Women of Burbank: Has Badalian Collins, AYSO 254 Regional Commissioner

myBurbank reporter, Ashley Erikson, sits down with Has Badalian-Collins who was born and raised in Burbank and now raises her own family here in the city she grew up in.  

She shares her career path as a prosecutor in Los Angeles and Orange County to being on the general counsel for the LA Police Department. 

Has has a heart of volunteerism and talks about her roles in different organizations including her role as the AYSO Burbank 254 Regional Commissioner for the lat 3 years.  

Has also shares her medical journey through heart surgery, failing valves, and what her kids now call her “bionic heart.”

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
From deep in the Burbank Media District.
It's time for another editionof my Burbank Talks, presented
by the staff of my Burbank.
Now let's see what's on today'sagenda as we join our program.

Speaker 2 (00:13):
Hi, welcome back to another episode of Women of
Burbank.
My name is Ashley Erickson andI have Hospedalian Collins here.
She is a Burbank native and theBurbank AYSO regional
commissioner.
She has a heart forvolunteerism and a heart that
has been on a scary medicaljourney, which we're going to
talk all about today.

(00:33):
But first, welcome.
Thank you for joining us.
Thanks for having me, ashley.
Yeah, so you've been born andraised in Burbank.
Tell me what that's been like,what has been the difference in,
you know, being a child versusnow and that whole thing.

Speaker 1 (00:48):
Yeah, you know, I mean I'll say I don't know that
I remember much about.
I mean I remember growing uphere, but people, you know, I
think our kids all do a projectabout someone who's lived in
Burbank for a long time andthey'll ask like, yeah, like
what was it like 40 years ago?
I'm like I don't reallyremember.
Um, I remember walking to themall, I remember just general

(01:10):
safety of the city, but I don'tlike I couldn't tell you.
When people are like oh, thereused to be a such and such um on
this corner of the street, Iwas like I don't remember that,
so I'm maybe not the best personto ask about that.
Um, I have a really good memoryabout some things, but that I
don't.
I remember there used to be aTony Roma's on San Fernando.
There used to be oh gosh, I'mtrying to remember it was like a

(01:33):
, not a Woolworth's, maybe itwas a Woolworth's like also on
San Fernando.
So I like I remember littlethings like that.

Speaker 2 (01:40):
But, and the AMC wasn't there, the AMC was there.

Speaker 1 (01:44):
It was on.
If it was Palm maybe orsomething like that, that whole
area obviously was different andit was one AMC on that street
and then they kind of redid itand then broke it up into three
and so I remember that.
But I also think I just I mean,I grew up in like the hills of
Burbank.
It's actually technicallyalmost even like Sun Valley,

(02:06):
like our across the streetneighbors in Burbank.
Like by the Cabris, actually farmore of like off of Hollywood
Way, so you couldn't just likewalk out of your house and just
start walking around becauseyou'd have to go down a big hill
.
I do remember walking home fromschool once or twice when my
mom forgot to pick me up or likemaybe she didn't but I didn't

(02:28):
have a phone, yeah, and Iremember like walking up our
hill thinking like this isreally steep, so like you
weren't really walking around,whereas, like my kids right now
could easily walk out of ourhouse and just kind of walk to
the local whatever used to bethe Rite Aid.
Yeah, so it was just givenwhere we lived.
It was not a super walkableplace, so I can't really tell

(02:48):
you honestly, what school didyou go to?
I went to St Francis Xavier inup in the hills of Burbank and
then after that I went to NotreDame High School in Sherman Oaks
and I've been fairly local butfor like a small stint outside
of LA, still in SouthernCalifornia, to go to law school.
But I've been here pretty muchmy whole life.

(03:09):
And then we like actually atsome point my husband and I
lived in Santa Monica and thenwe realized, oh, that's really
far from my parents.

Speaker 2 (03:17):
And we had to Are they still here.

Speaker 1 (03:18):
Yeah, so my dad passed away 15 years ago, but my
mom is still here.
She still lives in the samehouse we grew up in.
Yeah, so that's kind of funny,but you know, so it's like
you're like once you startrealizing like, oh, I might need
to see my parents more often.

Speaker 2 (03:31):
Oh, having kids and needing that extra help, yeah,
exactly.
I was going to ask what broughtyou back, because you left for
law school.
You went to UCLA and San Diegofor schooling.

Speaker 1 (03:39):
Yes, I went to UCLA for undergrad and master's.
I went to UCLA for undergradand master's and then I went to
University of San Diego for lawschool, came back, got married
and my husband and I lived inSanta Monica.
We actually moved back to thearea before having kids I think
just my dad was sick at the time, like I think we.
Just it was a long drive tocome here from Santa Monica to

(03:59):
visit.
So we moved back and we livedin Studio City for a few years.
I mean like three blocksoutside of Burbank, essentially.
So we moved back and we lived inStudio City for a few years I
mean like three blocks outsideof Burbank.
So we were there, we had ourfirst child while we were in
Studio City and we were at atownhouse and then I realized it
was a three story walk up witha subterranean parking up and

(04:24):
you've got a kid in a car seatand you're like I got to walk up
those stairs.
Then I got to walk up thosestairs and I got a car seat and
I have a stroller.
So that lasted for about twoyears and I was like, miles, we
need a one-story house, I wantto be able to pull into my
driveway and just kind of bethere.
So that's really what broughtus back to Burbank.
But that's like I was thinking,hey, we'll get a house like in

(04:45):
the Valley Village area it'skind of where I went to high
school and you know and I waslike I'm not going back to
Burbank.
I grew up in Burbank.
I want something different.
Yeah, you're done oh yeah, I wastotally done.
Something in Burbank bringspeople back.
Well, I was tricked.
That's what I say so our realestate agent at the time was
someone I went to high schoolwith and I had said to him I was
like Mike, you can find me ahouse in this general vicinity,

(05:08):
but it can't be in Burbank.
And he goes, why?
And I was like, because I can'tbe the person who lives in the
city they grew up in or was bornin.
That can't be me.
And he was like OK, fine.
So we went, we looked at abunch of places.
We looked at a bunch of placeslike what is it?
Toluca terrace, like the areajust right next to it, and it
was all just whatever.

(05:30):
And so one day he calls, he goeshey, can you, um, meet me at
this house?
And it was like after work.
And I'm like, okay, well, whereis it?
He's like he's like I'll justsend you the address.
I go, mike, where is it?
He's like I'll just send youthe address.
So he go, mike, where is it?
He's like I'll just send youthe address.
So he sends the address and I'mlike and so we go and it's like

(05:50):
five or 6 PM and this house hasskylights in the living room.
So you walk in and it's likethe beautiful sun setting and
the lights hitting that.

Speaker 2 (05:59):
I know he totally, totally tricked me.

Speaker 1 (06:01):
He tricked me and I walked in and I was like he
totally tricked me.
He tricked me and I walked in.
I was like, okay, so this isthe house and it's two blocks
into Burbank from the edge.
And I was like, oh my gosh, butthat's how we ended up in
Burbank.
I fought it tooth and nail andthen we ended up here and I was
like, oh, this is where I wasmeant to be.

Speaker 2 (06:21):
That is so funny.
I wonder if that's everyoneelse's story.
They try to try to break away.
I know I grew up in Glendale soI didn't get very far.

Speaker 1 (06:32):
You didn't.
You're like I'm like two.
You're like I'm two blocks infrom the other side of Burbank.
Yeah, yeah, so it is.
It is funny it was despite my,my efforts.
And now I'm like why would Iwant to live in Toluca Terrace?
Like that's crazy.
Why do I want City of LA?
You know, services, likeobviously.
But you know, I was young and Ithink I was like no one wants
to be the kid that like stayedhere in their hometown, right
Exactly, and your hometown'sBurbank, yeah.

(06:54):
But you also don't realize like,oh, the schools are great, oh,
the services are.
You don't you're not thinkingthat when you're in your
twenties, I mean now, I tellpeople that I go, don't live
there, move two blocks here.
But yeah, no one's, no 20 yearolds listening to a 40 year old
or a 60 year old, you know.

