November 6, 2025 • 40 mins
Are you a soon to be mom, a seasoned mother, or simply interested in the world of birth? You’re in the right place!
In this episode, we discuss:
- Molly's second birth story - check out episode 17 of MyMaine Birth to hear the first part of her story!
- Mercy Hospital Birth Story
- The perks of being pregnant during the summer in Maine
- Midwifery care from nurse midwives
- ….and a whole lot more!
Additional Resources you’ll LOVE…
If you are ready to prepare for an autonomous birth experience, where you’re respected as the authority over your body and your baby… regardless of where you plan on birthing -
CLICK HERE for 10% off the MyAutonomous Birth self-paced, online course!
Not sure where to start? I’ve got you covered! Check out my FREE resource, 37 Questions to Ask Your Care Provider. Whether you’re interviewing new providers or have already established care, this FREE resource offers guidance on important topics to discuss with your provider.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Molly (00:00):
Yeah, it was it was great.
It was really everything Iwanted.
I really just wanted a peacefuland straightforward birth, I
guess.
I really didn't want to tear.
I I really wanted her to comeout just fine.
And I I got all of that.
(00:21):
And I got to use the birth tub.
So all around it was a it feltvery successful and just so
good.
I was so happy.
Angela (00:33):
I'm Angela, and I'm a certified birth photographer,
experienced duela, childbirtheducator, and your host here on
the My Main Birth podcast.
This is a space where we sharethe real life stories of
families and their unique birthexperiences in the beautiful
state of Maine.
From our state's biggesthospitals, the birth center
births and home births, everybirth story deserves to be heard
(00:57):
and celebrated.
Whether you're a soon-to-bemom, a seasoned mother, or
simply interested in the worldof birth, these episodes are for
you.
Welcome back.
You're listening to episode 134of My Main Birth.
For these next few episodes,I'm gonna be doing something
that I think is really fun.
(01:18):
And I'm gonna be sharing thestories of women who have
already been guests on thepodcast, but have new birth
stories to share.
And to get us started, today'sbirth story guest is Molly.
Molly shared her first birthstory back in episode 17.
So go check that out to hearthe first part of her story.
And she is back today to shareall about her second birth,
(01:42):
which was at Mercy Hospital inPortland.
Alright.
Hi Molly, welcome back to mymain birth.
Hi.
So you shared your first birthstory back in episode 17, which
was a little while ago.
So for anyone that doesn'tknow, would you start by sharing
a little bit about you and yourfamily?
Molly (02:03):
So my name is Molly.
Uh, my husband's name is Zach.
Our son, who's two and a half,his name is Todd.
Uh, we just welcomed Jane abouttwo months ago.
And we also have a cat namedAndy.
Angela (02:20):
Amazing.
Now, for anyone that wants tohear your first birth story, you
can go back and listen to thatin episode 17 of the podcast.
And now to talk about yoursecond birth story, would you
share a little bit about how youfound out you were pregnant for
the second time and what yourthoughts were in choosing your
(02:40):
care going into it the secondtime?
Molly (02:43):
So we found out we were having Jane in late December.
Um, we were actually we wereplanning on trying to start
having a second kid, um, maybein like January or February, and
then late December came aroundand I hadn't had my period in a
(03:05):
little while.
So I was like, hmm, I shouldprobably check.
I took a test and it wasnegative.
And then a couple weeks later,it's it still hadn't arrived.
And I was like, hmm, you know,I'm gonna take another one.
So I think it was actually NewYear's Eve.
I took one and it it was verypositive.
So that was exciting for us.
We were we were definitelyready.
It came a little sooner than weexpected, but we were we were
(03:28):
prepared.
So that was very exciting news.
And choosing care was the firstdecision.
We, you know, it was the firstthing we had to think about when
we found out with my first.
I had a home birth, um, and itwas it was a wonderful
experience, but it for anyonewho goes goes back and listens
(03:50):
to the episode, it was a littlechaotic.
It was a very fast labor, and Ihad to transfer after birth
because my son had shoulderdystocia and his arm was
injured, and I also had a prettysevere tear.
So going into this one, kind ofthe first decision was do I
(04:11):
want to have another home birth?
And I put a lot of thought intoit.
It was a really hard decisionto make because I loved my
midwife.
Um, she was incredible.
Her name was Ariel Bernstein ofum Sacco River Midwifery, and
she was just incredible.
So so much of me just wanted towork with her again.
(04:32):
But I think actually when I gotpregnant, she wasn't, I'm not
sure if she was even back inMaine, because I I think she
might have been finishing hermaster's degree.
So once I found out that shemight not even be around, I was
thinking more like, do I want tohave a home birth with someone
else?
And ultimately I decided Ididn't want to.
(04:55):
And the main reason was becausetransferring was rough, it was
really difficult.
It didn't ruin the experienceat all, but it was very
stressful.
And I I wanted to seriouslyconsider how much of a risk
there was that I would have totransfer in.
And the thing that made me themost nervous was if I had a home
(05:20):
birth and the baby was okay,but I needed stitches again that
I couldn't, you know, that werelike very serious and couldn't
be done at home, thinking abouthaving to bring a perfectly fine
baby to the hospital, like whenI needed something was a little
stressful, having to beseparated.
So then I decided afterthinking about that that I
(05:41):
didn't want to do a home birthagain, but I did really want to
work with midwives.
So I started looking intomidwives that worked in hospital
settings.
I have a friend who had areally good experience at Mercy
working with the Mercy midwives.
So I checked and they werecovered by my insurance, and I
decided to go with them.
Angela (06:02):
Awesome.
Yeah.
And so how are yourappointments?
Um, like once you started goingin, how did that look?
Molly (06:08):
The appointments were um great, definitely not as uh like
personal as with my firstmidwife, who like the
appointments were you know longand we often just ended up like
chatting and getting to knoweach other on you know a more
personal level.
Mercy, they were you know likefaster, more like a typical
(06:30):
doctor's appointment.
You know, they're they're busy,they've got a lot of people,
and but they were good.
The midwives were amazing.
Oh, bless you.
Bless you.
Oh, three.
Wow.
Um, they really uh they theytook you know my opinions into
(06:51):
consideration and were neverjudgmental about decisions I
made.
Um it did feel more holisticthan like an OB.
With my with my first, I saw anOB for the first 20 weeks and
then switched over and startedplanning a home birth.
And so it it it was better thanmy experience with an OB, not
(07:13):
quite as personal as myexperience with a home birth
midwife, but somewhere in themiddle that I was happy with.
Yeah.
And I I did most of the basictests and uh stuff with them.
I did I got one extraultrasound this time late in
(07:33):
pregnancy, I think at like 37weeks, just to get a size
estimate.
Because my first was a largebaby, he was nine pounds, six
ounces, and they wanted like asize estimate for her just to
maybe kind of gauge what therisk of another shoulder
(07:55):
dystocia was.
Obviously, there's other riskfactors besides sides, size, but
that's kind of one thing theywere looking for.
And ultimately, like I don'tthink the last ultrasound was
really necessary because I Ikind of knew what I wanted to do
either way, and that was justyou know an attempt at a vaginal
birth.
Angela (08:13):
Were they recommending a cesarean because of your the
way that your first birth went?
Molly (08:18):
They didn't recommend one, they did they they said it
was an option.
They were like, you know, wecan offer like an elective if
that's more what you're lookingfor.
Um, and I wasn't, I really didwant to try uh vaginal
unmedicated again.
And they they respected that.
And I think they the whole timethey kind of were just talking
(08:41):
to me about like you know, my mypersonal comfort with the
risks, and I decided I I thoughtit was worth trying.
I definitely didn't want anelective C-section if if it
wasn't really necessary.
So I I decided to go for avaginal birth, and they
respected that choice and werewere game to try and help me get
(09:05):
it.
So I appreciated that.
Angela (09:07):
Yeah, oh that's so helpful.
And like they can just like layout all the options and like
give you like the all of theoptions and then let you choose
and then respect that.
Like that's that's so good.
So what were your how were youdoing like emotionally like with
this pregnancy, considering howyour first birth went?
Like, were you having a lot ofanxiety about like the shoulder
(09:30):
dystocia or other things as likeyour pregnancy progressed?
