.
You know that's going to do somuch damage.
Yes, so I love that.
(16:42):
What you have is just likethree things to look at you know
, yes, so.
Genevieve Skory (17:09):
And if you understand the framework and I
love the Business Buddies thing,so if you set that up, let me
know, because everybody does nowand it's like, ok, let's go
through the framework.
Let's process this together.
We need to normalize processingfailure instead of avoiding
failure.
As you mentioned, well, youhave to have somebody to call
because you're a marketingexpert.
And if I called you and went,gosh, I just posted this thing
and it got absolutely notraction, and you looked at it
and said like, listen, rookiemistake, everybody makes these
mistakes.
This is pretty normal.
We can just tweak it a littlebit.
(17:29):
Right, that's going to give mejust that.
I just needed a little shot ofenergy, a little, someone to
tell me.
That's kind of par for thecourse.
You know, I very often liken itto going to the gym, and it's
like if you go to the gym andyou work out and you complain
about being sore, but you talkto somebody who works out, right
(17:52):
, they're going to tell youwelcome to the club, and then
you normalize being sore as partof what you need to do, right.
Janice Hostager (18:01):
Yeah, yeah, so you mentioned this as being
something that you do on a dailybasis or on a regular basis,
like what does that actuallylook like in a practical daily
way?
Do you have like a set ofhabits that you go through, or
do you just wait till you havesomething that doesn't go well
(18:23):
and then kind of walk yourselfthrough it?
Genevieve Skory (18:24):
Yeah, that's a good question.
It really is about creating ahabit.
So it's not a triage thing asmuch as it's creating a set of
success habits which starts withshowing up in your day a
particular way.
Like I don't know about you,but for a very long time I would
(18:46):
just sit down and start to workand what I found was I was then
subject to the ebbs and flowsof whatever happened, whatever
showed up in my inbox, whatevermy video count was like, all of
those things could very easilyknock me off of my game, you
(19:08):
know.
So it starts off with being veryintentional because, remember,
failure is also one of thethings is who you're being.
So it's kind of like, okay, I'mgoing to start with being that
person who is successful.
So let me, let me take a minute, let me frame my whole entire
day through the lens of who Iwant to be.
(19:31):
I want to lead and not chase.
So let me remember I'm leadingand not chasing.
I'm trusting my systems, I feelgood about them and my job is
just to lead my prospectsthrough a journey of discovery
and not chase them and notconvince them.
Just starting from there a lotof times makes people show up
(19:55):
more authentically, which makesthem more dynamic and creates
more attraction.
Right, how they show up reallymatters.
So it starts there.
It starts, it continues on witha midday check-in.
So at what point in the day areyou going to schedule in your
reframe your check-in?
Because it's very easy to youknow, forget that.
(20:18):
This is what I'm intending todo.
And then at the end of the day,and there could be another
check-in in the afternoon,depending on how long your
workday is, but at the end ofthe day, it's a measurement of
what worked, why did it work,how did it feel?
And then deliberately measuringyour failures and processing
(20:39):
them.
So actually taking a look atyour day what didn't go well?
And let me process my failuresevery day.
Janice Hostager (20:47):
That's where the courage comes in, right.
Like taking a hard look andit's like, ooh, it's easier just
to move forward.
Much easier.
Genevieve Skory (20:54):
It is, but it's kind of like, you know, driving
with a flat tire, you know.
It's kind of like well, I knowthe road is bumpy but the car
still drives, so let me justkeep driving.
It's like listen, girl, justget out and change that tire,
but nobody you know what I mean.
Like people don't learn thathabit.
Janice Hostager (21:14):
Yeah, yeah, I love that you're talking about
this.
Nobody talks about this.
I mean yeah, I mean, it's justnot something that people,
people don't bring it up.
You know.
Like you know, on theentrepreneurship courses, nobody
says prepare yourself, it'sgoing to get ugly.
I love, I think it was.
Who is it?
I can't remember now who saidthis, but entrepreneurship is
(21:35):
like eating glass and I think it.
I just can't remember exactlywhat it is.
Genevieve Skory (21:41):
It is, though it is.
Janice Hostager (21:43):
Yes, yeah, yeah .
I actually put that in thefront of one of my courses
because I really wanted them tobe ready for that, because you
need to be ready for the harddays, the things that don't work
, because, especially inmarketing, so much of it is
testing.
Genevieve Skory (21:59):
Yes
Janice Hostager (22:00):
and we all want to go out there and put
together an ad that brings in amillion dollars, but it's
probably not going to happen,you know, without a few
iterations.
I mean, there is no shortcut,and you measure right.
