Are you a soon to be mom, a seasoned mother, or simply interested in the world of birth? You’re in the right place!
In this episode, we discuss:
- Hannah's 5 year fertility journey
- Home Birth in Maine
- Midwifery care and doula support
- A 6 day NICU stay for meconium aspiration
- ….and a whole lot more!
Additional Resources you’ll LOVE…
If you are ready to prepare for an autonomous birth experience, where you’re respected as the authority over your body and your baby… regardless of where you plan on birthing -
CLICK HERE for 10% off the MyAutonomous Birth self-paced, online course!
Not sure where to start? I’ve got you covered! Check out my FREE resource, 37 Questions to Ask Your Care Provider. Whether you’re interviewing new providers or have already established care, this FREE resource offers guidance on important topics to discuss with your provider.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Hannah (00:00):
I loved the appointments because I went from like seeing
the midwife at the hospital forlike five minutes at a time to
seeing Sarah for over an hour atour appointments and really
getting into things.
So by the time I transferred toher at 33 weeks I had only
gained two pounds in mypregnancy.
(00:21):
In my pregnancy so she reallylike focused on like diet and
what I was eating and like up tomy protein and was giving me
supplements.
Like it was honestly a bitoverwhelming just because I had
transferred to her so late intomy care so we were trying to fit
it into like a six week time.
(00:43):
But she was amazing and myhusband loved her and he was
very nervous about the homebirth and I think he just kind
of blamed that on infertility,like which is fine.
But he was really like well,we've got our baby now, like we
have to do everything we can,and he he just really wasn't as
(01:04):
comfortable or educated abouthome birth as as I felt.
But our midwife actually reallywas amazing with him and gave
him a lot of information and puthim at ease, like her her home
birth center is or I mean herbirth center is like almost
right across the street from theambulance bay, like the fire
(01:27):
station.
So she was like you know we'revery close if something went
wrong, but she was like we onlyhave a 2% transfer rate, like
she, she like really took thetime to talk to him and myself,
which was nice.
Angela (01:47):
I'm Angela and I'm a certified birth photographer,
experienced doula, childbirtheducator and your host here on
the my Maine Birth podcast.
This is a space where we sharethe real life stories of
families and their unique birthexperiences in the beautiful
state of Maine, from our state'sbiggest hospitals to birth
center births and home births.
(02:08):
Every birth story deserves tobe heard and celebrated.
Whether you're a soon-to-be mom, a seasoned mother or simply
interested in the world of birth, these episodes are for you.
Welcome back.
You're listening to episode 130of my Main Birth.
Today's birth story guest isHannah, and she is here to share
(02:33):
about her five-year journeywith infertility and then about
her pregnancy and home birth,which involved a true shoulder
dystocia something that youdefinitely want a skilled
midwife present, for which shehad, fortunately, as well as a
transfer to the hospital for herson around seven hours
postpartum for some meconiumaspiration.
(02:55):
Hannah shares about herexperience during the six
subsequent days spent in theNICU, as well as the incredible
and loving support of hermidwife in guiding her through
processing the entire experiencein her postpartum time.
This story here highlightsperfectly why you might not want
to just hire some doula orbirthkeeper to attend your birth
(03:17):
, because you've heard somepropaganda about licensed
midwives sabotaging births.
Sure, having a doula orbirthkeeper at your birth might
be fine if everything goesperfectly, but in the case that
it doesn't, midwives, skilled,trained, experienced midwives
have the skills necessary tosupport you in that realm.
(03:38):
Doulas do not, birthkeepers donot.
At this point, I do not havethose skills.
However, I do believe thelicensure laws around midwifery
in Maine are unfair to women whoare going to have a home birth,
no matter what anybody elsetells them.
These are women who maybe havetwins, a breech baby or have had
(04:00):
more than one cesarean, just toname a few.
And it's also unfair to thehighly skilled midwives in our
state who are more thanqualified and feel comfortable
to support these women.
Like, if the law changed, notevery midwife would have to take
on twin pregnancies or breechbirths if they didn't feel
comfortable with that.
But for those that do, what theheck?
(04:22):
Let these women have skilledmidwives at their births if
that's what they want.
Women should not be basicallybacked into a corner to either
free birth or be treated likecrap in the hospital system, or
hire a doula for some falsesense of security, when the
reality is that doula orbirthkeeper cannot do much to
support you if things do not goperfectly.
(04:42):
Yeah, so without further ado,let's get into Hannah's story.
Hi, hannah, welcome to my MaineBirth.
Hi, to start, would you share alittle bit about you and your
family?
Hannah (04:58):
So my husband and son and I we live in Midcoast Maine,
in Topsom, and we've only beenhere for a few years, but we did
both grow up in Maine and we'vebeen here forever.
And yeah, we went through fiveyears of infertility before we
had our son and so that kind ofyeah just like leads up.
Angela (05:22):
I guess yeah.
So would you share about howthat all sort of started for you
?
When did you start to thinkabout, yeah, having a baby?
Hannah (05:32):
Yeah, we got married in 2019.
And we never we never attemptedto prevent pregnancy.
So I would say like we werejust kind of expecting or
waiting for it to happen.
When it happened, it wasprobably like a year and a half
to two years.
In that we were like it's weirdthat it hasn't happened yet.
(05:53):
So then we like officiallystarted trying, in the sense
that we were like timing thingsand like using ovulation strips
and stuff like that.
So, yeah, that's kind of howthat came to be.
Angela (06:07):
So before you were married, were you using like
birth control to like preventpregnancy or like when did you
stop like shifting like out ofthat and was that right about
when you?
Hannah (06:17):
got married?
That's a good question.
I used the birth control pillfor about nine months as a very
early teen, just because I hadirregular cycles and chronic
pelvic pain and that just didn'tlike work for me.
So I ended up stopping takingthat and I never used any sort
(06:38):
of birth control before that, orbefore or after that actually,
or, yeah, before or after thatactually and I did have a pretty
good idea a few years before Igot married that we would.
I would probably have troubleconceiving, just with all of my
history, my medical history andstuff were you having like
problems with that would makeyou think that if you don't mind
(07:00):
sharing, yeah, no, not at notat all.
I wasn't diagnosed until 2021,but I was dealing with
(07:26):
endometriosis and later we foundmarried.
I didn't like have thoseanswers yet, but that is what
was going on.
Angela (07:36):
So just for like a little bit of the history about
that, like what were your sortof like cycles like when you
were younger and like thingsthat you were noticing like as
you were, just like like thingsthat you were noticing like as
you were just got like workingthrough some of those things,
discovering it all yeah, I hadvery irregular cycles and the
irregularity of them wasn't evenconsistent.
Hannah (07:56):
So I would sometimes skip cycles up to like 90 days,
um, or I would have like twobleeds within a month and I had
chronic pelvic pain since I was13.
So I dealt with, I would say,mostly pain.
I had a lot of ovarian cysts aswell, so those would like come
(08:16):
and go, they would rupture, soit was kind of all over the
place and I was just like neverknowing what was going to happen
and I didn't get too much carefor that.
As an early teen I had.
I just had a really badexperience with the OB that I
saw.
When I told her I was going tostop taking the birth control
(08:40):
pill, she dropped me as apatient and wouldn't see me
anymore.
So so that was deeply upsettingand I was like 15, I think maybe
at the time, maybe even younger.
So basically I kind of thoughtthat was it.
I wasn't, I wasn't under theimpression that I could like
really like get a differentdoctor if I wanted, or like
(09:01):
pursue this, because I was likethe pill is the only the only
option and I it wasn't workingfor me.
So I kind of I never gottreatment.
So from like 2014 to 2021, Ididn't have any appointments or
treatments.
Angela (09:20):
Wow, oh my gosh.
Yeah, that's tough.
How like, yeah, one badexperience, yeah, it can really
lead you to not pursue care thatyou might need.
You know, yeah, yeah.
So you're two years into yourmarriage and you're wondering
why you know you're not gettingpregnant.
What were sort of the nextthings that kind of unfolded as
you started to get some of thosediagnoses?
Hannah (09:43):
Yeah.
So I was seen mainly for thepain but also because we'd been
trying for about two years atthe time.
So I saw an OB in Portland atMercy Hospital and she suggested
a diagnostic laparoscopicsurgery and that's where we
(10:06):
found the endo.
She was trying to get to theroot cause of our infertility,
which technically I would say wedidn't really.
She still diagnosed me withunexplained infertility, because
doctors don't really know howendo contributes to infertility
unless there's like a clearblockage or something within
(10:28):
your tubes or something likethat.
So she diagnosed me with endoand as well as unexplained
infertility, and she.
Our next step was ovulationmedication.
She was going to push ovulationand at the time I just didn't
want to pursue that because Iwas ovulating on my own.
(10:51):
It was just kind of irregular.
So we never did pursue any sortof fertility treatments.
We did end up getting pregnantnaturally.
But yeah, I wasn't really atpeace with that at the time and
I didn't want to like force mybody to do something that it was
already doing.
So we just kind of like afterthe surgery we're like let's
(11:13):
just try for a few months andsee if maybe that that helps so
were you doing other things likewith your health or like how
was your diet?
Angela (11:24):
were you kind of like focusing on any like other
things outside of, just like youknow, the appointment?
Hannah (11:30):
Yeah, I would say I probably the only thing I did
was focus on like diet andexercise.
I tried to do like ananti-inflammatory style diet
which can help, I guess, withendo because it's an
inflammatory disease.
So I would say, probably forlike those few years, that was
(11:57):
probably the only other thingthat I educated about the
disease and also aboutinfertility, because I really
didn't know anybody that hadgone through that, at least like
in my super close circle.
So there wasn't much that I waslike trying to do myself at the
time, like maybe I would now.
(12:18):
So, yeah, it wasn't honestlymuch.
We were just kind of like I wasvery naive, thinking that like
you just have sex and you getpregnant, so so we were like
expecting it to happen at anytime.