Molly (09:34):
Somewhat, yeah.
With my first, I had suchlittle fear going in.
Um, I think I was justextremely optimistic and
excited.
This time I was still mostlyoptimistic and excited, but of
course, I I had more of an ideaof like, you know, things that
can go wrong, things that cancomplicate birth.
(09:56):
And um, so yeah, I I was alittle bit worried.
I knew it was probably prettylikely this baby would also be
on the larger side.
So I and I was also a little,well, pretty worried about um
tearing really bad again,because I think there was also
an increased risk of that aswell, since it happened the
first time.
(10:16):
Um so those were my my biggestfears for sure was like another
really bad shoulder dystocia,another really bad tear.
So I did want to, I wanted totry to find any way to like
slightly prepare, both you know,mentally and physically.
Mentally, I think I kind ofjust had to just not overthink
(10:37):
it too much, not assume it wasgoing to happen, be mentally
prepared if it did happen, youknow, everything turned out okay
with my son.
There's no reason it wouldn't,you know, turn out okay again.
Physically, I wanted toprepare, um, just you know,
finding exercises or stretch tohelp get the baby in a really
(11:00):
good position, and also work onlike my scar tissue to try to
like you know, see if I couldlike soften it ahead of time.
Uh, I ended up doing pelvicfloor therapy in my second and
third trimesters.
With my first, I did pelvicfloor therapy postpartum only.
(11:24):
This time I thought it might behelpful ahead of time, and it
really was.
My therapist worked with me onall sorts of different positions
and kind of explaining to mehow you know the baby moves
through your pelvis anddifferent positions that can
help like help them drop andthen help them move their
(11:45):
shoulders through and then helpyou push.
That was all extremely helpful.
And she also explained to mehow to use like a pelvic wand to
do like perennial massage, um,which I think also really helped
me.
So that that was completelyworth it.
I I loved that.
And I wish I'd I'd wish I'ddone it prenatally the first
time too.
I just didn't really know itwas a thing back then.
Angela (12:10):
Yeah, definitely.
That can be so helpful to do,like in preparing for birth,
too, for sure.
That's awesome that you're ableto do that.
So, how else were you feelinglike physically as your
pregnancy progressed?
Molly (12:21):
Mostly this this pregnancy was very smooth.
I had a toddler to keep up withthis time, so there was a lot
less, a lot less rest.
Uh, but in some ways that wasgood.
I think it was helpful to beactive.
My third trimester was in themiddle of summer, so that was
that was the the tough part,probably, is once things got
really hot and I was huge andreally tired.
(12:45):
That was the biggest struggle,I'd say.
And both with my first and andwith Jane, I had really bad rib
pain, especially on my rightside.
I don't really know why, but myribs just do not want to make
this the space at the end, Iguess.
So that was also really toughfor the last like six weeks.
(13:05):
I was I was in a bit of painthere.
But the the one good thingabout being pregnant in the
summer, as long as you live nearwater, is just swimming all the
time.
I went to the beach so much,and the water was really one of
the only things that relievedthe rib pain, and it just felt
so good.
So that that was really nice.
Angela (13:28):
Oh, awesome.
That that must have helped withlike the toddler too, to like
go just go to the beach with himand keep him busy and you can,
you know, swim and yeah, thebeach is amazing for toddlers
because it's it's he just willchill, you know.
Molly (13:44):
Like it's so hard to get toddlers to just chill, but he
he loves the beach and he's he'sstill now in November asking to
uh go to the beach all thetime.
I'm like, yeah, the next nextyear he loves the beach.
Angela (13:58):
Oh, that's so fun! Awesome.
So now how were those finalweeks and then days looking like
leading up to when your laborstarted?
Molly (14:10):
The last uh few weeks were mentally tough.
I think the first time I wasreally in no rush to give birth.
I think part of me expected togo to like 42 weeks, and I I was
like okay with that.
I didn't go that long, but thistime by the time you know 37,
(14:32):
38 weeks hit, I was I felt done.
I I was so exhausted and soready for her to be here.
I I think every day I was justyou know praying a little bit,
like maybe today's the day,maybe it's today.
There was one day where we werewe were gonna get takeout and
we were deciding what to get.
And I said, we need to get uhwe need to get Thai food, we
(14:55):
need to get spicy fried rice,because that's like that's what
I ate right before I had myfirst.
So I was like, we gotta getspicy fried rice, we gotta get
this baby out.
So we had that for dinner.
The next day I woke up and Ihad this huge to-do list.
Like, I need to clean this, Ineed to meal prep this.
I had so much stuff to do, andI was so cranky.
(15:18):
Um, and I'd I was writing out,I was finishing my to-do list
for the day, and the last thingI put on was like, pack birth
bag.
Like, I still hadn't done that.
And then right as I finishedtyping that, my water broke.
I was like, Oh, oh, there itis.
Um and I my husband had takenmy son out on a little bike ride
(15:42):
around the neighborhood, and Itexted him and just said, you
know, no rush.
I think my water did just breakthough.
Um so he came back and uh it itdefinitely kept kept coming in
big gushes.
So I I was like, wow, I guesstoday's the day.
And I was so relieved.
(16:03):
Um it was about I think it wasabout 10 in the morning.
So I was I was happy aboutthat.
Um because one of my one of thethings that was stressing me
out the most was having to leavefor the hospital and leave my
son at home.
Um I'd never spent, you know, anight away from him before, or
(16:29):
really very much time during theday.
I'm a stay-at-home mom, so I'mwith him all the time and like
we co-sleep.
So it was, you know, I was verynervous.
I didn't want to have to justleave in the middle of the
night.
I wasn't really sure if itwould be better if I left when
he was asleep and he didn't evenknow, or but I didn't want him
to wake up without me.
So it was I was like, okay,it's daytime.
(16:51):
He's here.
I can like say a propergoodbye.
Um our plan, the whole yeah, Iknow.
I was I was excited that Icould say goodbye to him.
Angela (17:03):
And you probably rearranged your to-do list and
put pack the birth bag at thetop of the list, right?
Molly (17:10):
Yeah, that was at the top, and I had to go do it right
away.
So after my water broke, thatwas the first thing I did was
start was start packing and uhget my son back in and kind of
tell him, like, oh, we're we'reabout to head out.
I had to call my mom.
She was the one who was gonnastay with my my son.
It took a little while to getin touch with her.
(17:32):
She was she was taking a walkon the beach, but I uh uh
luckily she there was there wasplenty of time.
I was nervous though because myfirst came so quickly that I
was was like, I gotta get there.
Like, I gotta get there, youknow, before before the baby
comes.
But I also wanted to get to thehospital before things got
(17:53):
super intense because I reallywanted to use their birth tubs.
I also didn't want to driveduring really bad contractions.
We live like very, very closeto Mercy, so it it was only like
a five-minute drive, but I hadlike two contractions on the car
ride and they were unpleasant.
So I'm I don't know how peoplemake it for like long car car
(18:16):
rides to the hospital whenthey're in labor.
Angela (18:18):
Dad you had been having like consistent contractions, or
were they still kind of likeirregular when you were able to
like like make your way in?
Molly (18:27):
Yeah.
So water broke at 10.
I wasn't really having anycontractions until closer to
like 12:30.
And then I started noticingthem, and they were relatively
consistent.
So at that point, I called mymidwife and was like, Yeah, I'm
I'm feeling something.
(18:48):
Um, and she said we could comeinto the office and just get
checked out, and then she would,you know, let us know, like,
oh, you can go home for a whileor you can just go to the birth
center.
So we went to the office.
The contractions were feelingstronger.
I had two in the car that werelike, oh, okay, this is this is
something.
She uh checked me out,confirmed it was amniotic fluid,
(19:13):
did a cervical check, and I wassix centimeters.
So she was like, Yep, go to thebirth center.
I'll see you later.
So I was super happy aboutthat.
We I was still able to walk, itwasn't super uncomfortable.
So we were we walked over andthey got me all checked in.
Uh, they they let me know aheadof time that they they like to
(19:34):
do like a stress test when youfirst get there for like 20
minutes or so.
I was okay with that.
