March 3, 2025 • 36 mins
Get 10% OFF MyAutonomous Birth, the self-paced, Online Course HERE
Are you a soon to be mom, a seasoned mother, or simply interested in the world of birth? You’re in the right place!
In this episode, we discuss:
- Kimberly's first birth story at PenBay Medical Center in Rockport, Maine
- The decision to choose home birth.
- Midwifery care in Maine
- The power that comes from being an active participant in your own birth experience, rather than just being told what to do.
- ….and a whole lot more!
Additional Resources you’ll LOVE…
If you are ready to prepare for an autonomous birth experience, where you’re respected as the authority over your body and your baby… regardless of where you plan on birthing -
CLICK HERE for 10% off the MyAutonomous Birth self-paced, online course!
If you’re wanting a little more support as you prepare for an autonomous birth… Enrollment is now OPEN for the next round of the MyAutonomous Birth Cohort, a guided child birth education for moms who don’t want to be told what to do!
We’ll take time to get to know each other in a variety of ways throughout the program… Including:
- live support from our private community of like minded mothers
- weekly birth coaching over zoom as you work through the material
- special guest speaker workshops as you integrate and prepare for your birth
- Virtual women’s circle’s
Click HERE for all of the details!
Not sure where to start? I’ve got you covered! Check out my FREE resource, 37 Questions to Ask Your Care Provider. Whether you’re interviewing new providers or have already established care, this FREE resource offers guidance on important topics to discuss with your provider.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Kimberly (00:00):
So I like sprint down the stairs and like bow duke it
into the tub and from the timeour midwife got here to the time
this baby came was like 45 or50 minutes.
Like it was very quick.
All of that to say like theexperience was so much better
(00:21):
and it was so incredible to likeactually like feel like I was
like a part of my own birth.
We like get into this tub andlike I could like feel his head
drop and like I was like oh,this, like this baby is really
coming, like we're.
Like I was, oh my goodness,like this is it.
And so we like got him out andit was like what, like an
(00:42):
empowering thing to just be,like I like actually can do this
, even if it isn't a great timeand this totally sucks, and like
this is like a thing I can do.
So he came out and had the cordlike wrapped around a couple
times, which was also totallylike fine, and I it was just
such like a, a cool thing to belike.
(01:03):
Oh wow, I did this and I was sohappy, like I was immediately
like that's my baby, I did that.
Like like that's a, I did that,and it was just immediately so
much better, like I was in amuch better headspace.
I was so happy, even as we'relike all like just hanging out
with my sweet little seven poundbaby a hundred times over home
(01:27):
birth.
It was so good.
Angela (01:30):
I'm Angela and I'm a certified birth photographer,
experienced doula, childbirtheducator and your host here on
the my Maine Birth podcast.
This is a space where we sharethe real life stories of
families and their unique birthexperiences in the beautiful
state of Maine, from our state'sbiggest hospitals to birth
center births and home births.
(01:51):
Every birth story deserves tobe heard and celebrated.
Whether you're a soon-to-be mom, a seasoned mother or simply
interested in the world of birth, these episodes are for you in
the world of birth.
These episodes are for you.
Welcome.
You are listening to episode 103of the my Maine Birth podcast.
(02:12):
Today's birth story guest isKimberly, and she is here to
share all about her experiencebirthing at Penn Bay Medical
Center in Rockport, maine as afirst-time mom, and then about
her decision to choose a homebirth for her second birth
journey and all about what thatlooked like for her.
Hi Kimberly, welcome to myMaine Birth.
(02:35):
Thanks for taking the time tochat with me.
Absolutely, I'm so excited.
So to jump right in, will youstart by sharing a little bit
about you and your family?
Kimberly (02:47):
Yeah, so it's myself, my fiance Cody.
We have two children that we'rein the process of adopting.
They're four and five.
And then we had two kids, Ethanjust turned three and Asher
just turned one.
We live on like a little farmand do life out here.
Angela (03:07):
Awesome.
So now will you share a littlebit about when you found out you
were pregnant for the firsttime and what your thoughts were
in choosing your care.
Kimberly (03:18):
So we had been like putting off having a baby for a
little while, I'm like.
We were kind of like hemmingand hawing over it for probably
two years or close to it, and sowe finally pulled the trigger
on it.
I had been on or had had an IUDand for close to a decade or a
couple of them, and so we at thetime had decided I would get it
(03:39):
out.
And that was like beginning ofMarch maybe, and we kind of
figured we would just kind ofroll the dice with it and,
without you know doing any ofthe tracking or any of you know
the hard stuff, we would justsee where life took us and then
pick it up in the fall.
But we got pregnant immediately, which was really lucky.
I think we were thrilled.
(04:01):
You know we had waited andwaited, so we were so excited.
We were really hoping we wouldhave a girl.
That was kind of our like dreamscenario no luck.
Angela (04:12):
Did you do the testing right away?
Kimberly (04:14):
oh yeah, absolutely I.
So cody is a commercialfisherman, so he's away a lot.
So he I found out that I waspregnant and he was gone and so
I was like, well, I'll just waituntil we know what we're going
to have.
And we had like a couple photosscheduled anyway and I was like
, oh, this will be like so supercute, right?
(04:35):
So I waited and wait.
I had to like hide it from himfor like a month.
It was terrible, ended up beinga boy, whatever.
So we did that whole thing, didour photos.
He was just so, so excited andso in that we had had basic like
care at our like local women'shealth and I had never thought
(04:58):
anything other than that.
So like that's what we wentwith.
We do like live more of like aholistic lifestyle, but the idea
of having a baby without anepidural sounded terrible to me,
like I couldn't think ofanything scarier than that.
So we really leaned into ahospital birth and I at the time
(05:18):
really loved my midwife, nancyAlexander, who is now retired
Just very unfortunate foreveryone else.
What part of Maine are you in?
She was at Penn Bay Women'sHealth.
We're in Knox County.
Yeah, she was the absolute best, but we went that route and
that was all right.
You know pretty generic interms of care.
Angela (05:42):
I think so many women have a lot of fear around the
first birth experience and whatit's going to be like, and that
can have so much to do with thestories that you've heard about
birth growing up and the fearand conditioning that is just
everywhere, and I was justwondering if you'd be willing to
(06:02):
share a little bit about likewhat types of stories that you
heard about birth growing up.
Kimberly (06:08):
Um, scary, you know you, having a baby is scary and
it hurts, right Like that,that's not a secret, Like it's
not a walk in the park per se.
But there was definitely not.
There was like no one in mylife who was like, oh, this is
this magical, empowering, likeinsert all of those really great
(06:28):
words.
I mean it was a less than idealexperience.
You know, there was definitelynever any like I don't want to
say any positive conversationabout it, but it was like not,
not the way that, like I wouldlook at it now.
Angela (06:48):
Yeah, so how are you feeling throughout your
pregnancy?
Kimberly (06:50):
Incredible, positively incredible.
I had the best pregnancy myfirst trimester.
I was exhausted at the time.
I was teaching riding lessonsso I was like napping on my tack
room floor in between lessons15 minute power naps.
But once we got past it it wasgreat.
I, like, very comfortably, wentto 42 weeks and could have gone
(07:11):
longer without an induction.
But we were like in terms ofCody's, like fishing schedule.
It didn't make sense to waitany longer because then he may
have not been home.
Angela (07:22):
So would you share about the final kind of weeks and
then days leading up to yourlabor and about your birth?
Kimberly (07:30):
So we went 40, we hit like the 40 week mark and they
took me in and said, well, wecould induce you if you want.
And I said no.
I said I don't want to be inthe hospital for five days.
At that point I had had theboys, so we were two kids at
home.
I didn't want to be away fromthem, I didn't want to spend a
week in a hospital, hated thatplan.
So I was like, well, we'll wait, I have time.
(07:52):
So this is 2021.
