August 22, 2025 • 51 mins
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Are you a soon to be mom, a seasoned mother, or simply interested in the world of birth? You’re in the right place!
In this episode, we discuss:
- Home birth in Maine with midwifery care and support from Sacopee Midwives
- Devon's thoughts on The Birth Portal Experience with Dr. Emily Wilson and the importance of preparing your mindset for birth
- The challenges of navigating a complicated tear after a beautiful home birth and Devon's experience transfering to Biddeford hospital for a repair
- ….and a whole lot more!
Devon shared her first birth story on episode 41 of the podcast so definitely go check that out to hear her full story
Additional Resources you’ll LOVE…
If you are ready to prepare for an autonomous birth experience, where you’re respected as the authority over your body and your baby… regardless of where you plan on birthing -
CLICK HERE for 10% off the MyAutonomous Birth self-paced, online course!
Not sure where to start? I’ve got you covered! Check out my FREE resource, 37 Questions to Ask Your Care Provider. Whether you’re interviewing new providers or have already established care, this FREE resource offers guidance on important topics to discuss with your provider.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Devon (00:00):
So I had contractions all night and things just weren't
progressing.
It was sometimes like an hourwithout having a single
contraction and then I'd have acouple more and I did start to
get pretty frustrated.
I felt like I was losing allthis sleep and I had the midwife
sleeping over and we'd sent myson to my parents and it was
(00:21):
like supposed to be happeningand it wasn't.
I think I just started to getin my head about it too.
I started to do all of thethings I did in my first labor,
like I went in the showerbecause I loved the shower the
last time and I sat in the samespot and I was trying to like,
recreate and make this thinghappen and it wasn't working.
Angela (00:41):
I'm Angela and I'm a certified birth photographer,
experienced doula, childbirtheducator and your host here on
the my Maine Birth podcast.
This is a space where we sharethe real-life stories of
families and their unique birthexperiences in the beautiful
state of Maine, from our state'sbiggest hospitals to birth
(01:08):
center births and home births.
Every birth story deserves tobe heard and celebrated.
Whether you're a soon-to-be mom, a seasoned mother or simply
interested in the world of birth, these episodes are for you.
Welcome back.
You're listening to episode 126of my Main Birth.
As a reminder, I share alldifferent types of stories that
are submitted to me Hospitalbirths, birth center births, all
different types of home births,positive stories, negative
(01:30):
stories and everything inbetween.
The only requirement forsharing a birth story on the
podcast is that at least one ofyour birth stories is a main
birth story.
As an added bonus, all of mypodcast guests receive a gift
certificate for a familyadventure photo session on the
session day of your choice.
I host session days for mypodcast guests at iconic
(01:52):
locations across Mainethroughout the spring, summer
and fall, and because these daysare reserved exclusively for my
podcast guests, I still haveplenty of fall dates open.
So if you're interested injoining the community of Maine
Moms sharing birth stories onthe podcast.
You can fill out the form overon the podcast page on my
website, mymainbirthcom, or youcan always send me a message
(02:16):
over on Instagram at mymainbirth.
Today's birth story guest isDevin, and she is here at around
four months postpartum to shareall about her second birth
experience.
Devin shared her first birthstory back in episode 41 of the
podcast, so go check that out ifyou want to hear her full story
(02:36):
.
All right, hi Devin, welcome tomy Main Birth.
Hey, angela, how are you?
I'm doing well.
How are you?
I'm doing great.
It's good to see you again.
Yeah, I'm so excited to hearyour second birth story.
How exciting.
So, to get started, would youshare a little bit about you and
(02:59):
your family?
Devon (03:00):
Yeah, so I live in Alfred with my husband Travis, and we
now have two kids.
Our son, Anders, just turnedtwo in June, and we have an
almost four-month-old daughter,Ingrid.
Angela (03:16):
How did you find out you were pregnant for the second
time and what were your thoughtsin choosing your care?
Devon (03:22):
So it was a very happy surprise.
It had been pretty difficult toget pregnant for the first time
, and so I had started weaningmy first.
We had introduced cow's milk.
He was like 13 months old butwas still nursing, and I hadn't
(03:42):
gotten my period back.
I was sort of anticipatingneeding to completely wean and
then start trying to getpregnant.
And then suddenly I was brushingmy teeth and my toothbrush
started to taste really weirdand tasted like soap.
Asking my husband did you cleanmy toothbrush?
(04:02):
What is happening?
I went and bought a new one,cause I couldn't make it taste
normal, but it didn't faze me.
I just was like something's offabout my toothbrush and and I
went out with a friend and got adonut and it tasted really bad.
I've never had a gross donut.
Like even if I don't love it,it's never tasted awful.
(04:23):
This is really weird.
Um and so that day I took apregnancy test, just like that
was the only thing I could thinkof that that would explain
those two things.
And it was positive and we justcould not believe it, like, had
you know, weren't planning onit at all, but it was the dream
to not have to go through thatprocess again, of of trying, and
(04:44):
that had been pretty stressfuland hard the first time.
So we had always wished ohlovely an accident.
So that was really exciting.
And my husband didn't believeme that any line means pregnant.
It was pretty faint and so heran out and got the digital ones
and confirmed that it waspositive.
And in terms of my care, I justimmediately reached out to the
(05:08):
same midwives.
I had used Sokobi for my firstbirth and loved everything about
them, had no intentions to everuse anybody else, and so they
were pretty much the firstpeople to know after my husband
and just wanted to make surethat I got a spot with them.
People to know after my husbandand just wanted to make sure
that I got a spot with them.
So, yeah, I just I didn'treally think about it Honestly,
(05:31):
it was just instant.
Angela (05:31):
Like I know that I would use them in the future.
Yeah, so how are you feelingduring that pregnancy?
Devon (05:35):
Really generally pretty good.
I was surprised that I actuallyfelt much better this time
around.
I sort of anticipated, you know, you hear it's so hard to be
pregnant with a toddler, which Idon't disagree with but I think
just the pregnancy itself waseasier this time around.
The first trimester I wasphysically fine, I didn't feel
as nauseous, I didn't throw up,but emotionally it felt really
(05:57):
hard.
I felt pretty down anddepressed, not about the
pregnancy at all.
I was very excited about thepregnancy, just, I think, the
way the hormones affected methis time around.
I felt it like that way insteadof physically.
And then I woke up like themorning that I hit the second
trimester and felt like a newperson.
I had been kind of worried thatit was going to last.
(06:19):
The whole time.
I hadn't thought of it as likea first trimester symptom, but I
just was like, oh, I feelnormal again.
So that was a really nicechange and yeah, I felt like I
got the second trimester sort ofburst of energy.
I honestly barely felt pregnant,like if I didn't have a bump I
(06:40):
don't think I would have known Iwas pregnant, which was awesome
.
I didn't experience that thefirst time, I think.
Towards the end I started tofeel more physically done
earlier.
My last pregnancy I went untilalmost 43 weeks and I never felt
like physically like I was donebeing pregnant, where this time
, by like 35 weeks, I felt likeI'm really big and tired Like
(07:01):
this.
This isn't that fun anymore.
But in general I felt reallylucky to have a pretty easy
pregnancy physically.
Angela (07:10):
So how were your appointments looking throughout
your pregnancy and did you doany testing?
Devon (07:17):
Yes.
So I did the genetic testing inthe first trimester and we also
found out through that that wewere having a girl and
everything you know luckily cameback negative for that.
I did the anatomy scan at 20weeks.
I did the test for gestationaldiabetes at home.
I did like a smoothie recipeand just took my own fasting
(07:39):
blood sugar and then after onehour and two hours blood sugar
and then after one hour and twohours and I did the GBS test
around like 37 weeks.
The appointments it's funny Ikind of beforehand was wondering
how I was going to fill in ourappointment each time because
the first time around I'd had somany questions and didn't know
a whole lot going into thepregnancy.
(08:01):
So we'd talk about you knowwhat would it mean if I was GBS
positive or, you know, just likelearning a lot of information.
So I didn't know like how Iwould fill an hour appointment
each time.
But I felt like we actually hadmore to talk about this time.
Just my first birth I had apretty bad tear and I think that
(08:23):
sort of dominated my my likethoughts and feelings about that
pregnancy.
And I had a pretty bad tear andI think that sort of dominated
my thoughts and feelings aboutthat pregnancy and I had a lot
of fear going into the secondone about birth.
In that way I just reallyreally did not want to tear like
that again and I really didn'twant to have to transfer to the
hospital.
My first I gave birth at homeand then transferred for a
repair, and so I felt like wejust talked about that a lot
(08:46):
because it was just on my mindlike ways that we could avoid it
, like things I could do at home, things the midwives could do
to support it, just sort ofmentally I think I just had to
talk it through and it took along time.
So I was very grateful to havethose long appointments to just
(09:20):
like rehash that again and again, and my midwives are really
helpful in helping me come upwith ways to of emotional side
of it.
I did her birth portalexperience and helped me feel
ready for birthing, to sort ofaccept what was going to happen,
and I felt like it hearing hertell me like you could give
birth and not tear was what Ineeded to hear.
Just have somebody like whoknows what they're doing, tell
(09:42):
me like this could actually beokay.
So that was just have somebodylike who knows what they're
doing, tell me like this couldactually be okay.
So that was, that was reallygreat for me.
So, yeah, I'd say that that.
And then the other thing I'd saythat sort of took up a lot of
time with my appointments wasshe kept flipping transverse so
she'd be head down and then gosideways and I could feel it was
very obvious to me when shewould flip and so I'd start
(10:06):
doing all the spinning babiesand versions.
I'd put ice packs and heatpacks and play music, like I
tried all these things to gether to flip back head down and
she would, and I'd go back to mymidwives and they would confirm
she was head down and thenshe'd flip again down and then
(10:26):
she'd flip again.
So that caused me a lot ofstress in the third trimester,
just really wanting a home birth, really wanting a vaginal birth
, and being worried that shewould get stuck at some point,
being in the wrong position.
But I want to say it was around36 weeks she started to stay
put and I had read that that wasprobably going to happen, that
second or subsequent babies canoften move a lot more, but I
(10:49):
still just felt like reallyworried about it.
So towards the end I did get onegrowth scan.
My bundle height wasn't growingquite as quickly as it had been
and so I like just past 40weeks, I got a growth scan which
showed she was already overeight pounds.
Turned out to be wrong anyway,but there wasn't any worry about
(11:11):
it after that.