So they put the little likebelt thing around my belly um to
follow contractions, I guess,and check the heart rate of of
the baby and stuff.
And the nurses were like hypingme up because I was I was still
(19:56):
pretty relaxed and just liketalking, filling out forms.
And uh one of them was like, Ohmy god, like are you are you
feeling those?
Like those are bigcontractions.
I was like, uh, it's not so badyet.
So that made me feel great.
I was like, nice, I'm strong,I'm doing good.
And everything seemed normal.
So they took the belt thingoff.
And at that point, I was kindof just, you know, feeling out
(20:20):
the contractions.
They weren't they weren't superstrong yet.
I bounced on the ball.
My midwife came in and chattedwith us for a while, just like,
you know, we I think we would wejust talked about like my last
birth and just chatted uh inbetween contractions, and that
was that was nice.
And then let's see, I think theby that point it was like maybe
(20:46):
two, and then at some point thecontractions started, they were
getting like a lot moreintense, and the birth ball
wasn't comfortable anymore.
And the nurse asked if I wantedto use the birth tub, and I
don't know why, but for somereason I hesitated and I was
like, I don't know, I don't knowif I want to commit to the
birth tub right now.
But then I was like, wait, no,I I really want the birth tub.
(21:09):
I didn't get to use one for myfirst because everything was
like way too fast, and we didn'thave time to fill it or set it
up or anything.
So I really, really wanted thatfor this one.
The the midwives did say likeit wasn't, I I wasn't gonna give
birth in the tub just becauseof the shoulder dystocia risk.
But I I definitely wanted tolabor in the tub for a while, so
(21:32):
they filled it up and I got inand it it was amazing.
Like, I I wish everyone got touse one because it's it's so
nice, especially for those kindof like middle level control,
like but they're like, you know,you're feeling it.
It's so good for that chunk oftime.
(21:52):
It's kind of like floatedaround a little, and it it was
so soothing and nice.
I was just able to chill inthere for a while.
Angela (22:01):
Yeah, that weightlessness.
Molly (22:02):
Yeah, it feels so good.
It was it was just like youknow, the relief of swimming in
the ocean when I was superpregnant, it just it felt great
and it really helped my back,and it was just amazing.
And then once the contractionsgot like really intense, the the
tub wasn't like comfortableanymore.
(22:22):
There there hit a point where Iwas like, I can't get in the
right positions anymore, I'mready to get out.
And so at that point, I I gotout and went over to the bed,
and it was it was like the samewith my first.
Once things got really intense,I was just like on my hands and
knees in bed, and that was justwhat felt right.
(22:44):
And I did the same thing thistime.
The hospital bed was actuallykind of awesome for it because
it goes at that angle, so Icould be more on my elbows
instead of having to like takethe weight on my wrist, so that
was kind of cool too.
I liked that, and yeah, so Igot on my hands and knees,
getting more and more intense.
(23:04):
I do remember at certain pointsbeing like a little bothered
that it was daylight, beinglike, it's it's so bright, like
I wish I was in the dark, and II I almost asked to like shut
the curtains, but then I I kindof just forgot, I guess.
I was I just kept poweringthrough.
Like hard to communicate inthat headspace, right?
(23:25):
For sure.
It's it's like and it was thesame with my first.
I didn't want to talk toanyone, I just was like really
in my own head.
My first birth was so like itfelt like a different world.
I I would say that was probablylike one of the bigger
differences between home andhospital.
(23:47):
In the hospital, I I I did feelmore like aware.
And I almost think it it was alittle more like like I felt the
contractions more.
I felt a little less kind of inlike labor land.
I don't really know if it'sbecause it was like the hospital
versus my house or if it waspartially just because it was
like daytime and I was like moreawake.
(24:07):
It was like the middle of theday.
So I don't know, it was it wasa it was slightly different.
I I felt more aware of everycontraction, I could kind of
like feel it a little morestrongly.
In some ways, that was almostlike helpful because I I feel
like I could move intopositions, I could like kind of
feel what position I needed,maybe a little better.
(24:28):
That could have also just beenfrom like, you know, it was my
second time giving birth.
I was like a little moreexperienced, and but yeah, so I
I I could feel things like morestrongly.
I felt a little more aware, butI still really didn't want to
talk to anyone.
Um I wasn't like responding,you know, super well, but
luckily there didn't need to bethat much communication.
(24:51):
Yeah, and I the the strongerthings got, I just like
vocalized more and more.
That was one of my worriesabout birthing in the hospital
was that I I would feelself-conscious and like wouldn't
be able to like you knowvocalize the way I needed to or
do what I needed to do, butluckily everything was so I just
(25:14):
forgot everyone was therepretty much.
I didn't care.
Awesome.
So that was good.
I've heard people talk abouttheir experiences where like,
you know, a nurse tells them tolike be quiet or like not scream
or something.
That's like that's so wrong tome.
Like you need to, you reallyneed to make the sounds you need
to make.
And luckily, um, like my nurseswere amazing and were just
(25:37):
like, you're incredible, likeyou're doing a great job.
They didn't, you know, theydidn't chastise me at all for
yelling and making noise.
So that was great.
And yeah, everything was goingwell, contractions were back to
back, and I I was handling itpretty well.
(25:58):
And then the midwife came in II think after not too long after
I got out of the birthtubbecause things were moving
quickly.
So she was there uh rooting forme and keeping an eye on
things.
And then when I started Istarted crowning the baby was
(26:18):
crowning.
And for me, that's all that'sthe most like painful part, like
the ring of fire, as they callit.
That is that is an apt name,but I really wanted to go slow
and I didn't want to rushbecause I I really, really
wanted to do my best to you knownot tear.
(26:42):
So even though it was like so,so painful, I was taking really
big pauses, I was trying to pushwith contractions.
As she was coming out, she didhave shoulder dystocia too.
Uh, but it wasn't as bad um asthe first time.
It was, it was, I think it wasresolved in like a minute or a
(27:05):
minute and a half, and it didn'trequire any major
interventions.
All I had to do was put my leftleg up in a lunge, and that
that was enough to unstick hershoulder.
And then after that, I think itwas like one big push and she
was out, and I was just soexcited that she was out, that
(27:28):
like you know, nothing crazy hadto happen to get her there.
Angela (27:32):
So, with your leg up like that, did you catch her?
Molly (27:35):
No, I was still on my hands and knees.
The midwife caught her, andthen I turned over and they put
her right on my chest.
She actually had a very shortcord, so she didn't reach very
far, which was also reallydifferent.
My first had a like a very longcord, like like extra long.
Um, hers was very short.
(27:56):
She didn't reach very far.
She was on me for a fewminutes.
I think they weren't superhappy with like her her color or
like her breathing wasn't likeperfect.
So they did cut it a littlefaster than I would have wanted
to.
I really think that you know,like delayed cord clamping is
ideal, but I was okay with that.
(28:19):
I don't I don't think I got tocut it this.
Maybe I did cut, I can't evenremember.
I cut my son's cord, which wasawesome.
I loved that.
I can't I think I did cut hers,but I can't quite remember,
honestly.
It was kind of a you know, ahectic moment.
So they took her over to likethe warming table to check her
(28:39):
out, and she was fine.
I think her her color looked alittle off because she had like
bruising on her face, but shewas totally okay.
And they brought her back, andthen they were checking me out,
and I only had like a very smallfirst degree tear, needed like
four stitches, so that was justthat made me so happy.
(29:03):
I was elated, and yeah, afterthat, oh, I I got the stitches
just fine, and after that, wejust got to rest, and I got to
hold her, you know, all night,and she actually slept quite
well in the bassinet the firstnight, uh, which is you know
(29:26):
always hit or miss.
But yeah, it was it was great,it was really everything I
wanted.
I really just wanted you know,a peaceful and straightforward
birth, I guess.
I really didn't want to tear.
I I really wanted her to comeout just fine, and I I got all
(29:47):
of that.
And I got to use the birth tub.
So all around it was uh it feltvery successful and just so
good.
I was so happy.
Angela (30:00):
Yeah, that's incredible.
What an amazing story.
I have a question though.
When you say that she had alittle bit of a shoulder
dystocia also, what was her likeemergence like?