My due date was like December27th, I think.
So we get through they do likea stress test and everything
decide totally fine, life's good, not a big baby, no reason to
stress life, Right?
So we get to the 27th, my duedate, or the day after, we all
(08:16):
test positive for COVID and theyat that point were like if you
go into labor and you'repositive for COVID, you can't
have anybody with you.
Nobody, nobody, yeah.
So I was like no way, like I,there's no way I could do that.
So we ended up being very luckythat I went so far over,
(08:38):
because then I could have Codywith me.
So that like worked out okay.
Angela (08:43):
I was that, looking as far as appointments went, like
those last two weeks, that youwere between 40 and 42.
Kimberly (08:49):
Um, I don't, I didn't have any, we had got COVID, so
they didn't want me in theoffice building and there was no
reason.
Like at that point they hadbeen like you can't go over 42
weeks, essentially Like you can,but you can't like this, and so
at that point I was prettyready.
(09:09):
So we agreed I'd go in on thatMonday at like 6.15 to start
their like C to fill or whatever.
And it was a very long process.
It totally sucked.
I like wouldn't ever do thatagain.
You know we went in for 6 15 inthe morning.
(09:33):
Yeah, made it all day with noprogression.
They tried every method possibleyou know they're cute and at
one point his like heart ratestarted dropping.
So, oh, we're gonna ease up oroh, we're gonna do this.
So it took like all the wayuntil possible.
You know they're cute.
And at one point his like heartrate started dropping.
So oh, we're going to ease up,or oh, we're going to do this.
So it took like all the wayuntil Tuesday night to like
actually get contractions going.
(09:54):
And at that point we you knowwe'd already been there 36 hours
and it just like the wholeexperience was such a bummer
because there was no, likeeasing into it.
I think it was like we sat andwait, sit and wait, sit and wait
.
Oh, three centimeters dilated,which is nothing, you know.
(10:15):
At the time I was like, cool,we're like on the way, this is
great.
And like, what is threecentimeters?
It's nothing in terms of havinga baby, which, at the time, I
didn't realize.
But so by the time we got toTuesday night and I started
having like real contractions,and then they were like, yeah,
let's turn on the Pitocin, like,and I was like at that point
I'm like, yeah, let's get thisgoing, like I don't want to be
(10:37):
here all week.
So they put on the Pitocin,told me I was at like six or
seven centimeters, and I waslike about that epidural though,
and so we got that guy up.
Angela (10:50):
Yeah, those Pitocin contractions are no joke.
Kimberly (11:07):
Brutal, absolutely cruel.
I like I, that was insane.
So I got my epidural and wentto bed.
They like they took off thepitocin because Ethan's heart
rate kept dropping and I sleptthrough the night.
So 6am rolls around and they'relike I slept like a rock and
probably the best night of sleepI've ever had, you know.
And they're like okay, well,now you're nine centimeters and
nine and a half, do you want totry to push?
And I was like, okay, cool,like this is what we're doing,
(11:28):
even though, like, I wasn'tready to push, which again is
like a like learn later on kindof deal.
Like why, at nine centimeters,are you asking me to push?
You don't know what you don'tknow, and yeah, that's exactly
it.
Um, and then so the time to likeactually push came around and
at that point my epidural hadcome out.
So I went from like not feelinganything at all to being like
(11:52):
very much in the thick of it.
And at that point, like youdon't get to choose if you push
or not, which is also like athing that I hadn't expected and
so they had to call the doctorand I thought, for sure, like we
were going to go for anemergency C-section, which at
the time, like it was my worstnightmare.
(12:12):
Like I was like I like we havekids at home, I have a life to
live.
I can't take a six weekrecovery because you had to cut
me open.
That's crazy, no way.
So the doctor come in and islike, yeah, we can totally do
this.
It's like just get this babyout of me.
He like strolls in, like makingjokes, like we're everyone here
is having a good time.
And then this way, it's likethe doctor, the pediatrician,
(12:35):
four nurses, the midwife, likeit's an entire party in here,
and like Cody's on one side andthis sweet nurse is on the other
and everyone's like, oh, justopen your eyes.
And I'm like I don't like whatfor what?
Like I don't need to open myeyes to do any of this and part
of their progression in liketrying there.
(12:55):
So they put in like a Foleycatheter at one point and I
guess that somewhere along theway I lost some amniotic fluid.
So then there wasn't enough.
So they pumped more into melike which was crazy.
I was like this is insane andit was like more painful than I
could have expected.
So by the time I was like inlabor, ready to push.
(13:16):
I like it must've been like 10gallons of fluid came out right
after the baby did Cody and Iwere like sitting there.
Like fluid came out right afterthe baby did Cody and I were
like sitting there like is itgonna stop?
Like terrifying.
But so we go to like Ethan'scoming out right.
They're like okay, two morepushes or like whatever.
And Ethan came out head out,took a breath, went back in,
(13:40):
which is like insane and likestatistically the most
improbable.
So at that point they decidedthey were going to vacuum him
out and like betweencontractions.
Angela (13:50):
I mean like, did they give you another contraction
before they made that decision?
Kimberly (13:53):
I don't even know, because I was so miserable that
I was like, get this baby out ofme, cut me open, do what you
got to do, make it stop.
Like I was done.
So they vacuum him out andthey're like we're not going to
be able to give them to you andnot like the whole time I was
like I don't care, make it stop.
(14:15):
Like this is terrible.
And so they vacuum him out,take him over to their little
cart thing.
Um, and I guess like when Iread through the like notes
later, like resuscitated him.
The whole time I had like noidea what was going on and like
genuinely didn't care.
Like because I was just somiserable.
(14:39):
Um, all was totally fine and hewas like the greatest kid ever.
But it was a really long andlike grueling experience.
Just to like all on the basisthat I wanted this epidural
because it was going to suck,all for that to like go
backwards and him be vacuumedout.
Angela (14:54):
And of course they're cutting the cord as soon as he
comes out.
Kimberly (14:56):
And yeah, because they had to take it to like whatever
.
Yeah, so I guess the issue waslike, when he came out and took
a breath, like, opened it, likewas like very much like a baby
who was ready to come out, andthen went back in and so like
his whole head, yeah, oh, that'scrazy.
Yeah, that's what I was likehow does that even happen?
(15:18):
Like yeah, when, why?
Like what about what we weredoing?
Was my body like not here forthat?
Angela (15:26):
it was like, nope, we better keep that in there yeah,
well, that wasn't your body, not, you know, naturally like it on
all sorts of stuff and days ofyou know going through that yeah
, it was crazy.
Kimberly (15:41):
So we survived that day and everything was pretty
okay, um, and we, you know, wethis like hospital setting, I
guess, was not as like cozy asit could have been.
Like after you know, like evenwhen we had done our like
(16:01):
registration, like the woman onthe phone because registrations
were over the phone at thatpoint because of covid was like
okay, like do you plan onbreastfeeding?
And I was like yep, if it likeif it works, then yeah, and she
was like well, what do you meanif it works?
And I was like, if, if it worksand we can do it, then that's
what I want to do, but ifsomething doesn't work and I
(16:23):
can't do it, I'm not going toruin my life over it.
Um, which was really at the timelike how I felt about it, um,
and she was like well, of course, like it should work, like okay
, cool Cause, that's everybody'sstory, right, and at that time
like I, I didn't know.
And so she's also like thelactation consultant there, and
so she's also like the lactationconsultant there.
(16:44):
And so she was like very in myspace and like very, it was very
overwhelming and like it wascrazy to have all of these
people in my space and like alactation consultant who wanted
to tell me that I was doing itwrong, which, like in even three
now and still breastfed.
So like there we're not doinganything wrong, like truly, um,
(17:08):
so like just the whole setting Iwas so eager to get out of
there.
We ended up leaving Thursdayafternoon, so we were only there
for like four whole days and Ihad to fight to leave, you know.
