October 9, 2025 • 35 mins
Are you a soon to be mom, a seasoned mother, or simply interested in the world of birth? You’re in the right place!
In this episode, we discuss:
- Kelli's three Maine birth stories
- Home birth in Maine
- The evolution from hospital to home birth
- Midwifery care and doula support
- ….and a whole lot more!
Links Mentioned in the Show -
Connect with Kelli
Connect with Kelli's Midwife, Gayle Eckey
You can also find her on instagram @gayle_eckey_cpm
Connect with Kelli's doula Emily Nixon (and definitely check out her podcast and women's circles too!)
Additional Resources you’ll LOVE…
If you are ready to prepare for an autonomous birth experience, where you’re respected as the authority over your body and your baby… regardless of where you plan on birthing -
CLICK HERE for 10% off the MyAutonomous Birth self-paced, online course!
Not sure where to start? I’ve got you covered! Check out my FREE resource, 37 Questions to Ask Your Care Provider. Whether you’re interviewing new providers or have already established care, this FREE resource offers guidance on important topics to discuss with your provider.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Kelli (00:00):
I definitely was intending to free birth.
That was my original intention.
And then around 25, 26 weeks, Ichanged my mind.
And I really just I had thethought of hiring a midwife and
I felt shame in doing that.
And that's when I started kindof questioning the whole free
(00:20):
birth rhetoric, you know what Imean?
I started being like, if I feelshame because I'm considering a
midwife, like that's howpowerful that whole community
is, and that's how big of aninfluence they have on women and
mothers.
And yeah, as soon as I had thattwinge of shame, I really it
made me a little bit angry, youknow, honestly.
(00:42):
I was like, this isn't right.
We can't shame people or yeah.
Angela (00:49):
So yeah, totally.
Like free birth is a greatidea, but when it becomes an
ideology and and like that likething where it's like, oh,
you're not cool if you don'tfree birth, and it's like, hold
on.
Kelli (01:00):
And you feel like you're failing if you choose to have
support there, and that's notthat's not right.
All women choose differentdifferent paths for a reason,
and I think the safety of thenervous system and the safety of
the woman is is the mostimportant thing.
And if that is a hospital forsomeone, then that's what that
is, you know.
Angela (01:19):
Yeah.
Kelli (01:20):
For me, since I had two previous experiences that were
so traumatic and kind of reallymedicalized unnecessarily, that
was kind of my reasoning forreally desiring that path.
And then I just I think womenare meant to birth with other
women.
I really believe that.
I feel like just having thatsupport.
(01:41):
And the midwife, I might Ilove, I loved my midwife this
time.
I actually heard her interviewwith Emily Nixon on that
podcast.
Her name is Gail.
And as soon as I listened tothat episode, I think it was
shortly after that, I decided tosee if she was available and if
she was willing to travel herebecause it's quite far for her.
So that's how that relationshipstarted.
(02:02):
And I think she came on around26 or 27 weeks.
So it was really just for mythird trimester, and it was
lovely having another woman carefor me during those times.
Angela (02:16):
I'm Angela, and I'm a certified birth photographer,
experienced dual la, childbirtheducator, and your host here on
the My Main Birth Podcast.
This is a space where we sharethe real life stories of
families and their unique birthexperiences in the beautiful
state of Maine.
From our state's biggesthospitals to birth center births
(02:36):
and home births, every birthstory deserves to be heard and
celebrated.
Whether you're a soon-to-bemom, a seasoned mother, or
simply interested in the worldof birth, these episodes are for
you.
Welcome back.
You're listening to episode 132of My Main Birth.
(02:56):
Today's birth story guest isKelly, and she is here to share
her three birth stories with us.
The first was at Mercy Hospitalwith the midwives about 11
years ago when they were knownas Batco of Midwives.
Her second was a home birth,but with a midwife who had
previously had a really badexperience with a breach birth.
(03:17):
And when Kelly's baby came inthe breach presentation, her
midwife became very nervous andwas not good support for her in
that moment.
Fortunately, the assistantmidwife that was present was
able to step in and provide someof the support that she was
needing in those moments, andthere were no complications.
And then Kelly shares about herthird birth experience, a home
(03:38):
birth with love and care fromher midwife Gail Eckey and her
good friend Emily Nixon ofEmbodied Women's Wisdom.
Emily is also in Wapio'syear-long birthkeeper cohort
with me this year, and she alsohas a wonderful podcast that I
highly recommend you check out.
It's called Soul Evolution: Embodied Women's Wisdom. (03:56):
undefined
All right.
Hi, Kelly.
Welcome to My Main Birth.
Hi.
So to get started, would youshare a little bit about you and
your family?
Kelli (04:12):
Yeah, so my name is Kelly.
I am a practicing clinicalherbalist here in Maine.
Um, we live in Auburn.
We're a family of six, we're ablended family.
So um my partner Ethan has an11-year-old daughter, and then I
have an 11-year-old son and aneight-year-old daughter, and
then we have a baby together.
(04:34):
So we're very, very busy.
We have a medicinal herb farmhere.
We do some homesteading, weraise meat.
Um we're just trying to build alittle community.
We're very fresh on this land.
We just got a nice sweet little22-acre plot and starting from
scratch.
Angela (04:54):
So amazing.
Yeah.
So now jumping into your birthstories, would you share a
little bit about how you foundout you were pregnant for the
first time and what yourthoughts were in choosing your
care then?
Yeah.
Kelli (05:10):
So when I found out I was pregnant with my son in 2013,
it was very unexpected.
I don't know if you know someof my history, but I come from a
background of addiction.
I spent many years on thestreets of Boston, kind of
hopeless and very, very sickwhen I was younger in my early
(05:34):
20s.
Um, that was a result of anopen heart surgery that kind of
had that cascade effect afterthat led me to that place.
And during that time, Iexperienced a pregnancy, and it
turns out it was an ectopicpregnancy.
So it wasn't a normal ectopic.
(05:55):
It was kind of like in themuscle of my uterus, so it
wasn't easy for them to just dowhat they would normally do.
So they almost were going to doa hysterectomy, actually.
And it was really scary.
And then kind of last minute,they found a doctor that was
able to um get it out withoutremoving my womb.
(06:18):
So that was a blessing.
But they did tell me that itwas very unlikely that I would
conceive um successfully orcarry like a successful
pregnancy.
So that's kind of what I had inmy mind.
So when I found out I waspregnant with Kai, my
11-year-old son, it was veryunexpected.
I was in denial, and I actuallydidn't I didn't poop for like
(06:40):
two weeks or something.
And I ended up going to urgentcare, and they were like, is
there any chance you'repregnant?
And I was like, No, no possibleway, you know.
But it turns out I was, and umwe were excited.
I, you know, I accepted it as ablessing and a gift from God,
and yeah, my first pregnancy wasamazing.
(07:03):
I I was practicing and teachingyoga at that time, so I was
very, very active and verystrong, and um I was really kind
of at the peak of my healthpost um, you know, getting well
after that experience with drugaddiction in my younger 20s, and
um it was just a reallybeautiful experience.
(07:24):
Yeah, and I knew I I was at thepoint in my life where I was
transitioning to everythingnatural.
I was coming off of 15 years ofmental health medication and um
things for anxiety and just allthese pharmacological drugs,
and I was in the process oftransitioning everything to all
natural anyway, and I I it hadbeen a few years since I took
(07:46):
any pharmaceuticals, so I knewthat I wanted a natural birth.