Angela (12:33):
Really, yeah, so how was that like emotionally for you
and your husband?
Hannah (12:40):
yeah, it was.
It was rough, I would say, forthe first two to three years.
Like I said, said we were likeany day, now it's going to
happen.
So I feel like we had either wewere just naive or we had a lot
of hope in thinking that itwould just happen.
But the further along it got,it was definitely more emotional
(13:01):
for me and I was like, ok, thisis really bad.
And then as the diseaseprogressed it became more
painful and I've always had hadum pain with sex.
So like even just theattempting to try to get
pregnant was like an emotionalrollercoaster because it just
wasn't an easy time.
(13:23):
So that that was really bad forme emotionally.
And then my husband was more, Iwould say more of like my rock.
I wish that I had supported himmore through it because I know
it can take a toll on thehusbands as well, and I think he
(13:43):
was.
He tried just putting on abrave face most of the time.
It wasn't until we met our bestfriends now who also went
through infertility, where hereally had someone to connect
with and kind of like let thatout.
So we were just shy of fiveyears deep into trying, when I
(14:07):
was having an extremely bad endoflare.
It had continued for aboutthree weeks, which was very long
for me, and I was in a lot ofpain.
And it got to the point where Ithought maybe I had an ectopic
pregnancy, because I was havinga lot of pain on one side and it
wasn't going away.
(14:27):
So one day I just tested,because with ectopic I read that
you'd still get, um, you'dstill get a positive.
And so I was like kind of forthe heck of it, I wasn't even
expecting like that it would be,but I was like, whatever, I
(14:47):
should just kind of rule thisout.
And so I was just home alone andI tested and I think I I just
like left it in the bathroom.
I kind of almost like just setit and forget it.
And then I went back and it wasextremely positive, very bright
, like no, no questions about it, and I just like broke down, I
(15:12):
like fell on the floor and I wasjust bawling my eyes out and
all I could say was thank you,jesus, like over and over.
And it was so unexpected, overand over.
And it was so unexpected, whichis weird to say, because when
you're trying and trying like,you would expect it to happen,
(15:32):
but we had.
We had gotten to the pointwhere we had stopped all
ovulation testing, like weweren't trying, in the sense
that we were letting it reallylike rule our lives, and so it
came as a shock.
In that way, had you?
Angela (15:49):
gotten a positive pregnancy?
No, you're good Any pointthroughout the four or five
years that you were trying.
Hannah (15:56):
Yeah, I never got a positive pregnancy test.
I did have a very earlymiscarriage and I never even got
to test for that.
I didn't realize or even thinkabout testing until I
miscarriage and I never even gotto test for that.
I didn't realize or even thinkabout testing until until I
miscarried.
Um, and it was.
Yeah, it was extremely early.
I don't even know if I had likemissed a cycle yet and it was
(16:17):
probably.
I think that was like a yearand a half before our first
positive test.
But honestly, like seeing thepositive test, like I was, I was
emotional, I was like happy,but not because I in my mind I
was still thinking this isprobably like an ectopic or I
(16:39):
might be miscarrying because ofthe pain that I'm having.
So I called my mom and I waslike, can you bring me to the
hospital?
And unfortunately we didn't getlike this amazing, like
surprise and like all these cutevideos or anything.
I pretty much told all of myclose people over the phone
(17:00):
because I was just in shock.
But so she, yeah, she took meto the hospital and then my
husband met me there and thehard part was we left not
knowing whether it was a topicor if I was miscarrying because
it was so early.
So I tested two weeks to the dayafter conception.
(17:23):
So I'm honestly surprised wegot a positive test at all.
But so it was so, so early.
They couldn't see anything onultrasound and he and so the
doctor was like, well, becauseof the amount of pain you're in,
you could be miscarrying couldbe a topic.
So we had to wait five moreweeks for our first, well, our
(17:49):
next ultrasound and that waslike the worst time of my life.
Angela (17:55):
Yeah, oh, wow.
So how was it when you finallygot to that next ultrasound,
then appointment.
Hannah (18:01):
It was a relief, like seeing something and seeing the
heartbeat and all that, but therelief is so short lived.
I feel like after infertilityor loss, because in the moment
it's like you know, like we madeit to here.
But it was a lot of anxietyfollowing that, like every time
(18:24):
I went pee I was looking forblood and it was definitely.
I wish I could have been morehappy during the like first two
trimesters, but it was hard.
Angela (18:37):
How was the rest of your pregnancy?
How were you like physicallyfeeling, aside from, like, the
anxiety?
How did things go for you?
Hannah (18:45):
Yeah, I would say that my pregnancy was like amazing.
I loved every minute ofpregnancy.
I had pretty standard morningsickness from like six to 12
weeks.
I did get symphysis pubisaround like 11 weeks which
(19:05):
caused some discomfort and pain.
I went to physical therapy fora while and that helped, but he
was a big boy, so I think thatmight have contributed, but
other than that it was.
It was amazing Like I I kind ofknew like it was going to be my
(19:28):
only pregnancy.
Right before we conceived I hadactually been talking with a
doctor about getting ahysterectomy because of my
disease had progressed so bad,but so I wasn't planning on
having any future pregnancies.
So like I really just cherishedit so much and I would like cry
every day because it was goingby so fast and I just took like
(19:53):
a million pictures.
Angela (19:55):
Oh my gosh, yes, take all the pictures like every day.
Yeah, good, yeah, oh, wow.
So how was your like sort ofanxiety about all of the things
as the pregnancy progressed andyou started to like feel baby
move?
Hannah (20:11):
Yeah, I would say probably around the time I
started to feel him move.
So like 18, 20 weeks to on, I Ifelt a lot better.
I was kind of like this is itlike it's happening?
And yeah, so it wasn't as bad.
It was a little stressful acouple of times if I like didn't
(20:36):
feel him move for a period oftime, but I was pretty good at
waiting.
I was also really stressed togo into the hospital and like
hear something bad.
So I was like I'll just wait,like I won't go in.
I went in one time for fetalmonitoring, I think after he had
(20:57):
moved for a while, buteverything looked great and it
was very reassuring.
So awesome.
Angela (21:05):
I think that was actually like one of the
questions I kind of skipped atthe beginning.
So, like what were yourthoughts in choosing your care?
Like where did you like decideon for that, for what you wanted
for your birth?
Hannah (21:15):
Yeah, I have grown up around home birth, like my mom
had four home births and all mysisters were doing home births,
and so that was like in my mindI always knew that that was what
I wanted.
But the pregnancy came as likesuch a shock and everything
happened so fast that when weleft the hospital, not knowing
(21:36):
at that, you know, at that firstlike two week or four week mark
, we like we didn't have answers.
So we were planning to go backto get our first ultrasound and
they just like set up care withthe.
They're like call the OBdepartment to set up your
ultrasound.
So I did, and so like,essentially I had established
(21:57):
care with them and I was like,so we just kind of like went,
started going to theseappointments and in my mind I
wasn't like, oh, I'm having ahospital birth.
But we weren't really thinkingthat far ahead.
We were just I was being reallysilly, I guess.
But when it came down to it,the hospital asked if I wanted
(22:18):
to see the OBs or the midwivesthat they have there, and I was
like, let's see the midwives.
But I ended up transferring mycare at 33 weeks pregnant to a
home birth midwife in my areabecause I was not feeling those
(22:39):
appointments.
We had what they call centeringclass, so our prenatal
appointments were in a group ofpeople, like we all had our
prenatal appointments together,and this was at Midcoast
Hospital in Brunswick and therewas a lot of things that I
(23:00):
didn't like about it.
The midwife that I saw, like Iloved her, but the chance also
of getting her, of her beinglike on call, was low.
There were like six midwives so, and then during the
appointments a nurse from thehospital, um, like has to sit in
(23:21):
and like she kind of ran it andshe was.
She was deeply upset by some ofour choices and she then
started like calling us out ingroup and oh no, it was, it was
upsetting.
So I like I want to leave.
What?
Angela (23:42):
kind of thing was she calling you out for?
That's crazy.
Hannah (23:55):
Yeah, so I was not getting any of the recommended
pregnancy shots and so duringlike when we would see the
midwife for like ourmeasurements and our belly
checks, we would go off in aroom with her it wasn't that
part, wasn't in group and thenthey would like give you your
vaccine during that time.
But when she found out like Iwasn't getting any, she just
started bringing out thevaccines in group and just like
(24:20):
giving them to people in frontof everybody except for me.
So like everybody then knewlike what we were denying or
accepting for care, and mymidwife was even like she's,
she'll be okay, like this isyour choice.
But she was not okay.
Um, but I did find out when Iwas postpartum.
(24:42):
I went back for an appointmentand she had been like removed, I
guess because no one reallycared for her.
Angela (24:52):
I can't imagine why.
Yeah, that is ridiculous.
Wow, so do you care to sharewho you shifted to at that point
in your pregnancy?
Hannah (25:04):
Yeah, so I shifted to the care of Dr Sarah Ackerley.
She's a natural doctor and hasa birth center in Topsom.
I loved her.
And then my assistant midwifewas Morgie I don't unfortunately
don't even know her last name.
I never met her until my birth,but she was amazing, so Awesome
(25:29):
.
Angela (25:29):
So how were appointments once you shifted into, like
home birth?
Were you planning a home birthor a birth center birth with her
?
A home birth, home birth yeah,how was your appointments
looking?
Hannah (25:42):
Yeah, I loved the appointments because I went from
like seeing the midwife at thehospital for like five minutes
at a time to seeing Sarah forover an hour at our appointments
and really getting into things.
So by the time I transferred toher at 33 weeks, I had only
gained two pounds in mypregnancy and so she really like
(26:07):
focused on like diet and what Iwas eating and like up to my
protein and was giving mesupplements.
Like it was honestly a bitoverwhelming just because I had
transferred to her so late intomy care so we were trying to fit
it into like a six week time.
