August 4, 2025 • 56 mins
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Are you a soon to be mom, a seasoned mother, or simply interested in the world of birth? You’re in the right place!
In this episode, we discuss:
- Birth stories at EMMC in Bangor, Maine
- The special perks and unique challenges of growing a family with multiple young children.
- ….and a whole lot more!
To connect with Kelli you can find her on Instagram HERE or you can visit her website www.dailydenly.com
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CLICK HERE for 10% off the MyAutonomous Birth self-paced, online course!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Kelli (00:00):
I've learned so much over the last five years of being a
mom, and the huge majority of mylast five years of my life has
been being pregnant andbreastfeeding and taking care of
babies, and it's really been mywhole life, the last five.
So I think the biggest thing Iwould share is everything is a
(00:25):
phase.
This isn't going to be your newpermanent.
You know the baby that doesn'tsleep every night.
You will sleep again eventually.
The baby that's up crying shewill sleep or he will sleep
again eventually.
Teething comes and goes.
It's everything is temporaryand it's not permanent and you
(00:48):
will feel normal again.
I'd say like two yearspostpartum is when I started to
really feel like myself again,and so this time with the
postpartum, of course, I'm stillonly 12 weeks postpartum, so
I'm not fully feeling likemyself, but I know that I will.
So that's the beauty in havingdone this multiple times is I
(01:10):
know that there is a light atthe end of the tunnel and I will
feel like myself again and youwill feel like yourself again
and you know everything's goingto be okay.
I think it is the overarchingsentiment is everything will be
okay, even when you feel likeyou're drowning and it's not
going to be okay and nothingwill ever go back to normal
(01:32):
again.
It will, and it's going to beokay.
Angela (01:34):
You got it.
I'm Angela and I'm a certifiedbirth photographer, experienced
doula, childbirth educator andyour host here on the my Maine
Birth podcast.
This is a space where we sharethe real-life stories of
families and their unique birthexperiences in the beautiful
state of Maine, from our state'sbiggest hospitals to birth
(01:56):
center births and home births.
Every birth story deserves tobe heard and celebrated.
Whether you're a soon-to-be mom, a seasoned mother or simply
interested in the world of birth, these episodes are for you.
Welcome back.
You're listening to episode 120of the my Main Birth podcast.
(02:18):
If you've been consideringsharing your birth story here on
the podcast, let's connect.
I accept all of the stories thatare submitted to me hospital
births, birth center births, alldifferent types of home births
and everything in between.
The only requirement forsharing a birth story on this
podcast is that at least one ofyour birth stories is a main
(02:39):
birth story.
As an added bonus, all of mypodcast guests receive a gift
certificate for a familyadventure photo session on the
session day of your choice.
I host session days for mypodcast guests at iconic
locations across Mainethroughout the spring, summer
and fall.
I have spots left at all of mysession days for the rest of the
(03:01):
year.
So if you're wanting some fallfamily photos, this is the
perfect opportunity to grab some.
So if you want to join thecommunity of Maine Moms sharing
birth stories on the podcast,you can fill out the form on the
podcast page over on my website, mymainbirthcom, or you can
always send me a message over onInstagram at MyMainBirth.
(03:24):
Today's birth story guest isKelly, and she's here to share
all about her three birthstories at Eastern Maine Medical
Center in Bangor.
Hi Kelly, welcome toMyMainBirth.
Hello, so to start, would youshare a little bit about you and
your family?
Kelli (03:44):
Yes.
So hi everyone.
My name is Kelly Denley.
I am a mama of three beautifullittle girls.
I have been with my husbandsince I was 16 years old.
We're high school sweetheartsand our oldest is five, our
middle is three and we just hada baby 12 weeks ago.
So we have a very busy life.
(04:05):
They keep us very busy, butthey're beautiful and healthy
and we couldn't ask for muchmore.
We live in Central Maine and Iown my own marketing company,
katie Marketing, that I run frommy home, and I'm also a
stay-at-home mom with them aswell.
So lots of balls to juggle, buthonestly, I wouldn't want it
(04:27):
any other way.
Angela (04:28):
Oh my goodness, Amazing.
That sounds so incredible.
Would you share about when youfound out you were pregnant for
the first time and like whatyour thoughts were in choosing
your care?
Kelli (04:39):
Yes.
So we had decided in 2019 thatwe were ready to start a family.
We had been married for twoyears at that point.
So we're like okay, I thinkwe're ready now.
I originally got pregnant inMay of 2019, and we sadly lost
that pregnancy and that wasreally hard for me because that
was the first time I had everbeen pregnant.
(05:00):
So all the scary thoughts runthrough your head Is this going
to keep happening?
Can I even get pregnant?
But we are very fortunate to bepregnant again in August, and
that's when I got pregnant withmy oldest Avery pregnant.
(05:25):
Previously I kind of knew whatto look for, how I was going to
feel, because every pregnancy isso different and everyone
experiences different symptoms.
But for me, the nausea hitspretty hard.
So I woke up and I was startingto feel a little nauseous, my
chest was a little tender andobviously we had been trying.
So I remember it was like seveno'clock in the morning and I
(05:46):
shot out of bed and I was likeyou know what?
I think I'm just going to takea test just for fun and we'll
see what happens.
And it was positive right away.
And I remember just being soexcited and running and jumping
on my husband, who was fullystill asleep at this point
because we didn't have kids sowe could sleep in still and he I
(06:08):
was like crying because I justwas so excited that I was able
to be pregnant again.
And he knew immediately.
I didn't even have to sayanything.
He knew.
He was like you're pregnant,aren't you?
And I said, yes, I am.
And I showed him the test andthen, five years later, here she
is.
Angela (06:27):
Oh my gosh, that's so special.
So, how was that pregnancylooking for you?
How are you feeling so?
Kelli (06:35):
with my oldest.
My pregnancy was prettytextbook.
I had morning sickness forpretty much my entire first
trimester.
Although I didn't reallyphysically get sick a lot, I
just kind of felt nauseous allday long, which almost kind of
felt worse because I felt like Iwas always just on the brink of
(06:55):
about to throw up but neveractually got sick, and that was
all day.
I ended up losing like 10pounds in my first trimester
with her because I was just sonauseous I couldn't even think
about eating.
Coffee just tasted like dirt tome.
Food was the least appealingthing ever.
I think I ate so many bakedpotatoes and like boiled carrots
(07:20):
because they taste like nothing.
I don't want to eat food thathas any flavor.
I just need to eat to like stayalive at this point, and
luckily I was able to shake thataround like 14 or 15 weeks and
then I had a pretty good sweetspot for a while there and into
my second trimester, my thirdtrimester I'm trying to remember
(07:43):
now.
I think it was pretty typical,other than it being COVID.
She's a COVID baby, so she wasborn in May of 2020.
In March of 2020 is when theworld kind of went crazy pants
and I remember being so scaredbecause I'm know I'm a first
(08:05):
time mom this is my first timecarrying a pregnancy this far
and everyone suddenly and masksand you're not allowed to leave
your house, so it was prettyscary.
Angela (08:17):
Yeah, I'm sure it was.
What were your thoughts inchoosing your care?
Had you thought about it beforeyou got pregnant?
Kelli (08:24):
I had never even thought about a birth plan before.
I'd gotten pregnant before.
And then when COVID hit and allthe hospitals were being
overrun with COVID patients andeveryone was in PPE from head to
toe, I got a little nervousabout delivering in a hospital.
I had looked into birthingcenters but truthfully, my
(08:46):
insurance just didn't cover itand we didn't have the cost to
cover out of pocket.
So we did end up going with ahospital birth and I did have a
very positive experience,thankfully.
But I could not tell you whatone of my nurses or doctors look
like, because everyone was likemasks, hairnets, shields, like
(09:07):
full body gear.
I had to take three COVID testswhile I was there.
I had to labor with a mask on,so it was a very different
experience, for that being myfirst pregnancy, it's kind of
all I knew, so I didn't haveanything to compare it to.
But now, having had kids out ofCOVID, I'm like wow, what a
(09:28):
weird sci-fi experience that was.
I really felt like I was insome sort of alien movie,
because everyone just you didn'tknow what they look like other
than the picture on their badges, and my husband could not leave
the hospital, like once we werechecked in.
They're like you're here, likeyou can't leave.
(09:48):
So we had to have people likedrop food off at the security
door and he would like go downand get it and bring it up, like
if we didn't have somethingwith us at the hospital.
We just didn't have it.
So we packed quite a bit thatfirst time.
Angela (10:04):
What was your care looking like throughout the
pregnancy?
Because you sort of startedlike before COVID and then yeah,
so like what was that kind oflike?
Kelli (10:12):
So my appointments were pretty standard.
You know, at first you go in.
I think because of my historyof a miscarriage, they did see
me a little bit earlier.
They saw me at seven weeks asopposed to like the nine or 10
that they usually do, and I hadregular appointments every six
weeks and then every four weeks.
And then I want to say I wassomewhere in like my late 20
(10:35):
weeks to maybe like 30 weeksalong.
I was definitely my thirdtrimester when COVID and like
lockdown and everything happened, and after that it was you had
to sit in your car and wait foryour appointment.
You couldn't sit in the waitingroom and, yeah, I couldn't
bring my husband with me anymore, so it was just me going to the
(10:56):
appointments.
And again, this was my firsttime being pregnant, so this was
all very jarring being pregnant.
So this was all very jarring.
And then my doctor obviouslystarted wearing a mask and
gloves and all the PPE for everyvisit.
I had to wear a mask for everyvisit.
The care itself stayed prettystandard.
(11:16):
They did an ultrasound forevery visit that I went to check
my blood pressure.
I did end up having high bloodpressure at the end of my
pregnancy, so I was induced withmy first at 39 weeks, just due
to the concern of my bloodpressure getting too high.
Who did you?
Angela (11:34):
choose for your care.
Kelli (11:36):
So I went to Downeast OBGYN and I saw Dr Rumsey.
I have nothing but positivethings to say about the office.
I love the office, I love thenurse.
He answered all my questions.
He was really straightforwardand I like that.
I don't like to beat around thebush.
If I ask you a question, I justwant the answer.
Good, bad, ugly Just tell mewhat it is.
(11:58):
So he was very straightforwardbut also comforting at the same
time too, because again thingskind of got flipped on their
head a little bit and he wasvery reassuring that like,
listen, you're going to be okay,your baby's going to be okay,
like I know the world looks alittle scary right now, but like
you're going, it's going to beokay.
So that was very comforting tohear and feel in the midst of
(12:23):
chaos.
Angela (12:24):
So yeah, what were the final weeks and then days
leading up to when your laborstarted looking like?
Kelli (12:32):
The last few weeks I ended up at this point.
I was working for a company andthey let me transition to
working from home full time.
So, like the last like sixweeks of my pregnancy
transitioned to working fromhome full-time.
So the last six weeks of mypregnancy I did not leave my
house at all, other than forvisits at the OB office.
I was in lockdown and the lastvisit at the office I was 39
(12:58):
weeks and my blood pressure wasjust a little too high for
comfort.
And so he called and he saidhow do you feel about going to
the hospital tonight?
And I was 39 weeks along and Iwas like, oh, wow, okay, I
should probably call my husbandand let him know we're having a
baby like tomorrow.
And so we went in that nightand they gave the, gave me the
(13:24):
medicine to soften my cervix andI had pre-labor all night.
I slept fine now, um, and babywas good.
She was good.
That next morning he came around8 AM and he broke my water and
I had a very fast labor fromthere.