But during like I didn't knowwhat I didn't know, you know,
when I went with the midwivesthat practice out of the
hospital, and you know, youthink that because you're you
have a midwife, that it's morenatural, and that's just
oftentimes not the case, right?
(08:07):
So that birth was traumatic.
I mean, I had group E strep, sothey had me on Ivy antibiotics.
And since I had such a historywith like mental health, you
know, being in the environmentof the bright lights and that
(08:27):
kind of sterile environmentreally made my energy completely
collapse.
But I didn't, I wasn't aware ofit at the time, you know what I
mean?
Because I was so conditionedthat that was what normal was.
So it took three days.
Um, they did give me three daysbefore they gave me Pitocin,
but they ended up on that thirdday.
They tried the castor oil andlike the natural things.
(08:51):
Um in the hospital?
Was this in Maine?
This was in the hospital atMercy, which is something
different now.
But yes, it was when it wasbackhove.
Backhove midwives, exactly.
And they were sweet, sweetwomen, they were amazing
practitioners, you know, reallypassionate about what they did.
(09:11):
Um, but they were definitelymedically trained.
So the Pitocin was insane.
I had the Pitocin without anyother drugs, so it was fiery.
Angela (09:27):
Yeah, oh my goodness.
So did you go in like for aninduction or did like your water
break?
How did they how did thingswork?
My water break.
My water broke, yeah.
Kelli (09:36):
My water broke, and then because I had that group B
positive um test, they they hadme come in immediately, pretty
much.
Angela (09:44):
Yeah, so then you had three days, and then they
started the Potosin.
I feel like that's like almostlike you know, like they like
they do try to work with you,but it's like you're still like,
you know, like okay, you'vebeen in here for three days,
right?
Was that kind of like the vibe?
Kelli (09:59):
Yeah, totally.
Three days is longer than theynormally wait, I feel, you know.
Um yeah, but they started thePitocin, I think, around 9 a.m.
and he he was born at like 615.
So definitely a roller coaster.
Angela (10:16):
How was your postpartum with him?
Kelli (10:19):
It was really well supported.
My ex- my my kid's father, myex-husband Tucker, his moms were
there.
Uh, my mom was there, so I wasvery well cared for.
It was it was really beautiful.
I think it was before the timeof meal trains being a big
thing, and but I was well caredfor by my by all of the mothers.
Angela (10:42):
Yeah, oh, that's so helpful.
Yeah.
So now how did you find out youwere pregnant for the second
time?
And like, what were yourthoughts in choosing your care
the second time around?
Kelli (10:53):
The second time was 2016 when I became pregnant.
She was born in June of 2017,and that was a very intentional
conception.
Um, I think it was the firstmonth of trying.
I became pregnant, and I knewimmediately that I wanted a home
birth because of the experienceI had in the hospital.
(11:16):
And I feel like I had learned alittle bit more about my own
wounding and my own kind of umthe way being in a hospital
environment impacted me, youknow.
So I was more aware of that,and I chose a home birth and a
beautiful, sweet midwife here inMaine, and it was another
(11:36):
really beautiful, easefulpregnancy.
I do feel like definitely alittle bit more nausea, and like
physically, I was a little bitmore challenged with my daughter
that my my first one just feltso so easeful.
Um, so yeah, Aurora was alittle more challenging on my
physical health, but nothingtoo, nothing too complicated.
(12:00):
She was breach, and they theywere positive that they had
turned her around when I wentinto the birth portal.
My water broke on June 2nd, andthat actually she was about two
weeks early, and that was theJune 2nd was the day my father
(12:20):
passed.
So it was a really significantdate for me.
And I kind of before, like theweek before, I kind of had a
feeling it was gonna go likethat.
So that's kind of a reallybeautiful coincidence.
And my water broke, and thatlabor was going really smoothly.
I mean, I labored overnight,and yeah, I was in the water in
(12:44):
transition.
I remember things were reallystarting to heat up a little
bit, and I looked in the waterand there was a little piece of
poop floating in the water, andI was like, Oh no, I pooped.
And the midwife was just like,That's not yours.
I need to check you.
And then they discovered thatshe was coming out her butt
(13:05):
first, and then everyone kind ofwent into a panic, and it
really went kind of downhillfrom there, and they called the
paramedics.
It was too late to transfer me.
Thank goodness.
I'm so thankful that theycouldn't transfer me.
I was already pushing, she wasalready coming out.
So the paramedics came and theykind of just stayed in the
(13:28):
hallway and witnessed, theydidn't interfere at all.
They let the midwives kind ofdo what they were doing.
My midwife was very scared, andshe kind of looked at me and
said, This is out of my scope ofpractice, and she was very
afraid.
So the kind of her partnermidwife, the backup midwife,
came really came through reallyconfident and strong for me and
(13:51):
kind of took over the space andsupported me through that.
They positioned me in a reallyawful, awful position, and it
was really intense.
She came out and she was justvery limp and not breathing.
And I just remember like beingin total shock, just laying
(14:11):
there on the bed.
They hit me with a shot ofpitocin in my leg, and they were
just everyone was like, talk toyour baby, talk to your baby.
And I was in shock.
I was just like staring, justyou know, it was bizarre.
I feel like I kind of left mybody a little bit and was
witnessing from above, you know.
And she started breathingwithin within a minute, and
(14:36):
again, the paramedics didn'tinterfere.
They let the midwives take careof it, and then everything was
all right after that.
You know, they handed me mybaby and I went into a
postpartum period.
Um yeah, my postpartum, Ithink, was very, very stressful
(14:57):
because of that.
Like that set the tone for myearly postpartum, which was
unfortunate.
I ended up only being able tonurse her for about six weeks,
and it was really stressful.
And I was having supply issues,and she wasn't her gastro her
gastro system was just reallyupset, and she screamed a lot
(15:19):
for the first six weeks of herlife.
And I just remember thatparticular group of midwives
were really kind of aggressivewith me around the breastfeeding
thing, kind of making me feellike a failure for even
considering trying somethingelse, you know.
And I tried my friend's milk,and she just wasn't tolerating
(15:42):
breast milk very well.
And finally, at six weeks, Iordered um a goat milk formula
called Sammy's milk, which isvery minimal.
I think there's only like sixingredients or something, and
instantaneously, like literallyflipping a switch, she snapped
out of it as soon as I gave herthat.
(16:03):
So that was that experience,and it was very another very
kind of traumatic birth.
And I feel like it didn't haveto be.
Knowing what I know now, Iwould have felt safe birthing a
breach baby.
Um and this time around, whenseeking a midwife, that was kind
(16:25):
of a really big thing in mymind.
And I think at this point I waswilling to free birth if I if I
had to, and I didn't haveanyone to support me.
Angela (16:35):
So it's really hard because so when that happened,
that was before licensure tookplace in Maine.
So like that wouldn'ttechnically have prevented you,
but then again, it comes down tolike each midwife.
Like, what is each midwifecomfortable with?
And thank goodness that you'reyou know, her backup midwife
felt comfortable to you know,kind of step in and be that so
you know, stronger supportperson for you in that moment
(16:57):
when you you needed, you know,some calm, right?
Kelli (17:00):
Totally, yeah.
She she was very just likefierce and um steady, and she
was very competent and made mefeel safe for sure.