Speaker 2 (07:11):
but so you know, here we are and then you became a
prosecutor for LA.

Speaker 1 (07:14):
You know, actually I started off as a prosecutor in
Orange County.
Um then, and we were living inSanta Monica at the time, that
was quite a drive, but LA DA'soffice wasn't hiring, so then I
transferred to LA.
Then I had children.
So then I went into privatepractice for a few years and I
was representing cities andschool districts.
So it was always public entity.

(07:34):
You know, representation ofpublic entities.
It was never any Did you dothat raising kids.

Speaker 2 (07:41):
It was hard, it's a big job, big job, yeah, yeah,
it's an exhausting job yeah, Imean, I always joke.

Speaker 1 (07:47):
I had, I've always had very, very good bosses.
But my one boss, uh, when I wasin private practice, who I love
dearly and I still, you know,relatively communicate with him
here and there, I would alwayssay to him I was like, well, the
employee you have now is notwho you would have had before
children like that is a verydifferent employee.
I was like, but I'll get thestuff done in a shorter period

(08:10):
of time because that's what youhave and you just make it work.
And you know, some days I canbe a really really good lawyer
and some days I can be a reallyreally good mom, and there are
very few days where I can doboth at the same time.
So you just kind of pick yourbattles and you pick your days.
And some days, you know, Iluckily have a very helpful and

(08:30):
supportive husband and I'll say,hey, I need you to be on today
Like you're handling, especiallyif I'm in trial, I'll be like
you're handling from 5 am untilmidnight.
You will not see me.
I'll see you on Friday, youknow.
So.
So as long as you have someonelike that who's helpful, and
maybe their job is alsosomething that's conducive to
that right, that works um.

(08:52):
But if you don't have that help, I just don't.

Speaker 2 (08:54):
I don't know how it's possible yeah, and what are you
doing now?
Are you working the same amountof hours and?

Speaker 1 (09:00):
um, yeah, well, so after private practice I went in
house and I worked at the cityof Pasadena.
So that's really what thatmeans.
So instead of having multipleclients, you have one client.
So my client at that timebecame the city of Pasadena, and
at this point I had worked as aprosecutor, so I had sort of
the experience and relationshipswith police and law enforcement

(09:21):
and I had worked for cities andschools and they tend to have
their own police department.
So I just at some point I foundthat I was doing a lot of police
work and employment work, andso when I went in-house to the
city of Pasadena I was like,well, this is what I would
normally do.
I would do the policedepartment and the man who used
to represent police and was likeadvisory to police he happened

(09:45):
to retire literally like the daybefore I started and so I was
hired to be like a generalist,but when I showed up he wasn't
there.
They're like, well, we need apolice person.
I was like, oh, okay, well,that's me.
That's actually exactly what Ido, wow.
So I was kind of fortuitous.

Speaker 2 (10:04):
Yeah, very fortuitous yeah, very fortuitous.

Speaker 1 (10:05):
so, um, I represented pasadena pd for about four
years and then I transferred tocity of los angeles where I did
pretty much the exact same thingfor about another four years,
and then I just kind oftransferred units and I now work
for police general counsel,which is no longer doing like

(10:27):
litigation of police matters,but now we do advisory work for
LAPD.

Speaker 2 (10:32):
You're very busy and you have three kids I do and
then you have so muchvolunteerism under your belt
which I don't understand how youcan do all of these things.
That's the pot calling thekettle black.
Yeah, but I'm working from homein my pajamas and my computer.
You're all over the place.

Speaker 1 (10:52):
Yeah, it's.
You know.
I always say like the time youneed, the time you need is the
time you have, and the time youhave is the time you need.
You just kind of make it work.

Speaker 2 (11:00):
It's really about time management.
It really is.
Everyone has the same amount oftime.
It's just what you use in thosehours.

Speaker 1 (11:18):
Totally, and it's never going to be perfect.
It's not, you know, no matterwhat, especially when you're
talking about volunteerism.
Like my job, my employment, myjob has to be perfect, because
someone's paying me to do thatFor volunteerism, I'm like, well
, this is the best I can do withwhat I have.

Speaker 2 (11:24):
If you don't want, want me, you can pick someone
else.
Yeah, no one will be there.
But and it's always likevolunteering is a team, like
there's always a group of peoplethat pick up the slack when you
can't right.
Like comes to the pta, you'rein the pta, yep, and the main
thing you do is you're theregional commissioner for ayso,
which region 254, which isburbank, right, yep, and you.
How long have you been doingthat?

Speaker 1 (11:41):
so I started um when my oldest was first started
playing soccer at region 254, soit must have been when he was
four, so 2014 you've been on theboard for a long time.
So it's like it's like the storyof every volunteer thing you go
to register your child and theygo we really need volunteers,

(12:02):
can you sign up to do something?
And I was like, okay, well,what do you need?
And they're like, oh, we need.
He's like what, your child'sgoing to be in schoolyard?
Okay, we need a schoolyardcoordinator.
I was like I don't know whatthat means, but, okay, sure,
yeah.
And so then all of a sudden,you start getting all these
emails about board things andthey're like, oh, I'm on a board
.

Speaker 2 (12:20):
This isn't just like I'm a teen parent, you, you know
like, give me my task and letme go.

Speaker 1 (12:24):
No, this is this, and so it was a lot of figure it
out, like what am I supposed todo?
How does this work?
So I started off when he wasabout four.
So it's been 10 years on theboard of like not knowing what I
was doing.
Yeah, and I was the schoolyardcoordinator.
And then of course that childgoes, gets older and now moves

(12:46):
up to like U6.
So then I was the U6coordinator and then he goes
into U8.
And so you're the U8coordinator.
You know so, and it is I meanespecially AYSO they're always
looking for help anyway.
So if you're willing to dosomething, they're like great,
you know we'll take your help,help.

Speaker 2 (13:02):
so yeah, yeah, and the crazy part is that you don't
have a child in ayso anymore.
Not anymore, I do.
You are leading the whole thing.
I am so, and you've beenregional commissioner for three
years this is my third season.

Speaker 1 (13:15):
Third and hopefully last whoever's listening there
will be an opening.
Okay, I'm hoping to pass thison.

Speaker 2 (13:22):
I really need someone to step up yeah, I don't know
how you can do this.
First of all, how did you gofrom these positions to leading
this whole organization?
So I think we got to about.

Speaker 1 (13:35):
I want to say utah and my husband and my husband
and I have always like kind oftag teamed these divisions.

(13:59):
He's on the board too rightspace, so that's what he does
now.
Previously, before this year,before we got a game scheduler,
he was also doing the gameschedule.
So our tasks have changed overa period of time.
And so we got to about U10.
And I remember someone calledme and was like, hey, I really
need.
Oh, the person who was the gamescheduler for a while he left

(14:22):
to go to AYSO in Glendale.
So I was like, oh, and they'relike we really need a game
scheduler.
And I was like I mean, I couldbe the game scheduler.
I guess I mean when someone saysI really need, yes, I'm like
okay, you can't say no.

Speaker 2 (14:36):
I can't say no.
And I was like what my gosh?
My hand is moving up Like no,they will find somebody, I know
they will.

Speaker 1 (14:51):
I've gotten much better, I'd say, in the last
three years.
I've gotten much better beinglike, okay, yeah, so who's it
going to be?
Guys, because it's not going tobe me.
Yeah, you put your time in.
And I feel like it's a littlebit of that.
It's a little bit of realizingthat whatever organization
you're a part of needs new blood.
I can't, you can't, it can't bethe same five people, because
it starts to get stale and theorganization doesn't grow.

(15:12):
So that's helped me realize I'mactually doing the organization
a favor by not jumping in andfilling that spot, but that I'm
there as a backstop.
If you know, things are really,really bad and they need
somebody.
So in that sense I have gottenmuch better.
And my husband does joke andsay if you volunteer for one

(15:33):
more thing and he's just like wewere just recently at this like
choir thing, and someone's likeso, um, so I can, I talk to you
about you know x, y or z?
And he's looking at me and likedon't, don't, do not walk over
there.
And I'm like, oh my gosh.