Even though it was my first, itwas, it was pretty quick.
(13:44):
They did start me on Pitocinright after he broke my water
and I'd say that was probablylike eight o'clock and she was
born like noon.
So I went from like twocentimeters dilated to fully
dilated within a span of just afew hours.
When she was there I did end uphaving an epidural around like
(14:06):
probably like seven centimeters.
I didn't want to wait too longso they wouldn't give it to me,
but I didn't want to have it tooearly to slow down my progress.
So I tried to time it prettypretty good, um.
And then he was like this isyour first, so it's eight
o'clock now.
I'll probably see you at likefive or six o'clock tonight,
(14:26):
Okay, and when the nurses camein and checked me at like 1130,
they said don't push, thedoctor's not here.
Don't do anything until thedoctor gets here.
And I was able to have her outin like probably three pushes
maybe, maybe like 15 minutes ofpushing.
Very lucky, very fortunate forthat.
(14:47):
Um and I only tore a little bit.
So overall a very positivebirth experience.
Despite all the obstacles thatwe were thrown, um, I have no
complaints about her, her birthat all.
Angela (15:00):
Wow.
So how was your postpartum withher?
Kelli (15:04):
Again, it was a very positive.
I feel pretty by the bookPostpartum Experience.
They stitched me up and I wasable to walk within like an hour
of the epidural being taken out.
That first postpartum showerfeels amazing.
You feel like a new personafterwards.
Her care was great.
(15:25):
I kept her with me pretty muchthe entire night.
Again, we did end up having tostay, so now what they do is
they take you from the labor anddelivery to the recovery room,
but because it was COVID, westayed in the same room the
entire time, which honestlyworked out really great because
those rooms are a lot biggerthan recovery rooms and the
(15:45):
showers are a lot nicer.
But overall it was a greatexperience.
We were in and out within likea 48-hour window and no
complaints.
Truly.
Angela (15:58):
How were things once you got home and settling in with a
new baby?
Kelli (16:02):
It was an experience.
I exclusively nurse all of mybabies, so learning how to
breastfeed for the first timewas really interesting.
It was very painful, but I wasvery passionate about it.
I was like, no, I want tobreastfeed my kids.
So I stuck through it and Idon't know if a lot of women
know this, but Medela offers a24-hour lactation consultant for
(16:26):
free resource and I actuallyended up reaching out to them
and they sent me like a wholeguide.
I filled out this questionnairelike this is what I'm
experiencing, this is what I'mstruggling with, and the
lactation consultant sent meback a bunch of tips and it
really truly helped a lot,because I don't know anybody
(16:47):
that breastfed.
So I was like what is a letdown?
Why is she choking?
What is going on?
Why do I hurt so bad?
And she was able to answer allthose questions for me.
So I was able to nurse her fora full year after that.
Angela (17:04):
Oh, that's incredible.
So how did you find out youwere pregnant for the second
time?
Kelli (17:10):
Yes, so I knew once we started having kids I did not
want to have huge age gaps.
I kind of just wanted to likerip the bandaid off, if you will
.
I was like let's just, let'smake these our baby years and
just boom, boom, boom, get itdone in a good way, get it done
in a good way.
So my daughter had turned ayear old and I had found out I
(17:34):
was pregnant like a week beforeher first birthday, and again,
sadly, we lost that pregnancy aswell.
So I had waited maybe anothertwo months and then we got
pregnant again in.
Angela (17:48):
August again.
Kelli (17:50):
So all of my kids' birthdays are within like a
three-week window.
August is like a happy spot forus.
For some reason my fertility isgreat in August, so I'll take
it.
Her birth experience was verydifferent.
Her pregnancy was verydifferent.
Actually, I thought she was aboy for the longest time, cause
I had felt way worse with her.
(18:11):
Um, finding out I was pregnantwith her was not that surprising
, because again, we were trying.
So it was a random morning Ijust decided I hadn't even
missed my period yet, but I waslike I'm pregnant.
I know how this feels at thispoint, at this point.
This is my fourth pregnancy, mysecond kid, but my fourth
(18:34):
pregnancy.
So I know how I feel, I knowwhat to expect at this point and
I took the test.
It was positive.
I was very excited but alsovery scared because again I was
coming off of another loss.
Just a few months prior theysaw me early again just because
(18:54):
of my concerns that I had withmy losses and to my happiness,
she had a heartbeat and she washealthy.
It was another girl and herpregnancy.
I was physically sick, a lotmore so.
With Avery I was just morenauseous.
My middle daughter her name isEvelyn.
With Evelyn I got sick a lotmore.
(19:17):
So I was like every othermorning just throwing up first
thing in the morning and mylittle one-year-old is like
rubbing my back because mommy'ssick, but still trying to be as
present as I could be for her.
The pregnancy exhaustion hitway harder this time because I
had a little what I was chasingaround.
(19:38):
But overall a pretty positivepregnancy as well.
I think I shook the sicknessaround 17 weeks, a little bit
longer with her.
Oh, something different withthis pregnancy is I did
experience a hypothyroid so Ihad to be put on medication
around 10 weeks pregnant withher to counteract the
hypothyroid.
(19:58):
I got really swollen with this.
She was my biggest baby.
She's my biggest pregnancy andshe's my biggest baby.
My first baby was seven poundsfive ounces.
Evelyn ended up being likeeight pounds 10 ounces.
She was a big girl and I gotreally, really swollen towards
the end of my pregnancy with her.
We were just coming out of COVIDso I was able to sit in the
(20:22):
lobby again.
I was able to bring my husband.
You were able to have oneperson with you.
I went back to Downey's OBGYNand saw Dr Rumsey again, so the
care was a little less foreignto me because I had one gone
through it again.
I've gone through it previously, but it was starting to be a
(20:42):
little bit more personal againbecause a lot of the COVID
regulations were starting to notbe so strict.
I did still have to labor witha mask on in the hospital, but
it wasn't as bad because the atleast the nurses only had masks
on at this point.
They didn't have to have thefull body suit to help me in
(21:06):
labor, so they looked a littlemore human this time.
That helps.
Angela (21:12):
Yeah, Because you're in these altered states of birth
and looking around right.
Kelli (21:17):
It was.
It was crazy, and I wearglasses, so I don't know if
anyone else experienced thiswhen they had masks.
But when you breathe with yourmask on, especially like heavy
breaths, like the fog goes up toyour glasses and God bless
these nurses.
They felt so bad for me, Icould tell one of them ended up
pulling my mask off during laborbecause I like literally
(21:39):
couldn't see.
My glasses are so fogged upbecause of the air from my mask
being pushed up into my glassesthat she literally just pulled
my mask down for me and I waslike thank you, one, I can
breathe now.
Two, I can see.
So things got a lot better.
After that I was like thank you, there's a little bit of
(22:02):
humanality, so this is a littlebit more human connection.
I'd also I was like I've beenCOVID tested three times since
I've been here.
Why do I have to wear this mask?
Like you know, I don't haveCOVID.
You've tested me every fourhours and I haven't gone
anywhere.
So yeah, it was again thatlabor was interesting.
Angela (22:25):
Is there anything else you want to share about your
pregnancy with her?
So her pregnancy was pretty,pretty standard.
Kelli (22:31):
After I got over the sickness in my first trimester,
my second was very, it was abreeze.
I'm very lucky to have secondtrimesters easy second
trimesters and then my third.
Again, I just got reallyswollen with her I want to say
that probably has something todo with the hypothyroid and then
my labor with her.
I ended up going into naturallabor with Evelyn.
(22:53):
Uh, my blood pressure was fine,but I had never experienced
natural labor before because Ihad an induction with my first.
So it was like midnight and mycontractions got a little
heavier, they got a littlecloser together and they felt a
little bit more real.
I had had Braxton Hickspreviously with Avery.
(23:16):
I'd had Braxton Hicks withEvelyn, but I was starting to
experience.
I'm like no, these, I thinkthese are not those.
I think these are real, I thinkthese are doing something.
And it was about midnight that Itold my husband that,
thankfully, my dad was stayingwith us at the time because of
his job.
Um, my parents lived two hoursaway at the time and his job was
(23:38):
here, so he was staying in ourguest room while he was working
throughout the week.
So I didn't have to worry aboutgoing into labor at midnight
and not having somebody to staywith my baby, um, so I my dad
was up and my husband was up.
I was bouncing on a ball atmidnight and I was like, okay,
everyone, let's try to get somesleep.
(23:59):
I think I'm going to go intolabor, but let's just try it,
let's see what happens.
And it was two hours later, 2am, I woke my husband up and I was
like we got to go to thehospital.
This is starting to really hurt.
I haven't slept at all.
Is it getting closer together?
Let's call the doctor.
They told us to go in.
They put me in triage, theychecked me and I was only At
(24:23):
that time, I think I was onlythree centimeters.
But my step-mom had drove up twohours at 2 am from where my
parents had lived, where theirhouse was, and I was like listen
, I have someone driving at 2 amto stay with my daughter.
I am not going home.
So I said what do I need to doto induce this labor so I can be
(24:47):
admitted and get out of triage?
And she said we needed you atleast at a four to consider you
an active labor.
I said done.
I walked the labor ward forprobably two hours.
I did not sit down, I just didcircles around the labor floor
and bounced on a ball and dideverything I could to get my
(25:09):
contractions stronger and closertogether.
And when she came back andchecked me I was at a four and
it was at 4am and I was admitted.
I was like, yes, I did it, I'min.
And then I slept because Ihadn't slept at all.
The doctor came and saw me.
I actually had a midwife thistime.
(25:30):
She worked at the same office,but Rumsey was not in the office
.
I think he was on a vacation orsomething.
So I had a midwife come andcheck me.
Was it Raylene?
It was Raylene.
Yeah, I adore her.
I absolutely love her.
I love all the providers I'veexperienced at Downy's OB-GYN
but I'd have to say she'sprobably she's at the top of the
(25:51):
list for experience for me.
I say this all the time I havefriends and family that are
nurse practitioners.
I have tons of friends that arenurses and I just think it's a
different level of care when youhave a midwife and a nurse
practitioner, because they'vehad to go through being a nurse
previously so they know how tobe a little bit more hands-on,
(26:14):
they understand like bedsidemanner and care a little bit
better.
I mean, raylene sat and talkedwith me.
She like offered me popsicles.
She was just a little bit morepresent in my labor and I fully
attribute that to her being amidwife and not an OB.
Both were great experiences butit's just a different level of
(26:37):
connection.
She delivered Evelyn, so shecame in, she broke my water and
they started me on Pitocin.
I did get an epidural withEvelyn.
Unfortunately it was not a goodexperience.
The second time around theyended up doing a what's it
(26:57):
called Like a spinal yeah, whereit goes like a little too far
and it's not in the right spotto be considered an epidural
anymore, and that was prettypainful, like I could probably
point out on my back where itwas like it still hurts to this
day, and so I ended up having tohave a blood patch procedure
(27:18):
after Evelyn's epidural.
I don't remember what it'scalled, but something happens
where you get like these severemigraines, and that ended up
happening to me.
When I got home and dischargedfrom the hospital.
I almost couldn't keep my headup because it just was in so
(27:38):
much pain and I ended up havingto go back to the hospital to
have a two-hour procedure donewhere they took blood from my
arm and inserted it into wherethe epidural needle was put into
my spine to create a clot,basically All while trying to
(28:01):
take care of a newborn.