Angela (17:11):
Yeah, that can make all the difference, really, in those
moments.
Kelli (17:15):
Yeah, you can tell when someone trusts the birth
process, you know.
Angela (17:21):
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah, so now how did you findout you were pregnant now for
the third time?
Fast forwarding a little bit toyour most recent birth, and
yeah, what were your thoughtsreally in choosing your care?
Kelli (17:36):
Tula, Tula is 14 months, she's just about 14 months, and
I thought I was done havingbabies.
I am 41, and I had I mean, Iguess I was toying with the idea
in my mind a little bit, but Ireally, I really thought I I
thought I was done.
(17:57):
So she was a surprise, althoughI do think I called her in,
even though she was a surprise,you know.
Um I remember actually I wasjust telling this story to my
students the other day.
I was I found out I waspregnant, I think it was
December 5th of 2023.
(18:19):
And a few weeks prior to that,I was on my way to a breath work
session with Tanya Zuckerman.
I don't know if you're familiarwith her, her work is amazing.
So I was on my way to thisprivate breath work session, and
as I was driving there, I justgot this like direct line of
communication from this babythat was just like, I'm coming
(18:41):
in.
And it was just like that.
That's all it was.
It wasn't, it didn't go furtherthan that.
And I was just like, oh, allright, like maybe there's
something here.
And then I went into thatbreath work session, and I
remember as I was breathing, mywomb was like glowing and light,
like just like lit up, and allof the energy of my breath was
(19:03):
circulating through my womb.
And it, I literally feel likethat's the moment that I became
pregnant almost.
It was because when I thinkabout the timeline of when I
found out and when I missed myperiod, it lines up with that
date, like and it was just wildto think that you know what I
mean.
That communication is so open.
(19:24):
So yeah, I think before I foundout, I already kind of knew,
and yeah, I was not overjoyed,shall we say?
And I feel like it's hard forwomen to express when they're
not thrilled to be pregnant.
(19:44):
Like we we feel a lot of shamein saying that.
Um yeah, and there's a lot ofshame.
And I actually I had a reallybig year planned.
I was teaching at these reallybig events.
Ethan and I were going to SouthAmerica for our 40th birthday.
Like, we had all of thesereally big things planned, and I
(20:06):
was throwing a fit.
I was mad, you know.
Um, yeah, so the firsttrimester, I was kind of just
surrendering to it and cancelingeverything, and just thinking
about, okay, so there's a forkin the road, and I'm actually
going this way, not this way.
And I just knew that she was, Ijust knew like she told me she
(20:30):
was coming.
So I knew that it was meant tobe, and I was supposed to, I was
supposed to become a mother toa baby again and start kind of
start all over.
Yeah.
Gosh, how special.
Yeah.
And we have a really special,it's my relationship with her is
different, I think, because I'm10 years older than I was the
(20:54):
first time I had a child.
And I think it was a little bitharder on my body physically,
but from a mental emotionalperspective, I am so like so
much more solid in who I am as awoman, and really solid in my
values, and my nervous system ismore grounded and stabilized.
And I just, it's a wholedifferent experience parent
(21:16):
parenting, like a small one inthis phase of life.
Yeah.
Angela (21:22):
Yeah, just like the difference in your mindset, like
versus, you know, obviouslyit's special at any age, but
like it's kind of like anotherlevel when you you know have
kids when you're a little older.
Kelli (21:32):
Yeah, and you've made some mistakes, so you've already
kind of learned and grownthrough those mistakes.
And yeah, my pregnancy was hardthis time.
Angela (21:43):
How were things looking like as your pregnancy like
progressed?
Yeah, over the months.
Kelli (21:47):
Yeah, it was harder on my body physically.
I feel like I gained a lot ofweight really fast before I even
like looked like I waspregnant, and it was really
uncomfortable for me.
Uh, giving up my body again,you know, because we sacrifice
our our bodies, and I think thatpart was a little bit harder
for me.
(22:07):
I I we were preparing to move,we we packed up our lives and
moved and bought this land andstarted building this house.
So it was just a really big,big year of transition.
So it was it was challenging.
I went and uh one really coolthing that I got to do while I
was very pregnant was I went tothe Matriarch Rising Festival
(22:31):
down in North Carolina, and Ihad the opportunity to vend my
apothecary there.
So I was there, I was verypregnant, nine months pregnant,
took a road trip down and took alot out of me when I got back.
I had like a sciatica flare-up,and the drive was intense.
But that was a really beautifulexperience being in that energy
(22:53):
with a big belly and beingpregnant like that, and being
around a lot of women that arejust honoring the mother.
That was really beautiful.
And then I came back from that,and we immediately, like, as
soon as I got back, we moved outof that house and without a
home to move into.
Really, we moved to the landand into a little camper and our
(23:18):
geodesic dome with three kidsand a bunch of animals, and um,
just in the peak of summer, itwas it was really, really
intense and really challenging.
That last month of my pregnancywas July, and it was so hot
that summer, and I didn't havean air-conditioned space to
(23:39):
exist in, and I was really angryat that point.
And yeah, she was born in thedome off-grid.
Angela (23:52):
Oh, so what were your thoughts?
I guess to back up just alittle bit, what were your
thoughts like when choosing yourcare this time around?
Were you like toying with theidea like a free birth at all
this time?
And then like, how did thatkind of evolve for you?
Kelli (24:05):
I definitely was intending to free birth, that
was my original intention.
And then around 25-26 weeks, Ichanged my mind and I really
just I had the thought of hiringa midwife, and I felt shame in
doing that.
And that's when I started kindof questioning the whole free
(24:26):
birth rhetoric, you know what Imean?
I started being like, if I feelshame because I'm considering a
midwife, like that's howpowerful that whole community
is, and that's how big of aninfluence they have on women and
mothers.
And yeah, as soon as I had thattwinge of shame, I really it
made me a little bit angry, youknow, honestly.
Angela (24:48):
I was like, this isn't right, we can't shame people or
yeah, so yeah, totally like freebirth is a great idea, but when
it becomes an ideology and andlike that like thing where it's
like, oh, you're not cool if youdon't free birth, then it's
like hold on.
Kelli (25:05):
And you feel like you're failing if you choose to have
support there, and that's notthat's not right.
All women choose differentdifferent paths for a reason,
and I think the safety of thenervous system and the safety of
the woman is is the mostimportant thing.
And if that is a hospital forsomeone, then that's what that
is, you know.
Yeah, for me, since I had twoprevious experiences that were
(25:28):
so traumatic and kind of reallymedicalized unnecessarily, that
was kind of my reasoning forreally desiring that path.
And then I just I think womenare meant to birth with other
women.
I really believe that.
I feel like just having thatsupport.
And the midwife, I might Ilove, I loved my midwife this
(25:51):
time.
I actually heard her interviewwith Emily Nixon on that
podcast.
Her name is Gail.
And as soon as I listened tothat episode, I think it was
shortly after that I decided tosee if she was available and if
she was willing to travel herebecause it's quite far for her.
So that's how that relationshipstarted.
And I think she came on around26 or 27 weeks.
(26:11):
So it was really just for mythird trimester, and it was
lovely having another woman carefor me during those times.
And postpartum, Emily Nixon,the birth advocate, embodied wit
women's wisdom now.
She changed her name, but Idon't know how I would have
gotten through that time withouther.
