March 13, 2025 • 66 mins
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Are you a soon to be mom, a seasoned mother, or simply interested in the world of birth? You’re in the right place!
In this episode, we discuss:
- Two EMMC Bangor, Maine Birth Stories
- The importance of Trusting your Intuition
- Last minute change in birth plans for her second birth due to HELLP Syndrome
- Why everyone's birth choices should be respected
- ….and a whole lot more!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Kate (00:00):
And when I got there I was about four and they were like
(00:03):
we're going to start to breakyour water.
I was like, ok, so can I get ayoga ball?
And like, so I can kind ofbounce around.
And they were like, well,actually, because of the help
syndrome, we have to put you onmagnesium and because you're on
magnesium, you can't get out ofbed.
And it's like magnesium is notgoing to like.
And they were like, oh it will.
And boy were they right.
(00:24):
Magnesium's not going to like.
And they were like, oh it will.
And boy were they right.
I didn't realize the effect thatthat could have on you.
So I was like, oh great, so nowI have to ride out these very
intense contractions withoutbeing able to move my body.
Like I did my first, you know,my first labor to deal with it,
and that was kind of you knowhow I did deal with it.
(00:47):
It was moving my positions.
So I felt like I was going tobe kind of helpless.
And it was very, another veryscary moment, like, okay, so
what am I going to do?
These contractions are going tobe worse.
I know they are and they were,but I felt like the nurses were
really good, like okay, well,you know we'll help move you.
And like we'll, we'll be righthere to help.
(01:08):
And, um, I, my husband's like Iswear every time they came in
they jacked up your pictosanbecause my contractions got very
strong very fast and they wereso long and so strong Like I
don't feel like any contraction.
I had my whole first labor,compared at all to my second
labor, and I had been laboring Ithink it was at this point it
(01:30):
was 11 o'clock.
So I was like somebody needs tocheck me because I I've got to
have made some progress, I needto hear that I've made progress.
And the nurse checked me andshe's like, oh great, you're at
five centimeters.
And I remember just feeling sodefeated.
And the nurse checked me andshe's like, oh great, you're at
five centimeters.
And I remember just feeling sodefeated and I was like I have
only dilated one centimeter withall of these super strong
(01:54):
contractions.
Like, oh my God, what am Igoing to do?
And so I had read Ina May'sguide to childbirth and it talks
about the power of thisvisualization and using your
brain and like I cannot sayenough how wonderful that
approach is and I like in mymind I didn't say anything to
(02:21):
anybody, but in my mind I was.
I was like, okay, everycontraction, I am focusing on
the word open.
I'm visualizing my cervixopening and the sounds that came
out of me.
But it was that you know thatdeep guttural that they tell you
will help.
So I would.
(02:42):
I would have the start of acontraction.
It's the only way I could makeit through it, as I would just
say open, but it sounded like ademon, but it was, you know, low
guttural and I just visualizedit and I just kept saying open
in my head.
And 45 minutes later I said youneed to check me again.
And the nurse is like, okay,I'll check you again.
(03:05):
And she checked me and she'slike I'm just going to step out
for a second.
And like she went out and shewas like waving the doctor in
who had gone.
She had gone to do somethingelse for somebody else somewhere
in the hospital and she walkedin.
She's like, oh, I hear we'reready to push her at 10
centimeters.
And I was like, thank the Lord.
Angela (03:27):
I'm Angela and I'm a certified birth photographer,
experienced doula, childbirtheducator and your host here on
the my Maine Birth podcast.
This is a space where we sharethe real life stories of
families and their unique birthexperiences in the beautiful
state of Maine, from our state'sbiggest hospitals to birth
center births and home births.
(03:48):
Every birth story deserves tobe heard and celebrated.
Whether you're a soon-to-be mom, a seasoned mother or simply
interested in the world of birth, these episodes are for you.
Welcome back.
You're listening to episode 106of the my Main Birth podcast.
(04:09):
Today's birth story guest isKatie, and she's here to share
about her two birth stories atEastern Maine Medical Center in
Bangor.
Hi, katie, welcome to my MainBirth.
Hi, will you start by sharing alittle bit about you and your
family?
Kate (04:29):
Sure, so I have two little girls.
One was born in 2020 and onewas born in 2023.
So they're four and a littleover a year, and my husband also
.
We've been together for like 16years now, I guess, and we're
(04:51):
just.
You know, we've been living inMaine.
My husband's from Vinyl Haven,so he's an island boy and I'm
from Washington County, so I'mway down east and we like all of
the coastal things.
Angela (05:07):
Amazing.
Yes, it's so beautiful.
Love it here.
Yeah, vacation land.
Kate (05:15):
A place like home.
Angela (05:17):
Yeah, now to get into your birth stories a little bit.
Will you start by sharing howyou found out you were pregnant
for the first time and what yourthoughts were in choosing your
care?
Kate (05:28):
So the first time, with my first pregnancy, I actually
found out on my husband'sbirthday.
It was January 10th of 2020.
And we had actually had a lossbefore that, and so we were very
excited to find out that I waspregnant again.
(05:48):
And I don't know, I think itwas like super early in the
morning.
I was like I'm just going totake a test, just you know,
because I was hoping, and I tookit and I was so excited.
I just like ran in and I showedmy husband the test and he was
like groggy and asleep and hewas like so excited.
(06:11):
I was like happy birthday.
And I, I don't know I the reasonI chose the doctor that I did,
even though he was an hour awayfrom me, is because both of my
sisters had gone through him andmy older sister had a lot of
fertility issues and he was justvery compassionate with his
(06:34):
care with her.
So I decided to go with him andhe was amazing.
I was Dr Smith and he was.
He was just funny.
He had great bedside manner.
So I was.
I was pretty okay with thewhole idea of like a hospital
birth.
His office had recommended tome a hypnobirthing class that I
(06:56):
took.
They were very I don't knowjust supportive of everything
and they were also who I wentthrough when I had my loss and
they were so compassionate andit was just.
It was a good fit.
Unfortunately, he retiredbefore I found out I was
pregnant with my second, so itwas a very different.
(07:17):
It was kind of a panic, likewhere do I go?
Angela (07:22):
Yeah, For your second.
So did you.
Were you able to keep your carewith him throughout your
pregnancy with your first?
How was that kind of pregnancylooking?
Kate (07:31):
Very healthy.
I tell people all the time itwas.
It was not a normal pregnancy.
I don't think I felt superhuman, like I don't know what was
going on.
I had no aches, no pains.
I typically have knee pain andjoint pain.
That it was just on.
I had no aches, no pains.
I typically have knee pain andjoint pain.
That it was just on.
My entire first pregnancy I wasworking out three times a week.
(07:52):
I worked out the day before Ihad her.
You know it was.
It was amazing.
I felt wonderful.
I had no health issues, nothingat all.
So it was.
It was a great experience.
I loved being pregnant.
Angela (08:11):
Oh, that's amazing.
Yeah, it is an incredible time,for sure, and it's so
interesting how it affects allof us so differently too.
Kate (08:19):
I said it set me up for failure because my second
pregnancy I didn't have thatsuperhuman quality.
So I just felt normal and I waslike, what is this?
This is not great, it was aletdown.
Letdown yeah, it's okay, though.
It worked out.
Um, you know it was prettyhealthy.
Angela (08:39):
Um the second time around too, up until it wasn't't
tell me about the last finalweeks and then days leading up
to your labor and birth thefirst time around.
Kate (08:51):
So we kind of were shuffling houses, it.
It was kind of it was like aculmination of things.
My parents were getting a newhouse and my older sister wanted
to move closer to home.
So she did.
She wanted, she didn't want tolive in our childhood home.
So we kind of shuffled housesand I she and her husband helped
(09:15):
pack up my house and we movedall of my stuff in with my
parents while we were waitingfor their house to be built.
Unfortunately, with all of theCOVID restrictions waiting for
their house to be built,unfortunately, with all of the
COVID restrictions, it kind ofpushed our timelines.
So we were all supposed to bein our own homes but I was
sharing a home with my parentsagain and my husband has a
business out on Vinyl Haven sohe had actually come over here
(09:39):
to be on the mainland with us upthe.
It was for like two, two weeks.
So I had gone to the doctorsafter I'd been training with my
personal trainer and they said,oh, there's no change since last
week.
And I was like, oh man, I guessmaybe maybe you could go back
(09:59):
and get some work done likethere's no change.
So I'm probably good, and mydue date wasn't for another week
or so.
I thinking back now like thatwas so stupid of me, but I was
just like you'll be fine, goahead.
And at about uh, I think it waslike four, 20 ish in the morning
I had my first contraction andI'd kind of had the Braxton
(10:24):
Hicks type stuff going on offand on for a few weeks.
So it wasn't really concerningto me, but I I text my husband
just to let him know, becausethe first boat leaves at like
7.00 AM and I was like I don'tknow if you still want to go,
but just letting you know what'sgoing on.
And he was like well, do youwant me to come back?
(10:45):
And I was like no, it's fine,it's a first labor Like this
could last, you know, for a dayor two, I don't know.
I think you're good, go aheadand go.
My husband, knowing better, textmy mom and he's like can you
just go check on her?
And so she came in and she waslike maybe you should.
Just, you know time yourcontractions.
And so I did and they were fiveminutes apart pretty
(11:09):
consistently, and I was like butthey're not, they're not long
and strong, they're only like 30seconds right now.
So I don't think this is reallabor.
And she told my husband she'slike I think maybe you better
just come back.
So he did, and he got there atlike 10 o'clock in the morning
and so he, uh, he was like, doyou think we should go?
(11:31):
And I was like I don't know, Istill don't feel like this is
real labor, like it's justslightly uncomfortable, a little
bit like period cramps.
And he's like why don't youjust call Dr Smith's office and
just see what they say?
And they told me to come in andget checked and we live an hour
away from there.
So we, you know, we we got inthe car and we brought our bag.
(11:52):
And even my dad said, as wewere driving away, he's like
you're not having a baby today,you're way too calm.
And I got to the hospital and Iwas seven centimeters dilated
and they were like you'redefinitely having a baby today.
So that was kind of just how itled up.
So you, didn't have to go intohis office, you just kind of
went straight to the hospital,yep that's what they they
(12:14):
recommended, just because theywere like, how long have you
been having contractions thatare five minutes apart?
And I was like, oh, it's beenhours.
And they were like, yeah, youbetter just go right over to
labor and delivery.
And, um, they had already doneall my paperwork and everything.
So it was.
You know, I basically just hadto go and sign my name.
That said, I was there and theytook me straight up to labor
(12:34):
and delivery and I refused thewheelchair at first when I
walked in, and then I hadanother contraction and the the
I don't even remember if it wasthe guy at the door, if it was
the nurse just inside.
They're like, maybe you shouldjust sit down.
And so I did.
I listened to them, but, uh, Igot upstairs and my water broke
(12:57):
as soon as I walked through thedoor to my suite.
So it was time.
Angela (13:02):
Wow, that's cool, so share about how the rest of that
day went.
So they checked you when yougot in there, Was it they did?
They check you after your waterbroke and saw you were seven
centimeters or like was it goingin there.
Kate (13:18):
Yeah, I think that I walked through the door and my
water broke and they're likewe'll be right in to check you
and I.
So the other thing was it was,um, so Dr Smith's office
alternated weekends with anotheroffice and of course it was the
weekend that his office wasn'ton, so it was the other office
that would be delivering and itactually ended up being the
(13:40):
doctor that delivered my littlesister's son the year prior.
So I had met her before in youknow that context and it was oh
my word, it actually it was agreat experience.
Really.
I really can't complain.
I don't think I was.
Not, I didn't really want tohave an IV.
(14:00):
I have little veins and I justam not a fan of needles and I
was like I don't think I needone and I did feel like I was a
little bit pressured intogetting one, despite not really
wanting one, and I felt like ifit had been my office, they
would have been much more likeno, we're not doing that.
Also, I kept a copy of my birthplan in my diaper bag that we
(14:22):
brought with us, so, just on thechance that it wasn't my doctor
that would deliver us, and Igave it to them pretty much as
soon as we walked through thedoor, or my husband gave it to
him, I don't remember which oneof us did, but it basically said
everything that I you know mywishes and you know I didn't
want an epidural, I wanted to donatural childbirth and I didn't
(14:45):
want anything to help me alonglike pitocin.
I'd heard horror stories fromsome of my friends that had had
that and yeah, it was, it reallywas beautiful.
I mean, they were like, ok, soyou want to walk around, like
you know, do what you need to do.
They weren't using the tub,which I had really wanted, but
(15:05):
because it was COVID, they justdidn't do it.
So they offered me the shower.
But the shower was great, itwas a huge shower they had.
It was like a stand that theyoga ball went on.
So I kind of was in there for agood long time and my husband
was giving me counter pressureand he was, you know, like
(15:28):
massaging my shoulders.
He was such a trooper, hedidn't bring a change of clothes
, he was soaked from the shower,yeah.
And then towards the end there Ifelt like it was forever that I
was at like nine and a halfcentimeters and I continually
was actually asking them tocheck my cervix.
I'm like, because I have to be,I have to be done.
And finally, when it got tothat point, they were like, okay
(15:54):
, on this, you know, on this,next time you can push.
And they coached me withpushing, but it was so
counterintuitive because I haddone the hypnobirthing class and
the hypnobirthing class reallytalks about like the fetal
ejection reflex and you know, uh, breathing down and like a j
movement, and the breathing thatthey coach you to do is not at
(16:14):
all like that and I was having areally hard time getting a
rhythm.