She was a day old at this pointand, again, I'm exclusively
breastfeeding, so I was like,listen, I need this procedure
done.
I understand, but I have anewborn that I need to
breastfeed in two hours, solet's try to streamline this a
little bit.
And they did.
They were understanding, so Iwent in and got the procedure
(28:24):
done.
Again, it was still weirdregulations at the hospital, so
she couldn't come in with me somuch.
She actually sat in the parkinggarage with my dad for two
hours in the car while I wasgetting this done because my
husband was home with our one ortwo year old Um and thankfully
the procedure took right away.
(28:45):
That headache went away almostimmediately and I was fine.
I was good to go.
Angela (28:51):
How were things kind of looking with your birth after
you got the epidural?
Kelli (28:55):
Yeah, so afterwards I didn't immediately feel the
headaches after the epidural.
I knew that my epidural wasbotched, though I could feel it.
Just in comparison with Averyit was pretty textbook.
It worked the way it needed towork.
It came out fine.
It was.
You know.
It worked the way it needed towork.
It came out fine.
It was great.
I could feel the difference withEvelyn's epidurals so I knew I
(29:15):
was like this doesn't feel right.
The headaches didn't set onimmediately so I couldn't really
tell that something wasn'tright until a day afterwards.
But my care with her.
I was transferred to a recoveryroom.
At that point they had startedmoving patients' rooms again, so
(29:36):
I was put in a recovery roomwith her.
The nurses were great, the carewas fine.
I was discharged again prettyfast because luckily I'm a
pretty good recovery.
My bleeding is pretty moderate.
She latched fine, so thatwasn't an issue.
She looked good, so everythingwas good to go and we were
(29:58):
discharged within probably like36 hours.
The only thing is when we gothome is when the headache
started to set on and I didn'treally know what was wrong
because no one had explainedthat to me.
So I think that's the only thingthat I wish I could change is
someone would have told me hey,you might experience this, so
(30:19):
you know what signs to look for.
I ended up calling Dr Rumseyand he was great.
He had great follow through.
He actually is the one thatmade the appointment for me to
go in to get the procedure doneand he did a follow up with me
afterwards as well.
So I have great, great thingsto say about Downy's OBGYN and
their follow up care.
(30:39):
He really, even though Raylenewas the one that delivered
Evelyn Rumsey did a great followup to make sure that I was good
to go afterwards a greatfollow-up to make sure that I
was good to go afterwards, andthat was probably like a two to
three day process of having herbeing discharged, getting home,
having the headaches from theepidural complications going and
(31:00):
getting the procedure donebeing fine.
That was probably like a threeday window there.
Angela (31:06):
Yeah, oh, wow, that's tough, but still good that they
caught it kind of quick and likewe're able to help you right
away.
Yeah, yes.
Kelli (31:15):
I was very fortunate to be able to get in right away
because I said, listen, I'm I'mlike exclusively nursing a baby.
I have a two-year-old, like,yes, I have a good village at
home to help me, but like I needto be able to be present to
take care of my babies, um, sothey were able to get me in and
out really fast.
So I was very, very lucky andI'm glad for that, because I've
(31:36):
had.
My girls are two years apart,so even though she, my oldest,
was two I mean two is still verymuch a baby, so she's still
really needed mom to help takecare of her.
Um, and again, exclusivelybreastfeeding my baby.
I was like, no, I need to bepresent, I need to be like aware
of what's going on so I cantake care of my kids and not be
(31:58):
in pain.
So, yes, they fully understoodthat and I received good care,
so, yeah, yeah, yeah, soimportant.
Angela (32:08):
So how was your postpartum time with her kind of
after those first few days andyou got a little more settled.
Kelli (32:16):
Yes.
So my husband was able to behome for I think it was like a
little under two weeks, just shyof two weeks, and I remember
thinking when he went to work ohmy gosh, what have I done?
I just went from having onebaby to focus on and having my
full attention on her to now myattention is split down the
(32:37):
middle and I have two babies Ineed to take care of, and I
would say the transition fromone to two kids was the hardest
and it was solely just because Ihad not been used to having to
split my attention.
So whenever moms ask me who aregoing into having multiple kids
, I say it's hard and you'regoing to struggle a little bit,
(33:01):
probably in the beginning, or atleast I did but you get into a
routine.
Those instincts with yoursecond come a little bit easier.
For me, I felt more confidentin my mothering skills.
I didn't second guesseverything that I was doing.
My postpartum care was waydifferent because with my first
I was able to like lay in bedand recover when you're already.
(33:22):
Have a toddler that you have tochase around.
Have a toddler that you have tochase around.
She doesn't really care thatyou're in a diaper.
She wants to go play.
So I was out of the house a lotsooner with my second
postpartum.
But I still had a really easypostpartum recovery With my
(33:47):
second.
When I went back to get my sixweek blood work done my
hypothyroid had gone away so Iwas able to stop the medication
and I was very fortunate to haveno postpartum depression, no
postpartum anxiety.
I have a very strong villagearound me for my friends and
family so I was able to lean onthem a lot and vent when I
(34:07):
needed to vent.
I had someone come sit withAvery when I needed it.
I'm very lucky, I'm veryfortunate in that sense.
So postpartum wise, I was goodto go.
Angela (34:21):
Amazing.
Yeah, it's really so helpful tohave that village.
Kelli (34:24):
Yes, my heart really goes out to the moms that don't have
a strong village around themand I really hope that I'm able
to be that village for myfriends, because I just know how
important it is for mama'ssanity to have someone around to
help her, not only like carefor the babies, but even just
sometimes to like hear you out,like sometimes you just want to
(34:46):
vent.
It's been a hard day.
The kids are crazy, the kidsare loud.
I'm overstimulated, I'm touchedout.
Tell me all the things.
Go ahead, vent it out.
You're not annoying me, I'm notoverwhelmed by this.
Just get it off of your chest,because that's sometimes just
all you need.
You don't always need someoneto just fix it, you just need
someone to hear you out, and I'mhopefully I'm able to be that
(35:12):
for my friends, as they are forme too.
Angela (35:14):
So, yeah, yeah, having that support is so helpful.
Kelli (35:19):
Yes, it helps the.
You know I I value mygirlfriend relationship so much
because if it wasn't for mygirlfriend, I'm like I don't
know what I would do.
Like those, those ladies helpkeep me sane.
I don't know what I would dowithout them.
Angela (35:33):
And it's so true, like maybe you don't necessarily need
someone to be right there withyou in, like the day to day,
like after you know this firstinitial postpartum passes, but
just to have someone you knowcall and check in like how are
you doing today, you know, likecan really make a big difference
.
Kelli (35:48):
Yes, I had friends drop me off coffee, friends drop me
off flowers.
I've um my first postpartum onmy friend again, it was COVID,
so they were all very wearyabout coming over.
But I had, um, one of myfriends sent me like a Walmart
delivery of a bunch of likefreezer meals and just like easy
things to cook.
And again with my seconddelivery my friends would bring
(36:11):
over Haniford gift cards andthings, just things to help make
the transition into a family ofthree to a family of four
easier.
And that's never something thatI took lightly, that's
something that always brought meto tears sometimes.
Just the support from ourfriends and family of you know
how much they love and upliftour family.
(36:31):
So I hope I'm able to, and Iwas able to do that for them as
well.
You know, flowers, coffee, letme do your dishes.
Go take a shower.
She's good.
I like I can tell you haven'tshowered in like two days.
She might cry.
She's going to be fine.
Go take a shower.
I'll hold her.
She's going to be alive whenyou get back, I promise.
Angela (36:52):
Yeah, so true.
Oh, that's amazing.
When did you find out you'repregnant for the third time?
Like, what was that lookinglike for you?
Kelli (37:01):
Yes.
So this last pregnancy was verydifferent.
We waited longer this time,which I find is a pattern.
I find that a lot of familieshave the first two back to back,
which is exactly what we did,and then you're like, wow, this
is a lot.
One to two kids, that's a lot.
Let's wait a little bit longer.
So there's a three-year age gapbetween my middle and my
(37:24):
youngest, so not that muchlonger, but I was like I think I
need an extra year to recoverfrom this.
Get a little bit of my pinkback, if you will.
So it was this past summer.
We had decided.
I was like I don't think I'mdone, I think I want one more.
And he agreed he's like I thinkwe need one more to complete
(37:44):
our family.
So it was this past summer.
Again in August, I found out Iwas pregnant with her, with this
one.
It was a little bit more of asurprise because she's waking up
.
Angela (38:01):
Pause.
Kelli (38:01):
That's fine, take your time.
When we had decided to have ourthird child, we initially
talked about like the fall andthe winter trying to get
pregnant because we had alreadyhad two of our kids in the
spring.
So let's try to space this outa little bit more and we were
being careful and cautious allbut one time, and that one time
(38:24):
is now three months old.
All it took was that one time.
I was very fortunate for thatand I also.
When I found out with herpregnancy, I got immediately
nervous because I had had apattern loss, baby, loss, baby.
So when I found out I waspregnant with her, that initial
anxiety of am I going to losethis pregnancy hit, and I was
(38:49):
very fortunate that it didn't.
So that's something that wasdifferent about this pregnancy
was I was not coming off of aloss, and I think I was able to
be a little more present, alittle less anxious this time
around with her, because when Iheard her heartbeat I was like,
okay, this is good, she's goingto be okay, and that relief of I
(39:12):
can breathe went away.
Although I wasn't nearly asnauseous with her, I was a
little nervous because when youdon't feel those symptoms,
you're like okay, what's wrong?
Is she okay?
Is everything going to be okay?
She took it really easy on me.
(39:33):
As far as nausea, the exhaustionwas my biggest symptom with her
pregnancy.
It could also just be I waschasing two other kids around,
so that didn't help with me notfeeling tired, but other than
that I was able to eat what Iwanted to eat.
I slept fine at night.
(39:54):
I got sick maybe one or twotimes.
Her pregnancy was by far theeasiest pregnancy.
I've had no hypothyroid thistime around and she was as
healthy as could be.
So, yeah, and we found out onChristmas that we were having a
third girl.
Angela (40:15):
Oh, that's so fun.
Kelli (40:17):
Yes, my friend went to my my ultrasound with me and they
handed her the piece of paperand she wrapped up a little
onesie for us and my daughterswere able to open it on
Christmas and it said littlesister on it and we're like, oh
my gosh, here we go, girl roundthree yeah, at this point I mean
(40:38):
three daughter.
I wouldn't even know what to dowith the son at this point
because I'm just so immersed ingirl world that, honestly, I
just feel like I was meant to bea girl mom.
Angela (40:47):
I love it.
Oh, oh, my gosh, that's sosweet.
So how were like the finalweeks and then days?
Kelli (40:57):
leading up to when your labor started looking like.
So my pregnancy was so, so easywith her.
I hate to say it, but it reallywas so easy with her.
Um, the final weeks I did startto swell, which is pretty
typical for me, but my bloodpressure was looking fine.
My thyroid and blood work cameback totally normal.
I was 39 weeks when I went intonatural labor with her.
(41:24):
I had, at this point, I feltexperienced.
I was, you know, not a firsttime mom, not a first time into
labor and delivery, not a firsttime going into natural labor.
I knew the signs to look, forit was a weekend.
Friday I had started to havestronger Braxton Hicks.
I was like, okay, I think theseare starting to do something.
(41:46):
And it was going into a weekend.
So I was like, all right, well,there's not going to be a
doctor's office open, so let'sjust, let's wait and we'll see
what happens.