It felt like she was above the50th percentile and they did
like the fluid levels and sawthat she was taking practice
breaths and all that.
So I felt like I got someconfirmation that everything was
OK.
Angela (11:23):
It is nice to have that reassurance, but that was kind
of one of the things that cameup in your first birth story too
right when, like, theultrasound was like not totally
correct.
Devon (11:30):
Yeah, both of mine have been way over estimating the
weight, which is funny becauseat this one the woman came in
and her first line was all right, am I going to give you an
eviction notice, which reallybugged us, like no, you're not,
but yeah, I think, suggestingthat she would recommend an
(11:51):
induction or something.
And once she told us the size Isaid, oh, how accurate do you
think?
That is Just kind of curiouswhat she would say.
And she said, well, they can beoff, but I'm very accurate.
She said she had measured herdaughter-in-law or something and
was perfectly on the spot.
And then she was way off.
So I, you know, I felt like ittold us what we needed to know,
(12:13):
that she wasn't growthrestricted, there wasn't some
issue.
But I didn't put too much stockinto the number.
I was like, okay, as long asshe's not, you know, four pounds
or something, we're, we're okay.
Angela (12:27):
Exactly.
You got the overall informationand you're going to stick with
your plan.
She can keep her evictionnotice.
Oh my God.
Devon (12:35):
Yeah, she's so confident, like I'm perfectly accurate,
you know.
Angela (12:39):
Wow, that's funny.
Would you share a little bitmore about your thoughts on
Emily Wilson's the Birth Portalexperience?
I'm so curious how was that foryou?
Devon (12:49):
Yeah, it was very different than any sort of care
I'd ever gotten.
I had gone to pelvic floor PTabout 10 months postpartum with
my first just for sort of moretypical pelvic pelvic floor
stuff and this was a prettydifferent experience.
It was much more sort of tunedinto the emotional, like mental
(13:11):
component as well as thephysical.
So you know, she asked allabout my birth, all about the
tear specifically, because thatwas sort of why I was there and
my thoughts and feelings andplans for the birth.
It felt like sort of anintegrated part of my birth prep
rather than just like focusingon the pelvic floor.
(13:33):
And the birth portal part wasreally interesting.
I'm not a super good likemeditator or not great at like
imagining.
I'm pretty like concrete anddon't do much meditating, which
(13:54):
was a lot of what her workentailed.
But I think it was really goodfor me and it helped me work
through a lot of my fears aboutthe birth, about postpartum and
recovery, and actually got meexcited for the birth.
I was really excited to have ababy, but I was not excited to
give birth again because offears about tearing and that
(14:17):
recovery.
And during this birth portalceremony she sort of had me lay
on my side ceremony.
She sort of had me lay on myside and it's hard to explain,
but basically kind of createsthis birth situation where, like
, the baby is born and she likeplaces it on your chest, she put
a lot of weight onto my chest.
I could feel her coming downthe birth canal and then get the
(14:39):
baby on my chest and that wasthis moment I felt like, oh my
gosh, I'm going to actually havea baby on my chest, and it made
me able to imagine it goingdifferently.
I was stuck in this like I feltlike my birth was going to be
the same as the first timearound, but maybe faster.
Right, I felt like it would befaster but all the same things
would happen.
(14:59):
Like I would labor in the sameplaces and the same positions
and then the same tear wouldhappen, and I was replaying that
sort of story in my mind.
And her leading this pretendbirth, where things went
differently, actually worked ina way that I honestly didn't
really expect it to.
I thought, oh, this will be aninteresting experience, but not
totally my thing, and I came outof it like really pretty blown
(15:24):
away by the whole experience.
So I would highly recommend it.
I know it's hard to get in withher.
She's pretty booked, but I wasglad I only went to her maybe
three times, but I felt like forwhat I needed, that was enough.
Angela (15:40):
Yeah, the mental aspect of preparing for birth is often
underrated.
I feel like it's like, yeah,like the most underrated maybe
piece of like the birth preppuzzle and it's just so
important to really prepare yourmindset for birth, to like
going into it, to have apositive experience.
Devon (16:04):
I listened to so many positive stories and I felt like
I did everything to prepare andwent in pretty confidently.
And the second time, becausethings hadn't quite gone as I
planned and I felt like I haddone everything to avoid that
tear, right, like everythingthey say to do is what I did,
like I wasn't on my back, Ididn't have an epidural, I had
no coach pushing, I right, likeit was like, okay, what else am
(16:25):
I supposed to do?
Like I just got unlucky,basically with the statistics
and but that was scary because Ididn't know what else I could
do to prepare um to for thingsto go differently the second
time.
And so that seeing, seeing her,was one thing that I was like,
okay, this is different, yeah,I'm trying one more thing.
(16:45):
And and she just made me feelmore confident because I was
worried that I'd get to thepushing stage and be really
scared to push and like that,that I would somehow sabotage
myself.
And, honestly, when it cametime to push, like and I'll get
to that later, but I just itdidn't cross my mind, I didn't
really think about it at all.
(17:06):
So I think it, I think it kindof worked.
Angela (17:09):
Yeah, that's so incredible.
And then also combined with,like, the prenatal care, which
is really focused on each parent, you know, and like you needed
to talk about that, like formost of your appointments.
That is just amazing that themidwives kind of meet you where
you're at.
In that way it's preparing foryour birth, even if it's like,
you know, second or fourth orfifth, you know, baby.
(17:29):
You know it's like always sosupportive to have that prenatal
care well-rounded.
Devon (17:35):
Yeah, one thing that was also really nice was that
because they had been there formy first birth, they remembered
it vividly, like I'm I'm reallyimpressed.
I know they go to a lot ofbirths, but they remembered
things about my birth that theywere able to help me recognize.
Oh, like that was a weird thingthat probably won't happen
again.
My son, when he was born, kindof his head was born and then he
(17:57):
sort of supermanned his armsout.
They say Like we haven't seen ababy do that and that's
probably not going to happenagain.
And having them who were thereand experienced it with me and
able to talk through it feltdifferent than telling it to a
stranger.
Angela (18:14):
Yeah, oh, my gosh, definitely so was his position
as he was emerging, then thereason that they thought
contributed to the tearing.
Devon (18:24):
But he just did this weird thing with his hands,
where he shot them up.
Angela (18:28):
Wow, that's interesting Birth, is?
It's unpredictable?
Yeah, yeah, okay, tell me whatwere like the final weeks and
then days leading up to whenyour labor started, like for you
.
Devon (18:39):
So, like I said, my first had gone till almost 43 weeks.
He was born at 42 and five andso I had this time known to
mentally prepare to go away pastmy due date.
I had.
I was due on April 19th and Itold myself I was going to have
a May baby.
I really hyped myself up that Iwanted her to be born in May,
(18:59):
like I don't want an April baby,just I don't know, because I
felt like I needed to do that.
I needed to do that and she waseventually born at 41 on the
dot, which felt early to me.
I was not quite ready.
I was ready, I had the stuffready and I was excited, but it
didn't feel like I was past mydue date because I had just
(19:22):
wrapped my head around the firstweek of May.
In terms of labor starting, Ihad prodromal labor, for it
started on the 24th, likeovernight.
I had, I was havingcontractions, but they were
pretty mild, like I.
Just I stayed in bed and I kindof knew it was early and
(19:43):
prodromal at that point, like Iwasn't actually thinking I'm
having a baby tonight.
It just felt like, oh, I'mfeeling stuff, point.
Like I wasn't actually thinkingI'm having a baby tonight.
It just felt like, oh, I'mfeeling stuff.
And I texted my midwives in themorning when I woke up and said
, oh, I was like havingcontractions last night, but
nothing at this point.
And then that evening or likelate afternoon they started up
again.
It was sort of the same, like Icould keep going about my day,
(20:05):
as you know, taking care of myson and feeling them, but I
wasn't timing anything or reallythinking too much about it.
But we decided that night tosend my son to my parents house,
just in case we didn't want himhere for the birth.
I had originally thought I did,and then I got a nosebleed at
(20:26):
one point and saw how panickedhe was and felt like that
wouldn't, it wouldn't be goodfor any of us to have him here.
So he got picked up and wethought like maybe it could be
tonight.
Um, I had a feeling it wasgonna pick up once he left.
So I texted the midwives thatnight around nine and let them
(20:47):
know like I was having themabout like six to ten minutes
apart, but they were prettyshort contractions and Acadia
one of the midwives.
She asked a couple questionsand then asked if she could come
over and just sleep on hercouch and I was like, yeah,
that's, I didn't mind at all ifshe came.
But I also didn't want it to bea false alarm, because I had
(21:08):
contractions the night beforeand nothing happened.
And she was really sweet andwas like no, I'd feel better
just being there in casesomething does happen, and no
pressure at all.
Worst thing is, I just go homein the morning and unfortunately
that did happen.
So I had contractions all nightand things just weren't
(21:28):
progressing.
It was sometimes like an hourwithout having a single
contraction and then I'd have acouple more and I did start to
get pretty frustrated.
I felt like I was losing allthis sleep and I had the midwife
sleeping over and we'd sent myson to my parents and it was
like supposed to be happeningand it wasn't.
I think I just started to getin my head about it too.
(21:50):
I started to do all of thethings I did in my first labor,
like I.
I went in the shower because Iloved the shower the last time
and I sat in the same spot and Ijust trying to like, recreate
and make this thing happen andit wasn't working.
So Acadia stayed over and shewould check on me now and then
we'd chat.
I was having a lot of backlabor and talking about how to
(22:14):
try to get baby into maybe abetter position, but she she
headed out in the morning whennothing was happening.
So that day a bunch of myfamily was up visiting and so we
spent the day at my parents'house, about 30 minutes from us,
and I was having contractionsthe whole day.
Looking back, I was obviouslyin early labor At this point.
(22:37):
I'd been going on a couple ofdays, and so I was just in
denial that it was actuallyramping up a little bit.
We were celebrating Easter andI was just eating and hanging
out with everyone, and thenpeople would say, are you okay?
And I was like, yeah, you know,just like having contractions
at the Easter dinner table.
Angela (22:59):
And what else are you going to do, really, right?
I mean, you're just living yourlife until baby comes.
Devon (23:03):
Yeah, but I think it really helped because I did not
think I was in labor.
And then my husband was like oh, do you want to take a bath?
My parents have this nice jettub.
Oh, that sounds great.
