Why They Chose your Competitor Instead of You

In this episode, I unpack why prospects can seem fully on board and still end up buying from someone else. We look at how buyer psychology, emotion, and clarity shape decisions far more than price or credentials, and what that means for how you position and present your offers. If you’ve ever felt confused by “almost yes” conversations, this will help you see what’s really happening.

We also talk through common myths around pricing, value, and competition, and why friction often matters more than features. I share how small shifts in messaging, delivery, and brand perception can make the path to working with you feel easier and more natural. This episode is about helping buyers feel confident saying yes, without pressure or gimmicks.

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Episode Transcript

Janice Hostager (00:04):
I'm Janice Hostager.
After three decades in themarketing business and many
years of being an entrepreneur,I've learned a thing or two
about marketing.
Join me as we talk aboutmarketing, small business, and
life in between.
Welcome to My Weekly Marketing.
Hey there and welcome back toMy Weekly Marketing.

(00:30):
If you have ever found yourselfwatching someone else land the
client that you were wanting tohave, or maybe wondering why the
competitor just got anothersale while you're over here
refreshing your inbox, then Ifeel your pain.
This has happened to me.
And today we're tackling thattopic, but I want to warn you,
it stings a little.

(00:51):
But why do people buy from yourcompetitor and not from you?
First of all, it's so easy totake it personally.
That can put you on a downwardspiral.
You know the one.
You start thinking things like,maybe I'm not cut out for this,
or maybe this is all a bigmistake, and I should go back to
my nine to five.
Well, before you do that,listen to today's episode.

(01:14):
The truth is, it's usually notabout you at all.
It's about perception,positioning, and consumer
psychology.
So in this episode, we're goingto look at what really drives
customer behavior and theirbuying decisions, and how to
identify what your competitorsare doing differently than you
are, and most importantly, howto use those insights to tighten

(01:35):
up your own marketing withoutturning into a copycat.
This is not a comparison trapepisode.
This is about gettingstrategic.
And I have a special gift foryou that you'll want to listen
to the end to know how to get.
So let's dig in.
Okay, here's the deal.
People don't always buy what'sbest.
They buy what feels right.

(01:56):
Emotion comes first, logiccomes second.
We like to think we're makingrational decisions, but most
purchases are about avoidingpain or getting closer to
something that we want.
That means if your offerdoesn't feel like it solves a
problem, they're going to keeplooking.
Or if somebody else's brandingor their messaging or their
story feels easier or faster ormore like them, they're going to

(02:21):
go there, even if your solutionis stronger.
Honestly, that's just humannature.
Now, I did say usually it'ssomething other than you, and I
would stand by that.
However, one thing that I'venoticed is this.
Sometimes when we're doing avideo or going on a podcast or
hopping on a coaching or a salescall, we get a little nervous

(02:42):
and we put on a mask.
I get it.
We are slightly out of ourcomfort zone.
Our heart rate's up.
We want to sound smart andpolished and credible.
So our brain does this thingthat it always does under
pressure.
It reaches for something orsomeone that does this really
well.
And suddenly, instead of justbeing ourselves, we're thinking,

(03:03):
if I can just sound like thisother person, then I'll nail it.
Or if I can channel this otherexpert's confidence or their
tone or their certainty, thenI'll be taken seriously.
I have done this too manytimes.
That's imposter syndromeshowing up in your behavior, not
just in your thoughts.