I tried not to call immediatelybecause I knew I was like I
don't want to sit in triage forfour hours again.
Let's wait, let's wait a littlebit.
So Friday I could feel theBraxton Hicks getting a little
(42:08):
stronger.
Saturday, I definitely was inpre-labor.
I was like, okay, these aredoing something.
These aren't in vain, these aresomething.
Things are starting to movealong.
And then it was probably 5 am onSunday morning.
I had lost my mucus plug and Ihad hardly slept that night
(42:31):
because of the Braxton Hicksthat were turning into real
contractions.
And I woke up about 5 am,before anybody else was awake,
and I started to bounce on myball and time my contractions.
I said, okay, these are about10 minutes apart at 5 am, but
they're strong, they're doingsomething, I can feel them,
(42:53):
they're taking my breath away alittle bit.
And around 7 am is when therest of my house woke up.
My husband got up.
I said I've been timing mycontractions.
Currently they're about eightminutes apart and getting
stronger as we speak.
And he said, okay, well, let'swait about a half an hour, we'll
see what happens.
Angela (43:12):
Sounds good to me.
Kelli (43:14):
They got stronger, they got closer together.
This is my third time around,so it was pretty fast at this
point and about 7.30, maybeeight o'clock, I called the
on-call number and I gotconnected with Dr Kaufman and
she said okay, tell me what'sgoing on.
(43:34):
I said, well, as of right now,they are five minutes apart and
they're strong and I don't knowwhy.
In my head I thought she wouldsay okay, let's wait another
couple of hours to see whathappens.
No, she's like you need to getto the hospital right now.
Within the next half an hour.
(43:55):
You need to be at registration.
She's like this is your thirdbaby.
I said yes, she's like yeah,you need to go.
So I was like oh, okay,thankfully my parents had moved
up closer to us at that point,at this point, so they were only
10 minutes away, not two hours.
I called my parents.
They came over.
This was around like 8.30.
(44:18):
I had gotten to the hospital atnine.
Registration in my room at 9.30.
Vivian was born at like 11.30.
So it was very fast.
It was like 5 am contractions.
7 am timing them.
8 am call the doctor.
(44:40):
9 am check in.
11.30, baby.
Like boom, boom, boom, boom.
Oh, my gosh.
Angela (44:44):
So it was Dr Kaufman that met you in there that day,
9am check in 1130 baby like boom, boom, boom, boom, I labor.
It was Dr Kaufman that met youin there that day.
Kelli (44:49):
Yes.
So Dr Kaufman was the one thatwas on call that weekend and,
funny enough though she didn'tdeliver her, a resident
delivered her, I think.
They looked at me and they werelike she's a third time mom,
probably a good experience forsomeone learning.
(45:10):
And so it was.
Yeah, it was a resident thatdid a great job.
She did a phenomenal deliveringher, honestly, so she'll
probably make a great doctorsomeday.
I did end up getting theepidural, but I went into
natural labor as much as I could.
I was probably like eightcentimeters.
I'm actually very surprisedthat they gave me the epidural
(45:31):
because of how fast I wasprogressing, but I knew I was
like, oh, I got to ask for itnow, because if I don't ask for
it now they're not going to giveit to me.
I was very nervous aboutgetting an epidural again just
because of my previousexperience with Evelyn's labor,
but I communicated that to theanesthesiologist.
I said just, I'm going to betransparent.
My last epidural was not a goodexperience and this is why and
(45:53):
he was very careful and I couldtell that he really took his
time and really took what I said.
And you know he said I'm goingto communicate everything that
I'm doing.
I need you to communicate whatyou're feeling, cause that's
just going to further help memake this better for you and so
I.
We had great communication andVivian Vivian is my third
daughter Vivian's epidural wentway better, way better
(46:16):
experience.
I don't know how effective itwas, because I gave delivery
Like I delivered her like 20minutes after I had the epidural
, so I don't even know if itreally worked at that point, but
in my mind it helped and Iguess that's all that mattered.
So how was your birth?
My birth with her was very fast.
It was maybe 10 minutes ofpushing and I was able to get
(46:42):
her out.
I didn't tear this time, sothat was really nice.
No stitches is my first time nostitches.
She was eight pounds, twoounces came fast and furious,
healthy, as could be mypostpartum care.
This labor altogether was waydifferent because now we're
(47:02):
completely out of COVID.
I was able to have visitors inthe hospital, which had never
happened previously.
My husband was able to leave,which he wasn't able to the
first two times, and I was ableto see everyone's faces.
I didn't have to take a COVIDtest.
I didn't have to wear a mask.
This felt like a you know whatyou would probably consider like
(47:25):
a normal labor and delivery,pre-covid, and so I'm glad that
now mamas that get to labor havea way more normal, I guess is
the only word I can think ofexperience.
And I'm glad that I was able tohave that, because had I not
(47:50):
had my third child, I wouldn'thave known a labor without masks
and protocols and COVID tests.
So I think having herdefinitely healed that part of
me.
That was like this is not how Ipictured my labor is going and
my daughters were able to cometo the hospital and meet their
sister in the hospital.
So it was a way, way, waybetter birthing and recovery
(48:13):
experience, because it felt alittle bit more natural and a
little bit more normal and howyou would expect a labor and
delivery to go.
Angela (48:25):
You could see other human faces in your space
instead of just all of the PPE.
Kelli (48:30):
Exactly exactly.
Angela (48:33):
Yeah, oh, so how was your postpartum time with her?
Like obviously you're stillpostpartum, but like how was
your, like you know, the lastfew weeks been last 12 weeks?
Kelli (48:43):
Yes.
So I'd have to say herpostpartum has been the most
difficult hormonal wise I can,as far as like transitioning
into the kids, transitioningfrom two to three kids, hasn't
really been that hard.
I've already gotten used tosplitting my time.
I've gotten used to jugglingthings, so that hasn't really
(49:03):
been hard.
I've gotten used to jugglingthings, so that hasn't really
been hard.
But trying to make sure thatI'm present for all three,
that's probably been the mostdifficult.
It really is true when they sayone kid is one kid, two kids is
three kids, three kids is 10kids.
I don't know what it is, butwhen you jump to that third one
it's like it kicks up the chaoslike seven notches.
(49:25):
But I think 12 weeks in, we'refinally starting to get a little
bit of a routine and managementof that down.
Thankfully I have a veryhands-on husband and father so
he takes the reign on our oldertwo a lot.
He does work a lot.
That's obviously why I'm ableto be a stay at home mom.
But when he is home, he's homeand he's, he's doing bedtime,
(49:51):
he's doing bath, he's helping,you know, with dinner, he's
cleaning up and truly like hehas helped my post-term mental
state a ton.
So I think I'm finally startingto come off the hormonal
rollercoaster, which feels nice.
(50:12):
But other than that she's been abreeze.
She's been my easiest baby.
I don't even want to say itbecause I don't want to jinx it,
but she sleeps great.
Knock on wood, she sleepsphenomenal, which I did not have
with my previous two.
My older two girls were upevery hour on the dot for like a
year, so this is like a total,you know, 180 for me, getting
(50:37):
five hours stretches at a time.
I'm like I'm waiting for theother shoe to drop.
Knock on wood again.
Oh my gosh, I can't jinx it.
She's.
She's an easy breezy baby, so Ireally can't complain.
Angela (50:53):
Yeah, it can definitely be a hormonal roller coaster and
postpartum sometimes, buthaving that amazing support from
your partner just really justmakes all of the difference.
You know makes it manageable alittle more.
Kelli (51:05):
Yes, yes, I truly can't imagine doing it without him.
Like every time that he stepsin, when he's cause we've just
been together for so long.
At this point, I think he canjust read my cues without me
even having to say anything,Like my face says it all and he
knows exactly how I'm feelingwithout me even having to say it
(51:26):
all the time.
So he's like okay, girls, let'sgo do something because mommy
needs a minute.
And I'm just like oh, thank you.
So I couldn't imagine nothaving that partner who is
supportive in that way.
I'm very fortunate for him and,and even when I don't have it
(51:48):
just on my side, I'm easily ableto communicate that to him.
And he knows, you know, okay, Iknow I let me step in, let me
help out, and you know we'll getthis done together.
And I'm like thank you, Thankyou, Thank you.
I just need a moment, Mommyjust needs a moment yeah.
Angela (52:05):
Just refresh for a little bit.
Right as a final question, ifyou were to give advice to
someone who's expecting, or evennew parents, what is one of the
biggest things you'd want toshare?
Kelli (52:18):
I've learned so much over the last five years of, you
know, being a mom and the hugemajority of my last five years
of my life has been beingpregnant and breastfeeding and
taking care of babies, and it'sreally been my whole life, the
last five.
So I think the biggest thing Iwould share is everything is a
(52:43):
phase.
This isn't going to be your newpermanent you know, the baby
that doesn't sleep every night,you will sleep again eventually.
The baby that's up crying shewill sleep, or he will sleep
again eventually.
Teething comes and goes.
Everything is temporary andit's not permanent and you will
(53:06):
feel normal again.
I'd say like two years,postpartum is when I started to
really feel like myself again,and so this time, with the
postpartum, of course, I'm stillonly 12 weeks postpartum, so
I'm not fully feeling likemyself, but I know that I will.
So that's the beauty in havingdone this multiple times is I
(53:27):
know that there is a light atthe end of the tunnel and I will
feel like myself again and youwill feel like yourself again
and everything's going to beokay.
I think it is the overarchingsentiment is everything will be
okay, even when you feel likeyou're drowning, and it's not
going to be okay and nothingwill ever go back to normal
(53:49):
again.
It will and it's going to beokay.
You got it.
Angela (53:53):
Yeah, absolutely, it is so important to remember that.
Kelli (53:57):
Yes, you really feel like this is my new normal.
I'm never going to sleep againand I'm not going to shower
every day, and it just feels sopermanent and it's not.
And even though that's hard toaccept in the moment, just trust
me, you'll feel like yourselfagain.
Angela (54:18):
So, before we go, do you want to share a little bit
about your business, the thingsthat you offer and how people
can find you?
If they want to share a littlebit about your business, the
things that you offer and howpeople can find you, if they
want to, yeah, absolutely so.
Kelli (54:28):
My business, Katie Marketing.
You can find me on Instagram orFacebook it's just Kelly Dunley
, katie Marketing, and I helpsmall businesses with social
media management, graphic design, content creation, consulting,
ad campaigns truly, almostanything marketing related.
(54:49):
That's what I have my degree in.
I've been working in marketingfor like a decade at this point
and I've kind of I've wore everyhat in the marketing field that
you could think of.
I've worked in radio, I'veworked in TV, I've worked in
print, and it's my passion.
I've worked in radio, I'veworked in TV, I've worked in
(55:09):
print, and it's my passion.
I love what I do and I trulyfeel that my client's success is
my success.
So I will always do everythingthat I can to ensure that I'm
providing you the best marketingexperience that I can offer.
Angela (55:22):
Awesome.
Well, I will link all of yourinformation in the show notes so
anybody that might beinterested in that, that has a
small business looking for that,can check you out.
Thank you so much for takingthe time to chat with me and
share your story today.
It's been such a pleasurechatting with you.
Kelli (55:40):
Absolutely.
Thanks for reaching out.
Angela (55:42):
This was fun absolutely thanks for reaching out.
This was fun.
Before you go, I just want toremind you I have a ton of
resources for pregnancy andbirth.