But I say that and I onlypushed for 30 minutes, so it
wasn't that bad, but it was uh.
And also we did, um, we didn'tfind out if we were having a
girl or a boy.
(16:35):
So that moment when she wasborn and uh, dr Kaufman had laid
her on my belly and she, herlittle legs were crossed and her
umbilical cord was running upher tummy and me and my husband
look at each other.
And then we looked at thedoctor and we're like, because
it said in my birth plan doctorannounces and she's just sitting
(16:58):
there smiling, completelyforgot you know that we had
wanted that.
She was like oh yeah, it's agirl.
And you know I we had wantedthat.
She was like oh yeah, it's agirl.
And you know I cried.
I was so happy.
I think I would have been happyeither way, but I really had
been praying for a daughter, soit was a beautiful moment.
Angela (17:17):
Oh my gosh, that is beautiful.
And just all of the you knowhormones that are in your body
in that moment when you'refinding out, versus just like at
an ultrasound appointment itjust definitely adds to it all.
Kate (17:30):
We did.
I remember crying like I have adaughter.
Angela (17:35):
Oh, that's so sweet.
Kate (17:38):
It was.
It was really a phenomenalbirth experience.
I have no complaints, really aphenomenal birth experience.
I have no complaints really.
And it kind of, you know, thesecond time around, when I would
, I think I would have been finechoosing another hospital birth
.
But you know, with Dr Smithretiring and all of his staff
(18:01):
had gone to the other practicethat alternated with them, they
weren't accepting new clientsand even though I had been Dr
Smith's client I couldn't getestablished care with them and
they said, unless I was highrisk they wouldn't accept me as
a patient.
And basically I had heard thatthat was kind of what was going
(18:21):
on in Bangor at the time anywayis that we have such a shortage
of healthcare providers forpregnancy that they really
weren't accepting anyone thereunless they were high risk.
Angela (18:34):
Yeah, it's still so hard across the whole state.
So just to talk for a few moreminutes about your first birth
experience how was yourpostpartum time the first time
around?
Kate (18:51):
Well, it was.
Uh, I was.
I was extremely lucky because,you know, I had my husband here
and, even though it wasn'tplanned, my parents were also
here.
So I had a lot of support hereand my sister lived right next
door.
My grandmother lives in thesame town.
Uh, you know it was.
I'm very lucky that I have sucha connected family.
I remember the first two weeksbeing a struggle because I
decided to breastfeed and, um,she was having some latch issues
(19:14):
and I was working with alactation consultant and then I
actually had in the hospital,had OM for her, the osteopathic
manipulation, and it seemed toreally help her latch there.
So I asked if we could continuethat care.
And I'm very lucky that there'salso a provider that does that
(19:35):
a couple of towns over from me.
So that was really helping withthe latch issues.
But I feel like you kind of notthe greatest advice If you're
planning to breastfeed.
They're like, oh, you know,every two to three hours, but I
don't feel like that's realityat all.
Uh, I was breastfeedingprobably 45 minutes every hour
(19:57):
and I would have like 15 minutewindow and then to be at the
breast again and that was prettymuch around the clock first two
weeks, but after that it kindof developed into a you know it
was spacing it further out andit was about the two-week mark
that she started sleeping forlonger periods at night.
So all new mothers know howthis feels.
(20:19):
If you're like I could just getlike a solid 20 minutes, I
would feel so much better.
Plus, you're you know, being anew mom you constantly you just
can't, you can't shut it off,you can't shut your brain off,
and you're are they okay?
And you're looking and checkingon them every few minutes.
And it was like I said, it wasabout the two week mark is when
(20:41):
we kind of had settled into abetter rhythm and I was getting
more sleep and I I honestly Icouldn't tell you I felt like it
was sleeping through the night,but it probably wasn't really
sleeping through the night.
It was just the fact that wewere getting blocks and chunks
of time at night that I actuallygot a long stretch of sleep.
And yeah, she was super easybaby, though Like she's just you
(21:06):
know she was content andbecause of COVID I had so many
downfalls.
But I really feel like it was ablessing for me to be pregnant
during the pandemic Because,first of all, nobody touched me
when I was out in public.
Nobody came up and rubbed mybelly or anything.
Um, and I love my family, butalso I feel like it was really
(21:31):
special to just have me and myhusband and her for a good three
or four days in the hospital,just us, and kind of found
ourselves, you know, as parentsalready, um, without being
(21:54):
constantly interrupted byvisitors just because it wasn't
allowed so, and I didn't have toexplain it to anybody.
So there was no guilt on mypart and uh, you know, we came
home and everybody was soexcited.
You know, my, my sister hastwins and uh, they were super
excited that they had a babycousin now.
(22:15):
So it was just, it was a greatexperience.
It was super supportive.
The breastfeeding kind of fellin place.
It was.
I think it was at about fourmonths it was just out of the
newborn stage when she finallywas able to latch without a
nipple shield and she breastfeduntil she was almost three and
(22:36):
she stopped breastfeeding.
When I found out that I waspregnant with my second, it was
probably two or three monthsinto that pregnancy when she
stopped breastfeeding.
Angela (22:45):
Yeah, that's amazing and that leads right into your
second pregnancy.
So will you share about how youfound out you were pregnant for
the second time?
Kate (22:55):
So I'm a massage therapist and I was actually trading with
one of my friends.
I was like you know, maybe I'mpregnant.
And I was like I'll just take atest before I trade with
Michelle today.
So I did and I looked at it andyou know, I had waited like the
I don't know three minutes orwhatever, and I was like, oh,
(23:15):
that doesn't look positive.
And her and I had talked aboutit because we were both talking
about if we wanted more kids andyou know that sort of thing.
And then, after I'd finishedher massage, I had gone back
into the bathroom to wash myhands and I looked and I was
like that actually lookspositive.
I was like it's probably anindent line.
(23:36):
I'll take another one tomorrow.
And so I did and I was pregnantand uh, it was great, it was.
It was close to April 1st,because I remember talking to my
husband and I had told him overthe phone and he was like this
is not a good April Fool's joke.
And I was like I swear, I'mserious.
And he was like I don't thinkyou're serious, he goes, I don't
(23:58):
think you tell me over thephone like this.
And I'm like I am serious, Iswear, um.
So I had found out that way andwe actually had had a trip
planned with my family to.
We actually had had a tripplanned with my family to Disney
over April vacation and I amhorrible at keeping secrets from
(24:19):
my family, but I was veryadamant with everybody.
We were at Magic Kingdom, itwas like our first day there.
At the end of the day I waslike let's meet and have the
photographer take a picture ofus in front of the castle and I
planned on announcing that wemake it to them.
Everybody's miserable, we'reall hot, sweaty and they're like
why are you?
Like, oh, do we have to do thispicture?
And I was like, yes, we'redoing this picture.
(24:39):
So I told the photographer youknow, um, do you mind like
telling, like saying it, youknow, when you take our picture?
And she was, she was all in onthis.
So I go back over to the groupand we're getting these pictures
.
And she took like 10 picturesbefore she even said it.
And then she was like Leona isgoing to be a big sister.
(25:00):
And then she just rapid firesnapped all these pictures and
the recognition you can see likesetting in on their faces and
the pictures and I just Itreasure those pictures so much
because I've never kept a secretfrom my mother or my sister for
that long.
So I was about I think I was sixor seven weeks so I announced
(25:24):
pretty early I know it's kind ofa taboo thing to announce early
, A lot of people like to waituntil the 12 weeks.
But I know when I had my lossthat I had said in my mind after
I had gone in and they had toldme that you know I was in an
active miscarriage that I wasn'tgoing to tell anybody and I was
(25:45):
just going to deal with itmyself because I didn't want to
tell anybody.
But then I got home and I sawmy mom and my grandmother was
here and I just broke downcrying and having their support
was just not that it made iteasier, but it was just nice to
have the support.
And I my husband and I had kindof discussed it and he's like
well, what happens if we haveanother miscarriage?
(26:07):
And I was like I would ratherthem be able to celebrate with
me while we can celebrate andthen they can support me if it
goes wrong.
And everybody was so excited.
I just love my mom and my oldersister and the pictures.
They both kind of looked ateach other and it was hilarious
and my mom said to me, she goes,when the photographer first
(26:29):
said that Leona is going to be abig sister, she was like, oh, I
wonder if she knows that wehave a Leona too.
And I was like she was like,and then it set it and so that
was just.
You know, it was really greatand yeah, I so I had decided, um
, to go with a provider that wascloser to me and she has, like
(26:53):
a birth center and she very muchsuper supportive of your
choices.
She's also informative.
She wants you to be well awareof what your choices are and I
really respected that and I hadmet her kind of outside of the
context of her practice also,and you know, we just really got
along and I decided to go toher for my health care.
(27:16):
Do you care to share who?
That was?
Sure, Jarnie Thomas, down, asshe runs Women First in Machias
and she was actually in theprocess of moving her practice
from one location to anotherwithin Machias.
So I toured both of her birthsuites when she was in the first
(27:39):
place and then when they movedto the second place, and I was
like this is, this would be adream to deliver here.
And I was super excited and I,you know, I actually was really
healthy throughout my pregnancy.
My last appointment that I hadwas really healthy throughout my
pregnancy.
My last appointment that I hadwas the Monday before
Thanksgiving and we had talkedbecause I was, I was due
(28:01):
December.
I think my December 12th was mydue date and she was like so,
do you feel like you're going togo into labor?
And I was like no, I feel likeI'm, you know, I'm good.
And she's like so I was goingto go visit my parents and it's
a few hours away.
So I was like no, you're good,Go enjoy your time.
And my blood pressure was alittle bit elevated but it
(28:24):
wasn't anything super alarming.
And you know, like they checkedmy urine every week for proteins
and there was nothing there,nothing of concern I did have.
Uh, it was, they weren't.
So I failed my one hour glucosetest and she gave me the option
to come back for the three hourtest or I could monitor my
blood sugar and like my food andeverything for a couple of
(28:48):
weeks.
She said you know, I know youhave a toddler.
She's like it's hard to comesit here for like half a day
with a toddler.
So if you want to do the foodlog and the sugar checks, and I
just got like um, it was one of,you know, just one of the ones
that you can get at Walmart todo a finger stick and it kept a
log in my phone.
So you know I it really wasn'tthat hard to keep track of, for
(29:11):
it was like two or three weeksand then there were no other
concerns after that.
It was, you know, I also,morning of my one hour glucose
test, I had made donuts, freshmade donuts with glaze, which
like powder, sugar, milk andtons of flour, and I had popped
a couple of donut holes, noteven thinking about my glucose
(29:31):
test shortly thereafter.
So I was kind of like maybethat's what did it, I don't know
.
And so, like I said, the Mondaybefore Thanksgiving I had gone,
my blood pressure was slightlyelevated, but there was also
construction, the whole ridedown and I feel like that
sometimes elevated my bloodpressure and, um, like I said,
(29:55):
she was like yeah, period, youknow you're doing great.
I have any concerns with any ofyou know the tests.
You know I'll let you know.
All good.
And then I woke up the next dayand I kind of had some
discomfort.
Looking at you know hindsight,uh, it was right upper quadrant
pain.
At you know hindsight, uh, itwas right up her quadrant pain.
But I, you know it was, itwasn't.
(30:16):
It wasn't so bad that I wasunable to function.
I was just kind ofuncomfortable and, you know, I
went to sleep that night.
I woke up the next day it wasgone on Wednesday.
So I was like, oh, I'm fine.
Thanksgiving came and weactually had a whale, uh that
washed up on shore down here onPigeon Hill, kind of a big to-do
(30:39):
little town.
So everybody was going down andwe went down and we saw it and
we were driving back and I hadthis like wave of nausea hit me
and I had to pull overimmediately.
And I was, I was throwing upand my mom happened to be coming
down to see the whale.
So she saw me.
She's like are you okay?
And I was like, yeah, I thinkso.
I was like, you know, justpregnant and went home.
(31:02):
Uh, we made dinner, uh, we ateat my sister's, like we do every
year.
My in-laws were over here.
My mother-in-law had said to methough she's like you didn't
seem like yourself.
She goes.
But I didn't want to sayanything because you were
pregnant, I didn't want to makeyou feel bad.
So I, I don't know, I was justkind of uncomfortable.
(31:23):
But also, you know it'sThanksgiving, a lot going on.
I figured it was 38 weeks.
You know I'm big on.
I figured it was 38 weeks.
You know I'm big, I'm I'm goingto be uncomfortable.
And then I went to bed thatnight and I started getting that
right at up quadrant pain againand it just it.
(31:43):
It didn't get worse but itstayed the same.
I tried you know differentpositions.
I got up, I walked around andit wasn't going away and I it
was like a two o'clock in themorning and I don't know I had
this little voice in my headthat said you really the
(32:04):
hospital.
And I was like okay, I'm, I'vegot, I've got to go do this, Uh,
uh.
So I woke my husband up and Isaid I think we need to go to
the hospital and he's like areyou in labor?
And I was like I don't thinkI'm in labor, but something's
not right.
And he was like okay, so whatare we gonna do with our
(32:27):
daughter Leona?
And I was like, okay, um, well,I'll call mom.
So I called my mom.
She's like, oh my god, are youin labor?
I was like, no, I don't thinkI'm in labor, but can Leona come
stay with you?
I don't feel right and I'mgonna have Evan take me to the
hospital.
And, um, she was like, yeah,are you gonna?
She's like you should text youruh, Jarnie, and I was like I
(32:48):
don't want to bother her, andshe was like I really think you
should, though, and I was like,oh well, don't want to bother
her.