Genevieve Skory (22:16):
You measure your iterations Like it's an
active part of marketing to lookat how things performed and to
tweak and adjust.
We need to do the same thing ona personal level.
You know if your day is acommercial for your business
right.
What things can you say workedwell and what things need to be
(22:38):
adjusted so that you can createa formula that you enjoy showing
up for every single day.
Janice Hostager (22:45):
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Yeah, love that.
I think about.
Well, maybe you know this.
Is there a point in time wherewe tend to kind of dip?
I know Brenda Burchard alwaystalks about the messy middle and
I feel like I just knowing thatthere's a messy middle has kept
me going sometimes.
You know, is that true, is it?
(23:06):
I mean kind of hard to tell,it's kind of a personal thing,
but the middle is the.
Genevieve Skory (23:10):
Yeah Well.
So yeah, I've heard that.
I've also heard it referred toas, like the field of despair,
where you know, and honestlyit's kind of like well here, and
I think it happens regularly tobe honest, and I think the more
(23:30):
you experience it, the moreyou're actually growing, and so
people that show up moreconsistently and are moving
faster in their business areactually going to have more
failure than people who don't.
So people that have big goalsactually need more emotional
support because they're going tobe bombarded on a daily basis
with things that didn't work,that they need to kind of work
(23:52):
through.
But if this is where you are,if you're starting at point A,
you want to go to point B.
It looks like this straightline, but the truth is there's a
big valley or field of despairbetween where you are and where
you want to go, because thereare things you do not know,
otherwise you'd already be thereand what we do is we glamorize
(24:16):
the there and we disregard thevalue of the journey.
Janice Hostager (24:23):
I love that.
I should embroider that on apillow somewhere
Genevieve Skory (24:27):
Value the journey, much learning and and
it is funny, and you know thisas a marketer, it really is all
about the hero's journey, right,every, every hero started off
as a zero, and the whole pointof the movie, the whole point of
the story is that personovercoming and becoming someone
(24:48):
different.
And in business it's like ifyou want a sequel, you gotta you
gotta master those skills forthe first, you know, for the
first movie, and then, and thenyou gotta take on another
journey and master those skillsand and so on, and the longer
you do it, I mean, do youremember I remember being afraid
(25:09):
of so many things that are nowcommonplace?
But, you know what I like.
You're like, oh, that was, Iremember when that was really
scary.
And now you're like, oh, girl,that's nothing.
Janice Hostager (25:22):
Totally.
Even podcasting.
I mean really, you know gettinga camera and talking to
somebody and putting it outthere, I mean that was
terrifying to me at first.
You know
Genevieve Skory (25:32):
Yeah, but seeing, yourself, listening to
yourself, judging yourself, allof those things, and if you're
like me, you probably recordedat least three podcasts and
didn't have the microphone on.
Like I, literally I like fail,fail again, fail again.
(25:52):
Oh, you know.
Janice Hostager (25:55):
Yes, yes, I redid my first episode, I think
four times.
It was like cause?
I thought I well, I remember Iwrote it, scripted it all out
for word for word, and thenrealized the whole podcast was
only like three and a halfminutes.
So I was like, okay, I probablyshould add a little more meat
to this, but anyway.
So you mentioned the word goalsand somewhere on your website
(26:21):
or somewhere I read that goalsdon't work.
Did I see that right?
Okay, so tell me why that is.
Why does traditional goalsetting not work?
Genevieve Skory (26:31):
Because what people tend to do is they set
goals in a very transactionalway and they're very tactical.
So the the brain is is wiredagain to keep you safe and it's
wired to make sure that youaren't doing anything outside of
(26:53):
your comfort zone.
Goals actually are a reallygreat idea when they're
structured properly and theyinclude things that aren't
numeric.
So a lot of times we're like mygoal is, you know, $100,000 a
month in sales, and until I'm at$100,000 a month in sales, I
(27:16):
haven't reached my goal andtherefore I am not successful.
You just have to be verycareful that you are including
measurements around progress,including measurements around
progress and the attainment ofthe goal, which most people they
(27:39):
don't do and then it becomesgoal setting is no fun because I
don't reach my goals.
Goal setting isn't fun becauseit doesn't feel good to not
reach your goals and thereforeI'm not going to set goals or
targets.
And if people aren't careful,they can weaponize their goals
against themselves.
Janice Hostager (27:56):
Mm-hmm, I am very familiar with that one yeah
.
Genevieve Skory (27:59):
And the brain uses that as evidence that you
should not continue, right, yeah?
Danger.