If you're pregnant, whetheryou're a first-time mom or if
this is your fifth baby, I wantyou to check out the show notes,
because I have some freetrainings and free downloads
that you can sign up for, aswell as the link to access my
(56:02):
labor of love, a comprehensiveself-paced online childbirth
education course.
I created this coursespecifically for moms who don't
want to be told what to do,regardless of where you're
birthing or who you're birthingwith, and I'd honestly love to
teach you everything that I knowso that you can prepare for an
autonomous birth experience andprepare to step into your role
(56:25):
as the leader of your birthjourney.
So click to the show notes,check out all of those links and
, if you ever have any questions, feel free to DM me at
mymainbirth over on Instagram.
I've learned so much over the last five years of being a
mom, and the huge majority of mylast five years of my life has
been being pregnant andbreastfeeding and taking care of
babies, and it's really been mywhole life, the last five.
So I think the biggest thing Iwould share is everything is a
(00:25):
phase.
This isn't going to be your newpermanent.
You know the baby that doesn'tsleep every night.
You will sleep again eventually.
The baby that's up crying shewill sleep or he will sleep
again eventually.
Teething comes and goes.
It's everything is temporaryand it's not permanent and you
(00:48):
will feel normal again.
I'd say like two yearspostpartum is when I started to
really feel like myself again,and so this time with the
postpartum, of course, I'm stillonly 12 weeks postpartum, so
I'm not fully feeling likemyself, but I know that I will.
So that's the beauty in havingdone this multiple times is I
(01:10):
know that there is a light atthe end of the tunnel and I will
feel like myself again and youwill feel like yourself again
and you know everything's goingto be okay.
I think it is the overarchingsentiment is everything will be
okay, even when you feel likeyou're drowning and it's not
going to be okay and nothingwill ever go back to normal
(01:32):
again.
It will, and it's going to beokay.
Angela (01:34):
You got it.
I'm Angela and I'm a certifiedbirth photographer, experienced
doula, childbirth educator andyour host here on the my Maine
Birth podcast.
This is a space where we sharethe real-life stories of
families and their unique birthexperiences in the beautiful
state of Maine, from our state'sbiggest hospitals to birth
(01:56):
center births and home births.
Every birth story deserves tobe heard and celebrated.
Whether you're a soon-to-be mom, a seasoned mother or simply
interested in the world of birth, these episodes are for you.
Welcome back.
You're listening to episode 120of the my Main Birth podcast.
(02:18):
If you've been consideringsharing your birth story here on
the podcast, let's connect.
I accept all of the stories thatare submitted to me hospital
births, birth center births, alldifferent types of home births
and everything in between.
The only requirement forsharing a birth story on this
podcast is that at least one ofyour birth stories is a main
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birth story.
As an added bonus, all of mypodcast guests receive a gift
certificate for a familyadventure photo session on the
session day of your choice.
I host session days for mypodcast guests at iconic
locations across Mainethroughout the spring, summer
and fall.
I have spots left at all of mysession days for the rest of the
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year.
So if you're wanting some fallfamily photos, this is the
perfect opportunity to grab some.
So if you want to join thecommunity of Maine Moms sharing
birth stories on the podcast,you can fill out the form on the
podcast page over on my website, mymainbirthcom, or you can
always send me a message over onInstagram at MyMainBirth.
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Today's birth story guest isKelly, and she's here to share
all about her three birthstories at Eastern Maine Medical
Center in Bangor.
Hi Kelly, welcome toMyMainBirth.
Hello, so to start, would youshare a little bit about you and
your family?
Kelli (03:44):
Yes.
So hi everyone.
My name is Kelly Denley.
I am a mama of three beautifullittle girls.
I have been with my husbandsince I was 16 years old.
We're high school sweetheartsand our oldest is five, our
middle is three and we just hada baby 12 weeks ago.
So we have a very busy life.
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They keep us very busy, butthey're beautiful and healthy
and we couldn't ask for muchmore.
We live in Central Maine and Iown my own marketing company,
katie Marketing, that I run frommy home, and I'm also a
stay-at-home mom with them aswell.
So lots of balls to juggle, buthonestly, I wouldn't want it
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any other way.
Angela (04:28):
Oh my goodness, Amazing.
That sounds so incredible.
Would you share about when youfound out you were pregnant for
the first time and like whatyour thoughts were in choosing
your care?
Kelli (04:39):
Yes.
So we had decided in 2019 thatwe were ready to start a family.
We had been married for twoyears at that point.
So we're like okay, I thinkwe're ready now.
I originally got pregnant inMay of 2019, and we sadly lost
that pregnancy and that wasreally hard for me because that
was the first time I had everbeen pregnant.
(05:00):
So all the scary thoughts runthrough your head Is this going
to keep happening?
Can I even get pregnant?
But we are very fortunate to bepregnant again in August, and
that's when I got pregnant withmy oldest Avery pregnant.
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Previously I kind of knew whatto look for, how I was going to
feel, because every pregnancy isso different and everyone
experiences different symptoms.
But for me, the nausea hitspretty hard.
So I woke up and I was startingto feel a little nauseous, my
chest was a little tender andobviously we had been trying.
So I remember it was like seveno'clock in the morning and I
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shot out of bed and I was likeyou know what?
I think I'm just going to takea test just for fun and we'll
see what happens.
And it was positive right away.
And I remember just being soexcited and running and jumping
on my husband, who was fullystill asleep at this point
because we didn't have kids sowe could sleep in still and he I
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was like crying because I justwas so excited that I was able
to be pregnant again.
And he knew immediately.
I didn't even have to sayanything.
He knew.
He was like you're pregnant,aren't you?
And I said, yes, I am.
And I showed him the test andthen, five years later, here she
is.
Angela (06:27):
Oh my gosh, that's so special.
So, how was that pregnancylooking for you?
How are you feeling so?
Kelli (06:35):
with my oldest.
My pregnancy was prettytextbook.
I had morning sickness forpretty much my entire first
trimester.
Although I didn't reallyphysically get sick a lot, I
just kind of felt nauseous allday long, which almost kind of
felt worse because I felt like Iwas always just on the brink of
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about to throw up but neveractually got sick, and that was
all day.
I ended up losing like 10pounds in my first trimester
with her because I was just sonauseous I couldn't even think
about eating.
Coffee just tasted like dirt tome.
Food was the least appealingthing ever.
I think I ate so many bakedpotatoes and like boiled carrots
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because they taste like nothing.
I don't want to eat food thathas any flavor.
I just need to eat to like stayalive at this point, and
luckily I was able to shake thataround like 14 or 15 weeks and
then I had a pretty good sweetspot for a while there and into
my second trimester, my thirdtrimester I'm trying to remember
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now.
I think it was pretty typical,other than it being COVID.
She's a COVID baby, so she wasborn in May of 2020.
In March of 2020 is when theworld kind of went crazy pants
and I remember being so scaredbecause I'm know I'm a first
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time mom this is my first timecarrying a pregnancy this far
and everyone suddenly and masksand you're not allowed to leave
your house, so it was prettyscary.
Angela (08:17):
Yeah, I'm sure it was.
What were your thoughts inchoosing your care?
Had you thought about it beforeyou got pregnant?
Kelli (08:24):
I had never even thought about a birth plan before.
I'd gotten pregnant before.
And then when COVID hit and allthe hospitals were being
overrun with COVID patients andeveryone was in PPE from head to
toe, I got a little nervousabout delivering in a hospital.
I had looked into birthingcenters but truthfully, my
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insurance just didn't cover itand we didn't have the cost to
cover out of pocket.
So we did end up going with ahospital birth and I did have a
very positive experience,thankfully.
But I could not tell you whatone of my nurses or doctors look
like, because everyone was likemasks, hairnets, shields, like
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full body gear.
I had to take three COVID testswhile I was there.
I had to labor with a mask on,so it was a very different
experience, for that being myfirst pregnancy, it's kind of
all I knew, so I didn't haveanything to compare it to.
But now, having had kids out ofCOVID, I'm like wow, what a
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weird sci-fi experience that was.
I really felt like I was insome sort of alien movie,
because everyone just you didn'tknow what they look like other
than the picture on their badges, and my husband could not leave
the hospital, like once we werechecked in.
They're like you're here, likeyou can't leave.
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So we had to have people likedrop food off at the security
door and he would like go downand get it and bring it up, like
if we didn't have somethingwith us at the hospital.
We just didn't have it.
So we packed quite a bit thatfirst time.
Angela (10:04):
What was your care looking like throughout the
pregnancy?
Because you sort of startedlike before COVID and then yeah,
so like what was that kind oflike?
Kelli (10:12):
So my appointments were pretty standard.
You know, at first you go in.
I think because of my historyof a miscarriage, they did see
me a little bit earlier.
They saw me at seven weeks asopposed to like the nine or 10
that they usually do, and I hadregular appointments every six
weeks and then every four weeks.
And then I want to say I wassomewhere in like my late 20
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weeks to maybe like 30 weeksalong.
I was definitely my thirdtrimester when COVID and like
lockdown and everything happened, and after that it was you had
to sit in your car and wait foryour appointment.
You couldn't sit in the waitingroom and, yeah, I couldn't
bring my husband with me anymore, so it was just me going to the
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appointments.
And again, this was my firsttime being pregnant, so this was
all very jarring being pregnant.
So this was all very jarring.
And then my doctor obviouslystarted wearing a mask and
gloves and all the PPE for everyvisit.
I had to wear a mask for everyvisit.
The care itself stayed prettystandard.
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They did an ultrasound forevery visit that I went to check
my blood pressure.
I did end up having high bloodpressure at the end of my
pregnancy, so I was induced withmy first at 39 weeks, just due
to the concern of my bloodpressure getting too high.
Who did you?
Angela (11:34):
choose for your care.
Kelli (11:36):
So I went to Downeast OBGYN and I saw Dr Rumsey.
I have nothing but positivethings to say about the office.
I love the office, I love thenurse.
He answered all my questions.
He was really straightforwardand I like that.
I don't like to beat around thebush.
If I ask you a question, I justwant the answer.
Good, bad, ugly Just tell mewhat it is.
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So he was very straightforwardbut also comforting at the same
time too, because again thingskind of got flipped on their
head a little bit and he wasvery reassuring that like,
listen, you're going to be okay,your baby's going to be okay,
like I know the world looks alittle scary right now, but like
you're going, it's going to beokay.
So that was very comforting tohear and feel in the midst of
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chaos.
Angela (12:24):
So yeah, what were the final weeks and then days
leading up to when your laborstarted looking like?
Kelli (12:32):
The last few weeks I ended up at this point.
I was working for a company andthey let me transition to
working from home full time.
So, like the last like sixweeks of my pregnancy
transitioned to working fromhome full-time.
So the last six weeks of mypregnancy I did not leave my
house at all, other than forvisits at the OB office.
I was in lockdown and the lastvisit at the office I was 39
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weeks and my blood pressure wasjust a little too high for
comfort.
And so he called and he saidhow do you feel about going to
the hospital tonight?
And I was 39 weeks along and Iwas like, oh, wow, okay, I
should probably call my husbandand let him know we're having a
baby like tomorrow.
And so we went in that nightand they gave the, gave me the
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medicine to soften my cervix andI had pre-labor all night.
I slept fine now, um, and babywas good.
She was good.
That next morning he came around8 AM and he broke my water and
I had a very fast labor fromthere.
Even though it was my first, itwas, it was pretty quick.
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They did start me on Pitocinright after he broke my water
and I'd say that was probablylike eight o'clock and she was
born like noon.