(26:32):
She was just such a valuable,beautiful support for me through
my pregnancy and especiallythose postpartum weeks.
Like she really, it was so, sospecial.
And I can't, I give her so muchpraise for for that because
women really need that.
There's something that mencan't provide, you know.
(26:53):
And I don't think they're meantto.
The father and the man isn'tisn't meant to embody certain
energies.
They can't.
We can't expect them to show upin certain ways.
That's something only a womancan do.
Angela (27:05):
So there's different roles for sure.
Kelli (27:07):
Yeah, so I really believe that wholeheartedly.
And I really my wish is for allwomen to to really everyone
puts so much focus on the birth,the birth, and preparing for
the birth, which is just such aminuscule moment.
And postpartum, I think,really, really needs planning.
And I really encourage anyonewho is pregnant to really take
(27:30):
that into consideration.
Yes.
Angela (27:33):
It can be easy to get wrapped up with the the birth,
which is the big event, butdefinitely don't forget about
postpartum.
Kelli (27:39):
Yeah.
My birth with Tula was a areclamation.
Her birth was six hours.
It was fast and fierce andintense and just so beautiful.
And I remember every I rememberevery moment of it.
Angela (27:55):
Would you share any more details that are sticking out
to you about how it all kind ofunfolded?
Yeah.
Kelli (28:02):
My water broke around 8 p.m.
the night before, but it wasleaky.
It wasn't like a fast break allat once.
So I knew it was happening.
I knew I was kind of going intothat space.
And the next morning, the kidswere here.
We got them out the door to goto summer camp, and things
(28:23):
progressed really quickly.
I remember like between 9 and10, I kind of set up my space
and isolated myself and just wasin it.
And it was manageable then.
And then I think around 11:30or noon, I called Emily and I
was like, things are reallystarting to amp up.
(28:44):
I think I need you.
And she only lives five minutesdown the road.
So she got here pretty quickly.
And then I called Gail.
She was kind of the last one Icalled.
And she got here about 30minutes before Tula was born.
And I remember like transitionand going into that space.
I think I was, I kept, I was indenial that it was happening so
(29:08):
fast because I had two longerlabors.
So the fact that this was sofast, I think it wasn't
registering for me.
So I called her really late andI didn't believe that it was
happening so quickly.
I was like, oh, maybe like 8p.m.
tonight, you know.
And it happened, it happenedfast.
And I remember during one big,like really big powerful
(29:31):
contraction, I was in the water,and you know, I just I was
still in denial at that point.
And I was like, how can I be inthis much pain?
Because it's, you know,pleasure, a pleasureful birth is
is wonderful for some people,but that's just not the reality
for most people.
And I think that surrenderingto the pain and going through
(29:52):
that portal of pain is a bigpart of the transformation
process.
But I remember Gail said to me,like, reach down and And just
you know, because I washands-off, I didn't want any
checks or anything like that.
I just wanted a witness andsomeone there in case of
emergency.
Um, just a wise woman to bepresent.
And I felt down and I stuck myfinger in, and I felt her head,
(30:16):
and I was just like, Oh, okay,like you know, I'm almost there.
And then it was a couple bigpushes, and she was she was out.
It was it was wild.
And Ethan was just like steady,just holding space, really
grounded masculine energy thatfelt really safe.
(30:38):
And she came out, she had afull head of hair.
I kind of I saw her in mydreams like two weeks before, so
I feel like I knew exactly whatshe looked like, and I wasn't
surprised at all.
I didn't know that it was agirl until maybe you know, 30
seconds or so after I had her inmy arms.
(30:58):
That's when I looked and sawthat it was a girl.
Yeah, it was really special.
I'm thankful that I had that Ihad another opportunity to have
that experience after two prettyhard, harder experiences.
Angela (31:18):
Oh, yeah, it's really just those moments when you
bring your baby to your chest,and especially after you know,
claiming that power that, youknow, maybe it was taken in
some, you know, the previousbirths, it's just that, yeah,
that feeling is just so amazing.
Kelli (31:33):
Yeah, it was really special.
And then postpartum, I mean, wedidn't have running water, like
it was challeng, it waschallenging, but I did it.
I had a lot of support.
I had a lot of support with thekids.
Their dad really came throughand had them a little bit extra
during those weeks, and it'sbeen really special to witness
(31:55):
their relationship with her too.
Angela (31:58):
Yeah.
Yeah, that's amazing.
Now, as a final question, ifyou were to give advice to
someone who's expecting or evennew parents, what's one of the
biggest things that you'd wantto share?
Kelli (32:14):
You don't need to buy everything that they try and
sell you for new parents.
I feel like that's anotherprogression that I see is the
first time they you buy all ofthis stuff, all of this extra
stuff for diaper like wipewarmers and all of these
different things, and youliterally end up not using any
of it.
(32:34):
So very minimal.
Um trust yourself, it's yourbaby, it's not your parents, or
like it's not your family.
And I feel like it's not thedoctors, yeah.
It's not the doctors, it'ssomething that a lot of people
struggle with, I think, is likeclaiming that sovereignty and
(32:57):
radical responsibility for theirown experience.
And I feel like that's reallywhat it's about, you know, not
outsourcing your power formaking decisions.
Angela (33:09):
Yeah, that is so true.
And yeah, buying all this stuffis like definitely a
progression you go through fromlike the first babies to like
the third ones.
Like, you really, you know,maybe like a couple towels.
Kelli (33:19):
Yeah, some blankets, right?
Not much.
All hand-me-downs at thispoint, you know.
You learn that it's reallysilly to be buying new clothes
all the time when they're out ofthem in three to six months.
Yeah.
Angela (33:34):
Seriously, it goes so fast.
Yeah.
So, do you want to share alittle bit about your business
and your company?
Kelli (33:44):
Sure.
I can share a little bit.
Um, I'm a clinical practicingherbalist, so I have a like
private client practice where Isupport people with herbs and
nourishment.
And I run an herbalism schoolhere on our land.
And we have an apothecarybusiness.
I've been doing this for theapothecary business, it is
(34:07):
around eight years old now, andI've been working with plants as
medicine for about 12 yearsnow, and it's definitely a path
that saved my life, as Imentioned, where I come from.
And that kind of is how I endedup here.
I was looking for natural, safeways to support mental health
(34:28):
when I was transitioning off ofmedication, and here I am you
know, 12, 13 years later, andit's it's just it's very
fulfilling work.
It's like soul work, it's mymedicine, you know.
Yeah.
Angela (34:47):
Yeah, I love that.
So, what's your website?
Kelli (34:50):
We have two websites.
The product website isearthspiralapothecary.com and
the community site where I sharemy school.
I have an upcoming onlinewomen's membership community
that's going to be focused onlike alchemy and kind of the
more psycho-spiritual side ofworking with plants.
And all of that information ison earthspiral community.com.
(35:13):
Very cool.
Angela (35:14):
I will link both of those in the show notes.
And yeah, thank you so much,Kelly, for taking the time to
chat with me today and shareyour stories.
Kelli (35:22):
Thanks.
This was lovely.
I haven't I haven't told Tula'sstory like this yet.
So thank you for theopportunity.
Angela (35:29):
Before you go, I just want to remind you, I have a ton
of resources for pregnancy andbirth.
If you're pregnant, whetheryou're a first-time mom or if
this is your fifth baby, I wantyou to check out the show notes
because I have some freetrainings and free downloads
that you can sign up for, aswell as the link to access
MyLibroflow, a comprehensive,self-paced online childbirth
(35:52):
education course.