She was like I really think youshould, though, and I was like,
oh well, I'll just see what itis.
It's probably just gas.
And so we took my daughter tomy mom's, I gave her the biggest
hug, told her I loved her, andmy husband was like should we
(33:09):
bring the baby bag?
And I was like, yeah, let'sjust bring it, just in case.
I don't think I'm in labor, butyou know, you never know.
So off we went.
We went to Ellsworth, which islike 45 ish minutes away to the
hospital from my house, and wegot the.
Magically, there was absolutelynobody else in the ER, which I
don't think has ever happened toany human being in the whole
(33:30):
planet ever.
We walked in and my husband'slike okay, I'm going to go park
the car.
And I said okay, and I went upto the desk and I said I'm 38
weeks pregnant.
I said I have this pain goingon.
I just would like to be seen,just to make myself feel better.
And I don't think it took him20 minutes to get me in and get
(33:50):
my blood tested and a urinesample and everything, Like it
was super fast and I'm layingthere waiting.
And the doctor came in and shesaid you are super sick.
She said you have severepreeclampsia and and you also
(34:11):
have help syndrome and you haveto have a baby today.
And I was so scared I startedcrying.
My so my mom's cousin hadpassed away on christmas day
when she was.
She was a young mother, she was18 and she had preeclampsia and
(34:36):
like that was the voice thatwas in that the hospital was
because of that and I had noidea what help syndrome was.
I didn't realize how severe itwas.
So I texted Jarnie and I saidso apparently I'm having a baby
today.
And I told her what was goingon and she was like I'm on my
(34:58):
way right now.
She also has rights to deliverin Ellsworth.
So she was like I'll, I'll bethere as soon as I can.
And they were like okay, we'regoing to take you up to labor
and delivery.
So they took me straight upthere.
I think it was probably likefour, thirty or five o'clock in
the morning by this time whenJarnie got there and I remember
(35:19):
like when she walked into theroom, like we both were, I could
just tell by her face somethingwasn't right.
And she was like.
I said to her first I was likeI'm so sorry.
She's like why are you sorry?
I was like because it's youknow, it's you know it's
Thanksgiving.
And she's like well, no, it'snot, it's actually black Friday.
So I spent my time with myfamily and now I'm here for you.
And she's like and plus, I'mprobably going to be more sorry
(35:41):
than you are.
And, um, we had had manydiscussions throughout my
pregnancy.
Uh, I was super scared ofhaving a C-section.
My sister had one.
She had a really rough recovery.
Granted, I know differentcircumstances.
She had an emergency C-section.
She delivered at 32 weeks.
There are probably a whole hostof reasons why she had a rough
(36:02):
recovery, but you know, that hasbeen my experience and what
I've seen of C-sections, so Idid not want one.
And she said well, no, you can'thave a C-section because the
probability that you would bleedout is very, very high.
So I am not going to be able todeliver you and I'm going to
(36:26):
have to send you to Bangor byambulance.
She said we don't have theblood product here If it's not
given to you.
She said we could get you inblood product here if and to you
.
She said we could get you inright now and do a c-section.
She said, however, um, ifthings went bad, there's nothing
we could do for you.
So she's like I'm gonna staywith you and wait for the
ambulance and, um, you knowwe're gonna.
(36:48):
She said we're gonna check yourcervix before you go because
we're going to.
She said we're going to checkyour cervix before you go, Cause
they're going to want to knowhow far you are before they
induce your labor up there.
And I was like wait a second,I've got to be induced.
And she was like yeah, whichwas another one of my fears
because the pictosan I had had afriend.
She had delivered her firstchild naturally, and then she
was like the second one, I wasinduced, oh my God.
(37:10):
So lots of thoughts swirling inmy head at this point and I was
super nervous.
And there had been a nurse thereand I remember her She'd
started an IV on one side andthen she stuck me on the other
side with another IV and I wasnot really paying attention
(37:31):
because Jarni and I were talkingand I tell you if looks could
kill, jarni looked at her andwas like excuse me, like so, um,
she's like they're gonna thankme and Bangor that you have too,
and yeah, so they loaded me upin the ambulance.
Geez, it was about six o'clockI think, because it was sunrise,
(37:56):
was about six 30, and sunrisehappened as I was driving from
Ellsworth to Bangor, which islike a half hour ish, maybe a
little bit more.
And I got to Bangor, mind you,my husband had to follow us, so
he gets all this information,and he's like, so do I go to?
Do I ride with her?
And they were like, well, no,you got to bring the car, cause
(38:18):
you guys are going to have tohave a way home.
And he's like, okay, so he'slike going and frantically like
trying to get to the car so hecan follow the ambulance.
And they sent the nurse with me,who was a traveler, and, uh,
her bedside manner was not thebest.
I will say that because Ilooked at her and I said I am
(38:39):
really scared.
She said, well, probably whatwill happen when we get there is
that they're going to put youand give you a C-section
immediately.
And I was like, oh my God, andshe's like they'll have to put
you out because, you know, withthe help syndrome and everything
, and they're going gonna haveto pack you and all that stuff.
But you know, that's probablythe safest thing to do.
And I was like, well, if I'mgonna be unconscious, I said
(39:01):
you're the only person here thatcan advocate for.
So, like, this is what I want.
I want my child to have an hourof skin contact with my husband
.
I, you know, because I, becauseI didn't, I couldn't call him
at that point and I'm like youknow, I want that.
I want delayed cord clampingand like all this stuff.
And she was.
She said to me that delayedcord clamping had no benefit and
(39:28):
it was like new age, hippiestuff Basically.
She also told me that there wasreally no benefit and it was
like new age, hippie stuffbasically.
She also told me that there wasreally no benefit to the golden
hour and like just basicallyanything like.
She was like shutting me downhard and I was like I was just I
remember being speechless likewhy are you first of all in
labor and delivery anddelivering any sort of health
(39:49):
care if this is how you're goingto treat people?
So none of she I, she amped meup.
My fear was like so highbecause I'm like, oh my God,
this woman's really not going toadvocate for me, like she's not
going to respect any of mywishes and I have no way to
contact my husband and like whatif I don't see him?
(40:10):
And what if they do take me in?
And you know, my head's justswirling with all this stuff.
She was not a great experience.
Angela (40:17):
And she's also the one that poked you two times and you
weren't even expecting it,because she's like Bangor will
thank me, trying to like, solike, look good to them.
Kate (40:25):
Yeah.
So like she was probably theonly bad part of all of this
though I mean considering, Iguess she's the only person I
think that was not compassionateand caring I will say that I
guess the two young men thattook me on the ambulance they
were so nice and respectful andactually on the on the ride
(40:50):
there one of them said do youhappen to have your cell phone
somewhere?
And I was like I don't know.
And the nurse was like yeah,it's right here.
And she passed it to him andthey're like, um, what is your
husband's name?
And I was like, oh, he's inthere.
I gave him his real name andthey they were able to find him
anyway my phone and they calledhim and they're like you need to
slow down.
Angela (41:11):
He's trying to keep up with the ambulance.
Kate (41:14):
And they're like, we understand this is like a
sensitive situation and but youknow you have to drive the speed
limit, so but they, they wereso nice and, like you know, they
were very respectful and calmand like checking my vitals and
you know talking respectful andcalm and like checking my vitals
and you know talking.
(41:35):
They were just super soothingand not what you would expect
from young men who barely lookedold enough to you know drive,
let alone be emts.
Oh my goodness, oh, that'spretty wonderful and um, so I
got to the hospital and I got upto maternity and, thankfully,
(41:55):
that nurse left with theambulance crew and I never saw
her again.
And from then on, though, myexperience considering was
significantly better.
I wish I could remember all oftheir names.
I had so many people looking inon me.
So I got there and they werelike, okay, well, what we're
(42:18):
going to do is we're going toinduce labor.
I think I'd been in the roomfor maybe 15 minutes when people
I don't think I had met maybe Ihad, maybe the doctor had come
in.
Dr Heber I cannot say enoughgood things about her.
This is my first time evermeeting this woman.
She was also pregnant at thetime and she is the most calm,
cool and collected woman I thinkI have ever met in my life.
(42:41):
She really she was justphenomenal.
And the nurses I had I couldnot speak higher of them.
They were wonderful, you knowtalked me through everything,
told me, you know, we're goingto induce labor, we're going to
use pictosan, we're going to,you know, break your water.
Every step of everything thatthey did, they were explaining
(43:01):
it to me and they were just,they were so soothing, I don't
know what, like you know theirvoices, just their mannerisms,
walking me through everything.
I think my husband was in shockthis whole second labor because
he was just kind of like sittingthere in the corner wide eyed
and like, because they came inand they said, okay, so you have
(43:23):
help syndrome, we're not goingto do a C-section, that is not
safe.
What we're going to do is we'regoing to induce labor, we're
going to use pictosan, which hasits risks.
But you know you're at a goodstarting point.
I think I was three and a half,four centimeters dilated at
that point and I think I wasthree when I was in Ellsworth
when Jarni checked me and thenwhen I got there I was about
(43:46):
four.
And they were like we're goingto start pictosan, break your
water.
I was like, okay, so can I geta yoga ball?
And like so I can kind ofbounce around.
And they were like, well,actually, because of the help
syndrome, we have to put you onmagnesium.
And because you're on magnesium, you can't get out of bed.
And I was like magnesium's notgonna like.
(44:07):
And they were like oh, it will.
And boy were they right.
I didn't realize the effect thatthat could have on you until I
don't.
I don't even know how toexplain it.
It's like in those movies whereyou see people that are like
high and things are moving, butit like leaves the colors behind
(44:30):
.
That's how it felt when I wason magnesium.
Like everything just felt.
Like if I move my head, it tooka minute for my body to catch
up with the movement.
You know, I just felt it was,it was weird, it was not fun, um
, but you know you can't bewalking around if you can't, be
(44:50):
sure, on your feet.
So I also was like, oh great,so now I have to ride out these
very intense contractionswithout being able to move my
body.
Like I did my first you know, myfirst labor to deal with it.
And that was kind of you knowhow I did deal with it.
It was moving my positions.
So I felt like I was going tobe kind of helpless.
(45:12):
And it was very, another, veryscary moment, like okay, so what
am I going to do?
These contractions are going tobe worse.
So what am I going to do?
These contractions are going tobe worse?
I know they are and they were.
But I felt like the nurses werereally good, like OK, well, you
know, we'll help move you.
And like well, we'll be righthere to help.
And then there was a point Idon't know my husband's like.
(45:36):
I swear every time they came inthey jacked up your pictosan
because my contractions got verystrong, very fast and they were
so long and so strong Like Idon't feel like any contraction.
I had my whole first labor,compared at all to my second
labor, and I had been laboring.
I think it was at this point itwas 11 o'clock.
(45:57):
So I was like somebody needs tocheck me because I've got to
have made some progress.
I need to hear that I've madeprogress.
And the nurse checked me andshe's like, oh great, you're at
five centimeters.
And I remember just feeling sodefeated and I was like I have
only dilated one centimeter withall of these super strong
(46:19):
contractions.
Like, oh my, my god, what am Igonna do?
And so I had read aina may'sguides childbirth and it talks
about the power of thisvisualization and using your
brain and like I cannot sayenough how wonderful that
(46:40):
approach is and I like in mymind I didn't say anything to
anybody, but in my mind I waslike, okay, every contraction, I
am focusing on the word open,I'm visualizing my cervix
opening and the sounds that cameout of me.
(47:02):
But it was that you know thatdeep guttural that they tell you
will help.
So I would.
I would have the start of acontraction it's the only way I
could make it through it as Iwould just say open.
But it sounded like a demon,but it was, you know, low
guttural and I just visualizedit and I just kept saying open
(47:24):
in my head and 45 minutes laterI said you need to check me
again and the nurse is like okay, I'll check you again.
And she checked me and she'slike I'm just going to step out
for a second and like she wentout and she was like waving the
doctor in who had gone.
She had gone to do somethingelse for somebody else somewhere
(47:44):
in the hospital and she walkedin.
She's like, oh, I hear we'reready to push her at 10
centimeters.
And I was like thank the Lordshe was so calm though, because
she's like can you hold back onthis contraction?
Do you think you cannot push?
And I was like that isabsolutely not an option for me,
but I cannot do that.
And she was like, oh, okay,just do what you got to do.
(48:07):
And so she's breaking down theend of the table and she's just
like like, so calm and the endof that contraction.
My daughter was born, so shewas just like she caught her and
was like, oh, great, you have agirl.
And that was.
You know that.
But it was uh, it was superfast.
(48:29):
But the visualization piecereally is what saved me that
second labor.
I mean, I used it a little bitthe first time, but my
contractions built slowly overtime and like I don't remember
them being as overwhelming andas all consuming as the second
time around.
That second time around wasjust that pictosan man, yeah.
Angela (48:56):
Yeah, pictosan contractions are no joke, but
that is incredible.
The power, like the power ofyour mind is so, so amazing and
that that's incredible.
Kate (49:07):
Yeah, yeah that I mean I, I cannot say enough good things
about that book in general.
I read it my first pregnancyand my second pregnancy, like I
was like, oh, you know, I'vealready done hypnobirthing, I've
already done, like I don't needto do it again.
But um, I definitely did crackthat book open again towards the
(49:29):
end of my second pregnancy andI was like, oh yeah, like I
remember this stuff, like, oh,what great information, and I
think that's another thing thatI use.
My first pregnancy too is likeanytime I was in the car I was
listening to positive birthaffirmations, like your body can
do this, like don't be nervous,and all of those things.