Speaker 2 (15:47):
Miles, you're horrible.
I said that this year afterbeing PTA president.
I was like I'm saying no toeverything and I did say no.
And then what does keep coming?
They do Luther PTA and I waslike this is my year of no, yeah
it's hard.

Speaker 1 (16:06):
It's hard.
I have a really, really, reallygood friend.
I call her my life wife, butshe, um, she's very similar.
We're like cut from the samecloth and you know she'll, and
I'll see that happening to herand I'm like no, no sarah you
can't do that, you're not sayingyes to that, and she's just
looking at me going like wait aminute.
I was like it's a lot easier totell someone else not to do that
.
Yeah, um, but yeah so, yeah,let's.

(16:28):
So I decided I was like, okay,I'll be the game scheduler.
And then in the middle of that,um, I think the person who was
purchasing so that's the personwho purchases uniforms and every
.
I mean uniforms, balls, allthat kind of stuff.
That person quit, so like wedesperately need a purchaser,
you're taking all of thesepositions in the same year?
Yes, oh my gosh.
There were about maybe threeseasons where I did both of

(16:51):
those at the same time.
Those are not.
That is not a job that oneperson should have.
They should very, veryobviously should be two people.
And we currently have twoseparate people doing it.
And guess what?
They are both busy full time,because those are full-time
positions that should be handledseparately.
So I did that um and then gosh,I guess it was about three

(17:14):
years ago.
Three years ago, aroundThanksgiving actually, we had a.
We had some discord on ourboard.
There was a.
There's a um without gettinginto too much of the
nitty-gritty, because I feellike that could be a podcast
episode on its own that no oneelse besides me would be
interested in, I don't knowPeople love the tea yeah maybe,
but I thought it became clearthat we needed a change.

(17:38):
And you know, and it's like mymom's always taught me, like
don't complain about somethingunless you're willing to jump in
and either offer a solution orfix it.
Yeah, and because I was alwayslike I am not doing that job,
that is not something I want andI've got three kids and there
are, you know, especially as younow know, you know when your
kid's playing soccer, that'syour entire Saturday is gone.

(17:59):
So if you have that, plus thejob of a regional commissioner,
you're never.

Speaker 2 (18:03):
You never leave the field.

Speaker 1 (18:05):
Yes, I never get to see my own kids play, yeah.
So I kept fighting it.
I was like, no, it's not whatI'm gonna do, I'm not gonna do
that.
But then I was like, okay, well, it's not, this will not change
unless we see meaningful change, unless we see a meaningful a
person.
Who's going to take it over,who's not?
And I looked over and I was.
There were plenty of peoplearound that would have been good

(18:25):
at that job, but no one else.
Again, same thing no one elseis stepping up to do it.
That, I thought, would do thejob well.
And that's, I think, my otherflaw, where I look at something
and I go well, that can be donebetter.
And that's not to say therearen't things right now in the
region that cannot be done.
Of course they can right.
It's like it's not my paid job.
I don't get a penny for what Ido.

(18:47):
So, yes, if I was paid to dothis, it could be done way
better, but I certainly thinkthat there were things that
needed to be done better.

Speaker 2 (18:55):
Yeah, you saw some holes and gaps and you wanted to
go in and close them and fixthem, at least like some major
ones.

Speaker 1 (19:01):
It's like I can't fix everything, but there are some
major things.
Especially, I think, we neededto rebuild the trust that we had
with our community, and sothose were kind of the big
things that I wanted to hit, andso I threw my name in, and here
we are three years later.
It is a three-year stint.

Speaker 2 (19:22):
Oh, it is.
It is.

Speaker 1 (19:23):
So while you could be , I think you could be elected
for probably all three right one, a two or three, but at that
particular time I was electedfor three year stint oh, that's
like a big commitment to likejump into yes, and I think in my
head.
I kept saying like well, I canalways just do it for one and
resign if I need to.

Speaker 2 (19:42):
But like that's not me.
So I was like worse comes toworse.

Speaker 1 (19:47):
like this is what I could do, but like if it's like
the worst thing in the world andit hasn't been.
I mean, in reality there's.
It's a lot, a lot, a lot ofwork, but at the same time I
have met so many great people inour board.
You just develop friendshipsand relationships with people
that you wouldn't otherwise.

Speaker 2 (20:08):
That's why I do PTA.
I don't do it for my kids theydon't even know what I'm doing
or what it's for but I just doit for the parents.

Speaker 1 (20:15):
Well, clearly I'm not doing AYSO for my kids, so that
is not so.
You know it's funny.
People do ask that.
They go like why you know, whywould you do this when your kids
are not on it?
I said, you know, I will saysomething.

(20:38):
There is something very niceabout do well, besides just
doing something for thecommunity or whatever, but
because that's very important.
But I know that anytime I makea decision it is not
self-interested whatsoever, like.
There is no way that I can say,you know, I picked this team
versus this team because my kidson that team, like.
I know in my heart of heartsthat every decision I make is a
neutral decision that doesn'thelp me in any way whatsoever or
hurt me in any way whatsoever,like.
And so I'm not bending overbackwards to not help my kids,

(20:59):
but I'm also not doing somethingthat's self-interested to their
benefit.
So in that sense it's beengreat.
I think that there's a truebenefit to having someone like
that in that position, whodoesn't have a kid, who's
involved.
I mean, there's plenty ofregions that have regional
commissioners whose kids havegraduated, moved on, and they're

(21:20):
the regional commissioner andthey haven't had kids on there
for years.
So I think that, that I don'twant to say that's the norm, but
it's certainly a thing.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (21:30):
Well, there's a couple of people on the board
that don't have kids in this.

Speaker 1 (21:32):
Oh yes, but I would say more like as a regional
commissioner to do that I thinkthere are.
So there definitely are, and Iprobably would recommend that,
but at the same time, I thinkthat you certainly could do the
job.
You just have to be very, verymindful of the fact that when

(21:54):
you do have children that are inthe region that you're, that's
going to be looked at verycritically, um.
So you have to be mindful ofthat, and you have to be mindful
of the fact that you have tomake sure that the decisions
you're making are within thebest interest of the community
and the region and not yourself.

Speaker 2 (22:05):
so yeah, so what are you gonna do when you're not?

Speaker 1 (22:11):
there's.
There's not a time in my lifewhere I haven't had a passion
project, so I'm sure I'll dosomething.
Are you in PTA right now.
I am so actually.
So for a while I was PTApresident at Roosevelt.
I just finished up a two-yearPTA president at.

Speaker 2 (22:23):
Dolores Huerta Middle School.
So you were PTA president andregional commissioner
simultaneously Not intentionalregional commissioner,
simultaneously Not intentional.

Speaker 1 (22:29):
I always joke and say it's because no one wanted to
be president of Doris Mills.
Oh yeah, I know.
Yeah.
So I was like yeah, I'm thereluctant president.
I didn't want that job either.
I didn't want this job either.
I don't think anyone reallydoes want that job, Especially
in middle school.
You know it's not like thefunnest time.

Speaker 2 (22:45):
There aren't a ton of fun events you can't really be
on the campus very much.

Speaker 1 (22:49):
No, yeah you're not like planning events or anything
?
No, and the two years that Idid it at roosevelt was 2020
you're the same as me, 2021?

Speaker 2 (22:58):
yes, I was.
I was 1920, 2021, so this itcould have hit during my
presidency.
Yeah, that's why I went backfor one more year, just to like
redeem myself.
Yeah, you needed that full yearI know and I didn't.

Speaker 1 (23:10):
I didn't have that.
I had one full year of us allat home, yeah, and then the
other year where it's like wewere really limited in what we
could do and you know,everything had to be outside.
So there was a lot of stuffthat happened and I and I
totally understand the I want toredeem myself.
I always joke like to whoeveris the president moment go.
Yeah, well, we couldn't do thatthen either.