But she was amazing and myhusband loved her and he was
(26:31):
very nervous about the homebirth and I think he just kind
of blamed that on infertilitylike which is fine, but he was
really like well, we've got ourbaby now, like we have to do
everything we can, and he hejust really wasn't as
comfortable or educated abouthome birth as as I felt.
(26:52):
But our midwife actually reallywas amazing with him and gave
him a lot of information and puthim at ease.
Like her birth center is almostright across the street from
the ambulance bay, like the firestation.
So she was like you know we'revery close if something went
wrong, but she was like we onlyhave a 2% transfer rate, like
(27:17):
she.
She like really took the timeto talk to him and myself, which
was nice.
Angela (27:25):
Yeah, that can really help because the whole attitude
and like energy of everyone likegoing into birth, really makes
a difference on the outcome.
So to have a midwife that'sgoing to take that extra time to
really explain everything andlike make your husband
comfortable is just so special.
Hannah (27:42):
Yeah.
Angela (27:44):
So what were those like final weeks and then days
looking like leading up to whenyour birth started?
Hannah (27:50):
Yeah, I was enormous, as I'm sure most people feel, and
I was really just I was kind ofan emotional wreck because I was
like it's gonna be over, like Ifelt like I always wanted to
experience pregnancy, sometimeseven more than like I wanted to
(28:14):
have a baby.
That kind of sounded weird, butI was like not knowing if I
ever would.
I just like really enjoyed itand and I felt I just felt like
it was slipping away.
But, that being said, I wasn'tlike upset.
I w I was very happy but yeah,it was.
It was great.
I um I remember trying to justlike every night, get to bed
(28:39):
early in case it was the night.
Um, I thought, for no like realreason, I was like, oh, maybe
I'll go early.
It was probably just me likehoping to not to not like go
late, honestly, but um, I didn'tgo early.
So I was like really preparinglike weeks a couple of weeks in
(29:01):
advance, like getting to bedearly and getting enough sleep
and having the house ready, um.
But I did get a little let downa little bit once I hit my due
date, which I don't really Idon't really go by due date, so
I wasn't putting too muchpressure on that itself.
(29:23):
But I was like, okay.
Now I knew I was like, okay,he's not coming early, obviously
.
So then I just kind of had tohunker down and wait.
And everyone was like, whenwere you doing?
When are you doing?
Angela (29:36):
I was like like five days ago like, oh boy, so how
long did that go on, for I?
Hannah (29:46):
had him at 41 weeks.
So, yeah, it was a week pastour due date and I was as big as
a house.
I, yeah I was.
People insisted I was havingtwins or triplets and I was like
, I promise you I'm not.
But he like, my first pregnancysymptom was hunger.
(30:07):
Like I woke up with extremehunger almost immediately and I
lost 20 pounds during pregnancy.
He, he just like, tookeverything I could give him,
took everything I could give him.
He was huge.
So I just like ate, ate us outof house and home and waited,
(30:28):
waited an extra week.
Angela (30:30):
Oh my goodness.
So how did things finally getstarted with your labor?
Hannah (30:36):
Yeah, so at exactly 41 weeks I had gone to bed, of
course, late.
I went to bed at like 1130 thatnight.
I woke up to pee at 330.
I had woken up with acontraction but I hadn't really
realized that yet.
I thought I just had to pee andI never had a single
(30:56):
contraction during my pregnancyuntil I was in labor.
So I had nothing to really goby in terms of that, like I
didn't.
I'd never had Braxton Hicks oranything.
So I went pee and as soon as Ilaid back down I had another
contraction and I was like, oh,that's probably why I woke up,
(31:21):
and of course I was so excited.
So, instead of like resting, Igot up immediately and woke up
my mom, because she was stayingwith us at the time, because I
wanted her at my birth, and Iwas like it's time it's
happening and so, yeah, I didn'trest, but but they it did, it
(31:42):
did seem to like startprogressing, though like pretty
quickly, which was nice.
I I don't know if I could havereally rested too much through
them, not because they were likereally painful, but just
because I was like it's, this isdefinitely it like.
And at 41 weeks and havingnever had contractions, I was
like it's, this is definitely itLike.
And at 41 weeks and havingnever had contractions, I was
(32:02):
like this can't be fake, right?
So, and then my doula my sisterMegan, was my doula and so she
was also staying in the area,cause she lived like two hours
away.
Wait, was this like?
Angela (32:17):
it was just shared too.
Hannah (32:17):
Yes, who was just shared too.
Yes, oh, my god, yeah she.
So I called her and she came.
I think she came over a couplehours later.
But I waited a few hours towake up my husband because he
was gonna have to call out ofwork and I was like let's just
make sure, let's make sure that,like my uterus isn't like
(32:40):
tearing me or something.
But yeah, probably around 530.
I woke him up, we called themidwife at some point after that
maybe close to six or 630.
And she was like she listenedto a contraction, was like okay,
like maybe call me in like anhour or two or something.
And I went and laid in our tubfor a while.
(33:02):
We hadn't set up the birth poolyet, so I was like I need some
hot water.
So I laid in our tub and ateight yeah, it was around eight
that I, my body kind of like,started to have like a pushing
reflex a couple times in the tub.
So I was like wow, this isreally fast, Like.
(33:25):
But I was like there's no way,there's.
No, I'm ready to push.
But we did call my midwifeagain and was like you know,
this is what I felt.
So she came and then theassistant midwife came and they
were just doing their thing.
They were like setting up anddoing all that.
I at some point started to havereally intense back labor.
(33:50):
I would say probably that's theonly thing during the labor and
delivery that happened wasreally, I would say, painful.
My poor doula like she wasamazing.
She followed me around withevery contraction and did hip
(34:11):
squeezes for like two hours.
Um, we were like on the stairsand that was the one point in my
labor that I got a littleirritable and snappy.
I was like get over herebecause it was bad.
But I knew, like I did know,that that wouldn't last.
(34:32):
I mean potentially most likelywouldn't last the rest of the
labor.
I figured he was probably justturning or moving down and so I
was like we can get through thisand we set up.
We set up the pool.
Probably not long after they gotthere, the midwives got there
(34:55):
and I got pretty comfy in thepool for a while, for a few
hours, and I wouldn't say likeit stalled anything.
But I wasn't progressing toomuch for those few hours and my
midwives were like let's, let'swalk around, let's do the stairs
, you know.
Um, they really wanted me tosit on the toilet.
(35:17):
But that was, um, I hated thetoilet, I it.
It was obviously way moreintense.
So I was like no, no, like Idon't need the toilet, but I did
.
I did a few times to sit on thetoilet and, all in all, like I
think I think my laborprogressed very well, Um, even
(35:40):
with those few hours in the tubwhere it was kind of slow.
Um, it was only 13 hours intotal, um, which is a win in my
book for a first pregnancy, afirst labor and delivery.
So, but yeah, it was around,I'd say let's like 2 PM.
I was back in the pool, probablypretty close or in transition
(36:04):
by then, and I was so exhaustedI was falling asleep between
contractions and they were likespoon feeding me honey and
smoothie to try and like get alittle bit of a energy boost,
which I'm glad.
I'm glad they did.
(36:24):
I wasn't really in the in theheadspace to to stay hydrated or
like ask for a bite to eat, so.
So that was nice and so, yeah,it was probably around 2 PM.
I was in.
That was when I was intransition because I pushed for
about two hours.
So I did get out of the poolbecause I asked Sarah to check
(36:50):
me because I was feeling alittle like pushy.
I was feeling ready to push, somy water still had not broken
and she was like asked if Iwanted her to break them and she
, because I was like at ninecentimeters, I think was like
asked if I wanted her to breakthem and she, cause I was like
at nine centimeters, I think,was like a lip.
So she was like if we breakyour waters for you, then you
(37:14):
might start feeling morepressure, and you, and so I
asked her to break my waters andshe did, and then we got back.
We got back into the pool and Iwas immediately pushing at that
point and, uh, as soon as I feltthe burning, I was like this
feels so good and everyonelaughed at me.
(37:36):
But I was just like now, alertin the mode like he's coming,
alert in the mode like he'scoming, and I yeah, I mean I
pushed for about two hours, butto me it felt very fast.
It felt like I pushed for like20 minutes.
Um, which is good, I guess,looking back on it.
But so he I had pushed him outto his ears, his entire head
(38:00):
didn't come out.
I was looking, I had a mirrordown.
I was looking and I had amirror down.
I was looking and I thought hiswhole head had come out.
But my midwives knew that he'donly come out to his ears.
But I didn't then get anothercontraction for maybe close to
10 minutes.
We tried nipple stimulation,pretty much everything we could.
And so I was like can I beardown a little even without a
(38:24):
contraction?
And they're like, yeah, like ifyou want to.
So I started to bear down andthen I did end up getting a
contraction, but there was noprogress in birthing the rest of
his head.
So the assistant midwife Morgiewas like, okay, we're going to.
It was the next contraction.
If he doesn't come out, you'regoing to have to roll your hands
(38:45):
and knees.
So I my next contraction stillno progress, um, with delivering
his the rest of his head.
So I quickly rolled to my handsand knees, got a really intense
contraction in that positionand I didn't know at the time,
but she was, she had gone up tolike help deliver him because we
(39:08):
had some shoulder dystocia andI didn't know like it was so
smooth and like peaceful.
They weren't like giving meanxiety about what could have
been going on, and so that waslike amazing.
I just thought I was having areally intense contraction, Um,
and the contraction she helpedlike deliver him essentially.
(39:31):
She turned him and then he wasdelivered with that contraction
and she, um, I just rolled overand she gave him to me and, um,
they did do a little suction.
He was a little dusky, um, atbirth and they suctioned him for
a little bit but then he pinkedright up and, um, he latched
(39:52):
almost right away and we sat inthe pool for about 20 minutes
with him, um, latching andbreastfeeding and my, my, yeah,
I wasn't getting any likecontractions or feeling like my
placenta was going to bedelivered.
So I wanted to move to the bedwith him and upon standing, I
(40:15):
was like I almost passed out.