And so, you know, I had usedthat before, but it definitely.
(49:54):
I didn't realize how true itwas until I was unable to move
my body and I had to.
Kind of, the only thing I hadat my disposal was my mind, and
it was.
You know, it was, it was theonly thing that saved me.
And then I feel like everythinghappened so fast after I had
had her.
(50:14):
But you know, because of thehelp syndrome, they were worried
about me bleeding out.
That was another thing.
You know, my, my levels uh,what was it?
My, my platelet levels were at60,000 when I was in Ellsworth
and they wanted at a hundredthousand if you're going to have
a C-section.
And then by the time I haddelivered, um, they had dropped
(50:38):
down to like 30 in that shortamount of time.
So they were really reallypretty worried about me bleeding
out.
So they had given me like aninjection and I ended up with
two blood transfusions after Idelivered.
I didn't realize how bad it wasuntil, like, because they were
checking my blood every sixhours because of the help
syndrome, and after my firstblood transfusion they came back
(51:01):
and they checked and then theycame back and they said your
platelet levels are stilldropping, so I think we're going
to do another blood transfusionjust to be safe.
So they did.
And then finally I think it wasabout 12 hours after birth is
when I had turned a corner andmy, you know, my blood started
looking, started looking better,and my I think it was my liver
enzymes were kind of, you know,coming down and wasn't a fan of
(51:25):
getting poked all the time.
But yeah.
Angela (51:29):
So how are you feeling during that time after birth,
throughout those times when,like were you, did the blood
transfusions make you feelbetter?
Were you feeling very depletedprior to them administering that
?
Kate (51:42):
I didn't.
I honestly didn't realize howbad it was until the next day
because I zoomed like a zoomcall or FaceTime or I don't
remember which which platform weuse, but we used one of those
and I called my sister and mymother because I they.
So they kept me on labor anddelivery for like 24 hours
(52:03):
because after I'd had her,because of the magnesium, I had
to be on it 24 hours after birth.
So I was still there and Icouldn't have visitors until
they had transferred me over.
I was, I looked awful, I wassuper pale and I I looked like
the walking dead.
I mean it was awful and I waslike the walking dead.
I mean it was awful and I waslike good Lord, don't let Leona
(52:23):
see me like this.
But I didn't realize how bad itwas until I saw myself, but
also I was in bed.
I didn't also know how bad themagnesium was until I feel like
it was after birth.
I don't know if it was becauseof, you know, the contractions
and all of that stuff that Ididn't realize like the
(52:46):
loopiness that it caused until Ihad a minute to kind of like
focus on myself and the baby andthat's when I kind of realized
that everything was slow motionand I just didn't feel normal.
So I don't know if themagnesium just kind of kept me
from realizing how crappy I felt.
But after I got transferred,you know, up to maternity and I
(53:09):
could walk again on my own and Iwas able to, you know, kind of
move around, I felt so muchbetter.
I didn't realize like I feltweak, I guess, kind of walking,
after having been in bed forstraight 24.
Well, it was more than 24 hours, because when I was in
(53:29):
Ellsworth I don't think my feettouched the floor until I
delivered after that.
So, and then, you know, we choseto breastfeed again and that
was a little bit of a struggle.
She really did not want tobreastfeed on one side.
So I don't, I don't even knowwhy she really still has a
(53:50):
strong preference, even to today.
But we we also have been.
You know she's had osteopathicmanipulation too and I feel like
that's really made a tremendousdifference and she's better
about feeding on both sides.
But it was definitely a strugglein the hospital and she would
scream bloody murder If I triedto make her nurse on the side.
(54:10):
That she did not like.
And it didn't matter whatposition I held her in If I had
her facing one way or the otherway.
I tried everything, the nursestried everything, everything.
And I even remember the nursewas like I know you really want
to go home because, also, I hadnever left my older daughter
ever prior to us going in thehospital and that was also part
(54:31):
of the plan of giving birth.
The birth center with Jarni isthat you know, I could deliver
and go home that same day andlike not really have to leave my
daughter and yeah, so she kindof.
You know, it was like four daysthat we were in the hospital
and she got to visit the daybefore we left and she took it
(54:52):
better than me actually, becausewhen she, my mom and my
grandmother came with her andthey're like, okay, we're going
to leave, and she's like no,grandmother came with her and
they're like okay, we're gonnaleave, and she's like, no, I'm
gonna stay with mom.
And I was like so, uh, whenthey left, I held it together
until she walked out the door,but then I lost it crying.
Angela (55:08):
I was like, oh, I've got to get home to this baby also
can find out all the hormonesthat you normally even
experience on day three.
Kate (55:15):
Like day three, I think that's all like it was hard and,
yeah, the the baby she wasnursing and that was another
thing.
Like my first birth to mysecond birth is like you know,
you, you, absolutely knownothing.
Not that we it's not like wegain a whole bunch of knowledge,
you know but the breastfeedingpart was a little bit easier the
(55:39):
second time because I kind ofknew what to look for.
Like I remember being in thehospital with my oldest and
pumping and not getting anything.
And I went over to the sink andI was like washing the pump
parts and I started crying.
But I was like trying to do itsilently and my husband came
over and he hugged me and he'slike why are you crying right
now?
And I was like cause I didn'tget anything and I'm not going
(56:01):
to be able to do this.
And he's like the nurse saidthat was normal.
He's like you need to like calmdown, you're going to be fine.
And like this is going to passand you know you're going to be
able to do this.
And he was right.
He's not often right, but hewas right this time.
And it really really matters,yeah and like then, you know,
(56:22):
the second time around, you knowit was like the first or second
day and like I was pumping alot, like I was getting over an
ounce, you know, when I pumped,and I just I felt like a
champion because of that.
But uh, yeah, they, they weregonna make me were like, well,
let you go home If you agree toformula feed.
(56:42):
And I was like I don't thinkthat I'm going to do that, but
like I'll agree to any terms toget out of here.
And then the nurse came in andshe saw how much I was pumping
and she's like you don't needformula.
She's like they just didn'tthink you were going to be able
to pump enough.
But if that's how much you'repumping, and I was like that was
one side and she's like, yeah,you don't need to, you don't
need the formula supplementation.
(57:03):
And she's like you're going tobe fine.
Angela (57:06):
And you're like I already need that.
Kate (57:07):
But thank you.
And the postpartum nurses, too,were absolutely phenomenal.
Like they were just upbeat andfunny and, like you know, they
were joking around with me andmy husband and they were just
super helpful.
Angela (57:27):
Everybody there was absolutely above and beyond
anything I expected for mysecond time around how the
supportive staff can make apretty horrible and scary
experience into one that reallyisn't so terrible and makes you
feel comfortable throughout.
It really makes all thedifference, right, I mean yeah.
Kate (57:49):
It really, really the staff is the main part.
I remember that was part ofwhat was so discouraging.
I think the first time when Iwas like trying to figure out
what I was feeding is, you knowI had was hot and cold
experiences.
I had one nurse that was verylike you can do this, and
another nurse is like it's notthat big a deal if you can't,
like I know she was trying to besupportive but it was like felt
(58:12):
like a slap in the face, yeah.
And then the second time aroundthey're like you've got this,
you're a champ.
Like you know, it was very,yeah, very empowering.
I, even though I I don't know Ifelt like both of my birth
experiences were very empoweringand I mean, despite the
(58:34):
scariness of the second timearound, like I wouldn't change
anything, I feel like itdefinitely gave me some insight
to some different things and,like you know, you can, you can
be healthy the whole time andthings can change in an instant.
And I know I have a lot ofpeople that say you know, like
birth plans aren't really thatimportant, but I I feel like
(58:55):
they are very important myself,especially I don't know
especially that second timearound, I'm so glad that I
actually had a birth planprinted in my bag because I had
discussed it with Jarni so manytimes and I know she knew what I
wanted inside and out, and likeshe wouldn't ever had to look
at it.
But things changed so fast thatshe wasn't able to deliver me.
(59:16):
And you know that, dr Heber, itwas the first time I'd ever met
her and you know so she wasable to have all of that
information at her fingertips.
And that was another thing is Iremember a nurse coming in on
my second, you know, and shekind of she was very like mild,
and she was like okay, I havesome information I need to share
(59:38):
with you.
And I was like, okay, and shewas like, so, you're not going
to be able to have an epidural.
I was like, oh, that's fine, Ididn't plan on having one.
She's like oh, my God, Ithought you were going to be mad
at me.
She's like I'm so glad.
She's like, because of the helpsyndrome, you can't have one
because it's, you know, it'sdangerous for you to get one.
And I was like, oh, okay, I waslike, well, I didn't plan on
(01:00:00):
having one, so I guess we'regood.
You know, not looking forwardto the the intensity of the
pictosan, but it'll all work out.
Angela (01:00:10):
Yeah, Just having that positive mindset is really like
the uh, the foundation of it all.
Yeah.
Kate (01:00:18):
Yeah, it was definitely I.
That's my biggest stressstressor.
I think to anybody that's, youknow, a first-time mom or if
it's your sixth baby, like thepower of your mind is so
important and don'tunderestimate yourself yeah.
Angela (01:00:34):
So, as a final question, if you were to give advice to
someone who's expecting, or evennew parents, what would be the
biggest thing you'd want toshare?
Kate (01:00:43):
Definitely that.
Also, I think that I feel like,as women, we often like
everybody.
You know you have yourexperiences and we all I don't
know.
I feel like there's a lot oftalking down about other
people's choices in today'sworld and I think my biggest
(01:01:04):
piece of advice to mothers islike you know yourself best, you
know what you want and likeyour experiences, and don't let
anybody tell you that what youwant is wrong for you.
Because, uh, in my family we'vehad very many of my sisters have
had very, very differentexperiences.
Like I said, my older sisterhad had a C-section, emergency
(01:01:25):
C-section at 32 weeks.
My sister had, she had a vacuumassisted birth.
She also had an epidural.
And then I had my two girls,one induced and one natural, and
both with no pain medication.
And you know, all of ourexperiences were right and they
were right for us.
And I think that's importantfor every mother to know is you
(01:01:48):
know you're doing what's rightfor you and just you know you.
You don't have to have otherpeople's approval for what
you're choosing for yourself.
Angela (01:01:59):
Yeah, I love that so much.
You really hit the nail on thehead right there with that
statement.
It's so, so true and like thatis definitely my biggest goal
with everything that I'm doinghere with my company is just
like I'm not really an advocatefor any sort of birth choice or
birth decision.
I'm an advocate for you doingwhatever you want to do and
(01:02:19):
found that really yeah.
Kate (01:02:22):
I mean there's so much information out there about your
choices and you know the risksthat you know there's.
There's risks to every choice.
I mean there were risks for meto choose a birth center.
Or there's risks to beinginduced.
There's risks to C-sectionsEverything has a risk.
You just need to C-sections.
Everything has a risk.
You just need to weigh what'sbest for you.
Angela (01:02:44):
Yeah, it totally looks different to everybody and
that's so valid.
Kate (01:02:48):
It does.
I mean, I know a lot of peoplereally like they would prefer,
you know, to have a scheduledC-section and like if that's
what works for you, then that'sthe best choice for you.
Like, yeah, I am terrified ofthe thought.
I was scared of an epidural.
Like the thought of a needle inmy spine, like that terrified
(01:03:10):
me, and that's fine that youknow that might work for some
people.
I'm a weenie, I can't do it.
Angela (01:03:18):
Yeah, and the biggest thing for me is the way women
are talked to throughout theexperience.
Like a lot of times when you'regoing through the hospital
system, you're talked to likeyou don't have a choice.
I've had several women come tome in birth trauma debrief
sessions where they were talkedto like okay, we're going to
schedule your second C-sectionjust because you already had a
first C-section.
(01:03:39):
And oh, you want to go intolabor naturally.
Even if you do, we're not goingto let you try for a VBAC,
we're not going to let you this,we're not going to let you that
.
And then women feel like theyhad to this and they had to that
because of the way they weretalked to.
My biggest thing is is that youshould know that you always
have a choice.
There are always choices.
Kate (01:03:59):
So important Exactly and you know that was also another
appeal to Dr Smith for me isthat he had one of the lowest
C-section rates you know in thearea, because you know there are
risks to being induced and likeyou may need a C-section
because your labor may stall outor, like you know, like I said
there's risk.
(01:04:19):
And you's, and you never know,cause everybody's so individual
and your body could react sodifferently to something than
somebody else you know.
And and that's the other thingis like pain levels are so
subjective and like everybodyexperiences pain on a different
you know way.
So just because you can handlea certain pain in a certain way
(01:04:44):
doesn't mean somebody else can,and like I just think we all
need to respect each other'schoices.
Angela (01:04:52):
Yeah, yes, oh, I could not agree more.
Yeah.
Thank you so much for takingthe time to chat with me today
and to share your stories.
Kate (01:05:01):
I love your podcast, so I will continue to listen and be
excited to hear new stories.
Yeah, thank you so much.
Angela (01:05:11):
Before you go, I just want to remind you I have a ton
of resources for pregnancy andbirth.
If you're pregnant, whetheryou're a first-time mom or if
this is your fifth baby, I wantyou to check out the show notes,
because I have some freetrainings and free downloads
that you can sign up for, aswell as the link to access my
Labor of Love, a comprehensive,self-paced online childbirth
(01:05:34):
education course.
I created this coursespecifically for moms who don't
want to be told what to do,regardless of where you're
birthing or who you're birthingwith, and I'd honestly love to
teach you everything that I knowso that you can prepare for an
autonomous birth experience andprepare to step into your role
as the leader of your birthjourney.