So yeah, that's crazy, that's along time.
Angela (17:22):
Why did you have to?
Kimberly (17:23):
fight to leave, you know so yeah, that's crazy.
Angela (17:24):
That's a long time.
Why did you have to fight toleave?
Kimberly (17:28):
Because they thought that we should stay an extra day
.
They I don't know why I don'tlike.
They were like oh well, I don'tknow if he's had enough diapers
Okay, well, I think he's fine.
Like we're going to go.
Well, I got to call a doctor.
Okay Well, I got to call adoctor.
(17:49):
Ok, but we're going to leave.
So you can bring me thepaperwork and I'll sign it,
whether it's discharge or AMApaperwork, but we're going to go
.
So, and I at that point I wasso over it.
I wanted to get home to myother kids and like just do life
there, like there wasn'tanything they were doing for me.
At one point the first night Ilike woke up to one of the
nurses, like holding my baby,like he wasn't in, like the
bassinet, and that like freakedme out.
(18:11):
After that I was like I can'tdo this, I can't be here.
Angela (18:16):
Wow, yeah, that can be super disorienting.
So how was your postpartum timeonce you got home?
Kimberly (18:23):
It was okay Like to start with.
I would say like it kind offelt like like an adrenaline
rush.
I think Cody was only home forlike five days and then I was
flying solo with a baby and atthe time like an 18 month old
and like a three-year-old Ithink, but it like it was cool.
I didn't have anyone over, Ididn't invite my parents over,
(18:44):
my like nobody.
I was like I need to sit in mycave and figure this out on my
own, and that worked really wellfor us.
I definitely, somewhere alongthe way, picked up like some
postpartum rage which I hadnever heard of.
I was like very well preparedfor postpartum depression or
baby blues or like being readyto cry all the time, and that
(19:07):
didn't happen for me.
I was like very short-fused andshort-tempered and like just
yelling and that that was abummer and not what I had
expected.
So it was kind of tricky tolike get around.
I was also like didn't a super.
I feel like I had heard or readall these things that were like
(19:27):
oh, your baby, you just likelove them so much.
And there's this like instantbond, especially with like
breastfeeding and all this stuff, and I was had none of it and I
was like, well, this is likehe's cute, this is great.
But it wasn't like what I hadpictured, you know.
But it wasn't like what I hadpictured, you know.
Angela (19:45):
And that can be affected so much by the birth experience
and like the way you're firstmeeting your baby and all of the
drugs that you know I have onboard.
Kimberly (19:56):
Yeah at the time.
Like you know, hindsight's20-20.
And like that was like a bigthing, like I genuinely like
didn't like when we had.
I was like I don't care whathappens at this point, like I
just like all of this needs tostop.
And I like now he's three andthe greatest thing ever, and I'm
like how is it even possiblethat I could have ever felt that
(20:17):
way?
Angela (20:19):
Yeah, it's so hard, so hard.
So when did you find out youwere pregnant now for the second
time?
Kimberly (20:27):
so we had.
I knew that we would have atleast one more.
We had always agreed on that,always, always.
And so, you know, ethan turnedone and we were like, okay,
maybe we should start thinkingabout another again.
Like our older boys are fourand five, they're 14 months
apart and are like Ethan andCarter are 18 months apart.
(20:51):
So I knew I didn't want like ahuge gap.
Um, which also just like makesme crazy, because let's just do
this like four under four thing,but I really loved it.
So we started trying for Asherand had what I guess we call a
chemical pregnancy, which was ahuge bummer.
So I was like, well, maybe,maybe this is just the universe
(21:12):
like telling us it's not ourtime.
Lo and behold, like thefollowing month it took and we
were again pumped Like we werethis is it?
Like this is going to, we gonna, we're gonna have a girl, like
no luck, which is fine.
But we, you know, we wereexcited, but we knew going into
(21:34):
it that we wanted to dosomething different.
I've never spent the night awayfrom Ethan.
The idea of going and sittingin a hospital or like having to
rush around in this, likestressful time, just like,
didn't sit right with me.
So I said you know, I thinkthat I want to try a home birth.
And Cody said, yeah, I justalready assumed we were doing
that, great, cool.
(21:55):
So I like looked around a littlebit, looking um, talked to some
friends who had had home birthsand settled on a midwife.
That's like everything abouttheir website like aligned and
was really great.
So we ended up using HannahNewman from in the nest, which
is now meadow suite midwifery,and like couldn't have loved her
(22:18):
more.
You know, I went in and she hada student midwife there who I
just immediately clicked withand was like just like one of
those people you meet and you'relike, oh OK, like you're where
this is home, like this is socozy and wonderful and I
(22:41):
couldn't have to go sit in theselike hospital rooms or like
whatever it is, and on thistable to have someone touch my
belly and say, yep, do you haveany questions?
It like it was so personal andlike just like meeting one of
your girlfriends for coffee andI like I really loved that.
And if I needed to bring thekids and I did, and like that
(23:04):
wasn't an option I had had whenI was pregnant with Ethan I
couldn't take my kids toappointments which, like, given
the fact that their dad is likegone half the time made things
really difficult, but it wasjust entirely different.
It was like there was so muchmore care in it.
You know, it wasn't astransactional as being in a
hospital, it was just so muchmore personal.
Angela (23:26):
Yeah, so what were your appointments looking like?
Did you find out right awayagain if it was a boy or a girl?
Kimberly (23:33):
Yeah, I don't have like the patience to wait.
Like I can't stand, like beingin the unknown it just kills me.
I like bought for both of them.
I bought like the sneak peektests and or maybe I didn't,
maybe I skipped it for Asherbecause I like at that point I
didn't I wanted a girl, but likewe were content either way, but
as early as I could I was likethis is what we're doing so how
(23:59):
were you feeling throughout thispregnancy?
super great again, like thefirst trimester, huge bummer,
and I napped all the time, but Iwasn't working at the time and
it just happened that Cody gotto be home for a lot of that, so
I took a lot of naps and got torest and, you know, do the
things that you're supposed todo.
It was really great.
And you know, the rest of thepregnancy totally fine, like I
(24:22):
really like being pregnant.
It's not.
I haven't had an experience.
That's been super terrible,which obviously I'm very
fortunate for and I like verywell.
Could have gone a full 42 weeks.
I didn't.
We only went a couple of daysover due date and pregnancy was
just so easy.
Angela (24:40):
Awesome.
So did you do any like testingthroughout or how did your like
kind of appointments look asthings progress?
Kimberly (24:48):
Yeah.
So we did like general, likegenetic testing with our blood
work and like gender testing,all that stuff early on and
there was just so much like morechoice.
I remember when I was pregnantwith Ethan, they like were
really adamant about me gettinga flu shot and I was like I
don't need to, like I've neverhad a flu shot, I don't need a
flu shot now.
They're like oh well for thebaby.
And I was like I don't need to,like I've never had a flu shot,
(25:09):
I don't need a flu shot now.
They're like oh well for thebaby.
And I was like is it going tostop my baby from getting the
flu?
I'm like, well, no, it's not.
Like okay, so no, we're notdoing that.
And the I don't even thinkHannah offered me a flu shot.
I like she was like here arethe things we can do.
Do you want any of these?
No, okay, didn't think so.
Moving on and like just thelike freedom that came with that
(25:33):
without like judgment, likethat alone was top notch, you
know, but with like the spacewhere, if I wanted to have gone
and gotten like a D-tap orgotten whatever like I could
have without judgment or likeyou know, I do have a negative
(25:53):
blood type, right.
So we are like I have anegative blood type and Cody has
a positive blood type.
So we did do like the rogamthing, did you take?
Angela (26:03):
it with both pregnancies .
Yeah, that's a really personalchoice.
Kimberly (26:06):
That that's like that's so hard you know, I, yeah
, and so like I, the first timeI like didn't.