Molly (30:10):
Um, I think they I think she just kind of I think her
head was out and the her bodywasn't progressing after like a
f maybe like a couplecontractions.
So at that point, my midwife,she kind of just like tapped on
my left leg and was like, putthis leg up, move this leg up,
and kind of helped me move itup.
(30:31):
And once I was in the lunge, Ithink that it like pretty much
instantly got her shoulder to tomove.
And then I I think it was likeone more push after that, like
one more contraction, one morepush, and her body was was out.
So they they didn't she didn'tintervene like very quickly.
(30:52):
She kinda I think she waswaiting to see if it would
resolve, and then she helped memove my leg and that that
resolved it.
Angela (31:01):
Yeah, that's amazing.
Molly (31:03):
Yeah, it was it was a really great experience, and I
was I was just so happy thatthings you know turned out
turned out well and the thedistotia wasn't super serious,
it was pretty easily resolved.
So that was my biggest hope.
Wow.
So and then how did yourplacenta come out?
Oh, um yeah, that that came outpretty quickly and easily.
(31:28):
I remember the the first time Iwas like it was it's such an a
weird feeling, you know, afterbirthing like a baby and then
the just birthing the placentais it's a very weird experience,
but it was fine.
And I got to check it out.
It looked cool.
It looked um it was it wasdefinitely different from the
(31:50):
first time though.
So I thought that was cool.
It's like you know, a uniqueorgan each time, each birth.
It's it's very cool.
And that was you know, I I likechecking them out.
I I know some people areprobably grossed out by it, but
I I think it's really coolbecause you you know you build
it from scratch along with yourbaby.
Angela (32:08):
So yes, placentas are so cool.
So, how was your first few daysin the hospital?
Like, how long did you staythere for?
And yeah, how's your postpartumbeen?
Molly (32:20):
Yeah, so I I gave birth to her at I think it was 434.
So my labor was about six hoursfrom water breaking to to
birth.
And I was like, nice, that's agood time because then I can
probably leave tomorrow.
(32:41):
Because I really didn't want tostay there very long, but you
have to stay at least 24 hoursfor the newborn tests.
So I let them know, like, youknow, if I could leave, like,
you know, after the newborntests, as long as everything's
good, like I would love to dothat.
And they were they were totallyfine with that.
Oh, she was she was eight and ahalf pounds, like eight pounds,
(33:04):
eight ounces exactly.
And I guess the there's like acutoff, I think they said it was
like eight pounds six ounces,where if they're bigger than
that, they do like the bloodsugar checks, which my son had
also, which you know are alittle annoying, but it's it is
what it is, and they were allfine, so she was all good there.
So I stayed the night, and thenext day my son came to visit at
(33:28):
the hospital in like theafternoon, and that was super
cute.
I was so happy to see him.
And of course, he he was didnot care about the baby, he just
wanted to play with the buttonson the bed, so he had a great
time.
My room, yeah, right.
And my room had a view of likethe train track, and you could
(33:49):
also see planes, so he was hewas just having a great time.
Trains, planes, cars, bedbuttons, you know, the works.
So it was it was great to seehim, but then I really wanted to
get home after he left.
I was like, okay, I want to gohome.
So they did the newborn tests,everything was totally fine.
They sent us home.
They did have us come in thenext day.
(34:11):
I think they wanted to checklike her bilirubin levels again,
and those were fine.
So yeah, the first the firstnight I well, yeah.
So with my with my son, Istarted co-sleeping or like bed
sharing with him after like amonth.
I probably would have done itsooner, but I was just a little
(34:32):
uncomfortable with his arm notbeing healed yet.
So I I kind of waited with her.
I started like the second nightwe were home.
I was just like, I I don't knowany other way to do this.
And you know, my bed's alreadyon the floor.
It's set up, so I was I wascomfortable with that.
So, you know, once we figuredout our sleeping situation, uh
(34:54):
my son and my husband are nowsharing a bed.
Me and the baby are sharing abed, so everyone's everyone's
co-sleeping, and so it's it's inthat sense, it's been great.
I think sleep was probably thehardest part of my first
postpartum, except for maybe thephysical recovery.
That was also pretty difficult.
(35:15):
But this time sleep has beengoing, you know, really well.
She's she's doing great withbreastfeeding.
And it's it was it was easierthan I thought, you know, having
her and my son at the sametime, like taking care of them
together.
It's it's been, I guess, bothharder and easier than I
(35:38):
thought.
I think the hardest part isjust my feelings, kind of just
feeling like I can't give bothof them what they need at all
times.
That's been a bit of anadjustment.
But my son's been so patientand he's really sweet with her.
He's a bit of a tornado, so thereal concern is like when he's
(35:59):
just you know running aroundlike crazy and he doesn't, he
can't always, you know, be superaware of you know his limbs.
But like his his purposefulinteractions with her are so
sweet and he's very gentle.
So that's all been amazing, andit's just been so sweet to
watch him become a big brother.
And I'm I'm just so excited tosee their relationship develop
(36:23):
over time.
Angela (36:25):
Yeah, oh my gosh, it's so fun to watch them grow and
like watch their relationshipgrow over time.
It's just it's it's so fun.
Molly (36:34):
Yeah, it's it's this, it's so sweet.
Angela (36:37):
Now, at this point in your journey, if you were to
give advice to someone who'sexpecting or even new parents,
what is one of the biggestthings that you would want to
share?
Molly (36:49):
Honestly, I'll go back to to pelvic floor therapy.
If you can do it, if you haveaccess to it, it's awesome.
Both prenatally and postpartum.
It's been so helpful to me.
So that's that's one big thing.
Do you care to share who youwent with?
Yeah, I went to root to risethere in Sacco and Scarborough.
(37:14):
I worked with Dr.
McKenzie, and she's great.
Uh, I'm still seeing her nowfor some postpartum visits.
And I I really I think shereally helped.
She really helped me have thebirth I wanted to have with the
advice she she gave.
I really do credit her to, youknow, helping me figure out some
(37:37):
optimal positions and justpreparing as much as I could.
Um, obviously there's noguarantees, but I I do think it
really helped.
So I'm a I'm a huge advocate ofpelvic floor therapy.
Angela (37:50):
Yes, absolutely.
Prenataly and postpartum, it'sdefinitely can be helpful.
For sure.
Molly (37:56):
And, you know, everyone says this, but to just like
really cherish those littlenewborn days as hard as they
are.
I think with my first, I wouldhave just rolled my eyes at
anyone who was like, justcherish these moments.
I was like, it's so hard.
Like, what do you mean?
Like it's just so hard.
(38:17):
And I I do get it now becauseyou know, I'm I'm not sure if
this is my last baby.
It might be, it might not be.
We'll see.
But I this time around, justbecause I'm not sure, I'm just
trying so hard to just even thehard moments to just really take
it in.
And, you know, because they'rethere's it's such a short time
(38:40):
that they're so little, and allof a sudden you blink and
they're two and a half, and likesprinting around the yard, and
like they don't want your hugsanymore.
They're just like, I'm gonna goexplore, and that's awesome
too.
But just enjoy those snuggleswhile they last.
And um, I'm just soaking it allin right now.
(39:00):
So that would be my advice isjust cherish it as much as you
can.
It's gonna be really hard too,but even the hard moments have
have beauty to them.
Angela (39:10):
Yes, absolutely.
I love that and could not agreemore with that.
It's so like it goes by sofast, and like you're so right,
like the days are long, but theyears are short.
So take it all over.
For sure.
Yeah, well, thank you so much,Molly, for taking the time to
chat with me again and come onand share your second birth
(39:33):
story.
Molly (39:34):
Thank you so much for having me.
I love doing this, I lovelistening to birth stories, and
I'm so happy I've gotten to tellmine.
Angela (39:42):
Before you go, I just want to remind you, I have a ton
of resources for pregnancy andbirth.
If you're pregnant, whetheryou're a first-time mom or if
this is your fifth baby, I wantyou to check out the show notes
because I have some freetrainings and free downloads
that you can sign up for, aswell as the link to access My
Labor of Love, a comprehensive,self-paced online childbirth
(40:05):
education course.