(03:24):
It's not that you don't knowyour stuff, it's that you're
borrowing somebody else's voicebecause it feels less risky in
the moment.
And sure, that might work for alittle while, but here's the
catch.
People can feel it when you'renot being yourself.
We all have this built-in radarfor authenticity.
And when somebody is slightlyoff, we can sense it, even if we

(03:47):
can't explain why.
Your audience feels it, yourprospects feel it, and your
clients will definitely feel it.
And that's where things quietlybreak down.
Because trust isn't built onperfection, it's built on
presence and authenticity, onrealness.
It's built on sounding human,not a highlight reel of somebody

(04:08):
else.
So when you put on a mask, evena very polished one, it creates
just enough distance to messwith that no-like and trust
factor that your customers needbefore they buy from you.
And they might be thinking,she's smart, but I don't really
feel connected to her.
And that connection is whatturns listeners into leads and

(04:29):
then leads into clients.
So the ironic thing is thatyou're trying to protect your
credibility, but it's usuallystronger when you stop
performing and start showing upas yourself.
You know your stuff, you're agreat person, so let people feel
that.
That's when people lean in andthat's when they start to trust
you.
And that's when selling stopsfeeling so hard.

(04:50):
So the question to ask first ishow can I make my message
connect more clearly?
All right, after that, let'stalk about competitors because
this is where a lot of peopleget tripped up.
When I say competitors, mostbusiness owners immediately
think of that one person whodoes the same thing that they
do.
Same service, same audience,maybe even in the same city.

(05:11):
And yes, those are competitors,but they're only really part of
the picture.
You actually have a coupledifferent types of competitors.
First, you've got directcompetitors, those are the ones
we just talked about, theobvious ones, the people that
who offer the same type ofproduct or service to the same
audience that you serve, like wejust talked about.
If somebody could reasonablychoose them instead of you,

(05:33):
they're a direct competitor.
For example, if you're a lifecoach, another life coach would
be a direct competitor.
But there's more to it, andthis is where it gets
interesting.
You also have indirectcompetitors.
These are the alternatives youraudience might choose instead
of hiring you.
That could be a DIY solutionthat they've been doing for
years, or a template they boughton Etsy, or it could be another

(05:57):
course, or a how-to book, oreven free content.
And sometimes it's even theirprocrastination dressed up as
I'm still thinking about it.
So instead of guessing, askyourself, who else is showing up
where my audience hangs out?
Who are they following, buyingfrom, or mentioning in their

(06:18):
stories?
And what solutions are my idealcustomers trying before they
ever get to me?
You don't need to obsess overthat.
That's not what you need to do.
We don't want you to spiral.
You're just taking a look.
You're just observing.
Because the goal here is not topanic or suddenly reinvent your
entire business model or copywhat your competitors are doing.
That's a horrible idea for alot of reasons.

(06:40):
The goal here is just to getsome perspective.
When you understand who or whatyou're really competing
against, your messaging getsclearer and your positioning
gets stronger and you know whatyou're facing.
Then you can take action andset yourself apart and show how
you're different and better.
This is something we talk a lotabout in my course, Modern
Marketing Mastery.
You really want to take a lookat your competitors because your

(07:03):
ideal customer is going to belooking at your competitors.
And you don't want themcomparing apples to apples.
If you do that, then you startcompeting on price and the
lowest price wins.
Then it's a race to the bottom.
You want to show how you're thebest for them, and that's your
huge advantage.
Okay, so why do people buy fromcompetitors and not you?

(07:24):
This is a question that's hardto ask, but it's also where the
gold is.
Most of the time, it's notbecause you're bad at what you
do, it's because something inyour marketing is maybe fuzzy or
missing or maybe just notreally hitting the mark.
So that could be a few things.
Let's break it down.
The first thing we often lookat is price.

(07:44):
This is the easiest thing toblame, and it's usually the
least accurate.
People don't buy the cheapestoption.
They buy the option that feelsworth it.
If somebody charges more andstill wins the sale, it's
because their offer feels saferor clearer, or maybe it's faster
and definitely moretransformational.

(08:04):
Price is just a number.
Value is emotion plus logic.
You could charge double andstill be the obvious choice if
your message answers questionslike, why is this the smartest
move for me?
What problem does this actuallysolve for me?
What does this save me?
Is it time, stress, mistakes,regret?