Speaker 2 (23:30):
I'm sorry you know, but, well, maybe you can redeem
yourself and be president againor something.

Speaker 1 (23:36):
Maybe I'll go back to roosevelt and be president but
remember what I said things getstale.
It's young blood is great.
I think that if you can getsome younger parents who are and
not that I'm saying I'm old,but you know I want them to be
there for a long time.
Yes, yes, I'm, I'm.
My third kid is in fourth grade.
Yeah, he's leaving soon.
I'm.
Always there is a stopgap likehey, you know, like we know,

(23:58):
this is just how we've done it.
Or like this is something foryou to consider.
It's good to have thatinstitutional knowledge.
Who's still at the school andwilling to help?
But really someone else.
It's like.
It's like it's like I say itshouldn't be.
Like you know the Clintons andthe Bushes.

(24:19):
It's like I don't, I don't needthe same four names being
recycled.
Go find someone else.
So, and you know it's in aschool of five, 600 families.
Yeah, you should be able tofind at least a few.

Speaker 2 (24:24):
So you're at elementary middle school and
high school For two years.
How was your drop off going?

Speaker 1 (24:30):
You know, I thought it was going to be worse because
, you know I mean well, luckily,my oldest is taking a zero
period, so that helps a littlebit.
Yes, and then my middle one.
He's walking to a friend'shouse and that the mom, which is
one of our good friends, istaking him to school and
dropping off because thatDolores were to drop.
I mean, as you know, middleschool drop off.

Speaker 2 (24:51):
We're close enough for walking which thank goodness
, because there's no point.
You're blocks away.

Speaker 1 (24:56):
It's horrible and whereas Burroughs has been
pretty good, and maybe becauseit's zero period and there
aren't a million people Even I.

Speaker 2 (25:02):
It took two years to find the spot I needed.
We were trying like this blockfor a while and this block, and
then we found the sweet spot.

Speaker 1 (25:09):
And then you're like, how has no one found this spot.
Yes, Like they're all down thatother way and I'm like don't
tell anybody and don't tell thisis the private spot, but yeah,
I've been able to drop him offwithout an issue.
And then our third he starts at830.
So that's been actually nice.
So I do the Burroughs drop,walk him to school, which I
haven't been able to do forthree years, since we were

(25:30):
remodeling our house and not atour house.
So isn't?

Speaker 2 (25:33):
it like as soon as you get into a routine, though,
like something gets thrown intoit.

Speaker 1 (25:36):
Oh yeah, like just for now.
Things are nice and Iappreciate it.
Right, yeah, totally yeah, soit's been good.

Speaker 2 (25:42):
I can't complain.
You don't have anything on theradar in terms of like what
Anytime you're.

Speaker 1 (25:48):
I think anytime your kids are into something new,
that's always a good place tojust jump in and do something.
I think all of my volunteerismhas always been focused on
something kid related, justbecause they are so much more
pleasant to hang out with.
They are the best part ofanything you do.
They're so appreciative.
They're appreciative, they'refun they're.
You know they don't.
They.
It's like they're.
They're light, they're likelife is lighter.

(26:10):
So they're not coming at youwith a ton of extra baggage, you
know, it just is.
For the most part, there'splenty of kids who've got stuff
going on at home.
But I don't know so my oldest,who just started at Burroughs,
he is in the choir.
So you know there's plenty ofopportunities there, assuming
that's something that I'm readyto jump into.

Speaker 2 (26:28):
We'll see and.

Speaker 1 (26:28):
I kept saying like no , because you've got your
playful.
The AYSO position takes up aton of time, and so I was like,
well, maybe when that's over wecan talk about it.

Speaker 2 (26:38):
Oh requires listening .

Speaker 1 (26:40):
If anyone there, they're waiting in the wings
They've already tried and I andthe other thing I say is like
it's got to be a position thatsuits you and works to your
strengths, right.
Don't take on the task that'sgoing to really task you.
You know, and everyone's strongat different things, you know,
so do the thing that you'rereally good at, and so there's.

(27:02):
There have been some thingsthat have popped up where I'm
just like you don't want me todo that that is not that doesn't
work to my strength, usuallysomething that requires me to be
somewhere all the time.
That's not to my strength.
I have a full-time job, yeah,um, so it's like you got.
I gotta find things where I cando it at night.
I can organize it here, there,whatever it is so exactly I'm a
good delegator.

(27:22):
I can't just sit there yeah, Idon't know that I'm a great
delegator.

Speaker 2 (27:26):
Really, yeah do you want to do it yourself because
you think you can do it better.

Speaker 1 (27:30):
I think it's a little bit of that and it is a little
bit of oh, then A, it's done theway I want it.
And then B I can only blamemyself if I did it correctly.
So that's a problem.
But that's okay as long as Ican do it on my own time.

Speaker 2 (27:44):
You know, I'm routinely up until 2, 3 o'clock
in the morning doing work, sothat's OK, I used to be like
that, and now it's like nineo'clock hits and I'm like, well,
I'm ready to go to bed.
I'm waiting for that.
I'm so tired.
It's going to happen, yeah.

Speaker 1 (27:57):
I'm hoping it hits me in like my 70s, like if I can
have some time, just don't slowdown and then you'll be fine.
That's the hope.
Yeah, so we'll see.
We got that One, but I've got Idon't want to say a little bit
of pushback, but it's just.
Anytime you're talking aboutsomething starting, something
new there's, it's just kind oflike oh, there's just so much.

(28:17):
But I so when I was in collegelaw school, I was part of the
mock trial team at UCLA andUniversity of San Diego and so
even after I graduated from lawschool, like I, or when I was in
law school, I was coaching,helping coach our teams over
there, helping coach the UCLAteam.
We actually started the programat Notre Dame High School,

(28:40):
where I was my alma mater, andwhen I was working in Orange
County, I was coaching one ofthe Catholic schools down there.
So I would love to start aprogram like that at one of our.
I mean, really we should haveone at the middle schools and
the high schools.

Speaker 2 (28:55):
I'm surprised they don't have that.

Speaker 1 (28:56):
I think Burbank High does, but my kids don't go to
Burbank High, so I think we needone at Dolores, huerta or
Luther and or yeah.
And then I think Burroughsneeds to have it, so they have
teen court or something similarto that, but that's very
different.
We really should have it in acity full of performers and
super smart children, like Ithink that this is.

(29:18):
I mean, there are kids there.
So the program, the way itworks, is you have some people
who are witnesses and they'reessentially just acting, and
then you've got people who areattorneys who, like I always
tell people I'm like part ofbeing an attorney is just acting
, like you're just playing apart.
So in a city of actors, weshould have a mock trial program
and we should be really good.
That would be really fun.

(29:40):
Maybe when I finish this stintyeah, someone takes over,
that'll be the thing.
Um and my, I don't think my kidis interested in it at all, so
that'll be another.

Speaker 2 (29:48):
So funny that like my kid like wants nothing to do
with school, like all his stuffis after school.
Yeah, and I'm like working theconcession stands at the
football game like doing thesethings and I'm just like all
alone my kids are nowhere to befound.

Speaker 1 (29:58):
I know it's that's kind of how it goes and I don't
know that any of my kids wouldbe interested in and I was like,
yeah, I really, but you'reinterested in it.

Speaker 2 (30:04):
oh yeah, you're gonna touch people's lives that are
interested in, and that's thewhole point right.

Speaker 1 (30:08):
I can't even tell you like this is how you know you
feel old.
So kids that I coached, whowere freshmen, sophomore juniors
and seniors at Notre Dame HighSchool you know I'm we're on.
You know friends on Instagramnow and I looked at them.
I go, oh, you're pregnant, oh,okay, oh, yeah, yeah, that was a
long time ago that I coachedyou.
You are now having your ownchild.
Like this is a little freaky,that's so funny.