So I took a nice bath, whichthat's one of those things,
looking back like I've neverleft a family function to go
take a bath.
Obviously I was in labor, butin my head I was just enjoying
(23:28):
the tub.
And then my husband and I wenton a walk.
We were supposed to go out to abar and have drinks Not me,
obviously.
But we went on a little walkright before we left and I was
like you know, I just don't knowif I want to go out for drinks.
This just doesn't seem.
I just don't have the energy, Idon't feel like it.
So we decided we'd head home.
(23:50):
We got home, I laid down to turnon some Netflix and I had a big
contraction.
My water broke and I was likewell, it's a very good thing
we're not at the bar right now.
So right away we called themidwives to let them know that
(24:10):
my water broke and I knew atthat point that things were
about to really pick up.
That contraction was a really,really strong one and I figured
like my body had been doingsomething over the past couple
of days, like it wasn't movingas quickly as I'd wanted it to.
But I figured that at thatpoint things were about to start
happening.
So we called the midwives andthey told Travis to get the tub
(24:31):
filled up right away and thatthey were coming immediately.
And he ended up having a lot oftub problems, like the hose
didn't work and it was sprayingall over the bathroom.
He was getting really stressedand I had to eventually tell him
like I need oxytocin right now.
Stop banging around andfreaking out about the tub.
(24:55):
If we don't fill it, we don'tfill it.
But the baby's going to comeeither way and I need you to
calm down.
And he did a great job, like herecognized at that point.
But you know he had said afterhe felt like that was his one
job and he was failing and hehad tested the hose and why
didn't it work.
But he did a really great joband we used five gallon buckets
(25:18):
and he got it filled and I justpaced all around the house.
I had labor combs and that waspretty much all I needed to cope
.
He was really busy filling thepool and I just didn't think I
(25:39):
was very far along yet.
It didn't feel as intense as Iremembered, and one thing that
Dr Emily Wilson had given me wasthis visualization of other
women, sort of like holding myback, like ancestors or you know
other women in my life who'vegiven birth, and so I used that
(25:59):
actually a lot in labor and alsoI had this image like a flower,
sort of opening as thecontraction peaked and then like
closing as it would go backdown, and I was just sort of on
my own doing that, and every nowand then I'd have one really
intense one where I needed himto give me counter pressure and
(26:20):
I'd call for him from thebathroom and the midwives
arrived and she asked oh, howlong have your contractions been
?
Two minutes apart arrived andshe asked oh, how long have your
contractions been two minutesapart?
I said, oh, I had no idea theywere two minutes apart, like I
wasn't, I wasn't timing anythingor I just didn't think I was
that far along oh, and I shouldmention at this point, we had a
birth photographer and so I toldher.
(26:43):
Then I told her when my waterbroke and she said, okay, let's
see what your midwives thinkabout when I should head over.
And so when they asked how longthey'd been two minutes apart I
let her know that they were twominutes apart and so she left
immediately.
And yeah, at that point theysuggested that I got in the tub
(27:04):
and I felt like it was possiblytoo early.
I was really worried aboutslowing things down and so I
kind of whispered to my husbandlike I don't want to get in yet.
I think things are going toslow down.
So he's like, okay, just youknow, keep keep walking, do your
thing.
And I ended up hopping in thetub a few minutes later and he
actually wrote down.
(27:25):
I asked him to write down a fewtime stamps as labor was going,
because I was just curious.
I knew I wouldn't remember.
So he had put like when I wasworried about contractions
slowing down and then about like10 minutes later I was pushing.
So it did not slow down.
I was just much further alongthan I had imagined I could be
(27:48):
Like I anticipated this birthbeing faster, but I had no idea
how much faster it would be.
So I had maybe two contractionsin the tub and then felt the
urge to push.
I pushed for a little bit inthe tub and this time I had a
hard sided tub, which I reallyliked a lot better than the
inflatable.
My first birth I had aninflatable and I felt like I
(28:10):
couldn't really get a lot oflike energy behind it because I
was flopping around.
So I really liked having thehard sided one.
But I eventually did get out ofthe tub and I sort of hung on
to my husband's shoulders andused gravity to help, like that
had really been effective in myfirst birth.
(28:30):
And so we were like, oh, weshould try that, that position
we really liked during Andersbirth and within a couple of
pushes her head was born and Ijust felt so with it.
This time, my first birth, I hadbeen so exhausted I had thrown
up a lot during labor.
It was a lot longer the time ofday, like it had been the
middle of the night where I hadthrown up a lot during labor.
It was a lot longer the time ofday.
It had been the middle of thenight where I had gotten no
(28:51):
sleep and this time just feltlike I was so alert, I was so
conscious and I was saying to myhusband like oh, don't you want
to catch her?
Do I need to let go of you?
Do you want to catch her?
And I just felt normal, I washaving a baby, but I felt like
myself, which was a cool andweird experience so my midwife
(29:16):
was there and sort of caught herhead and then my husband kind
of caught her body with the nextpush and so, yeah, she was born
in our living room juststanding right next to our couch
, and it was.
It was incredible.
I just really felt like it waseasy in a way that I just hadn't
expected, like the first hadjust prepared me for something
(29:39):
that was so incredibly difficult.
And this definitely haddifficult moments.
It was not easy, but incomparison to the first, it just
felt like the speed and I thinkthe hours and days of sort of
denial that labor was happeningreally helped me in the end,
because I felt like I just hadthis two hour labor and you know
(30:03):
pushing was.
I think it was like a littleunder 30 minutes of pushing,
which is a lot better than threehours.
So I felt like really justsurprised by how quickly it went
and that I felt good and, yeah,I was just really really happy.
So I kind of laid down on thecouch right after that and
(30:26):
Travis put her right on my chestand she had a really nice long
cord so I was able to, like haveher all the way up and our
photographer did not make it.
She walked in like maybe fiveminutes after she was born and
we felt so bad, like she knewinstantly that that she had
(30:47):
missed it and it wasn't herfault.
It just went too quickly.
Angela (30:51):
Oh no, but at least you got those super fresh postpartum
photos.
Devon (30:56):
Yes, very beautiful photos.
And it really like we hadn'tcut the cord, we hadn't, like we
were still a mess.
It's very raw and beautiful.
It makes me wish even more thatwe had the birth photos, seeing
how beautiful the post-birthphotos are, but only because we
love them, like it's veryspecial.
And, yeah, I hadn't moved fromthe, I was still just laying on
(31:18):
the couch, had baby on my chestand and she walked in and did a
great job at just sort ofquietly integrating herself and
getting a lot of photos.
I didn't really even noticeanything that she was doing.
Angela (31:31):
So how was the rest of your immediate postpartum?
Was there tearing?
Devon (31:37):
So the placenta came right away.
My daughter's foot had kind ofpulled it.
The cord was wrapped around herfoot and ankle and so when she
was born it just sort of cameout.
And so that was really apleasant surprise, like I didn't
have to really push or, youknow, go through any concerns
about the placenta being bornand I I moved to a bed to just
(32:04):
sort of have our golden hour andestablish breastfeeding, and so
that was a really nice quiettime called my family let them
know that she was born and theywere all still at the bar.
So it's like fun to like beable to talk to everybody
together.
So that was a really, reallynice time and I was pretty
(32:26):
anxious for them to look and seeabout the tearing and I felt
like they kept pushing it off.
I think they just wanted me toenjoy the golden hour and get
breastfeeding going.
They did the newborn exam, butwith my first I had waited quite
a while and what they told meat Maine Med was like it was a
lot worse because I had waitedso long, but the swelling made
(32:49):
it harder to do the repair.
So I just felt like I wanted toknow and so they looked and
pretty quickly, like very gently, broke it to me that it was bad
and I would have to transferagain and I had like the biggest
cry of my life, honestlyno-transcript.
(33:31):
And so I just took a while tobe sad and we chatted about what
we wanted to do, because I hada lot of concerns about how it
was handled last time.
I didn't have a greatexperience in the hospital and
so they suggested that I couldgo to Bedford instead and maybe
(33:51):
just trying a different hospitalwould be a better experience.
And I also told them that Iwanted anesthesia my first birth
.
With the repair I had declinedgetting like a spinal or
anything because I just I thinkit was more stubbornness.
I felt like man, I just hadthis baby at home with like no
drugs and I just did this thingand I don't want to now get an
(34:15):
epidural after the fact.
Like that just felt kind offunny to me and I was worried
about like breastfeeding and themedication.
But this time I'd done moreresearch and more thinking and
just felt like I think nothaving the medication had really
made that first repair prettybrutal.
I felt like I was reallysuffering and I did not want to
(34:38):
do that again.
So I'd planned if I did need totransfer, I wanted anesthesia
and so I talked to midwivesabout that and they called
Biddeford and told them that wewere coming, that I wanted a
spinal and hoping that theycould be prepared for when I got
there.
(34:58):
So we got in the car, drove tothe hospital and left.
It honestly did not go well.
So, maine Med, when youtransfer, they had been ready
for me and were able to bring meright upstairs, right to labor
and delivery and had peopleready to go At Biddeford, even
(35:21):
though the midwives had called,they said I had to go through ER
and so I had to go throughtriage and then see an ER doc
who had to examine me, eventhough the midwives had told
them like she has a very badtear, you know they examined me
at home and had called to letthem know, but they said, no,
(35:44):
the ER doctor has to do it.
And so she had me like put myhips up on a bedpan and examine
me and it's like and of courseit's extremely painful, and
she's like, yep, you have a tear.
Yep, we knew that.
She said I don't, I don't dothose repairs, you're going to
(36:04):
have to go to labor and delivery, which we knew the whole time.
Right Like it.
It just felt like, okay, nowtwo more hours have gone by, I
was really trying to do thisquicker and just get it over
with.
So they finally bring meupstairs and they were only able
to give me Tylenol in the ER.
So I had some Tylenol andfinally got up to labor and
(36:25):
delivery and it was just apretty poor experience honestly
felt like the nurse didn't knowwhat she was doing, like they
couldn't get an IV for a verylong time.
And then the doctor came in and, you know, said that he didn't
have the right tools.
He kept saying he neededforceps, which I was like very
(36:49):
confused because I've alreadyhad a baby and he just he didn't
have a great bedside manner.
And my husband ended up kind ofconfronting him at one point
and saying, like you know, doyou even want to be our doctor?
Basically, and I started crying, I was pretty upset and
(37:10):
emotional, like the wholeexperience was really hard and
after my husband confronted him,he was, he was much better.