The way it was like explainedto me was like if you don't get
this, then your baby could dielike very quickly, you wouldn't
know.
And I was like, okay, well,here we go's, that like whatever
.
And on the second one, it was Iwould say that like I had read
(26:31):
things that like could have goneeither way on it and I felt
like I, in that scenario, I liketrusted my midwife enough to
say that if, like, that was athing that she recommended, then
I could get on board with it.
It didn't matter in eithersituation.
So, like, both of my babieshave negative blood.
So there's so much to that yes,there is so much to it, but all
(26:53):
of it, you know, I like it wasmore still, so much, more
personal and not like this, likecookie cutter kind of care.
You know it was really great.
Yeah, that's awesome.
Angela (27:06):
So how were the final weeks and then days leading up
to your labor and birth go?
Kimberly (27:13):
So we were like super chill the whole pregnancy, right
, like didn't get any of ourstuff together, didn't get
anything ready.
Like we were like we alreadyhave three kids, like well,
we'll wing it, basically.
And then we got to like maybethe last week or two, and I
started like getting thingsready.
A few days before we went intolabor I started having
(27:35):
contractions, but not reallylike false labor, and that I was
like it was really consistentand I was like, oh, I can, like
this is great, I can do.
If this is all a contraction,it really is a cakewalk, right?
No, and then, we got to themorning of actually having this
(27:57):
baby and like 9 AM rolled aroundand I remember we're like
sitting on the couch and I waslike, hey, I think I think we're
going to have this baby today.
And Cody was like, hmm, yousaid that yesterday and like,
hey, I think I think we're goingto have this baby today.
And Cody was like you said thatyesterday and like, but but
today?
And he was like, ok, well, Iguess I'm going to go do the
dishes then and like got up andwent to do the dishes and I was
(28:18):
like I'm going to go sit in thebathtub, like this sucks, like
I'm going upstairs and you know,I had really wanted like the
kids to be around and like hadenvisioned this like really
beautiful home birth.
Not the case at all.
It kind of like I don't know Ihad gone into this like oh, like
I had this terrible experiencewhere my epidural fell out and
(28:39):
then there was all this pitocinand like I felt all these things
, so like I could do anything,like I'm going to take on the
world with this.
This is going to be a cakewalkWrong and I guess that's like a
lot in not knowing and like notactually experiencing like the
progression of birth, becausenow I feel like if I had another
baby it would be totally fine,because I like know what to
(29:02):
expect more genuinely, what toexpect more genuinely.
But so I I like labored in thetub for a while and like finally
called our midwife and I waslike here's where we're at.
And she was like cool, I'm thisfar away, do you want me to
head your way now?
And I was like I don't know.
And Cody was like well, when welast time we did this, it took
like nine hours after.
(29:22):
Like she's so far away, wedon't want to like interrupt her
whole day, right, like she's sofar away, we don't want to like
interrupt her whole day, right,like she's there's nothing
around here, like.
And so I was like yeah, you'reright, you're right.
And so like I sat on it forlike 20 minutes and I was like
no, I think that you shouldprobably get here.
So she like comes out and comesupstairs and is like how are you
(29:44):
doing?
Like, whatever she comes with,like the first of all, like the
best energy, um, but also likeall of her, like essential oils
and like all these she's likehere, sniff this like you know
all these great things.
And so she's like okay, do youwant me, do you want me to check
you, do you want to see, like,where we're at?
And I was like, yeah, like letme know how close to the end of
this I am.
(30:05):
And so she, she's like, oh, Idon't know, like seven and a
half or eight.
And I was like there's no way.
There's, there's just no way,like we have to be close to the
end of this.
So at that point she's like haveyou set up the like birthing
tub?
And Cody was like no.
And she's like, ok, you like dothat.
And at that, and at this point,like he still like doesn't
realize that we're like like Imeant it when I said we were
(30:26):
having a baby at this point, andso he gets it all set up.
And we had like practice andyou know, done the things you're
supposed to do.
And so he's like all right, Igot it set up.
And she's like cool, are youlike, is it filling?
And he's like no.
And she's like we're like we'rehaving a baby.
And so we, he gets it filling,and they're, they're like huge,
like the like it took a longtime.
(30:47):
And so he didn't.
It didn't even end up beinglike filled all the way.
But I'm like laying in this tuband I was like I, this, this
baby's going to come.
And at like we had hired abirth photographer and I was
like I can't have these pictureshappen.
I mean, we have a clawfoot tub,but like I was like I don't
want these pictures to come inthis tub, and that was like our
(31:08):
birth photographer missed thebirth anyway, so it didn't
matter.
But I was like all right, afterthis contraction, I need to get
downstairs into this tub.
And so they're like we can dothis here.
I'm like no, we cannot.
So I like sprint down thestairs and like bow, duke it
(31:35):
into the tub and from the timeour midwife got here to the time
this baby came was like 45 or50 minutes, like it was very
quick.
All of that to say like theexperience was so much better
and it was so incredible to likeactually like feel like I was
like a part of my own birth.
We like get into this tub and Icould like feel his head drop
(31:56):
and like I was like oh, this,like this baby is really coming.
Like we're, like I was.
Oh, my goodness, like this isit.
And so we like got him out andit was like what, like an
empowering thing to just be like.
I like actually can do this,even if it isn't a great time,
and this totally sucks, and likethis is like a thing I can do.
So he came out and had the cordlike wrapped around a couple of
(32:18):
times, which was also totallylike fine, and I it was just
such like a, a cool thing to belike and I, it was just such
like a, a cool thing to be like.
Oh, wow, I did this and I wasso happy, like I was immediately
like that's my baby, I did thatLike, like that's a, I did that
Like.
And it was just immediately somuch better, like I was in a
(32:41):
much better headspace.
I was so happy, even as we'relike all like just hanging out
like with my sweet little sevenpound baby.
It like a hundred times overhome birth natural hormones are
so, so powerful it was so goodlike I, on top of the world,
like had this baby.
(33:03):
We hung out for a while and,you know, birthed the placenta,
did this like, got up, walkedupstairs, took a shower.
Like you know, was so cozy athome.
Half an hour later all my kidslike were back.
My brother had like taken themto disappear for a few and like
everyone just like so excitedand it just everything about it
(33:27):
was so good and just like feltso right that like it just I
can't imagine doing anythingelse.
Angela (33:34):
yeah, yeah it's so amazing.
So how was your postpartum timethis time?
Kimberly (33:38):
around.
So I had seen like this, likenaturopath, and that was like my
concern.
I was like I'm gonna have ababy and I'm gonna yell at my
kids the whole time like I likehow do I get ahead of this?
And so she had given me abottle of some or something,
something, and was like takelike take this or take two, and
(34:00):
it made a world of difference.
So I was definitely able to getahead of it and that helped a
ton.
But also, I think like havingthe positive birth experience
made a world of difference.
It definitely like didn't lastas long, so like that was
everything you know it reallydoes make such a big difference.
(34:21):
Just have that bond and yeah, Imean, that alone is like enough
of a reason to do it.
Angela (34:30):
Naturally, you know, it was so much better so now, as a
final question, if you were togive advice to someone who's
expecting, or even new parents,what would be the biggest thing
you'd want to share?
Kimberly (34:46):
I would say to like really lean into, like the
women's, like intuitive energy,like really dive deep into that
like feminine calling, becauselike it's such like a powerful
thing and I definitely don'tthink I put enough stock in that
the first time it was like Idon't know more transactional or
(35:10):
like a medical ordeal, like a Idon't know like a thing to do,
not like an experience to have.
Angela (35:19):
Yeah, that's so true.
I love that.
Well, thank you so much, Kim,for sharing your story today.
It's been such a pleasurechatting with you.