(30:30):
So, yeah, it's you definitely.
And then they'll reach out andthey'll say like, hey, you know,
can I have a recommendationletter for law school or for
this job?
And I'm always like, can I justtalk you out of it?
Like maybe you need an easierjob.
This is not an easy job, youknow.

(30:52):
Like, go do something that'slike you know it takes up a
little less time, a little lessstress.
Yeah, no one.
They never listen to me, never,never.
I've never been able to talk.
Everyone has to learn the hardway in life.
That's how it is.
I'll just say I've never beenable to talk someone out of law
school.
And then they go to law schooland I go you're a lawyer, that's
so great for you.
Call me in a few years and we'llcry together exactly when you
have your first kid and you'relike, oh, this is harder than I

(31:12):
thought.
So, yes, you do end up, yeah,like touching a lot of kids'
lives and they don't forget you.
I mean, I've received so manyrants and they'll always be like
I don't know if you remember me.
I was like of course I rememberyou.
What do you mean if I rememberyou?
Like, of course I remember you.

Speaker 2 (31:29):
But it's just little, tiny moments that impact people
.
Yeah, it's a whole life.
A good teacher, yes, can changeeverything, and a bad teacher
can change everything.
Yes, I took a journalism classat PCC and like failed it.
I was like she was so mean.

Speaker 1 (31:43):
I was like I'm never doing this ever again.

Speaker 2 (31:45):
I'm sorry I went into biology.
Obviously that didn't workeither I had that workout and I
was like I can't be a biologistand a mom.
I don't want to do that yeah.

Speaker 1 (31:55):
I was thinking.
I was like I don't think shedoes anything in biology right
now.
So then I went back to English.
Yeah, no, I get it, and I don'tknow that a bad teacher would
have pushed me away from what Iwanted to do.
But I also don't think that Iended up doing exactly what.
I don't even know what I wantedto do.

Speaker 2 (32:10):
So I still don't even know what I want to do.
I'm like I wonder what I'mgoing to be in a few years.

Speaker 1 (32:15):
Yeah, I have no idea when I grow up.

Speaker 2 (32:17):
Yes, you never know, you can be many things in your
life.

Speaker 1 (32:21):
I hope so.
You know, when you see like Idon't know, like a Facebook
thing or an Instagram thing thatsays like so-and-so started
running at 45 and now they wonthe marathon, you're like wow,
yeah, that's amazing hope for usall that's amazing, but people
coming actors like in their 60s,you know yeah, my husband's
like former roommate, like whenthey were in their 20s, decided

(32:44):
to take up like painting in hisI guess he must not have been
that old at the time, but maybelike in his 30s, like had never
painted before and just I don'tknow what it was like old at the
time, but maybe like in his 30s, like had never painted before
and just I don't know what itwas like.
He just decided and now he'slike doing paintings and selling
them and commissioning, so he'san artist.
Like that's literally what hedoes now and I'm thinking, isn't
that weird, how a thing?

(33:04):
An activity that you had nevercrossed your mind and you may
never do it.
And that's what you're intendedto do.

Speaker 2 (33:11):
Yeah, and you don't discover it, but, like
everything needed to lead up, tobuild you into that person, you
were in that moment.
You know that's the hope, orwhat, if you like?

Speaker 1 (33:18):
just never picked up that paintbrush True.

Speaker 2 (33:20):
Well, it's fate you would Do.
You think so, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (33:25):
I'm thinking I'm supposed to be some like.

Speaker 2 (33:26):
You have to try everything to see if you're good
at it.

Speaker 1 (33:29):
That's a lot of things to try.

Speaker 2 (33:30):
Ashley, yeah, I just tried line dancing.
You should come line dancing.
That's been fun.
Oh, I like line dancing.
Oh, my gosh, it's my newfavorite thing in the world.

Speaker 1 (33:36):
You know, we actually learned line dancing in
elementary school at St FrancisXavier, really, yeah, and I'm
trying to remember why For PE Ibut you know I also I'm old
enough that we had art and musicand dance at school, so it may
have been a dance class atschool.
Yeah, because I distinctlyremember having things that,

(34:00):
like I was like I just assumedit was part of it.

Speaker 2 (34:02):
Like I was in a choir in elementary, it was choir
part of it, yeah, and we hadinstruments and we had a drill
team.
I was at Markeppel, which isnow a magnet school, but it
wasn't a magnet school then andwe just you just joined the
programs and it would be likezero period, almost You'd go
before school, oh yours wasbefore.

Speaker 1 (34:16):
Ours was during the school day.
Oh, ours was always before orafter.
Yeah, I'm trying to.
I think after was likecheerleading and volleyball
being in the middle of theschool day and dance being in
the middle of the school day andit was great because then the
boys had to do it because it waspart of your class, and so then
they're just like weird andawkward and don't want to dance

(34:37):
and you're like this is great,this is so fun.

Speaker 2 (34:40):
Well, I want to talk a little bit about your heart.
We talked about your heart ofvolunteerism, but you have had
some really scary issues whenyou were pregnant.
Yes, tell me what happened?

Speaker 1 (34:52):
Oh boy, so, going back probably.
So what was that 14, 14 yearsago?
So I was no, I'm sorry.
15 years ago, because I waspregnant with my first, I
started having it was reallybizarre like just a really bad
headache and fever and I waslike shaking and at this point I

(35:16):
was, I'll say this, 20 weekspregnant and you just assume
it's pregnancy stuff.
Well, I didn't assume it waspregnancy stuff, but I'm very,
very good at saying like thisisn't normal.
We're going to the hospital,like there's, I don't sit around
and wait, like that is not mything at all.
So I made my husband take me inand they were like, oh, it's

(35:37):
just the flu.
Did you go to St Joe's?
No, I went to Kaiser it'sKaiser Sunset.
And they're like no, it's justthe flu.
And I was like I've never hadthe flu before, never, not once,
really Never.
I know, isn't that weird?
I get a cold once or twice ayear, but I have never had the
flu Exactly.
And they're like, well, youthink I have the flu.

(35:59):
But so they sent me home.
And then I went back again likethe next day and I was like,
yeah, things aren't better.
Yeah, I don't.
I don't know what to tell you.
They're like, well, and I thinkat that point maybe they took
some blood or, you know, didsome cultures and then they sent
me back home and then the nextso this is now like two days in,

(36:22):
my fever is still up and I'mthinking like this isn't right,
like this is not normal.
So I went in and I was like Iam not leaving until you figure
out what's wrong with me Goodfor you.
And I'm like crying just out ofpain, like my head hurts so
badly.
And Miles and I always jokeabout this because, like at that
point one of the nurses sees meand she's just like, um, oh

(36:42):
honey, let's go, let's go getsome apple juice.
And so now we always joke aboutthat.
When there's something major, Ithink let's, let's go get some
apple juice.
It is so, it's, it's.
It's funny now it was not atthat time, but it's gonna get
some apple juice.
So she, she, we go in and youknow they they do end up because
now they're worried meningitis.

(37:02):
And I'm like, why weren't youworried about meningitis two
days ago?
I could be dead by now, youknow.
So they end up doing a spinaltap, they do this, that and then
, whatever, they eventuallyfigure out that I had a very

(37:24):
rare case of endocarditis, whichis essentially an infection of
your well, I guess it could bean infection of anything, but
for me it was an infection of myheart valve.
I don't even think that is apossible thing.
It is not a thing most peopleknow and they would always go
like endocarditis, like anyonewho'd walk in.
They'd be like endocarditis.
And then I eventually figuredout why they'd give me that.
Look, because it's oftensomething that you get when
you're an IV drug user from likedirty needles, because you're
getting infection into yourbloodstream.

(37:46):
And so eventually I figured itout.
I was like, so they'd sayendocarditis and I'd be like I'm
not a IV drug user, like, andthey'd come over and they'd like
start looking.
Yes, yes, because it is not acommon thing.
So they figure out.
So it's like the heart valve.
It's like it opens and closesand opens and closes and
essentially you know you wantyour heart valve.