So I told them I was like Ithink I might pass out and so
they were like quick, quick, siton the ground and I I sat for a
minute and then they walked meto the bed and pretty, pretty
soon after, I deliver myplacenta and then I started
having a hemorrhage and so thatkind of like was that was a
(40:40):
whirlwind.
Um't honestly remember like toomuch of like the details other
than like my husband was outhere doing skin to skin with our
son, and then the midwives werelike weighing the cloths and
the chucks pads and I she endedup giving me I think two, maybe
(41:04):
three bags of fluids.
I got a couple shots of pitocinto help get the rest of the
like the blood and the clots outand like.
After it was all, she gave mesome herbs and stuff too.
Like I don't even remember allthat she gave me, but after that
was over I had lost a littleover five cups of blood.
(41:27):
But with the, with the fluids,I was feeling pretty good, Like
I definitely I got really paleand stuff like that, but overall
I wasn't like nervous.
They didn't seem nervous, theywere just like calmly doing
their thing.
She never mentioned a transfer,so I was like I know that I'm
(41:49):
fine and I am just so gratefulthat I didn't like have to get
dressed and like transfer to thehospital because she was so
great because she was so great.
Angela (42:07):
Yeah, wow, that is, that's incredible, and it is
nice to really trust yourmidwives and you know, and to
trust their skills and to trustthat they know when to say you
know, we need to go in for somemore support for this, you know.
Hannah (42:16):
I think it was about seven hours after the delivery
that she made that call for ourson.
Actually because he startedaspirating and we were giving
him oxygen for it at home, butshe was like he'll need oxygen
for a while.
He had ingested like a ton ofmeconium.
(42:37):
My birth pool was full of itwhen I delivered him.
There was a lot so.
So we did transfer for him andwe had a six day NICU stay for
oxygen, and that was extremelyrough for me.
Angela (42:54):
Yeah, oh, my goodness, just after your beautiful home
birth.
It's hard, but it's likenecessary, hard right.
Like, yeah, do you want to walkme through, like the highlights
that you want to share?
Hannah (43:07):
about it.
Yeah, so we, we went byambulance because we actually
hadn't like got or installed hiscar seat yet, we hadn't even
like thought about that.
So we did get transported byambulance and we got there and
they the doctors, were great.
Like, when we got there theywere like really on top of it
(43:30):
and just like got right on him.
But it was hard because, like Iknew what we were going in for
we're going in for oxygen andthey were like, well, now, like
like hospital protocol, you haveto have two rounds of
antibiotics until we like whilewe wait to make sure he doesn't
have an infection.
(43:51):
And like they, they were likeforcing a binky on him, even
though he didn't want it.
They kept dipping it in sugarwater and like forcing him to
take it and he just like keptspinning it out and I I had just
got stitched up too at home,like I had quite a few stitches
(44:15):
and but like was just liketrying to heal during those days
and also like trying toadvocate.
So we caved to like the vitamink shot, because the doctor
every morning on rounds was likehe needs this, like he could
bleed out and die, like youcan't circumcise him, you know
(44:37):
if he doesn't have this.
And we were like just we spentlike the whole six days we only
got nine hours of sleep totaland I was like in a lot of pain
and so, yeah, I I have regretabout that but I am also glad
(44:59):
that that was all that we kindof let them do.
But it was really sad.
Like he had they couldn't finda good spot for his IV in his
hands or his arms or his feet,so they had to put one in his
head and they I believe yeah, hehad to have a feeding tube.
(45:20):
I say had to.
I don't really know Like thisis coming from, like the
doctor's perspective, I wouldsay, but because of him needing
oxygen, I'm guessing that's whyhe needed the feeding tube for a
few days.
And it was hard because theywere really picky about like me
holding him.
I could only hold him and doskin to skin for 30 minutes once
(45:42):
a day.
They wanted him to stay in thebed.
(46:05):
They wouldn't let me fallasleep with him in like in the
chair.
I would like fall asleep.
This is their safety, likepolicy.
I don't really know how to justignore it.
So that was hard.
And then, by like day four, whenthe feeding tube had come out,
I I knew that he was likestarving, he was not getting
enough food and their policy islike they, they can only have.
Babies can only have up to likeone ML or something.
(46:29):
It's equivalent to like half anounce of of milk or colostrum.
So I, I just like took over andI was not having it and I was
like I am breastfeeding him,like along with what they gave
him, because once the tube cameout, they were giving it to him
(46:50):
in like a syringe and I was likeI'm giving him more.
And they were like, oh, okay,like, yeah, like you can do what
you want.
So he, um, I didn't know howmuch he was getting, obviously
like through the breast, but itwas a lot more.
And by the time we got home, um, which was six, he was six days
(47:14):
old he was eating six ouncesevery two hours.
So I was like, yeah, half anounce was not doing it, he was
starving.
Angela (47:25):
So, yeah, you still know what's best.
You know, even if it's yourfirst time doing it and you have
never been through like thisexperience before, like you have
to trust your intuition, youknow.
Yeah, so you're still onlythree months postpartum, is that
right?
Hannah (47:42):
No, he is two and a half .
Two and a half.
Angela (47:45):
Okay.
So how was your postpartum,after you got home from the
hospital, those first few months, integrating?
Hannah (48:02):
Yeah, it was wonderful, it was so smooth.
I just kind of implemented alot of the things that, like my
mom had done and that I had kindof planned to do.
I really liked having that planand thankfully, my son kind of
just really adapted to that.
Well, he loved sleep and heloved his crib, his crib.
(48:27):
So we did contact naps everyday but he didn't really love so
thankfully, like cause, we didsome sleep training with him and
it just kind of worked out thathe really only liked his crib.
So, yes, like he was a champ atsleeping, breastfeeding was
really wonderful and it wentsmooth.
(48:47):
I didn't breastfeed for as longas I wanted.
I did end up like losing mysupply, but it went so good.
I didn't have I was blessed tonot have any like postpartum
depression.
Like postpartum depression, Ijust kind of soaked it all up
and we we did have friends overa lot, which, um, which I liked.
(49:15):
I know a lot of people I feltkind of abnormal in this but
like a lot of people you know,want some time.
We we just kind of carried onas normal I guess, and we just
kind of wanted everyone to seehim and love on him.
So I liked that and yeah,honestly I don't think it could
have gone any better.
Angela (49:35):
Oh, that's good.
I'm so glad to hear that afterthe, you know little bumps in
the road.
So how were you still had carewith your midwife, I'm assuming
postpartum also, how was thatthe support from her, seeing her
like after all of that and likedebriefing and, yeah, just
having her care for thepostpartum period?
Hannah (49:56):
Yeah, I loved that, like I felt like a VIP, like a VIP
patient with her, as I'm sureall her patients do, and it was
nice to have somebody come intoyour home and like check you and
(50:16):
bring you supplements or sits,bath stuff, and she was just a
delight and I could like tellher anything and ask her
questions.
I absolutely loved it and she'sstill my doctor and my son's
(50:37):
pediatrician and so we're, so wewere so blessed by her care.
Angela (50:44):
Oh, that's amazing.
It really is like next levelcare, like you said, like VIP
care.
Hannah (50:49):
I love that, yeah, and yeah, was it helpful like having
her there to like help youdebrief and like process like
better, like everything that hadkind of happened in that like
whirlwind of like the shortpostpartum, like time yeah, she
was actually like the key personfor that um, I remember at some
(51:11):
of my later like my farther outpostpartum appointments, she
ended up bringing that up andwas like so have you processed
like the whole hospital stay andthe trauma?
And I was like what trauma?
But then as I like, as I wastalking, I was like spilling all
of my frustrations and I waslike oh, yeah, um, and she like
(51:38):
recommended um a therapist inthe office if I needed and
really talked through it with meand she actually like shared
some, some of the stuff that hadhappened that I hadn't noticed
in my postpartum state.
She was like, yeah, did you seethey did this?
And I was like, no, I did not.
So she was really great withthat and I I still will think
(52:06):
about it and get like reallyupset at times.
Like as soon as we had left theNICU we drove my husband like
drove like a mile down the roadand we stopped at a gas station
and we both just burst intotears because we were so drained
and like so sad and just tiredand so processing all that like
(52:32):
with her and the fact that shelike really cared enough to help
us with that was really nice.
Angela (52:42):
Yeah, that it is.
It's a lot for sure To havethat support is is instrumental.
So, as a final question, if youwere to give advice to someone
who is expecting, or even newparents, what's one of the
biggest things you'd want toshare at this point in your
journey?
Hannah (53:01):
Yeah, I would say really like, educate yourself on all
of the avenues.
I would say a lot of people dowhat they know or what is
expected of them or even what'skind of just like mainstream.
But like I really do think thatthere's power in education and
(53:24):
knowledge.
And a lot of people walk awaywith traumatic births and the
statistics of that are likereally sad, whether it's home
birth or hospital birth.
I think that could those couldbe a lot lower those statistics.
Hospital birth I think thatcould those could be a lot lower
(53:45):
those statistics.
And you're not going to findout what works for you and what
you like if you only know onething.
So that would be my, myrecommendation.
I like a huge birth advocatenow and I like doula for friends
and family, so I'm sure peopleget sick of me telling them that
, but that would be my advice.
Angela (54:07):
Yeah, it's really so important to just take the time
to learn all of your options andthink about what feels right
for you, because it's not gonnait's gonna be different for
everybody, you know.
Yeah, for sure, awesome.
Well, thank you so much, hannah, for taking the time to chat
with me today and share yourstory.
Yes, thank you.
Before you go, I just want toremind you I have a ton of
(54:33):
resources for pregnancy andbirth If you're pregnant,
whether you're a first-time momor if this is your fifth baby.
I want you to check out theshow notes, because I have some
free trainings and freedownloads that you can sign up
for, as well as the link toaccess my labor of love, a
comprehensive, self-paced onlinechildbirth education course.