I created this coursespecifically for moms who don't
want to be told what to do,regardless of where you're
birthing or who you're birthingwith.
And I'd honestly love to teachyou everything that I know so
that you can prepare for anautonomous birth experience and
prepare to step into your roleas the leader of your birth
journey.
(40:26):
So, click to the show notes,check out all of those links,
and if you ever have anyquestions, feel free to DM me at
my main birth over onInstagram.
Yeah, it was it was great.
It was really everything Iwanted.
I really just wanted a peacefuland straightforward birth, I
guess.
I really didn't want to tear.
I I really wanted her to comeout just fine.
And I I got all of that.
(00:21):
And I got to use the birth tub.
So all around it was a it feltvery successful and just so
good.
I was so happy.
Angela (00:33):
I'm Angela, and I'm a certified birth photographer,
experienced duela, childbirtheducator, and your host here on
the My Main Birth podcast.
This is a space where we sharethe real life stories of
families and their unique birthexperiences in the beautiful
state of Maine.
From our state's biggesthospitals, the birth center
births and home births, everybirth story deserves to be heard
(00:57):
and celebrated.
Whether you're a soon-to-bemom, a seasoned mother, or
simply interested in the worldof birth, these episodes are for
you.
Welcome back.
You're listening to episode 134of My Main Birth.
For these next few episodes,I'm gonna be doing something
that I think is really fun.
(01:18):
And I'm gonna be sharing thestories of women who have
already been guests on thepodcast, but have new birth
stories to share.
And to get us started, today'sbirth story guest is Molly.
Molly shared her first birthstory back in episode 17.
So go check that out to hearthe first part of her story.
And she is back today to shareall about her second birth,
(01:42):
which was at Mercy Hospital inPortland.
Alright.
Hi Molly, welcome back to mymain birth.
Hi.
So you shared your first birthstory back in episode 17, which
was a little while ago.
So for anyone that doesn'tknow, would you start by sharing
a little bit about you and yourfamily?
Molly (02:03):
So my name is Molly.
Uh, my husband's name is Zach.
Our son, who's two and a half,his name is Todd.
Uh, we just welcomed Jane abouttwo months ago.
And we also have a cat namedAndy.
Angela (02:20):
Amazing.
Now, for anyone that wants tohear your first birth story, you
can go back and listen to thatin episode 17 of the podcast.
And now to talk about yoursecond birth story, would you
share a little bit about how youfound out you were pregnant for
the second time and what yourthoughts were in choosing your
(02:40):
care going into it the secondtime?
Molly (02:43):
So we found out we were having Jane in late December.
Um, we were actually we wereplanning on trying to start
having a second kid, um, maybein like January or February, and
then late December came aroundand I hadn't had my period in a
(03:05):
little while.
So I was like, hmm, I shouldprobably check.
I took a test and it wasnegative.
And then a couple weeks later,it's it still hadn't arrived.
And I was like, hmm, you know,I'm gonna take another one.
So I think it was actually NewYear's Eve.
I took one and it it was verypositive.
So that was exciting for us.
We were we were definitelyready.
It came a little sooner than weexpected, but we were we were
(03:28):
prepared.
So that was very exciting news.
And choosing care was the firstdecision.
We, you know, it was the firstthing we had to think about when
we found out with my first.
I had a home birth, um, and itwas it was a wonderful
experience, but it for anyonewho goes goes back and listens
(03:50):
to the episode, it was a littlechaotic.
It was a very fast labor, and Ihad to transfer after birth
because my son had shoulderdystocia and his arm was
injured, and I also had a prettysevere tear.
So going into this one, kind ofthe first decision was do I
(04:11):
want to have another home birth?
And I put a lot of thought intoit.
It was a really hard decisionto make because I loved my
midwife.
Um, she was incredible.
Her name was Ariel Bernstein ofum Sacco River Midwifery, and
she was just incredible.
So so much of me just wanted towork with her again.
(04:32):
But I think actually when I gotpregnant, she wasn't, I'm not
sure if she was even back inMaine, because I I think she
might have been finishing hermaster's degree.
So once I found out that shemight not even be around, I was
thinking more like, do I want tohave a home birth with someone
else?
And ultimately I decided Ididn't want to.
(04:55):
And the main reason was becausetransferring was rough, it was
really difficult.
It didn't ruin the experienceat all, but it was very
stressful.
And I I wanted to seriouslyconsider how much of a risk
there was that I would have totransfer in.
And the thing that made me themost nervous was if I had a home
(05:20):
birth and the baby was okay,but I needed stitches again that
I couldn't, you know, that werelike very serious and couldn't
be done at home, thinking abouthaving to bring a perfectly fine
baby to the hospital, like whenI needed something was a little
stressful, having to beseparated.
So then I decided afterthinking about that that I
(05:41):
didn't want to do a home birthagain, but I did really want to
work with midwives.
So I started looking intomidwives that worked in hospital
settings.
I have a friend who had areally good experience at Mercy
working with the Mercy midwives.
So I checked and they werecovered by my insurance, and I
decided to go with them.
Angela (06:02):
Awesome.
Yeah.
And so how are yourappointments?
Um, like once you started goingin, how did that look?
Molly (06:08):
The appointments were um great, definitely not as uh like
personal as with my firstmidwife, who like the
appointments were you know longand we often just ended up like
chatting and getting to knoweach other on you know a more
personal level.
Mercy, they were you know likefaster, more like a typical
(06:30):
doctor's appointment.
You know, they're they're busy,they've got a lot of people,
and but they were good.
The midwives were amazing.
Oh, bless you.
Bless you.
Oh, three.
Wow.
Um, they really uh they theytook you know my opinions into
(06:51):
consideration and were neverjudgmental about decisions I
made.
Um it did feel more holisticthan like an OB.
With my with my first, I saw anOB for the first 20 weeks and
then switched over and startedplanning a home birth.
And so it it it was better thanmy experience with an OB, not
(07:13):
quite as personal as myexperience with a home birth
midwife, but somewhere in themiddle that I was happy with.
Yeah.
And I I did most of the basictests and uh stuff with them.
I did I got one extraultrasound this time late in
(07:33):
pregnancy, I think at like 37weeks, just to get a size
estimate.
Because my first was a largebaby, he was nine pounds, six
ounces, and they wanted like asize estimate for her just to
maybe kind of gauge what therisk of another shoulder
(07:55):
dystocia was.
Obviously, there's other riskfactors besides sides, size, but
that's kind of one thing theywere looking for.
And ultimately, like I don'tthink the last ultrasound was
really necessary because I Ikind of knew what I wanted to do
either way, and that was justyou know an attempt at a vaginal
birth.
Angela (08:13):
Were they recommending a cesarean because of your the
way that your first birth went?
Molly (08:18):
They didn't recommend one, they did they they said it
was an option.
They were like, you know, wecan offer like an elective if
that's more what you're lookingfor.
Um, and I wasn't, I really didwant to try uh vaginal
unmedicated again.
And they they respected that.
And I think they the whole timethey kind of were just talking
(08:41):
to me about like you know, my mypersonal comfort with the
risks, and I decided I I thoughtit was worth trying.
I definitely didn't want anelective C-section if if it
wasn't really necessary.
So I I decided to go for avaginal birth, and they
respected that choice and werewere game to try and help me get
(09:05):
it.
So I appreciated that.
Angela (09:07):
Yeah, oh that's so helpful.
And like they can just like layout all the options and like
give you like the all of theoptions and then let you choose
and then respect that.
Like that's that's so good.
So what were your how were youdoing like emotionally like with
this pregnancy, considering howyour first birth went?
Like, were you having a lot ofanxiety about like the shoulder
(09:30):
dystocia or other things as likeyour pregnancy progressed?
Molly (09:34):
Somewhat, yeah.
With my first, I had suchlittle fear going in.
Um, I think I was justextremely optimistic and
excited.
This time I was still mostlyoptimistic and excited, but of
course, I I had more of an ideaof like, you know, things that
can go wrong, things that cancomplicate birth.
(09:56):
And um, so yeah, I I was alittle bit worried.
I knew it was probably prettylikely this baby would also be
on the larger side.