(38:07):
This is all explained to me inlayman's terms, so anyone who's
listening, if I'm explaining itincorrectly, I'm sorry.
I'm a lawyer, not a doctor, butyou kind of want it to close
like a door, like flat upagainst the frame.
So when you have what's calledmitral valve prolapse, the valve
either closes like this or likethis, where it's like not fully

(38:27):
flat and flush with what itshould be, and when that happens
it is more susceptible togetting infected.
And at the time I was pregnant,so your immune system is lower
and potentially there was aninfection in my body somehow and
so it goes down yourbloodstream and then it gets
infected and usually your bodyfights the infection and it goes
away.
This was to the point where itwas so infected that your body's

(38:51):
not able to fight it, so it'sjust very infected and so they
go.
Okay, so we're going to put youknow, we're gonna put you in IV
antibiotics and you should beokay and you should be able to
leave in 10 days.
Okay, so we're there for 10days.
Wow, well, we're there for 10days and on the 10th day they go
.
Oh, no, 10th day we're thereand they put in what's called a

(39:12):
PICC line, which is like a linethat goes in, so when we go home
they can send us home withantibiotics and it'll go
directly into the bloodstream.
And while they're doing that,all of a sudden, like the left
side of my body goes numb oh mygosh.
And so what we did learn is theheadaches that I was having and
the fever that I was havingwere all little mini strokes,

(39:36):
because the infection like everytime your valve opens and
closes, it's just like going,like this, and so it's like
spewing infection that goes toyour brain.
So that's what the headacheswere and that's what was causing
the fever and stuff.
So what they learned at thatday, when the left side of my
body went completely numb, isthat one of those emboli so
that's what they call.
It was big and large enoughenough that it went to my brain

(39:59):
and it paralyzed the left sideof my body.
So then they're like okay,clearly the IV antibiotics is
not working, so we have to go in.
Um, and so, within so that day,they determined they're going to
go in.
You're pregnant, oh, I'mpregnant.
This is the this is the truecomplicating issue.
Um, so they decide within, yeah, within 24 hours, we need to go

(40:21):
in and we need to either cleanout the like, get the infection
off of it, or give you a newvalve.
And it has to happen now andyou know.
So it's just a lot that'shappening.
And, by the way, you'repregnant, oh, and, by the way,
part of the surgery is stoppingyour heart, oh, my god.
And you've got a baby inside ofyou.

(40:41):
And so how many months were you?
I was when I went in.

Speaker 2 (40:45):
I was 20 weeks, oh yeah, so it's not like you can
like do an early, you know, ohmy gosh, it's all funny.

Speaker 1 (40:52):
You say those things because it was.
By the time I had the surgery Iwas 23 weeks and five days, wow
.
And so it was.
And they said.
They said, well, there's, youknow, about a 50 percent chance
the baby survives, and so youknow, just, I mean, they're just
giving you facts.
So it's like OK because they'regoing to have to stop the heart

(41:13):
but they're going to have tomonitor the baby.
So all this stuff.
So anyway, long story short,have surgery, they are able to
replace it and they don't reallydo.
I mean they don't stop yourheart and have surgery.
They are able to replace it andthey don't really do.
I mean they don't stop yourheart and have surgery when
you're pregnant.
For the most, part right likethat's not something you want to
do to a patient.
Usually you'll say have thebaby come back, but this is not,
not an option.

(41:33):
Time crunch yeah right, so itwas.
Um, I mean I'm incredibly lucky, like I had a friend who's an
anesthesiologist in san diegowho was reaching to like he had
done like a fellowship inHarvard for anesthesiologists.
He's calling his friend at youknow Harvard, like hey, how do
we deal with this with apregnant baby?
You know pregnant baby orpregnant child with the baby,
and we're going to have to stopthe heart and you have to go on

(41:54):
bypass and you know all thisstuff.
So I mean it was a lot ofpeople working on one person and
so you're very, very thankfulfor just the time and attention
and care that people give to you.
But he survived oh, that'samazing, he totally survived.
Did he go full term?
Well, he did go full.
So we had the surgery 23 weeksand five days and I'll never

(42:18):
forget my maternal fetalmedicine doctor at the time.
So you know I had graduatedfrom having a regular OB to like
someone who does high riskpregnancies because they're like
oh, this is not going to be anormal pregnancy.
So he came in and he's likewell, you know, we sort of lost
track of the baby's heartbeatfor about 10 minutes of that.
And he's like so you know oneof two things either the baby

(42:43):
just didn't have oxygen for thatperiod of time and maybe there
are some issues because, ormaybe we just can find his
heartbeat.
You know that happens and we'relike OK, so like what does that
mean?
He's like well, I wouldnormally just have you come back
in a week and just make surethe brain is growing at the rate
we expect it to.
You know, if you're 24 weeks,the brain is this big and if

(43:04):
you're 25, it's grown more.
So that's what we wouldnormally do he's like.
But you're 23 weeks and fivedays.
You cannot come back in oneweek and make a different
decision.
So you have 48 hours to make adecision.
So it was.
And of course, I'm straight outof cardiac surgery, I'm under
anesthesia and I'm looking at myhusband going.

Speaker 2 (43:22):
I'm straight out of cardiac surgery.

Speaker 1 (43:23):
I'm under anesthesia and I'm looking at my husband
going I can't make this decision, you're just going to have to
decide Wow.
So we call him our miracle baby.
So he, obviously.
We chose to keep the pregnancy.
He did go full term and cameout healthy and came out.
And of course so after, aftersurgery, I still came home with

(43:43):
a PICC line, I still had a tonof antibiotics, yeah, and so my
mom's like this baby's gonna belike who knows, radioactive I
don't know that's amazing andit's so fun.
So that's what's funny to me nowis when people are like, oh, I
don't think I can take Tylenolduring pregnancy.
I go, let me tell you what youcan do during pregnancy and

(44:04):
you'll be fine.
I mean, like the number of MRIsI had, the number of the number
of x-rays, cts, I mean, youname it, you do.
But I'm like he's fine, you'llbe fine, you know.
So he came out 10 fingers, 10toes, but my mom was very
concerned.
And I was like 10 fingers, 10toes, but my mom was very
concerned and I was like we'rein America, It'll be fine.

(44:28):
But the funny story is he thefirst you know when they, when
they pee.

Speaker 2 (44:33):
For the first time he peed and I was like oh my gosh,
I can smell the antibioticsLike oh wow, and I mean and at
that point it had been monthssince my last dose of antibiotic
.

Speaker 1 (44:41):
But when he peed I was like, oh yeah, that is very
much the smell of antibiotics.
So that kid, who knows, he gotlike a million doses of
antibiotics.
Maybe he's just going to beimmune to everything, he's just
going to be strong.
And now he's like a toothpick,he's like 100 pounds, but yeah,
so it was really funny.
And then you had anothersurgery just recently.
So they replaced that, so theycouldn that and they put, so

(45:02):
they couldn't repair it, so theycouldn't like clean it out and
just leave it the way that itwas.
They re, they replaced it andthey replaced it with a pig
valve.
It's a tissue valve, they callit.
And the reason they decidedthat was the cardiologist was
like, look, if this is mydaughter and you're gonna have
more children, you need to be ona tissue valve because then you
don't have to take bloodthinners, like you don't have to

(45:23):
take Coumadin.
And he's like, as soon as yougo to a mechanical, you're going
to have to take Coumadin.
So we went with the tissue valveand the downside for a tissue
valve is that it has a limitedlifetime.
So we always knew, like.
He said it's like a 12 to 15year.
He's like that's the lifespan.
He's like, but you're young,and he might have even said 15

(45:46):
to 20.
I don't remember.
He's like, but you're young.
He's like, so that's going tobe even shorter.
You're running around more,you're having babies.
It's taxing on your body, soit's not going to be you're 15
to 20.
It's going to be your 10 to 12whatever.
So in my brain it was 10, itwas going to be 10 to 12 years.