I created this coursespecifically for moms who don't
(54:56):
want to be told what to do,regardless of where you're
birthing or who you're birthingwith, and I'd honestly love to
teach you everything that I knowso that you can prepare for an
autonomous birth experience andprepare to step into your role
as the leader of your birthjourney.
So click to the show notes,check out all of those links and
(55:17):
, if you ever have any questions, feel free to DM me at
mymainbirth over on Instagram.
I loved the appointments because I went from like seeing
the midwife at the hospital forlike five minutes at a time to
seeing Sarah for over an hour atour appointments and really
getting into things.
So by the time I transferred toher at 33 weeks I had only
gained two pounds in mypregnancy.
(00:21):
In my pregnancy so she reallylike focused on like diet and
what I was eating and like up tomy protein and was giving me
supplements.
Like it was honestly a bitoverwhelming just because I had
transferred to her so late intomy care so we were trying to fit
it into like a six week time.
(00:43):
But she was amazing and myhusband loved her and he was
very nervous about the homebirth and I think he just kind
of blamed that on infertility,like which is fine.
But he was really like well,we've got our baby now, like we
have to do everything we can,and he he just really wasn't as
(01:04):
comfortable or educated abouthome birth as as I felt.
But our midwife actually reallywas amazing with him and gave
him a lot of information and puthim at ease, like her her home
birth center is or I mean herbirth center is like almost
right across the street from theambulance bay, like the fire
(01:27):
station.
So she was like you know we'revery close if something went
wrong, but she was like we onlyhave a 2% transfer rate, like
she, she like really took thetime to talk to him and myself,
which was nice.
Angela (01:47):
I'm Angela and I'm a certified birth photographer,
experienced doula, childbirtheducator and your host here on
the my Maine Birth podcast.
This is a space where we sharethe real life stories of
families and their unique birthexperiences in the beautiful
state of Maine, from our state'sbiggest hospitals to birth
center births and home births.
(02:08):
Every birth story deserves tobe heard and celebrated.
Whether you're a soon-to-be mom, a seasoned mother or simply
interested in the world of birth, these episodes are for you.
Welcome back.
You're listening to episode 130of my Main Birth.
Today's birth story guest isHannah, and she is here to share
(02:33):
about her five-year journeywith infertility and then about
her pregnancy and home birth,which involved a true shoulder
dystocia something that youdefinitely want a skilled
midwife present, for which shehad, fortunately, as well as a
transfer to the hospital for herson around seven hours
postpartum for some meconiumaspiration.
(02:55):
Hannah shares about herexperience during the six
subsequent days spent in theNICU, as well as the incredible
and loving support of hermidwife in guiding her through
processing the entire experiencein her postpartum time.
This story here highlightsperfectly why you might not want
to just hire some doula orbirthkeeper to attend your birth
(03:17):
, because you've heard somepropaganda about licensed
midwives sabotaging births.
Sure, having a doula orbirthkeeper at your birth might
be fine if everything goesperfectly, but in the case that
it doesn't, midwives, skilled,trained, experienced midwives
have the skills necessary tosupport you in that realm.
(03:38):
Doulas do not, birthkeepers donot.
At this point, I do not havethose skills.
However, I do believe thelicensure laws around midwifery
in Maine are unfair to women whoare going to have a home birth,
no matter what anybody elsetells them.
These are women who maybe havetwins, a breech baby or have had
(04:00):
more than one cesarean, just toname a few.
And it's also unfair to thehighly skilled midwives in our
state who are more thanqualified and feel comfortable
to support these women.
Like, if the law changed, notevery midwife would have to take
on twin pregnancies or breechbirths if they didn't feel
comfortable with that.
But for those that do, what theheck?
(04:22):
Let these women have skilledmidwives at their births if
that's what they want.
Women should not be basicallybacked into a corner to either
free birth or be treated likecrap in the hospital system, or
hire a doula for some falsesense of security, when the
reality is that doula orbirthkeeper cannot do much to
support you if things do not goperfectly.
(04:42):
Yeah, so without further ado,let's get into Hannah's story.
Hi, hannah, welcome to my MaineBirth.
Hi, to start, would you share alittle bit about you and your
family?
Hannah (04:58):
So my husband and son and I we live in Midcoast Maine,
in Topsom, and we've only beenhere for a few years, but we did
both grow up in Maine and we'vebeen here forever.
And yeah, we went through fiveyears of infertility before we
had our son and so that kind ofyeah just like leads up.
Angela (05:22):
I guess yeah.
So would you share about howthat all sort of started for you
?
When did you start to thinkabout, yeah, having a baby?
Hannah (05:32):
Yeah, we got married in 2019.
And we never we never attemptedto prevent pregnancy.
So I would say like we werejust kind of expecting or
waiting for it to happen.
When it happened, it wasprobably like a year and a half
to two years.
In that we were like it's weirdthat it hasn't happened yet.
(05:53):
So then we like officiallystarted trying, in the sense
that we were like timing thingsand like using ovulation strips
and stuff like that.
So, yeah, that's kind of howthat came to be.
Angela (06:07):
So before you were married, were you using like
birth control to like preventpregnancy or like when did you
stop like shifting like out ofthat and was that right about
when you?
Hannah (06:17):
got married?
That's a good question.
I used the birth control pillfor about nine months as a very
early teen, just because I hadirregular cycles and chronic
pelvic pain and that just didn'tlike work for me.
So I ended up stopping takingthat and I never used any sort
(06:38):
of birth control before that, orbefore or after that actually,
or, yeah, before or after thatactually and I did have a pretty
good idea a few years before Igot married that we would.
I would probably have troubleconceiving, just with all of my
history, my medical history andstuff were you having like
problems with that would makeyou think that if you don't mind
(07:00):
sharing, yeah, no, not at notat all.
I wasn't diagnosed until 2021,but I was dealing with
(07:26):
endometriosis and later we foundmarried.
I didn't like have thoseanswers yet, but that is what
was going on.
Angela (07:36):
So just for like a little bit of the history about
that, like what were your sortof like cycles like when you
were younger and like thingsthat you were noticing like as
you were, just like like thingsthat you were noticing like as
you were just got like workingthrough some of those things,
discovering it all yeah, I hadvery irregular cycles and the
irregularity of them wasn't evenconsistent.
Hannah (07:56):
So I would sometimes skip cycles up to like 90 days,
um, or I would have like twobleeds within a month and I had
chronic pelvic pain since I was13.
So I dealt with, I would say,mostly pain.
I had a lot of ovarian cysts aswell, so those would like come
(08:16):
and go, they would rupture, soit was kind of all over the
place and I was just like neverknowing what was going to happen
and I didn't get too much carefor that.
As an early teen I had.
I just had a really badexperience with the OB that I
saw.
When I told her I was going tostop taking the birth control
(08:40):
pill, she dropped me as apatient and wouldn't see me
anymore.
So so that was deeply upsettingand I was like 15, I think maybe
at the time, maybe even younger.
So basically I kind of thoughtthat was it.
I wasn't, I wasn't under theimpression that I could like
really like get a differentdoctor if I wanted, or like
(09:01):
pursue this, because I was likethe pill is the only the only
option and I it wasn't workingfor me.
So I kind of I never gottreatment.
So from like 2014 to 2021, Ididn't have any appointments or
treatments.
Angela (09:20):
Wow, oh my gosh.
Yeah, that's tough.
How like, yeah, one badexperience, yeah, it can really
lead you to not pursue care thatyou might need.
You know, yeah, yeah.
So you're two years into yourmarriage and you're wondering
why you know you're not gettingpregnant.
What were sort of the nextthings that kind of unfolded as
you started to get some of thosediagnoses?
Hannah (09:43):
Yeah.
So I was seen mainly for thepain but also because we'd been
trying for about two years atthe time.
So I saw an OB in Portland atMercy Hospital and she suggested
a diagnostic laparoscopicsurgery and that's where we
(10:06):
found the endo.
She was trying to get to theroot cause of our infertility,
which technically I would say wedidn't really.
She still diagnosed me withunexplained infertility, because
doctors don't really know howendo contributes to infertility
unless there's like a clearblockage or something within
(10:28):
your tubes or something likethat.
So she diagnosed me with endoand as well as unexplained
infertility, and she.
Our next step was ovulationmedication.
She was going to push ovulationand at the time I just didn't
want to pursue that because Iwas ovulating on my own.
(10:51):
It was just kind of irregular.
So we never did pursue any sortof fertility treatments.
We did end up getting pregnantnaturally.
But yeah, I wasn't really atpeace with that at the time and
I didn't want to like force mybody to do something that it was
already doing.
So we just kind of like afterthe surgery we're like let's
(11:13):
just try for a few months andsee if maybe that that helps so
were you doing other things likewith your health or like how
was your diet?
Angela (11:24):
were you kind of like focusing on any like other
things outside of, just like youknow, the appointment?
Hannah (11:30):
Yeah, I would say I probably the only thing I did
was focus on like diet andexercise.
I tried to do like ananti-inflammatory style diet
which can help, I guess, withendo because it's an
inflammatory disease.
So I would say, probably forlike those few years, that was
(11:57):
probably the only other thingthat I educated about the
disease and also aboutinfertility, because I really
didn't know anybody that hadgone through that, at least like
in my super close circle.
So there wasn't much that I waslike trying to do myself at the
time, like maybe I would now.
(12:18):
So, yeah, it wasn't honestlymuch.
We were just kind of like I wasvery naive, thinking that like
you just have sex and you getpregnant, so so we were like
expecting it to happen at anytime.
Angela (12:33):
Really, yeah, so how was that like emotionally for you
and your husband?
Hannah (12:40):
yeah, it was.
It was rough, I would say, forthe first two to three years.
Like I said, said we were likeany day, now it's going to
happen.
So I feel like we had either wewere just naive or we had a lot
of hope in thinking that itwould just happen.
But the further along it got,it was definitely more emotional
(13:01):
for me and I was like, ok, thisis really bad.