Absolutely to check out the shownotes, because I have some free
(35:48):
trainings and free downloadsthat you can sign up for, as
well as the link to access mylabor of love, a comprehensive,
self-paced online childbirtheducation course.
I created this coursespecifically for moms who don't
want to be told what to do,regardless of where you're
birthing or who you're birthingwith, and I'd honestly love to
teach you everything that I knowso that you can prepare for an
(36:08):
autonomous birth experience andprepare to step into your role
as the leader of your birthjourney.
So click to the show notes,check out all of those links and
, if you ever have any questions, feel free to DM me at my main
birth over on Instagram.
So I like sprint down the stairs and like bow duke it
into the tub and from the timeour midwife got here to the time
this baby came was like 45 or50 minutes.
Like it was very quick.
All of that to say like theexperience was so much better
(00:21):
and it was so incredible to likeactually like feel like I was
like a part of my own birth.
We like get into this tub andlike I could like feel his head
drop and like I was like oh,this, like this baby is really
coming, like we're.
Like I was, oh my goodness,like this is it.
And so we like got him out andit was like what, like an
(00:42):
empowering thing to just be,like I like actually can do this
, even if it isn't a great timeand this totally sucks, and like
this is like a thing I can do.
So he came out and had the cordlike wrapped around a couple
times, which was also totallylike fine, and I it was just
such like a, a cool thing to belike.
(01:03):
Oh wow, I did this and I was sohappy, like I was immediately
like that's my baby, I did that.
Like like that's a, I did that,and it was just immediately so
much better, like I was in amuch better headspace.
I was so happy, even as we'relike all like just hanging out
with my sweet little seven poundbaby a hundred times over home
(01:27):
birth.
It was so good.
Angela (01:30):
I'm Angela and I'm a certified birth photographer,
experienced doula, childbirtheducator and your host here on
the my Maine Birth podcast.
This is a space where we sharethe real life stories of
families and their unique birthexperiences in the beautiful
state of Maine, from our state'sbiggest hospitals to birth
center births and home births.
(01:51):
Every birth story deserves tobe heard and celebrated.
Whether you're a soon-to-be mom, a seasoned mother or simply
interested in the world of birth, these episodes are for you in
the world of birth.
These episodes are for you.
Welcome.
You are listening to episode 103of the my Maine Birth podcast.
(02:12):
Today's birth story guest isKimberly, and she is here to
share all about her experiencebirthing at Penn Bay Medical
Center in Rockport, maine as afirst-time mom, and then about
her decision to choose a homebirth for her second birth
journey and all about what thatlooked like for her.
Hi Kimberly, welcome to myMaine Birth.
(02:35):
Thanks for taking the time tochat with me.
Absolutely, I'm so excited.
So to jump right in, will youstart by sharing a little bit
about you and your family?
Kimberly (02:47):
Yeah, so it's myself, my fiance Cody.
We have two children that we'rein the process of adopting.
They're four and five.
And then we had two kids, Ethanjust turned three and Asher
just turned one.
We live on like a little farmand do life out here.
Angela (03:07):
Awesome.
So now will you share a littlebit about when you found out you
were pregnant for the firsttime and what your thoughts were
in choosing your care.
Kimberly (03:18):
So we had been like putting off having a baby for a
little while, I'm like.
We were kind of like hemmingand hawing over it for probably
two years or close to it, and sowe finally pulled the trigger
on it.
I had been on or had had an IUDand for close to a decade or a
couple of them, and so we at thetime had decided I would get it
(03:39):
out.
And that was like beginning ofMarch maybe, and we kind of
figured we would just kind ofroll the dice with it and,
without you know doing any ofthe tracking or any of you know
the hard stuff, we would justsee where life took us and then
pick it up in the fall.
But we got pregnant immediately, which was really lucky.
I think we were thrilled.
(04:01):
You know we had waited andwaited, so we were so excited.
We were really hoping we wouldhave a girl.
That was kind of our like dreamscenario no luck.
Angela (04:12):
Did you do the testing right away?
Kimberly (04:14):
oh yeah, absolutely I.
So cody is a commercialfisherman, so he's away a lot.
So he I found out that I waspregnant and he was gone and so
I was like, well, I'll just waituntil we know what we're going
to have.
And we had like a couple photosscheduled anyway and I was like
, oh, this will be like so supercute, right?
(04:35):
So I waited and wait.
I had to like hide it from himfor like a month.
It was terrible, ended up beinga boy, whatever.
So we did that whole thing, didour photos.
He was just so, so excited andso in that we had had basic like
care at our like local women'shealth and I had never thought
(04:58):
anything other than that.
So like that's what we wentwith.
We do like live more of like aholistic lifestyle, but the idea
of having a baby without anepidural sounded terrible to me,
like I couldn't think ofanything scarier than that.
So we really leaned into ahospital birth and I at the time
(05:18):
really loved my midwife, nancyAlexander, who is now retired
Just very unfortunate foreveryone else.
What part of Maine are you in?
She was at Penn Bay Women'sHealth.
We're in Knox County.
Yeah, she was the absolute best, but we went that route and
that was all right.
You know pretty generic interms of care.
Angela (05:42):
I think so many women have a lot of fear around the
first birth experience and whatit's going to be like, and that
can have so much to do with thestories that you've heard about
birth growing up and the fearand conditioning that is just
everywhere, and I was justwondering if you'd be willing to
(06:02):
share a little bit about likewhat types of stories that you
heard about birth growing up.
Kimberly (06:08):
Um, scary, you know you, having a baby is scary and
it hurts, right Like that,that's not a secret, Like it's
not a walk in the park per se.
But there was definitely not.
There was like no one in mylife who was like, oh, this is
this magical, empowering, likeinsert all of those really great
(06:28):
words.
I mean it was a less than idealexperience.
You know, there was definitelynever any like I don't want to
say any positive conversationabout it, but it was like not,
not the way that, like I wouldlook at it now.
Angela (06:48):
Yeah, so how are you feeling throughout your
pregnancy?
Kimberly (06:50):
Incredible, positively incredible.
I had the best pregnancy myfirst trimester.
I was exhausted at the time.
I was teaching riding lessonsso I was like napping on my tack
room floor in between lessons15 minute power naps.
But once we got past it it wasgreat.
I, like, very comfortably, wentto 42 weeks and could have gone
(07:11):
longer without an induction.
But we were like in terms ofCody's, like fishing schedule.
It didn't make sense to waitany longer because then he may
have not been home.
Angela (07:22):
So would you share about the final kind of weeks and
then days leading up to yourlabor and about your birth?
Kimberly (07:30):
So we went 40, we hit like the 40 week mark and they
took me in and said, well, wecould induce you if you want.
And I said no.
I said I don't want to be inthe hospital for five days.
At that point I had had theboys, so we were two kids at
home.
I didn't want to be away fromthem, I didn't want to spend a
week in a hospital, hated thatplan.
So I was like, well, we'll wait, I have time.
(07:52):
So this is 2021.
My due date was like December27th, I think.
So we get through they do likea stress test and everything
decide totally fine, life's good, not a big baby, no reason to
stress life, Right?
So we get to the 27th, my duedate, or the day after, we all
(08:16):
test positive for COVID and theyat that point were like if you
go into labor and you'repositive for COVID, you can't
have anybody with you.
Nobody, nobody, yeah.
So I was like no way, like I,there's no way I could do that.
So we ended up being very luckythat I went so far over,
(08:38):
because then I could have Codywith me.
So that like worked out okay.
Angela (08:43):
I was that, looking as far as appointments went, like
those last two weeks, that youwere between 40 and 42.
Kimberly (08:49):
Um, I don't, I didn't have any, we had got COVID, so
they didn't want me in theoffice building and there was no
reason.
Like at that point they hadbeen like you can't go over 42
weeks, essentially Like you can,but you can't like this, and so
at that point I was prettyready.
(09:09):
So we agreed I'd go in on thatMonday at like 6.15 to start
their like C to fill or whatever.