(08:25):
And will this make sense for mein the long run?
If your pricing feels like ahurdle, it's usually a clarity
and transformational problem,not a cost problem.
The second component is value.
This is where a lot of peoplefall down.
You know what you offer, butyour audience doesn't yet.
They're not buying features,they're buying what happens

(08:47):
after the sale, thetransformation.
It might be for them, it mightbe a calmer life, or maybe
feeling more energized, moretime, more business, the feeling
of really understanding what todo next.
So if your message stays stuckin, oh, here's what's included,
and I get six calls, or you getfive modules, then they'll

(09:09):
stall.
And when they stall, it'sprobably not good.
But when you show where theyare now, like they may be
frustrated or overwhelmed orguessing, and where they'll be
afterwards may be clear andconfident and in control.
And this one people oftenforget.
If you show them where theywill be in a year, if they don't

(09:30):
buy your product, show them thestakes, then they can see
themselves in it.
People pay for what they canpicture.
It's your job to paint thepicture for them.
Okay, the third reason peoplebuy from others is product
features.
But this one's a little sneaky.
Sometimes the decision comesdown to something really small,
like a guarantee or a bonus, orimplementation help, or just

(09:55):
being really clear about whattheir next steps are.
Not because that feature isrevolutionary, but because it
removes friction and makesthings easier for them.
We live in the days of AI.
It's not going away.
People have all the knowledgethey need right at their
fingertips.
So it's no longer teaching themknowledge.
This it's about sharing yourexperience and your motivation

(10:17):
and community.
These are things that peopleare looking for now.
Your competitor might not bebetter, they might just offer
something that your customerwants that meets a subtle need
that you don't.
A few years ago, I bought anexpensive business coaching
program.
I had looked at many businesscoaching programs, but this one
offered a small thing thatothers didn't have.

(10:40):
It addressed the internalstruggle that entrepreneurs
face, overcoming insecuritiesand doubts that we all face when
putting ourselves out there.
As he says, entrepreneurship isan inside job.
And that nailed it for me.
Was it the cheapest?
Not at all.
Did my hands shake when Ientered my credit card number
online and prayed I wasn't goingto regret it?

(11:01):
Yep.
But that small little featureclenched it for me.
So pay attention to what youraudience complains about.
They might say, I don't havetime, or I've tried this before,
or I'm overwhelmed and I don'tknow if I can do this.
Often the winning offer simplyaddresses those fears more
directly.
Okay, reason number four, brandperception.

(11:24):
People don't just buy what yousell, they buy how it feels to
buy from you.
Is your competitor perceived asmore confident, more
established, or relatable?
Or your customer might thinkit's more for someone like me?
That perception might come fromtheir messaging or their
consistent content, or maybejust a calm authority.

(11:45):
Or maybe just showing up likethey belong there, like they own
the place.
Like I talked about in thebeginning of the episode,
authenticity is a big factor inthis too.
If your customer vibes withyou, that can make a huge
difference.
But if they don't, that mightbe the reason they keep looking.
Your offer can be objectivelystronger, but if theirs looks
clearer or safer or morealigned, then they'll win.

(12:09):
Marketing is a clarity contest.
Okay, now let's talk about thecustomer experience, because
this is where a lot of decisionsusually get made.
People might find you becauseyou're marketing, but they
choose you based on how it feelsto interact with you.
Here's the sneaky part.
Your competitor doesn't have tobe better, just easier, warmer,

(12:30):
or more present.
Have you ever had an experiencewhere you called a business and
they took all day to returnyour call?
Or you reached out to somebodyand they felt kind of cold or
distant?
Little things like that mattermore than we think.
So ask yourself, how fast doyou respond?
How clear is their next step?
Do you feel awkward or do youfeel confident reaching out to

(12:51):
them?
If your response feelsconfusing or slow, or if you
come across as being uncertainyou want to work with them,
people hesitate.
And like I said earlier, whenpeople hesitate, that's where
sales go to die.
So ask yourself, is itpainfully obvious to work with
you or buy from you?
Or do people have to hunt forlinks or forms or the next