And then as the diseaseprogressed it became more
painful and I've always had hadum pain with sex.
So like even just theattempting to try to get
pregnant was like an emotionalrollercoaster because it just
wasn't an easy time.
(13:23):
So that that was really bad forme emotionally.
And then my husband was more, Iwould say more of like my rock.
I wish that I had supported himmore through it because I know
it can take a toll on thehusbands as well, and I think he
(13:43):
was.
He tried just putting on abrave face most of the time.
It wasn't until we met our bestfriends now who also went
through infertility, where hereally had someone to connect
with and kind of like let thatout.
So we were just shy of fiveyears deep into trying, when I
(14:07):
was having an extremely bad endoflare.
It had continued for aboutthree weeks, which was very long
for me, and I was in a lot ofpain.
And it got to the point where Ithought maybe I had an ectopic
pregnancy, because I was havinga lot of pain on one side and it
wasn't going away.
(14:27):
So one day I just tested,because with ectopic I read that
you'd still get, um, you'dstill get a positive.
And so I was like kind of forthe heck of it, I wasn't even
expecting like that it would be,but I was like, whatever, I
(14:47):
should just kind of rule thisout.
And so I was just home alone andI tested and I think I I just
like left it in the bathroom.
I kind of almost like just setit and forget it.
And then I went back and it wasextremely positive, very bright
, like no, no questions about it, and I just like broke down, I
(15:12):
like fell on the floor and I wasjust bawling my eyes out and
all I could say was thank you,jesus, like over and over.
And it was so unexpected, overand over.
And it was so unexpected, whichis weird to say, because when
you're trying and trying like,you would expect it to happen,
(15:32):
but we had.
We had gotten to the pointwhere we had stopped all
ovulation testing, like weweren't trying, in the sense
that we were letting it reallylike rule our lives, and so it
came as a shock.
In that way, had you?
Angela (15:49):
gotten a positive pregnancy?
No, you're good Any pointthroughout the four or five
years that you were trying.
Hannah (15:56):
Yeah, I never got a positive pregnancy test.
I did have a very earlymiscarriage and I never even got
to test for that.
I didn't realize or even thinkabout testing until I
miscarriage and I never even gotto test for that.
I didn't realize or even thinkabout testing until until I
miscarried.
Um, and it was.
Yeah, it was extremely early.
I don't even know if I had likemissed a cycle yet and it was
(16:17):
probably.
I think that was like a yearand a half before our first
positive test.
But honestly, like seeing thepositive test, like I was, I was
emotional, I was like happy,but not because I in my mind I
was still thinking this isprobably like an ectopic or I
(16:39):
might be miscarrying because ofthe pain that I'm having.
So I called my mom and I waslike, can you bring me to the
hospital?
And unfortunately we didn't getlike this amazing, like
surprise and like all these cutevideos or anything.
I pretty much told all of myclose people over the phone
(17:00):
because I was just in shock.
But so she, yeah, she took meto the hospital and then my
husband met me there and thehard part was we left not
knowing whether it was a topicor if I was miscarrying because
it was so early.
So I tested two weeks to the dayafter conception.
(17:23):
So I'm honestly surprised wegot a positive test at all.
But so it was so, so early.
They couldn't see anything onultrasound and he and so the
doctor was like, well, becauseof the amount of pain you're in,
you could be miscarrying couldbe a topic.
So we had to wait five moreweeks for our first, well, our
(17:49):
next ultrasound and that waslike the worst time of my life.
Angela (17:55):
Yeah, oh, wow.
So how was it when you finallygot to that next ultrasound,
then appointment.
Hannah (18:01):
It was a relief, like seeing something and seeing the
heartbeat and all that, but therelief is so short lived.
I feel like after infertilityor loss, because in the moment
it's like you know, like we madeit to here.
But it was a lot of anxietyfollowing that, like every time
(18:24):
I went pee I was looking forblood and it was definitely.
I wish I could have been morehappy during the like first two
trimesters, but it was hard.
Angela (18:37):
How was the rest of your pregnancy?
How were you like physicallyfeeling, aside from, like, the
anxiety?
How did things go for you?
Hannah (18:45):
Yeah, I would say that my pregnancy was like amazing.
I loved every minute ofpregnancy.
I had pretty standard morningsickness from like six to 12
weeks.
I did get symphysis pubisaround like 11 weeks which
(19:05):
caused some discomfort and pain.
I went to physical therapy fora while and that helped, but he
was a big boy, so I think thatmight have contributed, but
other than that it was.
It was amazing Like I I kind ofknew like it was going to be my
(19:28):
only pregnancy.
Right before we conceived I hadactually been talking with a
doctor about getting ahysterectomy because of my
disease had progressed so bad,but so I wasn't planning on
having any future pregnancies.
So like I really just cherishedit so much and I would like cry
every day because it was goingby so fast and I just took like
(19:53):
a million pictures.
Angela (19:55):
Oh my gosh, yes, take all the pictures like every day.
Yeah, good, yeah, oh, wow.
So how was your like sort ofanxiety about all of the things
as the pregnancy progressed andyou started to like feel baby
move?
Hannah (20:11):
Yeah, I would say probably around the time I
started to feel him move.
So like 18, 20 weeks to on, I Ifelt a lot better.
I was kind of like this is itlike it's happening?
And yeah, so it wasn't as bad.
It was a little stressful acouple of times if I like didn't
(20:36):
feel him move for a period oftime, but I was pretty good at
waiting.
I was also really stressed togo into the hospital and like
hear something bad.
So I was like I'll just wait,like I won't go in.
I went in one time for fetalmonitoring, I think after he had
(20:57):
moved for a while, buteverything looked great and it
was very reassuring.
So awesome.
Angela (21:05):
I think that was actually like one of the
questions I kind of skipped atthe beginning.
So, like what were yourthoughts in choosing your care?
Like where did you like decideon for that, for what you wanted
for your birth?
Hannah (21:15):
Yeah, I have grown up around home birth, like my mom
had four home births and all mysisters were doing home births,
and so that was like in my mindI always knew that that was what
I wanted.
But the pregnancy came as likesuch a shock and everything
happened so fast that when weleft the hospital, not knowing
(21:36):
at that, you know, at that firstlike two week or four week mark
, we like we didn't have answers.
So we were planning to go backto get our first ultrasound and
they just like set up care withthe.
They're like call the OBdepartment to set up your
ultrasound.
So I did, and so like,essentially I had established
(21:57):
care with them and I was like,so we just kind of like went,
started going to theseappointments and in my mind I
wasn't like, oh, I'm having ahospital birth.
But we weren't really thinkingthat far ahead.
We were just I was being reallysilly, I guess.
But when it came down to it,the hospital asked if I wanted
(22:18):
to see the OBs or the midwivesthat they have there, and I was
like, let's see the midwives.
But I ended up transferring mycare at 33 weeks pregnant to a
home birth midwife in my areabecause I was not feeling those
(22:39):
appointments.
We had what they call centeringclass, so our prenatal
appointments were in a group ofpeople, like we all had our
prenatal appointments together,and this was at Midcoast
Hospital in Brunswick and therewas a lot of things that I
(23:00):
didn't like about it.
The midwife that I saw, like Iloved her, but the chance also
of getting her, of her beinglike on call, was low.
There were like six midwives so, and then during the
appointments a nurse from thehospital, um, like has to sit in
(23:21):
and like she kind of ran it andshe was.
She was deeply upset by some ofour choices and she then
started like calling us out ingroup and oh no, it was, it was
upsetting.
So I like I want to leave.
What?
Angela (23:42):
kind of thing was she calling you out for?
That's crazy.
Hannah (23:55):
Yeah, so I was not getting any of the recommended
pregnancy shots and so duringlike when we would see the
midwife for like ourmeasurements and our belly
checks, we would go off in aroom with her it wasn't that
part, wasn't in group and thenthey would like give you your
vaccine during that time.
But when she found out like Iwasn't getting any, she just
started bringing out thevaccines in group and just like
(24:20):
giving them to people in frontof everybody except for me.
So like everybody then knewlike what we were denying or
accepting for care, and mymidwife was even like she's,
she'll be okay, like this isyour choice.
But she was not okay.
Um, but I did find out when Iwas postpartum.
(24:42):
I went back for an appointmentand she had been like removed, I
guess because no one reallycared for her.
Angela (24:52):
I can't imagine why.
Yeah, that is ridiculous.
Wow, so do you care to sharewho you shifted to at that point
in your pregnancy?
Hannah (25:04):
Yeah, so I shifted to the care of Dr Sarah Ackerley.
She's a natural doctor and hasa birth center in Topsom.
I loved her.
And then my assistant midwifewas Morgie I don't unfortunately
don't even know her last name.
I never met her until my birth,but she was amazing, so Awesome
(25:29):
.
Angela (25:29):
So how were appointments once you shifted into, like
home birth?
Were you planning a home birthor a birth center birth with her
?
A home birth, home birth yeah,how was your appointments
looking?
Hannah (25:42):
Yeah, I loved the appointments because I went from
like seeing the midwife at thehospital for like five minutes
at a time to seeing Sarah forover an hour at our appointments
and really getting into things.
So by the time I transferred toher at 33 weeks, I had only
gained two pounds in mypregnancy and so she really like
(26:07):
focused on like diet and what Iwas eating and like up to my
protein and was giving mesupplements.
Like it was honestly a bitoverwhelming just because I had
transferred to her so late intomy care so we were trying to fit
it into like a six week time.
But she was amazing and myhusband loved her and he was
(26:31):
very nervous about the homebirth and I think he just kind
of blamed that on infertilitylike which is fine, but he was
really like well, we've got ourbaby now, like we have to do
everything we can, and he hejust really wasn't as
comfortable or educated abouthome birth as as I felt.
(26:52):
But our midwife actually reallywas amazing with him and gave
him a lot of information and puthim at ease.
Like her birth center is almostright across the street from
the ambulance bay, like the firestation.