And it was a very long process.
It totally sucked.
I like wouldn't ever do thatagain.
You know we went in for 6 15 inthe morning.
(09:33):
Yeah, made it all day with noprogression.
They tried every method possibleyou know they're cute and at
one point his like heart ratestarted dropping.
So, oh, we're gonna ease up oroh, we're gonna do this.
So it took like all the wayuntil possible.
You know they're cute.
And at one point his like heartrate started dropping.
So oh, we're going to ease up,or oh, we're going to do this.
So it took like all the wayuntil Tuesday night to like
actually get contractions going.
(09:54):
And at that point we you knowwe'd already been there 36 hours
and it just like the wholeexperience was such a bummer
because there was no, likeeasing into it.
I think it was like we sat andwait, sit and wait, sit and wait
.
Oh, three centimeters dilated,which is nothing, you know.
(10:15):
At the time I was like, cool,we're like on the way, this is
great.
And like, what is threecentimeters?
It's nothing in terms of havinga baby, which, at the time, I
didn't realize.
But so by the time we got toTuesday night and I started
having like real contractions,and then they were like, yeah,
let's turn on the Pitocin, like,and I was like at that point
I'm like, yeah, let's get thisgoing, like I don't want to be
(10:37):
here all week.
So they put on the Pitocin,told me I was at like six or
seven centimeters, and I waslike about that epidural though,
and so we got that guy up.
Angela (10:50):
Yeah, those Pitocin contractions are no joke.
Kimberly (11:07):
Brutal, absolutely cruel.
I like I, that was insane.
So I got my epidural and wentto bed.
They like they took off thepitocin because Ethan's heart
rate kept dropping and I sleptthrough the night.
So 6am rolls around and they'relike I slept like a rock and
probably the best night of sleepI've ever had, you know.
And they're like okay, well,now you're nine centimeters and
nine and a half, do you want totry to push?
And I was like, okay, cool,like this is what we're doing,
(11:28):
even though, like, I wasn'tready to push, which again is
like a like learn later on kindof deal.
Like why, at nine centimeters,are you asking me to push?
You don't know what you don'tknow, and yeah, that's exactly
it.
Um, and then so the time to likeactually push came around and
at that point my epidural hadcome out.
So I went from like not feelinganything at all to being like
(11:52):
very much in the thick of it.
And at that point, like youdon't get to choose if you push
or not, which is also like athing that I hadn't expected and
so they had to call the doctorand I thought, for sure, like we
were going to go for anemergency C-section, which at
the time, like it was my worstnightmare.
(12:12):
Like I was like I like we havekids at home, I have a life to
live.
I can't take a six weekrecovery because you had to cut
me open.
That's crazy, no way.
So the doctor come in and islike, yeah, we can totally do
this.
It's like just get this babyout of me.
He like strolls in, like makingjokes, like we're everyone here
is having a good time.
And then this way, it's likethe doctor, the pediatrician,
(12:35):
four nurses, the midwife, likeit's an entire party in here,
and like Cody's on one side andthis sweet nurse is on the other
and everyone's like, oh, justopen your eyes.
And I'm like I don't like whatfor what?
Like I don't need to open myeyes to do any of this and part
of their progression in liketrying there.
(12:55):
So they put in like a Foleycatheter at one point and I
guess that somewhere along theway I lost some amniotic fluid.
So then there wasn't enough.
So they pumped more into melike which was crazy.
I was like this is insane andit was like more painful than I
could have expected.
So by the time I was like inlabor, ready to push.
(13:16):
I like it must've been like 10gallons of fluid came out right
after the baby did Cody and Iwere like sitting there.
Like fluid came out right afterthe baby did Cody and I were
like sitting there like is itgonna stop?
Like terrifying.
But so we go to like Ethan'scoming out right.
They're like okay, two morepushes or like whatever.
And Ethan came out head out,took a breath, went back in,
(13:40):
which is like insane and likestatistically the most
improbable.
So at that point they decidedthey were going to vacuum him
out and like betweencontractions.
Angela (13:50):
I mean like, did they give you another contraction
before they made that decision?
Kimberly (13:53):
I don't even know, because I was so miserable that
I was like, get this baby out ofme, cut me open, do what you
got to do, make it stop.
Like I was done.
So they vacuum him out andthey're like we're not going to
be able to give them to you andnot like the whole time I was
like I don't care, make it stop.
(14:15):
Like this is terrible.
And so they vacuum him out,take him over to their little
cart thing.
Um, and I guess like when Iread through the like notes
later, like resuscitated him.
The whole time I had like noidea what was going on and like
genuinely didn't care.
Like because I was just somiserable.
(14:39):
Um, all was totally fine and hewas like the greatest kid ever.
But it was a really long andlike grueling experience.
Just to like all on the basisthat I wanted this epidural
because it was going to suck,all for that to like go
backwards and him be vacuumedout.
Angela (14:54):
And of course they're cutting the cord as soon as he
comes out.
Kimberly (14:56):
And yeah, because they had to take it to like whatever
.
Yeah, so I guess the issue waslike, when he came out and took
a breath, like, opened it, likewas like very much like a baby
who was ready to come out, andthen went back in and so like
his whole head, yeah, oh, that'scrazy.
Yeah, that's what I was likehow does that even happen?
(15:18):
Like yeah, when, why?
Like what about what we weredoing?
Was my body like not here forthat?
Angela (15:26):
it was like, nope, we better keep that in there yeah,
well, that wasn't your body, not, you know, naturally like it on
all sorts of stuff and days ofyou know going through that yeah
, it was crazy.
Kimberly (15:41):
So we survived that day and everything was pretty
okay, um, and we, you know, wethis like hospital setting, I
guess, was not as like cozy asit could have been.
Like after you know, like evenwhen we had done our like
(16:01):
registration, like the woman onthe phone because registrations
were over the phone at thatpoint because of covid was like
okay, like do you plan onbreastfeeding?
And I was like yep, if it likeif it works, then yeah, and she
was like well, what do you meanif it works?
And I was like, if, if it worksand we can do it, then that's
what I want to do, but ifsomething doesn't work and I
(16:23):
can't do it, I'm not going toruin my life over it.
Um, which was really at the timelike how I felt about it, um,
and she was like well, of course, like it should work, like okay
, cool Cause, that's everybody'sstory, right, and at that time
like I, I didn't know.
And so she's also like thelactation consultant there, and
so she's also like the lactationconsultant there.
(16:44):
And so she was like very in myspace and like very, it was very
overwhelming and like it wascrazy to have all of these
people in my space and like alactation consultant who wanted
to tell me that I was doing itwrong, which, like in even three
now and still breastfed.
So like there we're not doinganything wrong, like truly, um,
(17:08):
so like just the whole setting Iwas so eager to get out of
there.
We ended up leaving Thursdayafternoon, so we were only there
for like four whole days and Ihad to fight to leave, you know.
So yeah, that's crazy, that's along time.
Angela (17:22):
Why did you have to?
Kimberly (17:23):
fight to leave, you know so yeah, that's crazy.
Angela (17:24):
That's a long time.
Why did you have to fight toleave?
Kimberly (17:28):
Because they thought that we should stay an extra day
.
They I don't know why I don'tlike.
They were like oh well, I don'tknow if he's had enough diapers
Okay, well, I think he's fine.
Like we're going to go.
Well, I got to call a doctor.
Okay Well, I got to call adoctor.
(17:49):
Ok, but we're going to leave.
So you can bring me thepaperwork and I'll sign it,
whether it's discharge or AMApaperwork, but we're going to go
.
So, and I at that point I wasso over it.
I wanted to get home to myother kids and like just do life
there, like there wasn'tanything they were doing for me.
At one point the first night Ilike woke up to one of the
nurses, like holding my baby,like he wasn't in, like the
bassinet, and that like freakedme out.