(01:05:54):
So click to the show notes,check out all of those links and
, if you ever have any questions, feel free to DM me at my main
birth over on Instagram.
And when I got there I was about four and they were like
(00:03):
we're going to start to breakyour water.
I was like, ok, so can I get ayoga ball?
And like, so I can kind ofbounce around.
And they were like, well,actually, because of the help
syndrome, we have to put you onmagnesium and because you're on
magnesium, you can't get out ofbed.
And it's like magnesium is notgoing to like.
And they were like, oh it will.
And boy were they right.
(00:24):
Magnesium's not going to like.
And they were like, oh it will.
And boy were they right.
I didn't realize the effect thatthat could have on you.
So I was like, oh great, so nowI have to ride out these very
intense contractions withoutbeing able to move my body.
Like I did my first, you know,my first labor to deal with it,
and that was kind of you knowhow I did deal with it.
(00:47):
It was moving my positions.
So I felt like I was going tobe kind of helpless.
And it was very, another veryscary moment, like, okay, so
what am I going to do?
These contractions are going tobe worse.
I know they are and they were,but I felt like the nurses were
really good, like okay, well,you know we'll help move you.
And like we'll, we'll be righthere to help.
(01:08):
And, um, I, my husband's like Iswear every time they came in
they jacked up your pictosanbecause my contractions got very
strong very fast and they wereso long and so strong Like I
don't feel like any contraction.
I had my whole first labor,compared at all to my second
labor, and I had been laboring Ithink it was at this point it
(01:30):
was 11 o'clock.
So I was like somebody needs tocheck me because I I've got to
have made some progress, I needto hear that I've made progress.
And the nurse checked me andshe's like, oh great, you're at
five centimeters.
And I remember just feeling sodefeated.
And the nurse checked me andshe's like, oh great, you're at
five centimeters.
And I remember just feeling sodefeated and I was like I have
only dilated one centimeter withall of these super strong
(01:54):
contractions.
Like, oh my God, what am Igoing to do?
And so I had read Ina May'sguide to childbirth and it talks
about the power of thisvisualization and using your
brain and like I cannot sayenough how wonderful that
approach is and I like in mymind I didn't say anything to
(02:21):
anybody, but in my mind I was.
I was like, okay, everycontraction, I am focusing on
the word open.
I'm visualizing my cervixopening and the sounds that came
out of me.
But it was that you know thatdeep guttural that they tell you
will help.
So I would.
(02:42):
I would have the start of acontraction.
It's the only way I could makeit through it, as I would just
say open, but it sounded like ademon, but it was, you know, low
guttural and I just visualizedit and I just kept saying open
in my head.
And 45 minutes later I said youneed to check me again.
And the nurse is like, okay,I'll check you again.
(03:05):
And she checked me and she'slike I'm just going to step out
for a second.
And like she went out and shewas like waving the doctor in
who had gone.
She had gone to do somethingelse for somebody else somewhere
in the hospital and she walkedin.
She's like, oh, I hear we'reready to push her at 10
centimeters.
And I was like, thank the Lord.
Angela (03:27):
I'm Angela and I'm a certified birth photographer,
experienced doula, childbirtheducator and your host here on
the my Maine Birth podcast.
This is a space where we sharethe real life stories of
families and their unique birthexperiences in the beautiful
state of Maine, from our state'sbiggest hospitals to birth
center births and home births.
(03:48):
Every birth story deserves tobe heard and celebrated.
Whether you're a soon-to-be mom, a seasoned mother or simply
interested in the world of birth, these episodes are for you.
Welcome back.
You're listening to episode 106of the my Main Birth podcast.
(04:09):
Today's birth story guest isKatie, and she's here to share
about her two birth stories atEastern Maine Medical Center in
Bangor.
Hi, katie, welcome to my MainBirth.
Hi, will you start by sharing alittle bit about you and your
family?
Kate (04:29):
Sure, so I have two little girls.
One was born in 2020 and onewas born in 2023.
So they're four and a littleover a year, and my husband also
.
We've been together for like 16years now, I guess, and we're
(04:51):
just.
You know, we've been living inMaine.
My husband's from Vinyl Haven,so he's an island boy and I'm
from Washington County, so I'mway down east and we like all of
the coastal things.
Angela (05:07):
Amazing.
Yes, it's so beautiful.
Love it here.
Yeah, vacation land.
Kate (05:15):
A place like home.
Angela (05:17):
Yeah, now to get into your birth stories a little bit.
Will you start by sharing howyou found out you were pregnant
for the first time and what yourthoughts were in choosing your
care?
Kate (05:28):
So the first time, with my first pregnancy, I actually
found out on my husband'sbirthday.
It was January 10th of 2020.
And we had actually had a lossbefore that, and so we were very
excited to find out that I waspregnant again.
(05:48):
And I don't know, I think itwas like super early in the
morning.
I was like I'm just going totake a test, just you know,
because I was hoping, and I tookit and I was so excited.
I just like ran in and I showedmy husband the test and he was
like groggy and asleep and hewas like so excited.
(06:11):
I was like happy birthday.
And I, I don't know I the reasonI chose the doctor that I did,
even though he was an hour awayfrom me, is because both of my
sisters had gone through him andmy older sister had a lot of
fertility issues and he was justvery compassionate with his
(06:34):
care with her.
So I decided to go with him andhe was amazing.
I was Dr Smith and he was.
He was just funny.
He had great bedside manner.
So I was.
I was pretty okay with thewhole idea of like a hospital
birth.
His office had recommended tome a hypnobirthing class that I
(06:56):
took.
They were very I don't knowjust supportive of everything
and they were also who I wentthrough when I had my loss and
they were so compassionate andit was just.
It was a good fit.
Unfortunately, he retiredbefore I found out I was
pregnant with my second, so itwas a very different.
(07:17):
It was kind of a panic, likewhere do I go?
Angela (07:22):
Yeah, For your second.
So did you.
Were you able to keep your carewith him throughout your
pregnancy with your first?
How was that kind of pregnancylooking?
Kate (07:31):
Very healthy.
I tell people all the time itwas.
It was not a normal pregnancy.
I don't think I felt superhuman, like I don't know what was
going on.
I had no aches, no pains.
I typically have knee pain andjoint pain.
That it was just on.
I had no aches, no pains.
I typically have knee pain andjoint pain.
That it was just on.
My entire first pregnancy I wasworking out three times a week.
(07:52):
I worked out the day before Ihad her.
You know it was.
It was amazing.
I felt wonderful.
I had no health issues, nothingat all.
So it was.
It was a great experience.
I loved being pregnant.
Angela (08:11):
Oh, that's amazing.
Yeah, it is an incredible time,for sure, and it's so
interesting how it affects allof us so differently too.
Kate (08:19):
I said it set me up for failure because my second
pregnancy I didn't have thatsuperhuman quality.
So I just felt normal and I waslike, what is this?
This is not great, it was aletdown.
Letdown yeah, it's okay, though.
It worked out.
Um, you know it was prettyhealthy.
Angela (08:39):
Um the second time around too, up until it wasn't't
tell me about the last finalweeks and then days leading up
to your labor and birth thefirst time around.
Kate (08:51):
So we kind of were shuffling houses, it.
It was kind of it was like aculmination of things.
My parents were getting a newhouse and my older sister wanted
to move closer to home.
So she did.
She wanted, she didn't want tolive in our childhood home.
So we kind of shuffled housesand I she and her husband helped
(09:15):
pack up my house and we movedall of my stuff in with my
parents while we were waitingfor their house to be built.
Unfortunately, with all of theCOVID restrictions waiting for
their house to be built,unfortunately, with all of the
COVID restrictions, it kind ofpushed our timelines.
So we were all supposed to bein our own homes but I was
sharing a home with my parentsagain and my husband has a
business out on Vinyl Haven sohe had actually come over here
(09:39):
to be on the mainland with us upthe.
It was for like two, two weeks.
So I had gone to the doctorsafter I'd been training with my
personal trainer and they said,oh, there's no change since last
week.
And I was like, oh man, I guessmaybe maybe you could go back
(09:59):
and get some work done likethere's no change.
So I'm probably good, and mydue date wasn't for another week
or so.
I thinking back now like thatwas so stupid of me, but I was
just like you'll be fine, goahead.
And at about uh, I think it waslike four, 20 ish in the morning
I had my first contraction andI'd kind of had the Braxton
(10:24):
Hicks type stuff going on offand on for a few weeks.
So it wasn't really concerningto me, but I I text my husband
just to let him know, becausethe first boat leaves at like
7.00 AM and I was like I don'tknow if you still want to go,
but just letting you know what'sgoing on.
And he was like well, do youwant me to come back?
(10:45):
And I was like no, it's fine,it's a first labor Like this
could last, you know, for a dayor two, I don't know.
I think you're good, go aheadand go.
My husband, knowing better, textmy mom and he's like can you
just go check on her?
And so she came in and she waslike maybe you should.
Just, you know time yourcontractions.
And so I did and they were fiveminutes apart pretty
(11:09):
consistently, and I was like butthey're not, they're not long
and strong, they're only like 30seconds right now.
So I don't think this is reallabor.
And she told my husband she'slike I think maybe you better
just come back.
So he did, and he got there atlike 10 o'clock in the morning
and so he, uh, he was like, doyou think we should go?
(11:31):
And I was like I don't know, Istill don't feel like this is
real labor, like it's justslightly uncomfortable, a little
bit like period cramps.
And he's like why don't youjust call Dr Smith's office and
just see what they say?
And they told me to come in andget checked and we live an hour
away from there.
So we, you know, we we got inthe car and we brought our bag.
(11:52):
And even my dad said, as wewere driving away, he's like
you're not having a baby today,you're way too calm.
And I got to the hospital and Iwas seven centimeters dilated
and they were like you'redefinitely having a baby today.
So that was kind of just how itled up.
So you, didn't have to go intohis office, you just kind of
went straight to the hospital,yep that's what they they
(12:14):
recommended, just because theywere like, how long have you
been having contractions thatare five minutes apart?
And I was like, oh, it's beenhours.
And they were like, yeah, youbetter just go right over to
labor and delivery.
And, um, they had already doneall my paperwork and everything.
So it was.
You know, I basically just hadto go and sign my name.
That said, I was there and theytook me straight up to labor
(12:34):
and delivery and I refused thewheelchair at first when I
walked in, and then I hadanother contraction and the the
I don't even remember if it wasthe guy at the door, if it was
the nurse just inside.
They're like, maybe you shouldjust sit down.
And so I did.
I listened to them, but, uh, Igot upstairs and my water broke
(12:57):
as soon as I walked through thedoor to my suite.
So it was time.
Angela (13:02):
Wow, that's cool, so share about how the rest of that
day went.
So they checked you when yougot in there, Was it they did?
They check you after your waterbroke and saw you were seven
centimeters or like was it goingin there.
Kate (13:18):
Yeah, I think that I walked through the door and my
water broke and they're likewe'll be right in to check you
and I.
So the other thing was it was,um, so Dr Smith's office
alternated weekends with anotheroffice and of course it was the
weekend that his office wasn'ton, so it was the other office
that would be delivering and itactually ended up being the
(13:40):
doctor that delivered my littlesister's son the year prior.
So I had met her before in youknow that context and it was oh
my word, it actually it was agreat experience.
Really.
I really can't complain.
I don't think I was.
Not, I didn't really want tohave an IV.
(14:00):
I have little veins and I justam not a fan of needles and I
was like I don't think I needone and I did feel like I was a
little bit pressured intogetting one, despite not really
wanting one, and I felt like ifit had been my office, they
would have been much more likeno, we're not doing that.
Also, I kept a copy of my birthplan in my diaper bag that we
(14:22):
brought with us, so, just on thechance that it wasn't my doctor
that would deliver us, and Igave it to them pretty much as
soon as we walked through thedoor, or my husband gave it to
him, I don't remember which oneof us did, but it basically said
everything that I you know mywishes and you know I didn't
want an epidural, I wanted to donatural childbirth and I didn't
(14:45):
want anything to help me alonglike pitocin.
I'd heard horror stories fromsome of my friends that had had
that and yeah, it was, it reallywas beautiful.
I mean, they were like, ok, soyou want to walk around, like
you know, do what you need to do.
They weren't using the tub,which I had really wanted, but
(15:05):
because it was COVID, they justdidn't do it.
So they offered me the shower.
But the shower was great, itwas a huge shower they had.
It was like a stand that theyoga ball went on.
So I kind of was in there for agood long time and my husband
was giving me counter pressureand he was, you know, like
(15:28):
massaging my shoulders.
He was such a trooper, hedidn't bring a change of clothes
, he was soaked from the shower,yeah.
And then towards the end there Ifelt like it was forever that I
was at like nine and a halfcentimeters and I continually
was actually asking them tocheck my cervix.
I'm like, because I have to be,I have to be done.
And finally, when it got tothat point, they were like, okay
(15:54):
, on this, you know, on this,next time you can push.
And they coached me withpushing, but it was so
counterintuitive because I haddone the hypnobirthing class and
the hypnobirthing class reallytalks about like the fetal
ejection reflex and you know, uh, breathing down and like a j
movement, and the breathing thatthey coach you to do is not at
(16:14):
all like that and I was having areally hard time getting a
rhythm.
But I say that and I onlypushed for 30 minutes, so it
wasn't that bad, but it was uh.
And also we did, um, we didn'tfind out if we were having a
girl or a boy.