So she was like you know we'revery close if something went
wrong, but she was like we onlyhave a 2% transfer rate, like
(27:17):
she.
She like really took the timeto talk to him and myself, which
was nice.
Angela (27:25):
Yeah, that can really help because the whole attitude
and like energy of everyone likegoing into birth, really makes
a difference on the outcome.
So to have a midwife that'sgoing to take that extra time to
really explain everything andlike make your husband
comfortable is just so special.
Hannah (27:42):
Yeah.
Angela (27:44):
So what were those like final weeks and then days
looking like leading up to whenyour birth started?
Hannah (27:50):
Yeah, I was enormous, as I'm sure most people feel, and
I was really just I was kind ofan emotional wreck because I was
like it's gonna be over, like Ifelt like I always wanted to
experience pregnancy, sometimeseven more than like I wanted to
(28:14):
have a baby.
That kind of sounded weird, butI was like not knowing if I
ever would.
I just like really enjoyed itand and I felt I just felt like
it was slipping away.
But, that being said, I wasn'tlike upset.
I w I was very happy but yeah,it was.
It was great.
I um I remember trying to justlike every night, get to bed
(28:39):
early in case it was the night.
Um, I thought, for no like realreason, I was like, oh, maybe
I'll go early.
It was probably just me likehoping to not to not like go
late, honestly, but um, I didn'tgo early.
So I was like really preparinglike weeks a couple of weeks in
(29:01):
advance, like getting to bedearly and getting enough sleep
and having the house ready, um.
But I did get a little let downa little bit once I hit my due
date, which I don't really Idon't really go by due date, so
I wasn't putting too muchpressure on that itself.
(29:23):
But I was like, okay.
Now I knew I was like, okay,he's not coming early, obviously
.
So then I just kind of had tohunker down and wait.
And everyone was like, whenwere you doing?
When are you doing?
Angela (29:36):
I was like like five days ago like, oh boy, so how
long did that go on, for I?
Hannah (29:46):
had him at 41 weeks.
So, yeah, it was a week pastour due date and I was as big as
a house.
I, yeah I was.
People insisted I was havingtwins or triplets and I was like
, I promise you I'm not.
But he like, my first pregnancysymptom was hunger.
(30:07):
Like I woke up with extremehunger almost immediately and I
lost 20 pounds during pregnancy.
He, he just like, tookeverything I could give him,
took everything I could give him.
He was huge.
So I just like ate, ate us outof house and home and waited,
(30:28):
waited an extra week.
Angela (30:30):
Oh my goodness.
So how did things finally getstarted with your labor?
Hannah (30:36):
Yeah, so at exactly 41 weeks I had gone to bed, of
course, late.
I went to bed at like 1130 thatnight.
I woke up to pee at 330.
I had woken up with acontraction but I hadn't really
realized that yet.
I thought I just had to pee andI never had a single
(30:56):
contraction during my pregnancyuntil I was in labor.
So I had nothing to really goby in terms of that, like I
didn't.
I'd never had Braxton Hicks oranything.
So I went pee and as soon as Ilaid back down I had another
contraction and I was like, oh,that's probably why I woke up,
(31:21):
and of course I was so excited.
So, instead of like resting, Igot up immediately and woke up
my mom, because she was stayingwith us at the time, because I
wanted her at my birth, and Iwas like it's time it's
happening and so, yeah, I didn'trest, but but they it did, it
(31:42):
did seem to like startprogressing, though like pretty
quickly, which was nice.
I I don't know if I could havereally rested too much through
them, not because they were likereally painful, but just
because I was like it's, this isdefinitely it like.
And at 41 weeks and havingnever had contractions, I was
like it's, this is definitely itLike.
And at 41 weeks and havingnever had contractions, I was
(32:02):
like this can't be fake, right?
So, and then my doula my sisterMegan, was my doula and so she
was also staying in the area,cause she lived like two hours
away.
Wait, was this like?
Angela (32:17):
it was just shared too.
Hannah (32:17):
Yes, who was just shared too.
Yes, oh, my god, yeah she.
So I called her and she came.
I think she came over a couplehours later.
But I waited a few hours towake up my husband because he
was gonna have to call out ofwork and I was like let's just
make sure, let's make sure that,like my uterus isn't like
(32:40):
tearing me or something.
But yeah, probably around 530.
I woke him up, we called themidwife at some point after that
maybe close to six or 630.
And she was like she listenedto a contraction, was like okay,
like maybe call me in like anhour or two or something.
And I went and laid in our tubfor a while.
(33:02):
We hadn't set up the birth poolyet, so I was like I need some
hot water.
So I laid in our tub and ateight yeah, it was around eight
that I, my body kind of like,started to have like a pushing
reflex a couple times in the tub.
So I was like wow, this isreally fast, Like.
(33:25):
But I was like there's no way,there's.
No, I'm ready to push.
But we did call my midwifeagain and was like you know,
this is what I felt.
So she came and then theassistant midwife came and they
were just doing their thing.
They were like setting up anddoing all that.
I at some point started to havereally intense back labor.
(33:50):
I would say probably that's theonly thing during the labor and
delivery that happened wasreally, I would say, painful.
My poor doula like she wasamazing.
She followed me around withevery contraction and did hip
(34:11):
squeezes for like two hours.
Um, we were like on the stairsand that was the one point in my
labor that I got a littleirritable and snappy.
I was like get over herebecause it was bad.
But I knew, like I did know,that that wouldn't last.
(34:32):
I mean potentially most likelywouldn't last the rest of the
labor.
I figured he was probably justturning or moving down and so I
was like we can get through thisand we set up.
We set up the pool.
Probably not long after they gotthere, the midwives got there
(34:55):
and I got pretty comfy in thepool for a while, for a few
hours, and I wouldn't say likeit stalled anything.
But I wasn't progressing toomuch for those few hours and my
midwives were like let's, let'swalk around, let's do the stairs
, you know.
Um, they really wanted me tosit on the toilet.
(35:17):
But that was, um, I hated thetoilet, I it.
It was obviously way moreintense.
So I was like no, no, like Idon't need the toilet, but I did
.
I did a few times to sit on thetoilet and, all in all, like I
think I think my laborprogressed very well, Um, even
(35:40):
with those few hours in the tubwhere it was kind of slow.
Um, it was only 13 hours intotal, um, which is a win in my
book for a first pregnancy, afirst labor and delivery.
So, but yeah, it was around,I'd say let's like 2 PM.
I was back in the pool, probablypretty close or in transition
(36:04):
by then, and I was so exhaustedI was falling asleep between
contractions and they were likespoon feeding me honey and
smoothie to try and like get alittle bit of a energy boost,
which I'm glad.
I'm glad they did.
(36:24):
I wasn't really in the in theheadspace to to stay hydrated or
like ask for a bite to eat, so.
So that was nice and so, yeah,it was probably around 2 PM.
I was in.
That was when I was intransition because I pushed for
about two hours.
So I did get out of the poolbecause I asked Sarah to check
(36:50):
me because I was feeling alittle like pushy.
I was feeling ready to push, somy water still had not broken
and she was like asked if Iwanted her to break them and she
, because I was like at ninecentimeters, I think was like
asked if I wanted her to breakthem and she, cause I was like
at nine centimeters, I think,was like a lip.
So she was like if we breakyour waters for you, then you
(37:14):
might start feeling morepressure, and you, and so I
asked her to break my waters andshe did, and then we got back.
We got back into the pool and Iwas immediately pushing at that
point and, uh, as soon as I feltthe burning, I was like this
feels so good and everyonelaughed at me.
(37:36):
But I was just like now, alertin the mode like he's coming,
alert in the mode like he'scoming, and I yeah, I mean I
pushed for about two hours, butto me it felt very fast.
It felt like I pushed for like20 minutes.
Um, which is good, I guess,looking back on it.
But so he I had pushed him outto his ears, his entire head
(38:00):
didn't come out.
I was looking, I had a mirrordown.
I was looking and I had amirror down.
I was looking and I thought hiswhole head had come out.
But my midwives knew that he'donly come out to his ears.
But I didn't then get anothercontraction for maybe close to
10 minutes.
We tried nipple stimulation,pretty much everything we could.
And so I was like can I beardown a little even without a
(38:24):
contraction?
And they're like, yeah, like ifyou want to.
So I started to bear down andthen I did end up getting a
contraction, but there was noprogress in birthing the rest of
his head.
So the assistant midwife Morgiewas like, okay, we're going to.
It was the next contraction.
If he doesn't come out, you'regoing to have to roll your hands
(38:45):
and knees.
So I my next contraction stillno progress, um, with delivering
his the rest of his head.
So I quickly rolled to my handsand knees, got a really intense
contraction in that positionand I didn't know at the time,
but she was, she had gone up tolike help deliver him because we
(39:08):
had some shoulder dystocia andI didn't know like it was so
smooth and like peaceful.
They weren't like giving meanxiety about what could have
been going on, and so that waslike amazing.
I just thought I was having areally intense contraction, Um,
and the contraction she helpedlike deliver him essentially.
(39:31):
She turned him and then he wasdelivered with that contraction
and she, um, I just rolled overand she gave him to me and, um,
they did do a little suction.
He was a little dusky, um, atbirth and they suctioned him for
a little bit but then he pinkedright up and, um, he latched
(39:52):
almost right away and we sat inthe pool for about 20 minutes
with him, um, latching andbreastfeeding and my, my, yeah,
I wasn't getting any likecontractions or feeling like my
placenta was going to bedelivered.
So I wanted to move to the bedwith him and upon standing, I
(40:15):
was like I almost passed out.
So I told them I was like Ithink I might pass out and so
they were like quick, quick, siton the ground and I I sat for a
minute and then they walked meto the bed and pretty, pretty
soon after, I deliver myplacenta and then I started
having a hemorrhage and so thatkind of like was that was a
(40:40):
whirlwind.