It it actually worked, but Iwas worried it would have the
opposite effect.
I I thought like I don't wantto be the difficult patient, in
case it turns him like moreagainst us.
(37:31):
And I think it was just veryjarring for me going from my
midwives at home and supersupportive, like loving
environment, to this verysterile, like hospital room
where I didn't I'd never metthis doctor and he's he would
say things like, oh, I'm goingto tell you everything I'm going
to do, and then would justimmediately start touching
(37:52):
things without saying anything.
And and my midwife came with usand and she ended up, you know,
she really pointed that out andwould tell me okay, you're
going to feel his touch becausehe wasn't telling me.
And like, informed consent, youknow, is very important and he
(38:12):
wasn't giving me any of that andhe didn't want me to get a
spinal.
He said we could just do itwithout it and I said, no, I'd
really like it, and so I did lethim try.
But then he told me, well, Idid ask for the anesthesia and I
didn't say it to him, but I'mlike I have done this before
(38:38):
without it, but I would reallylike it.
I feel like they'd be able todo a better job if I'm more numb
and that I'd have a lesstraumatic experience.
And he said, well, we're goingto have to call the
anesthesiologist he's at homeand I said that's fine.
You know, I really just I wantto not feel this.
(38:59):
So we waited.
They called theanesthesiologist, who came in
from home, and they also had tocall in nurses for the PACU and
for the OR and they told me Iwouldn't be able to have the
baby with me in the OR, which Isaid was okay.
So finally, like after a verylong wait, they were ready and I
(39:20):
went to the OR and it was sucha good experience.
Like he really changed his tune.
It was the same doctor, but Ithink my husband's confrontation
and I think the fact that Icouldn't feel anything also
helped.
I was probably more compliantand I did not enjoy the
experience at all, but I'm verygrateful that we pushed to get
(39:41):
the anesthesia.
It made it a lot more bearablefor me and I think it helped
with the recovery ultimatelythat they were able to do a more
thorough job without mesquirming around.
It did prolong how long I had tostay in the hospital because I
couldn't walk, so I had to stay,I think about six hours after
(40:02):
they finished the repair.
I had to stay until I couldwalk and go to the bathroom and
then after that I was able to gohome.
I could walk and go to thebathroom and then after that I
was able to go home.
I also this time made sure toask for harder pain medication
to go home with.
I had declined that last timeand regretted it, so I just
wanted to have something on handif I needed it.
(40:22):
So I think ultimately, havingdone it once before, I was
grateful in a way to have hadthat experience, to know what I
wanted the second time around,like I knew what had made it
challenging.
It was just frustrating thatthe first time I'd gone they
really pushed me to get a spinaland I had refused.
(40:42):
And then this time I was like,okay, you know, they're right,
I'm going to get the spinal, andthey told me I didn't need it.
(41:10):
No-transcript, a rough end to areally incredible birth, but
ultimately I think it hasn'tovershadowed my birth at all.
With my first, I felt like fora year all I thought about was
the tear and the recovery andhow awful those two parts of it
were.
And this time has been muchdifferent.
(41:32):
I think I had an easierrecovery, despite having a
similar tear.
My husband was able to be homefor three weeks this time, and
so he was able to wait on me andbring me everything in bed and
take care of our toddler, so Iwas able to just heal a bit
quicker.
But yeah, that was myunfortunate end to thinking I
(41:55):
was going to have a differenttear, but I do feel okay about
it in a way that I didn't thefirst time around.
Angela (42:03):
Yeah, it's almost like having that mindset work that
you did before.
Did you find that that washelpful for you in the
postpartum?
Devon (42:10):
Yeah, I think it definitely was, and I mean I
think I needed it to get throughthe birth, regardless of how it
ended up, like I didn't feelany fear about pushing or
tearing.
I wasn't thinking about tearingwhile in labor, I was just in
the moment doing it and I reallydidn't think that they were
going to tell me right, like youjust have so many hormones
(42:32):
after and you feel good and youfeel like man, I just did that,
like I'm going to just get tostay in this bed, and so that
was a really shocking moment.
But I'm grateful that it wasthat I wasn't already thinking,
oh my gosh, I have to go, youknow, deal with this.
I just got to actually have mycouple of golden hours actually
(42:52):
and enjoy my baby and and thendeal with it.
And I think it's easier thesecond time around, knowing that
you do eventually feel better.
I think the first time I wasshocked at how long the recovery
was and I felt like I don'tknow if I'm ever going to have
another baby.
I don't know if I'm ever goingto feel like no pain or no
(43:14):
discomfort.
And now I know like, okay, it'sgoing to be longer than like
maybe the average recovery, buteventually it will be, you know,
okay, and it has been a loteasier the second time around.
So I think, whether it's themental side of it or just
physically, it actually onlyended up being a second degree
(43:39):
perineal tear.
There's just like six othertears that needed repair as well
, so it's kind of like a complexsecond degree tear where the
first had been a complex thirddegree tear and he said that it
just tore along all of the scartissue.
I think the hard part for menow is feeling like it will
(43:59):
definitely happen again if wechoose to have more children
like this time, felt like thisis the big test to see.
Right, like the first, we knowwhat happened, but maybe
subsequent ones will be better.
And now I I sort of have thisfeeling of I have to be prepared
, if there's a third, that I'llprobably transfer again.
Angela (44:19):
And I, who knows, maybe that's not true, but that's
definitely the feeling that Ihave was there anything that
came up in your postpartumvisits when you were talking
about how this all unfolded?
Was your baby in a funnyposition.
Devon (44:34):
No, my understanding is that the thinking is just that
the scar tissue wasn't as strongas normal tissue would be, and
so my first had been this funkything he did at birth and this
one her position was totallynormal, like she was.
You know, they said they wereworried when I was having all
(44:56):
that back labor that maybe shewas sunny side up, but she
wasn't.
She had came out prettysmoothly and was smaller, like
it wasn't a big baby situation.
I think it was just that thescar tissue wasn't as strong,
and so the only thing we talkedabout that could potentially
help is maybe like biggerspacing between kids.
(45:17):
That couldn't hurt, notnecessarily that it would cure
everything, but that maybewaiting three years between kids
or four years between kidsmight help that tissue be a
little stronger.
But I haven't done much of adive into thinking about it yet.
I think right now we're justsort of enjoying the second baby
and we'll cross that bridgewhen we get to it.
(45:38):
But no, I think her positionwas pretty good.
Angela (45:43):
So what did she end up weighing?
Because you went to thatultrasound right before you gave
birth and you said they wereestimating about eight pounds,
and yeah, so what was her weightat birth?
Devon (45:52):
Yeah, so they had said she was eight pounds six ounces
a week before she was born andshe was born at 714.
Angela (46:02):
A week later, after the ultrasound?
Yeah, now, as a final question,if you were to give advice to
someone who's expecting, or evennew parents, at this point in
your journey, what's the biggestthing that you would want to
share?
I?
Devon (46:15):
mean, it's nothing earth shattering, but, I think, just
choosing your care providerswisely.
I'm really grateful to have hadthe midwives that I had for
both my births and just to feelso like loved and supported and
cared for.
And it's, you know, havingtransferred now twice and and
(46:36):
felt the difference in the carelike just such a dramatic shift,
like I was saying, to go fromfrom home, where they're like
bringing me soup and just beingreally doting and loving and
taking care of my whole family,to that different environment
where, granted, I don't have arelationship with those
(46:58):
providers at all, but it justreinforces to me how important
it is to feel like you're on thesame page and that you don't
have to advocate for yourself somuch when you have the right
people, so much when you havethe right people right.
I feel like I knew what Iwanted at the hospital in terms
of pain relief, in terms ofgetting to hold my baby, but it
(47:19):
was really hard, even knowingwhat I wanted, to push back in
those moments.
They would tell me, okay, givethe baby to dad.
And I knew I didn't want to.
But I also just didn't have theenergy to fight it and didn't
want to be the difficult patientand I know that with my
midwives I wouldn't have to dothat right, that they would
(47:42):
always keep the baby with me ifit was possible, and so I think
just finding someone that youdon't have to convince of what
you want or need is reallyimportant, and this time around
we've also found a differentpediatrician.
Like I said, I knew that withbirth I wanted a care provider
that aligned with our thoughtsand feelings on birth, but we
(48:06):
didn't have a pediatrician thatwas quite aligned with us and we
found a different one this timearound.
That's just made a really bigdifference and we didn't realize
, like, how much we didn't likeour old one, I guess, um, until
we had this new one.
That feels like we're on thesame page and they were really
great about um having home birthclients, and so they know that
(48:30):
the midwives are taking care ofthe baby through 12 weeks, so we
didn't have to bring her inlike days after birth.
We were able to wait a littlebit longer, which was nice as
you're trying to recover and notbe out of the house.
So I think I would recommend toall new parents to try to find
a pediatrician as well.
As you know birth and pregnancycare that aligns with with what
(48:55):
you're looking for yeah, it'sreally so important.
Angela (48:59):
Like you don't want to have to fight your way through
birth, you know, like advocatingfor every little thing that you
want and same thing when youare taking your young kids to
the doctor, like you don't wantto do that.
Do you care who yourpediatrician is?
Devon (49:14):
It's Waterboro Village Pediatrics.
We have Alex Lang, theirpediatrician.
But yeah, it was great.
They told us that you can comein whenever you're ready, which
was nice.
It wasn't like you have to waituntil 12 weeks.
I think we actually brought herin around two weeks.
My husband wanted.
(49:34):
He felt like we shouldestablish it earlier, but it was
just nice not to have thepressure right Like we could
have waited.
We could have brought her inearlier.
So one little complication wasshe had a infantile hemangioma
on her lip which I had neverheard of and the midwife saw it
at a postpartum visit because itdevelops around two weeks old.
I think at 11 days hers startedto appear and they recommended
(49:59):
we see the pediatrician.
So we went in and we're sent toMaine Med and have been dealing
with that.
But otherwise she's been great.
Angela (50:08):
Well, thank you so much, Devin, for taking the time to
chat with me today and shareyour birth story.
It's such a pleasure chattingwith you.
Yeah, you too.
Thank you.
Before you go, I just want toremind you I have a ton of
resources for pregnancy andbirth.
If you're pregnant, whetheryou're a first-time mom or if
this is your fifth baby.