(16:35):
So that moment when she wasborn and uh, dr Kaufman had laid
her on my belly and she, herlittle legs were crossed and her
umbilical cord was running upher tummy and me and my husband
look at each other.
And then we looked at thedoctor and we're like, because
it said in my birth plan doctorannounces and she's just sitting
(16:58):
there smiling, completelyforgot you know that we had
wanted that.
She was like oh yeah, it's agirl.
And you know I we had wantedthat.
She was like oh yeah, it's agirl.
And you know I cried.
I was so happy.
I think I would have been happyeither way, but I really had
been praying for a daughter, soit was a beautiful moment.
Angela (17:17):
Oh my gosh, that is beautiful.
And just all of the you knowhormones that are in your body
in that moment when you'refinding out, versus just like at
an ultrasound appointment itjust definitely adds to it all.
Kate (17:30):
We did.
I remember crying like I have adaughter.
Angela (17:35):
Oh, that's so sweet.
Kate (17:38):
It was.
It was really a phenomenalbirth experience.
I have no complaints, really aphenomenal birth experience.
I have no complaints really.
And it kind of, you know, thesecond time around, when I would
, I think I would have been finechoosing another hospital birth
.
But you know, with Dr Smithretiring and all of his staff
(18:01):
had gone to the other practicethat alternated with them, they
weren't accepting new clientsand even though I had been Dr
Smith's client I couldn't getestablished care with them and
they said, unless I was highrisk they wouldn't accept me as
a patient.
And basically I had heard thatthat was kind of what was going
(18:21):
on in Bangor at the time anywayis that we have such a shortage
of healthcare providers forpregnancy that they really
weren't accepting anyone thereunless they were high risk.
Angela (18:34):
Yeah, it's still so hard across the whole state.
So just to talk for a few moreminutes about your first birth
experience how was yourpostpartum time the first time
around?
Kate (18:51):
Well, it was.
Uh, I was.
I was extremely lucky because,you know, I had my husband here
and, even though it wasn'tplanned, my parents were also
here.
So I had a lot of support hereand my sister lived right next
door.
My grandmother lives in thesame town.
Uh, you know it was.
I'm very lucky that I have sucha connected family.
I remember the first two weeksbeing a struggle because I
decided to breastfeed and, um,she was having some latch issues
(19:14):
and I was working with alactation consultant and then I
actually had in the hospital,had OM for her, the osteopathic
manipulation, and it seemed toreally help her latch there.
So I asked if we could continuethat care.
And I'm very lucky that there'salso a provider that does that
(19:35):
a couple of towns over from me.
So that was really helping withthe latch issues.
But I feel like you kind of notthe greatest advice If you're
planning to breastfeed.
They're like, oh, you know,every two to three hours, but I
don't feel like that's realityat all.
Uh, I was breastfeedingprobably 45 minutes every hour
(19:57):
and I would have like 15 minutewindow and then to be at the
breast again and that was prettymuch around the clock first two
weeks, but after that it kindof developed into a you know it
was spacing it further out andit was about the two-week mark
that she started sleeping forlonger periods at night.
So all new mothers know howthis feels.
(20:19):
If you're like I could just getlike a solid 20 minutes, I
would feel so much better.
Plus, you're you know, being anew mom you constantly you just
can't, you can't shut it off,you can't shut your brain off,
and you're are they okay?
And you're looking and checkingon them every few minutes.
And it was like I said, it wasabout the two week mark is when
(20:41):
we kind of had settled into abetter rhythm and I was getting
more sleep and I I honestly Icouldn't tell you I felt like it
was sleeping through the night,but it probably wasn't really
sleeping through the night.
It was just the fact that wewere getting blocks and chunks
of time at night that I actuallygot a long stretch of sleep.
And yeah, she was super easybaby, though Like she's just you
(21:06):
know she was content andbecause of COVID I had so many
downfalls.
But I really feel like it was ablessing for me to be pregnant
during the pandemic Because,first of all, nobody touched me
when I was out in public.
Nobody came up and rubbed mybelly or anything.
Um, and I love my family, butalso I feel like it was really
(21:31):
special to just have me and myhusband and her for a good three
or four days in the hospital,just us, and kind of found
ourselves, you know, as parentsalready, um, without being
(21:54):
constantly interrupted byvisitors just because it wasn't
allowed so, and I didn't have toexplain it to anybody.
So there was no guilt on mypart and uh, you know, we came
home and everybody was soexcited.
You know, my, my sister hastwins and uh, they were super
excited that they had a babycousin now.
(22:15):
So it was just, it was a greatexperience.
It was super supportive.
The breastfeeding kind of fellin place.
It was.
I think it was at about fourmonths it was just out of the
newborn stage when she finallywas able to latch without a
nipple shield and she breastfeduntil she was almost three and
(22:36):
she stopped breastfeeding.
When I found out that I waspregnant with my second, it was
probably two or three monthsinto that pregnancy when she
stopped breastfeeding.
Angela (22:45):
Yeah, that's amazing and that leads right into your
second pregnancy.
So will you share about how youfound out you were pregnant for
the second time?
Kate (22:55):
So I'm a massage therapist and I was actually trading with
one of my friends.
I was like you know, maybe I'mpregnant.
And I was like I'll just take atest before I trade with
Michelle today.
So I did and I looked at it andyou know, I had waited like the
I don't know three minutes orwhatever, and I was like, oh,
(23:15):
that doesn't look positive.
And her and I had talked aboutit because we were both talking
about if we wanted more kids andyou know that sort of thing.
And then, after I'd finishedher massage, I had gone back
into the bathroom to wash myhands and I looked and I was
like that actually lookspositive.
I was like it's probably anindent line.
(23:36):
I'll take another one tomorrow.
And so I did and I was pregnantand uh, it was great, it was.
It was close to April 1st,because I remember talking to my
husband and I had told him overthe phone and he was like this
is not a good April Fool's joke.
And I was like I swear, I'mserious.
And he was like I don't thinkyou're serious, he goes, I don't
(23:58):
think you tell me over thephone like this.
And I'm like I am serious, Iswear, um.
So I had found out that way andwe actually had had a trip
planned with my family to.
We actually had had a tripplanned with my family to Disney
over April vacation and I amhorrible at keeping secrets from
(24:19):
my family, but I was veryadamant with everybody.
We were at Magic Kingdom, itwas like our first day there.
At the end of the day I waslike let's meet and have the
photographer take a picture ofus in front of the castle and I
planned on announcing that wemake it to them.
Everybody's miserable, we'reall hot, sweaty and they're like
why are you?
Like, oh, do we have to do thispicture?
And I was like, yes, we'redoing this picture.
(24:39):
So I told the photographer youknow, um, do you mind like
telling, like saying it, youknow, when you take our picture?
And she was, she was all in onthis.
So I go back over to the groupand we're getting these pictures
.
And she took like 10 picturesbefore she even said it.
And then she was like Leona isgoing to be a big sister.
(25:00):
And then she just rapid firesnapped all these pictures and
the recognition you can see likesetting in on their faces and
the pictures and I just Itreasure those pictures so much
because I've never kept a secretfrom my mother or my sister for
that long.
So I was about I think I was sixor seven weeks so I announced
(25:24):
pretty early I know it's kind ofa taboo thing to announce early
, A lot of people like to waituntil the 12 weeks.
But I know when I had my lossthat I had said in my mind after
I had gone in and they had toldme that you know I was in an
active miscarriage that I wasn'tgoing to tell anybody and I was
(25:45):
just going to deal with itmyself because I didn't want to
tell anybody.
But then I got home and I sawmy mom and my grandmother was
here and I just broke downcrying and having their support
was just not that it made iteasier, but it was just nice to
have the support.
And I my husband and I had kindof discussed it and he's like
well, what happens if we haveanother miscarriage?
(26:07):
And I was like I would ratherthem be able to celebrate with
me while we can celebrate andthen they can support me if it
goes wrong.
And everybody was so excited.
I just love my mom and my oldersister and the pictures.
They both kind of looked ateach other and it was hilarious
and my mom said to me, she goes,when the photographer first
(26:29):
said that Leona is going to be abig sister, she was like, oh, I
wonder if she knows that wehave a Leona too.
And I was like she was like,and then it set it and so that
was just.
You know, it was really greatand yeah, I so I had decided, um
, to go with a provider that wascloser to me and she has, like
(26:53):
a birth center and she very muchsuper supportive of your
choices.
She's also informative.
She wants you to be well awareof what your choices are and I
really respected that and I hadmet her kind of outside of the
context of her practice also,and you know, we just really got
along and I decided to go toher for my health care.
(27:16):
Do you care to share who?
That was?
Sure, Jarnie Thomas, down, asshe runs Women First in Machias
and she was actually in theprocess of moving her practice
from one location to anotherwithin Machias.
So I toured both of her birthsuites when she was in the first
(27:39):
place and then when they movedto the second place, and I was
like this is, this would be adream to deliver here.
And I was super excited and I,you know, I actually was really
healthy throughout my pregnancy.
My last appointment that I hadwas really healthy throughout my
pregnancy.
My last appointment that I hadwas the Monday before
Thanksgiving and we had talkedbecause I was, I was due
(28:01):
December.
I think my December 12th was mydue date and she was like so,
do you feel like you're going togo into labor?
And I was like no, I feel likeI'm, you know, I'm good.
And she's like so I was goingto go visit my parents and it's
a few hours away.
So I was like no, you're good,Go enjoy your time.
And my blood pressure was alittle bit elevated but it
(28:24):
wasn't anything super alarming.
And you know, like they checkedmy urine every week for proteins
and there was nothing there,nothing of concern I did have.
Uh, it was, they weren't.
So I failed my one hour glucosetest and she gave me the option
to come back for the three hourtest or I could monitor my
blood sugar and like my food andeverything for a couple of
(28:48):
weeks.
She said you know, I know youhave a toddler.
She's like it's hard to comesit here for like half a day
with a toddler.
So if you want to do the foodlog and the sugar checks, and I
just got like um, it was one of,you know, just one of the ones
that you can get at Walmart todo a finger stick and it kept a
log in my phone.
So you know I it really wasn'tthat hard to keep track of, for
(29:11):
it was like two or three weeksand then there were no other
concerns after that.
It was, you know, I also,morning of my one hour glucose
test, I had made donuts, freshmade donuts with glaze, which
like powder, sugar, milk andtons of flour, and I had popped
a couple of donut holes, noteven thinking about my glucose
(29:31):
test shortly thereafter.
So I was kind of like maybethat's what did it, I don't know
.
And so, like I said, the Mondaybefore Thanksgiving I had gone,
my blood pressure was slightlyelevated, but there was also
construction, the whole ridedown and I feel like that
sometimes elevated my bloodpressure and, um, like I said,
(29:55):
she was like yeah, period, youknow you're doing great.
I have any concerns with any ofyou know the tests.
You know I'll let you know.
All good.
And then I woke up the next dayand I kind of had some
discomfort.
Looking at you know hindsight,uh, it was right upper quadrant
pain.
At you know hindsight, uh, itwas right up her quadrant pain.
But I, you know it was, itwasn't.
(30:16):
It wasn't so bad that I wasunable to function.
I was just kind ofuncomfortable and, you know, I
went to sleep that night.
I woke up the next day it wasgone on Wednesday.
So I was like, oh, I'm fine.
Thanksgiving came and weactually had a whale, uh that
washed up on shore down here onPigeon Hill, kind of a big to-do
(30:39):
little town.
So everybody was going down andwe went down and we saw it and
we were driving back and I hadthis like wave of nausea hit me
and I had to pull overimmediately.
And I was, I was throwing upand my mom happened to be coming
down to see the whale.
So she saw me.
She's like are you okay?
And I was like, yeah, I thinkso.
I was like, you know, justpregnant and went home.
(31:02):
Uh, we made dinner, uh, we ateat my sister's, like we do every
year.
My in-laws were over here.
My mother-in-law had said to methough she's like you didn't
seem like yourself.
She goes.
But I didn't want to sayanything because you were
pregnant, I didn't want to makeyou feel bad.
So I, I don't know, I was justkind of uncomfortable.
(31:23):
But also, you know it'sThanksgiving, a lot going on.
I figured it was 38 weeks.
You know I'm big on.
I figured it was 38 weeks.
You know I'm big, I'm I'm goingto be uncomfortable.
And then I went to bed thatnight and I started getting that
right at up quadrant pain againand it just it.
(31:43):
It didn't get worse but itstayed the same.
I tried you know differentpositions.
I got up, I walked around andit wasn't going away and I it
was like a two o'clock in themorning and I don't know I had
this little voice in my headthat said you really the
(32:04):
hospital.
And I was like okay, I'm, I'vegot, I've got to go do this, Uh,
uh.
So I woke my husband up and Isaid I think we need to go to
the hospital and he's like areyou in labor?
And I was like I don't thinkI'm in labor, but something's
not right.
And he was like okay, so whatare we gonna do with our
(32:27):
daughter Leona?
And I was like, okay, um, well,I'll call mom.
So I called my mom.
She's like, oh my god, are youin labor?
I was like, no, I don't thinkI'm in labor, but can Leona come
stay with you?
I don't feel right and I'mgonna have Evan take me to the
hospital.
And, um, she was like, yeah,are you gonna?
She's like you should text youruh, Jarnie, and I was like I
(32:48):
don't want to bother her, andshe was like I really think you
should, though, and I was like,oh well, don't want to bother
her.
She was like I really think youshould, though, and I was like,
oh well, I'll just see what itis.
It's probably just gas.
And so we took my daughter tomy mom's, I gave her the biggest
hug, told her I loved her, andmy husband was like should we
(33:09):
bring the baby bag?