Stop setting goals and it's like, well, let's just reframe the
way we set those goals, let'smake sure that there's progress
markers in there and let'smeasure how things feel as well.
(28:20):
You know I come from.
I'm a reformed toxic hustler.
I still go to the meetings.
I still go to the meetingsbecause I had set up my business
in a way that was not authenticwith who I was.
I wasn't taught to measure howthings felt.
(28:42):
I wasn't taught to trust my gut.
I wasn't taught to enjoy theprocess.
I tied my self-worth to theattainment of a goal, and if I
didn't hit that goal, then myself-worth, my confidence, got
shot, and so I did everything Icould.
(29:03):
I missed dinner with myfamilies, I worked over
vacations and what happened wasI created this toxicity in
myself where I literally couldnever rest.
I felt guilty resting, and soyou know, there's just this
whole.
It just leads down a reallyugly path.
(29:24):
So I'm a reformed hustler.
I will, you know.
Janice Hostager (29:28):
Girl, we are cut from the same fabric.
I can tell you that one forsure.
Yeah, yeah,
Genevieve Skory (29:34):
Life is actually better on the other
side.
I'm like, oh my gosh, this isso much more fun.
Like my husband and I just tooka trip to Vegas and I've been
to Vegas a million times forconferences, conferences that I
ran and coordinated and spoke atall the things, and I literally
(29:59):
was like I actually get to goand enjoy myself.
This is a whole differentexperience.
So it is about, you know,showing up, enjoying the process
, and not everything beinghustle, hustle, hustle, measure,
measure, measure, attain,attain, attain.
You are actually worthy andperfect the way you are and if
(30:23):
your business makes you feelless than like it crosses over
into, you know, toxicity, whichto me, is part of the resilience
mapping is like let's get backto, but remember, the reason
you're doing this is this and,you know, let's make sure
there's alignment, because a lotof resilience mapping has to do
(30:44):
with alignment as well.
Janice Hostager (30:47):
Interesting.
Yeah, I mean, what you'resaying about your trip to Vegas
reminds me of, well, any trip Itry and take because I never
give myself.
So I was telling a friend thatmy goal was to take off one day
a quarter.
Because I thought like I wassuper proud of that.
I've been there, I know, andshe's like that's all.
(31:14):
I was like, well, I thoughtthat was doing pretty well and
it's so sad, right?
Because when I did and myhusband and I just went to the
beach we live in Austin, Texas,so the beach is like three and a
half four hours away and I tooka Friday off to go do that.
And when I say I take a Fridayoff, I just meant that I'm not
in my office, but I still had mycomputer with me, I still had
(31:37):
my iPhone going, but I realizedthat it just felt strange not
working.
It feels almost like when youhave a child and you feel guilty
for going to work.
Well, this is kind of how itwas.
I felt guilty for not being inmy office, I was leaving my baby
(31:59):
behind and it was a horribleplace to be, horrible mindset,
but I think I need to go tothose meetings that you're going
to be.
Genevieve Skory (32:18):
I'll sponsor you.
I'll sponsor you.
It's what was reallyinteresting, Janice, was.
I went on my social media and Iposted I'm going to Vegas and
guess what not coming with mefor the first time in 10 years.
.
.
my laptop.
And I know like you feel thissense of panic.
I always felt this sense oflike I need to do enough and
(32:40):
like here's the big deal.
Rest in my head was alwaysearned.
It was not part of my strategy.
Now rest is part of my strategy.
Janice Hostager (32:56):
I love that and you know, cognitively I
understand that and you do.
Even on Mondays, my head is somuch clearer than it is on a
Friday afternoon by a long ways,and so I know that just having
a couple days, or sometimes justone day, to just clear my head
(33:17):
and not think about work is soinvigorating for your creativity
, for your clarity.
So so helpful.
So I love what you said tooabout that, because I tend to
like for next year, I'm like,all right, so I need to schedule
(33:38):
like a few days off after mynext launch, you know, or
something like that, or afterthis big project.
But you're right, that'sframing it as a reward, so I
just need to prioritize my, myown self-care.
Genevieve Skory (33:50):
Yeah, so what was interesting to me was I
learned this a long time ago andI rejected it.
Rejected it was that you needtwo days off in a row to
increase your productivity.
Janice Hostager (34:04):
Good to know,
Genevieve Skory (34:05):
Two days in a row.
So you know, if you have tostart with one, we'll accept
that, but you really do want towork up to two days in a row?
No working, no working, justbeing existing, recharging, you
know, enjoying life, Like therewas that.
(34:29):
I was like wow, wow, I'mmissing out on a lot by being so
, you know, I don't want to sayassertive, but so goal oriented,
Like that was it.