So I and I was also a little,well, pretty worried about um
tearing really bad again,because I think there was also
an increased risk of that aswell, since it happened the
first time.
(10:16):
Um so those were my my biggestfears for sure was like another
really bad shoulder dystocia,another really bad tear.
So I did want to, I wanted totry to find any way to like
slightly prepare, both you know,mentally and physically.
Mentally, I think I kind ofjust had to just not overthink
(10:37):
it too much, not assume it wasgoing to happen, be mentally
prepared if it did happen, youknow, everything turned out okay
with my son.
There's no reason it wouldn't,you know, turn out okay again.
Physically, I wanted toprepare, um, just you know,
finding exercises or stretch tohelp get the baby in a really
(11:00):
good position, and also work onlike my scar tissue to try to
like you know, see if I couldlike soften it ahead of time.
Uh, I ended up doing pelvicfloor therapy in my second and
third trimesters.
With my first, I did pelvicfloor therapy postpartum only.
(11:24):
This time I thought it might behelpful ahead of time, and it
really was.
My therapist worked with me onall sorts of different positions
and kind of explaining to mehow you know the baby moves
through your pelvis anddifferent positions that can
help like help them drop andthen help them move their
(11:45):
shoulders through and then helpyou push.
That was all extremely helpful.
And she also explained to mehow to use like a pelvic wand to
do like perennial massage, um,which I think also really helped
me.
So that that was completelyworth it.
I I loved that.
And I wish I'd I'd wish I'ddone it prenatally the first
time too.
I just didn't really know itwas a thing back then.
Angela (12:10):
Yeah, definitely.
That can be so helpful to do,like in preparing for birth,
too, for sure.
That's awesome that you're ableto do that.
So, how else were you feelinglike physically as your
pregnancy progressed?
Molly (12:21):
Mostly this this pregnancy was very smooth.
I had a toddler to keep up withthis time, so there was a lot
less, a lot less rest.
Uh, but in some ways that wasgood.
I think it was helpful to beactive.
My third trimester was in themiddle of summer, so that was
that was the the tough part,probably, is once things got
really hot and I was huge andreally tired.
(12:45):
That was the biggest struggle,I'd say.
And both with my first and andwith Jane, I had really bad rib
pain, especially on my rightside.
I don't really know why, but myribs just do not want to make
this the space at the end, Iguess.
So that was also really toughfor the last like six weeks.
(13:05):
I was I was in a bit of painthere.
But the the one good thingabout being pregnant in the
summer, as long as you live nearwater, is just swimming all the
time.
I went to the beach so much,and the water was really one of
the only things that relievedthe rib pain, and it just felt
so good.
So that that was really nice.
Angela (13:28):
Oh, awesome.
That that must have helped withlike the toddler too, to like
go just go to the beach with himand keep him busy and you can,
you know, swim and yeah, thebeach is amazing for toddlers
because it's it's he just willchill, you know.
Molly (13:44):
Like it's so hard to get toddlers to just chill, but he
he loves the beach and he's he'sstill now in November asking to
uh go to the beach all thetime.
I'm like, yeah, the next nextyear he loves the beach.
Angela (13:58):
Oh, that's so fun! Awesome.
So now how were those finalweeks and then days looking like
leading up to when your laborstarted?
Molly (14:10):
The last uh few weeks were mentally tough.
I think the first time I wasreally in no rush to give birth.
I think part of me expected togo to like 42 weeks, and I I was
like okay with that.
I didn't go that long, but thistime by the time you know 37,
(14:32):
38 weeks hit, I was I felt done.
I I was so exhausted and soready for her to be here.
I I think every day I was justyou know praying a little bit,
like maybe today's the day,maybe it's today.
There was one day where we werewe were gonna get takeout and
we were deciding what to get.
And I said, we need to get uhwe need to get Thai food, we
(14:55):
need to get spicy fried rice,because that's like that's what
I ate right before I had myfirst.
So I was like, we gotta getspicy fried rice, we gotta get
this baby out.
So we had that for dinner.
The next day I woke up and Ihad this huge to-do list.
Like, I need to clean this, Ineed to meal prep this.
I had so much stuff to do, andI was so cranky.
(15:18):
Um, and I'd I was writing out,I was finishing my to-do list
for the day, and the last thingI put on was like, pack birth
bag.
Like, I still hadn't done that.
And then right as I finishedtyping that, my water broke.
I was like, Oh, oh, there itis.
Um and I my husband had takenmy son out on a little bike ride
(15:42):
around the neighborhood, and Itexted him and just said, you
know, no rush.
I think my water did just breakthough.
Um so he came back and uh it itdefinitely kept kept coming in
big gushes.
So I I was like, wow, I guesstoday's the day.
And I was so relieved.
(16:03):
Um it was about I think it wasabout 10 in the morning.
So I was I was happy aboutthat.
Um because one of my one of thethings that was stressing me
out the most was having to leavefor the hospital and leave my
son at home.
Um I'd never spent, you know, anight away from him before, or
(16:29):
really very much time during theday.
I'm a stay-at-home mom, so I'mwith him all the time and like
we co-sleep.
So it was, you know, I was verynervous.
I didn't want to have to justleave in the middle of the
night.
I wasn't really sure if itwould be better if I left when
he was asleep and he didn't evenknow, or but I didn't want him
to wake up without me.
So it was I was like, okay,it's daytime.
(16:51):
He's here.
I can like say a propergoodbye.
Um our plan, the whole yeah, Iknow.
I was I was excited that Icould say goodbye to him.
Angela (17:03):
And you probably rearranged your to-do list and
put pack the birth bag at thetop of the list, right?
Molly (17:10):
Yeah, that was at the top, and I had to go do it right
away.
So after my water broke, thatwas the first thing I did was
start was start packing and uhget my son back in and kind of
tell him, like, oh, we're we'reabout to head out.
I had to call my mom.
She was the one who was gonnastay with my my son.
It took a little while to getin touch with her.
(17:32):
She was she was taking a walkon the beach, but I uh uh
luckily she there was there wasplenty of time.
I was nervous though because myfirst came so quickly that I
was was like, I gotta get there.
Like, I gotta get there, youknow, before before the baby
comes.
But I also wanted to get to thehospital before things got
(17:53):
super intense because I reallywanted to use their birth tubs.
I also didn't want to driveduring really bad contractions.
We live like very, very closeto Mercy, so it it was only like
a five-minute drive, but I hadlike two contractions on the car
ride and they were unpleasant.
So I'm I don't know how peoplemake it for like long car car
(18:16):
rides to the hospital whenthey're in labor.
Angela (18:18):
Dad you had been having like consistent contractions, or
were they still kind of likeirregular when you were able to
like like make your way in?
Molly (18:27):
Yeah.
So water broke at 10.
I wasn't really having anycontractions until closer to
like 12:30.
And then I started noticingthem, and they were relatively
consistent.
So at that point, I called mymidwife and was like, Yeah, I'm
I'm feeling something.
(18:48):
Um, and she said we could comeinto the office and just get
checked out, and then she would,you know, let us know, like,
oh, you can go home for a whileor you can just go to the birth
center.
So we went to the office.
The contractions were feelingstronger.
I had two in the car that werelike, oh, okay, this is this is
something.
She uh checked me out,confirmed it was amniotic fluid,
(19:13):
did a cervical check, and I wassix centimeters.
So she was like, Yep, go to thebirth center.
I'll see you later.
So I was super happy aboutthat.
We I was still able to walk, itwasn't super uncomfortable.
So we were we walked over andthey got me all checked in.
Uh, they they let me know aheadof time that they they like to
(19:34):
do like a stress test when youfirst get there for like 20
minutes or so.
I was okay with that.
So they put the little likebelt thing around my belly um to
follow contractions, I guess,and check the heart rate of of
the baby and stuff.
And the nurses were like hypingme up because I was I was still
(19:56):
pretty relaxed and just liketalking, filling out forms.
And uh one of them was like, Ohmy god, like are you are you
feeling those?
Like those are bigcontractions.
I was like, uh, it's not so badyet.
So that made me feel great.
I was like, nice, I'm strong,I'm doing good.
And everything seemed normal.
So they took the belt thingoff.