And I was like, yeah, let'sjust bring it, just in case.
I don't think I'm in labor, butyou know, you never know.
So off we went.
We went to Ellsworth, which islike 45 ish minutes away to the
hospital from my house, and wegot the.
Magically, there was absolutelynobody else in the ER, which I
don't think has ever happened toany human being in the whole
(33:30):
planet ever.
We walked in and my husband'slike okay, I'm going to go park
the car.
And I said okay, and I went upto the desk and I said I'm 38
weeks pregnant.
I said I have this pain goingon.
I just would like to be seen,just to make myself feel better.
And I don't think it took him20 minutes to get me in and get
(33:50):
my blood tested and a urinesample and everything, Like it
was super fast and I'm layingthere waiting.
And the doctor came in and shesaid you are super sick.
She said you have severepreeclampsia and and you also
(34:11):
have help syndrome and you haveto have a baby today.
And I was so scared I startedcrying.
My so my mom's cousin hadpassed away on christmas day
when she was.
She was a young mother, she was18 and she had preeclampsia and
(34:36):
like that was the voice thatwas in that the hospital was
because of that and I had noidea what help syndrome was.
I didn't realize how severe itwas.
So I texted Jarnie and I saidso apparently I'm having a baby
today.
And I told her what was goingon and she was like I'm on my
(34:58):
way right now.
She also has rights to deliverin Ellsworth.
So she was like I'll, I'll bethere as soon as I can.
And they were like okay, we'regoing to take you up to labor
and delivery.
So they took me straight upthere.
I think it was probably likefour, thirty or five o'clock in
the morning by this time whenJarnie got there and I remember
(35:19):
like when she walked into theroom, like we both were, I could
just tell by her face somethingwasn't right.
And she was like.
I said to her first I was likeI'm so sorry.
She's like why are you sorry?
I was like because it's youknow, it's you know it's
Thanksgiving.
And she's like well, no, it'snot, it's actually black Friday.
So I spent my time with myfamily and now I'm here for you.
And she's like and plus, I'mprobably going to be more sorry
(35:41):
than you are.
And, um, we had had manydiscussions throughout my
pregnancy.
Uh, I was super scared ofhaving a C-section.
My sister had one.
She had a really rough recovery.
Granted, I know differentcircumstances.
She had an emergency C-section.
She delivered at 32 weeks.
There are probably a whole hostof reasons why she had a rough
(36:02):
recovery, but you know, that hasbeen my experience and what
I've seen of C-sections, so Idid not want one.
And she said well, no, you can'thave a C-section because the
probability that you would bleedout is very, very high.
So I am not going to be able todeliver you and I'm going to
(36:26):
have to send you to Bangor byambulance.
She said we don't have theblood product here If it's not
given to you.
She said we could get you inblood product here if and to you
.
She said we could get you inright now and do a c-section.
She said, however, um, ifthings went bad, there's nothing
we could do for you.
So she's like I'm gonna staywith you and wait for the
ambulance and, um, you knowwe're gonna.
(36:48):
She said we're gonna check yourcervix before you go because
we're going to.
She said we're going to checkyour cervix before you go, Cause
they're going to want to knowhow far you are before they
induce your labor up there.
And I was like wait a second,I've got to be induced.
And she was like yeah, whichwas another one of my fears
because the pictosan I had had afriend.
She had delivered her firstchild naturally, and then she
was like the second one, I wasinduced, oh my God.
(37:10):
So lots of thoughts swirling inmy head at this point and I was
super nervous.
And there had been a nurse thereand I remember her She'd
started an IV on one side andthen she stuck me on the other
side with another IV and I wasnot really paying attention
(37:31):
because Jarni and I were talkingand I tell you if looks could
kill, jarni looked at her andwas like excuse me, like so, um,
she's like they're gonna thankme and Bangor that you have too,
and yeah, so they loaded me upin the ambulance.
Geez, it was about six o'clockI think, because it was sunrise,
(37:56):
was about six 30, and sunrisehappened as I was driving from
Ellsworth to Bangor, which islike a half hour ish, maybe a
little bit more.
And I got to Bangor, mind you,my husband had to follow us, so
he gets all this information,and he's like, so do I go to?
Do I ride with her?
And they were like, well, no,you got to bring the car, cause
(38:18):
you guys are going to have tohave a way home.
And he's like, okay, so he'slike going and frantically like
trying to get to the car so hecan follow the ambulance.
And they sent the nurse with me,who was a traveler, and, uh,
her bedside manner was not thebest.
I will say that because Ilooked at her and I said I am
(38:39):
really scared.
She said, well, probably whatwill happen when we get there is
that they're going to put youand give you a C-section
immediately.
And I was like, oh my God, andshe's like they'll have to put
you out because, you know, withthe help syndrome and everything
, and they're going gonna haveto pack you and all that stuff.
But you know, that's probablythe safest thing to do.
And I was like, well, if I'mgonna be unconscious, I said
(39:01):
you're the only person here thatcan advocate for.
So, like, this is what I want.
I want my child to have an hourof skin contact with my husband
.
I, you know, because I, becauseI didn't, I couldn't call him
at that point and I'm like youknow, I want that.
I want delayed cord clampingand like all this stuff.
And she was.
She said to me that delayedcord clamping had no benefit and
(39:28):
it was like new age, hippiestuff Basically.
She also told me that there wasreally no benefit and it was
like new age, hippie stuffbasically.
She also told me that there wasreally no benefit to the golden
hour and like just basicallyanything like.
She was like shutting me downhard and I was like I was just I
remember being speechless likewhy are you first of all in
labor and delivery anddelivering any sort of health
(39:49):
care if this is how you're goingto treat people?
So none of she I, she amped meup.
My fear was like so highbecause I'm like, oh my God,
this woman's really not going toadvocate for me, like she's not
going to respect any of mywishes and I have no way to
contact my husband and like whatif I don't see him?
(40:10):
And what if they do take me in?
And you know, my head's justswirling with all this stuff.
She was not a great experience.
Angela (40:17):
And she's also the one that poked you two times and you
weren't even expecting it,because she's like Bangor will
thank me, trying to like, solike, look good to them.
Kate (40:25):
Yeah.
So like she was probably theonly bad part of all of this
though I mean considering, Iguess she's the only person I
think that was not compassionateand caring I will say that I
guess the two young men thattook me on the ambulance they
were so nice and respectful andactually on the on the ride
(40:50):
there one of them said do youhappen to have your cell phone
somewhere?
And I was like I don't know.
And the nurse was like yeah,it's right here.
And she passed it to him andthey're like, um, what is your
husband's name?
And I was like, oh, he's inthere.
I gave him his real name andthey they were able to find him
anyway my phone and they calledhim and they're like you need to
slow down.
Angela (41:11):
He's trying to keep up with the ambulance.
Kate (41:14):
And they're like, we understand this is like a
sensitive situation and but youknow you have to drive the speed
limit, so but they, they wereso nice and, like you know, they
were very respectful and calmand like checking my vitals and
you know talking respectful andcalm and like checking my vitals
and you know talking.
(41:35):
They were just super soothingand not what you would expect
from young men who barely lookedold enough to you know drive,
let alone be emts.
Oh my goodness, oh, that'spretty wonderful and um, so I
got to the hospital and I got upto maternity and, thankfully,
(41:55):
that nurse left with theambulance crew and I never saw
her again.
And from then on, though, myexperience considering was
significantly better.
I wish I could remember all oftheir names.
I had so many people looking inon me.
So I got there and they werelike, okay, well, what we're
(42:18):
going to do is we're going toinduce labor.
I think I'd been in the roomfor maybe 15 minutes when people
I don't think I had met maybe Ihad, maybe the doctor had come
in.
Dr Heber I cannot say enoughgood things about her.
This is my first time evermeeting this woman.
She was also pregnant at thetime and she is the most calm,
cool and collected woman I thinkI have ever met in my life.
(42:41):
She really she was justphenomenal.
And the nurses I had I couldnot speak higher of them.
They were wonderful, you knowtalked me through everything,
told me, you know, we're goingto induce labor, we're going to
use pictosan, we're going to,you know, break your water.
Every step of everything thatthey did, they were explaining
(43:01):
it to me and they were just,they were so soothing, I don't
know what, like you know theirvoices, just their mannerisms,
walking me through everything.
I think my husband was in shockthis whole second labor because
he was just kind of like sittingthere in the corner wide eyed
and like, because they came inand they said, okay, so you have
(43:23):
help syndrome, we're not goingto do a C-section, that is not
safe.
What we're going to do is we'regoing to induce labor, we're
going to use pictosan, which hasits risks.
But you know you're at a goodstarting point.
I think I was three and a half,four centimeters dilated at
that point and I think I wasthree when I was in Ellsworth
when Jarni checked me and thenwhen I got there I was about
(43:46):
four.
And they were like we're goingto start pictosan, break your
water.
I was like, okay, so can I geta yoga ball?
And like so I can kind ofbounce around.
And they were like, well,actually, because of the help
syndrome, we have to put you onmagnesium.
And because you're on magnesium, you can't get out of bed.
And I was like magnesium's notgonna like.
(44:07):
And they were like oh, it will.
And boy were they right.
I didn't realize the effect thatthat could have on you until I
don't.
I don't even know how toexplain it.
It's like in those movies whereyou see people that are like
high and things are moving, butit like leaves the colors behind
(44:30):
.
That's how it felt when I wason magnesium.
Like everything just felt.
Like if I move my head, it tooka minute for my body to catch
up with the movement.
You know, I just felt it was,it was weird, it was not fun, um
, but you know you can't bewalking around if you can't, be
(44:50):
sure, on your feet.
So I also was like, oh great,so now I have to ride out these
very intense contractionswithout being able to move my
body.
Like I did my first you know, myfirst labor to deal with it.
And that was kind of you knowhow I did deal with it.
It was moving my positions.
So I felt like I was going tobe kind of helpless.
(45:12):
And it was very, another, veryscary moment, like okay, so what
am I going to do?
These contractions are going tobe worse.
So what am I going to do?
These contractions are going tobe worse?
I know they are and they were.
But I felt like the nurses werereally good, like OK, well, you
know, we'll help move you.
And like well, we'll be righthere to help.
And then there was a point Idon't know my husband's like.
(45:36):
I swear every time they came inthey jacked up your pictosan
because my contractions got verystrong, very fast and they were
so long and so strong Like Idon't feel like any contraction.
I had my whole first labor,compared at all to my second
labor, and I had been laboring.
I think it was at this point itwas 11 o'clock.
(45:57):
So I was like somebody needs tocheck me because I've got to
have made some progress.
I need to hear that I've madeprogress.
And the nurse checked me andshe's like, oh great, you're at
five centimeters.
And I remember just feeling sodefeated and I was like I have
only dilated one centimeter withall of these super strong
(46:19):
contractions.
Like, oh my, my god, what am Igonna do?
And so I had read aina may'sguides childbirth and it talks
about the power of thisvisualization and using your
brain and like I cannot sayenough how wonderful that
(46:40):
approach is and I like in mymind I didn't say anything to
anybody, but in my mind I waslike, okay, every contraction, I
am focusing on the word open,I'm visualizing my cervix
opening and the sounds that cameout of me.
(47:02):
But it was that you know thatdeep guttural that they tell you
will help.
So I would.
I would have the start of acontraction it's the only way I
could make it through it as Iwould just say open.
But it sounded like a demon,but it was, you know, low
guttural and I just visualizedit and I just kept saying open
(47:24):
in my head and 45 minutes laterI said you need to check me
again and the nurse is like okay, I'll check you again.
And she checked me and she'slike I'm just going to step out
for a second and like she wentout and she was like waving the
doctor in who had gone.
She had gone to do somethingelse for somebody else somewhere
(47:44):
in the hospital and she walkedin.
She's like, oh, I hear we'reready to push her at 10
centimeters.
And I was like thank the Lordshe was so calm though, because
she's like can you hold back onthis contraction?
Do you think you cannot push?
And I was like that isabsolutely not an option for me,
but I cannot do that.
And she was like, oh, okay,just do what you got to do.
(48:07):
And so she's breaking down theend of the table and she's just
like like, so calm and the endof that contraction.
My daughter was born, so shewas just like she caught her and
was like, oh, great, you have agirl.
And that was.
You know that.
But it was uh, it was superfast.
(48:29):
But the visualization piecereally is what saved me that
second labor.
I mean, I used it a little bitthe first time, but my
contractions built slowly overtime and like I don't remember
them being as overwhelming andas all consuming as the second
time around.
That second time around wasjust that pictosan man, yeah.
Angela (48:56):
Yeah, pictosan contractions are no joke, but
that is incredible.
The power, like the power ofyour mind is so, so amazing and
that that's incredible.
Kate (49:07):
Yeah, yeah that I mean I, I cannot say enough good things
about that book in general.
I read it my first pregnancyand my second pregnancy, like I
was like, oh, you know, I'vealready done hypnobirthing, I've
already done, like I don't needto do it again.
But um, I definitely did crackthat book open again towards the
(49:29):
end of my second pregnancy andI was like, oh yeah, like I
remember this stuff, like, oh,what great information, and I
think that's another thing thatI use.
My first pregnancy too is likeanytime I was in the car I was
listening to positive birthaffirmations, like your body can
do this, like don't be nervous,and all of those things.
And so, you know, I had usedthat before, but it definitely.
(49:54):
I didn't realize how true itwas until I was unable to move
my body and I had to.
Kind of, the only thing I hadat my disposal was my mind, and
it was.