Everything was about the goals.
Janice Hostager (34:45):
Yeah, yeah, that is a hundred percent how
I'm built as well.
It's just like that's what Ithink about when I'm on vacation
.
Genevieve Skory (34:52):
Have me on speed dial.
I can chalk it down, like,Janice.
Go have a beach time withoutyour computer or phone.
It's weird at first because thebrain honestly, what's
happening is your brain issaying this isn't safe.
(35:13):
It's not safe to relax, it'snot safe to be untethered to
your phone.
It's not like I used to have awatch that, you know, buzzed me
off.
I stopped wearing my Applewatch.
Janice Hostager (35:26):
Yep, got one right here.
Yep, well.
And the really interestingthing not interesting, sad,
really is it puts you at theedge of burnout, and if you
burned out then it's pretty hardto get back from that.
Not impossible, of course, butyou really do need some serious
downtime to take care of that.
(35:48):
I had just finished a bigproject a couple weeks ago,
something I've been working onsince December of last year, and
that first week when I did nothave this project to work on, it
was like my whole body was in astate of like, not despair.
(36:09):
It was like my body wanted togo.
My body kept telling me to dothese things.
My head kept saying, no, youcan relax now, you should relax
now, read a book, now, you knowsomething.
And it was like I was notadjusted well because I was so
used to that pace.
It was sort of like when I wasin college and you have finals
(36:29):
week, right, and so you'recramming and you're up all night
and you're eating poorly andyou're not exercising, and
suddenly you're all done withfinals and it's like what do I
do now?
Genevieve Skory (36:45):
Women are good at that, yeah, yeah, we're good
at being and the reason thathappens sorry to interrupt, but
the reason that happens isbecause your brain releases
chemicals in that frenzied statethat you actually become
addicted to, and so it doesn'tfeel normal when it's not
(37:10):
flooded with those chemicals anylonger.
So it's telling you like youbetter hustle, you better hustle
because I need more of thosechemicals, and it's like it's a
total rewiring.
It really is.
It's a total rewiring becauseit does lead to burnout and so
many women and I think it'sparticularly something women are
(37:37):
more prone to because we havemultiple roles.
So we're already like, I'mbeing a mom, I'm being a wife,
(38:24):
I'm being an executive.
Or, I'm being a mom, I'm beinga wife, I'm being an
entrepreneur.
And we're always doing threethings at once.
'Cause I gotta tell you, my momradar, never off.
Like, never off.
I'm always scanning theenvironment for my children.
And what's safe for them, whatthey are doing, what's going on.
So I think we tend to be moreprone to that.
Janice Hostager (38:24):
Yeah, that's absolutely true.
So, moving back a little togoal setting.
Well, it's all good stuff.
Very good stuff.
And it's all integrated andit's all important for sure.
But so you recommend, you know,setting more achievable goals.
Is that kind of what you saidis like, which kind of goes
against the message that we'regetting all the time, which is
aim high, you know, and, and but, and, especially relevant in
marketing, because we like toset goals in marketing.
(38:46):
So how do you, how do you getto that place where you're
saying, okay, well, I was hopingto make you marketing.
So how do you?
How do you get to that placewhere you're saying, okay, well,
I was hoping to make you know10 grand this month, but do you
just say, well, maybe I'll makeseven or what?
How do you get to that point,like, how do you.
.
.
Genevieve Skory (39:01):
Yep And I want to be fair, I think.
I think the way we set goals isvery one-dimensional and I
think a good goal has moredimensions to it.
So if it's, I want to make$10,000 in the month, yeah, you
got to kind of look at like,well, what was last month and
does it really make sense that Ican get there, or am I already
(39:25):
setting myself up for success?
But let's say that it'sreasonable?
You also have to createprogress goals around that
particular goal.
So for me it would be did Ishow up regularly from a leading
(39:45):
position or am I chasing?
So if 90% of your goals is yourand I believe it is is your
psychology and your state, 10%of it are your skills and your
tactics.
How do you measure who you'reshowing up as?
So did I reset at the end ofevery night?
(40:07):
You can measure that.
Actually, it's something youcan choose to do.
I sat down every night and dida debrief with myself of my day.
Great.
I showed up every morning withintention.
Great.
I made X amount of sales calls,if that's part of the equation.
(40:28):
So what is required to get tothat 10,000 and are those things
also being measured?
Those are part of the dimension, because maybe you didn't hit
that number but you can now seea better path to that number
because you're emphasizing theprogress and you're emphasizing
(40:51):
the learning and your focus justshifts a little and that long
term will actually help you getto that $10,000 a month, opposed
to just it's $10,000,.