And at that point, I was kindof just, you know, feeling out
(20:20):
the contractions.
They weren't they weren't superstrong yet.
I bounced on the ball.
My midwife came in and chattedwith us for a while, just like,
you know, we I think we would wejust talked about like my last
birth and just chatted uh inbetween contractions, and that
was that was nice.
And then let's see, I think theby that point it was like maybe
(20:46):
two, and then at some point thecontractions started, they were
getting like a lot moreintense, and the birth ball
wasn't comfortable anymore.
And the nurse asked if I wantedto use the birth tub, and I
don't know why, but for somereason I hesitated and I was
like, I don't know, I don't knowif I want to commit to the
birth tub right now.
But then I was like, wait, no,I I really want the birth tub.
(21:09):
I didn't get to use one for myfirst because everything was
like way too fast, and we didn'thave time to fill it or set it
up or anything.
So I really, really wanted thatfor this one.
The the midwives did say likeit wasn't, I I wasn't gonna give
birth in the tub just becauseof the shoulder dystocia risk.
But I I definitely wanted tolabor in the tub for a while, so
(21:32):
they filled it up and I got inand it it was amazing.
Like, I I wish everyone got touse one because it's it's so
nice, especially for those kindof like middle level control,
like but they're like, you know,you're feeling it.
It's so good for that chunk oftime.
(21:52):
It's kind of like floatedaround a little, and it it was
so soothing and nice.
I was just able to chill inthere for a while.
Angela (22:01):
Yeah, that weightlessness.
Molly (22:02):
Yeah, it feels so good.
It was it was just like youknow, the relief of swimming in
the ocean when I was superpregnant, it just it felt great
and it really helped my back,and it was just amazing.
And then once the contractionsgot like really intense, the the
tub wasn't like comfortableanymore.
(22:22):
There there hit a point where Iwas like, I can't get in the
right positions anymore, I'mready to get out.
And so at that point, I I gotout and went over to the bed,
and it was it was like the samewith my first.
Once things got really intense,I was just like on my hands and
knees in bed, and that was justwhat felt right.
(22:44):
And I did the same thing thistime.
The hospital bed was actuallykind of awesome for it because
it goes at that angle, so Icould be more on my elbows
instead of having to like takethe weight on my wrist, so that
was kind of cool too.
I liked that, and yeah, so Igot on my hands and knees,
getting more and more intense.
(23:04):
I do remember at certain pointsbeing like a little bothered
that it was daylight, beinglike, it's it's so bright, like
I wish I was in the dark, and II I almost asked to like shut
the curtains, but then I I kindof just forgot, I guess.
I was I just kept poweringthrough.
Like hard to communicate inthat headspace, right?
(23:25):
For sure.
It's it's like and it was thesame with my first.
I didn't want to talk toanyone, I just was like really
in my own head.
My first birth was so like itfelt like a different world.
I I would say that was probablylike one of the bigger
differences between home andhospital.
(23:47):
In the hospital, I I I did feelmore like aware.
And I almost think it it was alittle more like like I felt the
contractions more.
I felt a little less kind of inlike labor land.
I don't really know if it'sbecause it was like the hospital
versus my house or if it waspartially just because it was
like daytime and I was like moreawake.
(24:07):
It was like the middle of theday.
So I don't know, it was it wasa it was slightly different.
I I felt more aware of everycontraction, I could kind of
like feel it a little morestrongly.
In some ways, that was almostlike helpful because I I feel
like I could move intopositions, I could like kind of
feel what position I needed,maybe a little better.
(24:28):
That could have also just beenfrom like, you know, it was my
second time giving birth.
I was like a little moreexperienced, and but yeah, so I
I I could feel things like morestrongly.
I felt a little more aware, butI still really didn't want to
talk to anyone.
Um I wasn't like responding,you know, super well, but
luckily there didn't need to bethat much communication.
(24:51):
Yeah, and I the the strongerthings got, I just like
vocalized more and more.
That was one of my worriesabout birthing in the hospital
was that I I would feelself-conscious and like wouldn't
be able to like you knowvocalize the way I needed to or
do what I needed to do, butluckily everything was so I just
(25:14):
forgot everyone was therepretty much.
I didn't care.
Awesome.
So that was good.
I've heard people talk abouttheir experiences where like,
you know, a nurse tells them tolike be quiet or like not scream
or something.
That's like that's so wrong tome.
Like you need to, you reallyneed to make the sounds you need
to make.
And luckily, um, like my nurseswere amazing and were just
(25:37):
like, you're incredible, likeyou're doing a great job.
They didn't, you know, theydidn't chastise me at all for
yelling and making noise.
So that was great.
And yeah, everything was goingwell, contractions were back to
back, and I I was handling itpretty well.
(25:58):
And then the midwife came in II think after not too long after
I got out of the birthtubbecause things were moving
quickly.
So she was there uh rooting forme and keeping an eye on
things.
And then when I started Istarted crowning the baby was
(26:18):
crowning.
And for me, that's all that'sthe most like painful part, like
the ring of fire, as they callit.
That is that is an apt name,but I really wanted to go slow
and I didn't want to rushbecause I I really, really
wanted to do my best to you knownot tear.
(26:42):
So even though it was like so,so painful, I was taking really
big pauses, I was trying to pushwith contractions.
As she was coming out, she didhave shoulder dystocia too.
Uh, but it wasn't as bad um asthe first time.
It was, it was, I think it wasresolved in like a minute or a
(27:05):
minute and a half, and it didn'trequire any major
interventions.
All I had to do was put my leftleg up in a lunge, and that
that was enough to unstick hershoulder.
And then after that, I think itwas like one big push and she
was out, and I was just soexcited that she was out, that
(27:28):
like you know, nothing crazy hadto happen to get her there.
Angela (27:32):
So, with your leg up like that, did you catch her?
Molly (27:35):
No, I was still on my hands and knees.
The midwife caught her, andthen I turned over and they put
her right on my chest.
She actually had a very shortcord, so she didn't reach very
far, which was also reallydifferent.
My first had a like a very longcord, like like extra long.
Um, hers was very short.
(27:56):
She didn't reach very far.
She was on me for a fewminutes.
I think they weren't superhappy with like her her color or
like her breathing wasn't likeperfect.
So they did cut it a littlefaster than I would have wanted
to.
I really think that you know,like delayed cord clamping is
ideal, but I was okay with that.
(28:19):
I don't I don't think I got tocut it this.
Maybe I did cut, I can't evenremember.
I cut my son's cord, which wasawesome.
I loved that.
I can't I think I did cut hers,but I can't quite remember,
honestly.
It was kind of a you know, ahectic moment.
So they took her over to likethe warming table to check her
(28:39):
out, and she was fine.
I think her her color looked alittle off because she had like
bruising on her face, but shewas totally okay.
And they brought her back, andthen they were checking me out,
and I only had like a very smallfirst degree tear, needed like
four stitches, so that was justthat made me so happy.
(29:03):
I was elated, and yeah, afterthat, oh, I I got the stitches
just fine, and after that, wejust got to rest, and I got to
hold her, you know, all night,and she actually slept quite
well in the bassinet the firstnight, uh, which is you know
(29:26):
always hit or miss.
But yeah, it was it was great,it was really everything I
wanted.
I really just wanted you know,a peaceful and straightforward
birth, I guess.
I really didn't want to tear.
I I really wanted her to comeout just fine, and I I got all
(29:47):
of that.
And I got to use the birth tub.
So all around it was uh it feltvery successful and just so
good.
I was so happy.
Angela (30:00):
Yeah, that's incredible.
What an amazing story.
I have a question though.
When you say that she had alittle bit of a shoulder
dystocia also, what was her likeemergence like?
Molly (30:10):
Um, I think they I think she just kind of I think her
head was out and the her bodywasn't progressing after like a
f maybe like a couplecontractions.
So at that point, my midwife,she kind of just like tapped on
my left leg and was like, putthis leg up, move this leg up,
and kind of helped me move itup.
(30:31):
And once I was in the lunge, Ithink that it like pretty much
instantly got her shoulder to tomove.
And then I I think it was likeone more push after that, like
one more contraction, one morepush, and her body was was out.