(13:15):
steps?
Ask yourself, do I follow up ordo I assume they'll come back
on their own?
Spoiler, because they usuallydon't.
And do people feel seen andsupported before they ever
become a client from me?
This isn't about going over thetop with maybe a like a white
glove service or bending overbackwards with every potential
customer.
It's about reducing frictionand increasing their confidence

(13:38):
at every touch point.
A smooth pre-sale experiencesays, I've got you, this'll be
easy, you're in good hands.
That's what you want to convey.
Now let's peek behind thecurtain a bit at your
competitors' marketingstrategies.
Not to copy, but to understandwhat's actually working for
them.
Your competitors didn't justget lucky.
They're likely doing a fewstrategic things consistently,

(14:01):
even if it doesn't look flashy.
So ask yourself, are theyshowing up in inboxes regularly?
Even short, imperfect emailsbuild familiarity and trust.
Are they telling betterstories?
Are they sharing client winsand lessons learned or behind
the scenes moments, things thatmake him feel more human and
credible?
Are they clearer about theirprocesses or their results

(14:24):
because clarity beats cleverevery time?
Are they more visible than youare?
Are they showing up to do guestpodcast appearances or reaching
out to others to docollaborations?
Or are they specific about whattheir ideal customer is
thinking and feeling andwanting?
Then you want to ask yourself,where are they stronger?
Where are they showing upconsistently?

(14:46):
Where am I invisible or vagueor relying on hope marketing?
You don't need to outmarketthem everywhere.
You just need to pick thestages that matter most right
now and show up with intention.
Like I said, clear beatsclever, consistent beats
perfect, and compelling alwaysbeats loud and in your face.

(15:07):
That's how you win withoutburning yourself out.
Okay, so let's turn theseinsights into some actions.
I'm going to give youpermission to learn from your
competitors without copyingthem.
In fact, that's just smartmarketing.
Here's what I want you to do.
Choose one, two, or threecompetitors to analyze.
Look at their offer, theirmessaging, their content, their

(15:30):
reviews, how visible they are,and then ask yourself, what are
they doing well?
What's working for theiraudience?
Is there a gap that I can fillwith my own voice and my own
approach?
Then tweak your messaging, yourvisuals, or your customer
experience accordingly.
Remember, this isn't aboutchasing, it's about positioning

(15:51):
yourself clearly so your dreamclients recognize that you're
the right fit.
But what's easier than that, Ihave a free competitor analysis
tool that'll help you do this.
It'll help you track their SEO,their advertising, website,
emails, reviews, their content,and their pricing.
I'll put the link to that inthe show notes for today.
So here's the bottom line.

(16:11):
If you're feeling frustratedthat people keep buying from
somebody else, you're not alone.
But instead of spiraling, it'stime to take a deep breath and
get strategic.
People buy from businesses thatmake them feel seen,
understood, and confident, thatcommunicate well and paint a
picture for them.
If your competitor is doingthat more clearly right now, use

(16:31):
it as fuel to refine how youshow up.
You don't have to shout louder,you just have to connect
better.
And if you want help with that,especially figuring out your
messaging, I cover, like I said,all of this inside Modern
Marketing Mastery.
So be sure to check that out.
I'll add the link to the waitlist in the show notes too.
That'll be launching again inabout a month.

(16:53):
So you can find the show notesat myweeklymarketing.com forward
slash 139, or the link shouldbe on the notes section of the
Apple Podcast or Spotify notestoo.
So before I go, I have a hugefavor to ask.
If you want to DM me and let meknow if this content was
helpful, that would be great.
I spend a lot of time and moneymaking content that I want to

(17:15):
be valuable and free for you,but I need to know if it's
really working for you.
So you can just send me a DM atJanice Hostager Marketing on
Instagram.
I would be so happy.
Thank you so much for joiningme today.
I'll see you next time.
Bye for now.