(46:07):
So my son turned 13 and youknow, I've been going in for
checkups and my cardiologist islike it looks as good as the day
we put it in, like, and so I'mlike, oh, this is great,
fabulous, you know, and I go domy checkups and everything, and,
uh, not a real issue.
And then all of a sudden, likeit's been, I think at that point
like 13 and a half years andI'm just limits, yeah, but like,

(46:30):
yeah, you know, just two monthsbefore I was totally fine,
crazy, I know, that's what's,that's what's your checkup was
fine.
And then something happened.
Checkup was totally fine, andthen I'm sitting at a deposition
at work where you know it'slike a room, there's a court
reporter, there's my client,there's me, there's opposing
counsel and they're askingquestions.
And you know I had walked overthere and on the walk over I was

(46:51):
kind of like you know, I'm alittle like short of breath,
like this is a little weird.
It was September and I was likeit's a little hot.
Just because it's hot, I don'tthink anything of it.
But then in the middle of thedeposition I start getting a
headache and I'm like, oh, youknow I didn't have coffee, like
maybe I just need to get somecoffee.
I walk over to get coffee andI'm like short of breath, like
this is really bizarre, and butI was like I just need to get

(47:14):
through this, like I had taken awhile to schedule this thing
and I was like I just need toget, I need to get this poor man
away from this and be done,because it's a stressful texting
thing.
He doesn't need to come back,um.
And so during the course ofthat I could just feel that it
was harder and harder for me toget a sentence out like I had to

(47:35):
keep like whatever I wastalking.
I had to keep it to like threewords yeah, um, which I guess is
great for the other side, butfor me I was like wait a minute,
um.
And so we, we wrapped up andthen I looked at our you know,
my client.
I was like I need you to driveme to my car.
And he's like what?
And I said, and I need you tohold this, and it was like the

(47:57):
computer in my file and itwasn't very heavy.
And he's looking at me.
He goes are you okay?
And I go uh, I'm not okay.
Yeah, but I'm going to thehospital and we're in downtown,
la.
He goes why don't I just call anambulance?
I said, because then they'regoing to take me to good
samaritan and I don't want to bea good samaritan.
I want to be at kaiser sunset,which is like the number one
preeminent, you know, like heartsurgery center of.

(48:19):
And I didn't know that's whatwas going on.
I was like but all my files arethere.
Yeah, I mean, if they just pullup my medical record number,
it's all there.
So, anyway, so he drives me tomy car and he's like are you
okay?
And I was like I have to beokay.
So you know and I, you droveyourself there.
I did I totally drove myselfand I don't know that.
I would recommend that.
Actually the drive there wasfine because I was sitting and
not talking.

(48:40):
Um, it was and the things youdon't think about like it was
the walk from my car to thefront of urgent care where I was
.
Like that took me oh, that tookme like 10 minutes or otherwise
would have been like a oneminute walk, but I was just like
taking really small steps and Igot there and I was in.
I mean it was cardiac failure,Like it was just my blood

(49:03):
pressure was through the roof.
I haven't seen that two monthsdifference.
Oh yeah, that's crazy, and Ithink, from what I understand,
that it's like it's a tissuevalve, right, so it's like it's
almost like a, like a, like arose, like a leaf or something
like that, where it's just likeit just tore, like it's just one
moment, one moment, yeah, poor,like it's just one moment, just
one moment, yeah.
And I think just after a while,maybe, just from the

(49:23):
environment inside, your bodyjust wears thin and then it
tears.
So, um, and you just got, nowyou've got fluids that are just
rushing into places thatshouldn't be there.
So my, you know, my lungs arefilling with fluid and they did
emergency surgery, or do youplan it?

Speaker 2 (49:37):
oh why would it be that simple, ashley?

Speaker 1 (49:39):
nothing in my life is that simple.
At least you weren't pregnantthis time, I know, and let me
tell you, huge difference, hugedifference.
Yeah, um, I mean, now you havethe issue of I have three
children.
You can't mess up, you know.
Yeah, there's a lot at stakeright now, whereas before I was
like I have no children, like Imean I guess my husband won't
have a wife, but you know it's alittle different.

(50:01):
Um, but yeah, so they tried towait to get me stable, because
obviously emergency cardiacsurgery is not what you want.
Yeah, so they waited to get mestable, and then I like wanted a
particular surgeon, and thenthey were like waiting to see if
they could fit me in with hisschedule, but he was leaving on
vacation.
So eventually we were able toland on a surgeon leaving on

(50:24):
vacation.
So eventually we were able toland on a surgeon.
And it was right around thetime that actually it was the
time where Kaiser was havingtheir nurse.
It wasn't the nurse strike, itwas the whatever strike.
I think it wasn't like the mainnurses, but it was like
phlebotomists, food services, itwas like everything but nurses,
the hospital was affected ohyeah, oh, it was super affected.
So he snuck me in, essentiallylike oh, our staff and stuff

(50:46):
snuck me in to get the surgery,but like the next day there was
a strike that was happening andsorry, I may say, nothing is
ever simple.

Speaker 2 (50:54):
Because it wasn't during COVID too.
It wasn't during COVID, yes.

Speaker 1 (50:57):
There was lots of silver linings.

Speaker 2 (50:58):
Yeah, that's credible , yeah.
So then now of course.

Speaker 1 (51:01):
Now they had to go.
They didn't have to, but it wasrecommended that they do a
mechanical valve now.
So now I've got a mechanicalvalve.
Does that last longer?
Allegedly, okay, allegedly,it's a lifetime.
Okay, allegedly.

Speaker 2 (51:18):
You know, it's actually what Arnold
Schwarzenegger has and has had afew times and I was like, well,
if you had to have it a fewtimes exactly.

Speaker 1 (51:24):
So my uncle, who's a cardiologist, who you know you
can always trust that the manwill give it to you straight.
Yeah, I said, well, at least Idon't have to have surgery again
, like I got had it when I wasyoung, you know, and he looks at
me he goes lifetime.
He's like maybe the lifetime ofa 70 year old, but like you're
40 girl.
And I was like, yeah, you'reprobably girl.
And I was like, yeah, you'reprobably right, he goes.
Yeah, I don't know that thishas been tested on a 40-year-old

(51:45):
.
Wow, he's like I'm seeing like20, 25 years.

Speaker 2 (51:49):
I was like, okay, maybe I'll still be young and
it's scary because you've had itchecked every year and you're
just waiting for the symptoms,possibly Totally.
You really have to be in tunewith your body, yes, and have a
plan.

Speaker 1 (52:01):
And or at least just know that I'm not going home to
go lay down on the couch when Idon't feel well.
It's a like get yourself to ahospital.

Speaker 2 (52:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (52:11):
And if they tell me, hey, silly girl, it's because
you have COVID or pneumonia,then oh well, Then I have.
And it's funny, like as I wassitting there in the deposition
I was texting with my husband tosay like, hey, I won't be able
to do school pickup, so can youlike arrange for after school
care?
He goes why, what's wrong?
And I said I don't know.
I said I either have COVID orpneumonia.
And he's like, okay, he goes,so what are you going to do?

(52:34):
I was like, well, I'm going togo to the hospital.
And he was like, yeah, I'mgoing to the hospital.
And he's like, okay, so yeah, Idon't mess around with things
like that.

Speaker 2 (52:47):
Does it worry you when you like leave town?

Speaker 1 (52:50):
Well, it didn't before I never did.
But now I'm like, yeah, it is a.
What if I was in Europe?
What?

Speaker 2 (53:04):
if I was in.

Speaker 1 (53:05):
Mexico.
What if I was?
I mean because it wasn't likesomething you could wait, no,
and you can flying with that.
I mean no, there's no way.
There's no way.
There is no way.
I mean, once they got me stableit would have had surgery in

(53:28):
mexico.

Speaker 2 (53:28):
That would be insane.

Speaker 1 (53:29):
Yeah, and then pulling all your records that no
, I mean, I was sitting herevery carefully trying to pick
what from one of thesepreeminent american surgeons and
you, you wouldn't have that youknow in Mexico, I'd be like.
I have no idea what you'retalking about.
Who are these people?