So I went from like twocentimeters dilated to fully
dilated within a span of just afew hours.
When she was there I did end uphaving an epidural around like
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probably like seven centimeters.
I didn't want to wait too longso they wouldn't give it to me,
but I didn't want to have it tooearly to slow down my progress.
So I tried to time it prettypretty good, um.
And then he was like this isyour first, so it's eight
o'clock now.
I'll probably see you at likefive or six o'clock tonight,
(14:26):
Okay, and when the nurses camein and checked me at like 1130,
they said don't push, thedoctor's not here.
Don't do anything until thedoctor gets here.
And I was able to have her outin like probably three pushes
maybe, maybe like 15 minutes ofpushing.
Very lucky, very fortunate forthat.
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Um and I only tore a little bit.
So overall a very positivebirth experience.
Despite all the obstacles thatwe were thrown, um, I have no
complaints about her, her birthat all.
Angela (15:00):
Wow.
So how was your postpartum withher?
Kelli (15:04):
Again, it was a very positive.
I feel pretty by the bookPostpartum Experience.
They stitched me up and I wasable to walk within like an hour
of the epidural being taken out.
That first postpartum showerfeels amazing.
You feel like a new personafterwards.
Her care was great.
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I kept her with me pretty muchthe entire night.
Again, we did end up having tostay, so now what they do is
they take you from the labor anddelivery to the recovery room,
but because it was COVID, westayed in the same room the
entire time, which honestlyworked out really great because
those rooms are a lot biggerthan recovery rooms and the
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showers are a lot nicer.
But overall it was a greatexperience.
We were in and out within likea 48-hour window and no
complaints.
Truly.
Angela (15:58):
How were things once you got home and settling in with a
new baby?
Kelli (16:02):
It was an experience.
I exclusively nurse all of mybabies, so learning how to
breastfeed for the first timewas really interesting.
It was very painful, but I wasvery passionate about it.
I was like, no, I want tobreastfeed my kids.
So I stuck through it and Idon't know if a lot of women
know this, but Medela offers a24-hour lactation consultant for
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free resource and I actuallyended up reaching out to them
and they sent me like a wholeguide.
I filled out this questionnairelike this is what I'm
experiencing, this is what I'mstruggling with, and the
lactation consultant sent meback a bunch of tips and it
really truly helped a lot,because I don't know anybody
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that breastfed.
So I was like what is a letdown?
Why is she choking?
What is going on?
Why do I hurt so bad?
And she was able to answer allthose questions for me.
So I was able to nurse her fora full year after that.
Angela (17:04):
Oh, that's incredible.
So how did you find out youwere pregnant for the second
time?
Kelli (17:10):
Yes, so I knew once we started having kids I did not
want to have huge age gaps.
I kind of just wanted to likerip the bandaid off, if you will
.
I was like let's just, let'smake these our baby years and
just boom, boom, boom, get itdone in a good way, get it done
in a good way.
So my daughter had turned ayear old and I had found out I
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was pregnant like a week beforeher first birthday, and again,
sadly, we lost that pregnancy aswell.
So I had waited maybe anothertwo months and then we got
pregnant again in.
Angela (17:48):
August again.
Kelli (17:50):
So all of my kids' birthdays are within like a
three-week window.
August is like a happy spot forus.
For some reason my fertility isgreat in August, so I'll take
it.
Her birth experience was verydifferent.
Her pregnancy was verydifferent.
Actually, I thought she was aboy for the longest time, cause
I had felt way worse with her.
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Um, finding out I was pregnantwith her was not that surprising
, because again, we were trying.
So it was a random morning Ijust decided I hadn't even
missed my period yet, but I waslike I'm pregnant.
I know how this feels at thispoint, at this point.
This is my fourth pregnancy, mysecond kid, but my fourth
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pregnancy.
So I know how I feel, I knowwhat to expect at this point and
I took the test.
It was positive.
I was very excited but alsovery scared because again I was
coming off of another loss.
Just a few months prior theysaw me early again just because
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of my concerns that I had withmy losses and to my happiness,
she had a heartbeat and she washealthy.
It was another girl and herpregnancy.
I was physically sick, a lotmore so.
With Avery I was just morenauseous.
My middle daughter her name isEvelyn.
With Evelyn I got sick a lotmore.
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So I was like every othermorning just throwing up first
thing in the morning and mylittle one-year-old is like
rubbing my back because mommy'ssick, but still trying to be as
present as I could be for her.
The pregnancy exhaustion hitway harder this time because I
had a little what I was chasingaround.
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But overall a pretty positivepregnancy as well.
I think I shook the sicknessaround 17 weeks, a little bit
longer with her.
Oh, something different withthis pregnancy is I did
experience a hypothyroid so Ihad to be put on medication
around 10 weeks pregnant withher to counteract the
hypothyroid.
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I got really swollen with this.
She was my biggest baby.
She's my biggest pregnancy andshe's my biggest baby.
My first baby was seven poundsfive ounces.
Evelyn ended up being likeeight pounds 10 ounces.
She was a big girl and I gotreally, really swollen towards
the end of my pregnancy with her.
We were just coming out of COVIDso I was able to sit in the
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lobby again.
I was able to bring my husband.
You were able to have oneperson with you.
I went back to Downey's OBGYNand saw Dr Rumsey again, so the
care was a little less foreignto me because I had one gone
through it again.
I've gone through it previously, but it was starting to be a
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little bit more personal againbecause a lot of the COVID
regulations were starting to notbe so strict.
I did still have to labor witha mask on in the hospital, but
it wasn't as bad because the atleast the nurses only had masks
on at this point.
They didn't have to have thefull body suit to help me in
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labor, so they looked a littlemore human this time.
That helps.
Angela (21:12):
Yeah, Because you're in these altered states of birth
and looking around right.
Kelli (21:17):
It was.
It was crazy, and I wearglasses, so I don't know if
anyone else experienced thiswhen they had masks.
But when you breathe with yourmask on, especially like heavy
breaths, like the fog goes up toyour glasses and God bless
these nurses.
They felt so bad for me, Icould tell one of them ended up
pulling my mask off during laborbecause I like literally
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couldn't see.
My glasses are so fogged upbecause of the air from my mask
being pushed up into my glassesthat she literally just pulled
my mask down for me and I waslike thank you, one, I can
breathe now.
Two, I can see.
So things got a lot better.
After that I was like thank you, there's a little bit of
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humanality, so this is a littlebit more human connection.
I'd also I was like I've beenCOVID tested three times since
I've been here.
Why do I have to wear this mask?
Like you know, I don't haveCOVID.
You've tested me every fourhours and I haven't gone
anywhere.
So yeah, it was again thatlabor was interesting.
Angela (22:25):
Is there anything else you want to share about your
pregnancy with her?
So her pregnancy was pretty,pretty standard.
Kelli (22:31):
After I got over the sickness in my first trimester,
my second was very, it was abreeze.
I'm very lucky to have secondtrimesters easy second
trimesters and then my third.
Again, I just got reallyswollen with her I want to say
that probably has something todo with the hypothyroid and then
my labor with her.
I ended up going into naturallabor with Evelyn.
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Uh, my blood pressure was fine,but I had never experienced
natural labor before because Ihad an induction with my first.
So it was like midnight and mycontractions got a little
heavier, they got a littlecloser together and they felt a
little bit more real.
I had had Braxton Hickspreviously with Avery.
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I'd had Braxton Hicks withEvelyn, but I was starting to
experience.
I'm like no, these, I thinkthese are not those.
I think these are real, I thinkthese are doing something.
And it was about midnight that Itold my husband that,
thankfully, my dad was stayingwith us at the time because of
his job.
Um, my parents lived two hoursaway at the time and his job was
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here, so he was staying in ourguest room while he was working
throughout the week.
So I didn't have to worry aboutgoing into labor at midnight
and not having somebody to staywith my baby, um, so I my dad
was up and my husband was up.
I was bouncing on a ball atmidnight and I was like, okay,
everyone, let's try to get somesleep.
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I think I'm going to go intolabor, but let's just try it,
let's see what happens.
And it was two hours later, 2am, I woke my husband up and I was
like we got to go to thehospital.
This is starting to really hurt.
I haven't slept at all.
Is it getting closer together?
Let's call the doctor.
They told us to go in.
They put me in triage, theychecked me and I was only At
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that time, I think I was onlythree centimeters.
But my step-mom had drove up twohours at 2 am from where my
parents had lived, where theirhouse was, and I was like listen
, I have someone driving at 2 amto stay with my daughter.
I am not going home.
So I said what do I need to doto induce this labor so I can be
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admitted and get out of triage?
And she said we needed you atleast at a four to consider you
an active labor.
I said done.
I walked the labor ward forprobably two hours.
I did not sit down, I just didcircles around the labor floor
and bounced on a ball and dideverything I could to get my
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contractions stronger and closertogether.
And when she came back andchecked me I was at a four and
it was at 4am and I was admitted.
I was like, yes, I did it, I'min.
And then I slept because Ihadn't slept at all.
The doctor came and saw me.
I actually had a midwife thistime.
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She worked at the same office,but Rumsey was not in the office
.
I think he was on a vacation orsomething.
So I had a midwife come andcheck me.
Was it Raylene?
It was Raylene.
Yeah, I adore her.
I absolutely love her.
I love all the providers I'veexperienced at Downy's OB-GYN
but I'd have to say she'sprobably she's at the top of the
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list for experience for me.
I say this all the time I havefriends and family that are
nurse practitioners.
I have tons of friends that arenurses and I just think it's a
different level of care when youhave a midwife and a nurse
practitioner, because they'vehad to go through being a nurse
previously so they know how tobe a little bit more hands-on,
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they understand like bedsidemanner and care a little bit
better.
I mean, raylene sat and talkedwith me.
She like offered me popsicles.
She was just a little bit morepresent in my labor and I fully
attribute that to her being amidwife and not an OB.
Both were great experiences butit's just a different level of
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connection.
She delivered Evelyn, so shecame in, she broke my water and
they started me on Pitocin.
I did get an epidural withEvelyn.
Unfortunately it was not a goodexperience.
The second time around theyended up doing a what's it
(26:57):
called Like a spinal yeah, whereit goes like a little too far
and it's not in the right spotto be considered an epidural
anymore, and that was prettypainful, like I could probably
point out on my back where itwas like it still hurts to this
day, and so I ended up having tohave a blood patch procedure
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after Evelyn's epidural.
I don't remember what it'scalled, but something happens
where you get like these severemigraines, and that ended up
happening to me.
When I got home and dischargedfrom the hospital.
I almost couldn't keep my headup because it just was in so
(27:38):
much pain and I ended up havingto go back to the hospital to
have a two-hour procedure donewhere they took blood from my
arm and inserted it into wherethe epidural needle was put into
my spine to create a clot,basically All while trying to
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take care of a newborn.
She was a day old at this pointand, again, I'm exclusively
breastfeeding, so I was like,listen, I need this procedure
done.
I understand, but I have anewborn that I need to
breastfeed in two hours, solet's try to streamline this a
little bit.
And they did.
They were understanding, so Iwent in and got the procedure
(28:24):
done.
Again, it was still weirdregulations at the hospital, so
she couldn't come in with me somuch.
She actually sat in the parkinggarage with my dad for two
hours in the car while I wasgetting this done because my
husband was home with our one ortwo year old Um and thankfully
the procedure took right away.
(28:45):
That headache went away almostimmediately and I was fine.
I was good to go.