(50:28):
I want you to check out theshow notes, because I have some
free trainings and freedownloads that you can sign up
for, as well as the link toaccess my labor of love, a
comprehensive, self-paced onlinechildbirth education course.
I created this coursespecifically for moms who don't
want to be told what to do,regardless of where you're
birthing or who you're birthingwith, and I'd honestly love to
(50:51):
teach you everything that I knowso that you can prepare for an
autonomous birth experience andprepare to step into your role
as the leader of your birthjourney.
So click to the show notes,check out all of those links and
, if you ever have any questions, feel free to DM me at my main
birth over on Instagram.
So I had contractions all night and things just weren't
progressing.
It was sometimes like an hourwithout having a single
contraction and then I'd have acouple more and I did start to
get pretty frustrated.
I felt like I was losing allthis sleep and I had the midwife
sleeping over and we'd sent myson to my parents and it was
(00:21):
like supposed to be happeningand it wasn't.
I think I just started to getin my head about it too.
I started to do all of thethings I did in my first labor,
like I went in the showerbecause I loved the shower the
last time and I sat in the samespot and I was trying to like,
recreate and make this thinghappen and it wasn't working.
Angela (00:41):
I'm Angela and I'm a certified birth photographer,
experienced doula, childbirtheducator and your host here on
the my Maine Birth podcast.
This is a space where we sharethe real-life stories of
families and their unique birthexperiences in the beautiful
state of Maine, from our state'sbiggest hospitals to birth
(01:08):
center births and home births.
Every birth story deserves tobe heard and celebrated.
Whether you're a soon-to-be mom, a seasoned mother or simply
interested in the world of birth, these episodes are for you.
Welcome back.
You're listening to episode 126of my Main Birth.
As a reminder, I share alldifferent types of stories that
are submitted to me Hospitalbirths, birth center births, all
different types of home births,positive stories, negative
(01:30):
stories and everything inbetween.
The only requirement forsharing a birth story on the
podcast is that at least one ofyour birth stories is a main
birth story.
As an added bonus, all of mypodcast guests receive a gift
certificate for a familyadventure photo session on the
session day of your choice.
I host session days for mypodcast guests at iconic
(01:52):
locations across Mainethroughout the spring, summer
and fall, and because these daysare reserved exclusively for my
podcast guests, I still haveplenty of fall dates open.
So if you're interested injoining the community of Maine
Moms sharing birth stories onthe podcast.
You can fill out the form overon the podcast page on my
website, mymainbirthcom, or youcan always send me a message
(02:16):
over on Instagram at mymainbirth.
Today's birth story guest isDevin, and she is here at around
four months postpartum to shareall about her second birth
experience.
Devin shared her first birthstory back in episode 41 of the
podcast, so go check that out ifyou want to hear her full story
(02:36):
.
All right, hi Devin, welcome tomy Main Birth.
Hey, angela, how are you?
I'm doing well.
How are you?
I'm doing great.
It's good to see you again.
Yeah, I'm so excited to hearyour second birth story.
How exciting.
So, to get started, would youshare a little bit about you and
(02:59):
your family?
Devon (03:00):
Yeah, so I live in Alfred with my husband Travis, and we
now have two kids.
Our son, Anders, just turnedtwo in June, and we have an
almost four-month-old daughter,Ingrid.
Angela (03:16):
How did you find out you were pregnant for the second
time and what were your thoughtsin choosing your care?
Devon (03:22):
So it was a very happy surprise.
It had been pretty difficult toget pregnant for the first time
, and so I had started weaningmy first.
We had introduced cow's milk.
He was like 13 months old butwas still nursing, and I hadn't
(03:42):
gotten my period back.
I was sort of anticipatingneeding to completely wean and
then start trying to getpregnant.
And then suddenly I was brushingmy teeth and my toothbrush
started to taste really weirdand tasted like soap.
Asking my husband did you cleanmy toothbrush?
(04:02):
What is happening?
I went and bought a new one,cause I couldn't make it taste
normal, but it didn't faze me.
I just was like something's offabout my toothbrush and and I
went out with a friend and got adonut and it tasted really bad.
I've never had a gross donut.
Like even if I don't love it,it's never tasted awful.
(04:23):
This is really weird.
Um and so that day I took apregnancy test, just like that
was the only thing I could thinkof that that would explain
those two things.
And it was positive and we justcould not believe it, like, had
you know, weren't planning onit at all, but it was the dream
to not have to go through thatprocess again, of of trying, and
(04:44):
that had been pretty stressfuland hard the first time.
So we had always wished ohlovely an accident.
So that was really exciting.
And my husband didn't believeme that any line means pregnant.
It was pretty faint and so heran out and got the digital ones
and confirmed that it waspositive.
And in terms of my care, I justimmediately reached out to the
(05:08):
same midwives.
I had used Sokobi for my firstbirth and loved everything about
them, had no intentions to everuse anybody else, and so they
were pretty much the firstpeople to know after my husband
and just wanted to make surethat I got a spot with them.
People to know after my husbandand just wanted to make sure
that I got a spot with them.
So, yeah, I just I didn'treally think about it Honestly,
(05:31):
it was just instant.
Angela (05:31):
Like I know that I would use them in the future.
Yeah, so how are you feelingduring that pregnancy?
Devon (05:35):
Really generally pretty good.
I was surprised that I actuallyfelt much better this time
around.
I sort of anticipated, you know, you hear it's so hard to be
pregnant with a toddler, which Idon't disagree with but I think
just the pregnancy itself waseasier this time around.
The first trimester I wasphysically fine, I didn't feel
as nauseous, I didn't throw up,but emotionally it felt really
(05:57):
hard.
I felt pretty down anddepressed, not about the
pregnancy at all.
I was very excited about thepregnancy, just, I think, the
way the hormones affected methis time around.
I felt it like that way insteadof physically.
And then I woke up like themorning that I hit the second
trimester and felt like a newperson.
I had been kind of worried thatit was going to last.
(06:19):
The whole time.
I hadn't thought of it as likea first trimester symptom, but I
just was like, oh, I feelnormal again.
So that was a really nicechange and yeah, I felt like I
got the second trimester sort ofburst of energy.
I honestly barely felt pregnant,like if I didn't have a bump I
(06:40):
don't think I would have known Iwas pregnant, which was awesome
.
I didn't experience that thefirst time, I think.
Towards the end I started tofeel more physically done
earlier.
My last pregnancy I went untilalmost 43 weeks and I never felt
like physically like I was donebeing pregnant, where this time
, by like 35 weeks, I felt likeI'm really big and tired Like
(07:01):
this.
This isn't that fun anymore.
But in general I felt reallylucky to have a pretty easy
pregnancy physically.
Angela (07:10):
So how were your appointments looking throughout
your pregnancy and did you doany testing?
Devon (07:17):
Yes.
So I did the genetic testing inthe first trimester and we also
found out through that that wewere having a girl and
everything you know luckily cameback negative for that.
I did the anatomy scan at 20weeks.
I did the test for gestationaldiabetes at home.
I did like a smoothie recipeand just took my own fasting
(07:39):
blood sugar and then after onehour and two hours blood sugar
and then after one hour and twohours and I did the GBS test
around like 37 weeks.
The appointments it's funny Ikind of beforehand was wondering
how I was going to fill in ourappointment each time because
the first time around I'd had somany questions and didn't know
a whole lot going into thepregnancy.
(08:01):
So we'd talk about you knowwhat would it mean if I was GBS
positive or, you know, just likelearning a lot of information.
So I didn't know like how Iwould fill an hour appointment
each time.
But I felt like we actually hadmore to talk about this time.
Just my first birth I had apretty bad tear and I think that
(08:23):
sort of dominated my my likethoughts and feelings about that
pregnancy.
And I had a pretty bad tear andI think that sort of dominated
my thoughts and feelings aboutthat pregnancy and I had a lot
of fear going into the secondone about birth.
In that way I just reallyreally did not want to tear like
that again and I really didn'twant to have to transfer to the
hospital.
My first I gave birth at homeand then transferred for a
repair, and so I felt like wejust talked about that a lot
(08:46):
because it was just on my mindlike ways that we could avoid it
, like things I could do at home, things the midwives could do
to support it, just sort ofmentally I think I just had to
talk it through and it took along time.
So I was very grateful to havethose long appointments to just
(09:20):
like rehash that again and again, and my midwives are really
helpful in helping me come upwith ways to of emotional side
of it.
I did her birth portalexperience and helped me feel
ready for birthing, to sort ofaccept what was going to happen,
and I felt like it hearing hertell me like you could give
birth and not tear was what Ineeded to hear.
Just have somebody like whoknows what they're doing, tell
(09:42):
me like this could actually beokay.
So that was just have somebodylike who knows what they're
doing, tell me like this couldactually be okay.
So that was, that was reallygreat for me.
So, yeah, I'd say that that.
And then the other thing I'd saythat sort of took up a lot of
time with my appointments wasshe kept flipping transverse so
she'd be head down and then gosideways and I could feel it was
very obvious to me when shewould flip and so I'd start
(10:06):
doing all the spinning babiesand versions.
I'd put ice packs and heatpacks and play music, like I
tried all these things to gether to flip back head down and
she would, and I'd go back to mymidwives and they would confirm
she was head down and thenshe'd flip again down and then
(10:26):
she'd flip again.
So that caused me a lot ofstress in the third trimester,
just really wanting a home birth, really wanting a vaginal birth
, and being worried that shewould get stuck at some point,
being in the wrong position.
But I want to say it was around36 weeks she started to stay
put and I had read that that wasprobably going to happen, that
second or subsequent babies canoften move a lot more, but I
(10:49):
still just felt like reallyworried about it.
So towards the end I did get onegrowth scan.
My bundle height wasn't growingquite as quickly as it had been
and so I like just past 40weeks, I got a growth scan which
showed she was already overeight pounds.
Turned out to be wrong anyway,but there wasn't any worry about
(11:11):
it after that.
It felt like she was above the50th percentile and they did
like the fluid levels and sawthat she was taking practice
breaths and all that.
So I felt like I got someconfirmation that everything was
OK.
Angela (11:23):
It is nice to have that reassurance, but that was kind
of one of the things that cameup in your first birth story too
right when, like, theultrasound was like not totally
correct.
Devon (11:30):
Yeah, both of mine have been way over estimating the
weight, which is funny becauseat this one the woman came in
and her first line was all right, am I going to give you an
eviction notice, which reallybugged us, like no, you're not,
but yeah, I think, suggestingthat she would recommend an
(11:51):
induction or something.