Speaker 2 (53:45):
Yeah, so yeah.

Speaker 1 (53:47):
So it is one of those things where you're like so now
, what?
Like do I not ever go?

Speaker 2 (53:52):
to Mexico.
Are you like living just everyday at a time?
Are you trying to plan aheadfor?

Speaker 1 (53:58):
things I try not to do.
I mean, I feel like that's likeone of those things where, if
you do live like that, you'reprobably putting yourself in a
very fearful situation, andthat's that can't be positive,
you know, not good for yourheart, either it's not.
It's not good for your mentalhealth, it's not good for.
So I'm like, yes, that was,that was a big deal and I need
to recognize that that's apossibility and an issue and I

(54:19):
need to be mindful of that forif something happens, but I
can't let that run my lifebecause there's, I mean, it
would ruin my life and it wouldruin my kids lives and it would
ruin my husband's life and I'mlike, and I'd like they didn't
sign up for that you know, andthat's not.

Speaker 2 (54:33):
That's not what I want, so you ever think that you
try to stay busy to keep yourmind off things?
No, because I feel like whenI'm static, I think too much and
I think and then it starts whenare you static?
That's why, because when I saylike when, if I don't have
things to do, I start to likespiral in my head you worry

(54:54):
about things, I worry, I'm not aworrier.

Speaker 1 (54:56):
Well, that's good.
I am not a warrior, I justassume that it's going to.
I always say this I'm like it'sgoing to be fine.
Yeah, like it's.
You know, miles always makesfun of me because when our
second was born he was blue,like first of all.
He came out we didn't even knowwhat we were having, because it
was a surprise.
And so he's the baby's born.
And then I'm just sitting heregoing, like is someone going to

(55:25):
tell me if it's a boy or a girl?
I was like, what's the baby?
And my house is like hold on,the baby's blue.
And I said, oh god, I, Iliterally said, I said we're in
america, the baby will be fine.
Yeah, is it a boy or a girl?
Oh my god.
And he just looks at me and hegoes it's a boy, so it's, and I,
so I say that all the time I goit'll be fine.
Yeah, everything's always fineit is just yeah.

Speaker 2 (55:43):
And sometimes, when things's always fine, it is Just
yeah.
And sometimes, when thingsaren't fine now, they're
redeemed and they're fine laterand you're like OK, I see why I
went through that or why thathappened.

Speaker 1 (55:50):
And totally, and we can always justify things even
if it's not.
But so I don't know.
I try not to, I try not to.
And now you have a bionic heart.
Right, I have a bionic heart.
They do.
We always joke.
Well, my youngest will say thisHe'll be like, especially when
I'm putting him down to sleepand it's quiet, yeah, it's like
I can hear your heart.

(56:11):
What?

Speaker 2 (56:12):
does it sound like?

Speaker 1 (56:13):
It's clicking.
I bet if we stopped talking itclicks.

Speaker 2 (56:16):
Like every so often, or just as it beats as it beats.
As every beat.

Speaker 1 (56:24):
I'm trying to see if I can hear it as I'm sitting
here.
Sometimes, like, I can hear itreally really loudly, and other
times it's there but I can'thear it as well, and when I'm
busy I can't hear it at all.
If he like lays his head onyour chest.
You probably hear it prettywell.
Oh yeah, if I'm laying down andnothing's happening, I can hear
it.

Speaker 2 (56:47):
That's kind of cool.

Speaker 1 (56:48):
But you kind of know, like it's working, things are
moving in there.
I mean it's not a pacemaker butyes, I guess it is opening and
closing, yeah, like doingsomething but I feel like I
would know it's not workingbefore I realized it wasn't
right I couldn't hear it.
Um, yeah, it's.
And now sometimes he says itand I'm like I don't think
that's what that sound was, butit's just cute, and I think it's
like he's the first person tohave heard it.
Yeah, so I think he's like oh,that's my thing.

(57:11):
I can hear your heart and I waslike it's like everyone else's
thing if they're sitting near me, but it's, it's funny so yeah,
like I have a little scar and Ihave to keep it covered from the
sun just so it's not horrible.
But yeah, I was definitely theyoungest person in that ward by
about 30 years.

Speaker 2 (57:28):
Yeah, I was going to say usually hard things don't
happen to people your age.

Speaker 1 (57:32):
No, and the nurses were funny.
They were just like, oh.
I said, oh, you know, this isreally hard, you know recovery,
like getting out of bed andeverything, and I go go, I can't
imagine doing this at 70.
Yeah, and the nurse said to megoes, you know, the 70 year old
will get out of here before youdo.
And I was like what?
And she said, yeah, um, they're.
I think their nerve endingsaren't as you know, they're,

(57:54):
they're not as sensitive because, so they don't feel pain really
nearly as much as you do.
I was like, oh, she goes, shegoes.
Yeah, it's just something aboutlike they have other issues
right, like bones healing andall this sort of stuff.
The feeling of pain is not as.
Yeah, and he's like, and that'susually what's preventing you

(58:14):
from making certain movementsand and stuff like that.
So I was like, oh, and sureenough, I was supposed they're
like oh, yeah, you should be outof here in like seven to 10
days.
And of course, I was there for14.
Yeah, you know, I mean I wasthere total 22 days, but 14
after surgery.
And and and what she?
One day she came up she was the70 year old left.

(58:36):
You're here alone.
Yeah, ok, cool, that's great.
Oh my God, when I do this again, it'll be faster.

Speaker 2 (58:43):
I don't know.
That's great.
Well, thank you for sharingthis story.
I mean, it's incredible.

Speaker 1 (58:47):
I mean it's definitely not.
Yeah, I think people are like,oh, like, are you okay if I tell
people I'm like, yeah, I waslike, but really listen to your
body, you know.
If it's somewhat, if you thinkit's COVID or pneumonia, maybe

(59:07):
it's heart failure, you know.
So perhaps you should go to thehospital and maybe you go and
they say like you're being ahypochondriac and you go okay.

Speaker 2 (59:15):
Yeah, I have like frequent flyer miles.
I love going to the doctor.
I have an appointment at 4.30today.

Speaker 1 (59:21):
See, there you go.
Got to make sure you get out ofit.
Just make sure I'm okay, please.
Exactly, and of course I'm surethere's stuff they miss or
whatever it is.
But it is definitely a reminderof A please just keep doing what
you're supposed to do.
Check on yourself, check onyour body, always go to your
appointments.
But then also, you know, ifsomething seems wrong, don't try

(59:42):
and sleep it off, like I thinkif I'd gone home to sleep it off
I'd be dead.
But I mean, I don't know that Iwould have lasted that long
because I would have been likesomeone take me to the hospital.

Speaker 2 (59:50):
But I think you're just like a beacon of like
resilience and hard work andcommunity, and that you can
really do anything.
You have the time for it, shecan do it, you guys anything is
possible.

Speaker 1 (01:00:06):
It's definitely really funny.
For me it's crazy Like whenpeople get emails from AOS
they're like, oh, we don't havetime for this, I go please don't
ever say that to me.
I hate that line, I know.
I know I don't have time forthat.

Speaker 2 (01:00:16):
I was like what do you think work?
Make it work, um, if it'simportant to you, you make it
work and I think that it'simportant to people.

Speaker 1 (01:00:23):
I just think I don't know what it is.
I mean, obviously, the goal, mygoal in life, is to empower
people to like to do things togive back to their community,
and you make that a priority inyour life.
Yes, so it I.
And sometimes I think it'speople.
They think like, oh, I can't dothis, like, oh, yeah, you can,
like it's, it won't be perfect,but it's better than it not
getting done at all.

Speaker 2 (01:00:42):
You know, it's like when you have a baby for the
first time, it's like you don'texpect the amount of hours and
the stress and the things.
But you make it work, youfigure it out, you do it, we all
did it.
It all works out so well, thankyou thank you for being here.

Speaker 1 (01:00:53):
Well, thank you for having.