I created this coursespecifically for moms who don't
want to be told what to do,regardless of where you're
birthing or who you're birthingwith.
And I'd honestly love to teachyou everything that I know so
that you can prepare for anautonomous birth experience and
prepare to step into your roleas the leader of your birth
journey.
(36:13):
So, click to the show notes,check out all of those links,
and if you ever have anyquestions, feel free to DM me at
my mainbirth over on Instagram.
I definitely was intending to free birth.
That was my original intention.
And then around 25, 26 weeks, Ichanged my mind.
And I really just I had thethought of hiring a midwife and
I felt shame in doing that.
And that's when I started kindof questioning the whole free
(00:20):
birth rhetoric, you know what Imean?
I started being like, if I feelshame because I'm considering a
midwife, like that's howpowerful that whole community
is, and that's how big of aninfluence they have on women and
mothers.
And yeah, as soon as I had thattwinge of shame, I really it
made me a little bit angry, youknow, honestly.
(00:42):
I was like, this isn't right.
We can't shame people or yeah.
Angela (00:49):
So yeah, totally.
Like free birth is a greatidea, but when it becomes an
ideology and and like that likething where it's like, oh,
you're not cool if you don'tfree birth, and it's like, hold
on.
Kelli (01:00):
And you feel like you're failing if you choose to have
support there, and that's notthat's not right.
All women choose differentdifferent paths for a reason,
and I think the safety of thenervous system and the safety of
the woman is is the mostimportant thing.
And if that is a hospital forsomeone, then that's what that
is, you know.
Angela (01:19):
Yeah.
Kelli (01:20):
For me, since I had two previous experiences that were
so traumatic and kind of reallymedicalized unnecessarily, that
was kind of my reasoning forreally desiring that path.
And then I just I think womenare meant to birth with other
women.
I really believe that.
I feel like just having thatsupport.
(01:41):
And the midwife, I might Ilove, I loved my midwife this
time.
I actually heard her interviewwith Emily Nixon on that
podcast.
Her name is Gail.
And as soon as I listened tothat episode, I think it was
shortly after that, I decided tosee if she was available and if
she was willing to travel herebecause it's quite far for her.
So that's how that relationshipstarted.
(02:02):
And I think she came on around26 or 27 weeks.
So it was really just for mythird trimester, and it was
lovely having another woman carefor me during those times.
Angela (02:16):
I'm Angela, and I'm a certified birth photographer,
experienced dual la, childbirtheducator, and your host here on
the My Main Birth Podcast.
This is a space where we sharethe real life stories of
families and their unique birthexperiences in the beautiful
state of Maine.
From our state's biggesthospitals to birth center births
(02:36):
and home births, every birthstory deserves to be heard and
celebrated.
Whether you're a soon-to-bemom, a seasoned mother, or
simply interested in the worldof birth, these episodes are for
you.
Welcome back.
You're listening to episode 132of My Main Birth.
(02:56):
Today's birth story guest isKelly, and she is here to share
her three birth stories with us.
The first was at Mercy Hospitalwith the midwives about 11
years ago when they were knownas Batco of Midwives.
Her second was a home birth,but with a midwife who had
previously had a really badexperience with a breach birth.
(03:17):
And when Kelly's baby came inthe breach presentation, her
midwife became very nervous andwas not good support for her in
that moment.
Fortunately, the assistantmidwife that was present was
able to step in and provide someof the support that she was
needing in those moments, andthere were no complications.
And then Kelly shares about herthird birth experience, a home
(03:38):
birth with love and care fromher midwife Gail Eckey and her
good friend Emily Nixon ofEmbodied Women's Wisdom.
Emily is also in Wapio'syear-long birthkeeper cohort
with me this year, and she alsohas a wonderful podcast that I
highly recommend you check out.
It's called Soul Evolution: Embodied Women's Wisdom. (03:56):
undefined
All right.
Hi, Kelly.
Welcome to My Main Birth.
Hi.
So to get started, would youshare a little bit about you and
your family?
Kelli (04:12):
Yeah, so my name is Kelly.
I am a practicing clinicalherbalist here in Maine.
Um, we live in Auburn.
We're a family of six, we're ablended family.
So um my partner Ethan has an11-year-old daughter, and then I
have an 11-year-old son and aneight-year-old daughter, and
then we have a baby together.
(04:34):
So we're very, very busy.
We have a medicinal herb farmhere.
We do some homesteading, weraise meat.
Um we're just trying to build alittle community.
We're very fresh on this land.
We just got a nice sweet little22-acre plot and starting from
scratch.
Angela (04:54):
So amazing.
Yeah.
So now jumping into your birthstories, would you share a
little bit about how you foundout you were pregnant for the
first time and what yourthoughts were in choosing your
care then?
Yeah.
Kelli (05:10):
So when I found out I was pregnant with my son in 2013,
it was very unexpected.
I don't know if you know someof my history, but I come from a
background of addiction.
I spent many years on thestreets of Boston, kind of
hopeless and very, very sickwhen I was younger in my early
(05:34):
20s.
Um, that was a result of anopen heart surgery that kind of
had that cascade effect afterthat led me to that place.
And during that time, Iexperienced a pregnancy, and it
turns out it was an ectopicpregnancy.
So it wasn't a normal ectopic.
(05:55):
It was kind of like in themuscle of my uterus, so it
wasn't easy for them to just dowhat they would normally do.
So they almost were going to doa hysterectomy, actually.
And it was really scary.
And then kind of last minute,they found a doctor that was
able to um get it out withoutremoving my womb.
(06:18):
So that was a blessing.
But they did tell me that itwas very unlikely that I would
conceive um successfully orcarry like a successful
pregnancy.
So that's kind of what I had inmy mind.
So when I found out I waspregnant with Kai, my
11-year-old son, it was veryunexpected.
I was in denial, and I actuallydidn't I didn't poop for like
(06:40):
two weeks or something.
And I ended up going to urgentcare, and they were like, is
there any chance you'repregnant?
And I was like, No, no possibleway, you know.
But it turns out I was, and umwe were excited.
I, you know, I accepted it as ablessing and a gift from God,
and yeah, my first pregnancy wasamazing.
(07:03):
I I was practicing and teachingyoga at that time, so I was
very, very active and verystrong, and um I was really kind
of at the peak of my healthpost um, you know, getting well
after that experience with drugaddiction in my younger 20s, and
um it was just a reallybeautiful experience.
(07:24):
Yeah, and I knew I I was at thepoint in my life where I was
transitioning to everythingnatural.
I was coming off of 15 years ofmental health medication and um
things for anxiety and just allthese pharmacological drugs,
and I was in the process oftransitioning everything to all
natural anyway, and I I it hadbeen a few years since I took
(07:46):
any pharmaceuticals, so I knewthat I wanted a natural birth.
But during like I didn't knowwhat I didn't know, you know,
when I went with the midwivesthat practice out of the
hospital, and you know, youthink that because you're you
have a midwife, that it's morenatural, and that's just
oftentimes not the case, right?
(08:07):
So that birth was traumatic.
I mean, I had group E strep, sothey had me on Ivy antibiotics.
And since I had such a historywith like mental health, you
know, being in the environmentof the bright lights and that
(08:27):
kind of sterile environmentreally made my energy completely
collapse.