And once she told us the size Isaid, oh, how accurate do you
think?
That is Just kind of curiouswhat she would say.
And she said, well, they can beoff, but I'm very accurate.
She said she had measured herdaughter-in-law or something and
was perfectly on the spot.
And then she was way off.
So I, you know, I felt like ittold us what we needed to know,
(12:13):
that she wasn't growthrestricted, there wasn't some
issue.
But I didn't put too much stockinto the number.
I was like, okay, as long asshe's not, you know, four pounds
or something, we're, we're okay.
Angela (12:27):
Exactly.
You got the overall informationand you're going to stick with
your plan.
She can keep her evictionnotice.
Oh my God.
Devon (12:35):
Yeah, she's so confident, like I'm perfectly accurate,
you know.
Angela (12:39):
Wow, that's funny.
Would you share a little bitmore about your thoughts on
Emily Wilson's the Birth Portalexperience?
I'm so curious how was that foryou?
Devon (12:49):
Yeah, it was very different than any sort of care
I'd ever gotten.
I had gone to pelvic floor PTabout 10 months postpartum with
my first just for sort of moretypical pelvic pelvic floor
stuff and this was a prettydifferent experience.
It was much more sort of tunedinto the emotional, like mental
(13:11):
component as well as thephysical.
So you know, she asked allabout my birth, all about the
tear specifically, because thatwas sort of why I was there and
my thoughts and feelings andplans for the birth.
It felt like sort of anintegrated part of my birth prep
rather than just like focusingon the pelvic floor.
(13:33):
And the birth portal part wasreally interesting.
I'm not a super good likemeditator or not great at like
imagining.
I'm pretty like concrete anddon't do much meditating, which
(13:54):
was a lot of what her workentailed.
But I think it was really goodfor me and it helped me work
through a lot of my fears aboutthe birth, about postpartum and
recovery, and actually got meexcited for the birth.
I was really excited to have ababy, but I was not excited to
give birth again because offears about tearing and that
(14:17):
recovery.
And during this birth portalceremony she sort of had me lay
on my side ceremony.
She sort of had me lay on myside and it's hard to explain,
but basically kind of createsthis birth situation where, like
, the baby is born and she likeplaces it on your chest, she put
a lot of weight onto my chest.
I could feel her coming downthe birth canal and then get the
(14:39):
baby on my chest and that wasthis moment I felt like, oh my
gosh, I'm going to actually havea baby on my chest, and it made
me able to imagine it goingdifferently.
I was stuck in this like I feltlike my birth was going to be
the same as the first timearound, but maybe faster.
Right, I felt like it would befaster but all the same things
would happen.
(14:59):
Like I would labor in the sameplaces and the same positions
and then the same tear wouldhappen, and I was replaying that
sort of story in my mind.
And her leading this pretendbirth, where things went
differently, actually worked ina way that I honestly didn't
really expect it to.
I thought, oh, this will be aninteresting experience, but not
totally my thing, and I came outof it like really pretty blown
(15:24):
away by the whole experience.
So I would highly recommend it.
I know it's hard to get in withher.
She's pretty booked, but I wasglad I only went to her maybe
three times, but I felt like forwhat I needed, that was enough.
Angela (15:40):
Yeah, the mental aspect of preparing for birth is often
underrated.
I feel like it's like, yeah,like the most underrated maybe
piece of like the birth preppuzzle and it's just so
important to really prepare yourmindset for birth, to like
going into it, to have apositive experience.
Devon (16:04):
I listened to so many positive stories and I felt like
I did everything to prepare andwent in pretty confidently.
And the second time, becausethings hadn't quite gone as I
planned and I felt like I haddone everything to avoid that
tear, right, like everythingthey say to do is what I did,
like I wasn't on my back, Ididn't have an epidural, I had
no coach pushing, I right, likeit was like, okay, what else am
(16:25):
I supposed to do?
Like I just got unlucky,basically with the statistics
and but that was scary because Ididn't know what else I could
do to prepare um to for thingsto go differently the second
time.
And so that seeing, seeing her,was one thing that I was like,
okay, this is different, yeah,I'm trying one more thing.
(16:45):
And and she just made me feelmore confident because I was
worried that I'd get to thepushing stage and be really
scared to push and like that,that I would somehow sabotage
myself.
And, honestly, when it cametime to push, like and I'll get
to that later, but I just itdidn't cross my mind, I didn't
really think about it at all.
(17:06):
So I think it, I think it kindof worked.
Angela (17:09):
Yeah, that's so incredible.
And then also combined with,like, the prenatal care, which
is really focused on each parent, you know, and like you needed
to talk about that, like formost of your appointments.
That is just amazing that themidwives kind of meet you where
you're at.
In that way it's preparing foryour birth, even if it's like,
you know, second or fourth orfifth, you know, baby.
(17:29):
You know it's like always sosupportive to have that prenatal
care well-rounded.
Devon (17:35):
Yeah, one thing that was also really nice was that
because they had been there formy first birth, they remembered
it vividly, like I'm I'm reallyimpressed.
I know they go to a lot ofbirths, but they remembered
things about my birth that theywere able to help me recognize.
Oh, like that was a weird thingthat probably won't happen
again.
My son, when he was born, kindof his head was born and then he
(17:57):
sort of supermanned his armsout.
They say Like we haven't seen ababy do that and that's
probably not going to happenagain.
And having them who were thereand experienced it with me and
able to talk through it feltdifferent than telling it to a
stranger.
Angela (18:14):
Yeah, oh, my gosh, definitely so was his position
as he was emerging, then thereason that they thought
contributed to the tearing.
Devon (18:24):
But he just did this weird thing with his hands,
where he shot them up.
Angela (18:28):
Wow, that's interesting Birth, is?
It's unpredictable?
Yeah, yeah, okay, tell me whatwere like the final weeks and
then days leading up to whenyour labor started, like for you
.
Devon (18:39):
So, like I said, my first had gone till almost 43 weeks.
He was born at 42 and five andso I had this time known to
mentally prepare to go away pastmy due date.
I had.
I was due on April 19th and Itold myself I was going to have
a May baby.
I really hyped myself up that Iwanted her to be born in May,
(18:59):
like I don't want an April baby,just I don't know, because I
felt like I needed to do that.
I needed to do that and she waseventually born at 41 on the
dot, which felt early to me.
I was not quite ready.
I was ready, I had the stuffready and I was excited, but it
didn't feel like I was past mydue date because I had just
(19:22):
wrapped my head around the firstweek of May.
In terms of labor starting, Ihad prodromal labor, for it
started on the 24th, likeovernight.
I had, I was havingcontractions, but they were
pretty mild, like I.
Just I stayed in bed and I kindof knew it was early and
(19:43):
prodromal at that point, like Iwasn't actually thinking I'm
having a baby tonight.
It just felt like, oh, I'mfeeling stuff, point.
Like I wasn't actually thinkingI'm having a baby tonight.
It just felt like, oh, I'mfeeling stuff.
And I texted my midwives in themorning when I woke up and said
, oh, I was like havingcontractions last night, but
nothing at this point.
And then that evening or likelate afternoon they started up
again.
It was sort of the same, like Icould keep going about my day,
(20:05):
as you know, taking care of myson and feeling them, but I
wasn't timing anything or reallythinking too much about it.
But we decided that night tosend my son to my parents house,
just in case we didn't want himhere for the birth.
I had originally thought I did,and then I got a nosebleed at
(20:26):
one point and saw how panickedhe was and felt like that
wouldn't, it wouldn't be goodfor any of us to have him here.
So he got picked up and wethought like maybe it could be
tonight.
Um, I had a feeling it wasgonna pick up once he left.
So I texted the midwives thatnight around nine and let them
(20:47):
know like I was having themabout like six to ten minutes
apart, but they were prettyshort contractions and Acadia
one of the midwives.
She asked a couple questionsand then asked if she could come
over and just sleep on hercouch and I was like, yeah,
that's, I didn't mind at all ifshe came.
But I also didn't want it to bea false alarm, because I had
(21:08):
contractions the night beforeand nothing happened.
And she was really sweet andwas like no, I'd feel better
just being there in casesomething does happen, and no
pressure at all.
Worst thing is, I just go homein the morning and unfortunately
that did happen.
So I had contractions all nightand things just weren't
(21:28):
progressing.
It was sometimes like an hourwithout having a single
contraction and then I'd have acouple more and I did start to
get pretty frustrated.
I felt like I was losing allthis sleep and I had the midwife
sleeping over and we'd sent myson to my parents and it was
like supposed to be happeningand it wasn't.
I think I just started to getin my head about it too.
(21:50):
I started to do all of thethings I did in my first labor,
like I.
I went in the shower because Iloved the shower the last time
and I sat in the same spot and Ijust trying to like, recreate
and make this thing happen andit wasn't working.
So Acadia stayed over and shewould check on me now and then
we'd chat.
I was having a lot of backlabor and talking about how to
(22:14):
try to get baby into maybe abetter position, but she she
headed out in the morning whennothing was happening.
So that day a bunch of myfamily was up visiting and so we
spent the day at my parents'house, about 30 minutes from us,
and I was having contractionsthe whole day.
Looking back, I was obviouslyin early labor At this point.
(22:37):
I'd been going on a couple ofdays, and so I was just in
denial that it was actuallyramping up a little bit.
We were celebrating Easter andI was just eating and hanging
out with everyone, and thenpeople would say, are you okay?
And I was like, yeah, you know,just like having contractions
at the Easter dinner table.
Angela (22:59):
And what else are you going to do, really, right?
I mean, you're just living yourlife until baby comes.
Devon (23:03):
Yeah, but I think it really helped because I did not
think I was in labor.
And then my husband was like oh, do you want to take a bath?
My parents have this nice jettub.
Oh, that sounds great.
So I took a nice bath, whichthat's one of those things,
looking back like I've neverleft a family function to go
take a bath.
Obviously I was in labor, butin my head I was just enjoying
(23:28):
the tub.
And then my husband and I wenton a walk.
We were supposed to go out to abar and have drinks Not me,
obviously.
But we went on a little walkright before we left and I was
like you know, I just don't knowif I want to go out for drinks.
This just doesn't seem.
I just don't have the energy, Idon't feel like it.
So we decided we'd head home.
(23:50):
We got home, I laid down to turnon some Netflix and I had a big
contraction.