Angela (28:51):
How were things kind of looking with your birth after
you got the epidural?
Kelli (28:55):
Yeah, so afterwards I didn't immediately feel the
headaches after the epidural.
I knew that my epidural wasbotched, though I could feel it.
Just in comparison with Averyit was pretty textbook.
It worked the way it needed towork.
It came out fine.
It was.
You know.
It worked the way it needed towork.
It came out fine.
It was great.
I could feel the difference withEvelyn's epidurals so I knew I
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was like this doesn't feel right.
The headaches didn't set onimmediately so I couldn't really
tell that something wasn'tright until a day afterwards.
But my care with her.
I was transferred to a recoveryroom.
At that point they had startedmoving patients' rooms again, so
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I was put in a recovery roomwith her.
The nurses were great, the carewas fine.
I was discharged again prettyfast because luckily I'm a
pretty good recovery.
My bleeding is pretty moderate.
She latched fine, so thatwasn't an issue.
She looked good, so everythingwas good to go and we were
(29:58):
discharged within probably like36 hours.
The only thing is when we gothome is when the headache
started to set on and I didn'treally know what was wrong
because no one had explainedthat to me.
So I think that's the only thingthat I wish I could change is
someone would have told me hey,you might experience this, so
(30:19):
you know what signs to look for.
I ended up calling Dr Rumseyand he was great.
He had great follow through.
He actually is the one thatmade the appointment for me to
go in to get the procedure doneand he did a follow up with me
afterwards as well.
So I have great, great thingsto say about Downy's OBGYN and
their follow up care.
(30:39):
He really, even though Raylenewas the one that delivered
Evelyn Rumsey did a great followup to make sure that I was good
to go afterwards a greatfollow-up to make sure that I
was good to go afterwards, andthat was probably like a two to
three day process of having herbeing discharged, getting home,
having the headaches from theepidural complications going and
(31:00):
getting the procedure donebeing fine.
That was probably like a threeday window there.
Angela (31:06):
Yeah, oh, wow, that's tough, but still good that they
caught it kind of quick and likewe're able to help you right
away.
Yeah, yes.
Kelli (31:15):
I was very fortunate to be able to get in right away
because I said, listen, I'm I'mlike exclusively nursing a baby.
I have a two-year-old, like,yes, I have a good village at
home to help me, but like I needto be able to be present to
take care of my babies, um, sothey were able to get me in and
out really fast.
So I was very, very lucky andI'm glad for that, because I've
(31:36):
had.
My girls are two years apart,so even though she, my oldest,
was two I mean two is still verymuch a baby, so she's still
really needed mom to help takecare of her.
Um, and again, exclusivelybreastfeeding my baby.
I was like, no, I need to bepresent, I need to be like aware
of what's going on so I cantake care of my kids and not be
(31:58):
in pain.
So, yes, they fully understoodthat and I received good care,
so, yeah, yeah, yeah, soimportant.
Angela (32:08):
So how was your postpartum time with her kind of
after those first few days andyou got a little more settled.
Kelli (32:16):
Yes.
So my husband was able to behome for I think it was like a
little under two weeks, just shyof two weeks, and I remember
thinking when he went to work ohmy gosh, what have I done?
I just went from having onebaby to focus on and having my
full attention on her to now myattention is split down the
(32:37):
middle and I have two babies Ineed to take care of, and I
would say the transition fromone to two kids was the hardest
and it was solely just because Ihad not been used to having to
split my attention.
So whenever moms ask me who aregoing into having multiple kids
, I say it's hard and you'regoing to struggle a little bit,
(33:01):
probably in the beginning, or atleast I did but you get into a
routine.
Those instincts with yoursecond come a little bit easier.
For me, I felt more confidentin my mothering skills.
I didn't second guesseverything that I was doing.
My postpartum care was waydifferent because with my first
I was able to like lay in bedand recover when you're already.
(33:22):
Have a toddler that you have tochase around.
Have a toddler that you have tochase around.
She doesn't really care thatyou're in a diaper.
She wants to go play.
So I was out of the house a lotsooner with my second
postpartum.
But I still had a really easypostpartum recovery With my
(33:47):
second.
When I went back to get my sixweek blood work done my
hypothyroid had gone away so Iwas able to stop the medication
and I was very fortunate to haveno postpartum depression, no
postpartum anxiety.
I have a very strong villagearound me for my friends and
family so I was able to lean onthem a lot and vent when I
(34:07):
needed to vent.
I had someone come sit withAvery when I needed it.
I'm very lucky, I'm veryfortunate in that sense.
So postpartum wise, I was goodto go.
Angela (34:21):
Amazing.
Yeah, it's really so helpful tohave that village.
Kelli (34:24):
Yes, my heart really goes out to the moms that don't have
a strong village around themand I really hope that I'm able
to be that village for myfriends, because I just know how
important it is for mama'ssanity to have someone around to
help her, not only like carefor the babies, but even just
sometimes to like hear you out,like sometimes you just want to
(34:46):
vent.
It's been a hard day.
The kids are crazy, the kidsare loud.
I'm overstimulated, I'm touchedout.
Tell me all the things.
Go ahead, vent it out.
You're not annoying me, I'm notoverwhelmed by this.
Just get it off of your chest,because that's sometimes just
all you need.
You don't always need someoneto just fix it, you just need
someone to hear you out, and I'mhopefully I'm able to be that
(35:12):
for my friends, as they are forme too.
Angela (35:14):
So, yeah, yeah, having that support is so helpful.
Kelli (35:19):
Yes, it helps the.
You know I I value mygirlfriend relationship so much
because if it wasn't for mygirlfriend, I'm like I don't
know what I would do.
Like those, those ladies helpkeep me sane.
I don't know what I would dowithout them.
Angela (35:33):
And it's so true, like maybe you don't necessarily need
someone to be right there withyou in, like the day to day,
like after you know this firstinitial postpartum passes, but
just to have someone you knowcall and check in like how are
you doing today, you know, likecan really make a big difference
.
Kelli (35:48):
Yes, I had friends drop me off coffee, friends drop me
off flowers.
I've um my first postpartum onmy friend again, it was COVID,
so they were all very wearyabout coming over.
But I had, um, one of myfriends sent me like a Walmart
delivery of a bunch of likefreezer meals and just like easy
things to cook.
And again with my seconddelivery my friends would bring
(36:11):
over Haniford gift cards andthings, just things to help make
the transition into a family ofthree to a family of four
easier.
And that's never something thatI took lightly, that's
something that always brought meto tears sometimes.
Just the support from ourfriends and family of you know
how much they love and upliftour family.
(36:31):
So I hope I'm able to, and Iwas able to do that for them as
well.
You know, flowers, coffee, letme do your dishes.
Go take a shower.
She's good.
I like I can tell you haven'tshowered in like two days.
She might cry.
She's going to be fine.
Go take a shower.
I'll hold her.
She's going to be alive whenyou get back, I promise.
Angela (36:52):
Yeah, so true.
Oh, that's amazing.
When did you find out you'repregnant for the third time?
Like, what was that lookinglike for you?
Kelli (37:01):
Yes.
So this last pregnancy was verydifferent.
We waited longer this time,which I find is a pattern.
I find that a lot of familieshave the first two back to back,
which is exactly what we did,and then you're like, wow, this
is a lot.
One to two kids, that's a lot.
Let's wait a little bit longer.
So there's a three-year age gapbetween my middle and my
(37:24):
youngest, so not that muchlonger, but I was like I think I
need an extra year to recoverfrom this.
Get a little bit of my pinkback, if you will.
So it was this past summer.
We had decided.
I was like I don't think I'mdone, I think I want one more.
And he agreed he's like I thinkwe need one more to complete
(37:44):
our family.
So it was this past summer.
Again in August, I found out Iwas pregnant with her, with this
one.
It was a little bit more of asurprise because she's waking up
.
Angela (38:01):
Pause.
Kelli (38:01):
That's fine, take your time.
When we had decided to have ourthird child, we initially
talked about like the fall andthe winter trying to get
pregnant because we had alreadyhad two of our kids in the
spring.
So let's try to space this outa little bit more and we were
being careful and cautious allbut one time, and that one time
(38:24):
is now three months old.
All it took was that one time.
I was very fortunate for thatand I also.
When I found out with herpregnancy, I got immediately
nervous because I had had apattern loss, baby, loss, baby.
So when I found out I waspregnant with her, that initial
anxiety of am I going to losethis pregnancy hit, and I was
(38:49):
very fortunate that it didn't.
So that's something that wasdifferent about this pregnancy
was I was not coming off of aloss, and I think I was able to
be a little more present, alittle less anxious this time
around with her, because when Iheard her heartbeat I was like,
okay, this is good, she's goingto be okay, and that relief of I
(39:12):
can breathe went away.
Although I wasn't nearly asnauseous with her, I was a
little nervous because when youdon't feel those symptoms,
you're like okay, what's wrong?
Is she okay?
Is everything going to be okay?
She took it really easy on me.
(39:33):
As far as nausea, the exhaustionwas my biggest symptom with her
pregnancy.
It could also just be I waschasing two other kids around,
so that didn't help with me notfeeling tired, but other than
that I was able to eat what Iwanted to eat.
I slept fine at night.
(39:54):
I got sick maybe one or twotimes.
Her pregnancy was by far theeasiest pregnancy.
I've had no hypothyroid thistime around and she was as
healthy as could be.
So, yeah, and we found out onChristmas that we were having a
third girl.
Angela (40:15):
Oh, that's so fun.
Kelli (40:17):
Yes, my friend went to my my ultrasound with me and they
handed her the piece of paperand she wrapped up a little
onesie for us and my daughterswere able to open it on
Christmas and it said littlesister on it and we're like, oh
my gosh, here we go, girl roundthree yeah, at this point I mean
(40:38):
three daughter.
I wouldn't even know what to dowith the son at this point
because I'm just so immersed ingirl world that, honestly, I
just feel like I was meant to bea girl mom.
Angela (40:47):
I love it.
Oh, oh, my gosh, that's sosweet.
So how were like the finalweeks and then days?
Kelli (40:57):
leading up to when your labor started looking like.
So my pregnancy was so, so easywith her.
I hate to say it, but it reallywas so easy with her.
Um, the final weeks I did startto swell, which is pretty
typical for me, but my bloodpressure was looking fine.
My thyroid and blood work cameback totally normal.
I was 39 weeks when I went intonatural labor with her.
(41:24):
I had, at this point, I feltexperienced.
I was, you know, not a firsttime mom, not a first time into
labor and delivery, not a firsttime going into natural labor.
I knew the signs to look, forit was a weekend.
Friday I had started to havestronger Braxton Hicks.
I was like, okay, I think theseare starting to do something.
(41:46):
And it was going into a weekend.
So I was like, all right, well,there's not going to be a
doctor's office open, so let'sjust, let's wait and we'll see
what happens.
I tried not to call immediatelybecause I knew I was like I
don't want to sit in triage forfour hours again.
Let's wait, let's wait a littlebit.
So Friday I could feel theBraxton Hicks getting a little
(42:08):
stronger.
Saturday, I definitely was inpre-labor.
I was like, okay, these aredoing something.
These aren't in vain, these aresomething.
Things are starting to movealong.
And then it was probably 5 am onSunday morning.
I had lost my mucus plug and Ihad hardly slept that night
(42:31):
because of the Braxton Hicksthat were turning into real
contractions.
And I woke up about 5 am,before anybody else was awake,
and I started to bounce on myball and time my contractions.