But I didn't, I wasn't aware ofit at the time, you know what I
mean?
Because I was so conditionedthat that was what normal was.
So it took three days.
Um, they did give me three daysbefore they gave me Pitocin,
but they ended up on that thirdday.
They tried the castor oil andlike the natural things.
(08:51):
Um in the hospital?
Was this in Maine?
This was in the hospital atMercy, which is something
different now.
But yes, it was when it wasbackhove.
Backhove midwives, exactly.
And they were sweet, sweetwomen, they were amazing
practitioners, you know, reallypassionate about what they did.
(09:11):
Um, but they were definitelymedically trained.
So the Pitocin was insane.
I had the Pitocin without anyother drugs, so it was fiery.
Angela (09:27):
Yeah, oh my goodness.
So did you go in like for aninduction or did like your water
break?
How did they how did thingswork?
My water break.
My water broke, yeah.
Kelli (09:36):
My water broke, and then because I had that group B
positive um test, they they hadme come in immediately, pretty
much.
Angela (09:44):
Yeah, so then you had three days, and then they
started the Potosin.
I feel like that's like almostlike you know, like they like
they do try to work with you,but it's like you're still like,
you know, like okay, you'vebeen in here for three days,
right?
Was that kind of like the vibe?
Kelli (09:59):
Yeah, totally.
Three days is longer than theynormally wait, I feel, you know.
Um yeah, but they started thePitocin, I think, around 9 a.m.
and he he was born at like 615.
So definitely a roller coaster.
Angela (10:16):
How was your postpartum with him?
Kelli (10:19):
It was really well supported.
My ex- my my kid's father, myex-husband Tucker, his moms were
there.
Uh, my mom was there, so I wasvery well cared for.
It was it was really beautiful.
I think it was before the timeof meal trains being a big
thing, and but I was well caredfor by my by all of the mothers.
Angela (10:42):
Yeah, oh, that's so helpful.
Yeah.
So now how did you find out youwere pregnant for the second
time?
And like, what were yourthoughts in choosing your care
the second time around?
Kelli (10:53):
The second time was 2016 when I became pregnant.
She was born in June of 2017,and that was a very intentional
conception.
Um, I think it was the firstmonth of trying.
I became pregnant, and I knewimmediately that I wanted a home
birth because of the experienceI had in the hospital.
(11:16):
And I feel like I had learned alittle bit more about my own
wounding and my own kind of umthe way being in a hospital
environment impacted me, youknow.
So I was more aware of that,and I chose a home birth and a
beautiful, sweet midwife here inMaine, and it was another
(11:36):
really beautiful, easefulpregnancy.
I do feel like definitely alittle bit more nausea, and like
physically, I was a little bitmore challenged with my daughter
that my my first one just feltso so easeful.
Um, so yeah, Aurora was alittle more challenging on my
physical health, but nothingtoo, nothing too complicated.
(12:00):
She was breach, and they theywere positive that they had
turned her around when I wentinto the birth portal.
My water broke on June 2nd, andthat actually she was about two
weeks early, and that was theJune 2nd was the day my father
(12:20):
passed.
So it was a really significantdate for me.
And I kind of before, like theweek before, I kind of had a
feeling it was gonna go likethat.
So that's kind of a reallybeautiful coincidence.
And my water broke, and thatlabor was going really smoothly.
I mean, I labored overnight,and yeah, I was in the water in
(12:44):
transition.
I remember things were reallystarting to heat up a little
bit, and I looked in the waterand there was a little piece of
poop floating in the water, andI was like, Oh no, I pooped.
And the midwife was just like,That's not yours.
I need to check you.
And then they discovered thatshe was coming out her butt
(13:05):
first, and then everyone kind ofwent into a panic, and it
really went kind of downhillfrom there, and they called the
paramedics.
It was too late to transfer me.
Thank goodness.
I'm so thankful that theycouldn't transfer me.
I was already pushing, she wasalready coming out.
So the paramedics came and theykind of just stayed in the
(13:28):
hallway and witnessed, theydidn't interfere at all.
They let the midwives kind ofdo what they were doing.
My midwife was very scared, andshe kind of looked at me and
said, This is out of my scope ofpractice, and she was very
afraid.
So the kind of her partnermidwife, the backup midwife,
came really came through reallyconfident and strong for me and
(13:51):
kind of took over the space andsupported me through that.
They positioned me in a reallyawful, awful position, and it
was really intense.
She came out and she was justvery limp and not breathing.
And I just remember like beingin total shock, just laying
(14:11):
there on the bed.
They hit me with a shot ofpitocin in my leg, and they were
just everyone was like, talk toyour baby, talk to your baby.
And I was in shock.
I was just like staring, justyou know, it was bizarre.
I feel like I kind of left mybody a little bit and was
witnessing from above, you know.
And she started breathingwithin within a minute, and
(14:36):
again, the paramedics didn'tinterfere.
They let the midwives take careof it, and then everything was
all right after that.
You know, they handed me mybaby and I went into a
postpartum period.
Um yeah, my postpartum, Ithink, was very, very stressful
(14:57):
because of that.
Like that set the tone for myearly postpartum, which was
unfortunate.
I ended up only being able tonurse her for about six weeks,
and it was really stressful.
And I was having supply issues,and she wasn't her gastro her
gastro system was just reallyupset, and she screamed a lot
(15:19):
for the first six weeks of herlife.
And I just remember thatparticular group of midwives
were really kind of aggressivewith me around the breastfeeding
thing, kind of making me feellike a failure for even
considering trying somethingelse, you know.
And I tried my friend's milk,and she just wasn't tolerating
(15:42):
breast milk very well.
And finally, at six weeks, Iordered um a goat milk formula
called Sammy's milk, which isvery minimal.
I think there's only like sixingredients or something, and
instantaneously, like literallyflipping a switch, she snapped
out of it as soon as I gave herthat.
(16:03):
So that was that experience,and it was very another very
kind of traumatic birth.
And I feel like it didn't haveto be.
Knowing what I know now, Iwould have felt safe birthing a
breach baby.
Um and this time around, whenseeking a midwife, that was kind
(16:25):
of a really big thing in mymind.
And I think at this point I waswilling to free birth if I if I
had to, and I didn't haveanyone to support me.
Angela (16:35):
So it's really hard because so when that happened,
that was before licensure tookplace in Maine.
So like that wouldn'ttechnically have prevented you,
but then again, it comes down tolike each midwife.
Like, what is each midwifecomfortable with?
And thank goodness that you'reyou know, her backup midwife
felt comfortable to you know,kind of step in and be that so
you know, stronger supportperson for you in that moment
(16:57):
when you you needed, you know,some calm, right?
Kelli (17:00):
Totally, yeah.
She she was very just likefierce and um steady, and she
was very competent and made mefeel safe for sure.
Angela (17:11):
Yeah, that can make all the difference, really, in those
moments.
Kelli (17:15):
Yeah, you can tell when someone trusts the birth
process, you know.
Angela (17:21):
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah, so now how did you findout you were pregnant now for
the third time?
Fast forwarding a little bit toyour most recent birth, and
yeah, what were your thoughtsreally in choosing your care?
Kelli (17:36):
Tula, Tula is 14 months, she's just about 14 months, and
I thought I was done havingbabies.
I am 41, and I had I mean, Iguess I was toying with the idea
in my mind a little bit, but Ireally, I really thought I I
thought I was done.