My water broke and I was likewell, it's a very good thing
we're not at the bar right now.
So right away we called themidwives to let them know that
(24:10):
my water broke and I knew atthat point that things were
about to really pick up.
That contraction was a really,really strong one and I figured
like my body had been doingsomething over the past couple
of days, like it wasn't movingas quickly as I'd wanted it to.
But I figured that at thatpoint things were about to start
happening.
So we called the midwives andthey told Travis to get the tub
(24:31):
filled up right away and thatthey were coming immediately.
And he ended up having a lot oftub problems, like the hose
didn't work and it was sprayingall over the bathroom.
He was getting really stressedand I had to eventually tell him
like I need oxytocin right now.
Stop banging around andfreaking out about the tub.
(24:55):
If we don't fill it, we don'tfill it.
But the baby's going to comeeither way and I need you to
calm down.
And he did a great job, like herecognized at that point.
But you know he had said afterhe felt like that was his one
job and he was failing and hehad tested the hose and why
didn't it work.
But he did a really great joband we used five gallon buckets
(25:18):
and he got it filled and I justpaced all around the house.
I had labor combs and that waspretty much all I needed to cope
.
He was really busy filling thepool and I just didn't think I
(25:39):
was very far along yet.
It didn't feel as intense as Iremembered, and one thing that
Dr Emily Wilson had given me wasthis visualization of other
women, sort of like holding myback, like ancestors or you know
other women in my life who'vegiven birth, and so I used that
(25:59):
actually a lot in labor and alsoI had this image like a flower,
sort of opening as thecontraction peaked and then like
closing as it would go backdown, and I was just sort of on
my own doing that, and every nowand then I'd have one really
intense one where I needed himto give me counter pressure and
(26:20):
I'd call for him from thebathroom and the midwives
arrived and she asked oh, howlong have your contractions been
?
Two minutes apart arrived andshe asked oh, how long have your
contractions been two minutesapart?
I said, oh, I had no idea theywere two minutes apart, like I
wasn't, I wasn't timing anythingor I just didn't think I was
that far along oh, and I shouldmention at this point, we had a
birth photographer and so I toldher.
(26:43):
Then I told her when my waterbroke and she said, okay, let's
see what your midwives thinkabout when I should head over.
And so when they asked how longthey'd been two minutes apart I
let her know that they were twominutes apart and so she left
immediately.
And yeah, at that point theysuggested that I got in the tub
(27:04):
and I felt like it was possiblytoo early.
I was really worried aboutslowing things down and so I
kind of whispered to my husbandlike I don't want to get in yet.
I think things are going toslow down.
So he's like, okay, just youknow, keep keep walking, do your
thing.
And I ended up hopping in thetub a few minutes later and he
actually wrote down.
(27:25):
I asked him to write down a fewtime stamps as labor was going,
because I was just curious.
I knew I wouldn't remember.
So he had put like when I wasworried about contractions
slowing down and then about like10 minutes later I was pushing.
So it did not slow down.
I was just much further alongthan I had imagined I could be
(27:48):
Like I anticipated this birthbeing faster, but I had no idea
how much faster it would be.
So I had maybe two contractionsin the tub and then felt the
urge to push.
I pushed for a little bit inthe tub and this time I had a
hard sided tub, which I reallyliked a lot better than the
inflatable.
My first birth I had aninflatable and I felt like I
(28:10):
couldn't really get a lot oflike energy behind it because I
was flopping around.
So I really liked having thehard sided one.
But I eventually did get out ofthe tub and I sort of hung on
to my husband's shoulders andused gravity to help, like that
had really been effective in myfirst birth.
(28:30):
And so we were like, oh, weshould try that, that position
we really liked during Andersbirth and within a couple of
pushes her head was born and Ijust felt so with it.
This time, my first birth, I hadbeen so exhausted I had thrown
up a lot during labor.
It was a lot longer the time ofday, like it had been the
middle of the night where I hadthrown up a lot during labor.
It was a lot longer the time ofday.
It had been the middle of thenight where I had gotten no
(28:51):
sleep and this time just feltlike I was so alert, I was so
conscious and I was saying to myhusband like oh, don't you want
to catch her?
Do I need to let go of you?
Do you want to catch her?
And I just felt normal, I washaving a baby, but I felt like
myself, which was a cool andweird experience so my midwife
(29:16):
was there and sort of caught herhead and then my husband kind
of caught her body with the nextpush and so, yeah, she was born
in our living room juststanding right next to our couch
, and it was.
It was incredible.
I just really felt like it waseasy in a way that I just hadn't
expected, like the first hadjust prepared me for something
(29:39):
that was so incredibly difficult.
And this definitely haddifficult moments.
It was not easy, but incomparison to the first, it just
felt like the speed and I thinkthe hours and days of sort of
denial that labor was happeningreally helped me in the end,
because I felt like I just hadthis two hour labor and you know
(30:03):
pushing was.
I think it was like a littleunder 30 minutes of pushing,
which is a lot better than threehours.
So I felt like really justsurprised by how quickly it went
and that I felt good and, yeah,I was just really really happy.
So I kind of laid down on thecouch right after that and
(30:26):
Travis put her right on my chestand she had a really nice long
cord so I was able to, like haveher all the way up and our
photographer did not make it.
She walked in like maybe fiveminutes after she was born and
we felt so bad, like she knewinstantly that that she had
(30:47):
missed it and it wasn't herfault.
It just went too quickly.
Angela (30:51):
Oh no, but at least you got those super fresh postpartum
photos.
Devon (30:56):
Yes, very beautiful photos.
And it really like we hadn'tcut the cord, we hadn't, like we
were still a mess.
It's very raw and beautiful.
It makes me wish even more thatwe had the birth photos, seeing
how beautiful the post-birthphotos are, but only because we
love them, like it's veryspecial.
And, yeah, I hadn't moved fromthe, I was still just laying on
(31:18):
the couch, had baby on my chestand and she walked in and did a
great job at just sort ofquietly integrating herself and
getting a lot of photos.
I didn't really even noticeanything that she was doing.
Angela (31:31):
So how was the rest of your immediate postpartum?
Was there tearing?
Devon (31:37):
So the placenta came right away.
My daughter's foot had kind ofpulled it.
The cord was wrapped around herfoot and ankle and so when she
was born it just sort of cameout.
And so that was really apleasant surprise, like I didn't
have to really push or, youknow, go through any concerns
about the placenta being bornand I I moved to a bed to just
(32:04):
sort of have our golden hour andestablish breastfeeding, and so
that was a really nice quiettime called my family let them
know that she was born and theywere all still at the bar.
So it's like fun to like beable to talk to everybody
together.
So that was a really, reallynice time and I was pretty
(32:26):
anxious for them to look and seeabout the tearing and I felt
like they kept pushing it off.
I think they just wanted me toenjoy the golden hour and get
breastfeeding going.
They did the newborn exam, butwith my first I had waited quite
a while and what they told meat Maine Med was like it was a
lot worse because I had waitedso long, but the swelling made
(32:49):
it harder to do the repair.
So I just felt like I wanted toknow and so they looked and
pretty quickly, like very gently, broke it to me that it was bad
and I would have to transferagain and I had like the biggest
cry of my life, honestlyno-transcript.
(33:31):
And so I just took a while tobe sad and we chatted about what
we wanted to do, because I hada lot of concerns about how it
was handled last time.
I didn't have a greatexperience in the hospital and
so they suggested that I couldgo to Bedford instead and maybe
(33:51):
just trying a different hospitalwould be a better experience.
And I also told them that Iwanted anesthesia my first birth
.
With the repair I had declinedgetting like a spinal or
anything because I just I thinkit was more stubbornness.
I felt like man, I just hadthis baby at home with like no
drugs and I just did this thingand I don't want to now get an
(34:15):
epidural after the fact.
Like that just felt kind offunny to me and I was worried
about like breastfeeding and themedication.
But this time I'd done moreresearch and more thinking and
just felt like I think nothaving the medication had really
made that first repair prettybrutal.
I felt like I was reallysuffering and I did not want to
(34:38):
do that again.
So I'd planned if I did need totransfer, I wanted anesthesia
and so I talked to midwivesabout that and they called
Biddeford and told them that wewere coming, that I wanted a
spinal and hoping that theycould be prepared for when I got
there.
(34:58):
So we got in the car, drove tothe hospital and left.
It honestly did not go well.
So, maine Med, when youtransfer, they had been ready
for me and were able to bring meright upstairs, right to labor
and delivery and had peopleready to go At Biddeford, even
(35:21):
though the midwives had called,they said I had to go through ER
and so I had to go throughtriage and then see an ER doc
who had to examine me, eventhough the midwives had told
them like she has a very badtear, you know they examined me
at home and had called to letthem know, but they said, no,
(35:44):
the ER doctor has to do it.
And so she had me like put myhips up on a bedpan and examine
me and it's like and of courseit's extremely painful, and
she's like, yep, you have a tear.
Yep, we knew that.
She said I don't, I don't dothose repairs, you're going to
(36:04):
have to go to labor and delivery, which we knew the whole time.
Right Like it.
It just felt like, okay, nowtwo more hours have gone by, I
was really trying to do thisquicker and just get it over
with.
So they finally bring meupstairs and they were only able
to give me Tylenol in the ER.
So I had some Tylenol andfinally got up to labor and
(36:25):
delivery and it was just apretty poor experience honestly
felt like the nurse didn't knowwhat she was doing, like they
couldn't get an IV for a verylong time.
And then the doctor came in and, you know, said that he didn't
have the right tools.
He kept saying he neededforceps, which I was like very
(36:49):
confused because I've alreadyhad a baby and he just he didn't
have a great bedside manner.
And my husband ended up kind ofconfronting him at one point
and saying, like you know, doyou even want to be our doctor?
Basically, and I started crying, I was pretty upset and
(37:10):
emotional, like the wholeexperience was really hard and
after my husband confronted him,he was, he was much better.
It it actually worked, but Iwas worried it would have the
opposite effect.
I I thought like I don't wantto be the difficult patient, in
case it turns him like moreagainst us.
(37:31):
And I think it was just veryjarring for me going from my
midwives at home and supersupportive, like loving
environment, to this verysterile, like hospital room
where I didn't I'd never metthis doctor and he's he would
say things like, oh, I'm goingto tell you everything I'm going
to do, and then would justimmediately start touching
(37:52):
things without saying anything.