So they they didn't she didn'tintervene like very quickly.
(30:52):
She kinda I think she waswaiting to see if it would
resolve, and then she helped memove my leg and that that
resolved it.
Angela (31:01):
Yeah, that's amazing.
Molly (31:03):
Yeah, it was it was a really great experience, and I
was I was just so happy thatthings you know turned out
turned out well and the thedistotia wasn't super serious,
it was pretty easily resolved.
So that was my biggest hope.
Wow.
So and then how did yourplacenta come out?
Oh, um yeah, that that came outpretty quickly and easily.
(31:28):
I remember the the first time Iwas like it was it's such an a
weird feeling, you know, afterbirthing like a baby and then
the just birthing the placentais it's a very weird experience,
but it was fine.
And I got to check it out.
It looked cool.
It looked um it was it wasdefinitely different from the
(31:50):
first time though.
So I thought that was cool.
It's like you know, a uniqueorgan each time, each birth.
It's it's very cool.
And that was you know, I I likechecking them out.
I I know some people areprobably grossed out by it, but
I I think it's really coolbecause you you know you build
it from scratch along with yourbaby.
Angela (32:08):
So yes, placentas are so cool.
So, how was your first few daysin the hospital?
Like, how long did you staythere for?
And yeah, how's your postpartumbeen?
Molly (32:20):
Yeah, so I I gave birth to her at I think it was 434.
So my labor was about six hoursfrom water breaking to to
birth.
And I was like, nice, that's agood time because then I can
probably leave tomorrow.
(32:41):
Because I really didn't want tostay there very long, but you
have to stay at least 24 hoursfor the newborn tests.
So I let them know, like, youknow, if I could leave, like,
you know, after the newborntests, as long as everything's
good, like I would love to dothat.
And they were they were totallyfine with that.
Oh, she was she was eight and ahalf pounds, like eight pounds,
(33:04):
eight ounces exactly.
And I guess the there's like acutoff, I think they said it was
like eight pounds six ounces,where if they're bigger than
that, they do like the bloodsugar checks, which my son had
also, which you know are alittle annoying, but it's it is
what it is, and they were allfine, so she was all good there.
So I stayed the night, and thenext day my son came to visit at
(33:28):
the hospital in like theafternoon, and that was super
cute.
I was so happy to see him.
And of course, he he was didnot care about the baby, he just
wanted to play with the buttonson the bed, so he had a great
time.
My room, yeah, right.
And my room had a view of likethe train track, and you could
(33:49):
also see planes, so he was hewas just having a great time.
Trains, planes, cars, bedbuttons, you know, the works.
So it was it was great to seehim, but then I really wanted to
get home after he left.
I was like, okay, I want to gohome.
So they did the newborn tests,everything was totally fine.
They sent us home.
They did have us come in thenext day.
(34:11):
I think they wanted to checklike her bilirubin levels again,
and those were fine.
So yeah, the first the firstnight I well, yeah.
So with my with my son, Istarted co-sleeping or like bed
sharing with him after like amonth.
I probably would have done itsooner, but I was just a little
(34:32):
uncomfortable with his arm notbeing healed yet.
So I I kind of waited with her.
I started like the second nightwe were home.
I was just like, I I don't knowany other way to do this.
And you know, my bed's alreadyon the floor.
It's set up, so I was I wascomfortable with that.
So, you know, once we figuredout our sleeping situation, uh
(34:54):
my son and my husband are nowsharing a bed.
Me and the baby are sharing abed, so everyone's everyone's
co-sleeping, and so it's it's inthat sense, it's been great.
I think sleep was probably thehardest part of my first
postpartum, except for maybe thephysical recovery.
That was also pretty difficult.
(35:15):
But this time sleep has beengoing, you know, really well.
She's she's doing great withbreastfeeding.
And it's it was it was easierthan I thought, you know, having
her and my son at the sametime, like taking care of them
together.
It's it's been, I guess, bothharder and easier than I
(35:38):
thought.
I think the hardest part isjust my feelings, kind of just
feeling like I can't give bothof them what they need at all
times.
That's been a bit of anadjustment.
But my son's been so patientand he's really sweet with her.
He's a bit of a tornado, so thereal concern is like when he's
(35:59):
just you know running aroundlike crazy and he doesn't, he
can't always, you know, be superaware of you know his limbs.
But like his his purposefulinteractions with her are so
sweet and he's very gentle.
So that's all been amazing, andit's just been so sweet to
watch him become a big brother.
And I'm I'm just so excited tosee their relationship develop
(36:23):
over time.
Angela (36:25):
Yeah, oh my gosh, it's so fun to watch them grow and
like watch their relationshipgrow over time.
It's just it's it's so fun.
Molly (36:34):
Yeah, it's it's this, it's so sweet.
Angela (36:37):
Now, at this point in your journey, if you were to
give advice to someone who'sexpecting or even new parents,
what is one of the biggestthings that you would want to
share?
Molly (36:49):
Honestly, I'll go back to to pelvic floor therapy.
If you can do it, if you haveaccess to it, it's awesome.
Both prenatally and postpartum.
It's been so helpful to me.
So that's that's one big thing.
Do you care to share who youwent with?
Yeah, I went to root to risethere in Sacco and Scarborough.
(37:14):
I worked with Dr.
McKenzie, and she's great.
Uh, I'm still seeing her nowfor some postpartum visits.
And I I really I think shereally helped.
She really helped me have thebirth I wanted to have with the
advice she she gave.
I really do credit her to, youknow, helping me figure out some
(37:37):
optimal positions and justpreparing as much as I could.
Um, obviously there's noguarantees, but I I do think it
really helped.
So I'm a I'm a huge advocate ofpelvic floor therapy.
Angela (37:50):
Yes, absolutely.
Prenataly and postpartum, it'sdefinitely can be helpful.
For sure.
Molly (37:56):
And, you know, everyone says this, but to just like
really cherish those littlenewborn days as hard as they
are.
I think with my first, I wouldhave just rolled my eyes at
anyone who was like, justcherish these moments.
I was like, it's so hard.
Like, what do you mean?
Like it's just so hard.
(38:17):
And I I do get it now becauseyou know, I'm I'm not sure if
this is my last baby.
It might be, it might not be.
We'll see.
But I this time around, justbecause I'm not sure, I'm just
trying so hard to just even thehard moments to just really take
it in.
And, you know, because they'rethere's it's such a short time
(38:40):
that they're so little, and allof a sudden you blink and
they're two and a half, and likesprinting around the yard, and
like they don't want your hugsanymore.
They're just like, I'm gonna goexplore, and that's awesome
too.
But just enjoy those snuggleswhile they last.
And um, I'm just soaking it allin right now.
(39:00):
So that would be my advice isjust cherish it as much as you
can.
It's gonna be really hard too,but even the hard moments have
have beauty to them.
Angela (39:10):
Yes, absolutely.
I love that and could not agreemore with that.
It's so like it goes by sofast, and like you're so right,
like the days are long, but theyears are short.
So take it all over.
For sure.
Yeah, well, thank you so much,Molly, for taking the time to
chat with me again and come onand share your second birth
(39:33):
story.
Molly (39:34):
Thank you so much for having me.
I love doing this, I lovelistening to birth stories, and
I'm so happy I've gotten to tellmine.
Angela (39:42):
Before you go, I just want to remind you, I have a ton
of resources for pregnancy andbirth.
If you're pregnant, whetheryou're a first-time mom or if
this is your fifth baby, I wantyou to check out the show notes
because I have some freetrainings and free downloads
that you can sign up for, aswell as the link to access My
Labor of Love, a comprehensive,self-paced online childbirth
(40:05):
education course.
I created this coursespecifically for moms who don't
want to be told what to do,regardless of where you're
birthing or who you're birthingwith.
And I'd honestly love to teachyou everything that I know so
that you can prepare for anautonomous birth experience and
prepare to step into your roleas the leader of your birth
journey.
(40:26):
So, click to the show notes,check out all of those links,
and if you ever have anyquestions, feel free to DM me at
my main birth over onInstagram.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Bobby Bones Show
Listen to 'The Bobby Bones Show' by downloading the daily full replay.