(18:11):
After that I was like I can'tdo this, I can't be here.
Angela (18:16):
Wow, yeah, that can be super disorienting.
So how was your postpartum timeonce you got home?
Kimberly (18:23):
It was okay Like to start with.
I would say like it kind offelt like like an adrenaline
rush.
I think Cody was only home forlike five days and then I was
flying solo with a baby and atthe time like an 18 month old
and like a three-year-old Ithink, but it like it was cool.
I didn't have anyone over, Ididn't invite my parents over,
(18:44):
my like nobody.
I was like I need to sit in mycave and figure this out on my
own, and that worked really wellfor us.
I definitely, somewhere alongthe way, picked up like some
postpartum rage which I hadnever heard of.
I was like very well preparedfor postpartum depression or
baby blues or like being readyto cry all the time, and that
(19:07):
didn't happen for me.
I was like very short-fused andshort-tempered and like just
yelling and that that was abummer and not what I had
expected.
So it was kind of tricky tolike get around.
I was also like didn't a super.
I feel like I had heard or readall these things that were like
(19:27):
oh, your baby, you just likelove them so much.
And there's this like instantbond, especially with like
breastfeeding and all this stuff, and I was had none of it and I
was like, well, this is likehe's cute, this is great.
But it wasn't like what I hadpictured, you know.
But it wasn't like what I hadpictured, you know.
Angela (19:45):
And that can be affected so much by the birth experience
and like the way you're firstmeeting your baby and all of the
drugs that you know I have onboard.
Kimberly (19:56):
Yeah at the time.
Like you know, hindsight's20-20.
And like that was like a bigthing, like I genuinely like
didn't like when we had.
I was like I don't care whathappens at this point, like I
just like all of this needs tostop.
And I like now he's three andthe greatest thing ever, and I'm
like how is it even possiblethat I could have ever felt that
(20:17):
way?
Angela (20:19):
Yeah, it's so hard, so hard.
So when did you find out youwere pregnant now for the second
time?
Kimberly (20:27):
so we had.
I knew that we would have atleast one more.
We had always agreed on that,always, always.
And so, you know, ethan turnedone and we were like, okay,
maybe we should start thinkingabout another again.
Like our older boys are fourand five, they're 14 months
apart and are like Ethan andCarter are 18 months apart.
(20:51):
So I knew I didn't want like ahuge gap.
Um, which also just like makesme crazy, because let's just do
this like four under four thing,but I really loved it.
So we started trying for Asherand had what I guess we call a
chemical pregnancy, which was ahuge bummer.
So I was like, well, maybe,maybe this is just the universe
(21:12):
like telling us it's not ourtime.
Lo and behold, like thefollowing month it took and we
were again pumped Like we werethis is it?
Like this is going to, we gonna, we're gonna have a girl, like
no luck, which is fine.
But we, you know, we wereexcited, but we knew going into
(21:34):
it that we wanted to dosomething different.
I've never spent the night awayfrom Ethan.
The idea of going and sittingin a hospital or like having to
rush around in this, likestressful time, just like,
didn't sit right with me.
So I said you know, I thinkthat I want to try a home birth.
And Cody said, yeah, I justalready assumed we were doing
that, great, cool.
(21:55):
So I like looked around a littlebit, looking um, talked to some
friends who had had home birthsand settled on a midwife.
That's like everything abouttheir website like aligned and
was really great.
So we ended up using HannahNewman from in the nest, which
is now meadow suite midwifery,and like couldn't have loved her
(22:18):
more.
You know, I went in and she hada student midwife there who I
just immediately clicked withand was like just like one of
those people you meet and you'relike, oh OK, like you're where
this is home, like this is socozy and wonderful and I
(22:41):
couldn't have to go sit in theselike hospital rooms or like
whatever it is, and on thistable to have someone touch my
belly and say, yep, do you haveany questions?
It like it was so personal andlike just like meeting one of
your girlfriends for coffee andI like I really loved that.
And if I needed to bring thekids and I did, and like that
(23:04):
wasn't an option I had had whenI was pregnant with Ethan I
couldn't take my kids toappointments which, like, given
the fact that their dad is likegone half the time made things
really difficult, but it wasjust entirely different.
It was like there was so muchmore care in it.
You know, it wasn't astransactional as being in a
hospital, it was just so muchmore personal.
Angela (23:26):
Yeah, so what were your appointments looking like?
Did you find out right awayagain if it was a boy or a girl?
Kimberly (23:33):
Yeah, I don't have like the patience to wait.
Like I can't stand, like beingin the unknown it just kills me.
I like bought for both of them.
I bought like the sneak peektests and or maybe I didn't,
maybe I skipped it for Asherbecause I like at that point I
didn't I wanted a girl, but likewe were content either way, but
as early as I could I was likethis is what we're doing so how
(23:59):
were you feeling throughout thispregnancy?
super great again, like thefirst trimester, huge bummer,
and I napped all the time, but Iwasn't working at the time and
it just happened that Cody gotto be home for a lot of that, so
I took a lot of naps and got torest and, you know, do the
things that you're supposed todo.
It was really great.
And you know, the rest of thepregnancy totally fine, like I
(24:22):
really like being pregnant.
It's not.
I haven't had an experience.
That's been super terrible,which obviously I'm very
fortunate for and I like verywell.
Could have gone a full 42 weeks.
I didn't.
We only went a couple of daysover due date and pregnancy was
just so easy.
Angela (24:40):
Awesome.
So did you do any like testingthroughout or how did your like
kind of appointments look asthings progress?
Kimberly (24:48):
Yeah.
So we did like general, likegenetic testing with our blood
work and like gender testing,all that stuff early on and
there was just so much like morechoice.
I remember when I was pregnantwith Ethan, they like were
really adamant about me gettinga flu shot and I was like I
don't need to, like I've neverhad a flu shot, I don't need a
flu shot now.
They're like oh well for thebaby.
And I was like I don't need to,like I've never had a flu shot,
(25:09):
I don't need a flu shot now.
They're like oh well for thebaby.
And I was like is it going tostop my baby from getting the
flu?
I'm like, well, no, it's not.
Like okay, so no, we're notdoing that.
And the I don't even thinkHannah offered me a flu shot.
I like she was like here arethe things we can do.
Do you want any of these?
No, okay, didn't think so.
Moving on and like just thelike freedom that came with that
(25:33):
without like judgment, likethat alone was top notch, you
know, but with like the spacewhere, if I wanted to have gone
and gotten like a D-tap orgotten whatever like I could
have without judgment or likeyou know, I do have a negative
(25:53):
blood type, right.
So we are like I have anegative blood type and Cody has
a positive blood type.
So we did do like the rogamthing, did you take?
Angela (26:03):
it with both pregnancies .
Yeah, that's a really personalchoice.
Kimberly (26:06):
That that's like that's so hard you know, I, yeah
, and so like I, the first timeI like didn't.
The way it was like explainedto me was like if you don't get
this, then your baby could dielike very quickly, you wouldn't
know.
And I was like, okay, well,here we go's, that like whatever
.
And on the second one, it was Iwould say that like I had read
(26:31):
things that like could have goneeither way on it and I felt
like I, in that scenario, I liketrusted my midwife enough to
say that if, like, that was athing that she recommended, then
I could get on board with it.
It didn't matter in eithersituation.
So, like, both of my babieshave negative blood.
So there's so much to that yes,there is so much to it, but all
(26:53):
of it, you know, I like it wasmore still, so much, more
personal and not like this, likecookie cutter kind of care.
You know it was really great.
Yeah, that's awesome.
Angela (27:06):
So how were the final weeks and then days leading up
to your labor and birth go?
Kimberly (27:13):
So we were like super chill the whole pregnancy, right
, like didn't get any of ourstuff together, didn't get
anything ready.