You know, sink or swim.
Janice Hostager (41:08):
So good, makes me want to put a sticker chart
on my journal or something tojust kind of like keep track of
it.
Because for me that's I don'tknow why it's really motivating
to just be able to tracksomething.
I guess it's a goal setter inme, right?
Genevieve Skory (41:21):
Well, and I am actually working on a
journal, a confidence journal,that starts off with these
things that someone can measureevery day and actually work
through the habit of like,instead of just running, feeling
, stopping, breathing andcreating success in a
(41:42):
sustainable and healthy way.
Janice Hostager (41:46):
Okay.
Well, if somebody is listeningtoday and they realize that they
need to rebuild their internalmonologue, where should they
start?
Genevieve Skory (42:01):
They should start with.
What feeling am I trying toachieve by hitting a particular
goal?
So and I also I'm going to saythis I think a lot of what we
learn is from men in business,and I think that men are wired
very differently than women, andI think what's happened is
(42:24):
there's just been a bit of a lagfor us women where we're like
okay, that worked for like alittle bit like that.
But now I'm ready for impact.
Like, if you actually surveyedmost women, most women, if you
said you can make a lot of moneyor you can make decent money
and create an impact, which ofthose two things would you want?
(42:46):
Most women would say I wouldlike to make decent money and
create an impact.
I want to have time with myfamily, I want to have time with
my friends.
I want to create an impact.
There's a feeling associatedwith success that isn't
typically measured by a number,and men are just driven and
(43:06):
wired differently.
They can do one thing, onething, only focus on that one
thing, and they can do it to theexclusion of everything else,
which is good and bad.
But women, we'remultidimensional.
So somebody and in particularmy audience is women.
I would tell them let's startat the very beginning.
(43:27):
Why does this need to succeedfor you?
What is the feeling of success?
So for me, for example, I valuesecurity Like.
Success to me is security as inI don't have to worry about can
we pay our bills?
I don't have to worry about,you know, is there going to be
(43:48):
food in the fridge?
Like.
I'm looking for security, which, by the way, isn't actually a
great goal.
Because business is anythingbut security.
Janice Hostager (43:59):
It's true.
Actually entrepreneurship, yeah.
Genevieve Skory (44:01):
To be clear, right, but really, what I enjoy
is this feeling of impact.
Like for me it is impact.
I want to know that I'm helpingother women who, like me,
needed something different fortheir lives.
And so I think about like I hadthis happen yesterday.
(44:23):
I was just sitting around and Iwas like, oh, you know, because
we do.
I mean I'd be lying if I saidwe don't all have days where
we're like you know what?
I think it's time to get a job.
Like we all have days wherewe're like I don't know, is this
going to work out.
And I got an email from someonewho said you know, I was
listening to your podcast and Ihave to tell you I was crying
(44:45):
because you accurately summed upwhat I'm experiencing and I
just want to thank you.
And this was a woman, a youngwoman, four kids, husband, who
is, you know, not healthy andshe needs her business to work.
So that drives me.
Like I'm like I don't even careif I make money today.
(45:05):
That's why I work, that's why Ishow up.
So you've got to get reallyclear.
I would tell people, get to apoint where you are very, very
clear that, even if you didn'tmake a sale, what would make you
happy today, and I would telleverybody that needs to be your
driving reason to wake up everyday with authenticity and to
(45:27):
continue going.
So that would be the.
That would be where I wouldtell people to start.
And if you pull most people,Janice, they don't know, they
really don't know, and I thinkthat puts people at risk because
it's like that's your lifeline,that's your fuel, that's the
baseline, that's your energy.
Janice Hostager (45:49):
So good, oh my gosh.
Well, I could talk to you foranother hour, but where can our
listeners connect with you, ordo you have any resources that
could go deeper into resiliencemapping?
Genevieve Skory (46:01):
I I have an imposter syndrome
checklist for people that theycan start with.
So if they connect with me onany of the social media
platforms and mention your and Ican send you a link you can put
in the notes so people can justclick right there and get the
imposter syndrome checklist,which will reset why you're
(46:23):
doing what you're doing and helpyou understand that you're
actually doing the right thingsand how to stay on that path.
But I'm out there as Genevieveunderscore story on Instagram,
on Facebook, and people cancontact me there and, of course,
I have a podcast that peoplecan listen to called Fix this,
(46:45):
Grow Fast.
Janice Hostager (46:46):
So love it, love it.
Thank you so much.
I will put all the links toeverything we talked about today
in the show notes.
Genevieve Skory (46:52):
Thank you for having me.
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