And and my midwife came with usand and she ended up, you know,
she really pointed that out andwould tell me okay, you're
going to feel his touch becausehe wasn't telling me.
And like, informed consent, youknow, is very important and he
(38:12):
wasn't giving me any of that andhe didn't want me to get a
spinal.
He said we could just do itwithout it and I said, no, I'd
really like it, and so I did lethim try.
But then he told me, well, Idid ask for the anesthesia and I
didn't say it to him, but I'mlike I have done this before
(38:38):
without it, but I would reallylike it.
I feel like they'd be able todo a better job if I'm more numb
and that I'd have a lesstraumatic experience.
And he said, well, we're goingto have to call the
anesthesiologist he's at homeand I said that's fine.
You know, I really just I wantto not feel this.
(38:59):
So we waited.
They called theanesthesiologist, who came in
from home, and they also had tocall in nurses for the PACU and
for the OR and they told me Iwouldn't be able to have the
baby with me in the OR, which Isaid was okay.
So finally, like after a verylong wait, they were ready and I
(39:20):
went to the OR and it was sucha good experience.
Like he really changed his tune.
It was the same doctor, but Ithink my husband's confrontation
and I think the fact that Icouldn't feel anything also
helped.
I was probably more compliantand I did not enjoy the
experience at all, but I'm verygrateful that we pushed to get
(39:41):
the anesthesia.
It made it a lot more bearablefor me and I think it helped
with the recovery ultimatelythat they were able to do a more
thorough job without mesquirming around.
It did prolong how long I had tostay in the hospital because I
couldn't walk, so I had to stay,I think about six hours after
(40:02):
they finished the repair.
I had to stay until I couldwalk and go to the bathroom and
then after that I was able to gohome.
I could walk and go to thebathroom and then after that I
was able to go home.
I also this time made sure toask for harder pain medication
to go home with.
I had declined that last timeand regretted it, so I just
wanted to have something on handif I needed it.
(40:22):
So I think ultimately, havingdone it once before, I was
grateful in a way to have hadthat experience, to know what I
wanted the second time around,like I knew what had made it
challenging.
It was just frustrating thatthe first time I'd gone they
really pushed me to get a spinaland I had refused.
(40:42):
And then this time I was like,okay, you know, they're right,
I'm going to get the spinal, andthey told me I didn't need it.
(41:10):
No-transcript, a rough end to areally incredible birth, but
ultimately I think it hasn'tovershadowed my birth at all.
With my first, I felt like fora year all I thought about was
the tear and the recovery andhow awful those two parts of it
were.
And this time has been muchdifferent.
(41:32):
I think I had an easierrecovery, despite having a
similar tear.
My husband was able to be homefor three weeks this time, and
so he was able to wait on me andbring me everything in bed and
take care of our toddler, so Iwas able to just heal a bit
quicker.
But yeah, that was myunfortunate end to thinking I
(41:55):
was going to have a differenttear, but I do feel okay about
it in a way that I didn't thefirst time around.
Angela (42:03):
Yeah, it's almost like having that mindset work that
you did before.
Did you find that that washelpful for you in the
postpartum?
Devon (42:10):
Yeah, I think it definitely was, and I mean I
think I needed it to get throughthe birth, regardless of how it
ended up, like I didn't feelany fear about pushing or
tearing.
I wasn't thinking about tearingwhile in labor, I was just in
the moment doing it and I reallydidn't think that they were
going to tell me right, like youjust have so many hormones
(42:32):
after and you feel good and youfeel like man, I just did that,
like I'm going to just get tostay in this bed, and so that
was a really shocking moment.
But I'm grateful that it wasthat I wasn't already thinking,
oh my gosh, I have to go, youknow, deal with this.
I just got to actually have mycouple of golden hours actually
(42:52):
and enjoy my baby and and thendeal with it.
And I think it's easier thesecond time around, knowing that
you do eventually feel better.
I think the first time I wasshocked at how long the recovery
was and I felt like I don'tknow if I'm ever going to have
another baby.
I don't know if I'm ever goingto feel like no pain or no
(43:14):
discomfort.
And now I know like, okay, it'sgoing to be longer than like
maybe the average recovery, buteventually it will be, you know,
okay, and it has been a loteasier the second time around.
So I think, whether it's themental side of it or just
physically, it actually onlyended up being a second degree
(43:39):
perineal tear.
There's just like six othertears that needed repair as well
, so it's kind of like a complexsecond degree tear where the
first had been a complex thirddegree tear and he said that it
just tore along all of the scartissue.
I think the hard part for menow is feeling like it will
(43:59):
definitely happen again if wechoose to have more children
like this time, felt like thisis the big test to see.
Right, like the first, we knowwhat happened, but maybe
subsequent ones will be better.
And now I I sort of have thisfeeling of I have to be prepared
, if there's a third, that I'llprobably transfer again.
Angela (44:19):
And I, who knows, maybe that's not true, but that's
definitely the feeling that Ihave was there anything that
came up in your postpartumvisits when you were talking
about how this all unfolded?
Was your baby in a funnyposition.
Devon (44:34):
No, my understanding is that the thinking is just that
the scar tissue wasn't as strongas normal tissue would be, and
so my first had been this funkything he did at birth and this
one her position was totallynormal, like she was.
You know, they said they wereworried when I was having all
(44:56):
that back labor that maybe shewas sunny side up, but she
wasn't.
She had came out prettysmoothly and was smaller, like
it wasn't a big baby situation.
I think it was just that thescar tissue wasn't as strong,
and so the only thing we talkedabout that could potentially
help is maybe like biggerspacing between kids.
(45:17):
That couldn't hurt, notnecessarily that it would cure
everything, but that maybewaiting three years between kids
or four years between kidsmight help that tissue be a
little stronger.
But I haven't done much of adive into thinking about it yet.
I think right now we're justsort of enjoying the second baby
and we'll cross that bridgewhen we get to it.
(45:38):
But no, I think her positionwas pretty good.
Angela (45:43):
So what did she end up weighing?
Because you went to thatultrasound right before you gave
birth and you said they wereestimating about eight pounds,
and yeah, so what was her weightat birth?
Devon (45:52):
Yeah, so they had said she was eight pounds six ounces
a week before she was born andshe was born at 714.
Angela (46:02):
A week later, after the ultrasound?
Yeah, now, as a final question,if you were to give advice to
someone who's expecting, or evennew parents, at this point in
your journey, what's the biggestthing that you would want to
share?
I?
Devon (46:15):
mean, it's nothing earth shattering, but, I think, just
choosing your care providerswisely.
I'm really grateful to have hadthe midwives that I had for
both my births and just to feelso like loved and supported and
cared for.
And it's, you know, havingtransferred now twice and and
(46:36):
felt the difference in the carelike just such a dramatic shift,
like I was saying, to go fromfrom home, where they're like
bringing me soup and just beingreally doting and loving and
taking care of my whole family,to that different environment
where, granted, I don't have arelationship with those
(46:58):
providers at all, but it justreinforces to me how important
it is to feel like you're on thesame page and that you don't
have to advocate for yourself somuch when you have the right
people, so much when you havethe right people right.
I feel like I knew what Iwanted at the hospital in terms
of pain relief, in terms ofgetting to hold my baby, but it
(47:19):
was really hard, even knowingwhat I wanted, to push back in
those moments.
They would tell me, okay, givethe baby to dad.
And I knew I didn't want to.
But I also just didn't have theenergy to fight it and didn't
want to be the difficult patientand I know that with my
midwives I wouldn't have to dothat right, that they would
(47:42):
always keep the baby with me ifit was possible, and so I think
just finding someone that youdon't have to convince of what
you want or need is reallyimportant, and this time around
we've also found a differentpediatrician.
Like I said, I knew that withbirth I wanted a care provider
that aligned with our thoughtsand feelings on birth, but we
(48:06):
didn't have a pediatrician thatwas quite aligned with us and we
found a different one this timearound.
That's just made a really bigdifference and we didn't realize
, like, how much we didn't likeour old one, I guess, um, until
we had this new one.
That feels like we're on thesame page and they were really
great about um having home birthclients, and so they know that
(48:30):
the midwives are taking care ofthe baby through 12 weeks, so we
didn't have to bring her inlike days after birth.
We were able to wait a littlebit longer, which was nice as
you're trying to recover and notbe out of the house.
So I think I would recommend toall new parents to try to find
a pediatrician as well.
As you know birth and pregnancycare that aligns with with what
(48:55):
you're looking for yeah, it'sreally so important.
Angela (48:59):
Like you don't want to have to fight your way through
birth, you know, like advocatingfor every little thing that you
want and same thing when youare taking your young kids to
the doctor, like you don't wantto do that.
Do you care who yourpediatrician is?
Devon (49:14):
It's Waterboro Village Pediatrics.
We have Alex Lang, theirpediatrician.
But yeah, it was great.
They told us that you can comein whenever you're ready, which
was nice.
It wasn't like you have to waituntil 12 weeks.
I think we actually brought herin around two weeks.
My husband wanted.
(49:34):
He felt like we shouldestablish it earlier, but it was
just nice not to have thepressure right Like we could
have waited.
We could have brought her inearlier.
So one little complication wasshe had a infantile hemangioma
on her lip which I had neverheard of and the midwife saw it
at a postpartum visit because itdevelops around two weeks old.
I think at 11 days hers startedto appear and they recommended
(49:59):
we see the pediatrician.
So we went in and we're sent toMaine Med and have been dealing
with that.
But otherwise she's been great.
Angela (50:08):
Well, thank you so much, Devin, for taking the time to
chat with me today and shareyour birth story.
It's such a pleasure chattingwith you.
Yeah, you too.
Thank you.
Before you go, I just want toremind you I have a ton of
resources for pregnancy andbirth.
If you're pregnant, whetheryou're a first-time mom or if
this is your fifth baby.
(50:28):
I want you to check out theshow notes, because I have some
free trainings and freedownloads that you can sign up
for, as well as the link toaccess my labor of love, a
comprehensive, self-paced onlinechildbirth education course.
I created this coursespecifically for moms who don't
want to be told what to do,regardless of where you're
birthing or who you're birthingwith, and I'd honestly love to
(50:51):
teach you everything that I knowso that you can prepare for an
autonomous birth experience andprepare to step into your role
as the leader of your birthjourney.
So click to the show notes,check out all of those links and
, if you ever have any questions, feel free to DM me at my main
birth over on Instagram.
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