Like we were like we alreadyhave three kids, like well,
we'll wing it, basically.
And then we got to like maybethe last week or two, and I
started like getting thingsready.
A few days before we went intolabor I started having
(27:35):
contractions, but not reallylike false labor, and that I was
like it was really consistentand I was like, oh, I can, like
this is great, I can do.
If this is all a contraction,it really is a cakewalk, right?
No, and then, we got to themorning of actually having this
(27:57):
baby and like 9 AM rolled aroundand I remember we're like
sitting on the couch and I waslike, hey, I think I think we're
going to have this baby today.
And Cody was like, hmm, yousaid that yesterday and like,
hey, I think I think we're goingto have this baby today.
And Cody was like you said thatyesterday and like, but but
today?
And he was like, ok, well, Iguess I'm going to go do the
dishes then and like got up andwent to do the dishes and I was
(28:18):
like I'm going to go sit in thebathtub, like this sucks, like
I'm going upstairs and you know,I had really wanted like the
kids to be around and like hadenvisioned this like really
beautiful home birth.
Not the case at all.
It kind of like I don't know Ihad gone into this like oh, like
I had this terrible experiencewhere my epidural fell out and
(28:39):
then there was all this pitocinand like I felt all these things
, so like I could do anything,like I'm going to take on the
world with this.
This is going to be a cakewalkWrong and I guess that's like a
lot in not knowing and like notactually experiencing like the
progression of birth, becausenow I feel like if I had another
baby it would be totally fine,because I like know what to
(29:02):
expect more genuinely, what toexpect more genuinely.
But so I I like labored in thetub for a while and like finally
called our midwife and I waslike here's where we're at.
And she was like cool, I'm thisfar away, do you want me to
head your way now?
And I was like I don't know.
And Cody was like well, when welast time we did this, it took
like nine hours after.
(29:22):
Like she's so far away, wedon't want to like interrupt her
whole day, right, like she's sofar away, we don't want to like
interrupt her whole day, right,like she's there's nothing
around here, like.
And so I was like yeah, you'reright, you're right.
And so like I sat on it forlike 20 minutes and I was like
no, I think that you shouldprobably get here.
So she like comes out and comesupstairs and is like how are you
(29:44):
doing?
Like, whatever she comes with,like the first of all, like the
best energy, um, but also likeall of her, like essential oils
and like all these she's likehere, sniff this like you know
all these great things.
And so she's like okay, do youwant me, do you want me to check
you, do you want to see, like,where we're at?
And I was like, yeah, like letme know how close to the end of
this I am.
(30:05):
And so she, she's like, oh, Idon't know, like seven and a
half or eight.
And I was like there's no way.
There's, there's just no way,like we have to be close to the
end of this.
So at that point she's like haveyou set up the like birthing
tub?
And Cody was like no.
And she's like, ok, you like dothat.
And at that, and at this point,like he still like doesn't
realize that we're like like Imeant it when I said we were
(30:26):
having a baby at this point, andso he gets it all set up.
And we had like practice andyou know, done the things you're
supposed to do.
And so he's like all right, Igot it set up.
And she's like cool, are youlike, is it filling?
And he's like no.
And she's like we're like we'rehaving a baby.
And so we, he gets it filling,and they're, they're like huge,
like the like it took a longtime.
(30:47):
And so he didn't.
It didn't even end up beinglike filled all the way.
But I'm like laying in this tuband I was like I, this, this
baby's going to come.
And at like we had hired abirth photographer and I was
like I can't have these pictureshappen.
I mean, we have a clawfoot tub,but like I was like I don't
want these pictures to come inthis tub, and that was like our
(31:08):
birth photographer missed thebirth anyway, so it didn't
matter.
But I was like all right, afterthis contraction, I need to get
downstairs into this tub.
And so they're like we can dothis here.
I'm like no, we cannot.
So I like sprint down thestairs and like bow, duke it
(31:35):
into the tub and from the timeour midwife got here to the time
this baby came was like 45 or50 minutes, like it was very
quick.
All of that to say like theexperience was so much better
and it was so incredible to likeactually like feel like I was
like a part of my own birth.
We like get into this tub and Icould like feel his head drop
(31:56):
and like I was like oh, this,like this baby is really coming.
Like we're, like I was.
Oh, my goodness, like this isit.
And so we like got him out andit was like what, like an
empowering thing to just be like.
I like actually can do this,even if it isn't a great time,
and this totally sucks, and likethis is like a thing I can do.
So he came out and had the cordlike wrapped around a couple of
(32:18):
times, which was also totallylike fine, and I it was just
such like a, a cool thing to belike and I, it was just such
like a, a cool thing to be like.
Oh, wow, I did this and I wasso happy, like I was immediately
like that's my baby, I did thatLike, like that's a, I did that
Like.
And it was just immediately somuch better, like I was in a
(32:41):
much better headspace.
I was so happy, even as we'relike all like just hanging out
like with my sweet little sevenpound baby.
It like a hundred times overhome birth natural hormones are
so, so powerful it was so goodlike I, on top of the world,
like had this baby.
(33:03):
We hung out for a while and,you know, birthed the placenta,
did this like, got up, walkedupstairs, took a shower.
Like you know, was so cozy athome.
Half an hour later all my kidslike were back.
My brother had like taken themto disappear for a few and like
everyone just like so excitedand it just everything about it
(33:27):
was so good and just like feltso right that like it just I
can't imagine doing anythingelse.
Angela (33:34):
yeah, yeah it's so amazing.
So how was your postpartum timethis time?
Kimberly (33:38):
around.
So I had seen like this, likenaturopath, and that was like my
concern.
I was like I'm gonna have ababy and I'm gonna yell at my
kids the whole time like I likehow do I get ahead of this?
And so she had given me abottle of some or something,
something, and was like takelike take this or take two, and
(34:00):
it made a world of difference.
So I was definitely able to getahead of it and that helped a
ton.
But also, I think like havingthe positive birth experience
made a world of difference.
It definitely like didn't lastas long, so like that was
everything you know it reallydoes make such a big difference.
(34:21):
Just have that bond and yeah, Imean, that alone is like enough
of a reason to do it.
Angela (34:30):
Naturally, you know, it was so much better so now, as a
final question, if you were togive advice to someone who's
expecting, or even new parents,what would be the biggest thing
you'd want to share?
Kimberly (34:46):
I would say to like really lean into, like the
women's, like intuitive energy,like really dive deep into that
like feminine calling, becauselike it's such like a powerful
thing and I definitely don'tthink I put enough stock in that
the first time it was like Idon't know more transactional or
(35:10):
like a medical ordeal, like a Idon't know like a thing to do,
not like an experience to have.
Angela (35:19):
Yeah, that's so true.
I love that.
Well, thank you so much, Kim,for sharing your story today.
It's been such a pleasurechatting with you.
Absolutely to check out the shownotes, because I have some free
(35:48):
trainings and free downloadsthat you can sign up for, as
well as the link to access mylabor of love, a comprehensive,
self-paced online childbirtheducation course.
I created this coursespecifically for moms who don't
want to be told what to do,regardless of where you're
birthing or who you're birthingwith, and I'd honestly love to
teach you everything that I knowso that you can prepare for an
(36:08):
autonomous birth experience andprepare to step into your role
as the leader of your birthjourney.
So click to the show notes,check out all of those links and
, if you ever have any questions, feel free to DM me at my main
birth over on Instagram.
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Intentionally Disturbing
Join me on this podcast as I navigate the murky waters of human behavior, current events, and personal anecdotes through in-depth interviews with incredible people—all served with a generous helping of sarcasm and satire. After years as a forensic and clinical psychologist, I offer a unique interview style and a low tolerance for bullshit, quickly steering conversations toward depth and darkness. I honor the seriousness while also appreciating wit. I’m your guide through the twisted labyrinth of the human psyche, armed with dark humor and biting wit.