Um't honestly remember like toomuch of like the details other
than like my husband was outhere doing skin to skin with our
son, and then the midwives werelike weighing the cloths and
the chucks pads and I she endedup giving me I think two, maybe
(41:04):
three bags of fluids.
I got a couple shots of pitocinto help get the rest of the
like the blood and the clots outand like.
After it was all, she gave mesome herbs and stuff too.
Like I don't even remember allthat she gave me, but after that
was over I had lost a littleover five cups of blood.
(41:27):
But with the, with the fluids,I was feeling pretty good, Like
I definitely I got really paleand stuff like that, but overall
I wasn't like nervous.
They didn't seem nervous, theywere just like calmly doing
their thing.
She never mentioned a transfer,so I was like I know that I'm
(41:49):
fine and I am just so gratefulthat I didn't like have to get
dressed and like transfer to thehospital because she was so
great because she was so great.
Angela (42:07):
Yeah, wow, that is, that's incredible, and it is
nice to really trust yourmidwives and you know, and to
trust their skills and to trustthat they know when to say you
know, we need to go in for somemore support for this, you know.
Hannah (42:16):
I think it was about seven hours after the delivery
that she made that call for ourson.
Actually because he startedaspirating and we were giving
him oxygen for it at home, butshe was like he'll need oxygen
for a while.
He had ingested like a ton ofmeconium.
(42:37):
My birth pool was full of itwhen I delivered him.
There was a lot so.
So we did transfer for him andwe had a six day NICU stay for
oxygen, and that was extremelyrough for me.
Angela (42:54):
Yeah, oh, my goodness, just after your beautiful home
birth.
It's hard, but it's likenecessary, hard right.
Like, yeah, do you want to walkme through, like the highlights
that you want to share?
Hannah (43:07):
about it.
Yeah, so we, we went byambulance because we actually
hadn't like got or installed hiscar seat yet, we hadn't even
like thought about that.
So we did get transported byambulance and we got there and
they the doctors, were great.
Like, when we got there theywere like really on top of it
(43:30):
and just like got right on him.
But it was hard because, like Iknew what we were going in for
we're going in for oxygen andthey were like, well, now, like
like hospital protocol, you haveto have two rounds of
antibiotics until we like whilewe wait to make sure he doesn't
have an infection.
(43:51):
And like they, they were likeforcing a binky on him, even
though he didn't want it.
They kept dipping it in sugarwater and like forcing him to
take it and he just like keptspinning it out and I I had just
got stitched up too at home,like I had quite a few stitches
(44:15):
and but like was just liketrying to heal during those days
and also like trying toadvocate.
So we caved to like the vitamink shot, because the doctor
every morning on rounds was likehe needs this, like he could
bleed out and die, like youcan't circumcise him, you know
(44:37):
if he doesn't have this.
And we were like just we spentlike the whole six days we only
got nine hours of sleep totaland I was like in a lot of pain
and so, yeah, I I have regretabout that but I am also glad
(44:59):
that that was all that we kindof let them do.
But it was really sad.
Like he had they couldn't finda good spot for his IV in his
hands or his arms or his feet,so they had to put one in his
head and they I believe yeah, hehad to have a feeding tube.
(45:20):
I say had to.
I don't really know Like thisis coming from, like the
doctor's perspective, I wouldsay, but because of him needing
oxygen, I'm guessing that's whyhe needed the feeding tube for a
few days.
And it was hard because theywere really picky about like me
holding him.
I could only hold him and doskin to skin for 30 minutes once
(45:42):
a day.
They wanted him to stay in thebed.
(46:05):
They wouldn't let me fallasleep with him in like in the
chair.
I would like fall asleep.
This is their safety, likepolicy.
I don't really know how to justignore it.
So that was hard.
And then, by like day four, whenthe feeding tube had come out,
I I knew that he was likestarving, he was not getting
enough food and their policy islike they, they can only have.
Babies can only have up to likeone ML or something.
(46:29):
It's equivalent to like half anounce of of milk or colostrum.
So I, I just like took over andI was not having it and I was
like I am breastfeeding him,like along with what they gave
him, because once the tube cameout, they were giving it to him
(46:50):
in like a syringe and I was likeI'm giving him more.
And they were like, oh, okay,like, yeah, like you can do what
you want.
So he, um, I didn't know howmuch he was getting, obviously
like through the breast, but itwas a lot more.
And by the time we got home, um, which was six, he was six days
(47:14):
old he was eating six ouncesevery two hours.
So I was like, yeah, half anounce was not doing it, he was
starving.
Angela (47:25):
So, yeah, you still know what's best.
You know, even if it's yourfirst time doing it and you have
never been through like thisexperience before, like you have
to trust your intuition, youknow.
Yeah, so you're still onlythree months postpartum, is that
right?
Hannah (47:42):
No, he is two and a half .
Two and a half.
Angela (47:45):
Okay.
So how was your postpartum,after you got home from the
hospital, those first few months, integrating?
Hannah (48:02):
Yeah, it was wonderful, it was so smooth.
I just kind of implemented alot of the things that, like my
mom had done and that I had kindof planned to do.
I really liked having that planand thankfully, my son kind of
just really adapted to that.
Well, he loved sleep and heloved his crib, his crib.
(48:27):
So we did contact naps everyday but he didn't really love so
thankfully, like cause, we didsome sleep training with him and
it just kind of worked out thathe really only liked his crib.
So, yes, like he was a champ atsleeping, breastfeeding was
really wonderful and it wentsmooth.
(48:47):
I didn't breastfeed for as longas I wanted.
I did end up like losing mysupply, but it went so good.
I didn't have I was blessed tonot have any like postpartum
depression.
Like postpartum depression, Ijust kind of soaked it all up
and we we did have friends overa lot, which, um, which I liked.
(49:15):
I know a lot of people I feltkind of abnormal in this but
like a lot of people you know,want some time.
We we just kind of carried onas normal I guess, and we just
kind of wanted everyone to seehim and love on him.
So I liked that and yeah,honestly I don't think it could
have gone any better.
Angela (49:35):
Oh, that's good.
I'm so glad to hear that afterthe, you know little bumps in
the road.
So how were you still had carewith your midwife, I'm assuming
postpartum also, how was thatthe support from her, seeing her
like after all of that and likedebriefing and, yeah, just
having her care for thepostpartum period?
Hannah (49:56):
Yeah, I loved that, like I felt like a VIP, like a VIP
patient with her, as I'm sureall her patients do, and it was
nice to have somebody come intoyour home and like check you and
(50:16):
bring you supplements or sits,bath stuff, and she was just a
delight and I could like tellher anything and ask her
questions.
I absolutely loved it and she'sstill my doctor and my son's
(50:37):
pediatrician and so we're, so wewere so blessed by her care.
Angela (50:44):
Oh, that's amazing.
It really is like next levelcare, like you said, like VIP
care.
Hannah (50:49):
I love that, yeah, and yeah, was it helpful like having
her there to like help youdebrief and like process like
better, like everything that hadkind of happened in that like
whirlwind of like the shortpostpartum, like time yeah, she
was actually like the key personfor that um, I remember at some
(51:11):
of my later like my farther outpostpartum appointments, she
ended up bringing that up andwas like so have you processed
like the whole hospital stay andthe trauma?
And I was like what trauma?
But then as I like, as I wastalking, I was like spilling all
of my frustrations and I waslike oh, yeah, um, and she like
(51:38):
recommended um a therapist inthe office if I needed and
really talked through it with meand she actually like shared
some, some of the stuff that hadhappened that I hadn't noticed
in my postpartum state.
She was like, yeah, did you seethey did this?
And I was like, no, I did not.
So she was really great withthat and I I still will think
(52:06):
about it and get like reallyupset at times.
Like as soon as we had left theNICU we drove my husband like
drove like a mile down the roadand we stopped at a gas station
and we both just burst intotears because we were so drained
and like so sad and just tiredand so processing all that like
(52:32):
with her and the fact that shelike really cared enough to help
us with that was really nice.
Angela (52:42):
Yeah, that it is.
It's a lot for sure To havethat support is is instrumental.
So, as a final question, if youwere to give advice to someone
who is expecting, or even newparents, what's one of the
biggest things you'd want toshare at this point in your
journey?
Hannah (53:01):
Yeah, I would say really like, educate yourself on all
of the avenues.
I would say a lot of people dowhat they know or what is
expected of them or even what'skind of just like mainstream.
But like I really do think thatthere's power in education and
(53:24):
knowledge.
And a lot of people walk awaywith traumatic births and the
statistics of that are likereally sad, whether it's home
birth or hospital birth.
I think that could those couldbe a lot lower those statistics.
Hospital birth I think thatcould those could be a lot lower
(53:45):
those statistics.
And you're not going to findout what works for you and what
you like if you only know onething.
So that would be my, myrecommendation.
I like a huge birth advocatenow and I like doula for friends
and family, so I'm sure peopleget sick of me telling them that
, but that would be my advice.
Angela (54:07):
Yeah, it's really so important to just take the time
to learn all of your options andthink about what feels right
for you, because it's not gonnait's gonna be different for
everybody, you know.
Yeah, for sure, awesome.
Well, thank you so much, hannah, for taking the time to chat
with me today and share yourstory.
Yes, thank you.
Before you go, I just want toremind you I have a ton of
(54:33):
resources for pregnancy andbirth If you're pregnant,
whether you're a first-time momor if this is your fifth baby.
I want you to check out theshow notes, because I have some
free trainings and freedownloads that you can sign up
for, as well as the link toaccess my labor of love, a
comprehensive, self-paced onlinechildbirth education course.
I created this coursespecifically for moms who don't
(54:56):
want to be told what to do,regardless of where you're
birthing or who you're birthingwith, and I'd honestly love to
teach you everything that I knowso that you can prepare for an
autonomous birth experience andprepare to step into your role
as the leader of your birthjourney.
So click to the show notes,check out all of those links and
(55:17):
, if you ever have any questions, feel free to DM me at
mymainbirth over on Instagram.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.