(17:57):
So she was a surprise, althoughI do think I called her in,
even though she was a surprise,you know.
Um I remember actually I wasjust telling this story to my
students the other day.
I was I found out I waspregnant, I think it was
December 5th of 2023.
(18:19):
And a few weeks prior to that,I was on my way to a breath work
session with Tanya Zuckerman.
I don't know if you're familiarwith her, her work is amazing.
So I was on my way to thisprivate breath work session, and
as I was driving there, I justgot this like direct line of
communication from this babythat was just like, I'm coming
(18:41):
in.
And it was just like that.
That's all it was.
It wasn't, it didn't go furtherthan that.
And I was just like, oh, allright, like maybe there's
something here.
And then I went into thatbreath work session, and I
remember as I was breathing, mywomb was like glowing and light,
like just like lit up, and allof the energy of my breath was
(19:03):
circulating through my womb.
And it, I literally feel likethat's the moment that I became
pregnant almost.
It was because when I thinkabout the timeline of when I
found out and when I missed myperiod, it lines up with that
date, like and it was just wildto think that you know what I
mean.
That communication is so open.
(19:24):
So yeah, I think before I foundout, I already kind of knew,
and yeah, I was not overjoyed,shall we say?
And I feel like it's hard forwomen to express when they're
not thrilled to be pregnant.
(19:44):
Like we we feel a lot of shamein saying that.
Um yeah, and there's a lot ofshame.
And I actually I had a reallybig year planned.
I was teaching at these reallybig events.
Ethan and I were going to SouthAmerica for our 40th birthday.
Like, we had all of thesereally big things planned, and I
(20:06):
was throwing a fit.
I was mad, you know.
Um, yeah, so the firsttrimester, I was kind of just
surrendering to it and cancelingeverything, and just thinking
about, okay, so there's a forkin the road, and I'm actually
going this way, not this way.
And I just knew that she was, Ijust knew like she told me she
(20:30):
was coming.
So I knew that it was meant tobe, and I was supposed to, I was
supposed to become a mother toa baby again and start kind of
start all over.
Yeah.
Gosh, how special.
Yeah.
And we have a really special,it's my relationship with her is
different, I think, because I'm10 years older than I was the
(20:54):
first time I had a child.
And I think it was a little bitharder on my body physically,
but from a mental emotionalperspective, I am so like so
much more solid in who I am as awoman, and really solid in my
values, and my nervous system ismore grounded and stabilized.
And I just, it's a wholedifferent experience parent
(21:16):
parenting, like a small one inthis phase of life.
Yeah.
Angela (21:22):
Yeah, just like the difference in your mindset, like
versus, you know, obviouslyit's special at any age, but
like it's kind of like anotherlevel when you you know have
kids when you're a little older.
Kelli (21:32):
Yeah, and you've made some mistakes, so you've already
kind of learned and grownthrough those mistakes.
And yeah, my pregnancy was hardthis time.
Angela (21:43):
How were things looking like as your pregnancy like
progressed?
Yeah, over the months.
Kelli (21:47):
Yeah, it was harder on my body physically.
I feel like I gained a lot ofweight really fast before I even
like looked like I waspregnant, and it was really
uncomfortable for me.
Uh, giving up my body again,you know, because we sacrifice
our our bodies, and I think thatpart was a little bit harder
for me.
(22:07):
I I we were preparing to move,we we packed up our lives and
moved and bought this land andstarted building this house.
So it was just a really big,big year of transition.
So it was it was challenging.
I went and uh one really coolthing that I got to do while I
was very pregnant was I went tothe Matriarch Rising Festival
(22:31):
down in North Carolina, and Ihad the opportunity to vend my
apothecary there.
So I was there, I was verypregnant, nine months pregnant,
took a road trip down and took alot out of me when I got back.
I had like a sciatica flare-up,and the drive was intense.
But that was a really beautifulexperience being in that energy
(22:53):
with a big belly and beingpregnant like that, and being
around a lot of women that arejust honoring the mother.
That was really beautiful.
And then I came back from that,and we immediately, like, as
soon as I got back, we moved outof that house and without a
home to move into.
Really, we moved to the landand into a little camper and our
(23:18):
geodesic dome with three kidsand a bunch of animals, and um,
just in the peak of summer, itwas it was really, really
intense and really challenging.
That last month of my pregnancywas July, and it was so hot
that summer, and I didn't havean air-conditioned space to
(23:39):
exist in, and I was really angryat that point.
And yeah, she was born in thedome off-grid.
Angela (23:52):
Oh, so what were your thoughts?
I guess to back up just alittle bit, what were your
thoughts like when choosing yourcare this time around?
Were you like toying with theidea like a free birth at all
this time?
And then like, how did thatkind of evolve for you?
Kelli (24:05):
I definitely was intending to free birth, that
was my original intention.
And then around 25-26 weeks, Ichanged my mind and I really
just I had the thought of hiringa midwife, and I felt shame in
doing that.
And that's when I started kindof questioning the whole free
(24:26):
birth rhetoric, you know what Imean?
I started being like, if I feelshame because I'm considering a
midwife, like that's howpowerful that whole community
is, and that's how big of aninfluence they have on women and
mothers.
And yeah, as soon as I had thattwinge of shame, I really it
made me a little bit angry, youknow, honestly.
Angela (24:48):
I was like, this isn't right, we can't shame people or
yeah, so yeah, totally like freebirth is a great idea, but when
it becomes an ideology and andlike that like thing where it's
like, oh, you're not cool if youdon't free birth, then it's
like hold on.
Kelli (25:05):
And you feel like you're failing if you choose to have
support there, and that's notthat's not right.
All women choose differentdifferent paths for a reason,
and I think the safety of thenervous system and the safety of
the woman is is the mostimportant thing.
And if that is a hospital forsomeone, then that's what that
is, you know.
Yeah, for me, since I had twoprevious experiences that were
(25:28):
so traumatic and kind of reallymedicalized unnecessarily, that
was kind of my reasoning forreally desiring that path.
And then I just I think womenare meant to birth with other
women.
I really believe that.
I feel like just having thatsupport.
And the midwife, I might Ilove, I loved my midwife this
(25:51):
time.
I actually heard her interviewwith Emily Nixon on that
podcast.
Her name is Gail.
And as soon as I listened tothat episode, I think it was
shortly after that I decided tosee if she was available and if
she was willing to travel herebecause it's quite far for her.
So that's how that relationshipstarted.
And I think she came on around26 or 27 weeks.
(26:11):
So it was really just for mythird trimester, and it was
lovely having another woman carefor me during those times.
And postpartum, Emily Nixon,the birth advocate, embodied wit
women's wisdom now.
She changed her name, but Idon't know how I would have
gotten through that time withouther.
(26:32):
She was just such a valuable,beautiful support for me through
my pregnancy and especiallythose postpartum weeks.
Like she really, it was so, sospecial.
And I can't, I give her so muchpraise for for that because
women really need that.
There's something that mencan't provide, you know.
(26:53):
And I don't think they're meantto.
The father and the man isn'tisn't meant to embody certain
energies.
They can't.
We can't expect them to show upin certain ways.
That's something only a womancan do.
Angela (27:05):
So there's different roles for sure.
Kelli (27:07):
Yeah, so I really believe that wholeheartedly.