I said, okay, these are about10 minutes apart at 5 am, but
they're strong, they're doingsomething, I can feel them,
(42:53):
they're taking my breath away alittle bit.
And around 7 am is when therest of my house woke up.
My husband got up.
I said I've been timing mycontractions.
Currently they're about eightminutes apart and getting
stronger as we speak.
And he said, okay, well, let'swait about a half an hour, we'll
see what happens.
Angela (43:12):
Sounds good to me.
Kelli (43:14):
They got stronger, they got closer together.
This is my third time around,so it was pretty fast at this
point and about 7.30, maybeeight o'clock, I called the
on-call number and I gotconnected with Dr Kaufman and
she said okay, tell me what'sgoing on.
(43:34):
I said, well, as of right now,they are five minutes apart and
they're strong and I don't knowwhy.
In my head I thought she wouldsay okay, let's wait another
couple of hours to see whathappens.
No, she's like you need to getto the hospital right now.
Within the next half an hour.
(43:55):
You need to be at registration.
She's like this is your thirdbaby.
I said yes, she's like yeah,you need to go.
So I was like oh, okay,thankfully my parents had moved
up closer to us at that point,at this point, so they were only
10 minutes away, not two hours.
I called my parents.
They came over.
This was around like 8.30.
(44:18):
I had gotten to the hospital atnine.
Registration in my room at 9.30.
Vivian was born at like 11.30.
So it was very fast.
It was like 5 am contractions.
7 am timing them.
8 am call the doctor.
(44:40):
9 am check in.
11.30, baby.
Like boom, boom, boom, boom.
Oh, my gosh.
Angela (44:44):
So it was Dr Kaufman that met you in there that day,
9am check in 1130 baby like boom, boom, boom, boom, I labor.
It was Dr Kaufman that met youin there that day.
Kelli (44:49):
Yes.
So Dr Kaufman was the one thatwas on call that weekend and,
funny enough though she didn'tdeliver her, a resident
delivered her, I think.
They looked at me and they werelike she's a third time mom,
probably a good experience forsomeone learning.
(45:10):
And so it was.
Yeah, it was a resident thatdid a great job.
She did a phenomenal deliveringher, honestly, so she'll
probably make a great doctorsomeday.
I did end up getting theepidural, but I went into
natural labor as much as I could.
I was probably like eightcentimeters.
I'm actually very surprisedthat they gave me the epidural
(45:31):
because of how fast I wasprogressing, but I knew I was
like, oh, I got to ask for itnow, because if I don't ask for
it now they're not going to giveit to me.
I was very nervous aboutgetting an epidural again just
because of my previousexperience with Evelyn's labor,
but I communicated that to theanesthesiologist.
I said just, I'm going to betransparent.
My last epidural was not a goodexperience and this is why and
(45:53):
he was very careful and I couldtell that he really took his
time and really took what I said.
And you know he said I'm goingto communicate everything that
I'm doing.
I need you to communicate whatyou're feeling, cause that's
just going to further help memake this better for you and so
I.
We had great communication andVivian Vivian is my third
daughter Vivian's epidural wentway better, way better
(46:16):
experience.
I don't know how effective itwas, because I gave delivery
Like I delivered her like 20minutes after I had the epidural
, so I don't even know if itreally worked at that point, but
in my mind it helped and Iguess that's all that mattered.
So how was your birth?
My birth with her was very fast.
It was maybe 10 minutes ofpushing and I was able to get
(46:42):
her out.
I didn't tear this time, sothat was really nice.
No stitches is my first time nostitches.
She was eight pounds, twoounces came fast and furious,
healthy, as could be mypostpartum care.
This labor altogether was waydifferent because now we're
(47:02):
completely out of COVID.
I was able to have visitors inthe hospital, which had never
happened previously.
My husband was able to leave,which he wasn't able to the
first two times, and I was ableto see everyone's faces.
I didn't have to take a COVIDtest.
I didn't have to wear a mask.
This felt like a you know whatyou would probably consider like
(47:25):
a normal labor and delivery,pre-covid, and so I'm glad that
now mamas that get to labor havea way more normal, I guess is
the only word I can think ofexperience.
And I'm glad that I was able tohave that, because had I not
(47:50):
had my third child, I wouldn'thave known a labor without masks
and protocols and COVID tests.
So I think having herdefinitely healed that part of
me.
That was like this is not how Ipictured my labor is going and
my daughters were able to cometo the hospital and meet their
sister in the hospital.
So it was a way, way, waybetter birthing and recovery
(48:13):
experience, because it felt alittle bit more natural and a
little bit more normal and howyou would expect a labor and
delivery to go.
Angela (48:25):
You could see other human faces in your space
instead of just all of the PPE.
Kelli (48:30):
Exactly exactly.
Angela (48:33):
Yeah, oh, so how was your postpartum time with her?
Like obviously you're stillpostpartum, but like how was
your, like you know, the lastfew weeks been last 12 weeks?
Kelli (48:43):
Yes.
So I'd have to say herpostpartum has been the most
difficult hormonal wise I can,as far as like transitioning
into the kids, transitioningfrom two to three kids, hasn't
really been that hard.
I've already gotten used tosplitting my time.
I've gotten used to jugglingthings, so that hasn't really
(49:03):
been hard.
I've gotten used to jugglingthings, so that hasn't really
been hard.
But trying to make sure thatI'm present for all three,
that's probably been the mostdifficult.
It really is true when they sayone kid is one kid, two kids is
three kids, three kids is 10kids.
I don't know what it is, butwhen you jump to that third one
it's like it kicks up the chaoslike seven notches.
(49:25):
But I think 12 weeks in, we'refinally starting to get a little
bit of a routine and managementof that down.
Thankfully I have a veryhands-on husband and father so
he takes the reign on our oldertwo a lot.
He does work a lot.
That's obviously why I'm ableto be a stay at home mom.
But when he is home, he's homeand he's, he's doing bedtime,
(49:51):
he's doing bath, he's helping,you know, with dinner, he's
cleaning up and truly like hehas helped my post-term mental
state a ton.
So I think I'm finally startingto come off the hormonal
rollercoaster, which feels nice.
(50:12):
But other than that she's been abreeze.
She's been my easiest baby.
I don't even want to say itbecause I don't want to jinx it,
but she sleeps great.
Knock on wood, she sleepsphenomenal, which I did not have
with my previous two.
My older two girls were upevery hour on the dot for like a
year, so this is like a total,you know, 180 for me, getting
(50:37):
five hours stretches at a time.
I'm like I'm waiting for theother shoe to drop.
Knock on wood again.
Oh my gosh, I can't jinx it.
She's.
She's an easy breezy baby, so Ireally can't complain.
Angela (50:53):
Yeah, it can definitely be a hormonal roller coaster and
postpartum sometimes, buthaving that amazing support from
your partner just really justmakes all of the difference.
You know makes it manageable alittle more.
Kelli (51:05):
Yes, yes, I truly can't imagine doing it without him.
Like every time that he stepsin, when he's cause we've just
been together for so long.
At this point, I think he canjust read my cues without me
even having to say anything,Like my face says it all and he
knows exactly how I'm feelingwithout me even having to say it
(51:26):
all the time.
So he's like okay, girls, let'sgo do something because mommy
needs a minute.
And I'm just like oh, thank you.
So I couldn't imagine nothaving that partner who is
supportive in that way.
I'm very fortunate for him and,and even when I don't have it
(51:48):
just on my side, I'm easily ableto communicate that to him.
And he knows, you know, okay, Iknow I let me step in, let me
help out, and you know we'll getthis done together.
And I'm like thank you, Thankyou, Thank you.
I just need a moment, Mommyjust needs a moment yeah.
Angela (52:05):
Just refresh for a little bit.
Right as a final question, ifyou were to give advice to
someone who's expecting, or evennew parents, what is one of the
biggest things you'd want toshare?
Kelli (52:18):
I've learned so much over the last five years of, you
know, being a mom and the hugemajority of my last five years
of my life has been beingpregnant and breastfeeding and
taking care of babies, and it'sreally been my whole life, the
last five.
So I think the biggest thing Iwould share is everything is a
(52:43):
phase.
This isn't going to be your newpermanent you know, the baby
that doesn't sleep every night,you will sleep again eventually.
The baby that's up crying shewill sleep, or he will sleep
again eventually.
Teething comes and goes.
Everything is temporary andit's not permanent and you will
(53:06):
feel normal again.
I'd say like two years,postpartum is when I started to
really feel like myself again,and so this time, with the
postpartum, of course, I'm stillonly 12 weeks postpartum, so
I'm not fully feeling likemyself, but I know that I will.
So that's the beauty in havingdone this multiple times is I
(53:27):
know that there is a light atthe end of the tunnel and I will
feel like myself again and youwill feel like yourself again
and everything's going to beokay.
I think it is the overarchingsentiment is everything will be
okay, even when you feel likeyou're drowning, and it's not
going to be okay and nothingwill ever go back to normal
(53:49):
again.
It will and it's going to beokay.
You got it.
Angela (53:53):
Yeah, absolutely, it is so important to remember that.
Kelli (53:57):
Yes, you really feel like this is my new normal.
I'm never going to sleep againand I'm not going to shower
every day, and it just feels sopermanent and it's not.
And even though that's hard toaccept in the moment, just trust
me, you'll feel like yourselfagain.
Angela (54:18):
So, before we go, do you want to share a little bit
about your business, the thingsthat you offer and how people
can find you?
If they want to share a littlebit about your business, the
things that you offer and howpeople can find you, if they
want to, yeah, absolutely so.
Kelli (54:28):
My business, Katie Marketing.
You can find me on Instagram orFacebook it's just Kelly Dunley
, katie Marketing, and I helpsmall businesses with social
media management, graphic design, content creation, consulting,
ad campaigns truly, almostanything marketing related.
(54:49):
That's what I have my degree in.
I've been working in marketingfor like a decade at this point
and I've kind of I've wore everyhat in the marketing field that
you could think of.
I've worked in radio, I'veworked in TV, I've worked in
print, and it's my passion.
I've worked in radio, I'veworked in TV, I've worked in
(55:09):
print, and it's my passion.
I love what I do and I trulyfeel that my client's success is
my success.
So I will always do everythingthat I can to ensure that I'm
providing you the best marketingexperience that I can offer.
Angela (55:22):
Awesome.
Well, I will link all of yourinformation in the show notes so
anybody that might beinterested in that, that has a
small business looking for that,can check you out.
Thank you so much for takingthe time to chat with me and
share your story today.
It's been such a pleasurechatting with you.
Kelli (55:40):
Absolutely.
Thanks for reaching out.
Angela (55:42):
This was fun absolutely thanks for reaching out.
This was fun.
Before you go, I just want toremind you I have a ton of
resources for pregnancy andbirth.
If you're pregnant, whetheryou're a first-time mom or if
this is your fifth baby, I wantyou to check out the show notes,
because I have some freetrainings and free downloads
that you can sign up for, aswell as the link to access my
(56:02):
labor of love, a comprehensiveself-paced online childbirth
education course.
I created this coursespecifically for moms who don't
want to be told what to do,regardless of where you're
birthing or who you're birthingwith, and I'd honestly love to
teach you everything that I knowso that you can prepare for an
autonomous birth experience andprepare to step into your role
(56:25):
as the leader of your birthjourney.
So click to the show notes,check out all of those links and
, if you ever have any questions, feel free to DM me at
mymainbirth over on Instagram.
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