You know, it was, it was theonly thing that saved me.
And then I feel like everythinghappened so fast after I had
had her.
(50:14):
But you know, because of thehelp syndrome, they were worried
about me bleeding out.
That was another thing.
You know, my, my levels uh,what was it?
My, my platelet levels were at60,000 when I was in Ellsworth
and they wanted at a hundredthousand if you're going to have
a C-section.
And then by the time I haddelivered, um, they had dropped
(50:38):
down to like 30 in that shortamount of time.
So they were really reallypretty worried about me bleeding
out.
So they had given me like aninjection and I ended up with
two blood transfusions after Idelivered.
I didn't realize how bad it wasuntil, like, because they were
checking my blood every sixhours because of the help
syndrome, and after my firstblood transfusion they came back
(51:01):
and they checked and then theycame back and they said your
platelet levels are stilldropping, so I think we're going
to do another blood transfusionjust to be safe.
So they did.
And then finally I think it wasabout 12 hours after birth is
when I had turned a corner andmy, you know, my blood started
looking, started looking better,and my I think it was my liver
enzymes were kind of, you know,coming down and wasn't a fan of
(51:25):
getting poked all the time.
But yeah.
Angela (51:29):
So how are you feeling during that time after birth,
throughout those times when,like were you, did the blood
transfusions make you feelbetter?
Were you feeling very depletedprior to them administering that
?
Kate (51:42):
I didn't.
I honestly didn't realize howbad it was until the next day
because I zoomed like a zoomcall or FaceTime or I don't
remember which which platform weuse, but we used one of those
and I called my sister and mymother because I they.
So they kept me on labor anddelivery for like 24 hours
(52:03):
because after I'd had her,because of the magnesium, I had
to be on it 24 hours after birth.
So I was still there and Icouldn't have visitors until
they had transferred me over.
I was, I looked awful, I wassuper pale and I I looked like
the walking dead.
I mean it was awful and I waslike the walking dead.
I mean it was awful and I waslike good Lord, don't let Leona
(52:23):
see me like this.
But I didn't realize how bad itwas until I saw myself, but
also I was in bed.
I didn't also know how bad themagnesium was until I feel like
it was after birth.
I don't know if it was becauseof, you know, the contractions
and all of that stuff that Ididn't realize like the
(52:46):
loopiness that it caused until Ihad a minute to kind of like
focus on myself and the baby andthat's when I kind of realized
that everything was slow motionand I just didn't feel normal.
So I don't know if themagnesium just kind of kept me
from realizing how crappy I felt.
But after I got transferred,you know, up to maternity and I
(53:09):
could walk again on my own and Iwas able to, you know, kind of
move around, I felt so muchbetter.
I didn't realize like I feltweak, I guess, kind of walking,
after having been in bed forstraight 24.
Well, it was more than 24 hours, because when I was in
(53:29):
Ellsworth I don't think my feettouched the floor until I
delivered after that.
So, and then, you know, we choseto breastfeed again and that
was a little bit of a struggle.
She really did not want tobreastfeed on one side.
So I don't, I don't even knowwhy she really still has a
(53:50):
strong preference, even to today.
But we we also have been.
You know she's had osteopathicmanipulation too and I feel like
that's really made a tremendousdifference and she's better
about feeding on both sides.
But it was definitely a strugglein the hospital and she would
scream bloody murder If I triedto make her nurse on the side.
(54:10):
That she did not like.
And it didn't matter whatposition I held her in If I had
her facing one way or the otherway.
I tried everything, the nursestried everything, everything.
And I even remember the nursewas like I know you really want
to go home because, also, I hadnever left my older daughter
ever prior to us going in thehospital and that was also part
(54:31):
of the plan of giving birth.
The birth center with Jarni isthat you know, I could deliver
and go home that same day andlike not really have to leave my
daughter and yeah, so she kindof.
You know, it was like four daysthat we were in the hospital
and she got to visit the daybefore we left and she took it
(54:52):
better than me actually, becausewhen she, my mom and my
grandmother came with her andthey're like, okay, we're going
to leave, and she's like no,grandmother came with her and
they're like okay, we're gonnaleave, and she's like, no, I'm
gonna stay with mom.
And I was like so, uh, whenthey left, I held it together
until she walked out the door,but then I lost it crying.
Angela (55:08):
I was like, oh, I've got to get home to this baby also
can find out all the hormonesthat you normally even
experience on day three.
Kate (55:15):
Like day three, I think that's all like it was hard and,
yeah, the the baby she wasnursing and that was another
thing.
Like my first birth to mysecond birth is like you know,
you, you, absolutely knownothing.
Not that we it's not like wegain a whole bunch of knowledge,
you know but the breastfeedingpart was a little bit easier the
(55:39):
second time because I kind ofknew what to look for.
Like I remember being in thehospital with my oldest and
pumping and not getting anything.
And I went over to the sink andI was like washing the pump
parts and I started crying.
But I was like trying to do itsilently and my husband came
over and he hugged me and he'slike why are you crying right
now?
And I was like cause I didn'tget anything and I'm not going
(56:01):
to be able to do this.
And he's like the nurse saidthat was normal.
He's like you need to like calmdown, you're going to be fine.
And like this is going to passand you know you're going to be
able to do this.
And he was right.
He's not often right, but hewas right this time.
And it really really matters,yeah and like then, you know,
(56:22):
the second time around, you knowit was like the first or second
day and like I was pumping alot, like I was getting over an
ounce, you know, when I pumped,and I just I felt like a
champion because of that.
But uh, yeah, they, they weregonna make me were like, well,
let you go home If you agree toformula feed.
(56:42):
And I was like I don't thinkthat I'm going to do that, but
like I'll agree to any terms toget out of here.
And then the nurse came in andshe saw how much I was pumping
and she's like you don't needformula.
She's like they just didn'tthink you were going to be able
to pump enough.
But if that's how much you'repumping, and I was like that was
one side and she's like, yeah,you don't need to, you don't
need the formula supplementation.
(57:03):
And she's like you're going tobe fine.
Angela (57:06):
And you're like I already need that.
Kate (57:07):
But thank you.
And the postpartum nurses, too,were absolutely phenomenal.
Like they were just upbeat andfunny and, like you know, they
were joking around with me andmy husband and they were just
super helpful.
Angela (57:27):
Everybody there was absolutely above and beyond
anything I expected for mysecond time around how the
supportive staff can make apretty horrible and scary
experience into one that reallyisn't so terrible and makes you
feel comfortable throughout.
It really makes all thedifference, right, I mean yeah.
Kate (57:49):
It really, really the staff is the main part.
I remember that was part ofwhat was so discouraging.
I think the first time when Iwas like trying to figure out
what I was feeding is, you knowI had was hot and cold
experiences.
I had one nurse that was verylike you can do this, and
another nurse is like it's notthat big a deal if you can't,
like I know she was trying to besupportive but it was like felt
(58:12):
like a slap in the face, yeah.
And then the second time aroundthey're like you've got this,
you're a champ.
Like you know, it was very,yeah, very empowering.
I, even though I I don't know Ifelt like both of my birth
experiences were very empoweringand I mean, despite the
(58:34):
scariness of the second timearound, like I wouldn't change
anything, I feel like itdefinitely gave me some insight
to some different things and,like you know, you can, you can
be healthy the whole time andthings can change in an instant.
And I know I have a lot ofpeople that say you know, like
birth plans aren't really thatimportant, but I I feel like
(58:55):
they are very important myself,especially I don't know
especially that second timearound, I'm so glad that I
actually had a birth planprinted in my bag because I had
discussed it with Jarni so manytimes and I know she knew what I
wanted inside and out, and likeshe wouldn't ever had to look
at it.
But things changed so fast thatshe wasn't able to deliver me.
(59:16):
And you know that, dr Heber, itwas the first time I'd ever met
her and you know so she wasable to have all of that
information at her fingertips.
And that was another thing is Iremember a nurse coming in on
my second, you know, and shekind of she was very like mild,
and she was like okay, I havesome information I need to share
(59:38):
with you.
And I was like, okay, and shewas like, so, you're not going
to be able to have an epidural.
I was like, oh, that's fine, Ididn't plan on having one.
She's like oh, my God, Ithought you were going to be mad
at me.
She's like I'm so glad.
She's like, because of the helpsyndrome, you can't have one
because it's, you know, it'sdangerous for you to get one.
And I was like, oh, okay, I waslike, well, I didn't plan on
(01:00:00):
having one, so I guess we'regood.
You know, not looking forwardto the the intensity of the
pictosan, but it'll all work out.
Angela (01:00:10):
Yeah, Just having that positive mindset is really like
the uh, the foundation of it all.
Yeah.
Kate (01:00:18):
Yeah, it was definitely I.
That's my biggest stressstressor.
I think to anybody that's, youknow, a first-time mom or if
it's your sixth baby, like thepower of your mind is so
important and don'tunderestimate yourself yeah.
Angela (01:00:34):
So, as a final question, if you were to give advice to
someone who's expecting, or evennew parents, what would be the
biggest thing you'd want toshare?
Kate (01:00:43):
Definitely that.
Also, I think that I feel like,as women, we often like
everybody.
You know you have yourexperiences and we all I don't
know.
I feel like there's a lot oftalking down about other
people's choices in today'sworld and I think my biggest
(01:01:04):
piece of advice to mothers islike you know yourself best, you
know what you want and likeyour experiences, and don't let
anybody tell you that what youwant is wrong for you.
Because, uh, in my family we'vehad very many of my sisters have
had very, very differentexperiences.
Like I said, my older sisterhad had a C-section, emergency
(01:01:25):
C-section at 32 weeks.
My sister had, she had a vacuumassisted birth.
She also had an epidural.
And then I had my two girls,one induced and one natural, and
both with no pain medication.
And you know, all of ourexperiences were right and they
were right for us.
And I think that's importantfor every mother to know is you
(01:01:48):
know you're doing what's rightfor you and just you know you.
You don't have to have otherpeople's approval for what
you're choosing for yourself.
Angela (01:01:59):
Yeah, I love that so much.
You really hit the nail on thehead right there with that
statement.
It's so, so true and like thatis definitely my biggest goal
with everything that I'm doinghere with my company is just
like I'm not really an advocatefor any sort of birth choice or
birth decision.
I'm an advocate for you doingwhatever you want to do and
(01:02:19):
found that really yeah.
Kate (01:02:22):
I mean there's so much information out there about your
choices and you know the risksthat you know there's.
There's risks to every choice.
I mean there were risks for meto choose a birth center.
Or there's risks to beinginduced.
There's risks to C-sectionsEverything has a risk.
You just need to C-sections.
Everything has a risk.
You just need to weigh what'sbest for you.
Angela (01:02:44):
Yeah, it totally looks different to everybody and
that's so valid.
Kate (01:02:48):
It does.
I mean, I know a lot of peoplereally like they would prefer,
you know, to have a scheduledC-section and like if that's
what works for you, then that'sthe best choice for you.
Like, yeah, I am terrified ofthe thought.
I was scared of an epidural.
Like the thought of a needle inmy spine, like that terrified
(01:03:10):
me, and that's fine that youknow that might work for some
people.
I'm a weenie, I can't do it.
Angela (01:03:18):
Yeah, and the biggest thing for me is the way women
are talked to throughout theexperience.
Like a lot of times when you'regoing through the hospital
system, you're talked to likeyou don't have a choice.
I've had several women come tome in birth trauma debrief
sessions where they were talkedto like okay, we're going to
schedule your second C-sectionjust because you already had a
first C-section.
(01:03:39):
And oh, you want to go intolabor naturally.
Even if you do, we're not goingto let you try for a VBAC,
we're not going to let you this,we're not going to let you that
.
And then women feel like theyhad to this and they had to that
because of the way they weretalked to.
My biggest thing is is that youshould know that you always
have a choice.
There are always choices.
Kate (01:03:59):
So important Exactly and you know that was also another
appeal to Dr Smith for me isthat he had one of the lowest
C-section rates you know in thearea, because you know there are
risks to being induced and likeyou may need a C-section
because your labor may stall outor, like you know, like I said
there's risk.
(01:04:19):
And you's, and you never know,cause everybody's so individual
and your body could react sodifferently to something than
somebody else you know.
And and that's the other thingis like pain levels are so
subjective and like everybodyexperiences pain on a different
you know way.
So just because you can handlea certain pain in a certain way
(01:04:44):
doesn't mean somebody else can,and like I just think we all
need to respect each other'schoices.
Angela (01:04:52):
Yeah, yes, oh, I could not agree more.
Yeah.
Thank you so much for takingthe time to chat with me today
and to share your stories.
Kate (01:05:01):
I love your podcast, so I will continue to listen and be
excited to hear new stories.
Yeah, thank you so much.
Angela (01:05:11):
Before you go, I just want to remind you I have a ton
of resources for pregnancy andbirth.
If you're pregnant, whetheryou're a first-time mom or if
this is your fifth baby, I wantyou to check out the show notes,
because I have some freetrainings and free downloads
that you can sign up for, aswell as the link to access my
Labor of Love, a comprehensive,self-paced online childbirth
(01:05:34):
education course.
I created this coursespecifically for moms who don't
want to be told what to do,regardless of where you're
birthing or who you're birthingwith, and I'd honestly love to
teach you everything that I knowso that you can prepare for an
autonomous birth experience andprepare to step into your role
as the leader of your birthjourney.
(01:05:54):
So click to the show notes,check out all of those links and
, if you ever have any questions, feel free to DM me at my main
birth over on Instagram.
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