And I really my wish is for allwomen to to really everyone
puts so much focus on the birth,the birth, and preparing for
the birth, which is just such aminuscule moment.
And postpartum, I think,really, really needs planning.
And I really encourage anyonewho is pregnant to really take
(27:30):
that into consideration.
Yes.
Angela (27:33):
It can be easy to get wrapped up with the the birth,
which is the big event, butdefinitely don't forget about
postpartum.
Kelli (27:39):
Yeah.
My birth with Tula was a areclamation.
Her birth was six hours.
It was fast and fierce andintense and just so beautiful.
And I remember every I rememberevery moment of it.
Angela (27:55):
Would you share any more details that are sticking out
to you about how it all kind ofunfolded?
Yeah.
Kelli (28:02):
My water broke around 8 p.m.
the night before, but it wasleaky.
It wasn't like a fast break allat once.
So I knew it was happening.
I knew I was kind of going intothat space.
And the next morning, the kidswere here.
We got them out the door to goto summer camp, and things
(28:23):
progressed really quickly.
I remember like between 9 and10, I kind of set up my space
and isolated myself and just wasin it.
And it was manageable then.
And then I think around 11:30or noon, I called Emily and I
was like, things are reallystarting to amp up.
(28:44):
I think I need you.
And she only lives five minutesdown the road.
So she got here pretty quickly.
And then I called Gail.
She was kind of the last one Icalled.
And she got here about 30minutes before Tula was born.
And I remember like transitionand going into that space.
I think I was, I kept, I was indenial that it was happening so
(29:08):
fast because I had two longerlabors.
So the fact that this was sofast, I think it wasn't
registering for me.
So I called her really late andI didn't believe that it was
happening so quickly.
I was like, oh, maybe like 8p.m.
tonight, you know.
And it happened, it happenedfast.
And I remember during one big,like really big powerful
(29:31):
contraction, I was in the water,and you know, I just I was
still in denial at that point.
And I was like, how can I be inthis much pain?
Because it's, you know,pleasure, a pleasureful birth is
is wonderful for some people,but that's just not the reality
for most people.
And I think that surrenderingto the pain and going through
(29:52):
that portal of pain is a bigpart of the transformation
process.
But I remember Gail said to me,like, reach down and And just
you know, because I washands-off, I didn't want any
checks or anything like that.
I just wanted a witness andsomeone there in case of
emergency.
Um, just a wise woman to bepresent.
And I felt down and I stuck myfinger in, and I felt her head,
(30:16):
and I was just like, Oh, okay,like you know, I'm almost there.
And then it was a couple bigpushes, and she was she was out.
It was it was wild.
And Ethan was just like steady,just holding space, really
grounded masculine energy thatfelt really safe.
(30:38):
And she came out, she had afull head of hair.
I kind of I saw her in mydreams like two weeks before, so
I feel like I knew exactly whatshe looked like, and I wasn't
surprised at all.
I didn't know that it was agirl until maybe you know, 30
seconds or so after I had her inmy arms.
(30:58):
That's when I looked and sawthat it was a girl.
Yeah, it was really special.
I'm thankful that I had that Ihad another opportunity to have
that experience after two prettyhard, harder experiences.
Angela (31:18):
Oh, yeah, it's really just those moments when you
bring your baby to your chest,and especially after you know,
claiming that power that, youknow, maybe it was taken in
some, you know, the previousbirths, it's just that, yeah,
that feeling is just so amazing.
Kelli (31:33):
Yeah, it was really special.
And then postpartum, I mean, wedidn't have running water, like
it was challeng, it waschallenging, but I did it.
I had a lot of support.
I had a lot of support with thekids.
Their dad really came throughand had them a little bit extra
during those weeks, and it'sbeen really special to witness
(31:55):
their relationship with her too.
Angela (31:58):
Yeah.
Yeah, that's amazing.
Now, as a final question, ifyou were to give advice to
someone who's expecting or evennew parents, what's one of the
biggest things that you'd wantto share?
Kelli (32:14):
You don't need to buy everything that they try and
sell you for new parents.
I feel like that's anotherprogression that I see is the
first time they you buy all ofthis stuff, all of this extra
stuff for diaper like wipewarmers and all of these
different things, and youliterally end up not using any
of it.
(32:34):
So very minimal.
Um trust yourself, it's yourbaby, it's not your parents, or
like it's not your family.
And I feel like it's not thedoctors, yeah.
It's not the doctors, it'ssomething that a lot of people
struggle with, I think, is likeclaiming that sovereignty and
(32:57):
radical responsibility for theirown experience.
And I feel like that's reallywhat it's about, you know, not
outsourcing your power formaking decisions.
Angela (33:09):
Yeah, that is so true.
And yeah, buying all this stuffis like definitely a
progression you go through fromlike the first babies to like
the third ones.
Like, you really, you know,maybe like a couple towels.
Kelli (33:19):
Yeah, some blankets, right?
Not much.
All hand-me-downs at thispoint, you know.
You learn that it's reallysilly to be buying new clothes
all the time when they're out ofthem in three to six months.
Yeah.
Angela (33:34):
Seriously, it goes so fast.
Yeah.
So, do you want to share alittle bit about your business
and your company?
Kelli (33:44):
Sure.
I can share a little bit.
Um, I'm a clinical practicingherbalist, so I have a like
private client practice where Isupport people with herbs and
nourishment.
And I run an herbalism schoolhere on our land.
And we have an apothecarybusiness.
I've been doing this for theapothecary business, it is
(34:07):
around eight years old now, andI've been working with plants as
medicine for about 12 yearsnow, and it's definitely a path
that saved my life, as Imentioned, where I come from.
And that kind of is how I endedup here.
I was looking for natural, safeways to support mental health
(34:28):
when I was transitioning off ofmedication, and here I am you
know, 12, 13 years later, andit's it's just it's very
fulfilling work.
It's like soul work, it's mymedicine, you know.
Yeah.
Angela (34:47):
Yeah, I love that.
So, what's your website?
Kelli (34:50):
We have two websites.
The product website isearthspiralapothecary.com and
the community site where I sharemy school.
I have an upcoming onlinewomen's membership community
that's going to be focused onlike alchemy and kind of the
more psycho-spiritual side ofworking with plants.
And all of that information ison earthspiral community.com.
(35:13):
Very cool.
Angela (35:14):
I will link both of those in the show notes.
And yeah, thank you so much,Kelly, for taking the time to
chat with me today and shareyour stories.
Kelli (35:22):
Thanks.
This was lovely.
I haven't I haven't told Tula'sstory like this yet.
So thank you for theopportunity.
Angela (35:29):
Before you go, I just want to remind you, I have a ton
of resources for pregnancy andbirth.
If you're pregnant, whetheryou're a first-time mom or if
this is your fifth baby, I wantyou to check out the show notes
because I have some freetrainings and free downloads
that you can sign up for, aswell as the link to access
MyLibroflow, a comprehensive,self-paced online childbirth
(35:52):
education course.
I created this coursespecifically for moms who don't
want to be told what to do,regardless of where you're
birthing or who you're birthingwith.
And I'd honestly love to teachyou everything that I know so
that you can prepare for anautonomous birth experience and
prepare to step into your roleas the leader of your birth
journey.
(36:13):
So, click to the show notes,check out all of those links,
and if you ever have anyquestions, feel free to DM me at
my mainbirth over on Instagram.
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